Stephen shared with us his "I'm With Mitt" photos. It was a great summary of Election Night minus the fireworks.
Do you know any Difference Makers? I'm sure you do, but none quite like Steven Dick, Jr. He owes a ton of back taxes but refused to pay them because New York tax law has an exemption (according to Dick) for his type of business establishment. Stephen presented a mini-documentary that was a wonderful mixture of legal information along with musical and dramatic performances.
Contrary to what was published in "The New England Journal of When Harry Met Sally," men and women can't be just friends. Harry was right and Sally was wrong. Stephen shared his thoughts about the 700,000 women viewers who watch his show.
Thursday night's guest was Rachel Maddow of "The Rachel Maddow Show" fame. She was one of the newscasters who stayed up late on Election Night to report the results. "What was it like?" asked Stephen. Well, Rachel admitted that she had pudding brain after not having enough sleep. When Ohio was called for Obama and Obama had won re-election, they were caught off guard, they weren't expecting it to happen then.
Stephen commented that the folks over at Fox seemed more freaked out than the folks at msnbc seemed elated. Probably the folks over at msnbc were simply reporting the news fairly and balanacedly, so no emotion needed. We also find out that predicting the outcome of an election based on enthusiastic crowds is a lousy way to predict elections.
One thing that Stephen respects is the way Rachel Maddow can deconstruct the news. She mixes it up a bit and then reconstructs the news. According to Stephen this ends up being a conservative killing machine.
Stephen plugged Rachel Maddow's book "Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power." But not before discussing his view of how hurricanes are spawned. I don't think Rachel Maddow believed his fuzzy science.
Showing posts with label Mitt Romney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mitt Romney. Show all posts
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
It's My Party
I think I know why Stephen was so sad last night. There was a party, a party that he should have been invited to and he wasn't. It was the celebration party for Mitt Romney. Admittedly, it wasn't much of a celebration, but if Stephen had been invited, he would have been able to cheer up everyone that was there. He's just that kind of a fellow.
Anyway, here's some news about the party. Maybe next time, he'll get invited.
Anyway, here's some news about the party. Maybe next time, he'll get invited.
Monday, November 5, 2012
86.3%
GO VOTE!
That's how Stephen ended the show. But let me start at the beginning.
Of course you all know about the Colbert Super PAC, Building a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow. Well who do you think said this?
"We can begin a better tomorrow, tomorrow." Oh, you won't believe who it was. Stephen seemed pleased, ("He used our slogan!") but I can tell you, I am steamed. Stephen made up that slogan and it belongs to the Colbert Super PAC and all the fine folks over at Colbert Nation and to the The Colbert Report. So here's who said it: Mitt Romney.
Really, plagiarism, that's how it's going to be? That does it. I'm going against all the conservative ideas Stephen has been preaching all these years and endorsing Barack Obama. There. I said it. Stephen has worked so hard every hour of every day building his Colbert Super PAC. Now to have the slogan, well the last four words of it, used in a speech by someone else,... well forgive me if I cry on my computer and make the words run off the screen.
Whew, deep breath, calm down. Okay. I'm feeling better. Maybe not that big of a deal. Moving on.
Stephen did a somber impression of Maya Angelou and then a more upbeat impression of Kid Rock. They are sort of the poets for each of the presidential campaigns. You decide which poet belongs to which candidate. Stephen also mentioned an excellent documentary that CNN did on bears a few years back. I missed that documentary but it sounded like it was quite informative.
Sasha Issenberg chatted with Stephen briefly and told him what was a very surprising piece of information. Based on everything that is known about Stephen Colbert, there is a 94% chance that he will support Obama. Now you know why polls and surveys and predictions can be so "iffy." Everyone knows Stephen Colbert is a conservative. And he's supporting Obama! Wow - do fish swim? Is the Pope Catholic? I could go on, but you get the idea. Stephen Colbert votes for Obama. Please. Really, please.
Tomorrow is the... The Election. The race is "razor tight" according to nearly everyone. With that said, Stephen talked about his upcoming guest, Nate Silver, New York Times Polling Jedi and author of the Five Thirty Eight blog. In 2008, Nate Silver correctly predicted 49 out of 50 states.
One of the first things Stephen said is that even a stopped clock is right 98% of the time. So, a good introduction to percentages. Nate Silver is now predicting that Barack Obama has a 86.3% chance of being re-elected! He is so sure of it that he even had a famous bet with Joe Scarborough about the outcome of the presidential election.
Stephen, along with many other people, is skeptical of Nate Silver's predictions. In fact, this is what Stephen said on the subject:
"I am not the only one tarnishing Silver's sterling reputation."
(I'll wait while you let that clever quote sink in. Stephen was oh-so-pleased with himself.)
So, Nate Silver was on. He was on four years ago and received the famous "Colbert Bump" and since then has a pretty cushy job over at New York Times. Most likely thanks to Stephen. Nate has a book out, looks quite interesting if you judge a book by its cover and also by the words inside. The book is, "the signal and the noise: why so many predictions fail --- but some don't." No, I was not too lazy to capitalize the words. They are all in lowercase on the book cover. I think that means the book is more down to earth and not as uppity as some people's books are. So, again, it sounds like a good book.
Stephen ended the show with these words:
GO VOTE!
Sound advice. Be sure to vote tomorrow. The lines my be long. But this is important. Your family is counting on you to vote. Your country is counting on you to vote. And Stephen Colbert is counting on you to vote. Don't make him cry.
That's how Stephen ended the show. But let me start at the beginning.
Of course you all know about the Colbert Super PAC, Building a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow. Well who do you think said this?
"We can begin a better tomorrow, tomorrow." Oh, you won't believe who it was. Stephen seemed pleased, ("He used our slogan!") but I can tell you, I am steamed. Stephen made up that slogan and it belongs to the Colbert Super PAC and all the fine folks over at Colbert Nation and to the The Colbert Report. So here's who said it: Mitt Romney.
Really, plagiarism, that's how it's going to be? That does it. I'm going against all the conservative ideas Stephen has been preaching all these years and endorsing Barack Obama. There. I said it. Stephen has worked so hard every hour of every day building his Colbert Super PAC. Now to have the slogan, well the last four words of it, used in a speech by someone else,... well forgive me if I cry on my computer and make the words run off the screen.
Whew, deep breath, calm down. Okay. I'm feeling better. Maybe not that big of a deal. Moving on.
