We found out that under Obamacare, the health insurance premiums in 11 states and DC are down about 20% from projections for 2014. Obamacare is working!
Don't worry, Republicans have tried 39 times to (symbolically) repeal Obamacare and there's no hint that they will stop trying over and over to repeal it. (Mostly so they can go back home and say, like Michele Bachmann did, that we repealed Obamacare. Fine, except that the Senate didn't and so it is a moot point. It is not repealed.)
If that doesn't work, here's something that might work and it's from Freedom Works, so right there in the name it makes it sound as if it just might work. They are announcing a "Burn Your Obamacare Card Campaign to Resist the Compulsory Health Care Law. So, I'll stop for a few minutes and you go get your Obamacare card out of your wallet.
Music to listen to while I wait for you to get your Obamacare Card.
What?!? You can't find it????? Well, that's because there is no such thing as an Obamacare Card. Not to worry. Freedom Works is going to make up one and put it on their website or some such thing. Then you can use that, or as Stephen suggested, print it, cut it, laminate it, and then burn it.
Back in the 1960's, people, meaning 18 year-old guys, would burn their draft card. This was to show opposition to the Vietnam War. Some are suggesting there is a similar thing happening here, but Stephen wasn't buying it completely. To be in harmony with what they did way back then, you would also need to move to Canada.Which is a wonderful idea because they have a great health care plan there.
In order to clear up the whole Benghazi controversy, Representative Steve Stockman rolled out a 60 foot-long petition on the steps of the Capitol. Wow! Do you have any idea how many thousands of signatures would be on a petition that long? Well, actually, only 1000 signatures were on it, but they were very big signatures. Stephen Colbert has plans to do better than that. He has a 65-foot petition that is 2-ply and he's not just going to roll it down the steps of the Capitol, he's going to drape the place with the petition.
We had a little bit of British culture and a little bit of North Carolina humor and then The Lumineers were on the show. That was Wesley Schultz, Neyla Pekarek, and Jeremiah Fraites. They are one of the few bands I know of that have made a point of emphasizing their Before and After talent. They had a subdued conversation with Stephen and then they played some music and of course if you go to Colbert Nation, there's a bonus song.
Update: I now realize that Stephen wasn't telling a joke about North Carolina, he was explaining existing or planned laws in North Carolina. Such things as making couples wait two years before getting a divorce, allowing North Carolina to declare a State Religion, deciding that Charter School teachers don't really actually need to have a college degree to teach core subjects, (let the 6th graders teach the 5th graders was Stephen's great idea) and allowing people to bring guns to bars and playgrounds. Then instead of kids in the playground playing Duck Duck Goose, they could play Duck Duck DUCK!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Cantaloupe Calves
Is nothing what it seems any more? The Town Crier who so eloquently, if unintelligibly, yelled out that the Royal Baby had been born, is apparently fake. Okay, he is real, but he is not a real Town Crier for London or for the Royalty. His name is Tony Appleton and he does weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs. I don't know quite what he does at those events, maybe he just yells. He took it upon himself to announce the news and it certainly looked like he had a jolly good time doing it.
In another city in another country, Detroit could use a good Town Crier. You know, someone to yell at people to get going, get stuff done, take care of each other. Detroit is officially bankrupt and everyone is blaming the problems on the Unions. This is bad news for retirees who were counting on their "lavish" pensions that average $19,000.
On the show to tell Stephen about how Detroit is going to survive was Stephen Henderson of the Detroit Free Press. He is optimistic. Stephen Colbert suggested everyone in Detroit get malaria so that Bill Gates would come in and save the town. You probably know that everyone is suggesting that the Detroit Institute of Arts sell off its treasures. Stephen Henderson is not a fan of that because, well all those things are treasures of Detroit. Stephen Colbert believes manufacturing is a thing of the past in Detroit. Stephen Henderson believes manufacturing is a thing of the future in Detroit.
Steve King (is everything tonight about Stephens and Stevens?) is fond of saying all sorts of things. Recently he claimed that young illegals weigh 130 pounds, have calves like cantaloupes and are hauling drugs across the desert.
He also recently compared immigrants to dogs, according to some people. Friend of the show and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos recently asked Steve King about his comments. No no no no. Jorge Ramos had it all wrong. Steve King was "celebrating" legal immigrants with his comments.
It's easy to understand. For example, Stephen called Steve King a tool. That is a compliment. A tool is a useful implement.No need for Steven King to be offended by that.
Senator Olympia Snowe was on the show as the guest. I think she was scheduled to be on earlier this year but things happened and she was not on until now. She is a rare creature, a moderate Republican. She brought diversity to the Republican party, i.e. political diversity. They both agreed that many moderate Republicans are in the closet. She has a book out, "Fighting For Common Ground - How We Can Fix the Stalemate In Congress."
Stephen handed her a challenge. "Getting something done. Sell me on it."
Whoa! Then Stephen threw some challenging stuff at her. John Boehner recently said that the job of Congress is not to pass laws, it's to repeal them. Mitch McConnell had as a goal making Barack Obama a one-term president. Neither man said anything about getting something done.
Stephen and Olympia Snowe disagreed further. She thinks the purpose of being in public office is to get something done. He thinks the purpose is of being in public office is to stay in public office.
(As if that isn't enough to disagree on, she doesn't think Stephen should have been able to have a Super PAC)
Even tougher question for her, considering how important it is to her to get something done - "Why did you leave the Senate?"
"Because the polarization wasn't going to diminish, and I wanted to take my fight outside of the Senate."
(Be sure to go to that link about Olympia Snowe. You can see a photo of the huge snowman built in her honor. Just scroll down the page a bit.)
In another city in another country, Detroit could use a good Town Crier. You know, someone to yell at people to get going, get stuff done, take care of each other. Detroit is officially bankrupt and everyone is blaming the problems on the Unions. This is bad news for retirees who were counting on their "lavish" pensions that average $19,000.
On the show to tell Stephen about how Detroit is going to survive was Stephen Henderson of the Detroit Free Press. He is optimistic. Stephen Colbert suggested everyone in Detroit get malaria so that Bill Gates would come in and save the town. You probably know that everyone is suggesting that the Detroit Institute of Arts sell off its treasures. Stephen Henderson is not a fan of that because, well all those things are treasures of Detroit. Stephen Colbert believes manufacturing is a thing of the past in Detroit. Stephen Henderson believes manufacturing is a thing of the future in Detroit.
Steve King (is everything tonight about Stephens and Stevens?) is fond of saying all sorts of things. Recently he claimed that young illegals weigh 130 pounds, have calves like cantaloupes and are hauling drugs across the desert.
He also recently compared immigrants to dogs, according to some people. Friend of the show and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos recently asked Steve King about his comments. No no no no. Jorge Ramos had it all wrong. Steve King was "celebrating" legal immigrants with his comments.
It's easy to understand. For example, Stephen called Steve King a tool. That is a compliment. A tool is a useful implement.No need for Steven King to be offended by that.
Senator Olympia Snowe was on the show as the guest. I think she was scheduled to be on earlier this year but things happened and she was not on until now. She is a rare creature, a moderate Republican. She brought diversity to the Republican party, i.e. political diversity. They both agreed that many moderate Republicans are in the closet. She has a book out, "Fighting For Common Ground - How We Can Fix the Stalemate In Congress."
Stephen handed her a challenge. "Getting something done. Sell me on it."
Whoa! Then Stephen threw some challenging stuff at her. John Boehner recently said that the job of Congress is not to pass laws, it's to repeal them. Mitch McConnell had as a goal making Barack Obama a one-term president. Neither man said anything about getting something done.
Stephen and Olympia Snowe disagreed further. She thinks the purpose of being in public office is to get something done. He thinks the purpose is of being in public office is to stay in public office.
(As if that isn't enough to disagree on, she doesn't think Stephen should have been able to have a Super PAC)
Even tougher question for her, considering how important it is to her to get something done - "Why did you leave the Senate?"
"Because the polarization wasn't going to diminish, and I wanted to take my fight outside of the Senate."
(Be sure to go to that link about Olympia Snowe. You can see a photo of the huge snowman built in her honor. Just scroll down the page a bit.)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
A Boy Named Sue
Yes, Stephen did mention the Royal Baby's new name, George Alexander Louis (or GAL for short as I like to point out). He also explained the inspiration for the name. It's Seinfeld! Who would have thought? George from George Constanza, Alexander from Jason Alexander who played George Costanza and Louis from Julia Louis-Dreyfuss who played Elaine. He also compared the basic premise of Seinfeld, a show about nothing, to the British Monarchy. It makes perfect sense when he explains the rationale behind the naming convention.
The next news tidbit that Stephen went on about in great length was about he who must not be mentioned. Okay, what I mean by that is that you would have to be living in a cave not to know what story Stephen was talking about. I'll just say this. You (he who must not be mentioned) need to think of your young son. It's not as if you named him Sue, but still, he will have a lot of baggage to carry around with that last name. You are just making it worse for him, so stop it. Or at least, just take pictures of your feet or knees or ears. Enough said.
Kanye West has a clothing line and it is exciting. Hurry to your nearest store and get the Kanye West clothes that you have always wanted. For example, you might want to get the T-Shirt for $120. It's white, has ribbing at the neck and short sleeves. Only problem is it's sold out already. There is a solution. Buy some Tube Socks from Stephen for only $75 a package. And if that's not enticing enough for you, Stephen is having a Hip Hop Yard Sale this weekend. You can get some used VHS tapes, a Hip Hop spatula, coloring books, computer cables, and a Hip Hop Croquet Set.
Education. Anant Agarwal, Professor at M.I.T., was Stephen's guest tonight. He is the President of edX. The two men talked about education, about getting a great education at great universities by taking online courses for free. Stephen has a problem with that, kind of similar to the old "milk for free so why buy the cow" scenario. Anant Agarwal is a firm believer in free education. He says it will make the world a better place. But he had Stephen somewhat confused. Anant Agarwal said the students learn from each other and the teachers learn from the students. Stephen has a bit of a worry about becoming obsolete. He was assured that it will be better and that we are all learners, we are all teachers.
Here's the link to edX homepage or you can take a look here at some of the courses. The include Aerodynamics, Biology, Energy, and even a Demo course about edX.
The next news tidbit that Stephen went on about in great length was about he who must not be mentioned. Okay, what I mean by that is that you would have to be living in a cave not to know what story Stephen was talking about. I'll just say this. You (he who must not be mentioned) need to think of your young son. It's not as if you named him Sue, but still, he will have a lot of baggage to carry around with that last name. You are just making it worse for him, so stop it. Or at least, just take pictures of your feet or knees or ears. Enough said.
Kanye West has a clothing line and it is exciting. Hurry to your nearest store and get the Kanye West clothes that you have always wanted. For example, you might want to get the T-Shirt for $120. It's white, has ribbing at the neck and short sleeves. Only problem is it's sold out already. There is a solution. Buy some Tube Socks from Stephen for only $75 a package. And if that's not enticing enough for you, Stephen is having a Hip Hop Yard Sale this weekend. You can get some used VHS tapes, a Hip Hop spatula, coloring books, computer cables, and a Hip Hop Croquet Set.
Education. Anant Agarwal, Professor at M.I.T., was Stephen's guest tonight. He is the President of edX. The two men talked about education, about getting a great education at great universities by taking online courses for free. Stephen has a problem with that, kind of similar to the old "milk for free so why buy the cow" scenario. Anant Agarwal is a firm believer in free education. He says it will make the world a better place. But he had Stephen somewhat confused. Anant Agarwal said the students learn from each other and the teachers learn from the students. Stephen has a bit of a worry about becoming obsolete. He was assured that it will be better and that we are all learners, we are all teachers.
Here's the link to edX homepage or you can take a look here at some of the courses. The include Aerodynamics, Biology, Energy, and even a Demo course about edX.
George Alexander Louis
George Alexander Louis. That's the baby's name. They had three opportunities to name the Royal Baby "Stephen" and they passed on all three chances. It could have been Stephen George Alexander, or George Alexander Stephen or Louis Stephen George.
Many of those names have already been used. Indeed, when he is King, he will be George VII. I suppose even if we started a petition to rename the baby Stephen, it probably wouldn't make a difference now. And if they would have had a contest in England, what if he ended up being Harry Potter? Oh, well. I guess it's true what they say that the parents get to choose the baby's name.
So, he will now be known as His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge or GAL for short.
Many of those names have already been used. Indeed, when he is King, he will be George VII. I suppose even if we started a petition to rename the baby Stephen, it probably wouldn't make a difference now. And if they would have had a contest in England, what if he ended up being Harry Potter? Oh, well. I guess it's true what they say that the parents get to choose the baby's name.
So, he will now be known as His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge or GAL for short.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The Prince of Wails
Sir Stephen Colbert Presents
Royal Afterbirth
Labour Party
Fetal Attraction
Birthing-Hips Hip Hoorah
The Prince of Wails
Spotted Dick, It's A boy!
'013!
Well now there's no time left to say much more than the Royal Baby was born and we still don't know his name. I'm sure that news will be reported everywhere when we know and of course it will be reported here also.
In The Word we learned that we are in a Color-bind and probably the obvious way to overcome our racial inequalities is for black people to become Senators. That sounds like a good idea. It worked out well for Barack Obama.
You might think drones are a bad thing, but do you like pizza? Someday you may (or may not) be able to get your Domino's Pizza delivered via a drone. Is it practical you ask. No, probably not. What are the ramifications of having a pizza delivered that way? Stephen showed us by letting us watch his dream while it was happening. It was a wonderful idea up until a certain point when his dream turned into a nightmare. Even now, we can't be sure if Stephen is awake yet and if he has recovered from the scary outcome of the pizza drone delivering for Stephen.
Kenneth Goldsmith was the guest tonight. You know how sometimes Stephen just looks so handsome in his suit? Well Kenneth Goldsmith took the honors tonight. A pink suit, pink and white striped shirt, one red sock, one green sock, black and white saddle shoes, black and white striped bow tie and a straw hat meant that he outshone Stephen in the fashion department.
Kenneth Goldsmith is Poet Laureate for MoMA. The two well-dressed men talked about his book, "Seven American Deaths and Disasters" which he didn't write, and yet he takes credit for it. The talk was fascinating but Stephen did mention that "It feels Vampiric."
Royal Afterbirth
Labour Party
Fetal Attraction
Birthing-Hips Hip Hoorah
The Prince of Wails
Spotted Dick, It's A boy!
'013!
Well now there's no time left to say much more than the Royal Baby was born and we still don't know his name. I'm sure that news will be reported everywhere when we know and of course it will be reported here also.
