Cantaloupe Calves

Is nothing what it seems any more? The Town Crier who so eloquently, if unintelligibly, yelled out that the Royal Baby had been born, is apparently fake. Okay, he is real, but he is not a real Town Crier for London or for the Royalty. His name is Tony Appleton and he does weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs. I don't know quite what he does at those events, maybe he just yells. He took it upon himself to announce the news and it certainly looked like he had a jolly good time doing it.

In another city in another country, Detroit could use a good Town Crier. You know, someone to yell at people to get going, get stuff done, take care of each other. Detroit is officially bankrupt and everyone is blaming the problems on the Unions. This is bad news for retirees who were counting on their "lavish" pensions that average $19,000.

On the show to tell Stephen about how Detroit is going to survive was Stephen Henderson of the Detroit Free Press. He is optimistic. Stephen Colbert suggested everyone in Detroit get malaria so that Bill Gates would come in and save the town. You probably know that everyone is suggesting that the Detroit Institute of Arts sell off its treasures. Stephen Henderson is not a fan of that because, well all those things are treasures of Detroit.  Stephen Colbert  believes manufacturing is a thing of the past in Detroit. Stephen Henderson believes manufacturing is a thing of the future in Detroit.

Steve King (is everything tonight about Stephens and Stevens?) is fond of saying all sorts of things. Recently he claimed that young illegals weigh 130 pounds, have calves like cantaloupes and are hauling drugs across the desert.

He also recently compared immigrants to dogs, according to some people. Friend of the show and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos recently asked Steve King about his comments. No no no no. Jorge Ramos had it all wrong. Steve King was "celebrating" legal immigrants with his comments.

It's easy to understand. For example, Stephen called Steve King a tool. That is a compliment. A tool is a useful implement.No need for Steven King to be offended by that.

Senator Olympia Snowe was on the show as the guest. I think she was scheduled to be on earlier this year but things happened and she was not on until now. She is a rare creature, a moderate Republican. She brought diversity to the Republican party, i.e. political diversity. They both agreed that many moderate Republicans are in the closet. She has a book out, "Fighting For Common Ground - How We Can Fix the Stalemate In Congress."

Stephen handed her a challenge. "Getting something done. Sell me on it."

Whoa! Then Stephen threw some challenging stuff at her. John Boehner recently said that the job of Congress is not to pass laws, it's to repeal them. Mitch McConnell had as a goal making Barack Obama a one-term president. Neither man said anything about getting something done.

Stephen and Olympia Snowe disagreed further. She thinks the purpose of being in public office is to get something done. He thinks the purpose is of being in public office is to stay in public office.

(As if that isn't enough to disagree on, she doesn't think Stephen should have been able to have a Super PAC)

Even tougher question for her, considering how important it is to her to get something done - "Why did you leave the Senate?"

"Because the polarization wasn't going to diminish, and I wanted to take my fight outside of the Senate."

(Be sure to go to that link about Olympia Snowe. You can see a photo of the huge snowman built in her honor. Just scroll down the page a bit.)

Poop Power - I Have a Business Card

The big news in the world is how many followers @PrezBillyJeff has. Last night Stephen noted that in just 24 hours, Billy Jeff Clinton has 88,076 followers. Now there are 131,717 and that will probably go up by the time I'm done writing this post. It is the epitome of the famous "The Colbert Bump." Also of interest to the Colbert Nation would be to follow the Clinton Foundation Twitter Feed  @ClintonTweet .

Most of you reading this did not attend the Clinton Global Initiative University in St. Louis. I wasn't there so I'm just assuming that you weren't either. I wish I had gone. Stephen talked about Jessica Matthews. She designed a soccer ball that generates electricity while you play soccer with it. After half an hour of playing soccer, it could keep a light bulb lit for three hours. Stephen met up with Bill Clinton and Chelsea Clinton at the CGIU Exchange Fair. It was a great opportunity for him to learn more about the innovative young minds coming up with the projects. We saw how to extract drinkable water from air, and football helmets with sensors to detect injuries. Of course, not everyone who plays football suffers from injuries. Stephen played football and he never suffered any injuries. Other projects include helping farmers in Columbia grow their product (tea) and market it here. Also of interest is the Humanure Power Project. Again, another source of power that has been under-utilized.

Stephen was so inspired by the young people, but also disappointed that each project only addressed one problem. To lead the way, Stephen demonstrated his model volcano that symbolized how he would solve many of today's problems or address today's goals, including  Public Health, Peace, Human Rights, Climate Change, Poverty, and the Environment. There were many people who witnessed Stephen's demonstration of his Volcano Metaphor Project, but none were more impressed than Stephen himself. His applause was so heartfelt that there was no need for anyone else to applaud. And indeed, neither Bill Clinton, nor Chelsea Clinton, nor the thirty or so young creative innovators watching applauded.

In the next segment, I learned something I had not known before. The pilgrims landed in Mayflower, Arkansas. Oops that's wrong, It was in Little Rock. Whichever place they landed, it was definitely Arkansas because they came over on an ark. Anyway, you may remember that oil spill in Mayflower, Arkansas. Exxon thinks of it as more of a free oil giveaway than an oil spill. The good news is that we are not seeing much more damage. That's because the area is off limits (as in you will be arrested) to reporters and photographers. And there is a no-fly zone over the area. But still, quilted paper towels are being used to clean up the oil as well as pushing it down storm drains so that the oil will head over to wetlands where it can mingle with nature.

Stephen's guest last night was a Detroiter or is it Detroitite, Detroitan, a Detroitman? Oh  of course - Detroit native Charlie LeDuff taking with Stephen about his book "Detroit - An American Autopsy." He warns that we need to pay attention to Detroit learn lessons from what has happened there. The auto industry is booming, that is the companies are doing fine. But the jobs have been shipped overseas. There is concern on his part that if we don't invest in our children, in our cities, we are going to see more instances of decline.

Now for an update. The followers for @PrezBillyJeff are now up to a whopping 132,725. That's more than one  thousand new followers in just the time it took me to write this post. Keep following fans, keep following.

Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome

Last night, Stephen Colbert poked fun at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Actually he called it the Minneapolis Metrodome if I remember correctly.

Anyway, there was a lot of snow in Minneapolis, as well as across the whole Midwest. That can be a headache, what with the shoveling and the plowing and the snowballs and things like that. But it was an especially big headache for the Metrodome and the Vikings. They were scheduled to play against the Giants on December 12. Unfortunately, the Metrodome roof ripped and then deflated from the weight of the snow.

It's unfortunate, but at least it wasn't during a game or other event when there might have been lots of people on the Mall of America Field. The game was postponed and eventually played in Detroit! The Giants won, but the Vikings came in at second place.

Anyway, the photo shows the roof of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in better days. The roof is intact and as a bonus, you can see the pre-game show by the University of Minnesota Marching Band (the Pride of Minnesota) before a Gopher Game. The roof is quite inflated. The lights and speakers are high above the field and there are no rips.

There's talk, (well there's always talk) of building a new stadium for the Vikings. Maybe it will happen, maybe not. But it got me to wondering, what will they do with this stadium? Will they abandon it? Will they build something else on the site? If you look at the photo, the top half of seating is above ground level, and the lower half is below ground level. Presumably when the stadium was built, lots of dirt was hauled away. Will they bring that dirt back? Perhaps the best thing would be that when another stadium is built, they just bring that dirt here. Even if the Vikings move to another state, they would need a stadium there, so the dirt could just be transported from that state to Minnesota. That makes sense.