Pussy Riot

It's February and Stephen reminded us what that means. It's Black History Month and also Children's Dental Health Month. Remember to floss.

Stephen's blood is boiling and just because Evidence "Exists." David Wildstein supposedly has evidence that Chris Christie knew about the lane closures while they were happening. But, can we believe what David Wildstein says? Is he trustworthy. Some would say he isn't.

On the show to give us some background on the two men was their first grade teacher, Mrs. Lutemeyer (sp?). She shared that David was not the most endearing student, somewhat of a ruffian, while Christopher was such a joy. Students like him are why she teaches. But when she started reading from a script, Stephen became suspicious that she was not being completely honest with him. She broke down and revealed that she was afraid after two lunch lines were closed and the class goldfish died suddenly. Luckily, Stephen offered her asylum at the studio.

Last night's guests were Masha Alekhina and Nadya Tolokonnikova of Pussy Riot. Also there was Anna to act as the interpreter since Stephen only speaks English. It was one of the longest interview segments I remember seeing on the show. Perhaps that was because the questions and answers would take longer due to the language barrier.

I find it interesting that just one night after his expose of the Coca Cola ad which had languages other than English that Stephen would have guests that spoke a language other than English. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed listening to the discussion. I find different languages fascinating. Still, I wondered why Stephen didn't stick to English Only guests.

I also found it somewhat amusing that last night's interview was so different from the night before with Jennifer Senior. In that interview, Stephen dominated the conversation and had his guest laughing at many of his comments. In last night's interview, Stephen would try to get in a laugh but was usually upstaged. He would come back with a quick quip, only to be upstaged yet again.

One of the reasons Masha Alekhina and Nadya Tolokonnikova are here in the US is to tour prisons and to talk to human rights activists. Stephen noted that our prisons are just wonderful.

The actual number of members of Pussy Riot is a secret but apparently Stephen could be in Pussy Riot. Stephen complimented the two on their decision to use English words for the name of the band. They explained to Stephen about the extensive choice of vocabulary in the Russian language.

So, it was a great cultural exchange last night. Stephen seemed to fit right in with Pussy Riot. Everyone had a great time. If you didn't get to see it, head over to Colbert Nation.

I Actually Was The Guy Working the Cones Out There

Stephen talked more about Bridgegate and Chris Christie. There seems to be talk about payback in the sense that "It's my way or I shut down your highway." That is coming because of the email from Bridget Anne Kelly to David Wildstein on August 13 of 2013 that said,

"Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee."

David Wildstein replied to Bridget Anne Kelly,

"Got it."

Some are claiming that this shows preplanning of this deliberate traffic jam. But isn't it also possible that it shows an incredible talent for communication? Could it perhaps be that the two of them, Bridget Anne Kelly and David Wildstein are so tuned in to each other and their jobs that they hardly need to use any words at all in order for one to understand exactly what the other one is talking about?

I just know we will hear about this for at least one more day or so. Especially since the main fallout from all of this is that Chris Christie is sad.

Robert M. Gates has a new book out called "Duty: Memoirs of a Secretary at War." Stephen informed us that Duty would drop this week. It has created quite a buzz and Stephen tells us that Duty is on everyone's lips. Even though the book hadn't been out yet last week, a little bit of Duty has leaked out and is raising quite a stink.

Stephen's guest last Thursday night was Jeff Skoll. You may know him from Participant Media. If you did not watch the most recent episode of The Colbert Report, you should go watch it, either on your TiVo type device or online at Colbert Nation. He is quite an impressive guy, and the type of guy who gives millions of dollars to worthy causes. One of those worthy causes we were told was Colbert Super PAC, so that's a good thing.

Call Me Ishmael

Last night Stephen talked briefly about Bridgegate and Chris Christie. He promised he will have more team coverage on tonight's show. There are lots of articles floating around on the internet, so I'll just link to the first one I found here.

In medical news, tiny tiny magnets are in our future of health care but the whole idea made me a little uneasy so I'm not going to talk about it other than to mention that Prescott Pharmaceutical has improved Stephen's Formula 401. It is now Formula 4010101001.