In The Word we learned that we are in a Color-bind and probably the obvious way to overcome our racial inequalities is for black people to become Senators. That sounds like a good idea. It worked out well for Barack Obama.
You might think drones are a bad thing, but do you like pizza? Someday you may (or may not) be able to get your Domino's Pizza delivered via a drone. Is it practical you ask. No, probably not. What are the ramifications of having a pizza delivered that way? Stephen showed us by letting us watch his dream while it was happening. It was a wonderful idea up until a certain point when his dream turned into a nightmare. Even now, we can't be sure if Stephen is awake yet and if he has recovered from the scary outcome of the pizza drone delivering for Stephen.
Kenneth Goldsmith was the guest tonight. You know how sometimes Stephen just looks so handsome in his suit? Well Kenneth Goldsmith took the honors tonight. A pink suit, pink and white striped shirt, one red sock, one green sock, black and white saddle shoes, black and white striped bow tie and a straw hat meant that he outshone Stephen in the fashion department.
Kenneth Goldsmith is Poet Laureate for MoMA. The two well-dressed men talked about his book, "Seven American Deaths and Disasters" which he didn't write, and yet he takes credit for it. The talk was fascinating but Stephen did mention that "It feels Vampiric."
Naked 50 Year-Old Man
Stephen did report that the Royal Baby has been born. The baby has no name yet, so I'll just call him Baby Stephen. There will be team coverage on this story Tuesday night probably dependent on whether or not Stephen can actually find a team to cover the story.
In other news, friend of the show Helen Thomas died. She was a ground-breaking journalist and likely influenced many other journalists, including ours truly, Stephen Colbert. Geraldo Rivera had to get in on the news cycle and I found this photo and also this one. (Now I understand what I saw on the Daily Show with that photo of Jon Stewart.)
Stephen talked about the evils of minimum wage and even mentioned Charles Koch when talking about the subject of paying workers. McDonald's is concerned about their workers and has a great idea. The workers, their employees, need to develop a budget and thus there won't need to be all this talk about minimum wage, in that there won't be a need to raise the minimum wage. I found a little bit about the budget here at Consumerist and they pointed out, as Stephen did, that there was no money to spend on heat. One other thing, you need to work 2 jobs in order to make the budget work.
There were a few things I wondered about when looking at the budget journal. If I ride my bike to McDonald's, is there a bike rack for me to lock it to? And for all the other employees' bikes? How much money do I need to save for my goal of going to college? And how old will I be when I have saved enough? One of the tips for being good with my money is to shop with a list so that I can save money. If I shop with two lists, will I save twice as much money? In the Frequently Asked Questions section, are those really the kind of questions that are frequently asked? I would have asked "What am I going to do if I break my leg at work? How much money should I plan on spending on a computer and Internet service so that I can look at the website? If I'm working two jobs, when am I going to find time to budget?"
Neil deGrasse Tyson was not on the show, but Stephen mocked his mocking of intelligent life on Earth. Some people wonder why we haven't been contacted by aliens yet. Neil deGrasse Tyson suggests that perhaps we have been observed and the aliens decided there was no intelligent life on Earth. Well that really got Stephen going and the logical conclusion to all of this ended up being a special relationship that Stephen has with a piece of Linguine.
The guest last night was Kjerstin Gruys and she looked marvelous. I had to say that because it's possible she didn't check herself in a mirror before she came on the show. She has a book out now. "Mirror Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year." It took her a year to write that book, obviously. I mean it says "Year" right there in the title. But it probably would have taken less time if the title had been shorter. Anyway... she talked with Stephen about mirrors and self-image and planning a wedding. Stephen added constructive advice.
It got me to thinking. What would it be like to go a year without looking in a mirror. You ask your friend, "Do I have any broccoli in my teeth?" Your friend smiles to himself, tells you No, and then wishes you good luck on your job interview. And of course you do have broccoli in your teeth and so you don't get the job and you have to work at McDonald's and now you have to revise your budget.
Note: This is the updated version of my post. So, those of you who read it shortly after midnight, now there is more to read. Of course, if you thought you had read it all and didn't come back later and read this, you aren't going to know I updated it. Never mind.
In other news, friend of the show Helen Thomas died. She was a ground-breaking journalist and likely influenced many other journalists, including ours truly, Stephen Colbert. Geraldo Rivera had to get in on the news cycle and I found this photo and also this one. (Now I understand what I saw on the Daily Show with that photo of Jon Stewart.)
Stephen talked about the evils of minimum wage and even mentioned Charles Koch when talking about the subject of paying workers. McDonald's is concerned about their workers and has a great idea. The workers, their employees, need to develop a budget and thus there won't need to be all this talk about minimum wage, in that there won't be a need to raise the minimum wage. I found a little bit about the budget here at Consumerist and they pointed out, as Stephen did, that there was no money to spend on heat. One other thing, you need to work 2 jobs in order to make the budget work.
There were a few things I wondered about when looking at the budget journal. If I ride my bike to McDonald's, is there a bike rack for me to lock it to? And for all the other employees' bikes? How much money do I need to save for my goal of going to college? And how old will I be when I have saved enough? One of the tips for being good with my money is to shop with a list so that I can save money. If I shop with two lists, will I save twice as much money? In the Frequently Asked Questions section, are those really the kind of questions that are frequently asked? I would have asked "What am I going to do if I break my leg at work? How much money should I plan on spending on a computer and Internet service so that I can look at the website? If I'm working two jobs, when am I going to find time to budget?"
Neil deGrasse Tyson was not on the show, but Stephen mocked his mocking of intelligent life on Earth. Some people wonder why we haven't been contacted by aliens yet. Neil deGrasse Tyson suggests that perhaps we have been observed and the aliens decided there was no intelligent life on Earth. Well that really got Stephen going and the logical conclusion to all of this ended up being a special relationship that Stephen has with a piece of Linguine.
The guest last night was Kjerstin Gruys and she looked marvelous. I had to say that because it's possible she didn't check herself in a mirror before she came on the show. She has a book out now. "Mirror Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year." It took her a year to write that book, obviously. I mean it says "Year" right there in the title. But it probably would have taken less time if the title had been shorter. Anyway... she talked with Stephen about mirrors and self-image and planning a wedding. Stephen added constructive advice.
It got me to thinking. What would it be like to go a year without looking in a mirror. You ask your friend, "Do I have any broccoli in my teeth?" Your friend smiles to himself, tells you No, and then wishes you good luck on your job interview. And of course you do have broccoli in your teeth and so you don't get the job and you have to work at McDonald's and now you have to revise your budget.
Note: This is the updated version of my post. So, those of you who read it shortly after midnight, now there is more to read. Of course, if you thought you had read it all and didn't come back later and read this, you aren't going to know I updated it. Never mind.
Monday, July 22, 2013
It's A Baby Boy
Finally, and I only wish I had stayed in England a little bit longer. Anyway, it's a Royal Baby Boy. I'm wondering if his name will be Stephen. Here's hoping.
Okay, this next part is only speculation. Will we see a Town Crier dressed in royal red clothes ringing a bell for tonight's show? It is a possibility, although someone would have to really scramble to get the appropriate costume. And yet, it almost seems like Stephen might have a town crier suit in his closet. Not that he is outspoken or opinionated. I'm just saying.
Okay, this next part is only speculation. Will we see a Town Crier dressed in royal red clothes ringing a bell for tonight's show? It is a possibility, although someone would have to really scramble to get the appropriate costume. And yet, it almost seems like Stephen might have a town crier suit in his closet. Not that he is outspoken or opinionated. I'm just saying.
Friday, July 19, 2013
No Baby Yet
Just about the time I finally decide to pack up and head back across the pond, it looks like the Royal Baby will show up soon. I spent all that time in England waiting for baby news and the baby didn't show up. I should have stayed just a little bit longer.
What this means is that I missed out on lots of episodes of the The Colbert Report and it will take monumental effort on my part to get caught up on posting. Whew, it will be a labor of love, but I will give it my best. Soon.
What this means is that I missed out on lots of episodes of the The Colbert Report and it will take monumental effort on my part to get caught up on posting. Whew, it will be a labor of love, but I will give it my best. Soon.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
You're Here, You're Clear
Now I'm home and Stephen is on a two week break. That's okay, it gives me a chance to get caught up. Too bad I wasn't paying more attention when I was over in Moscow. It seems that Edward Snowden was or is at the Moscow airport. It would have been great to get a few photos of him, maybe get an interview that I could post here. I guess the airport is just too big and it's hard to keep track of everyone who is there.
Anyway, Stephen was concerned about the whereabouts of Edward Snowden and just a bit confused about what he looks like. For a short time, he was ready to believe that Jay the Intern was in reality Edward the Snowden (i.e. a white guy with glasses). Until Jay the Intern pointed out to Stephen that first of all, "No, I'm Jay," and secondly that he (Stephen) was also a white guy with glasses. Quick thinking, Jay.
In news that's happening, the Tea Party is unhappy. I should clarify since no one seems to know exactly what or who the Tea Party is. A bunch of people showed up to vent anger, and considering the amount of hot dogs and beans being eaten, to vent a lot of other stuff. They are mad at the IRS. Luckily, Michele Bachmann was there to tell them, "You're Here. And you're Clear. With your message." Stephen added that "if you happen to be queer my husband runs a camp that can cure you with Jesus."
Darrell Issa, apparently one of the richest Congressmen as evidenced by all the extra letters in his name, is one of the people heading the charge for the Tea Party. He investigations showed that, "Certain things are true." Elijah Cummings released all pertinent information which is not what Darrell Issa wanted done. He only wanted the truth, but then Elijah Cummings had to go and release the whole truth. Darn. That showed that it was a conservative Republican at the IRS looking into the Tea Party.
Stephen, as you all know, invented truthiness. Now, with the help of a human centipede, he has invented truthinews. Simply put, the media ask the vast audience out there in TV Land or Radio Land or Internet Land what they think they know, then the media reports it back to them. It's great. For example, Bill O'Reilly has found out that 75% of the people who believe it's a good idea to watch his show, believe what he tells them. I can't help but think that number should be higher. Why would you watch the Factor if you thought it didn't have the appropriate amount of truthiness? For the comedic relief???
Andrew Solomon was the guest on Stephen's show way back on, when was that (?), June 24. Both Stephen and Andrew paid attention to the calendar and dressed appropriately for "Light Blue Shirt Yellow Tie Day." They discussed Andrew Solomon's newest book, "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity." And I know I say this about a lot of books, but this one really does seem very interesting. So, yes, go out and buy it. It's not Tek Jansen, but I think you will find it a good read just the same.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Much Ado About Lots of Things
Next was a small piece about Steve King. No, not Stephen King the guy who writes scary stuff. Steve King who is tired of chickens being able to stretch their legs.
Next in this apparent parade of scary dudes was Peter Brabeck who thinks that water should have a price on it so that people value it. This is great because he's at the head of Nestle and they have all kinds of bottle water that they sell. (Hey people, just go to the faucet, turn it on, and drink that water. It is so, so, so much cheaper and you're not adding to the pile of plastic water bottles everywhere. But, back to the show.)
Stephen's guest was Joss Whedon. He's now doing Shakespeare and it just might be quite popular. Stephen showed a clip from "Much Ado About Nothing" and it was quite funny in a Mr. Bean sort of way! So I think you should go see it. You can get culture and comedy at the same time.
So, a short posting, but I do want to point out how everything is connected. The first three news makers are of course controversial. The photo of Joss Whedon on that Wikipedia page shows that he has some bottled water sitting by him. Not sure of the brand, but still, it's a bottle of water. No judgement there, often people are provided bottled water when they are sitting at a table for interviews. And Shakespeare and Mr. Bean live in the same country, not all that far from Switzerland which is where Nestle's is located.
My hope is that soon Stephen will have William Shakespeare on the show to talk about how he originally planned "Much Ado About Nothing" to be filmed. It would be nice to get his perspective on that, just for some comparison and contrast.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Horatio Magellan Crunch
Stephen gave a touching tribute to his mother, Lorna. She was a special woman. We all can know her just a little bit by looking at Stephen.
But, now on with the show.
There is a scandal that has rocked the country. It couldn't have come at a worse time. Cap'n Crunch claims to be a Captain, but his uniform, more specifically the three stripes at the bottom of his sleeve, indicates he is merely a Commander. Will this cause a boycott of the cereal that he created? I doubt it. Like most scandals, there's not necessarily as much to the story as you might think.
If you Google "Horatio Magellan Crunch" and then look at Images, you will see that not only are there images of him with those three stripes, but also with two stripes and even one stripe. I am confident this is simply a case of photos being used of the Captain that are from a few years earlier when the Captain was more youthful looking. Or, you can go with his explanation that it's the crunch that make the man. His ship is the S.S. Guppy and he's the boss of that, so ipso facto, he's a Captain.
Houses are being flipped again. North Carolinians who don't buy gas for their cars are still going to have to pay a gas tax of sorts. Smoking is down and that means not as much income from cigarette tax and therefore not as much money to fight cancer. So, as is often the case, just when you think you have everything figured out, something happens to completely mess it up.
Last night's guest was The Postal Service. Not this Postal Service, but this Postal Service. After a very lively interview which even included a plug for Toys R Us, not to mention a comparison to the actual Postal Service, they performed "Such Great Heights." And as often happens, there is a bonus song, "A Tattered Line of String," over at Colbert Nation.
But, now on with the show.
There is a scandal that has rocked the country. It couldn't have come at a worse time. Cap'n Crunch claims to be a Captain, but his uniform, more specifically the three stripes at the bottom of his sleeve, indicates he is merely a Commander. Will this cause a boycott of the cereal that he created? I doubt it. Like most scandals, there's not necessarily as much to the story as you might think.
If you Google "Horatio Magellan Crunch" and then look at Images, you will see that not only are there images of him with those three stripes, but also with two stripes and even one stripe. I am confident this is simply a case of photos being used of the Captain that are from a few years earlier when the Captain was more youthful looking. Or, you can go with his explanation that it's the crunch that make the man. His ship is the S.S. Guppy and he's the boss of that, so ipso facto, he's a Captain.
Houses are being flipped again. North Carolinians who don't buy gas for their cars are still going to have to pay a gas tax of sorts. Smoking is down and that means not as much income from cigarette tax and therefore not as much money to fight cancer. So, as is often the case, just when you think you have everything figured out, something happens to completely mess it up.
