Very Very Big, Very Big

Let's get right to it. Donald Trump has been talking. His latest promotion is this: If President Barack Obama shows some assorted college and passport papers to Donald Trump, then Donald Trump promises he will give $5,000,000 to a charity of President Barack Obama's choice. There is a caveat. (Neat that he used that term considering who the guest was later in the show.) It must be by 5:00 p.m. (Neat again - another Latin term!) on October 31, 2012. If Obama does this, Trump will be totally satisfied.

Stephen has a generous and selfless counter-offer for Donald Trump with an offer of $1,000,000 from the Colbert Super PAC to any charity. All Trump has to do is basically just relax and stop talking for a little while. Let his cares melt away. Be one with the world. There is, however,  a similar caveat from Stephen. It also must happen by 5:00 p.m. on Halloween.

Is it possible to show a link between FOX, a bunch of questions, and a vigorous exercise routine? I think so and Stephen demonstrated how that could be done last night. He brought up the topic of Libya and then immediately showed many of the FOX newsypeople asking questions, such as, "Who?" "What"? "Why?" and "How?" (They forgot When and Where, but that was a few weeks ago in Libya.) Stephen asked a very important question. "If you put a statement in the form of a question, is that journalism?" We also got to see FOX Legal Analyst Peter Johnson, Jr. (or Richard Richard Richard as Stephen pointed out), admit, "I have no evidence of this."

But this whole question and question session was also a demonstration of what I assume is Stephen's exercise regimen that keeps his 6-pack firing on all six cylinders. He power-walked the studio. He danced down the steps. He climbed monkey bars. He tread on a treadmill. Even after this vigorous workout, he was still able to keep on with journalism by asking one last question. "But ultimately, the question is, how many questions do we have to ask before voters forget? President Obama killed Osama bin Laden."

Moving from journalism to politics, Stephen brought out his "Days Without a GOP Rape Mention" board. It had been at 13, but he had to erase that, write in a 0 (zero), sniff the marker before putting the cap back on it, and continue with his explanation. The latest GOP personality to blunder into the rape controversy is Richard Mourdock, Indiana candidate for U.S. Senate. He has said that even when a pregnancy results from rape, it is something that God intended to happen.

Stephen reminded us why he has to keep track on his "Days Without a GOP Rape Mention" board. There's Todd Akin with his "...the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down..." comment, Steve King who never heard of a girl getting pregnant from statutory rape, Tom Smith who equated rape with out of wedlock pregnancy, and Roger Rivard who offered advice that "... some girls, they rape so easy..."

"Well, some political careers they end so quickly," reported Stephen.  He calls them Team Rape. Stephen admits they probably don't appreciate that designation, but, "Come on, they're kinda asking for it."

Stephen felt the need to remind his fellow conservatives that in 1920, women won the right to vote. He then offered great advice to these fellow conservative men should they ever be in a conversation and feel the need to say something about rape. This was so important that he told them to go grab a pencil. He proceeded to give them wonderful advice, advice that should spare them the awkward positions they might get in by talking about rape or abortion.

Sadly this advice comes to late for Richard Mourdock. His campaign is in shambles, but Stephen realized this is just something God intended to happen.

Stephen's guest was not ancient, but he did talk about an ancient culture - the Romans. Anthony Everitt joined Stephen and he knows a whole lot about ancient Rome and has written many books. The most recent is "The Rise of Rome - the Making of the World's Greatest Empire." Although you might think someone who wrote about the ancient Romans would be all stuffy and boring, I actually think there was more humor and back and forth banter than with someone who is a movie star or comedian. Both men were obviously experts about Rome and Romans. Good times.

Isaac to Trump: You're Fired

First off, I want to say what great opening credits those are for this week's "Tampa 2012 - America Strikes Back." Someone should make a movie.

Two things are going on in the country now. The Republican National Convention in Tampa and Hurricane Isaac in the Gulf Coast. Because of one of these events, the other event had to change its course. And since it's pretty hard to make a hurricane change course, you have probably figured out that its the Republican Convention that changed course. Well, changed its schedule, so almost the same thing. As a result, Donald "The Donald" Trump did not get to give his speech. Here was about the only platform where Donald Trump would be able to share his views and he lost out on that chance. When will we ever get to hear him talk again? I just don't know.

Other speakers have canceled in order to go back to their states and be there for the hurricane: Governors Rick Scott of Florida, Robert Bentley of Alabama and Phil Bryant of Mississippi. That's okay, there are plenty of other people at the Convention. Chris Christie will give the keynote speech, Paul Ryan will accept the Vice Presidential nomination and Marco Rubio is Hispanic. Time permitting, Mitt Romney will speak.

The most important thing happening at the Convention isn't happening in Tampa. It is happening online, on the Internet over at Colbert Nation. Stephen mentioned that Tampa is known for its strip bars and they are expecting to do a brisk business form delegates. Therefore security is tight. Everyone should have a security pass and so everyone should go here to get their Tampa 2012: America Strikes Back All-Access Pass. Even if you choose not to get one, you should at least go look at the choices on the form. You will find out a lot about yourself just by the choices you make.

You will need to fill in the usual things, your name, your sexuality, your most urgent lower taxes priority, your home state, your summer home state, your ski home state and your tax haven country. Also you will be asked to vote for your favorite Repetitive Republican.

You may remember that Todd Akin made waves last week with his statements that reflected his knowledge of how the female body works. Stephen tried to clear up all the confusion with his Hoo-Ha Lady Zone 5000. He was able to lay it all out for us to show the workings of the female reproductive system, including the dragon that guards the entrance. Good. Now we know. If you need any more info, just stop by any strip joint.

Stephen also talked briefly about Rep. Steve King, Congressman from Iowa, (not to be confused with Stephen King who talks about and writes about scary stuff). Rep. King defended Akin and Stephen shared videos of Rep. King being so fair and balanced that he will say one thing and then say the opposite. I think he's supporting both sides of an issue. Stephen Colbert just thinks Rep. King can't hear what comes out of his mouth.

The guest was Andrew Sullivan, political conservative and Editor of The Dish over at The Daily Beast. He claims to be a conservative. Yet he supports Barack Obama for President, even more so than he did when Barack Obama first ran in 2008. But that's just because the other party has gotten nutsier than they were the last time around. This was indeed an interesting discussion by two conservatives, talking about the upcoming presidential election.

I'm pretty sure we will hear more in the coming days about this election. It's just a feeling I have.