Stephen did a somber impression of Maya Angelou and then a more upbeat impression of Kid Rock. They are sort of the poets for each of the presidential campaigns. You decide which poet belongs to which candidate. Stephen also mentioned an excellent documentary that CNN did on bears a few years back. I missed that documentary but it sounded like it was quite informative.
Sasha Issenberg chatted with Stephen briefly and told him what was a very surprising piece of information. Based on everything that is known about Stephen Colbert, there is a 94% chance that he will support Obama. Now you know why polls and surveys and predictions can be so "iffy." Everyone knows Stephen Colbert is a conservative. And he's supporting Obama! Wow - do fish swim? Is the Pope Catholic? I could go on, but you get the idea. Stephen Colbert votes for Obama. Please. Really, please.
Tomorrow is the... The Election. The race is "razor tight" according to nearly everyone. With that said, Stephen talked about his upcoming guest, Nate Silver, New York Times Polling Jedi and author of the Five Thirty Eight blog. In 2008, Nate Silver correctly predicted 49 out of 50 states.
One of the first things Stephen said is that even a stopped clock is right 98% of the time. So, a good introduction to percentages. Nate Silver is now predicting that Barack Obama has a 86.3% chance of being re-elected! He is so sure of it that he even had a famous bet with Joe Scarborough about the outcome of the presidential election.
Stephen, along with many other people, is skeptical of Nate Silver's predictions. In fact, this is what Stephen said on the subject:
"I am not the only one tarnishing Silver's sterling reputation."
(I'll wait while you let that clever quote sink in. Stephen was oh-so-pleased with himself.)
So, Nate Silver was on. He was on four years ago and received the famous "Colbert Bump" and since then has a pretty cushy job over at New York Times. Most likely thanks to Stephen. Nate has a book out, looks quite interesting if you judge a book by its cover and also by the words inside. The book is, "the signal and the noise: why so many predictions fail --- but some don't." No, I was not too lazy to capitalize the words. They are all in lowercase on the book cover. I think that means the book is more down to earth and not as uppity as some people's books are. So, again, it sounds like a good book.
Stephen ended the show with these words:
GO VOTE!
Sound advice. Be sure to vote tomorrow. The lines my be long. But this is important. Your family is counting on you to vote. Your country is counting on you to vote. And Stephen Colbert is counting on you to vote. Don't make him cry.
Friday, November 2, 2012
They Wear Denim
Sad news that Stephen reported last night. He had to, and this was hard for him to say, ride the bus to work. There were members of the public, people, also on the bus. And they were wearing denim, lots of denim.Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon.
Stephen had a Tip of the Finger, no a Wag of the Hat, no, it was either a Tip of the Hat or a Wag of the Finger for Memoto. That's a small camera that you can wear on your person. It takes a photo every 30 seconds. Wow. This is great. I can't believe humans have evolved as much as they have without this clever device before. Your life in pictures, everything you do all day long. And hey, don't worry about someone else taking photos that seem somewhat invasive of other people's privacy. It says on their website not to take inappropriate pictures, so problem solved.
Stephen did note that if he had had this Memoto earlier this year, he could have captured the beginning and the end of Tim Pawlenty's presidential election in two pictures.
Here's something that pundits have been talking about since Mitt Romney started running for president. I don't have that exact date that Mitt Romney started running for president, but that isn't important here. What is important is whether or not Mitt's Mormon religion will turn some voters away.
Luckily, Billy Graham stepped up to the plate at just the right moment. Whereas Mormons used to be on Billy Graham's Cult List, the Mormon religion or Latter Day Saints, has been removed recently and they are no longer a Cult in Billy Graham's humble opinion. Stephen called this a miracle. Billy Graham is now pledging to do all he can to help Romney.
David Byrne and St. Vincent were the guests last night. They had a lively discussion, with Stephen happy to point out the vast difference in the age of those two. So, it's not as if he called David Byrne old. I would imagine you might just say he is youth-challenged. One of the first thing the three of them did was to figure out a way to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Sandy. It was a very interesting approach, partly because the hurricane caused the predicament that would then become the means of raising money. That Stephen Colbert has such great ideas.
Stephen asked both of them if being artists and musicians made them feel like they missed out on the opportunity to be ordinary. But both David Byrne and St. Vincent, or Annie as Stephen called her, claimed to believe that they were just ordinary folk.
Finally, time for some music. And as usual some bonus music on the web at Colbert Nation.
Stephen had a Tip of the Finger, no a Wag of the Hat, no, it was either a Tip of the Hat or a Wag of the Finger for Memoto. That's a small camera that you can wear on your person. It takes a photo every 30 seconds. Wow. This is great. I can't believe humans have evolved as much as they have without this clever device before. Your life in pictures, everything you do all day long. And hey, don't worry about someone else taking photos that seem somewhat invasive of other people's privacy. It says on their website not to take inappropriate pictures, so problem solved.
Stephen did note that if he had had this Memoto earlier this year, he could have captured the beginning and the end of Tim Pawlenty's presidential election in two pictures.
Here's something that pundits have been talking about since Mitt Romney started running for president. I don't have that exact date that Mitt Romney started running for president, but that isn't important here. What is important is whether or not Mitt's Mormon religion will turn some voters away.
Luckily, Billy Graham stepped up to the plate at just the right moment. Whereas Mormons used to be on Billy Graham's Cult List, the Mormon religion or Latter Day Saints, has been removed recently and they are no longer a Cult in Billy Graham's humble opinion. Stephen called this a miracle. Billy Graham is now pledging to do all he can to help Romney.
David Byrne and St. Vincent were the guests last night. They had a lively discussion, with Stephen happy to point out the vast difference in the age of those two. So, it's not as if he called David Byrne old. I would imagine you might just say he is youth-challenged. One of the first thing the three of them did was to figure out a way to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Sandy. It was a very interesting approach, partly because the hurricane caused the predicament that would then become the means of raising money. That Stephen Colbert has such great ideas.
Stephen asked both of them if being artists and musicians made them feel like they missed out on the opportunity to be ordinary. But both David Byrne and St. Vincent, or Annie as Stephen called her, claimed to believe that they were just ordinary folk.
Finally, time for some music. And as usual some bonus music on the web at Colbert Nation.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Grace and Grit
First of all, donate to the Red Cross. That was the first thing on Stephen's mind as he finally was able to broadcast the show. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross to aid in their relief efforts for all the people affected by Hurricane Sandy.
Stephen also gave a big shout-out to the nurses, or heroes as he calls them, who evacuated 20 newborns from NYU Langone Medical Center, carrying them down the stairs while holding flashlights to see. Also a big thank-you to the worker who was in a tree cutting down branches with a chainsaw so that the branches would not fall and cause further damage.
