You Say Chechnya, I Say Czech Republic

There has been a lot happening in the news media related to the events in Boston. Stephen pointed out that shortly after The Colbert Report aired on Thursday night, Suspect 1 and Suspect 2 were found. One suspect, T.T. was mortally wounded and his younger brother, D.T. was captured. (I'm not putting the details here, you can easily find the details anywhere.) The Chechen brothers are from the Caucasus Mountain region which therefore makes them the ultimate Caucasians.

Stephen brought up a detail that does not have a lot of impact on the story, but still, it must be said. He reported that the Czech Republic Ambassador has made it clear that Chechnya and the Czech Republic are two very different countries. It seems there has been a lot of confusion in all the social media and he wanted that distinction to be made perfectly clear. I heard this first over at The Rachel Maddow Show. She implied, for some reason, that we are deficient in our geography knowledge. She may be right. But then she went on talking about violins on TV. I wonder why she threw that comment in.

Good news sort of. We have gone from a D to a D+ for infrastructure. That is according to ASCE, the American Society of Civil Engineers.  Go Solid Waste!!! That's things like bridges, levees, dams, roads. You know, those things that make the country function. Kind of important. And the EPA says nearly half of our rivers can support life.

The George W. Bush Library opens on May 1. Stephen is not invited, but he is going anyway. You can get tickets online. Of course some of them will be for the George W. Bush Library and some will be for the Al Gore Library, but the ticket takers will count them all for Bush.

Michael Pollan was the guest tonight. After a Food Book Intervention, Stephen and Michael Pollan discussed the really important aspect of a healthy diet. It's not what you eat that is important, but who cooks your food. If a human being cooks your food, instead of a corporation, you will probably be eating a perfectly fine and nutritious diet. If a corporation cooks the food for you, in that it goes from the farm to the corporation and then to your stomach, maybe not so healthy. You will probably be getting your food served with lots of sugar, fat, salt and additives. So, Do It Yourself when it comes to meal preparation and you will be looking and feeling as great as Stephen Colbert and Michael Pollan.

Small Insignificant States

Stephen talked, just briefly tonight, about foreign policy, in that he talked about Herman Cain's insight into foreign policy. Of course we all know that Herman Cain doesn't know who the leader of Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan is. I must admit, I do not know either. But I also want to acknowledge all my readers from Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan and hope that they keep reading my blog because I think their county is very important.

In order for Herman Cain to know who the leader of Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan is, he would have to be able to see into the present. There are already plenty of people who can see into the present. News people and journalists come to mind. Herman Cain has something else to offer, a rare talent. He can see into the past.

Said Herman Cain recently, "I do view China as a potential military threat. They've indicated that they are trying to develop nuclear capability."

Stephen pointed out that it was in 1964 that China did develop that capability. Proof that Herman Cain can see into the past! We need someone like him on the GOP ticket. Perhaps that is why he is doing so well in the polls.

Stephen's guest tonight was friend of the show Michael Pollan talking about his book, "Food Rules, An Eater's Manual." Even before Michael Pollan started to speak with Stephen, there was controversy. Stephen said Rule #1 was:

Do not eat the book.

But Michael Pollan said that Rule #1 was:

Food is a costly antidepressant.

So, which is it? Although I believe that the antidepressant rule is probably the actual first rule in the book, Stephen's rule is more logical. Stephen figured eating is easy, just put stuff into your mouth. Michale Pollan wants people to use a little bit more restraint and eat healthy foods.

And then something I did not expect. We witnessed a sad event. Stephen, unhappy that the audience seemed to be in agreement with Michael Pollan about the wisdom of taxing soda, actually told his audience to be quiet. But the vulgar and rude way he did it will never be forgotten. Or forgiven. Here are the actual words he said/shouted:

"No, you. You shut up!" This is terrible. Does he expect his followers will still chant "Stephen, Stephen, Stephen?"

Update: Everyone forgives Stephen for telling the audience to shut up. And everyone has already forgotten.