Banksy Stay Away

We are in shutdown mode still and Stephen detailed all the compromises offered up by the Republicans, including the one where Mitt Romney would be the president. In the words of John Boehner, "This isn't some 'blah blah' game." (Words substituted for real words that he used.)

On the show was the actual "Not a Game - The Government Shutdown Home Game." It's great when Stephen can showcase some good old fun board games. The Democrats, Republicans and Tea Party were all represented by game pieces, there was a timer to be ignored, and cards to show what public opinion was so that you could gauge how well you were doing. Brendon, a nice enough kid, was there to try to play with Stephen. It did not go well. Not for Brendon who never even got a turn. Not for Stephen who was almost immediately shut down (pun intended) by public opinion.

Stephen talked briefly about the Supreme Court and even had friend of the show, Emily Bazelon on to discuss the mysterious workings of SCOTUS. You don't want to know.

Stephen also got into a fine arts session, highlighting the work of, or should I say, downgrading the work of, Banksy. Some of you may be familiar with Banksy and some of you may not have heard of him until Stephen talked about him. He is from the UK but is coming to the streets of New York for some kind of artist-in-residency I guess. Here's his website. You can go take a look. I did and realized that he is not so much of an artist as a Graffiti-ist. I don't encourage that. In fact, I discourage that. In fact, to show him what I think of his tactics, I got my own can of spray paint and wrote "You should not be doing this!" on his website. That was a mistake. All I accomplished was to wreck one of my monitor screens. I am so glad I have two monitors. I guess I don't know much about hacking someone's website.

Anyway, Stephen shares my opinion of this Graffiti-ist and is trying to keep him from practicing his craft anywhere near his studio. He has blank walls on the studio that face the street, just perfect for someone to spray paint. Banksy won't be able to do anything to them though. Stephen has already put up a large frame with a note painted above it on the wall saying, "Banksy: DO NOT VANDALIZE." Problem solved. There's no way Banksy will be able to do anything to The Colbert Report studio exterior wall located at 513 W 54th Street. Stephen, as usual, is one step ahead of everyone else. Including Banksy. Hah!

It has taken me a while to write about Monday's show. I was out at the lake, wrapping tin foil around my row boat in order to turn it into a super fast water craft. It didn't work.

Stephen's guest on Monday had better luck. James Spithill was there to talk about winning the America's Cup. Funny thing is, he is from Australia which is really, really south. He definitely had a southern accent. Anyway, there was video of the race and it looked like a lot of fun. Probably most of the time they sit around sipping cocktails until the wind blows a bit. Actually, I don't know much about it, but how difficult could it be? Put the boat in the water, wait for the wind, win the race.

It kind of sounded like Stephen may be working some sort of deal to help out next time. I think he should go for it.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

The Supreme Court is on every one's mind. Last week they were hearing arguments about Prop 8 and DOMA. Justice Ginsberg talked about two kinds of marriage, the full marriage and a sort of skim milk marriage. Defense of Marriage Act grants about 1100 benefits to married couples and that is part of the reason DOMA is up for discussion. So, what's the beef with not wanting everyone to be able to marry? And why do people get married?  Well, simply put, it's procreation. There's no valid reason for people to get married unless they are going to procreate. We can all agree, I'm sure, that anyone that is not going to have children and lots of them has no business getting married.

With nine justices on the Supreme Court, Stephen explained that it is evenly divided four-four. The deciding vote often is cast by Justice Anthony Kennedy.You may remember he said in Citizens United that Corporations are people with Constitutional Rights. Stephen mentioned something about people who might just be declared people with Constitutional Rights. Something to think about. (Is a corporation a man or a woman? That would be something that Stephen could investigate for a future show. I wonder why he didn't bring that up in his discussion.)

To explain it all to Stephen, Emily Bazelon, Senior Editor of Slate, came on the show, and when he let her do some of the talking it was all very informative and confusing. Since no one will know until mid summer, he wanted her to tell what is going to happen. She did say at one point, "It looks like DOMA is going down." After their long discussion, I was more informed but way more confused.

