Day Two of the Government Shutdown and some folks (friends) are saying it's not that big of a deal. In fact, they are calling it a slimdown. Who could argue with slimming down? Well, about 9 million Women, Infants and Children who will soon run out of supplemental food. I thought about going over to the website for WIC, and wouldn't you know it? I fell for it again. The government is shut down and so the website for WIC is not there. So I couldn't get the information I was looking for. Something should be done about this shutdown.
And something is. President Obama has called for Congressional Leaders to come, sit down and talk this over. Republicans are doing their part by not blinking. Friend of the show, Michele Bachmann, is vowing to take No Doz. This should be a comfort to those hungry women, infants and children.
Killing people is bad, okay? Writing books about killing people can get you lots of money. And if God talks to you while you are sleeping and tells you to write these books, then you are Bill O'Reilly. Well, actually, it's the Holy Spirit that told Bill O'Reilly to write books about killing people.
Just as Stephen was explaining all this voices in your head in the middle of the night, God stopped by the studio, cast his golden glow upon Stephen, and let him know that Joan of Arc is a drama queen. We also found out that God talks to Stephen before he talks to Bill. In fact, God first told Stephen to write that book about Jesus and then Stephen whispered to Bill in the middle of the night that he should write it. Wow, and to think that I almost skipped watching tonight in order to made cookies.
Chris Matthews, champion talker and host of Hardball, was the guest last night on the show. He has one of the most distinctive laughs that I can think of. Hah! He has a new book on the shelves now, "Tip and The Gipper, When Politics Worked." The book is about Tip O'Neill, Speaker of the House, and Ronald Reagan, President of the United States. They were from opposite political parties, yet they could sit down in the evening and be friends.
Stephen was critical of the idea or ideal by Chris Matthews that politics should work. Think back, as Chris did, that our country was founded on the idea of talking, agreeing, compromising, coming to a decision and then moving forward. Heck of an idea, by the way. The two men argued more or should I say discussed more about politics and Reagan. They also came up with another book idea, well actually it was Chris Matthews who coined the title. Stephen did not discount the possibility of the make-believe future book being a best seller, but I wonder if other people will weigh in on this potential book. (Before they do, remember what you all say about Free Speech...)
I thought Chris Matthews did a fine job of explaining his thoughts and opinions. Just in case Stephen didn't get it, he asked Stephen at the end of the interview, "Am I clear?"
Now for something completely different. I really thought Stephen's tie last night was nice. It was subtle, it was stylish, it went quite well with his choice of a shirt. I also liked his tie from the night before. So Monday and Tuesday he wore nice ties. Only problem is, I think it was the same tie. Who does that? Who wears the same tie two nights in a row? Was it just my imagination? I don't think so. What happened? Did Stephen stay at the studio all night long on Monday preparing for Tuesday's show? That is one explanation, but there are so many more possibilities.
Stephen, if you're reading this, please give me a call and let me know what's up with that. Thanks.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Republicans Crave Fun
Yep, Republicans crave fun. Or so says George Will. It seems almost not worth the ink to write something like that because it should be obvious to everyone.
Something else that should come as no surprise to Colbert fans. Stephen is a huge fan of Pat Robertson. You may remember Pat from his incredibly powerful "Age Defying Protein Pancakes." Stephen is also a fan of those pancakes. You can tell the pancakes really work because neither Stephen nor Pat Robertson has aged in all the years they both have been on TV.
Good News from Pat. God told him who the next president will be but Pat isn't going to tell us. Nope, that's his little secret. Pat also had an extensive conversation with God and God told him it will be a time of maximum stress and peril.
Will it be massive power threat? - No!
Will it be North Korea Nuclear Threat? - No!
Will it be Mayan Galaxy alignment? - No!
(At this point, Stephen had a Mayan hat on and a flustered chicken in his lap.)
So, what is it? Drum roll........ It is economic collapse.
How can that be you ask. Well, this is what Pat Robertson said.
"God said and I quote. This is not my judgement. They are bringing it upon themselves. Your country will be torn apart by internal stress. Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority. Expect chaos and paralysis. This is a spiritual battle which can only be won by overwhelming prayer."
So Stephen donned his lucky red prayer hat but then took it up a level to his prayer sombrero, or som-prayer-o. He put on his large foam prayer hands and had his stagehands bring out stacks of speakers. (I assume so that God could hear better.)
Let us pray, well, let Stephen pray.
"Dear Lord,
We have heard you speak through your Pat Puppet. We mortals are heartily sorry we elected Barack Obama. Help us defeat him in 2012, although Pat says you already know what's going to happen so either this prayer has already worked or it hasn't which means it's either unnecessary or pointless.
"Oh, and one more thing Lord. Why'd you tell Pat Robertson? I'm not complaining but what about me? Is there some sort of next president phone tree I can get on, you know like in case there's a snow day? Anyway, if it's something I've done, (other than you know that thing I keep trying to stop doing), I'm sorry.
"Amen. Jesus Number One!"
Tonight's guest was not George Will or Pat Robertson, although that would be interesting. It was Steve Case, founder of AOL.
Stephen reminded Steve that Steve introduced the greatest waster of time in the workplace. But now Steve has another company, Revolution, which seems to be about sharing. Stephen informed Steve that sharing seems Marxist, and seems to be a socialist idea.