"In a tree with a chainsaw - safest place to be in a hurricane." Stephen knows his hurricane preparedness!
Also Stephen heaped praise on Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey, for his tireless efforts to get help for the people in his state also hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. (It's sadly ironic that Sandy will also be known for all the sand it has moved around, sand that doesn't flow back to sea after the storm is over.)
Stephen talked briefly about Mitt Romney's sudden change of events. No longer was he going to campaign in Ohio. Now he was going to have a charity event. Not necessarily helpful.
Providing in-depth commentary to all the recent events about Hurricane Sandy was R.E.M. member and The Colbert Report studio statuette, Michael Stipe. It was refreshing to get his perspective.
Interestingly enough, Mitt Romney has said prior to Hurricane Sandy that he believes States rather than FEMA should provide disaster help. Yes, agreed Stephen. After all, "Who better to respond to what's going on inside its own borders that the state whose infrastructure has just been swept out to sea?" And in a Romney administration, Paul Ryan will personally come to your devastated town and wash your already clean pots.
In these time of trial we always have Donald Trump's Twitter Feed. You may remember his offer of $5 Million Dollars to Charity? He has extended the deadline a few hours. In appreciation, Stephen has extended his deadline on his own offer to Donald Trump. Stephen called Donald's offer a "heartwarming act of extortion lost in Hurricane Sandy suffering.
Again, Stephen suggests we all give generously to the Red Cross.
Stephen's guest last night was Lilly Ledbetter. Stephen is so generous to his guests that she got to stay in a total of three hotels since she came to New York on Sunday. They talked about her struggle to get equal pay for equal work. The story is all in her book and interestingly enough, the first law Barack Obama signed is named after her. Go out and buy Grace and Grit My Fight for Equal Pay and Fairness at Goodyear and Beyond. Then read it to find out what she and Stephen were talking about.
Final time for the night. Text RED CROSS to 90999.
Stephen also gave a big shout-out to the nurses, or heroes as he calls them, who evacuated 20 newborns from NYU Langone Medical Center, carrying them down the stairs while holding flashlights to see. Also a big thank-you to the worker who was in a tree cutting down branches with a chainsaw so that the branches would not fall and cause further damage.
"In a tree with a chainsaw - safest place to be in a hurricane." Stephen knows his hurricane preparedness!
Also Stephen heaped praise on Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey, for his tireless efforts to get help for the people in his state also hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. (It's sadly ironic that Sandy will also be known for all the sand it has moved around, sand that doesn't flow back to sea after the storm is over.)
Stephen talked briefly about Mitt Romney's sudden change of events. No longer was he going to campaign in Ohio. Now he was going to have a charity event. Not necessarily helpful.
Providing in-depth commentary to all the recent events about Hurricane Sandy was R.E.M. member and The Colbert Report studio statuette, Michael Stipe. It was refreshing to get his perspective.
Interestingly enough, Mitt Romney has said prior to Hurricane Sandy that he believes States rather than FEMA should provide disaster help. Yes, agreed Stephen. After all, "Who better to respond to what's going on inside its own borders that the state whose infrastructure has just been swept out to sea?" And in a Romney administration, Paul Ryan will personally come to your devastated town and wash your already clean pots.
In these time of trial we always have Donald Trump's Twitter Feed. You may remember his offer of $5 Million Dollars to Charity? He has extended the deadline a few hours. In appreciation, Stephen has extended his deadline on his own offer to Donald Trump. Stephen called Donald's offer a "heartwarming act of extortion lost in Hurricane Sandy suffering.
Again, Stephen suggests we all give generously to the Red Cross.
Stephen's guest last night was Lilly Ledbetter. Stephen is so generous to his guests that she got to stay in a total of three hotels since she came to New York on Sunday. They talked about her struggle to get equal pay for equal work. The story is all in her book and interestingly enough, the first law Barack Obama signed is named after her. Go out and buy Grace and Grit My Fight for Equal Pay and Fairness at Goodyear and Beyond. Then read it to find out what she and Stephen were talking about.
Final time for the night. Text RED CROSS to 90999.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Attractive Default Expression
Fans of The Colbert Report may be surprised to learn that a Parachute is Not Included. You've been warned.
Stephen watched the Presidential Debate last night and admitted to playing a drinking game. You know how that always turns out. We did learn that basically (n)+4 years=4 years more than (n). No surprise there. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney was depressed that he didn't get to play back-up acoustic guitar on Barack Obama's successful Apology Tour. Brit Hume awarded the coveted "Attractive Default Expression" to Mitt Romney. For a while, I thought Stephen was going to spend the rest of the show just gazing at Mitt's Attractive Default Expression, but luckily, as Stephen often says, "moving on. "
Nell was featured for a short segment on the show. She is apparently one of the Undecided Voters. The typical Undecided is a single white female, 18-29 years old, employed but has a low income, comes from a Union household, didn't graduate from college, is Protestant but doesn't go to church, and most likely skipped watching the debate. After learning all that, we also learned that she while she is happy, she is still undecided.
Anyone who rides bicycles is most certainly aware that Lance Armstrong has been having some problems lately. Fans of the show will of course know that Stephen started his own Wriststrong charity to highlight wrist injuries. He explained in some detail certain aspects of his own life in colorful detail and his decision and the rationale behind that decision to step down as Chairman of Wriststrong. He will remain on the Board of Directors, and as the only person on the Board, will serve as interim Chairman. Friends of Colbert Nation will remember that the Wriststrong bracelets help raise money for the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
Just one more thing. Stephen will still keep his title, The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World but now he will be putting two large asterisks after it, so it will now be The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World**.
Stephen's guest was John Grisham who brought his newest book, "The Racketeer." Stephen mentioned another author, Stephen King, and although it's not a contest, Stephen King is winning with 48 books compared to John Grisham's 30 books. Stephen Colbert did say that "The Racketeer" is a great book. John Grisham said, "It's brilliant." Even though neither man is a comedian, the discussion seemed to generate more than the usual amount of laughter from the audience.