Last night's guest was The Postal Service. Not this Postal Service, but this Postal Service. After a very lively interview which even included a plug for Toys R Us, not to mention a comparison to the actual Postal Service, they performed "Such Great Heights." And as often happens, there is a bonus song, "A Tattered Line of String," over at Colbert Nation.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Paul McCartney
In case you are somehow unaware of what's happening in the world, Paul McCartney was the guest on The Colbert Report last night. I learned many things. Stephen considers himself to be one of the Beatles, at least in his own mind. Paul McCartney was very relaxed about being on the show and although Stephen has certain rigid rules and guidelines, he waived them all for Paul. Stephen shared a brief history of Paul McCartney's musical career, albeit somewhat different from how the history books tell it. One reason the Beatles decided to stop performing was that no one could hear their music when they performed.
Last night's show was so good, you just have to go watch it over at Colbert Nation. You know you deserve to be serenaded. And if it's your birthday, then for sure go listen to Paul McCartney sing to you. One thing about Paul McCartney that is so refreshing. He always is just thrilled to be playing music for the audience. As famous as he is, as talented as he is, he never is reluctant to give his all for his audience. There's only one other person in the world with that kind of humbleness and enthusiasm. I am of course talking about Stephen Colbert.
So stop reading what I'm writing and listen to Sir Paul or go buy a few of his CDs. You will be glad you did.
Last night's show was so good, you just have to go watch it over at Colbert Nation. You know you deserve to be serenaded. And if it's your birthday, then for sure go listen to Paul McCartney sing to you. One thing about Paul McCartney that is so refreshing. He always is just thrilled to be playing music for the audience. As famous as he is, as talented as he is, he never is reluctant to give his all for his audience. There's only one other person in the world with that kind of humbleness and enthusiasm. I am of course talking about Stephen Colbert.
So stop reading what I'm writing and listen to Sir Paul or go buy a few of his CDs. You will be glad you did.
Hello Handsome!
After last night's show, I was almost positive that Stephen would have Edward Snowden on. If not as the guest, at least as the pre-guest. That was not to be. Instead Stephen talked more about NSA and how everyone is concerned about who knows what and when they knew it and what they will do with it. There was a little bit about Prism and about NSA data mining with companies such as Microsoft, Yahoo!, paltalk, Google, Skye, YouTube, facebook and AOL. Well, all those companies are dealing in data, right?
People are concerned and yet I would ask them, did you read any of those User Agreements or did you just check "I Agree?" It only takes a few hours to read the User Agreements, so no reason you couldn't have done that. And when you're buying something in the store and the cashier asks, "Will that be all?" do you say yes? And when the cashier asks what your phone number is, do you tell her???? Aha, I thought so. You willingly give out that information. So, as Stephen said, I'm okay with that. (I just typed "I'm okay with that," into Google search box, so I'm good to go.)
However, there is something that does concern me. I have learned through some channels, that I won't disclose here, some disturbing features over at Google. I innocently typed "do a barrel roll" into the Google search box and nearly fell out of my chair. Then I typed "askew" into the Google search box and felt like something was just a little bit off with my computer. So, I think Stephen is right to report on this turn of events even if he's okay with it. Only thing I'm not comfortable with is Googling those terms that Stephen Googled.
Enough about the NSA and all that data. It's old news in that Stephen told us it has been going on since 2006. And he showed us that there are other, older ways to communicate with your friends. Oh, and Stephen had an expert, Jeffrey Rosen, President, The National Constitution Center, on to put Stephen's mind at rest. Whew.
Daniel Bergner visited the show and talked with Stephen about his new book, "What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire." It seemed like an interesting topic. Only problem is we all know what women want. They want Stephen. That's science. And while Daniel Bergner had some interesting thoughts to share with us, the interview too quickly evolved into a discussion about monkeys.
It seemed somewhat amusing to me that the whole show seemed to be about surveillance. I'm for sure not going to go into details, but even Daniel Bergner talked about various surveillance devices.
People are concerned and yet I would ask them, did you read any of those User Agreements or did you just check "I Agree?" It only takes a few hours to read the User Agreements, so no reason you couldn't have done that. And when you're buying something in the store and the cashier asks, "Will that be all?" do you say yes? And when the cashier asks what your phone number is, do you tell her???? Aha, I thought so. You willingly give out that information. So, as Stephen said, I'm okay with that. (I just typed "I'm okay with that," into Google search box, so I'm good to go.)
However, there is something that does concern me. I have learned through some channels, that I won't disclose here, some disturbing features over at Google. I innocently typed "do a barrel roll" into the Google search box and nearly fell out of my chair. Then I typed "askew" into the Google search box and felt like something was just a little bit off with my computer. So, I think Stephen is right to report on this turn of events even if he's okay with it. Only thing I'm not comfortable with is Googling those terms that Stephen Googled.
Enough about the NSA and all that data. It's old news in that Stephen told us it has been going on since 2006. And he showed us that there are other, older ways to communicate with your friends. Oh, and Stephen had an expert, Jeffrey Rosen, President, The National Constitution Center, on to put Stephen's mind at rest. Whew.
Daniel Bergner visited the show and talked with Stephen about his new book, "What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire." It seemed like an interesting topic. Only problem is we all know what women want. They want Stephen. That's science. And while Daniel Bergner had some interesting thoughts to share with us, the interview too quickly evolved into a discussion about monkeys.
It seemed somewhat amusing to me that the whole show seemed to be about surveillance. I'm for sure not going to go into details, but even Daniel Bergner talked about various surveillance devices.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Don't You Dare Clap!
Stephen talked some about Edward Snowden and NSA and the inventor of the Clapper, John Clapper. He promises there will be more about this tomorrow, so it must be really big. Currently, Snowden is in Hong Kong.
Bigger than that though is the revelation that Jon Stewart, host of the Daily Show, headed to Jordan to direct a "serious movie" (Stephen's air quotes). He was replaced by a foreigner - from England.
Speaking of the Middle East, The Imploding Muslim Country of the Week Booth was in the studio. Stephen stepped in, Jimmy started up the fans so that the slips of paper, each with a different Middle Eastern country, could swirl around colorfully, and after only about 10 minutes, Stephen was able to catch one slip of paper. Tonight's country??? Turkey! It only took Stephen another minute to get the door open and head back to his desk.
In Turkey, conservative Recep Tayyip Erdogan has declared that women should have at least three children, that there should be single-sex beaches, and that there should be new regulations on the sale of alcohol. Omer Taspinar, of the Brookings Institute, joined Stephen to help make it all clear for him.
At long last, Stephen had a Cold War Update. I think the people who are griping about their jobs as missile launchers are going to move to being FOX correspondents. To help them make the transition, Stephen introduced his new video game. Sounds like lots of fun: Call of Duty: Padded Chair. Seems like it needs some work to make it more, um, versatile. Stephen pretty much ended the game within a minute.
Stephen's guest was Dan Savage. His new book is called "American Savage - Insights, Slights and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love and Politics." Soon the Supreme Court will be handing down decisions. One is about DOMA, the other is about California. They got into heated, well not heated, but warm debate about marriage. Both are married, but Stephen feels that he is more married than Dan. The show seemed longer than usual, but I think that's because both men were talking at the same time, so twice as much content. Dan Savage said he wants equal rights not a double standard.
Bigger than that though is the revelation that Jon Stewart, host of the Daily Show, headed to Jordan to direct a "serious movie" (Stephen's air quotes). He was replaced by a foreigner - from England.
Speaking of the Middle East, The Imploding Muslim Country of the Week Booth was in the studio. Stephen stepped in, Jimmy started up the fans so that the slips of paper, each with a different Middle Eastern country, could swirl around colorfully, and after only about 10 minutes, Stephen was able to catch one slip of paper. Tonight's country??? Turkey! It only took Stephen another minute to get the door open and head back to his desk.
In Turkey, conservative Recep Tayyip Erdogan has declared that women should have at least three children, that there should be single-sex beaches, and that there should be new regulations on the sale of alcohol. Omer Taspinar, of the Brookings Institute, joined Stephen to help make it all clear for him.
At long last, Stephen had a Cold War Update. I think the people who are griping about their jobs as missile launchers are going to move to being FOX correspondents. To help them make the transition, Stephen introduced his new video game. Sounds like lots of fun: Call of Duty: Padded Chair. Seems like it needs some work to make it more, um, versatile. Stephen pretty much ended the game within a minute.
Stephen's guest was Dan Savage. His new book is called "American Savage - Insights, Slights and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love and Politics." Soon the Supreme Court will be handing down decisions. One is about DOMA, the other is about California. They got into heated, well not heated, but warm debate about marriage. Both are married, but Stephen feels that he is more married than Dan. The show seemed longer than usual, but I think that's because both men were talking at the same time, so twice as much content. Dan Savage said he wants equal rights not a double standard.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Upbeat Summertime Fun Songs
Interesting night to say the least. Not what I expected. Stephen learned how to become a spy. And an unusual melange of people.
Stephen dusted off some old episodes, or headed into the classics closet, or as he put it, showed a Colbert Classic.
Stephen went to the International Spy Museum. Luckily, it is located in Washington D.C., so no international flights needed to get to that destination. He chatted with Peter Earnest, a retired spy, and learned the Rules for Spies.
1. Don't assume anything.
2. Be prepared to take risks.
3. Carry out a covert mission.
Peter Earnest was an, actual, real spy, no joke. He even has a coveted merit medal, so called because Stephen coveted that medal. While Peter Earnest claims to have not killed anyone, Stephen put him down for seven people, which seemed about par.
There were fascinating artifacts that we got to see in the Museum - a Tie Camera, a Rectal Toolkit, a Tobacco Pipe Pistol, and a Rectal Concealment Device for a Cyanide Pill.In the end, it was becoming too rectal for Stephen, and after stealing the medal, he exited the Museum. If you don't have time to go to the actual International Spy Museum, you can go to that link and go on a virtual tour. You can also do some shopping for spy type stuff. You know there is someone special to you that really needs some spy gifts, right?
The melange of people included John Mellencamp, Stephen King, and T Bone Burnett. They talked about their collaboration, "Ghost Brothers of Darkland County." If John Mellencamp ever invites you to his cabin, I'd suggest that you take a rain check on that experience. The cabin has a bit of a history.
We did not get to hear any music, but if you go over to Colbert Nation, you can click on the link to listen to John Mellencamp, or just click this link to hear the song "Truth." Nice, very nice.
Stephen dusted off some old episodes, or headed into the classics closet, or as he put it, showed a Colbert Classic.
Stephen went to the International Spy Museum. Luckily, it is located in Washington D.C., so no international flights needed to get to that destination. He chatted with Peter Earnest, a retired spy, and learned the Rules for Spies.
1. Don't assume anything.
2. Be prepared to take risks.
3. Carry out a covert mission.
Peter Earnest was an, actual, real spy, no joke. He even has a coveted merit medal, so called because Stephen coveted that medal. While Peter Earnest claims to have not killed anyone, Stephen put him down for seven people, which seemed about par.
There were fascinating artifacts that we got to see in the Museum - a Tie Camera, a Rectal Toolkit, a Tobacco Pipe Pistol, and a Rectal Concealment Device for a Cyanide Pill.In the end, it was becoming too rectal for Stephen, and after stealing the medal, he exited the Museum. If you don't have time to go to the actual International Spy Museum, you can go to that link and go on a virtual tour. You can also do some shopping for spy type stuff. You know there is someone special to you that really needs some spy gifts, right?
The melange of people included John Mellencamp, Stephen King, and T Bone Burnett. They talked about their collaboration, "Ghost Brothers of Darkland County." If John Mellencamp ever invites you to his cabin, I'd suggest that you take a rain check on that experience. The cabin has a bit of a history.
We did not get to hear any music, but if you go over to Colbert Nation, you can click on the link to listen to John Mellencamp, or just click this link to hear the song "Truth." Nice, very nice.
Fortress of Solitude
Great Caesar's Ghost!!!!! Stephen has his undies in a bunch. Who can blame him? The current movie version of Superman - Man of Steel - isn't the same as what he remembers from his boyhood days. Superman isn't wearing the required red underwear.
Stephen, styles change. This seems to be a recurring gripe of his. First he was crowing about The Lone Ranger, now he's flying off the handle about Superman. There are more important things to worry about. Such as wheat.
Wheat? Yes, wheat. Monsanto created some genetically modified wheat that was not supposed to be planted and grown commercially. But, it was found growing in a farmer's field in Oregon. How could this happen? The wheat was not to be used, had to be destroyed, and so it was buried in the middle of a field. The whole problem with this is that foreign countries are not going to buy wheat like this. And to be sure they don't get any of that "frankengrain" they just aren't buying any wheat from United States farmers in any states at all. Okay, that's a problem. Stephen had Laurie Garrett, Senior Fellow, Council on Foreign Relations, on the show to talk about this grainy problem. She told Stephen that Monsanto says it could have been sabotage that got these super wheat seeds out in the rural world.
Besides the problem of no one wanting our wheat is the problem with the weeds growing in the wheat field. At some time, I'm thinking late at night, the weeds take on characteristics of the wheat via gene sharing. That means that the weeds have become super weeds and weed killer won't kill the weeds. Laurie Garrett told Stephen that there is probably not a threat to humans with what many are calling "zombie wheat" although Stephen is concerned about the return of the walking bread.
There is this problem that the wheat is a super wheat and isn't killed even by the baddest of the bad boy weed killers. No problem, just make a stronger weed killer and hope that no one makes a badder, stronger genetically modified wheat. If they do, then amp up the weed killer again. Another option - Krypton. No one else has thought of this, as far as I know.
Also of note is that the Stephen and Laurie Garrett discussed the Farmer Assurance Provision which makes it illegal to sue over issues about Genetically Modified Crops. Good timing!
Stephen welcomed Jonathan Alter to the show to talk about his recent book, "The Center Holds - Obama and His Enemies." Jonathan honored Stephen by comparing him to Paul Ryan. Stephen agreed, noting they both did the same exercise regimen. (I think Stephen does it better though, if we judge by the visible results.)
Stephen quizzed Jonathan Alter on how Barack Obama won the 2012 election. According to Jonathan Alter, part of it was the Geek Gap working in the Cave. A bunch of people worked to assist 2,000,000 volunteers who were working out in the field - knocking on doors, etc. I think a few emails were sent out also asking for donations. One thing Mitt Romney did was to use some of the people who had previously worked on Ronald Reagan's campaign. So, two different strategies - one outcome.
Stephen, styles change. This seems to be a recurring gripe of his. First he was crowing about The Lone Ranger, now he's flying off the handle about Superman. There are more important things to worry about. Such as wheat.