Stephen's guest last Thursday night was Dr. Robert Lustig. The two discussed his book, "Fat Chance - Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease." Stephen wanted to know what his beef with sugar is. Fascinating talk back and forth between the two of them. I imagine part of Robert Lustig's concern is that he sees so many young children with obesity which can be quite a problem. He says we need to reduce our sugar consumption, but it is hard because it is an ingredient in many foods that we would not even suspect, such as taco meat. Stephen argued that corn syrup ( a sweetener) is natural, just like parsley or hemlock. Well, Stephen does have a point. Here's something you may not have known. There are 56 names for sugar which makes it hard to check the ingredient list when you are shopping. Luckily, we found out that food wrappers have more health benefits than the food does.

Sitting on a Throne

There's been lots of talk and lots of video about meteors and asteroids getting way too close to Earth recently. Most of Earth did okay. The asteroid was no problem. Not so lucky in Russia. A meteor streaked across the sky in Russia and actually hit ground, making it a meteorite. Stephen pointed out the need for better detection of meteors and asteroids and the incredible efforts being undertaken on the Space Station that means we can all sleep better tonight.

The good thing out of all this is that I now realize an asteroid belt is not a fashion accessory.

Great news as the Dow finished at 14,035.67. Stephen was thrilled and a little confused. Obviously everyone is excited about such good news, but we didn't get much analysis about why it is so great. That's okay. Just be happy. We have more billionaires and that makes me happy. I watched the Colbert Platinum segment and saw what I want for my next birthday. It only costs $1.2 million and I think I could get it delivered by this summer. At least 18 people in this country have ordered one of these vehicles, so perhaps someone has ordered mine as a gift.(Interestingly enough, when I watched the show, there was an advertisement for Jaguar. Coincidence? I wonder. Guess I'll have to buy one of those for my trips to the grocery store.)

And if I do get that trinket, the perfect place to use it will be in Belle Isle, a utopia to be developed by Detroit visionary Rodney Lockwood. I see nothing but a win-win for everyone involved. Those not involved would lose out, but not my problem. Stephen pointed out that there also is the rest of the country that would be just as inviting to those who could afford to live at Belle Isle. Yes, it is a great opportunity to take all the lemons life hands you, take them to a private island and make lemonade that you won't share with anyone else.

Do you know the difference between transparent, translucent and opaque? Some people get those terms confused and get their undies all in a bunch. But here's the real scoop. Stephen alerted us the the fact that some people, you know who, are in a tizzy because they don't have photos of President Obama golfing recently. Oh, great. They weren't happy with the skeet shooting photos. Who really believes they would be happy with golf photos? I can hardly wait until someone photoshops the skeet photos into golf photos. Stephen carried it to the logical next step, the exact thing I wondered about. Is this what will now pass as transparency?

Stephen's guest was Emily Bazelon, author of "Sticks and Stones, Replacing the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy." Wow, I feel like I've already read half the book.

Stephen needed to know what exactly the term empathy means. We learned so much from the discussion between the two, Elizabeth Bazelon and Stephen Colbert. We found out some examples of bullying, we found out that Elizabeth Bazelon related an instance of when she felt the effects of bullying and also how she felt that she did not do enough to turn around those same effects when it happens to someone else.

Stephen asked her, "Do you think I'm a bully?" There are no simple yes or no answers in life. Luckily, neither the guest nor the host was actually reduced to tears.

Presidents Day

Yesterday was Presidents Day and last night on the "The Colbert Report" was a repeat. It was the episode with Dave Grohl as the guest and Marco Rubio as the thirst quencher. You can re-read those posts here and the update to that post here.

For tonight, it looks like the guest will be Emily Bazelon, senior editor of Slate magazine. I sure hope Stephen is nice to her. Oh, what am I thinking? Of course he will be nice.

# Filling Air Time

Stephen told his audience that when they chant his name it is the best Karaoke song ever. He also told us about some cool technology that he saw on CNN. They have the ability to capture what was just on CNN and then send it to their friends. So, not only can you tell someone you are watching Wolf Blitzer, you can show them. It's basically #fillingairtime.