Stephen watched the Presidential Debate last night and admitted to playing a drinking game. You know how that always turns out. We did learn that basically (n)+4 years=4 years more than (n). No surprise there. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney was depressed that he didn't get to play back-up acoustic guitar on Barack Obama's successful Apology Tour. Brit Hume awarded the coveted "Attractive Default Expression" to Mitt Romney. For a while, I thought Stephen was going to spend the rest of the show just gazing at Mitt's Attractive Default Expression, but luckily, as Stephen often says, "moving on. "
Nell was featured for a short segment on the show. She is apparently one of the Undecided Voters. The typical Undecided is a single white female, 18-29 years old, employed but has a low income, comes from a Union household, didn't graduate from college, is Protestant but doesn't go to church, and most likely skipped watching the debate. After learning all that, we also learned that she while she is happy, she is still undecided.
Anyone who rides bicycles is most certainly aware that Lance Armstrong has been having some problems lately. Fans of the show will of course know that Stephen started his own Wriststrong charity to highlight wrist injuries. He explained in some detail certain aspects of his own life in colorful detail and his decision and the rationale behind that decision to step down as Chairman of Wriststrong. He will remain on the Board of Directors, and as the only person on the Board, will serve as interim Chairman. Friends of Colbert Nation will remember that the Wriststrong bracelets help raise money for the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
Just one more thing. Stephen will still keep his title, The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World but now he will be putting two large asterisks after it, so it will now be The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World**.
Stephen's guest was John Grisham who brought his newest book, "The Racketeer." Stephen mentioned another author, Stephen King, and although it's not a contest, Stephen King is winning with 48 books compared to John Grisham's 30 books. Stephen Colbert did say that "The Racketeer" is a great book. John Grisham said, "It's brilliant." Even though neither man is a comedian, the discussion seemed to generate more than the usual amount of laughter from the audience.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
When the Sun Doesn't Shine
While Voter Fraud seems to be a real problem over at FOX, Stephen did not show us any examples of Voter Fraud because it is virtually nonexistent. However there is an arrest linked to Voter Registration that Stephen told us about. It seems Colin Small has been charged with destruction of voter registration applications. It's very interesting reading. I wonder if this is the big October surprise some people are talking about.
To continue with the voting theme, Stephen talked about more voting issues. (Oh, great. Now my phone is ringing. Hold on. ...... Okay, I'm back but I missed what Stephen was talking about.)
Here is voting information that you can check out yourself. I apologize for not getting exactly what Stephen said, but this should be helpful. Here's more info if you need it.
Yet more about elections, but this this time with a "who's the boss" flavor to it. It seems the boss is encouraging employees who to vote for in that they are saying things like, "Vote for Romney. I'm not saying you'll lose your job is you vote for Obama, but I am saying you should vote for Romney, wink wink nod nod." Stephen had the example of David Siegel, but there are others also. And while some may call it CEO black mail, Stephen prefers to use the term "Efficient Use of Resources."
In a related development, Stephen nailed his intern Jay into a crate to be mailed off to Ohio to knock on doors for Romney. Stephen all but ignored Jay's declaration that he will be voting for Obama. Luckily for Jay, there are air holes in the crate. Unluckily, there is no food. The only solution was, of course, for Stephen to sprinkle Cheerios into the air holes. Good luck, Jay!
Finally, in something political and yet somewhat pharmaceutical, Stephen explained the situation in New York where Governor Andrew Cuomo has or had plans to decriminalize possession of small amounts of marijuana. This was turning into an interesting segment with Stephen making valid points until he "messed" up. (Please substitute a word of your choice for "messed.") Get your act together Stephen!
Stephen got his act together in time for the guest, Donald Sadoway, Professor of Materials Chemistry at MIT. After finding out what Materials Chemistry and Modern Material Science is, Stephen especially wanted to know how to remove that sticky residue left from price tags and labels on the products we buy. But what Donald Sadoway really wanted to talk about was a liquid metal battery. He had a photo of a prototype. Stephen could tell it looked like a sandwich. He was instructed that it is not edible.
In the question and answer part, Stephen got into the guts of this science with great questions.
"Why do we need a new battery?"
-- "Batteries of today are too expensive and they don't last long enough."
"Is this going to replace what we're using now?"
-- "Yes."
Stephen thinks two nails in a lemon is a perfectly fine battery and said as much when he asked,
"So, you built a better lemon?"
(What can you say to a question like that? Obviously the guy thinks he built something great, but if he admits to building a better lemon, well, that doesn't sound that great.)
Best question:
"If this thing works, are you a Gajillionaire?"
-- "Maybe."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update/Apology/Mea Culpa - After saying that Stephen should get his act together, it took me two days to remember that Andrew Cuomo is Governor of New York, not Mayor of New York City. What was my brain thinking????
To continue with the voting theme, Stephen talked about more voting issues. (Oh, great. Now my phone is ringing. Hold on. ...... Okay, I'm back but I missed what Stephen was talking about.)
Here is voting information that you can check out yourself. I apologize for not getting exactly what Stephen said, but this should be helpful. Here's more info if you need it.
Yet more about elections, but this this time with a "who's the boss" flavor to it. It seems the boss is encouraging employees who to vote for in that they are saying things like, "Vote for Romney. I'm not saying you'll lose your job is you vote for Obama, but I am saying you should vote for Romney, wink wink nod nod." Stephen had the example of David Siegel, but there are others also. And while some may call it CEO black mail, Stephen prefers to use the term "Efficient Use of Resources."
In a related development, Stephen nailed his intern Jay into a crate to be mailed off to Ohio to knock on doors for Romney. Stephen all but ignored Jay's declaration that he will be voting for Obama. Luckily for Jay, there are air holes in the crate. Unluckily, there is no food. The only solution was, of course, for Stephen to sprinkle Cheerios into the air holes. Good luck, Jay!
Finally, in something political and yet somewhat pharmaceutical, Stephen explained the situation in New York where Governor Andrew Cuomo has or had plans to decriminalize possession of small amounts of marijuana. This was turning into an interesting segment with Stephen making valid points until he "messed" up. (Please substitute a word of your choice for "messed.") Get your act together Stephen!
Stephen got his act together in time for the guest, Donald Sadoway, Professor of Materials Chemistry at MIT. After finding out what Materials Chemistry and Modern Material Science is, Stephen especially wanted to know how to remove that sticky residue left from price tags and labels on the products we buy. But what Donald Sadoway really wanted to talk about was a liquid metal battery. He had a photo of a prototype. Stephen could tell it looked like a sandwich. He was instructed that it is not edible.
In the question and answer part, Stephen got into the guts of this science with great questions.
"Why do we need a new battery?"
-- "Batteries of today are too expensive and they don't last long enough."
"Is this going to replace what we're using now?"
-- "Yes."
