It's no secret that I turn to the Journalism Guru over at the The Colbert Report when I need up-to-the-minute news reporting. Stephen Colbert has all the trophies to prove his superiority, yet others keep trying to gain an advantage. Recently, Fox updated their news room with Big Area Touchscreens or BATS.
Well, that doesn't compare at all to the size of stuff over at the Colbert Studios. Stephen uses Big Unbelievably Large LED Super Hyper Information Technology. And, he has Feline Media Managers. It's a complicated yet streamlined process whereby important news goes to the Print Center, then to the News Separator. Next it is upshoveled to the Kinetic Journal Chamber where a journalist hand selects the most relevant news. (Is it just me or does that journalist in the Kinetic Journal Chamber look more like an art teacher than a journalist?) News is delivered to Stephen by Mr. Falcon and then Stephen feeds it to Mr. Tweetbot, the Social Media Coordinator.
So, after all this news gathering and digesting, we found out this important news story:
Miley Cyrus has gone too far.
Oops, after a verification process, we found out that Miley Cyrus has not gone too far. In a sad turn of events, we had to actually watch Stephen being unverified.
Luckily, Stephen survived being unverified and came back after the break. As proof of the journalistic talent and also investigative reporting skill of Stephen Colbert and his team of news makers and takers, we found out that yes, there is some graffiti on the walls of the Colbert Report Studio and surprisingly it was not done by Banksy. Through clever thinking and analysis, Stephen reported that it was actually Tom Hanks, or Hanksy, that did the artffiti. I would not have expected that from Tom Hanks.
Stephen welcomed Reed Albergotti and Vanessa O'Connell to the show to talk about bicycles. Actually, they talked about their book, "Wheelmen: Lance Armstrong, the Tour de France, and the Greatest Sports Conspiracy Ever."
They combined their knowledge of white collar crime and dope to come up with the scoop on Lance Armstrong. Stephen doesn't think it's such a big deal because it's not as if it was the Tour de America. The story though is about all the conspiracy and secrets and lying.
We got to learn about all sorts of ways to dope and not dope. One would hope that there will maybe be more scrutiny in the future. One can hope.
* In case you didn't know, Stephen is on break this week. This post is about last Thursday's show.
Showing posts with label Lance Armstrong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lance Armstrong. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Macaque Attack
Lance Armstrong has finally come clean and Oprah got the big interview. But since she kept the interview under wraps until air time, Stephen had to make stuff up. It was a great example of creative editing and illustrated clearly how careful we all have to be about taking things out of context.
In a Monkey on the Lam update, the monkey has been caught. If you look at this link about the monkey, you will notice that Stephen Colbert is mentioned!
Stephen had a short segment about music lovers, and then on to the interview. Jared Diamond, who I must say, dresses more colorfully than anyone I remember seeing on the show. At least, more colorfully in a conventional suit. But that doesn't matter. His recent book, "The World Until Yesterday" is one of those books that has people longing for the good old days. And we are talking really old days. Stephen learned that he could impress people of some of these traditional cultures with electric can openers. If you aren't familiar with Jared Diamond, he looks exactly like the mascot of the Fighting Irish.
In a Monkey on the Lam update, the monkey has been caught. If you look at this link about the monkey, you will notice that Stephen Colbert is mentioned!
Stephen had a short segment about music lovers, and then on to the interview. Jared Diamond, who I must say, dresses more colorfully than anyone I remember seeing on the show. At least, more colorfully in a conventional suit. But that doesn't matter. His recent book, "The World Until Yesterday" is one of those books that has people longing for the good old days. And we are talking really old days. Stephen learned that he could impress people of some of these traditional cultures with electric can openers. If you aren't familiar with Jared Diamond, he looks exactly like the mascot of the Fighting Irish.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Attractive Default Expression
Fans of The Colbert Report may be surprised to learn that a Parachute is Not Included. You've been warned.
Stephen watched the Presidential Debate last night and admitted to playing a drinking game. You know how that always turns out. We did learn that basically (n)+4 years=4 years more than (n). No surprise there. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney was depressed that he didn't get to play back-up acoustic guitar on Barack Obama's successful Apology Tour. Brit Hume awarded the coveted "Attractive Default Expression" to Mitt Romney. For a while, I thought Stephen was going to spend the rest of the show just gazing at Mitt's Attractive Default Expression, but luckily, as Stephen often says, "moving on. "
Nell was featured for a short segment on the show. She is apparently one of the Undecided Voters. The typical Undecided is a single white female, 18-29 years old, employed but has a low income, comes from a Union household, didn't graduate from college, is Protestant but doesn't go to church, and most likely skipped watching the debate. After learning all that, we also learned that she while she is happy, she is still undecided.
Anyone who rides bicycles is most certainly aware that Lance Armstrong has been having some problems lately. Fans of the show will of course know that Stephen started his own Wriststrong charity to highlight wrist injuries. He explained in some detail certain aspects of his own life in colorful detail and his decision and the rationale behind that decision to step down as Chairman of Wriststrong. He will remain on the Board of Directors, and as the only person on the Board, will serve as interim Chairman. Friends of Colbert Nation will remember that the Wriststrong bracelets help raise money for the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
Just one more thing. Stephen will still keep his title, The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World but now he will be putting two large asterisks after it, so it will now be The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World**.
Stephen's guest was John Grisham who brought his newest book, "The Racketeer." Stephen mentioned another author, Stephen King, and although it's not a contest, Stephen King is winning with 48 books compared to John Grisham's 30 books. Stephen Colbert did say that "The Racketeer" is a great book. John Grisham said, "It's brilliant." Even though neither man is a comedian, the discussion seemed to generate more than the usual amount of laughter from the audience.
Stephen watched the Presidential Debate last night and admitted to playing a drinking game. You know how that always turns out. We did learn that basically (n)+4 years=4 years more than (n). No surprise there. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney was depressed that he didn't get to play back-up acoustic guitar on Barack Obama's successful Apology Tour. Brit Hume awarded the coveted "Attractive Default Expression" to Mitt Romney. For a while, I thought Stephen was going to spend the rest of the show just gazing at Mitt's Attractive Default Expression, but luckily, as Stephen often says, "moving on. "
Nell was featured for a short segment on the show. She is apparently one of the Undecided Voters. The typical Undecided is a single white female, 18-29 years old, employed but has a low income, comes from a Union household, didn't graduate from college, is Protestant but doesn't go to church, and most likely skipped watching the debate. After learning all that, we also learned that she while she is happy, she is still undecided.
Anyone who rides bicycles is most certainly aware that Lance Armstrong has been having some problems lately. Fans of the show will of course know that Stephen started his own Wriststrong charity to highlight wrist injuries. He explained in some detail certain aspects of his own life in colorful detail and his decision and the rationale behind that decision to step down as Chairman of Wriststrong. He will remain on the Board of Directors, and as the only person on the Board, will serve as interim Chairman. Friends of Colbert Nation will remember that the Wriststrong bracelets help raise money for the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
Just one more thing. Stephen will still keep his title, The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World but now he will be putting two large asterisks after it, so it will now be The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World**.
Stephen's guest was John Grisham who brought his newest book, "The Racketeer." Stephen mentioned another author, Stephen King, and although it's not a contest, Stephen King is winning with 48 books compared to John Grisham's 30 books. Stephen Colbert did say that "The Racketeer" is a great book. John Grisham said, "It's brilliant." Even though neither man is a comedian, the discussion seemed to generate more than the usual amount of laughter from the audience.
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