Sunshine and Sailboats; Smelly and Slimy and Stinky - Shocking!

Thursday's show was pretty darn good. I think that may have been because I ate a whole carton of Americone Dream while I watched it. If you have never tasted that scrumptious flavor of ice cream, you are in for a treat. Just head over to the local grocery store and buy yourself a carton of Americone Dream. Americone Dream - it's what's for dinner. Oh, and Stephen's Americone Dream was featured prominently on Breaking Bad! So, that's good.

Crossfire, all new, returns to TV on CNN. Better than that, though, is Stephen's version of Pointless Counter Pointless with --- I'm thinking liberal and conservative pundits --- Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch. I'm not sure which one is the liberal and which one is the conservative, but I'm pretty sure neither one was a tea drinker.

Now, some people may think Big Bird and Oscar are not up to the difficult questions Stephen typically throws out at any of his guests. But Big Bird was ready when Stephen tried to get the feathers flying.

"The whole idea of the show is disagreement. Okay? I need you to argue."

"No," said Big Bird.

"What? You won't do that?"

"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to argue with you." So, Big Bird is man enough to stand up to Stephen by being disagreeable about arguing. It's beyond circular logic, it's spherical logic.

And it eventually caused Stephen to come unglued. "I don't want to calm down. This is the worst debate show ever." Then he sunk down behind his desk to hide and cry. Poor Stephen.

Science fiction, fantasy, fables and fairy tales are very popular genres for literature, even for children's literature. And now for something completely different. Rush Limbaugh, Mike Huckabee, and Callista Gingrich, have all written children's books. Of course we all know how much children like make-believe. Stephen just had to jump in to this sweet pot of kiddy lit and write a series of historical fiction books. "Stephen-tsy Ross Sews the Flag of History." Unlike some of the other books that featured a elephant or a horse as the sidekick, Stephen has the most patriotic sidekick, an eagle named Tax Cut. Yesterday I went down to my local Barnes & Noble and bought the whole series of Stephen's books. I can tell you they are going to end up on the best seller list. They are just that good. Who doesn't love a little bit of fantasy now and then?

It sure seemed like Animal Night for Stephen. Big Birds, Grouches, elephants, horses and eagles. Even the guest was all about an animal. SHARK. Wait wait wait! I didn't mean there is a shark coming to get you. No, calm down. The guest was Chris Fischer and he is promoting sharks. Before you get all hot and bothered like Stephen did, realize this. Every day about 200,000 sharks are killed by people. Every year about 2 people are killed by sharks.

They had a lively discussion. But enough about that. Go to the website Ocearch.org and read about sharks. They are not cute like pandas, but they are important, very important. If we lose them, we lose the ocean. And we need the ocean. Ocearch is about Ocean Research. What is happening to the sharks? You can read about that here.

So stop reading my blog and go over to Ocearch now. And did I mention that you can track sharks at the Shark Tracker? It's right up there in the top right corner of the Ocearch website. Right now, April seems to be over near East Hampton.

Big Bird Wins 83% of Votes

My poll is over and the results are in. If Stephen Colbert was unable to be the host on The Colbert Report, 83% voted for Big Bird and 16% voted for Mitt Romney to fill in as host.

It seems like common sense that Big Bird would fill in. Just think of Stephen Colbert standing next to Big Bird. They look so much alike in that both are good looking. They both have lots of friends. Many important and influential people make guest appearances on both of their shows.

Stephen is a Conservative. And Big Bird, while not politically active, seems to share some of the same qualities as Stephen. I found this article in Time by James Poniewozik about Big Bird.

Of course, Stephen is very healthy and loves his work, so other than the occasional time off when he does things such as going on boat rides, I don't foresee him missing a show and needing a substitute host. But if that happens, Big Bird would be the obvious choice.

Blame Big Bird

It seems to be that one thing that stands out from the first presidential debates. I am of course talking about Mitt Romney saying he likes Big Bird, but he doesn't seem to want to pay Big Bird's wages anymore. Well, this has caused an uproar, or maybe upsquawk would be the proper term.

Big Bird is very famous. He is a television icon. He is a movie star. He even has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! (Who else has a star there? Ronald Reagan.) And he is loved by millions. Millions of moms who enjoyed watching Sesame Street with millions of kid who are now of voting age. Millions of dads who pretended to be the Count when teaching their own kids how to count their toes and fingers. Millions of grandparents who are on Medicare but still want their grandchildren to be able to enjoy all the fun and educational benefits of Sesame Street.

So, was this another gaffe?  I think so. It's people in the 47% that look to Big Bird and Sesame Street for the type of learning for their kids that might be out of reach for their finances. Perhaps they can't afford a nursery school for their small children, but they can turn on Sesame Street and watch with their kids while Big Bird and his many friends teach the alphabet, counting, important concepts such as "Near/Far," and just getting along with the people in your neighborhood.

Who else is as beloved as Big Bird? Who else is a television icon? Who else is a movie star? Who else is loved by millions? Oh, yeah. It's Stephen Colbert. How would we feel, how would this country survive without Stephen Colbert keeping us informed of all that matters in this world, if he was no longer on The Colbert Report? That brings it down to the gut level that we all can relate to.

Who do you think is more connected with the voters, with the television audience, with moms and pops and kids and grandparents? Well, here's one way to find out. I'll put up a poll. No, not a presidential poll. We all know Big Bird is too young to be president, plus, he is non-partisan. But what about this? Suppose Stephen were sick one night and could not do The Colbert Report. One solution would be reruns of previous episodes. Have they ever considered a substitute host for a night or two, just until Stephen got over his illness? (Remarkably, Stephen has not missed a show due to illness as far as I can remember. How does he stay in such good health?)

Okay, here it is. If Stephen were sick and could not do the show, who would you rather watch, Big Bird or Mitt Romney?

And just in case you don't know how serious this is, if you have the fortitude for it, go look at this.