Stephen thinks two nails in a lemon is a perfectly fine battery and said as much when he asked,
"So, you built a better lemon?"
(What can you say to a question like that? Obviously the guy thinks he built something great, but if he admits to building a better lemon, well, that doesn't sound that great.)
Best question:
"If this thing works, are you a Gajillionaire?"
-- "Maybe."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update/Apology/Mea Culpa - After saying that Stephen should get his act together, it took me two days to remember that Andrew Cuomo is Governor of New York, not Mayor of New York City. What was my brain thinking????
Monday, October 22, 2012
Rodents For Romney
President Barack Obama may have lots of Hollywood stars supporting him, but Mitt Romney has the all important squirrel vote. Sounds like a done deal to me.
I think this could be because Mitt Romney has an ambitious agenda. This is what Mitt Romney has been saying he will do on that all important Day One. (Not to be confused with One Day or someday.)
3/31 Repeal Obamacare
6/15 Americans back to work
12/16 Label China a currency manipulator
6/14 Get approval for pipeline from Canada
6/14 Put a halt to all regulations from Obama years
(Let me just put in a word about regulations. It can be cheaper to make things and sell things without all those pesky regulations getting in the way. Regulations such as food safety for example. None of us want to have exploding ketchup. Am I right or am I right??? So, let's not be so quick to get rid of regulations. Just sayin'.)
Stephen just happens to have Mitt Romney's Day One Schedule:
January 20, 2013
8:00 a.m. to Noon --- Inauguration
12:30 --- Appoint Cabinet
1:00 --- Take photo for White House ID
1:07 --- Retake Photo!!!!
1:45 --- Repeal Obamacare
2:30 --- Examine remains of Roswell Aliens
3:00 --- Unwrap Oval Office label maker
3:15 --- Label China a currency manipulator
4:00 --- Pick nuclear launch codes: Zip code+Ann's birthday (?)
6:00 --- Take down Biden's Old Eric Estrada posters
6:15 --- Get everyone in America a job
8:00 --- Activate self-deportation
9:00 --- Immigration solved
10:00 --- With Presidency completed, resign and attend inauguration of President Ryan
Corn may be something you think of as eating with your meat loaf and mashed potatoes. But it is important for so many more reasons that just a food for supper. Stuff, lots of stuff, is made from corn, including candy. That is turning out to be a better meal option for cows. Yes, cows are turning away from, or being turned away from, corn and instead eating candy corn. It may seem appropriate at this time of year to be reporting about candy corn, but it is even more timely than that. Stephen took us to Mitchell, South Dakota and uncovers every kernel of truth about the Corn Palace there. Due to the drought, there is not as much corn, and as a result, the Corn Palace will not have as many colors this year. It's sad, so sad. I'm heartbroken.
Guests on the show Thursday night were The Killers. According to Wikipedia's entry about The Killers, their band originated in Las Vegas. Obviously what happens in Las Vegas doesn't necessarily stay in Las Vegas. (They have been traveling around to lots of cities playing their music and singing!) If you did not see them on The Colbert Report, you can always go over to Colbert Nation to view recent episodes.
I think this could be because Mitt Romney has an ambitious agenda. This is what Mitt Romney has been saying he will do on that all important Day One. (Not to be confused with One Day or someday.)
3/31 Repeal Obamacare
6/15 Americans back to work
12/16 Label China a currency manipulator
6/14 Get approval for pipeline from Canada
6/14 Put a halt to all regulations from Obama years
(Let me just put in a word about regulations. It can be cheaper to make things and sell things without all those pesky regulations getting in the way. Regulations such as food safety for example. None of us want to have exploding ketchup. Am I right or am I right??? So, let's not be so quick to get rid of regulations. Just sayin'.)
Stephen just happens to have Mitt Romney's Day One Schedule:
January 20, 2013
8:00 a.m. to Noon --- Inauguration
12:30 --- Appoint Cabinet
1:00 --- Take photo for White House ID
1:07 --- Retake Photo!!!!
1:45 --- Repeal Obamacare
2:30 --- Examine remains of Roswell Aliens
3:00 --- Unwrap Oval Office label maker
3:15 --- Label China a currency manipulator
4:00 --- Pick nuclear launch codes: Zip code+Ann's birthday (?)
6:00 --- Take down Biden's Old Eric Estrada posters
6:15 --- Get everyone in America a job
8:00 --- Activate self-deportation
9:00 --- Immigration solved
10:00 --- With Presidency completed, resign and attend inauguration of President Ryan
Corn may be something you think of as eating with your meat loaf and mashed potatoes. But it is important for so many more reasons that just a food for supper. Stuff, lots of stuff, is made from corn, including candy. That is turning out to be a better meal option for cows. Yes, cows are turning away from, or being turned away from, corn and instead eating candy corn. It may seem appropriate at this time of year to be reporting about candy corn, but it is even more timely than that. Stephen took us to Mitchell, South Dakota and uncovers every kernel of truth about the Corn Palace there. Due to the drought, there is not as much corn, and as a result, the Corn Palace will not have as many colors this year. It's sad, so sad. I'm heartbroken.
Guests on the show Thursday night were The Killers. According to Wikipedia's entry about The Killers, their band originated in Las Vegas. Obviously what happens in Las Vegas doesn't necessarily stay in Las Vegas. (They have been traveling around to lots of cities playing their music and singing!) If you did not see them on The Colbert Report, you can always go over to Colbert Nation to view recent episodes.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
I Like the Rose Garden, The Roses Are the Right Height
Stephen was excited about the presidential debate on Tuesday night. He talked about some of the preparation by Mitt Romney which included bar-stool sitting. He's a Mormon, so he has no experience in sitting on stools.
Everyone seemed to be in agreement with Stephen about how great the debate was. One of the hotly debated topics was Libya and the attack that happened in Libya. Mitt was all prepared to score and Stephen was excited by that prospect.
Mitt Romney: "I think it's interesting the President just said something which which is on the day after the attack he went in the Rose Garden and said this was an act of terror."
Barack Obama: "That's right, sir."
Mitt Romney: "You said in the Rose Garden the day after the attack it was an act of terror?"
And then, Mitt Romney gave Barack Obama the dreaded googly-eyed stare and a nod of his head down.
Mitt Romney: "It was not a spontaneous demonstration? Is that what you're saying?"
Barack Obama: "Please proceed, Governor."
Mitt Romney: "I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the President 14 days before he called the attack in Benhgazi an act of terror."
Barack Obama: "Get the transcript."