Speaking of skeletal figures dressed in black robes at this time of year, the Supreme Court will be deciding if Abigail Fischer should have been able to go to the University of Texas like she wanted to or to Louisiana State University like she had to. Joining Stephen briefly was Emily Bazelon to discuss Affirmative Action. This was an issue that was dear and near to Stephen because he had to go to Dartmouth instead of Hogwarts.

For hungry fans of the show, there was a Soup to Nuts segment where we learned about volunteering. Paul Ryan "volunteered" at a St. Vincent De Paul Soup Kitchen. You can see video here of Paul Ryan and his shiny pan scrubbing.  What a hoot. I wonder if he was being punked because anyone could see those pots and pans that he scrubbed were already as shiny as the day they were born. Perhaps Paul Ryan needs to get his eyes checked. This episode with Paul Ryan reminds me of his Marathon Days. Paul Ryan is in good shape and yet he keeps tripping over his own feet (or his own tongue). I think what happened is that someone told him he should pretend to be washing dishes, but no one realized that everybody would see that they didn't need to be washed. Ooh, ooh, ooh! Now I'm thinking of something else. It's on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah, now I remember. Click here to see what I'm thinking of. Hint: Hans Christian Andersen.

Perhaps in an effort to help Paul Ryan do a better job of running for Vice President, Stephen has come up with a way to provide assistance. It's called, "Save the Candidates." Turning to the camera and speaking softly, Stephen shows us a photo of Paul Ryan and says, "This is Paul. He wants to be Vice President but he needs your help." Stephen goes on to urge us to spend just a few minutes a day and provide Paul with the photo opps he needs, perhaps with orphans or veterans. You can help this young man (Paul Ryan) live up to his dream of cutting all your government funding. Stephen was so sincere, I expect there will be some takers.

The guest last night was friend of the show, Cory Booker, Mayor of Newark, New Jersey. The last time Cory Booker was on the show, Stephen awarded him alpha dog for running into a burning building which also alarmed Stephen who wondered if his studio was on fire. (It wasn't!)

Stephen Colbert asked questions like, "Why wasn't "God" in the Democratic Platform?" Said Cory Booker, "Religion was in there. Faith was in there. And it favored faith-based programs." He had read the Republican Party Platform and it was shinier in that they talked about going back to the gold standard.

But they didn't just talk about God and gold. They talked about #waywire. Stephen summed it up as video communication and activism at the same time. Cory was impressed with the summation. Unfortunately he had just admitted that he liked a soundbite. That's okay. Soundbites are also delicious.

Don't Make Me Angry

As you may know, the Supreme Court is listening to arguments about the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Some people don't like the mandate, not to be confused with man date. Stephen had Emily Bazelon, Legal Editor of Slate, on the show to discuss everything about this issue. It ended, as many interviews do, with Stephen accepting her apology.

Enough of reforming, let's try some conforming.

Lots of people are saying that young people are not excited about any of the Republican candidates. But as the kids would say, "Poppycock!" There's a conservative teen magazine for kids who are tired of doing their own thing and just want to conform. The magazine is called "The Conservative Teen" and has articles such as "Government Creates Poverty," and "Why Abstinence Works & How it Can Work For You." You can go to the website theconservativeteen.com but it's not there. It seems there has not been enough interest in the magazine to get it printed so it had been available online, but even that seems to be problematic.

Mark Ruffalo was the guest tonight. He talked about natural gas (we have 20 year supply not 100 year supply underground), fracking (yeah, it sounds bad), and water (the stuff we drink). In fact, he has a website - Water Defense - with lots of information about all those things plus more. At one point, Stephen and Mark were having a shouting match and a pointing battle. But the interview ended with Mark accepting Stephen's apology.

Stephen started out the show tonight by highlighting a sponsor, Kellogg's Crunchy Nut. And funny thing, that was one of the commercials after the interview and before Stephen said, "Good Night." I wonder if that was a coincidence.