How cold is it? While most journalists simply threw hot water out in the cold air to demonstrate, I don't know maybe science.... a creative journalist, Rachel Slavik in the Cherokee Heights Park area of St. Paul, Minnesota, demonstrated just how cold it is by hammering a nail into a board using a frozen banana. Now that is what I call real science that you can use!

And by the way, Al Roker showed everyone that the term "polar vortex" is at least as old as 1959. "So stuff it," he advised all the naysayers.


Ishmael Beah was Stephen's guest last night. It was an uplifting interview which seems hard to believe since Ishmael Beah spent his early teen years as a child soldier in Sierra Leone. He describes himself as a hopeful person. It was Unicef that removed him from the fighting. As frightening as that experience was for a young boy, he admitted he also finds the cold weather in New York's wintertime also quite scary. He previously wrote the book "A Long Way Gone." His newest book is "Radiance of Tomorrow."

Filled With Information

CBS 60 Minutes recently had a segment about Benghazi which turned out to have few facts and very little truthiness. Gretchen Carlson bragged on Fox News that they reported this less than factual information months ago. And I didn't know this, but Fox News has a motto. Stephen posted it for us to see. "We Report But You Should Really Check With Someone Else." In order to get the entire scoop about the fiasco at CBS 60 Minutes, Stephen interviewed a college intern who was disguised and using the alias of Poncho DeNews. It's good to get your news from sources who actually know what happened. Credit to Stephen for doing journalism the right way.

In the "I'm Not Running For President in 2016" segment, Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey, was highlighted. He is on every TV news outlet you can find, reminding everyone that he is not even thinking about 2016 because he is focused on being the Governor of New Jersey. Just in case you have any doubts, Chris Christie has reminded all of us that 143,000 private sector jobs have been created in New Jersey. If you haven't heard him say that, you are not paying attention.

The guest last Monday (and sorry about being behind on posting....) was Peter Baker. He has a book out, "Days of Fire, Bush and Cheney in the White House" which is about bush and Cheney. Things were not always rosy with them. Take a look at the link. It gives you a good idea of what's in the book.

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme

First post of August when we start realizing that summer is coming to an end. Yikes! Of course, we could have nice weather until November. One can hope.

Anyway, Bradley Manning, the least athletic of the Manning brothers, has been in the news lately. We learn that Hillary Clinton could possibly maybe perhaps be thinking of running for President in 2016. I think that would be neat. Enough of the sons of Presidents also becoming President. It's time for a spouse of a former President to also be elected to that high office. If not Hillary, then maybe Barbara?

Remember how I talked about the humility contest going on between Ted Cruz and Stephen Colbert? Now there seems to be, I'm not quite sure, but perhaps a Bacon Eating Contest going on between Chris Christie and Rand Paul. Oh, wait, I have it wrong. It's about who gets more bacon and by bacon I mean money from Washington, from the Feds, in other words our tax money. Funny story. For every dollar that Chris Christie's state (New Jersey) sends to Washington, only 61 cents comes back to New Jersey. Rand Paul has it way better. Kentucky sends one thin dollar to Washington and whoa! gets back a whopping $1.51. Seems like Rand Paul is getting bacon and also pork.

Board Games are apparently now considered Bored Games and so they are being jazzed up, spiffed up, and toned down so that kids and families will play them. I think this is a terrible trend. Monopoly is going to do away with "Go to Jail!"  Or not as the case may be. Stephen went through a whole lot of games and how they are being ruined (my word, not his) by this constant updating and changing of stuff that works just fine so why do you have to go and change it anyway for crying out loud! Are we going to see a Checkers board with only 36 squares? I suppose they will do away with the Queen in Chess. (GOP War on Women????) Will Hopscotch become Jogscotch?

Some say this has to do with the shortened attention span of kids today. Well then, teach them how to play a board game that lasts for more than ten minutes. You are not born with an attention span, you have to develop it. If you only have thirty minutes, then play the game, leave it on the table in the dining room or basement until tomorrow. Or, put it away, keeping track of who had Boardwalk and who had Marvin Gardens, and put your money in a pile. Finish the Monopoly game later. It can be done.

I just had to join in with Stephen and talk about this horrible assault on traditional board game values. I'm glad I was able to clear the air on that subject.