The moderator clarified the whole issue by saying the President did in fact say it was an act of terror on the day after the attacks.
Barack Obama: "Can you say that a little louder, Candy?"
Stephen had a conniption and Mitt Romney had that kind of "deer staring into headlights" look.
Stephen Colbert: "It's supposed to shake things up the other way!" This was not going well for either Stephen or Mitt.
Part of the blame could be the questions. According to Megyn Kelly, the questions were stupid ones about topics we haven't heard before. And there were crazy subjects such as equal pay for women and gun violence. (How do we get more of the first one and less of the second?)
Mitt Romney had a suggestion on how to cut down on gun violence: "But, gosh, to tell our kids that before they have babies they ought to think of getting married to someone. That's a great idea." So, gun violence - solved.
Alpha Dog of the Week. Lately Stephen has been having Alpha Dogs that have been sort of wimpy. Not tonight. Tonight he told us about Dr. Scott Desjarlais. (It has something to do with hypocrisy.)
There are a lot of reasons why he gets top billing in the dog department. First of all, he says he is pro-life. According to his website, "All life should be cherished and protected. We are pro-life." Secondly, he had an affair with a patient. When she said she was pregnant, Dr. Desjarlais urged her to get an abortion. That's not enough to get Alpha Dog billing, though. Additionally, he made a tape of the conversation with his mistress about an abortion. And he did this because he thought it would repair his marriage. Stephen tells us that for some reason his wife still divorced him, so ladies, he's available. Technically, he's remarried but that never stopped him before. So, for growling at abortion and then begging for it, Stephen made Dr. Scott Desjarlais the Alpha Dog of the Week.
Stephen's guest last night was a writer, a director, a producer, and a star. It was really one person, not four - Tyler Perry. Stephen mentioned, as he often does, that it's not a contest but he's winning. (I think Stephen is perhaps somewhat competitive, but I'm not going to say that.) They talked about Tyler Perry's new movie, "Alex Cross." Stephen thought it was a comedy, but it appears to be more of a fast-paced action thriller.
Next question asked was if Tyler Perry was a Romney guy. Tyler Perry avoided answering that question, so we will never know who Tyler Perry supports for president. One thing we did learn is that he is ready for the election to be over with. "Let's just vote already!" he told Stephen.
The two men ended the show in prayer with Stephen praying that Alex Cross would be a huge success.
Everyone seemed to be in agreement with Stephen about how great the debate was. One of the hotly debated topics was Libya and the attack that happened in Libya. Mitt was all prepared to score and Stephen was excited by that prospect.
Mitt Romney: "I think it's interesting the President just said something which which is on the day after the attack he went in the Rose Garden and said this was an act of terror."
Barack Obama: "That's right, sir."
Mitt Romney: "You said in the Rose Garden the day after the attack it was an act of terror?"
And then, Mitt Romney gave Barack Obama the dreaded googly-eyed stare and a nod of his head down.
Mitt Romney: "It was not a spontaneous demonstration? Is that what you're saying?"
Barack Obama: "Please proceed, Governor."
Mitt Romney: "I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the President 14 days before he called the attack in Benhgazi an act of terror."
Barack Obama: "Get the transcript."
The moderator clarified the whole issue by saying the President did in fact say it was an act of terror on the day after the attacks.
Barack Obama: "Can you say that a little louder, Candy?"
Stephen had a conniption and Mitt Romney had that kind of "deer staring into headlights" look.
Stephen Colbert: "It's supposed to shake things up the other way!" This was not going well for either Stephen or Mitt.
Part of the blame could be the questions. According to Megyn Kelly, the questions were stupid ones about topics we haven't heard before. And there were crazy subjects such as equal pay for women and gun violence. (How do we get more of the first one and less of the second?)
Mitt Romney had a suggestion on how to cut down on gun violence: "But, gosh, to tell our kids that before they have babies they ought to think of getting married to someone. That's a great idea." So, gun violence - solved.
Alpha Dog of the Week. Lately Stephen has been having Alpha Dogs that have been sort of wimpy. Not tonight. Tonight he told us about Dr. Scott Desjarlais. (It has something to do with hypocrisy.)
There are a lot of reasons why he gets top billing in the dog department. First of all, he says he is pro-life. According to his website, "All life should be cherished and protected. We are pro-life." Secondly, he had an affair with a patient. When she said she was pregnant, Dr. Desjarlais urged her to get an abortion. That's not enough to get Alpha Dog billing, though. Additionally, he made a tape of the conversation with his mistress about an abortion. And he did this because he thought it would repair his marriage. Stephen tells us that for some reason his wife still divorced him, so ladies, he's available. Technically, he's remarried but that never stopped him before. So, for growling at abortion and then begging for it, Stephen made Dr. Scott Desjarlais the Alpha Dog of the Week.
Stephen's guest last night was a writer, a director, a producer, and a star. It was really one person, not four - Tyler Perry. Stephen mentioned, as he often does, that it's not a contest but he's winning. (I think Stephen is perhaps somewhat competitive, but I'm not going to say that.) They talked about Tyler Perry's new movie, "Alex Cross." Stephen thought it was a comedy, but it appears to be more of a fast-paced action thriller.
Next question asked was if Tyler Perry was a Romney guy. Tyler Perry avoided answering that question, so we will never know who Tyler Perry supports for president. One thing we did learn is that he is ready for the election to be over with. "Let's just vote already!" he told Stephen.
The two men ended the show in prayer with Stephen praying that Alex Cross would be a huge success.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Big Bird Wins 83% of Votes
My poll is over and the results are in. If Stephen Colbert was unable to be the host on The Colbert Report, 83% voted for Big Bird and 16% voted for Mitt Romney to fill in as host.
It seems like common sense that Big Bird would fill in. Just think of Stephen Colbert standing next to Big Bird. They look so much alike in that both are good looking. They both have lots of friends. Many important and influential people make guest appearances on both of their shows.
Stephen is a Conservative. And Big Bird, while not politically active, seems to share some of the same qualities as Stephen. I found this article in Time by James Poniewozik about Big Bird.
Of course, Stephen is very healthy and loves his work, so other than the occasional time off when he does things such as going on boat rides, I don't foresee him missing a show and needing a substitute host. But if that happens, Big Bird would be the obvious choice.
It seems like common sense that Big Bird would fill in. Just think of Stephen Colbert standing next to Big Bird. They look so much alike in that both are good looking. They both have lots of friends. Many important and influential people make guest appearances on both of their shows.
