Just Say I'm Fat

I have never gotten one of my Op Eds published in the New York Times and yet they published this by Vladimir V. Putin! I don't know why he should get published when I never have gotten published in the New York Times. It's not fair. What also is not fair is the photo of Putin by the American flag that looks extremely similar to one of Stephen Colbert by the American flag. Even the tie they are wearing is the same. Stephen had some very revealing research on this. I urge you to watch this episode at  Colbert Nation if you did not catch it on live TV.

In one of the more popular segments, Better Know a District, tonight Stephen visited with Democratic Representative from Washington's 7th Congressional District, Jim McDermott. The 7th District includes Seattle which includes Pike Place Market but I'm not even going to talk about the salmon incident. They talked popular culture for a bit and then Stephen drilled him on  his various stances on the issues. For one thing, he omits the phrase "under God" when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. For another thing, he supported the overturning of DOMA and yet isn't willing to make out with Stephen. This made Stephen think it must be because he's fat. It made him feel sad.

Philip Mudd, a former CIA analyst, was Stephen's guest. He was one of the more decisive guests Stephen has had. There was no wishy-washy about his answers to the questions Stephen threw at him. Interestingly enough he doesn't own a TV. "TV turns our brain into Cotton Candy." Stephen pointed out that, "We're not on Broadway right now." In fact, Philip Mudd hasn't even heard of Reading Rainbow! But he has written a book, "Takedown: Inside the Hunt for Al Qaeda," which he of course hopes you will buy.

Okay, Now I'm Hungry

There was a lot of talk about food tonight. First was Stephen's delicacies for a super party for Super Tuesday, highlighted by his Republican Salsa made mostly of mayonnaise with just a touch of Miracle Whip. Margaritas were on hand and were quite well blended, although they did taste a bit salty.

Food was important but let's not forget what Super Tuesday is all about. It's about the blue collar worker. Stephen excited his audience when he transformed into an average Joe blue collar worker complete with a lunchbox and actual blue collar. He was not willing to go out on a limb and predict the outcome of all the Primaries today. I'm sure he will talk about it tomorrow. Vladimir Putin however did quite well over in Russia, even getting 99.82% of the vote in Chechnya which turns out to be a 107% voter turnout. Now that is popularity.

And back to food again. For chocolate lovers, something to cry about. Mars has announced that in order to promote more responsible snacking, they will be scaling back the size on candy bars so that they will contain no more than 250 calories per candy bar. (Stephen's easy solution -- eat three candy bars.) Breakfast lovers have something to celebrate, though. Some folks are suggesting that we eat two breakfasts. Whether that is doctors or diners who suggest it, I'm not sure, but Stephen didn't stop with two breakfasts. He was able to come up with a multitude of meals, as many as eighteen meals each day to satisfy you. Stephen got hungry just talking about all this and I must admit, so did I. Where is that Halloween candy when you need it?

Jonathan Safran Foer was on the show to discuss with Stephen his latest book, "New American Haggadah." It's basically a new user's manual for Passover. Since everyone in the family sitting at the dinner table might have a copy of the Haggadah, Stephen thought this was an excellent choice for the author to write. Hopefully Stephen's new book will also attract a lot of readers.