The guest last night was Emily Matchar. She helped Stephen understand the new and yet traditional roles for women. What was old is new again. Her book is "Homeward Bound - Why Women Are Embracing the New Domesticity." Personally, I had hoped she would teach Stephen how to can tomatoes or at least how to knit a scarf. But they did talk about people, not just women, getting back to doing all sorts of tasks for themselves. I wonder if there is a pickle recipe in the book. That would be delicious.

Scooby Gate

Politifact is one of those websites that keeps everyone on their toes with honesty. Recently, Governor Chris Christie was caught in a lie. He told a 4-year-old boy that he shared the same enthusiasm for Scooby-Doo, Where Are You. He said it was also his favorite show when he was 4 years old. With much research and a lot of digging on the internet, Governor Chris Christie was exposed. The popular cartoon series did not start airing until Governor Christie was 7 years old. Well, although Politifact gave him a pass for not being able to recall everything that happened when he was 4 years old, I consider it to be political pandering to the powerful  4-year-old community. If and when he runs for president in 2016, I'm sure he will be reaching out to that segment of our population for donations, volunteers, and supporters. Mark my words and thank you Stephen for bringing this to the attention of the Colbert Nation. Never mind that Stephen is also confused about favorite cartoon shows and how old he was when Inspector Gadget was on.

If you just checked out that last link, you probably saw that Inspector Gadget was able to fly without any sort of airplane, at least for short distances. However if you are trying to fly today, in an airplane, you may be having some trouble. Well, times are difficult and therefore the smartest thing to do is to cut spending all over the place. And there's proof except for the fact that it's wrong.

Go read "Growth in a Time of Debt" and then come back here. I'll wait. Okay, that was fascinating. However, as much as many people like to quote it as if it is Biblical truth, it's just not quite what it's claimed to be. There are coding errors on the spreadsheet they used that could invalidate their conclusions. Note: Their paper wasn't peer reviewed. (These are not the conclusions you're looking for.) You don't have to take Stephen's word for it. Take the word of this guy - graduate student Thomas Herndon. Stephen even had Thomas Herndon on The Colbert Report to show how the conclusions of Professor Carmen Reinhart and economist Ken Rogoff are wrong.

It's worth watching this segment just to hear Stephen come up with creative aliases for Reinhart and Rogoff. Plus, Stephen wrote a bunch of Scientific Papers that were so easy because he realized it didn't have to be all scientific or mathy. Thomas Herndon was able to explain to Stephen how austerity measures are being counter-productive.

Eric Schmidt was the real guest last night, the one in the interview chair over by the table. He (along with Jaren Cohen) has a new book out, The New Digital Age - Reshaping the Future of People, Nations, and Business." They talked about driverless cars and the future. We all know the internet is a bunch of tubes and yet we can't explain exactly what it is. We are going to see a ton of new internet users in the future and no one can predict what that will mean. That must be why he wrote the book, to let us know what the future will be like. The thing that really excited me is that our digital identity will live forever!

Grace and Grit

First of all, donate to the Red Cross. That was the first thing on Stephen's mind as he finally was able to broadcast the show. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross to aid in their relief efforts for all the people affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Stephen also gave a big shout-out to the nurses, or heroes as he calls them, who evacuated 20 newborns from NYU Langone Medical Center, carrying them down the stairs while holding flashlights to see. Also a big thank-you to the worker who was in a tree cutting down branches with a chainsaw so that the branches would not fall and cause further damage.

"In a tree with a chainsaw - safest place to be in a hurricane." Stephen knows his hurricane preparedness!

Also Stephen heaped praise on Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey, for his tireless efforts to get help for the people in his state also hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. (It's sadly ironic that Sandy will also be known for all the sand it has moved around, sand that doesn't flow back to sea after the storm is over.)

Stephen talked briefly about Mitt Romney's sudden change of events. No longer was he going to campaign in Ohio. Now he was going to have a charity event. Not necessarily helpful.

Providing in-depth commentary to all the recent events about Hurricane Sandy was R.E.M. member and The Colbert Report studio statuette, Michael Stipe. It was refreshing to get his perspective.

Interestingly enough, Mitt Romney has said prior to Hurricane Sandy that he believes States rather than FEMA should provide disaster help. Yes, agreed Stephen. After all, "Who better to respond to what's going on inside its own borders that the state whose infrastructure has just been swept out to sea?" And in a Romney administration, Paul Ryan will personally come to your devastated town and wash your already clean pots.