Stephen is a Conservative. And Big Bird, while not politically active, seems to share some of the same qualities as Stephen. I found this article in Time by James Poniewozik about Big Bird.
Of course, Stephen is very healthy and loves his work, so other than the occasional time off when he does things such as going on boat rides, I don't foresee him missing a show and needing a substitute host. But if that happens, Big Bird would be the obvious choice.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Do You Know the Way to Santa Fe?
I have been trying since Thursday night to get to Santa Fe. I think I should be able to get there in just three seconds by using the nodules on my fingertips, but I am having no success at all. I finally decided to give up trying and get back to posting here. If anyone figures it out, let me know.
Meanwhile...
Stephen's audience was again quite boisterous. Perhaps Stephen is providing snacks or something to get them so excited. It is refreshing to have such enthusiasm.
You may have watched the Veep Debate, the one with Martha Raddatz and also Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. Some people are saying that there was a clear political bias in that choice of a moderator. You see, years ago, in 1991, Barack Obama attended the wedding of a classmate. That classmate happened to be marrying Martha Raddatz. She ended up getting divorced, but Stephen pointed out that surely she would still hold a special place in her heart for a classmate of her ex-husband. Right?
None of that is important now. Stephen introduced a new segment: "This Changes Everything." In what can really be called game-changing, we found out from Stephen's relentless search for, I dunno, maybe the truth, that Time Travel is possible. We know this because Andrew Basiago has done it. He has traveled through time. He did so when he was a kid, a young kid. He said that they used "jump rooms" to do the time travel. He also traveled to Mars with Barack Obama. Stephen showed video footage of an expert, Captain James Kirk discussing this. Whoooooosshhhhhh. He explained it very well. I understood it completely. "Priceline.com" Priceline.com." Only William Shatner can make something like this understandable. It's classic. I hope you saw it on the TV machine or go catch it over at Colbert Nation. This Changes Everything. (Full disclosure: Some people are skeptical of these claims of Andrew Basiago. I mean, time travel.... teleportation.... really?... really?)
Political News is almost a certainty with the election so close. Mitt Romney has for two years been a severe Conservative, but now Mitt Romney has moved to the Center. Therefore, it was time for Stephen Colbert to debate Stephen Colbert in, yes you guessed it, Formidable Opponent. First of all, Stephen autographed his new book, "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't" for Stephen. Shameless plug, yes, but I endorse him for doing so. Somehow, the two of them were able to bring Honey Boo Boo into the debate but then quickly got over to Romney Care and Obama Care and how the two were so similar. Plan probably is for Mitt Romney, if elected, to repeal Obama Care, clone it and replace it with Romney Care. Stephen was confounded and confused by Stephen. So they physically exchanged places. Apparently, Stephen tripped Stephen in the process. It got more confusing and the two of them wondered how Mitt Romney manages all the switching of positions or flip-flops.
The guest was Chrystia Freeland talking about Plutocrats. Interestingly enough, she has a new book out - "Plutocrats, The Rise of the New Global Super Rich and the Fall of Everyone Else." Stephen was upset that he is not one of the super rich. That would be the richest of the richest. If you are reading this, I'm pretty sure you are not in that group either. But, the good news is that would at least put you in the same group as Stephen. Well, anyway, it is a little bit scary what they were talking about. It's a winner take all, ALL!, economy. That may not be be a great way to run things in terms of the collective good.
Stephen was going to remind us all of what Thomas Jefferson said, but, the audience (boisterous) applauded the guest, Chrystia Freeland. This hurt Stephen's feelings and so we never found out what was so important that Thomas Jefferson said.
As a service to all of you reading this now, I looked through some of Thomas Jefferson's quotes to try to determine what Stephen was going to reveal. I do not know, but I can suggest that maybe it was this quote by Thomas Jefferson:
"Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor."
On the other hand, maybe Stephen was going to quote this from Jefferson: "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
Meanwhile...
Stephen's audience was again quite boisterous. Perhaps Stephen is providing snacks or something to get them so excited. It is refreshing to have such enthusiasm.
You may have watched the Veep Debate, the one with Martha Raddatz and also Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. Some people are saying that there was a clear political bias in that choice of a moderator. You see, years ago, in 1991, Barack Obama attended the wedding of a classmate. That classmate happened to be marrying Martha Raddatz. She ended up getting divorced, but Stephen pointed out that surely she would still hold a special place in her heart for a classmate of her ex-husband. Right?
None of that is important now. Stephen introduced a new segment: "This Changes Everything." In what can really be called game-changing, we found out from Stephen's relentless search for, I dunno, maybe the truth, that Time Travel is possible. We know this because Andrew Basiago has done it. He has traveled through time. He did so when he was a kid, a young kid. He said that they used "jump rooms" to do the time travel. He also traveled to Mars with Barack Obama. Stephen showed video footage of an expert, Captain James Kirk discussing this. Whoooooosshhhhhh. He explained it very well. I understood it completely. "Priceline.com" Priceline.com." Only William Shatner can make something like this understandable. It's classic. I hope you saw it on the TV machine or go catch it over at Colbert Nation. This Changes Everything. (Full disclosure: Some people are skeptical of these claims of Andrew Basiago. I mean, time travel.... teleportation.... really?... really?)
Political News is almost a certainty with the election so close. Mitt Romney has for two years been a severe Conservative, but now Mitt Romney has moved to the Center. Therefore, it was time for Stephen Colbert to debate Stephen Colbert in, yes you guessed it, Formidable Opponent. First of all, Stephen autographed his new book, "America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't" for Stephen. Shameless plug, yes, but I endorse him for doing so. Somehow, the two of them were able to bring Honey Boo Boo into the debate but then quickly got over to Romney Care and Obama Care and how the two were so similar. Plan probably is for Mitt Romney, if elected, to repeal Obama Care, clone it and replace it with Romney Care. Stephen was confounded and confused by Stephen. So they physically exchanged places. Apparently, Stephen tripped Stephen in the process. It got more confusing and the two of them wondered how Mitt Romney manages all the switching of positions or flip-flops.
The guest was Chrystia Freeland talking about Plutocrats. Interestingly enough, she has a new book out - "Plutocrats, The Rise of the New Global Super Rich and the Fall of Everyone Else." Stephen was upset that he is not one of the super rich. That would be the richest of the richest. If you are reading this, I'm pretty sure you are not in that group either. But, the good news is that would at least put you in the same group as Stephen. Well, anyway, it is a little bit scary what they were talking about. It's a winner take all, ALL!, economy. That may not be be a great way to run things in terms of the collective good.