Wheat? Yes, wheat. Monsanto created some genetically modified wheat that was not supposed to be planted and grown commercially. But, it was found growing in a farmer's field in Oregon. How could this happen? The wheat was not to be used, had to be destroyed, and so it was buried in the middle of a field. The whole problem with this is that foreign countries are not going to buy wheat like this. And to be sure they don't get any of that "frankengrain" they just aren't buying any wheat from United States farmers in any states at all. Okay, that's a problem. Stephen had Laurie Garrett, Senior Fellow, Council on Foreign Relations, on the show to talk about this grainy problem. She told Stephen that Monsanto says it could have been sabotage that got these super wheat seeds out in the rural world.
Besides the problem of no one wanting our wheat is the problem with the weeds growing in the wheat field. At some time, I'm thinking late at night, the weeds take on characteristics of the wheat via gene sharing. That means that the weeds have become super weeds and weed killer won't kill the weeds. Laurie Garrett told Stephen that there is probably not a threat to humans with what many are calling "zombie wheat" although Stephen is concerned about the return of the walking bread.
There is this problem that the wheat is a super wheat and isn't killed even by the baddest of the bad boy weed killers. No problem, just make a stronger weed killer and hope that no one makes a badder, stronger genetically modified wheat. If they do, then amp up the weed killer again. Another option - Krypton. No one else has thought of this, as far as I know.
Also of note is that the Stephen and Laurie Garrett discussed the Farmer Assurance Provision which makes it illegal to sue over issues about Genetically Modified Crops. Good timing!
Stephen welcomed Jonathan Alter to the show to talk about his recent book, "The Center Holds - Obama and His Enemies." Jonathan honored Stephen by comparing him to Paul Ryan. Stephen agreed, noting they both did the same exercise regimen. (I think Stephen does it better though, if we judge by the visible results.)
Stephen quizzed Jonathan Alter on how Barack Obama won the 2012 election. According to Jonathan Alter, part of it was the Geek Gap working in the Cave. A bunch of people worked to assist 2,000,000 volunteers who were working out in the field - knocking on doors, etc. I think a few emails were sent out also asking for donations. One thing Mitt Romney did was to use some of the people who had previously worked on Ronald Reagan's campaign. So, two different strategies - one outcome.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Guy With a Dead Crow on His Head
Tuesday night we saw the Best Episode Ever on The Colbert Report. Oh, yeah, I know I've said that before. I guess it's because Stephen just gets better and better with age. Not that he's old, I didn't say that.
So anyway, he was sad, had a heavy heart because the Congresswoman from Minnesota's Valley of the Dolls, Michele Bachmann, announced she was not going to seek a 5th term in Congress. (Finally, I reported on something before Stephen did. yes!)
I wondered if she had filmed the video in Stephen's studio while he was gone, but no, Stephen said it was in a Sears Portrait Studio.
I did not know how Stephen would react to the resignation of one of the giants in the Conservative Movement. Perhaps resignation is not the right word since she will continue in Congress until her current term is up. We can all take solace in her drive and ambition to continue with her strong focus.
"I will continue to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against what Most in The Other Party want to do to transform our country into becoming."
And Stephen agreed with her. "Yes. We must fight those Most before our country is transformed into becoming," he said. "Stupid Most." Well, duh. Who doesn't agree with that?
In a touching tribute to Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Stephen looked fondly back on some of her Very Moments.
* Michele Bachmann and Marcus Bachmann dancing. She does like the twirling. And Marcus does love to twirl.
* "Planned Parenthood is a billion dollar a year entity. They want to become the Lens Crafter of Big Abortion."
* "It's a very sad life. It's Part of Satan, I think, to say that this is 'Gay'. It's anything but 'Gay' ... It leads to the personal enslavement of individuals because if you are involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it's bondage."
* "The very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States."
* "There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."
* "There isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas."
* "Our founders though taxation without representation was bad. What would they think of representation with taxation?"
* "I got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em. We got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em? We, we didn't know, we didn't know if you liked chocolate or vanilla."
She will be missed and Stephen kindly sent her two cupcakes. There was some confusion as to whether or not she got them.
Tip/Wag
Stephen knows it all. He had thought he might like some Google Glass, but unfortunately, some enhancements will not be available on the Google Glass. So, a Wag of his Finger to Google. He had more thoughts about this subject.
He also gave a Wag to The Lone Ranger, the current reboot. Back in the old days, you just didn't mess with a guy neatly dressed wearing a neck-kerchief. The Lone Ranger does not ever say his trademark Hi Ho Silver in this movie. And the Lone Ranger is not even the main character in The Lone Ranger.
Stephen did give a Tip of his Hat to 3-D Printed food. Yep, no longer to you have to have pizza delivered, you can print it on your own 3-D printer. Yum. There were some pros and some cons about this plan.
In a huge win for some guy with rhythm that we don't know, Stephen gave the famous The Colbert Bump to one of the famous IRS Dancers. Other guys just got a little air time for their troubles with the IRS. The beef Stephen has with the IRS is not that they dance or not that they only work one day a year on April 15. No, it's that they are not as efficient as they could be. It is a simple matter to work while you are dancing and Stephen did so to prove it. He is so light on his feet. If one of his guests ever failed to show up for an interview, I just know the studio audience and TV audience would be mesmerized by a segment of Stephen dancing. Move over Fred Astaire.
Stephen's guest last night was Academy Award-winning director, Alex Gibney. His new film is "We Steal Secrets - The Story of WikiLeaks." (Better send Jay the Intern into the Green Room to make sure no one stole the snacks and beverages.) Although on the one hand, Stephen was interested in what Alex Gibney had to say, on the other hand, he didn't want to hear any sensitive state secrets. I'm reluctant to report more on the interview because I feel like I would be giving away secrets of the interview.
So anyway, he was sad, had a heavy heart because the Congresswoman from Minnesota's Valley of the Dolls, Michele Bachmann, announced she was not going to seek a 5th term in Congress. (Finally, I reported on something before Stephen did. yes!)
I wondered if she had filmed the video in Stephen's studio while he was gone, but no, Stephen said it was in a Sears Portrait Studio.
I did not know how Stephen would react to the resignation of one of the giants in the Conservative Movement. Perhaps resignation is not the right word since she will continue in Congress until her current term is up. We can all take solace in her drive and ambition to continue with her strong focus.
"I will continue to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against what Most in The Other Party want to do to transform our country into becoming."
And Stephen agreed with her. "Yes. We must fight those Most before our country is transformed into becoming," he said. "Stupid Most." Well, duh. Who doesn't agree with that?
In a touching tribute to Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Stephen looked fondly back on some of her Very Moments.
* Michele Bachmann and Marcus Bachmann dancing. She does like the twirling. And Marcus does love to twirl.
* "Planned Parenthood is a billion dollar a year entity. They want to become the Lens Crafter of Big Abortion."
* "It's a very sad life. It's Part of Satan, I think, to say that this is 'Gay'. It's anything but 'Gay' ... It leads to the personal enslavement of individuals because if you are involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it's bondage."
* "The very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States."
* "There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."
* "There isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas."
* "Our founders though taxation without representation was bad. What would they think of representation with taxation?"
* "I got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em. We got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em? We, we didn't know, we didn't know if you liked chocolate or vanilla."
She will be missed and Stephen kindly sent her two cupcakes. There was some confusion as to whether or not she got them.
Tip/Wag
Stephen knows it all. He had thought he might like some Google Glass, but unfortunately, some enhancements will not be available on the Google Glass. So, a Wag of his Finger to Google. He had more thoughts about this subject.
He also gave a Wag to The Lone Ranger, the current reboot. Back in the old days, you just didn't mess with a guy neatly dressed wearing a neck-kerchief. The Lone Ranger does not ever say his trademark Hi Ho Silver in this movie. And the Lone Ranger is not even the main character in The Lone Ranger.
Stephen did give a Tip of his Hat to 3-D Printed food. Yep, no longer to you have to have pizza delivered, you can print it on your own 3-D printer. Yum. There were some pros and some cons about this plan.
In a huge win for some guy with rhythm that we don't know, Stephen gave the famous The Colbert Bump to one of the famous IRS Dancers. Other guys just got a little air time for their troubles with the IRS. The beef Stephen has with the IRS is not that they dance or not that they only work one day a year on April 15. No, it's that they are not as efficient as they could be. It is a simple matter to work while you are dancing and Stephen did so to prove it. He is so light on his feet. If one of his guests ever failed to show up for an interview, I just know the studio audience and TV audience would be mesmerized by a segment of Stephen dancing. Move over Fred Astaire.
Stephen's guest last night was Academy Award-winning director, Alex Gibney. His new film is "We Steal Secrets - The Story of WikiLeaks." (Better send Jay the Intern into the Green Room to make sure no one stole the snacks and beverages.) Although on the one hand, Stephen was interested in what Alex Gibney had to say, on the other hand, he didn't want to hear any sensitive state secrets. I'm reluctant to report more on the interview because I feel like I would be giving away secrets of the interview.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Compromise Is An Honorable Word
Stephen made a point of welcoming himself back to The Colbert Report. He admitted he watched his favorite show while he was on break - The Colbert Report. (He has good taste in TV.)
One of the nation's favorite segments on The Colbert Report is Better Know a District. I have only one question for Stephen. Why is this a 434 part series? There are 435 members of the House. After some extensive research, I found out that the number changes depending on many factors, including a guilty plea.
In the 71st Installment of his 434 part series, he had on Michigan freshman Representative Mark Pocan. He represents Wisconsin's fighting 2nd District which includes Madison and the Wisconsin Dells. I have never understood how logic works and after listening to Stephen interview Mark Pocan, I still don't understand logic. I'm assuming Stephen does because he asked so many logical questions and came to so many logical conclusions. Stephen had the Official 100 Days Cupcake with 100 candles for Mark Pocan to celebrate his first 100 days in Congress. One might wonder why the smoke detectors did not go off when Stephen lit the candles. Luckily they didn't go off and luckily, Mark Pocan was able to quickly extinguish the flames. I sure hope his wish came true.
While many interviewers ask questions of Congresspersons such as "What's your idea for creating more jobs?" or "What did you know and when did you know it?" Stephen gets to those pesky questions everyone really cares about. For example, "Did John Boehner cry when he swore you in?" and "Is it true you turned tricks (as a magician) to earn a living in your younger years?" and "What have you got against bear wrestling?"
With Stephen's popular Better Know a District, is there really any reason for book publishers to publish books about how our government works? Just let the high school kids watch BKAD to learn the neat stuff that is left out of civics textbooks.
As if that wasn't enough about Congress, Stephen's guest Monday night was Congressman John Dingell of Michigan. In just a few short days, namely on Friday, June 7, Representative John Dingell will become the longest serving member in Congress. You can read more about it here at ABC World News and even find out how many days that is. It was a fascinating interview as we learned about his long career and the many accomplishments of this son of a Congressman. (True fact!) For even more interesting stuff, read further on ABC World News here and find out what cost 25 Cents Per Gallon when he was elected.
Stephen was hungry for more information and John Dingell was happy to supply him with that knowledge. Although Stephen was a bit surprised, John Dingell explained how he became a Democrat. The 1964 Civil Rights Act is the law that he is most proud of. And he told a skeptical Stephen that Compromise is an honorable word. They ended the interview with a discussion of Hawaii. If you read about the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and consider that Hawaii was not always a state in the USA, you can see why Stephen Colbert holds John Dingell responsible for a lot of what is happening in our country now.
After hearing about all that Congressman John Dingell has done for our country, I think someone should give that man a cupcake.
One of the nation's favorite segments on The Colbert Report is Better Know a District. I have only one question for Stephen. Why is this a 434 part series? There are 435 members of the House. After some extensive research, I found out that the number changes depending on many factors, including a guilty plea.
In the 71st Installment of his 434 part series, he had on Michigan freshman Representative Mark Pocan. He represents Wisconsin's fighting 2nd District which includes Madison and the Wisconsin Dells. I have never understood how logic works and after listening to Stephen interview Mark Pocan, I still don't understand logic. I'm assuming Stephen does because he asked so many logical questions and came to so many logical conclusions. Stephen had the Official 100 Days Cupcake with 100 candles for Mark Pocan to celebrate his first 100 days in Congress. One might wonder why the smoke detectors did not go off when Stephen lit the candles. Luckily they didn't go off and luckily, Mark Pocan was able to quickly extinguish the flames. I sure hope his wish came true.
While many interviewers ask questions of Congresspersons such as "What's your idea for creating more jobs?" or "What did you know and when did you know it?" Stephen gets to those pesky questions everyone really cares about. For example, "Did John Boehner cry when he swore you in?" and "Is it true you turned tricks (as a magician) to earn a living in your younger years?" and "What have you got against bear wrestling?"
With Stephen's popular Better Know a District, is there really any reason for book publishers to publish books about how our government works? Just let the high school kids watch BKAD to learn the neat stuff that is left out of civics textbooks.
As if that wasn't enough about Congress, Stephen's guest Monday night was Congressman John Dingell of Michigan. In just a few short days, namely on Friday, June 7, Representative John Dingell will become the longest serving member in Congress. You can read more about it here at ABC World News and even find out how many days that is. It was a fascinating interview as we learned about his long career and the many accomplishments of this son of a Congressman. (True fact!) For even more interesting stuff, read further on ABC World News here and find out what cost 25 Cents Per Gallon when he was elected.
Stephen was hungry for more information and John Dingell was happy to supply him with that knowledge. Although Stephen was a bit surprised, John Dingell explained how he became a Democrat. The 1964 Civil Rights Act is the law that he is most proud of. And he told a skeptical Stephen that Compromise is an honorable word. They ended the interview with a discussion of Hawaii. If you read about the 1964 Civil Rights Act, and consider that Hawaii was not always a state in the USA, you can see why Stephen Colbert holds John Dingell responsible for a lot of what is happening in our country now.
After hearing about all that Congressman John Dingell has done for our country, I think someone should give that man a cupcake.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Hear It Here
I wasn't going to write anything else until Stephen is back with the news of the day, but a few stories caught my eye. For sure I wasn't going to write anything more about this person, but the media just keeps finding new stuff to write about. Fine, it's about Michele Bachmann and also Jim Graves. Jim Graves almost beat her last time, so now that she has dropped out, it looks better for him, maybe. But now there's an even bigger twist. Jim Graves is not going to run. He figures no one could be as bad as she is, so anybody would be an improvement. However, Philip Bump (no relation to Colbert Bump) has another idea. Maybe she will jump back in at the last minute. He said in the last sentence, "You heard it here first." Therefore, I wanted to give him another platform to talk about this. If he does prove to have figured it all out, well, I think I will ask him for good numbers to choose for the Lottery. You didn't hear it first here at The Colbert Bump, but, you did hear it here.
But the second news item that caught my eye is for women only. So men, you can stop reading now.
