I'm a Ladder, You're a Ladder, Everyone's a Ladder.

Stephen claims to be a huge fan of the comic book genre but he is concerned about an old character getting a face lift. It's Ms.Marvel, or Ms. Marvelle as Ms. Rodriguez says. Stephen, who is often one of a quartet, is concerned that Ms. Marvel is a Shape Shifter. White that may indeed be a great super-hero attribute or talent, it still concerns him. For all we know, that lamp sitting on the dresser could be Ms. Marvel. I too am concerned about Shape Shifters. You never know when you are seeing one. And speaking of comic book fans, when are we going to see some more Tek Jansen? I don't know why I have to keep reminding Stephen of this.

And now something for the youngsters. It's a field trip on the Meet the Trees Foundation bus to visit the forest. Hah, but that was just a ruse to get the kids onto the bus. It's a Toys R (where is my backward R key?) Us ad. That's right, a bunch of kids get on the bus with "Ranger Brad," he starts quizzing them about different kinds of leaves, and then presto-change-o, he's taking them all to a Toys R Us store. The kids go wild, at least some of them do. Stephen pointed out the magic of "having a stranger take your kids on a bus, lie about where they're going, then take off his clothes and promise them toys." (Note to parents: Tell your kids not to get on a bus or in a car with someone who says he will buy them toys/ give them candy/ let them see a puppy.) Stephen gave Toys R Us a Tip of the Hat for reminding us that "Nature Sucks." And Stephen also added that Nature is Boring.

There are two things that bother me about that ad, besides just the creepiness that Stephen was so sharp to pick up on.

One. Remember how there's that joke that on Christmas morning the kids play with the box that the toy came in rather than the shiny, noisy, expensive toy you bought, I mean Santa delivered? Well, pay attention. Maybe, instead of all those electronic toys with bells and whistles, you should be getting simple toys that allow kids to, yes I'm going to say it, use their imagination. Buy them a toy that requires them to run and jump, not a toy that they watch someone else run and jump. And buy them toys that are educationally fun. Good old board games like Monopoly (classic edition that requires them to shake dice and count money), Scrabble, Clue, Battleship (I think that is a favorite of Stephen's) or Candyland for the younger set.

Two. This is the one that really worries me. Have you looked closely at that commercial? Have you looked at those kids? Pay close attention. Here's what "Ranger Brad" said. "Let's play Name That Leaf. What's this one?" (Notice the older girl with long brown hair in the red shirt.) "He says it's an Oak leaf. It's a Field Maple. That's okay." (Notice the young, curly haired kid wearing a blue shirt.) "I'm a big fan of trees, I don't know if you could tell." (Notice the little girl with white shirt and the one in the seat behind that girl who is wearing a pink sweater with a large collar.) "But we're not going to the forest today. We're going to Toys R Us." (And the  young, curly haired kid wearing a blue shirt is back!)

Okay. It is humanly impossible for kids to change seats on a bus that quickly. Ranger Brad was is in mid sentence. I know what's really going on. Those kids, all of them, are Shape Shifters! There is no other explanation.

So a warning to everyone. Buy toys wisely and watch out for Shape Shifters. Of course, I guess I don't know that Shape Shifters are bad actually. In fact now that I think of it, it might be a good thing. Say you're in a toy store and there's a really neat toy you want to buy but it's up on a tall shelf that you can't reach. If there's a little kid in the same aisle, ask if he is a Shape Shifter. If he says yes, ask him to Shape-shift into a tall basketball player and reach that toy for you! Or ask him to Shape-shift into a ladder and just climb up and get the toy yourself.

Stephen's guest last night was Brian Lehrer of Brian Lehrer Show fame. He's on the radio in New York City on WNYC. The two discussed the recent election. There will be a new mayor in New York City, Bill  de Blasio. Both men agreed that the new mayor has cool looking kids. But then they disagreed on other important stuff. Brian Lehrer seemed to think taxing the very rich people just a tiny bit more in order to send four-year-olds to Pre-K was a smart idea. Stephen, who would have to pay more in taxes, wondered about the wisdom of sending kids to school when they can't even read yet. As far as Mayor Bloomberg's legacy, Brian Lehrer said it will be all the good things he did for public health. And it could have been better had it not been for the Lollipop Guild.

And, on a final note, here's the reason I tune in to The Colbert Report. Stephen always has the breaking news before anyone else even knows it fell off the shelf. Stephen alerted us to the fact that the Empire State Building is going to be turned into public housing. I guess I better take that trip to New York City and see the Empire State Building while I can still ride the elevator to the top.

Little Bit Here, Little Bit There, Little Bit Everywhere

While Stephen focused on the GOP winner of the New York Mayoral primary, most of the stories I found over at Google were about the Democratic winner, or probable winner, Bill de Blasio. That first link has lots of photos. Here's a link with more words than photos. Although Stephen had good reasons for his endorsement of Joseph Lhota, I think kittens are cute and therefore I won't be voting for Lhota. Of course, I can't vote for the Mayor of New York City, so that plays into my decision also.

Moving on to national news, Stephen was able to show us all the reasons we can compare Syria and Siri. I did not realize how similar they are. Stephen is a true intellectual giant.

And then there was a very confusing portion of the show. Part of the reason it was confusing is that I started to think that Rand Paul is actually one of a set of quadruplets. Each quad had his own differing opinion on the situation in Syria. Here's a quick rundown on the various positions of Rand Paul and his identical siblings. (I'm not sure which opinion goes with which sibling. Try to sort that out for yourself later.)

1. No diplomacy.
2. Can't do nothing.
3. No to the the President's plan.
4. No to regime change.

This is how one of the Rand Pauls described Rand Paul.

"I think he's been a little bit here, little bit there, and a little bit everywhere. I don't think he makes any sense."

Stephen agreed with that Rand Paul.

Controversies and outrage are ever so popular nowadays. Not a day goes by that you can't get a cup of controversy with that cup of coffee and a bowl of outrage with that bowl of oatmeal. The latest is a photo of President Barack Obama with his foot on his desk.  Apparently he shouldn't do that. Never mind that we have photos of George W. Bush doing that and Gerald Ford doing that. And he's not wearing a suit jacket either. What do you suppose that if he was wearing his suit jacket in the photo there would be complaints that he's wasting money on air conditioning when he could just ease back on the AC by not wearing his suit jacket when he's not meeting with someone important?

Stephen demonstrated how easy it is to find controversy, outrage and conspiracy where there is none. You can do it too. Just look at any photo of a prominent political person and then find something in that photo that reminds you of something that reminds you of something else and then twist that around. Okay, it sounds difficult, but it's easier than you might think. Just practice and you will get better.

Stephen's guest last night was Sheryl Crow. He interviewed her and she sang and yes, there's a bonus song over at Colbert Nation. I am still waiting for the day when an interview with a musician is done musically. That just makes sense.