In these time of trial we always have Donald Trump's Twitter Feed. You may remember his offer of $5 Million Dollars to Charity? He has extended the deadline a few hours. In appreciation, Stephen has extended his deadline on his own offer to Donald Trump. Stephen called Donald's offer a "heartwarming act of extortion lost in Hurricane Sandy suffering.

Again, Stephen suggests we all give generously to the Red Cross.

Stephen's guest last night was Lilly Ledbetter. Stephen is so generous to his guests that she got to stay in a total of three hotels since she came to New York on Sunday. They talked about her struggle to get equal pay for equal work. The story is all in her book and interestingly enough, the first law Barack Obama signed is named after her. Go out and buy Grace and Grit My Fight for Equal Pay and Fairness at Goodyear and Beyond. Then read it to find out what she and Stephen were talking about.

Final time for the night. Text RED CROSS to 90999.

I Will Be a Complete Jerk To Her

Last night was a lot of fun at the Republican National Convention and Stephen covered pretty much everything from the previous night because of all that, well, time delay and taping the show early and you know, technical stuff. Stephen talked about Mitt Romney. He talked about Reince Priebus. He talked about Dustin Hoffman. He talked about Ann Romney. There was hardly anyone he didn't talk about.

Ann Romney talked about "Love" and then Chris Christie told us to choose "Respect" over "Love." So, kind of a road bump there. And then Stephen told us what we can look forward to according to  Matt Rhoades, campaign manager for Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney wants to be just like Jim. James Polk that is. The possibilities are exciting especially when you consider that Romney and Ryan's positions are older than Polk's. (Stephen was playing a drinking game last night. He took a lot of sips, so not as much talking as usual for him.)

Stephen gave a shout-out to Libertarians last night, namely Rand Paul and Ron Paul who currently is in Orlando. He also reminded us that it would be the Vice Coronation of Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan. This just naturally led in to a talk about Ayn Rand. We got to see how Paul Ryan, a devoted fan of Ayn Rand, celebrated her 100th birthday. (Nice hat!) And this is what Paul Ryan said about Ayn Rand back on February 2, 2005:

"The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand. I grew up reading Ayn Rand and it taught me quite a bit about who I am and what my value systems are, and what by beliefs are. It's inspired me so much that it's required reading in my office for all my interns."

Stephen summed up Ayn Rand's message and said how it fits so well for the interns of Paul Ryan. "You should work for free and think exactly what your boss tells you to."

Fast forward to August 14 of this year. He agrees but disagrees with Ayn Rand, so that is perfectly clear.

Stephen's guest was Jennifer Burns. Stephen promised to be a complete jerk to her. They talked about her book Goddess of the Market and about Ayn Rand. I haven't read her book or Ayn Rand's books. But I also haven't read Paul Ryan's Republican Budget, so I am being fair to all of them - no favorites.

Isaac to Trump: You're Fired

First off, I want to say what great opening credits those are for this week's "Tampa 2012 - America Strikes Back." Someone should make a movie.

Two things are going on in the country now. The Republican National Convention in Tampa and Hurricane Isaac in the Gulf Coast. Because of one of these events, the other event had to change its course. And since it's pretty hard to make a hurricane change course, you have probably figured out that its the Republican Convention that changed course. Well, changed its schedule, so almost the same thing. As a result, Donald "The Donald" Trump did not get to give his speech. Here was about the only platform where Donald Trump would be able to share his views and he lost out on that chance. When will we ever get to hear him talk again? I just don't know.

Other speakers have canceled in order to go back to their states and be there for the hurricane: Governors Rick Scott of Florida, Robert Bentley of Alabama and Phil Bryant of Mississippi. That's okay, there are plenty of other people at the Convention. Chris Christie will give the keynote speech, Paul Ryan will accept the Vice Presidential nomination and Marco Rubio is Hispanic. Time permitting, Mitt Romney will speak.

The most important thing happening at the Convention isn't happening in Tampa. It is happening online, on the Internet over at Colbert Nation. Stephen mentioned that Tampa is known for its strip bars and they are expecting to do a brisk business form delegates. Therefore security is tight. Everyone should have a security pass and so everyone should go here to get their Tampa 2012: America Strikes Back All-Access Pass. Even if you choose not to get one, you should at least go look at the choices on the form. You will find out a lot about yourself just by the choices you make.