It's about bras and I'm quite sure Stephen would definitely have this covered. Jockey thinks it can come up with a whole new bra sizing system. Wrong. The current bra sizing system is written in stone and is as old as the hills. No one can mess with that system.
As if that isn't bad enough, they have a "Fit Kit". And it only costs $19.95! To find out what your size is!! Sure, you get a $20 email coupon, but that just means you will have to buy one of their bras in order to get the $20 back!!! And really, ladies, what are you going to do if none of their bras fit you? They have only ten cup sizes. What if you are the eleventh size cup? You'll be left out in the cold. And you know what they say about cold.
The only way to know if a bra fits is to try it on. Just like shoes, you really need to try the article on to see if it fits you. If the shoe fits, please wear it on your foot. And if the... oh, never mind.
Men, you can start reading this blog again.
But the second news item that caught my eye is for women only. So men, you can stop reading now.
It's about bras and I'm quite sure Stephen would definitely have this covered. Jockey thinks it can come up with a whole new bra sizing system. Wrong. The current bra sizing system is written in stone and is as old as the hills. No one can mess with that system.
As if that isn't bad enough, they have a "Fit Kit". And it only costs $19.95! To find out what your size is!! Sure, you get a $20 email coupon, but that just means you will have to buy one of their bras in order to get the $20 back!!! And really, ladies, what are you going to do if none of their bras fit you? They have only ten cup sizes. What if you are the eleventh size cup? You'll be left out in the cold. And you know what they say about cold.
The only way to know if a bra fits is to try it on. Just like shoes, you really need to try the article on to see if it fits you. If the shoe fits, please wear it on your foot. And if the... oh, never mind.
Men, you can start reading this blog again.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Enough is Enough
I've been watching the news tonight. Still lots of stuff about Congresswoman Michele Bachmann deciding not to run again in 2014. At least not for her current seat in Congress. She told everybody in a video. See previous post. And I thought to myself, if only Stephen was not on vacation, he could get her on the show tonight. But that won't work because she is in Russia. Wait a minute. What if .... Stephen was on vacation in Russia and saw Michele Bachmann in Russia and he could interview her there? It's possible. They could both be in the same Russian place at the same Russian time.
But back to the issue at hand. She said she had spent enough time in Congress, in that specific district. And I thought, why not look back on what she's accomplished, since when her term is up she will have spent eight years working in Congress. Eight years is surely enough time to accomplish a lot of stuff.
I figured I would have to do a lot of research to find everything she did in the last three terms plus this one so far. Lucky break for me. Someone already did that research and posted it online at Huffington Post. There's some video of her, then a neat chart of her Complete Legislative History, and then some photos of her waving. The neat chart is from govtrack.us. Charts are great because you can see everything in one neat little diagram.
Unfortunately, this chart doesn't have much substance. I guess I will have to do more research on her accomplishments and put it in another post at a later date. Check back here on June 31. I should have more information by then.
But back to the issue at hand. She said she had spent enough time in Congress, in that specific district. And I thought, why not look back on what she's accomplished, since when her term is up she will have spent eight years working in Congress. Eight years is surely enough time to accomplish a lot of stuff.
I figured I would have to do a lot of research to find everything she did in the last three terms plus this one so far. Lucky break for me. Someone already did that research and posted it online at Huffington Post. There's some video of her, then a neat chart of her Complete Legislative History, and then some photos of her waving. The neat chart is from govtrack.us. Charts are great because you can see everything in one neat little diagram.
Unfortunately, this chart doesn't have much substance. I guess I will have to do more research on her accomplishments and put it in another post at a later date. Check back here on June 31. I should have more information by then.
And I Quote Her, "Thank God"
Without fail when Stephen goes on vacation, something big happens. Or, is it because he goes on vacation that something big happens? Perhaps there are some in the political world or entertainment world or sports world that just wait until he is not on the TV machine to make their bold announcements, mistakenly thinking that no one will notice and report on it.
So, is it possible that's what happened this week? Michele Bachmann has had enough of being on the Government payroll. She is going to quit after this term runs out. Knowing how people would respond to this news, she made a video where she sadly announced her plans. You can watch the whole thing here over at Vanity Fair.
I can't know how this will affect Stephen. He never got the chance to have her on his Better Know a District segment. And now the chances of that ever happening look pretty slim. Maybe she will come on the The Colbert Report and be interviewed after she writes a new book. Heaven knows she could use the Colbert Bump to sell a few copies of her first book. That will change once she agrees to spend a little TV time with Stephen. Her books will fly off the shelves after she talks with him.
In the video over at Vanity Fair, she said that eight years is enough time to spend in Congress. No, wait a minute. She said "... eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a Representative for a specific Congressional District." What does she mean when she says the word "specific?" Is she thinking of running in a different district? You do know she doesn't actually live in the District she represents, right? Is she going to run in the District in which she lives?
She goes on to say none of those scandals that you have been reading about influenced her decision to not run again. And the narrow margin by which she won (or the huge margin by which she won, depending on how you spin it) had no bearing on her decision either.
She says some more stuff, stuff we've heard before, so you can ignore that part of the video.
As for her future plans. Well she tells us near the end of the video that basically all deals are on the table. She will do anything if it will help save our wonderful nation for future generations.
So there you have it. Michele Bachmann is giving up on Congress, but still willing to save the world. Maybe there's a future in Hollywood for her. Surely someone can come up with another superhero?
So, is it possible that's what happened this week? Michele Bachmann has had enough of being on the Government payroll. She is going to quit after this term runs out. Knowing how people would respond to this news, she made a video where she sadly announced her plans. You can watch the whole thing here over at Vanity Fair.
I can't know how this will affect Stephen. He never got the chance to have her on his Better Know a District segment. And now the chances of that ever happening look pretty slim. Maybe she will come on the The Colbert Report and be interviewed after she writes a new book. Heaven knows she could use the Colbert Bump to sell a few copies of her first book. That will change once she agrees to spend a little TV time with Stephen. Her books will fly off the shelves after she talks with him.
In the video over at Vanity Fair, she said that eight years is enough time to spend in Congress. No, wait a minute. She said "... eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a Representative for a specific Congressional District." What does she mean when she says the word "specific?" Is she thinking of running in a different district? You do know she doesn't actually live in the District she represents, right? Is she going to run in the District in which she lives?
She goes on to say none of those scandals that you have been reading about influenced her decision to not run again. And the narrow margin by which she won (or the huge margin by which she won, depending on how you spin it) had no bearing on her decision either.
She says some more stuff, stuff we've heard before, so you can ignore that part of the video.
As for her future plans. Well she tells us near the end of the video that basically all deals are on the table. She will do anything if it will help save our wonderful nation for future generations.
So there you have it. Michele Bachmann is giving up on Congress, but still willing to save the world. Maybe there's a future in Hollywood for her. Surely someone can come up with another superhero?
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Yemen, Lemon , Lemon Lime, 7 and 7, 7 Eleven, 9/11
Stephen reviewed the AUMF and indicated there are pros and cons. He also demonstrated that age old truism of Six Degrees of Separation. Senator Lindsey Graham thought the AUMF should be modified somewhat and so Stephen did so, crossing out unnecessary verbiage. The shorter and easier to understand version merely states, "Be it resolved ...That the President is authorized to use all force." Now that I understand.
Andrew Bacevich, Professor of International Relations at Boston University, showed up to help Stephen understand war and declaring war. Stephen declared that vigilance is necessary.
The last time Congress declared war was World War II. Since then, there have been a lot of work-arounds. After just a few more statements, Stephen was able to turn the tables on Andrew Bacevich. He then admitted defeat, telling Stephen, "You win." Stephen laughed and said, "You're my favorite kind of guest!"
It's been a while since we had any religion on the show, so I was glad to hear Stephen talking about the new Pope. Unfortunately the Pope has upset Stephen because he seems to be going easy on atheists. Stephen reminded us all of what it says in John 3:16: "Membership has its privileges." Stephen has put in a lot of time in the church, on his knees and is really upset by all this. He turned to a talking Buddhist stapler for advice only to find out that the stapler cares nothing about Stephen's concerns and worries.
C.J. Chivers joined Stephen over by the fireplace for the interview. He is the author of the book, "The Gun." As Foreign Correspondent for The New York Times, he is spending time on the ground in Syria. He told Stephen that the Syrians would like to see more involvement by the Americans. While Stephen assumed that C.J. Chivers most likely would stay at the Damascus Hyatt, actually, he brings a sleeping bag and travels with the Syrian rebels and observes and reports back.
In closing, as I suspected, Stephen will be off for the next week. When he comes back, he will be "thin as a rail and brown as a berry." I have no idea what that means, but I am anxious to see Stephen when he comes back.
Andrew Bacevich, Professor of International Relations at Boston University, showed up to help Stephen understand war and declaring war. Stephen declared that vigilance is necessary.
The last time Congress declared war was World War II. Since then, there have been a lot of work-arounds. After just a few more statements, Stephen was able to turn the tables on Andrew Bacevich. He then admitted defeat, telling Stephen, "You win." Stephen laughed and said, "You're my favorite kind of guest!"
It's been a while since we had any religion on the show, so I was glad to hear Stephen talking about the new Pope. Unfortunately the Pope has upset Stephen because he seems to be going easy on atheists. Stephen reminded us all of what it says in John 3:16: "Membership has its privileges." Stephen has put in a lot of time in the church, on his knees and is really upset by all this. He turned to a talking Buddhist stapler for advice only to find out that the stapler cares nothing about Stephen's concerns and worries.
C.J. Chivers joined Stephen over by the fireplace for the interview. He is the author of the book, "The Gun." As Foreign Correspondent for The New York Times, he is spending time on the ground in Syria. He told Stephen that the Syrians would like to see more involvement by the Americans. While Stephen assumed that C.J. Chivers most likely would stay at the Damascus Hyatt, actually, he brings a sleeping bag and travels with the Syrian rebels and observes and reports back.
In closing, as I suspected, Stephen will be off for the next week. When he comes back, he will be "thin as a rail and brown as a berry." I have no idea what that means, but I am anxious to see Stephen when he comes back.
The National
Here's a quick and short summary of last night's show.
* MC Tangerine Dream wants someone to go to jail over the IRS hullabaloo. (I'm assuming he doesn't care who it is, just pick someone and haul them away.)
* Lois Lerner took the Fifth. I thought there were only three bases that a player could take, and then of course Home Plate. Oh, the Fifth Amendment. That's different. Never mind.
* The boys from Kentucky, Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, want industrial hemp legalized. Here's a quote from Rand Paul: "I'm fascinated by the paper thing ... one acre of hemp is equal to two acres of trees. Trees take 15 years and hemp one season. Somebody said the Declaration of Independence is on hemp paper. I don't know if that's true or not. I've heard it though."
- May 14, 2013
* The "Rich" are hiring disabled people for the going price of $130 per hour or $1000 per day at Walt Disney World. To pretend to be one of their family members. In order to go the the front of the line! So they can cheat everyone else who dutifully waits their turn in line. Stephen called them the Resourceful Rich Set.
* Stephen briefly interviewed Matt Berninger from The National and then we got to hear music. Lucky you. If you did not watch them on The Colbert Report, you can go over to Colbert Nation, and in addition to catching last night's show online, you can hear a bonus song.
* MC Tangerine Dream wants someone to go to jail over the IRS hullabaloo. (I'm assuming he doesn't care who it is, just pick someone and haul them away.)
* Lois Lerner took the Fifth. I thought there were only three bases that a player could take, and then of course Home Plate. Oh, the Fifth Amendment. That's different. Never mind.
* The boys from Kentucky, Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, want industrial hemp legalized. Here's a quote from Rand Paul: "I'm fascinated by the paper thing ... one acre of hemp is equal to two acres of trees. Trees take 15 years and hemp one season. Somebody said the Declaration of Independence is on hemp paper. I don't know if that's true or not. I've heard it though."
- May 14, 2013
* The "Rich" are hiring disabled people for the going price of $130 per hour or $1000 per day at Walt Disney World. To pretend to be one of their family members. In order to go the the front of the line! So they can cheat everyone else who dutifully waits their turn in line. Stephen called them the Resourceful Rich Set.
* Stephen briefly interviewed Matt Berninger from The National and then we got to hear music. Lucky you. If you did not watch them on The Colbert Report, you can go over to Colbert Nation, and in addition to catching last night's show online, you can hear a bonus song.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Do You Want Fries With That?
Stephen briefly mentioned the Irish Potato Famine in the first news story of tonight's show. He should have talked about it more. It's really important. The pathogen that caused the potato crops to fail has been identified. It's Phytophthora Infestans Herb-1 strain. Although the famine was 170 years ago, the research has potential for today's crops. That's good news. Also, if you aren't familiar with the Irish Potato Famine, you can get a good sense of what it meant over at Wikipedia's article about the Great Famine. I must admit, when I first heard about it when I was a young lass in school, about the potato crop being ruined in Ireland back then, I did not realize all the implications. I figured if there weren't potatoes, then eat something else. The problem with that is that for many of the people in Ireland at the time, potatoes was what they ate. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. That was it. So, if no potatoes, then no food at all. The Great Famine meant that a lot of people died. It also meant that a lot of people left Ireland for other places, including the United States. To this day, Ireland's population remains lower than what it was before the Famine. So, go to those links and read up a bit. If for no other reason than that those people are Stephen's people.
But, back to the show. I'm pretty sure Stephen should have gotten into the Guiness Book by his excellent reciting of a whole list of pills with long, complicated names. The pills are to help with such things as your heart and blood pressure. Luckily, Prescott Pharmaceuticals has a better product. It's the Vacsa-Towel. Just take it out of the jar, apply it to the front lawn, lay down in the treatment rectangle and soak up the sun's rays. You see, there's new research that shows the sun can help lower your blood pressure. Of course, then there's the problem of trying to choose between high blood pressure or skin cancer.
Jeff Duncan is trying to curb the Census Bureau. He thinks they are too snoopy. Of course on the other hand, we do rely on lots of information gathered by the Census Bureau. Stephen had some quotes for Jeff Duncan from May 1. "Right now the Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the government shows up at their door and threatens them with a fine. Americans are fed up with these mandatory census surveys and they're asking us to stop the harassment." Also, "As a former small business owner, I recognize that some economic data gathering is beneficial. However, it should be voluntary, industry driven and not mandated by the government under penalty of law."
My take on it is that Jeff Duncan should read up a bit on the Census and what it means to this country. For example, some, but not all people get a longer form to fill out for the Census. Questions might seem ridiculous, for example how long it takes you to drive to work, But that information is used to help develop policies and plans for roads and transportation. Here's a link to the Census for Jeff Duncan and anyone else who wants to learn more. United States Census. You would be amazed at what you can learn. It's just one way we can plan for our future. If you want to know why all those questions are asked, go to this link and then click near the bottom of page to watch the video about "How Do We Know About Our Nation." It's short, only about five minutes. By the way, it was our Founding Fathers who came up with the idea of a Census every 10 years.