But Stephen warmed up to the idea, even offering his own suggestion for sharing toasters. Instead of all of us owning one and keeping it in the kitchen, there could be one central place where people go to borrow the toaster, bring it home to make toast, and then bring it back. When Steve said that was a good idea, Stephen pulled the rug out from under that notion by saying it is the stupidest idea he's heard of.
I agree with Stephen. It's a stupid idea. So stupid, it just might work.
Something else that should come as no surprise to Colbert fans. Stephen is a huge fan of Pat Robertson. You may remember Pat from his incredibly powerful "Age Defying Protein Pancakes." Stephen is also a fan of those pancakes. You can tell the pancakes really work because neither Stephen nor Pat Robertson has aged in all the years they both have been on TV.
Good News from Pat. God told him who the next president will be but Pat isn't going to tell us. Nope, that's his little secret. Pat also had an extensive conversation with God and God told him it will be a time of maximum stress and peril.
Will it be massive power threat? - No!
Will it be North Korea Nuclear Threat? - No!
Will it be Mayan Galaxy alignment? - No!
(At this point, Stephen had a Mayan hat on and a flustered chicken in his lap.)
So, what is it? Drum roll........ It is economic collapse.
How can that be you ask. Well, this is what Pat Robertson said.
"God said and I quote. This is not my judgement. They are bringing it upon themselves. Your country will be torn apart by internal stress. Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority. Expect chaos and paralysis. This is a spiritual battle which can only be won by overwhelming prayer."
So Stephen donned his lucky red prayer hat but then took it up a level to his prayer sombrero, or som-prayer-o. He put on his large foam prayer hands and had his stagehands bring out stacks of speakers. (I assume so that God could hear better.)
Let us pray, well, let Stephen pray.
"Dear Lord,
We have heard you speak through your Pat Puppet. We mortals are heartily sorry we elected Barack Obama. Help us defeat him in 2012, although Pat says you already know what's going to happen so either this prayer has already worked or it hasn't which means it's either unnecessary or pointless.
"Oh, and one more thing Lord. Why'd you tell Pat Robertson? I'm not complaining but what about me? Is there some sort of next president phone tree I can get on, you know like in case there's a snow day? Anyway, if it's something I've done, (other than you know that thing I keep trying to stop doing), I'm sorry.
"Amen. Jesus Number One!"
Tonight's guest was not George Will or Pat Robertson, although that would be interesting. It was Steve Case, founder of AOL.
Stephen reminded Steve that Steve introduced the greatest waster of time in the workplace. But now Steve has another company, Revolution, which seems to be about sharing. Stephen informed Steve that sharing seems Marxist, and seems to be a socialist idea.
But Stephen warmed up to the idea, even offering his own suggestion for sharing toasters. Instead of all of us owning one and keeping it in the kitchen, there could be one central place where people go to borrow the toaster, bring it home to make toast, and then bring it back. When Steve said that was a good idea, Stephen pulled the rug out from under that notion by saying it is the stupidest idea he's heard of.
I agree with Stephen. It's a stupid idea. So stupid, it just might work.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
the colbert breaking bad mad-temple grand-men glee-bert re-modern family port with jon stewart
Why such a long title? And why no capital letters? Well, I'm way too lazy to make capital letters when there are so many words in the title. And it's such a long title because that is what Stephen will call his show next year in hopes of winning an Emmy. I won't mention which News show on Comedy Central did win an Emmy. It is just too sad for Stephen to even think about. Some day, when the pain is not too intense, Stephen will be able to congratulate the winner of the Emmy.
Moving on.
We have all missed Stephen these past few days and it is great to have him back on the air. His studio was most likely enlarged while he was on vacation. He asked for a show of hands from his audience. I forget the question, but that's not important. What is important is how popular Stephen continues to be. There were about 57,000 people in his audience that agreed with him. That makes him an agreeable person. Interestingly enough, he also was the #1 search on Google today. That is an accomplishment. One might even think that would be enough to win him an Emmy!
Glenn Beck was mentioned on the show, but unfortunately, in a mocking tone. Glenn Beck said the geese that flew overhead at his rally by the Lincoln Memorial were a miracle sent by God. Or something similar.
Stephen mocked, yes mocked Glenn Beck by asking, "What are the odds of a flock of geese taking flight at the exact moment that tens of thousands of people start clapping their hands? And shortly thereafter, Geese Witherspoon visited the set and Stephen enjoyed the company of Grey Goose.
It is good to have him back where he belongs.
Moving on.
We have all missed Stephen these past few days and it is great to have him back on the air. His studio was most likely enlarged while he was on vacation. He asked for a show of hands from his audience. I forget the question, but that's not important. What is important is how popular Stephen continues to be. There were about 57,000 people in his audience that agreed with him. That makes him an agreeable person. Interestingly enough, he also was the #1 search on Google today. That is an accomplishment. One might even think that would be enough to win him an Emmy!
Glenn Beck was mentioned on the show, but unfortunately, in a mocking tone. Glenn Beck said the geese that flew overhead at his rally by the Lincoln Memorial were a miracle sent by God. Or something similar.
Stephen mocked, yes mocked Glenn Beck by asking, "What are the odds of a flock of geese taking flight at the exact moment that tens of thousands of people start clapping their hands? And shortly thereafter, Geese Witherspoon visited the set and Stephen enjoyed the company of Grey Goose.
It is good to have him back where he belongs.
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