Stephen needs to put some distance between him and the earthquake. He should fly over to jolly England. He has already been thoroughly trained in proper etiquette for meeting with the Queen of England, so he won't have any problems there. When he gets to England, he can just call the Queen and set up a visit if that's of interest to him. When he's done visiting with the Queen, he will find all sorts of other things to do to Enjoy England.
One thing he should be sure to look at is Stonehenge, that neat circle of stones that was built a really long time ago. Then, back to London for shopping, dining, and museums. He might want to take in a show or movie while there. Or perhaps he could spend some time visiting with Sherlock Holmes, or at least checking out the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
Well, lots to do in jolly old England, and the good news is that Stephen already knows the language so he should have no trouble talking with the people and finding his way around with a simple map.
Showing posts with label Queen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Queen. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
My Fair Colbert
Rumor has it that Stephen Colbert actually has very bad table manners, generally. This includes dunking his biscuits or scones into tea, licking the spoon, clinking the spoon, and even stealing the spoon.
This all became very obvious to the thousands of Colbertians watching The Colbert Report tonight. Stephen had hoped to learn enough manners to not make a complete fool of himself when he goes to the Royal Wedding (where is his invitation anyway? time's a wasting!).
He joined up with an expert on British protocol for meeting Royalty at the soon to be very famous Tea and Sympathy. Basically he made a fool of himself and frankly, Stephen Colbert embarrassed the entire United States of America.
Now. To see what I expect will be a very quick correction of the many errors I have made in this posting, check out the website icorrect.com. If anything I said was untrue or if it was true but unkind, then corrections should show up soon to set the record straight.
If corrections do not show up there, then we will know that Stephen needs to do a little bit more work on his table manners before he meets The Queen.
Overheard at Tea and Sympathy:
"You're doing everything wrong."
"No, you don't steal the spoon."
"No dunking."
"Put your pinkie back."
"No."
"Don't"
"No."
"No, no, no."
This all became very obvious to the thousands of Colbertians watching The Colbert Report tonight. Stephen had hoped to learn enough manners to not make a complete fool of himself when he goes to the Royal Wedding (where is his invitation anyway? time's a wasting!).
He joined up with an expert on British protocol for meeting Royalty at the soon to be very famous Tea and Sympathy. Basically he made a fool of himself and frankly, Stephen Colbert embarrassed the entire United States of America.
Now. To see what I expect will be a very quick correction of the many errors I have made in this posting, check out the website icorrect.com. If anything I said was untrue or if it was true but unkind, then corrections should show up soon to set the record straight.
If corrections do not show up there, then we will know that Stephen needs to do a little bit more work on his table manners before he meets The Queen.
Overheard at Tea and Sympathy:
"You're doing everything wrong."
"No, you don't steal the spoon."
"No dunking."
"Put your pinkie back."
"No."
"Don't"
"No."
"No, no, no."
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