And really, really. Just take a minute and think. What good is it to know how many people are living in the United States if you don't have any other information about them? How many people are old or young? Should we build more nursing homes or should we build more schools? What state do people live in? You do know that is how we decide how many Congressional Representatives each state gets, right???
By the way, right now, as I am updating this post, there are 315,899,055 people in the United States. Remember that number for the quiz later on.
Harvard Rhodes Scholar Noah Feldman was on to talk with Stephen about his new book, " Cool War - The Future of Global Competition."
The United States and China have an interesting relationship. They are both a bit leery of the other but also need what the other country can provide. Stephen says China is Capitalist Curious. I think the Cool War is not actually all that cool.
But, back to the show. I'm pretty sure Stephen should have gotten into the Guiness Book by his excellent reciting of a whole list of pills with long, complicated names. The pills are to help with such things as your heart and blood pressure. Luckily, Prescott Pharmaceuticals has a better product. It's the Vacsa-Towel. Just take it out of the jar, apply it to the front lawn, lay down in the treatment rectangle and soak up the sun's rays. You see, there's new research that shows the sun can help lower your blood pressure. Of course, then there's the problem of trying to choose between high blood pressure or skin cancer.
Jeff Duncan is trying to curb the Census Bureau. He thinks they are too snoopy. Of course on the other hand, we do rely on lots of information gathered by the Census Bureau. Stephen had some quotes for Jeff Duncan from May 1. "Right now the Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the government shows up at their door and threatens them with a fine. Americans are fed up with these mandatory census surveys and they're asking us to stop the harassment." Also, "As a former small business owner, I recognize that some economic data gathering is beneficial. However, it should be voluntary, industry driven and not mandated by the government under penalty of law."
My take on it is that Jeff Duncan should read up a bit on the Census and what it means to this country. For example, some, but not all people get a longer form to fill out for the Census. Questions might seem ridiculous, for example how long it takes you to drive to work, But that information is used to help develop policies and plans for roads and transportation. Here's a link to the Census for Jeff Duncan and anyone else who wants to learn more. United States Census. You would be amazed at what you can learn. It's just one way we can plan for our future. If you want to know why all those questions are asked, go to this link and then click near the bottom of page to watch the video about "How Do We Know About Our Nation." It's short, only about five minutes. By the way, it was our Founding Fathers who came up with the idea of a Census every 10 years.
And really, really. Just take a minute and think. What good is it to know how many people are living in the United States if you don't have any other information about them? How many people are old or young? Should we build more nursing homes or should we build more schools? What state do people live in? You do know that is how we decide how many Congressional Representatives each state gets, right???
By the way, right now, as I am updating this post, there are 315,899,055 people in the United States. Remember that number for the quiz later on.
Harvard Rhodes Scholar Noah Feldman was on to talk with Stephen about his new book, " Cool War - The Future of Global Competition."
The United States and China have an interesting relationship. They are both a bit leery of the other but also need what the other country can provide. Stephen says China is Capitalist Curious. I think the Cool War is not actually all that cool.
Let's Swirl Up Some Journalism
Stephen has a new addition to his set. It's a Scandal Booth. Stephen hopped in to select the first scandal. And.... the first scandal to be scrutinized was Benghazi. In a recent poll, 41% of Republicans think it will be the biggest political scandal in US history. That number was 10% for Democrats and 20% for Independents.
(For those deficient in math, please realize that those numbers are not saying 61% of people think it is the biggest scandal. Don't make me get out my calculator. Don't make me do it. Fine. I'm getting my calculator. If you think that 61% think it is a scandal, then, using those same calculations, at least 229% of people do Not think it's a scandal.)
Next poll. Where is Benghazi? Among Republicans who believe it's the biggest scandal in US history, 10% think Benghazi is in Egypt, 9% think Benghazi is in Iran, 6% think Benghazi is in Cuba and 1% think Benghazi is in North Korea. Those numbers can legitimately be added and it tells us that 26% of Republicans who think Benghazi will be the biggest US scandal don't have any idea where Benghazi actually is located.
We got a hint at who one of Stephen's future interview guests will be. Jonathan Karl. He is someone who quotes quotes but not verbatim and not actually factually. Tuesday night (tonight) Stephen will have an exclusive interview with Jonathan Karl to discuss the Benghazi emails. Stephen shared the confirmation email with us.
"I would love to appear on The Colbert Report. My Name is Jonathan Karl.
P.S. My lower body is mostly raccoon."
To quote Stephen about that email: "Is that email real? Yes. Did I write it myself? Perhaps."
But Stephen also had other technology to confirm the content of that email so I'm convinced.
What a treat - another trip into the Scandal Booth. "Jimmy, let's swirl up some journalism" This time the scandal turns out to be IRS. By the way, for tax purposes, that Scandal Booth is Stephen's home office. You may have heard that some groups, especially tea drinking groups, have found themselves under scrutiny by the IRS. Funny thing is - there was no need for any of this to happen. The groups filed with the IRS but they didn't even have to do that! Friend of the show and Stephen's personal lawyer, Trevor Potter of the firm Caplin & Drysdale, was there, in the Scandal Booth, with briefcase in hand. He came out of that Scandal Booth and explained it all for us.
You may remember that Stephen has a Super PAC. His tax exempt status was never granted because he never filed for tax exempt status. He doesn't have to file. Wow! All those tea groups that filed for tax exempt status had no legal requirement to file with the IRS but they did anyway? You can form a 501 (c) (4) without asking to form one.
I'm quoting Stephen here: "These Tea Party anti big government organizations didn't have to ask big government for permission, but they did anyway?"
I'm quoting Trevor Potter here: "Right."
I'm quoting Stephen here: "What a bunch of pussies."
Now the IRS is under scrutiny for putting others under scrutiny and this is Stephen's big opportunity. He now wants to apply. The IRS would be under pressure to approve applications going forward.
Trevor Potter just happens to have a 1024 with him and Stephen is ready with a nickname, a "Doing Business As" name. Stephen chose the following name in order to put just a little bit more pressure on the IRS.
--- Making America a Better Tea Party Patriot 9/12 Place to Constitution America Tea Party Nominally Social Welfare Conservative Political Action Tea Party Secret Money Liberty I Dare You to Deny This Application of America Tea Party ---
It's a good thing.
The guest last night was David Sassoon of Inside Climate News. They had a discussion that was quite a bit of back and forth, give and take. Stephen prevailed when he said to the guest, "See this air between us. That's climate. Nothing happening." David Sassoon talked about the Dilbit Disaster and the two men sort of agreed that you "don't eat fish from Kalamazoo."
Stephen reminded us all that if we ignore the environment, it will just go away.
(For those deficient in math, please realize that those numbers are not saying 61% of people think it is the biggest scandal. Don't make me get out my calculator. Don't make me do it. Fine. I'm getting my calculator. If you think that 61% think it is a scandal, then, using those same calculations, at least 229% of people do Not think it's a scandal.)
Next poll. Where is Benghazi? Among Republicans who believe it's the biggest scandal in US history, 10% think Benghazi is in Egypt, 9% think Benghazi is in Iran, 6% think Benghazi is in Cuba and 1% think Benghazi is in North Korea. Those numbers can legitimately be added and it tells us that 26% of Republicans who think Benghazi will be the biggest US scandal don't have any idea where Benghazi actually is located.
We got a hint at who one of Stephen's future interview guests will be. Jonathan Karl. He is someone who quotes quotes but not verbatim and not actually factually. Tuesday night (tonight) Stephen will have an exclusive interview with Jonathan Karl to discuss the Benghazi emails. Stephen shared the confirmation email with us.
"I would love to appear on The Colbert Report. My Name is Jonathan Karl.
P.S. My lower body is mostly raccoon."
To quote Stephen about that email: "Is that email real? Yes. Did I write it myself? Perhaps."
But Stephen also had other technology to confirm the content of that email so I'm convinced.
What a treat - another trip into the Scandal Booth. "Jimmy, let's swirl up some journalism" This time the scandal turns out to be IRS. By the way, for tax purposes, that Scandal Booth is Stephen's home office. You may have heard that some groups, especially tea drinking groups, have found themselves under scrutiny by the IRS. Funny thing is - there was no need for any of this to happen. The groups filed with the IRS but they didn't even have to do that! Friend of the show and Stephen's personal lawyer, Trevor Potter of the firm Caplin & Drysdale, was there, in the Scandal Booth, with briefcase in hand. He came out of that Scandal Booth and explained it all for us.
You may remember that Stephen has a Super PAC. His tax exempt status was never granted because he never filed for tax exempt status. He doesn't have to file. Wow! All those tea groups that filed for tax exempt status had no legal requirement to file with the IRS but they did anyway? You can form a 501 (c) (4) without asking to form one.
I'm quoting Stephen here: "These Tea Party anti big government organizations didn't have to ask big government for permission, but they did anyway?"
I'm quoting Trevor Potter here: "Right."
I'm quoting Stephen here: "What a bunch of pussies."
Now the IRS is under scrutiny for putting others under scrutiny and this is Stephen's big opportunity. He now wants to apply. The IRS would be under pressure to approve applications going forward.
Trevor Potter just happens to have a 1024 with him and Stephen is ready with a nickname, a "Doing Business As" name. Stephen chose the following name in order to put just a little bit more pressure on the IRS.
--- Making America a Better Tea Party Patriot 9/12 Place to Constitution America Tea Party Nominally Social Welfare Conservative Political Action Tea Party Secret Money Liberty I Dare You to Deny This Application of America Tea Party ---
It's a good thing.
The guest last night was David Sassoon of Inside Climate News. They had a discussion that was quite a bit of back and forth, give and take. Stephen prevailed when he said to the guest, "See this air between us. That's climate. Nothing happening." David Sassoon talked about the Dilbit Disaster and the two men sort of agreed that you "don't eat fish from Kalamazoo."
Stephen reminded us all that if we ignore the environment, it will just go away.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Aspersions on His Asparagus
In Food News, Eric Holder was grilled and peppered by the Judiciary Committee. A certain talking cantaloupe, no wait, it was Louie Gohmert,was complaining about Aspersions on his Asparagus. The nerve of some people... wait, what does that mean? Stephen thought there needs to be more hearings scheduled. "The more I digest this, the worse it smells." Aspersions... Asparagus...In Energy News, eagles are being killed by wind turbines. Stephen is upset by this because people aren't upset about this. For example, if you mess with big oil, you know, have an oil spill and kill thousands of birds and other wild life, people will be upset. But break big wind an d people just laugh at you.
In Plastic News, did you know that you can buy one of those cheap MakerBots, make a head statue (bust) of Stephen Colbert and use it as a gun? No, you can't - just pulling your leg. But you can download instructions from the internet about making your own plastic gun.
And lastly, in Skeletal Biology Lab News, it turns out that humans are very good at sweating and that makes us superior to other life forms. Stephen is superior because he is wearing toe shoes. (Personally, I think it looks like you are wearing monkey feet, but whatever.)
Dr. Daniel Lieberman was Stephen's guest last Thursday. He is an actual Professor of Biological Sciences at Harvard University. He taught us to run barefoot, in that he said try running barefoot. It's harder to push yourself over your limit when running barefoot, because your feet will tell you to take it easy. Your feet hurt, so you stop running. This strategy works well for Stephen. Exercise hurts him, so he doesn't do it.
An amazing testament to how humans are superior really caught Stephen's attention. Turns out that having large butts (unlike some of the other primates) means you are less likely to fall on your face. Your gluteus maximus acts as a counter balance and this saves face a lot. Luckily for me, I rarely fall on my face!
There are many other ways that humans are superior. For example, because we have evolved, the necessity for underwear became apparent and sure enough, someone invented underwear. Lucky for all of us!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Kinky Boots
Bugs - It's what's for dinner. The United Nations is saying that bugs are a good food source and beside that, "Minilivestock offer livelihood opportunities for both urban and rural people." Stephen pointed out that if you are a New Yorker with bed bugs, you are a Rancher.
Stephen enjoyed a beer - Milwaukee's Best and that immediately brought him to Better Know a District. Coincidentally, that district includes Milwaukee. That is of course where Laverne and Shirley live.
Congresswoman Gwen Moore represents the Fourth District in Wisconsin. She is openly black and was aware of this since she was a little girl. Stephen and Gwen Moore discussed chocolate, vanilla and mint. Stephen asked questions and then immediately started playing the blame game. Somehow, Lucky Charms got mentioned. Congresswoman Gwen Moore and Stephen agreed, but on what, I'm not quite sure. Did I miss something, or did the two of them get married during the segment?
Eventually Congresswoman Gwen Moore did thank Stephen. But then they started talking about Governor Scott Walker. "Great Governor or Greatest Governor?" How does a person answer a question like that? She used the bus to answer. Governor Walker has thrown elderly under the bus, children under the bus, women under the bus and so Stephen put her down as classifying Governor Walker as Great. Congresswoman Gwen Moore just shook her head. They did, however, agree to ride a Harley Davidson together and that was OK until it wasn't OK.
Stephen's guest tonight was Cyndi Lauper. She brought her Kinky Boots. That is the name of her original Broadway show as well as the stage prop that she brought with her. The two of them, Cyndi and Stephen, are mutual fans (of each other). Words of Wisdom from Cyndi Lauper: "There's boots that are made for walking and then there's boots that you don't walk much in."
Stephen enjoyed a beer - Milwaukee's Best and that immediately brought him to Better Know a District. Coincidentally, that district includes Milwaukee. That is of course where Laverne and Shirley live.
Congresswoman Gwen Moore represents the Fourth District in Wisconsin. She is openly black and was aware of this since she was a little girl. Stephen and Gwen Moore discussed chocolate, vanilla and mint. Stephen asked questions and then immediately started playing the blame game. Somehow, Lucky Charms got mentioned. Congresswoman Gwen Moore and Stephen agreed, but on what, I'm not quite sure. Did I miss something, or did the two of them get married during the segment?
Eventually Congresswoman Gwen Moore did thank Stephen. But then they started talking about Governor Scott Walker. "Great Governor or Greatest Governor?" How does a person answer a question like that? She used the bus to answer. Governor Walker has thrown elderly under the bus, children under the bus, women under the bus and so Stephen put her down as classifying Governor Walker as Great. Congresswoman Gwen Moore just shook her head. They did, however, agree to ride a Harley Davidson together and that was OK until it wasn't OK.