You will need to fill in the usual things, your name, your sexuality, your most urgent lower taxes priority, your home state, your summer home state, your ski home state and your tax haven country. Also you will be asked to vote for your favorite Repetitive Republican.

You may remember that Todd Akin made waves last week with his statements that reflected his knowledge of how the female body works. Stephen tried to clear up all the confusion with his Hoo-Ha Lady Zone 5000. He was able to lay it all out for us to show the workings of the female reproductive system, including the dragon that guards the entrance. Good. Now we know. If you need any more info, just stop by any strip joint.

Stephen also talked briefly about Rep. Steve King, Congressman from Iowa, (not to be confused with Stephen King who talks about and writes about scary stuff). Rep. King defended Akin and Stephen shared videos of Rep. King being so fair and balanced that he will say one thing and then say the opposite. I think he's supporting both sides of an issue. Stephen Colbert just thinks Rep. King can't hear what comes out of his mouth.

The guest was Andrew Sullivan, political conservative and Editor of The Dish over at The Daily Beast. He claims to be a conservative. Yet he supports Barack Obama for President, even more so than he did when Barack Obama first ran in 2008. But that's just because the other party has gotten nutsier than they were the last time around. This was indeed an interesting discussion by two conservatives, talking about the upcoming presidential election.

I'm pretty sure we will hear more in the coming days about this election. It's just a feeling I have.

Hardware Stuff

(Note: I just updated We Mars'd It, so be sure to read the next post also.)

In his continuing Stephen Colbefrajilympic Expealacoverage '012, Stephen saluted the Olympic spirit and paid tribute to our patriotic team members. Stand proud, team members, stand proud.

And on to politics. We got to follow along in that reporter(s) followed along while Mitt Romney did some everyday, normal Joe, run of the mill shopping errands. He went to the Hardware store and bought hardware stuff. He went to the grocery store and bought, well probably grocery stuff. This of course naturally leads to a discussion of possible Vice President picks. The way to know who it will be is Wikipedia. Just see which candidate had the most updates on Wikipedia and that will be the VP pick. We know this is true because back when John McCain went all mavericky and picked Sarah Palin, her Wikipedia page had been updated about 68 times the previous day.

Can you guess what comes next? Of course. Stephen encouraged everyone to update the Wikipedia page of their favorite candidate for Mitt Romney's running mate. He demonstrated with the Wikipedia page of friend of the show Tim "T Paw" Pawlenty of Minnesota. The updates were quite interesting, however, I looked at the Wikipedia page for Tim Pawlenty and I did not see the changes. Either Wikipedia already scrubbed the updates that Stephen did, or Stephen did not press the correct Wiki Wiki button after he made the changes. But anyway, go update your favorite potential candidate, whether it be Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Marc Rubio, Rob Portman, or Rafalca. I guess, in a way, members of the Colbert Nation just might be the ones to pick Mitt Romney's running mate. I can hardly wait!

Animal rights issues are important to almost everyone, but not to Congressman Steve King of Iowa. We got to hear examples of Congressman Steve King talking about what dogs should and should not do.

We also got to hear Congressman King talk about this possible scenario: A sexual predator impregnates a 13 year-old girl, picks her up at the playground of her middle school, hauls her across state line to have an abortion and brings her back to the swing set. According to him, that's not against the law in the United States of America.

Luckily, Stephen Colbert has people off stage who talk to him during the show. "What? What? I'm being told that all of that is against the law." Stephen then explained situations that illustrate his understanding of what Congressman Steve King said. Stephen has such a way with words.

Stephen's guest was Mark A. Shriver, who talked about his dad Sargent Shriver, and the book he wrote about his dad. "A Good Man, Rediscovering My Father, Sargent Shriver" is the book. Sargent Shriver had quite the resume. Peace Corps, Head Start, Job Corp, VISTA, and Legal Services.

With Pete Seeger on Monday, and Sargent Shriver's son Mark on, it is starting to seem like Liberal Week over at the Colbert Report. But, since Stephen is a Conservative, that just shows that he is fair and willing to listen to both sides.