Stephen's guest tonight was Cyndi Lauper. She brought her Kinky Boots. That is the name of her original Broadway show as well as the stage prop that she brought with her. The two of them, Cyndi and Stephen, are mutual fans (of each other). Words of Wisdom from Cyndi Lauper: "There's boots that are made for walking and then there's boots that you don't walk much in."
Good Source of Beta Carotene
Luckily for us and especially for new member of Congress, there will be yet another chance to vote to repeal Obamacare. This will be the 37th time. (I think the 37th time means a gift of Alabaster.)It just makes sense that each time there is a new Congress, everyone gets to vote on every bill that ever passed. Just because someone wasn't alive during Prohibition should not mean that they can't vote for or against it. And thus another attempt to repeal the law. Stephen showed us an amendment to be voted on.
I'm sorry to report that Stephen is not in Maxim's 2013 Hot 100. Last year he was #69 in the list of Hottest Women. Stephen is upset. I don't blame him. It is probably age discrimination as Stephen suggested. Nothing left for him to do but eat ice cream. The really really really embarrassing part of this debacle is that this year's #69 is Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend. How can anyone recover from that kind of embarrassment and disappointment. And just after he celebrated a birthday. What a slap in the face!
Stephen's guest was Dan Brown. His new book is "Inferno." (That's it... one word in the title. One. Word. !) And by all reports it is Hot. I don't think this book would qualify for a Reading Rainbow spot, just a feeling I have. Stephen as usual always comes out best when he interviews people. Stephen brought up puzzles which Dan Brown is fond of, specifically Dan Brown. In a segment that Stephen should call Anagram Time but doesn't, he told us and Dan Brown that the author's name is an anagram for "Brand Now" and also "Brand Down." Chew on that for a while!
I'm sorry to report that Stephen is not in Maxim's 2013 Hot 100. Last year he was #69 in the list of Hottest Women. Stephen is upset. I don't blame him. It is probably age discrimination as Stephen suggested. Nothing left for him to do but eat ice cream. The really really really embarrassing part of this debacle is that this year's #69 is Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend. How can anyone recover from that kind of embarrassment and disappointment. And just after he celebrated a birthday. What a slap in the face!
Stephen's guest was Dan Brown. His new book is "Inferno." (That's it... one word in the title. One. Word. !) And by all reports it is Hot. I don't think this book would qualify for a Reading Rainbow spot, just a feeling I have. Stephen as usual always comes out best when he interviews people. Stephen brought up puzzles which Dan Brown is fond of, specifically Dan Brown. In a segment that Stephen should call Anagram Time but doesn't, he told us and Dan Brown that the author's name is an anagram for "Brand Now" and also "Brand Down." Chew on that for a while!
Impossible Odds
First of all, I learned too late that I was not at Stephen Colbert's birthday party. I should have been suspicious when "Stephen" was shorter than I thought, older than I thought and would not take that mask off no matter what. Next year I will be a lot more careful about going to a birthday party for a big-name celebrity in a small name fast food restaurant. In my defense, there was a birthday tree there and it had a photo of Stephen at the top.
I really should have stayed home and got caught up with my posts. Oh, well...
There's the lame stream media out there and then there's Stephen and Fox News. I have come to realize that Stephen is always fair in anything he reports. Sometimes though I wonder about Fox News. Lately, in the past month or so, it seems that nothing President Obama does is what Fox News thinks the President should be doing. One idea would be for Fox to send to the President a daily agenda and talking points. Do this. Say this. That should keep everyone happy.
Stephen reported on the protests at the United States Embassy in Cairo and all the hoopla that goes with the neverending reporting by everyone about it. Four Americans were killed. Our thoughts are still with the families.But one woman, Ms. Rice, is being blamed. Ms. Rice was not completely accurate about something that happened in the Middle East. (Photos of Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Ms. Rice appear on the set). Yikes, that's confusing. There is more than one Ms. Rice. I better clear that up. Susan Rice was the one who said that the attacks were "...spontaneously inspired by the protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo..." whereas Condoleezza Rice was the one who said, "Bin Laden determined to strike with in the U. S." I always get those two women mixed up. I'm glad Stephen had photos of everyone on the show
I'll hurry up on the rest of the show. I am so behind. There's a firestorm so Stephen got out some champagne and now the IRS is mad at him. And everyone is happy in France, bears are getting high on fumes. That's about what he said.
There were two guests on the show, Jessica Buchanan and her husband Erik Landemalm. Jessica was kidnapped by Somalian land pirates in 2011, held for $45 million ransom and rescued after 93 days by Navy SEAL Team Six. And thus the book, "Impossible Odds - the Kidnapping of Jessica Buchanan and Her Dramatic Rescue by SEAL Team Six." The title says it all, but go buy the book anyway.
I really should have stayed home and got caught up with my posts. Oh, well...
There's the lame stream media out there and then there's Stephen and Fox News. I have come to realize that Stephen is always fair in anything he reports. Sometimes though I wonder about Fox News. Lately, in the past month or so, it seems that nothing President Obama does is what Fox News thinks the President should be doing. One idea would be for Fox to send to the President a daily agenda and talking points. Do this. Say this. That should keep everyone happy.
Stephen reported on the protests at the United States Embassy in Cairo and all the hoopla that goes with the neverending reporting by everyone about it. Four Americans were killed. Our thoughts are still with the families.But one woman, Ms. Rice, is being blamed. Ms. Rice was not completely accurate about something that happened in the Middle East. (Photos of Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Ms. Rice appear on the set). Yikes, that's confusing. There is more than one Ms. Rice. I better clear that up. Susan Rice was the one who said that the attacks were "...spontaneously inspired by the protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo..." whereas Condoleezza Rice was the one who said, "Bin Laden determined to strike with in the U. S." I always get those two women mixed up. I'm glad Stephen had photos of everyone on the show
I'll hurry up on the rest of the show. I am so behind. There's a firestorm so Stephen got out some champagne and now the IRS is mad at him. And everyone is happy in France, bears are getting high on fumes. That's about what he said.
There were two guests on the show, Jessica Buchanan and her husband Erik Landemalm. Jessica was kidnapped by Somalian land pirates in 2011, held for $45 million ransom and rescued after 93 days by Navy SEAL Team Six. And thus the book, "Impossible Odds - the Kidnapping of Jessica Buchanan and Her Dramatic Rescue by SEAL Team Six." The title says it all, but go buy the book anyway.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Butterfly in the Sky
I often say that The Colbert Report is the best show ever. Well, I was reminded last week that there are also other best shows ever.
Thursday's show brought a very refined Stephen out onto a lovely, redecorated set. I am going to love this new set of his. It was about time for a fresh look. Stephen shared with us the book "The Great Gatsby" for his Colbert Book Club. The book, which Stephen definitely did read, is a classic and there is a movie out now that is decent. In the first of many people who showed up on the show, we got to meet Carey Mulligan who is actually in the movie version of "The Great Gatsby" and, like Stephen, did read the book. Go take a look at her Wikipedia page. It is quite interesting. She is married to Marcus Mumford and that name sounds so familiar to me for some reason. I wish I could remember why. Also, she has a lot of Nominations and Wins for all sorts of films and TV shows. I would think Stephen would be somewhat uncomfortable sharing the stage with such talent, but he was enthralled with her.
You would think the excitement ends there, but no. Yet another famous person was on the show. LeVar Burton, another one of my favorite people. He had the ultimate book club of all time, "Reading Rainbow." But you don't have to take my word for it. Anyway, LeVar was able to help Stephen and Carey understand how important the book "The Great Gatsby" was. (Special thanks to James Franco for his help with Carey's lines.)
So, I am not sure what I should do or say now. Is The Colbert Report the best show ever? Or is it Reading Rainbow? Just when I thought I could decide, I was reminded of yet another best show ever, Star Trek. It's more than I can deal with to try to decide which is best.
Next up as a guest was Jennifer Egan, yet another person with links to literature and awards. So she and Stephen had a lot in common. As most book club fans, she had a "glass" of Chardonnay. They had a lovely discussion of the book and of Gatsby. Everything worked out well for all the characters for the most part. Maybe not everything, but well, a few things. Sort of. Maybe not so good.
And then the regular guest Baz Luhrmann who directed the current film version of The Great Gatsby was interviewed by Stephen. I guess what first got Baz Luhrmann interested in Gatsby was when he read the Australian translation of the book when he was younger. Well, maybe books on tape would be more accurate. Anyway, the book was a favorite of his even though he slept through it. The film, it turns out, is a favorite of Stephen's even though he slept through the movie. But all's well that ends well, and everyone should either read the book or go to the movie or both.
Thursday's show brought a very refined Stephen out onto a lovely, redecorated set. I am going to love this new set of his. It was about time for a fresh look. Stephen shared with us the book "The Great Gatsby" for his Colbert Book Club. The book, which Stephen definitely did read, is a classic and there is a movie out now that is decent. In the first of many people who showed up on the show, we got to meet Carey Mulligan who is actually in the movie version of "The Great Gatsby" and, like Stephen, did read the book. Go take a look at her Wikipedia page. It is quite interesting. She is married to Marcus Mumford and that name sounds so familiar to me for some reason. I wish I could remember why. Also, she has a lot of Nominations and Wins for all sorts of films and TV shows. I would think Stephen would be somewhat uncomfortable sharing the stage with such talent, but he was enthralled with her.
You would think the excitement ends there, but no. Yet another famous person was on the show. LeVar Burton, another one of my favorite people. He had the ultimate book club of all time, "Reading Rainbow." But you don't have to take my word for it. Anyway, LeVar was able to help Stephen and Carey understand how important the book "The Great Gatsby" was. (Special thanks to James Franco for his help with Carey's lines.)
So, I am not sure what I should do or say now. Is The Colbert Report the best show ever? Or is it Reading Rainbow? Just when I thought I could decide, I was reminded of yet another best show ever, Star Trek. It's more than I can deal with to try to decide which is best.
Next up as a guest was Jennifer Egan, yet another person with links to literature and awards. So she and Stephen had a lot in common. As most book club fans, she had a "glass" of Chardonnay. They had a lovely discussion of the book and of Gatsby. Everything worked out well for all the characters for the most part. Maybe not everything, but well, a few things. Sort of. Maybe not so good.
And then the regular guest Baz Luhrmann who directed the current film version of The Great Gatsby was interviewed by Stephen. I guess what first got Baz Luhrmann interested in Gatsby was when he read the Australian translation of the book when he was younger. Well, maybe books on tape would be more accurate. Anyway, the book was a favorite of his even though he slept through it. The film, it turns out, is a favorite of Stephen's even though he slept through the movie. But all's well that ends well, and everyone should either read the book or go to the movie or both.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Happy Birthday Stephen
Whoa!
I started celebrating Stephen's birthday this weekend and figured it was finally time to settle down a bit. The cake was delicious. The dancers were energetic to say the least and the movie we watched was incredibly funny. Great party Stephen. And again, Happy Birthday to You!
I started celebrating Stephen's birthday this weekend and figured it was finally time to settle down a bit. The cake was delicious. The dancers were energetic to say the least and the movie we watched was incredibly funny. Great party Stephen. And again, Happy Birthday to You!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
All Night Long (All Night, All Night) All Night Long
I'm back after having spent time out of the country, I mean, hiking along a famous trail. No, just kidding. But I will have to decide whether to go back and look at the episodes I missed, watch them and then give my take on what happened, or just throw in the towel and move on. Time will tell, probably in a few days.
Moving on.
Stephen is angry and I don't blame him. As a result he is turning his back on South Carolina. This is because Mark Sanford beat up, I mean won the Congressional seat in South Carolina meaning that Elizabeth Colbert Busch lost. (You're still a winner to me, Lulu.) You may remember that Stephen is from South Carolina. No more. He's now from North Carolina. Wait, no, he's changed his mind again and he is from South Carolina because he loves it so much.
Why or why did his sister lose the race? What is wrong with the political landscape? There were a whole lot of things said or implied about his sister that were as far from truthiness as Pluto is from the sun. (Oh stop it blogger. Don't underline truthiness and try to tell me it's not a word. Can't you see I'm just as angry as Stephen is?)
The analysis continued with Stephen admitting that the First Congressional District of South Carolina (the Fighting First) is solidly Republican and lots of times, people just vote the way they always have without paying attention to the candidates. However, partisanship is hurting all of us. Congress can't decide if they are gridlocked or deadlocked. Some people are blaming the Republican Party because it's kind of splintered, or in a rift as Stephen said. Here's some proof. The GOP controlled House took two days to pass legislation that helped save helium. The Democrats would have been fine with just a unanimous voice vote.
Pause here for some commentary from Stephen about a voice vote about helium and also a suggestion for the next Representative from South Carolina. Just think balloons, helium balloons and you'll understand.
I thought I understood what partisanship was, but Stephen made me realize how really crazy it is. And how absolutely funny it sounds.
If anyone is hip, it is Stephen Colbert. And he should know. But enough about that. Diapers. (Insert you own quirky pun here, mine were all too gross to use.) Apparently some parents have decided against using diapers. It will help save the environment by not having all those discarded disposables. It won't use endless amounts of water washing cloth diapers. Forget about annoying diaper rash. I can see no down sides to this plan. The plus side is parents will be able to figure out when the kid is going to go and hold them over the sink of toilet. Okay, I can think of one down side and that one think is now sitting in the bottom of the sink at that public restroom at _____ . (Please.... fill in the blank here and not with some favorite store or place that I frequently go to for books, groceries or fast food.)
This seemingly perfect system actually does have a down side. It's called the crib, in that the baby is going to be there all night long and of course you're not going to wait all night ready to hold the baby over the sink or toilet. Do I need to tell you that Stephen has the solution? Do I need to tell you that it's Kiddie Litter?
I'm going to go out here on a limb and say that there may be a few people who can see disadvantages to hordes of babies roaming the street with no diapers. Parents who are thinking this is a good idea, listen to some advice, please. "It stinks." There, I said it. You may think this is a loving thing to do to your wonderful child, but you are not really doing anyone a favor. You are going to have to clean up a lot of messes when neither baby or parent communicated or understood about the need now for a toilet. You are going to clean up that mess, right? Even if you are able to never show disappointment at accidents, you can't stop other people from being astounded. Read some books on child development, and not just by one author. Read a diverse group of authors about a diverse range of theories of how to raise a happy healthy child. Don't fall for the latest craze. Listen to that lady on the bus that tells you to put a diaper on that baby. She is obviously smarter than you.
Sure this may be a tried and true practice that is centuries old and done in many cultures. But is your day care mom going to be able to do this with the four kids she is taking care of? I mean, no one can hold four kids over the toilet at the same time if they are all on the same schedule. What this turns out to be is toilet training Mom to be ready to hold baby over the toilet a lot. If that is all you have to do each day, this may just work. If you have other things to do, such as cleaning, cooking, driving the dog to the vet, then this may not be the path you want to take. Here's something I found with a little bit more info about what really is involved.
Here's something that is kind of nice. Stephen had a doctor on the show - Dr. Richard Besser - Chief Health and Medical Editor for ABC News. He had good advice for all of us, maybe not for Stephen who is such a perfect specimen, but for the average Joe. Diet to help lose weight, exercise to build a strong heart. So, do both regardless of the advice Stephen is trying to give us. Now we see the benefit of having experts on for the guest portion of the show. Stephen found out from Dr. Richard Besser, that, for example, supplements that claim to improve parts of your day to day life don't have to be approved by the FDA. Dr. Besser is not a big fan of everyone taking multi-vitamins, pregnant women, yes, but as Stephen was quick to point out, he (Stephen) is not a pregnant woman! Yearly check-ups? Also not a fan of that. He says it is better to be in tune with your body so you know when something is wrong and then can go to the doctor. Stephen brought up several good points. Good for you, Stephen.
And here I go out in a limb again. It goes without saying that a doctor would be in tune with his body and know when something was wrong. But the average Joe does not know, perhaps, what is normal an what is not normal. Stephen had an example. A doctor would most likely know the range of normal for blood pressure, weight, hearing, and a whole bunch of other health conditions. Some people just don't know what makes a body tick. Here's an example. Surely you've heard the joke with the punchline, "You want me to put that large pill where?
Next, Stephen wanted to talk about doctors on TV. (I wonder where this is headed because I think Dr. Richard Besser is a doctor on TV, or at least he was while he was on The Colbert Report, right? (Zing!) They had some nice chit chat about doctors on TV. Should we trust them? Should we believe them? Ah... Dr. Richard Besser told Stephen that some doctors on TV may be just trying to sell you something. "I assume you are giving this book away." (Double Zing!) Oh, yeah. Stephen just scored a free copy of the book "Tell Me The Truth, Doctor."
Now if only they would have had time to talk about diapers. sigh...
Moving on.
Stephen is angry and I don't blame him. As a result he is turning his back on South Carolina. This is because Mark Sanford beat up, I mean won the Congressional seat in South Carolina meaning that Elizabeth Colbert Busch lost. (You're still a winner to me, Lulu.) You may remember that Stephen is from South Carolina. No more. He's now from North Carolina. Wait, no, he's changed his mind again and he is from South Carolina because he loves it so much.
Why or why did his sister lose the race? What is wrong with the political landscape? There were a whole lot of things said or implied about his sister that were as far from truthiness as Pluto is from the sun. (Oh stop it blogger. Don't underline truthiness and try to tell me it's not a word. Can't you see I'm just as angry as Stephen is?)
The analysis continued with Stephen admitting that the First Congressional District of South Carolina (the Fighting First) is solidly Republican and lots of times, people just vote the way they always have without paying attention to the candidates. However, partisanship is hurting all of us. Congress can't decide if they are gridlocked or deadlocked. Some people are blaming the Republican Party because it's kind of splintered, or in a rift as Stephen said. Here's some proof. The GOP controlled House took two days to pass legislation that helped save helium. The Democrats would have been fine with just a unanimous voice vote.
Pause here for some commentary from Stephen about a voice vote about helium and also a suggestion for the next Representative from South Carolina. Just think balloons, helium balloons and you'll understand.
I thought I understood what partisanship was, but Stephen made me realize how really crazy it is. And how absolutely funny it sounds.
If anyone is hip, it is Stephen Colbert. And he should know. But enough about that. Diapers. (Insert you own quirky pun here, mine were all too gross to use.) Apparently some parents have decided against using diapers. It will help save the environment by not having all those discarded disposables. It won't use endless amounts of water washing cloth diapers. Forget about annoying diaper rash. I can see no down sides to this plan. The plus side is parents will be able to figure out when the kid is going to go and hold them over the sink of toilet. Okay, I can think of one down side and that one think is now sitting in the bottom of the sink at that public restroom at _____ . (Please.... fill in the blank here and not with some favorite store or place that I frequently go to for books, groceries or fast food.)
This seemingly perfect system actually does have a down side. It's called the crib, in that the baby is going to be there all night long and of course you're not going to wait all night ready to hold the baby over the sink or toilet. Do I need to tell you that Stephen has the solution? Do I need to tell you that it's Kiddie Litter?
I'm going to go out here on a limb and say that there may be a few people who can see disadvantages to hordes of babies roaming the street with no diapers. Parents who are thinking this is a good idea, listen to some advice, please. "It stinks." There, I said it. You may think this is a loving thing to do to your wonderful child, but you are not really doing anyone a favor. You are going to have to clean up a lot of messes when neither baby or parent communicated or understood about the need now for a toilet. You are going to clean up that mess, right? Even if you are able to never show disappointment at accidents, you can't stop other people from being astounded. Read some books on child development, and not just by one author. Read a diverse group of authors about a diverse range of theories of how to raise a happy healthy child. Don't fall for the latest craze. Listen to that lady on the bus that tells you to put a diaper on that baby. She is obviously smarter than you.
Sure this may be a tried and true practice that is centuries old and done in many cultures. But is your day care mom going to be able to do this with the four kids she is taking care of? I mean, no one can hold four kids over the toilet at the same time if they are all on the same schedule. What this turns out to be is toilet training Mom to be ready to hold baby over the toilet a lot. If that is all you have to do each day, this may just work. If you have other things to do, such as cleaning, cooking, driving the dog to the vet, then this may not be the path you want to take. Here's something I found with a little bit more info about what really is involved.
Here's something that is kind of nice. Stephen had a doctor on the show - Dr. Richard Besser - Chief Health and Medical Editor for ABC News. He had good advice for all of us, maybe not for Stephen who is such a perfect specimen, but for the average Joe. Diet to help lose weight, exercise to build a strong heart. So, do both regardless of the advice Stephen is trying to give us. Now we see the benefit of having experts on for the guest portion of the show. Stephen found out from Dr. Richard Besser, that, for example, supplements that claim to improve parts of your day to day life don't have to be approved by the FDA. Dr. Besser is not a big fan of everyone taking multi-vitamins, pregnant women, yes, but as Stephen was quick to point out, he (Stephen) is not a pregnant woman! Yearly check-ups? Also not a fan of that. He says it is better to be in tune with your body so you know when something is wrong and then can go to the doctor. Stephen brought up several good points. Good for you, Stephen.
And here I go out in a limb again. It goes without saying that a doctor would be in tune with his body and know when something was wrong. But the average Joe does not know, perhaps, what is normal an what is not normal. Stephen had an example. A doctor would most likely know the range of normal for blood pressure, weight, hearing, and a whole bunch of other health conditions. Some people just don't know what makes a body tick. Here's an example. Surely you've heard the joke with the punchline, "You want me to put that large pill where?
Next, Stephen wanted to talk about doctors on TV. (I wonder where this is headed because I think Dr. Richard Besser is a doctor on TV, or at least he was while he was on The Colbert Report, right? (Zing!) They had some nice chit chat about doctors on TV. Should we trust them? Should we believe them? Ah... Dr. Richard Besser told Stephen that some doctors on TV may be just trying to sell you something. "I assume you are giving this book away." (Double Zing!) Oh, yeah. Stephen just scored a free copy of the book "Tell Me The Truth, Doctor."
Now if only they would have had time to talk about diapers. sigh...
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
I Have No Idea Who Casey Kasem Is
This is upsetting. The FDA says that people (and by people I mean female people) as young as 15 years old can now get the Morning After Pill (Plan B) at their pharmacy without a prescription. Of course this is upsetting to Stephen and also to so many conservative men in their sixties. Surely these conservative men in their sixties know what is best for the reproductive health for people (and by people I mean female people) who are 15 years old (or 25 or 35 or 45). "Manny" worries that soon we will have to give the pill out to babies. Stephen reminded us that it has probably already begun. Have you ever seen a pregnant baby???
Stephen talked guns and gun control. Which brings us to tonight's word: N.R.A.-vana. And it also brought a bit of nostalgia as Stephen talked about his first show when he coined the word truthiness. Truthiness is that natural human desire to ignore facts, and to go with what you feel in your gut. Stephen had a quote for us from Kevin Williamson from April 18, 2013. "... it should be noted that being shot in the head by a lunatic does not give one any special grace to pronounce upon public-policy questions ..." Stephen noted the medical problem that Kevin Williamson suffers from.
Another quote that Stephen shared with us is from Bob Davis on April 12 of this year from the radio gig he does with former Republican gubernatorial candidate, Tom Emmer. That would be "Davis & Emmer in the Morning." Bob Davis said, "I'm sorry that you suffered a tragedy but you know what? Deal with it and don't force me to lose my liberty which is a greater tragedy that your loss." Surely we don't want to make Bob Davis have to fill out some form at a gun show. ("Top That, Westboro Baptist!") Stephen continued with the continuation of what Bob Davis said. "I'm sick and tired of seeing these victims trotted out, given rides on Air Force One, hauled into the Senate well and everyone is just afraid, they're terrified of these victims. I would stand in front of them and tell them "Go to Hell."
A Sandy Hook resident offered to fly Bob Davis to Newtown to actually tell them to go you-know-where, but he has not responded to that offer of a free plane ride.
There has been no reply from Bob Davis. And that's the Word.
Stephen's guest tonight was plural. So it was guests and they were Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. Stephen is a fan and yet he has a beef with them. They released their album independently. This is bad for corporations and isn't that really what music is all about?
Why would anyone do that? Well, they get to do it their way and they get more money. Can't argue with that logic.
Stephen talked about the older days of Rock and Roll and mentioned Casey Kasem. (Who?) They talked about celebrity status and the need for wearing wigs, baseball caps, and sunglasses when going to the local plant store to buy some mulch.
Of course here was a performance of Same Love from The Heist. Also there to sing with them was Mary Lambert. And of course it was great. And of course there is a bonus song (not yet, but soon) over at Colbert Nation. Of course.
Stephen talked guns and gun control. Which brings us to tonight's word: N.R.A.-vana. And it also brought a bit of nostalgia as Stephen talked about his first show when he coined the word truthiness. Truthiness is that natural human desire to ignore facts, and to go with what you feel in your gut. Stephen had a quote for us from Kevin Williamson from April 18, 2013. "... it should be noted that being shot in the head by a lunatic does not give one any special grace to pronounce upon public-policy questions ..." Stephen noted the medical problem that Kevin Williamson suffers from.
Another quote that Stephen shared with us is from Bob Davis on April 12 of this year from the radio gig he does with former Republican gubernatorial candidate, Tom Emmer. That would be "Davis & Emmer in the Morning." Bob Davis said, "I'm sorry that you suffered a tragedy but you know what? Deal with it and don't force me to lose my liberty which is a greater tragedy that your loss." Surely we don't want to make Bob Davis have to fill out some form at a gun show. ("Top That, Westboro Baptist!") Stephen continued with the continuation of what Bob Davis said. "I'm sick and tired of seeing these victims trotted out, given rides on Air Force One, hauled into the Senate well and everyone is just afraid, they're terrified of these victims. I would stand in front of them and tell them "Go to Hell."
A Sandy Hook resident offered to fly Bob Davis to Newtown to actually tell them to go you-know-where, but he has not responded to that offer of a free plane ride.
There has been no reply from Bob Davis. And that's the Word.
Stephen's guest tonight was plural. So it was guests and they were Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. Stephen is a fan and yet he has a beef with them. They released their album independently. This is bad for corporations and isn't that really what music is all about?
Why would anyone do that? Well, they get to do it their way and they get more money. Can't argue with that logic.
Stephen talked about the older days of Rock and Roll and mentioned Casey Kasem. (Who?) They talked about celebrity status and the need for wearing wigs, baseball caps, and sunglasses when going to the local plant store to buy some mulch.
Of course here was a performance of Same Love from The Heist. Also there to sing with them was Mary Lambert. And of course it was great. And of course there is a bonus song (not yet, but soon) over at Colbert Nation. Of course.
Which One of You is the Cute One?
The Army is saying no thanks. The Army is saying no tanks. But Congress is saying yes to tanks in that they are built in Ohio and the two congressmen from that part of Ohio ( Senator Rob Portman and Congressman Jim Jordan) say keep those tanks rolling.
Stephen says illegal immigration and health care costs are causing some of our budget problems. And so The Word for last night was Medical Leave. Funny story, Iowa deported two Mexicans who were in a car accident in a rural part of Iowa and then sent them down to Mexico on a private jet while they were comatose. There have also been cases of hospitals putting patients with mental illnesses on a Greyhound bus and sending them to some other state. Problems solved.
Thought for Food and wouldn't you know it now I'm hungry! Salsa is selling more product than ketchup! Hummus is becoming more and more popular here. Budweiser now has Buddy Cups. You can bump cups with fellow drunks and get new Facebook friends. Finally something useful.
Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy created an app that lets you share photos but only for 10 seconds. Snapchat can be good but as Stephen pointed out, why would anyone want a photo of this (Stephen's face) to disappear? Ah, Stephen is the exception. Of course you wouldn't want his photo to disappear. Stephen asked the probing question and then even more probing questions. In addition to the probing questions, he asked if they are making a profit or if that disappears after 10 seconds too. Well of course they hope to monetize this app. To prove that Snapchat works, the guys took a self-portrait, sent it to Stephen and indeed it was there and then it was gone.
Stephen says illegal immigration and health care costs are causing some of our budget problems. And so The Word for last night was Medical Leave. Funny story, Iowa deported two Mexicans who were in a car accident in a rural part of Iowa and then sent them down to Mexico on a private jet while they were comatose. There have also been cases of hospitals putting patients with mental illnesses on a Greyhound bus and sending them to some other state. Problems solved.
Thought for Food and wouldn't you know it now I'm hungry! Salsa is selling more product than ketchup! Hummus is becoming more and more popular here. Budweiser now has Buddy Cups. You can bump cups with fellow drunks and get new Facebook friends. Finally something useful.
Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy created an app that lets you share photos but only for 10 seconds. Snapchat can be good but as Stephen pointed out, why would anyone want a photo of this (Stephen's face) to disappear? Ah, Stephen is the exception. Of course you wouldn't want his photo to disappear. Stephen asked the probing question and then even more probing questions. In addition to the probing questions, he asked if they are making a profit or if that disappears after 10 seconds too. Well of course they hope to monetize this app. To prove that Snapchat works, the guys took a self-portrait, sent it to Stephen and indeed it was there and then it was gone.
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