Stephen was going to remind us all of what Thomas Jefferson said, but, the audience (boisterous) applauded the guest, Chrystia Freeland. This hurt Stephen's feelings and so we never found out what was so important that Thomas Jefferson said.
As a service to all of you reading this now, I looked through some of Thomas Jefferson's quotes to try to determine what Stephen was going to reveal. I do not know, but I can suggest that maybe it was this quote by Thomas Jefferson:
"Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor."
On the other hand, maybe Stephen was going to quote this from Jefferson: "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Like It Says On The Side Of My Van
Stephen's audience last night was the best, or at least the loudest, and most attentive, of any audience I can remember seeing/hearing on The Colbert Report. I wonder if they got an award.
Presidential election. It should be easy to figure out who will win. Just travel all over the country, ask millions of people what they think and who they will vote for. Or, get a cup of coffee at 7-Eleven. It seems that in the past 2 presidential elections, 7-Eleven has been able to accurately predict the winner. You walk in, grab a blue Obama coffee cup or a red Romney coffee cup and the rest is or will be history. Currently, Obama has 60% compared to Romney's 40%. Stephen pointed out the obvious flaw in this poll. Mormons can't drink coffee! Stephen has suggested that we should be requiring voter ID of anyone buying a cup of joe.
Next in presidential election news is pizza. Pizza Hut is also throwing their pizza into the ring. It has prompted some to say they are promoting product placement when we should be promoting democracy. Kurt Kane, CMO of Pizza Hut, issued a statement about this:
"We recognize there are a lot of serious issues to be debated, but we also know a lot less serious - but no less important - ones are being discussed every night inside houses across the country."
Stephen did not have a photo of Kurt Kane, but he did have a visual approximation. We all know that visual approximations are just as good as actual photograph.
Stephen moved away from presidential elections and over to education. An article in US News from a while back talked about Kids in Poor Neighborhoods Fall Behind in School. While there might be many obvious and good solutions, Stephen brought up another one. Dr. Michael Anderson prescribes Adderall for struggling students.
As you all most likely know, Stephen considers bears to be a great threat. Tonight he talked about bears who steal iPads, bears who shop at Sears and bears who eat at Olive Garden. I guess he is right to be so afraid of bears.
Naomi Wolf was the guest on the show. Stephen had lots of questions, lots of answers and generally kept her in good spirits. She has a new book out, Vagina: A New Biography. Some of his questions were of the general type, variations of, "How are you?" Other questions were more specific, such as "Where is this lab?" I think he came away from the interview with increased knowledge and appreciation of Naomi's observations of many topics.
Presidential election. It should be easy to figure out who will win. Just travel all over the country, ask millions of people what they think and who they will vote for. Or, get a cup of coffee at 7-Eleven. It seems that in the past 2 presidential elections, 7-Eleven has been able to accurately predict the winner. You walk in, grab a blue Obama coffee cup or a red Romney coffee cup and the rest is or will be history. Currently, Obama has 60% compared to Romney's 40%. Stephen pointed out the obvious flaw in this poll. Mormons can't drink coffee! Stephen has suggested that we should be requiring voter ID of anyone buying a cup of joe.
Next in presidential election news is pizza. Pizza Hut is also throwing their pizza into the ring. It has prompted some to say they are promoting product placement when we should be promoting democracy. Kurt Kane, CMO of Pizza Hut, issued a statement about this:
"We recognize there are a lot of serious issues to be debated, but we also know a lot less serious - but no less important - ones are being discussed every night inside houses across the country."
Stephen did not have a photo of Kurt Kane, but he did have a visual approximation. We all know that visual approximations are just as good as actual photograph.
Stephen moved away from presidential elections and over to education. An article in US News from a while back talked about Kids in Poor Neighborhoods Fall Behind in School. While there might be many obvious and good solutions, Stephen brought up another one. Dr. Michael Anderson prescribes Adderall for struggling students.
As you all most likely know, Stephen considers bears to be a great threat. Tonight he talked about bears who steal iPads, bears who shop at Sears and bears who eat at Olive Garden. I guess he is right to be so afraid of bears.
Naomi Wolf was the guest on the show. Stephen had lots of questions, lots of answers and generally kept her in good spirits. She has a new book out, Vagina: A New Biography. Some of his questions were of the general type, variations of, "How are you?" Other questions were more specific, such as "Where is this lab?" I think he came away from the interview with increased knowledge and appreciation of Naomi's observations of many topics.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Free Range Interns
I'll be brief. (Halloween AND the upcoming election are keeping me so very busy.)
Mitt Romney now has a plausible chance at winning. Stephen had very detailed suggestions for what the supporters of President Obama need to do. The Arctic Sea Ice is shrinking - well, duh, that water is freezing cold. Of course it's gonna shrink. There's a lot more interest in that whole Arctic region by nearly everyone. But really, it belongs to Santa.
Mitt Romney will solve all the Mideast problems. For example, he will put the leaders on Iran on notice. Stephen demonstrated with the On Notice Board. Wow. That was easy. Problem solved.
The guest tonight was Morrissey. They had a very vigorous discussion about the queen and what people should eat. For as serious as the discussion was, it sure brought out the laughs from the audience. I wonder if it was something Stephen said.
Whew, I hope stuff settles down so I can write more.
Mitt Romney now has a plausible chance at winning. Stephen had very detailed suggestions for what the supporters of President Obama need to do. The Arctic Sea Ice is shrinking - well, duh, that water is freezing cold. Of course it's gonna shrink. There's a lot more interest in that whole Arctic region by nearly everyone. But really, it belongs to Santa.
Mitt Romney will solve all the Mideast problems. For example, he will put the leaders on Iran on notice. Stephen demonstrated with the On Notice Board. Wow. That was easy. Problem solved.
The guest tonight was Morrissey. They had a very vigorous discussion about the queen and what people should eat. For as serious as the discussion was, it sure brought out the laughs from the audience. I wonder if it was something Stephen said.
Whew, I hope stuff settles down so I can write more.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Blame Big Bird
It seems to be that one thing that stands out from the first presidential debates. I am of course talking about Mitt Romney saying he likes Big Bird, but he doesn't seem to want to pay Big Bird's wages anymore. Well, this has caused an uproar, or maybe upsquawk would be the proper term.
Big Bird is very famous. He is a television icon. He is a movie star. He even has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! (Who else has a star there? Ronald Reagan.) And he is loved by millions. Millions of moms who enjoyed watching Sesame Street with millions of kid who are now of voting age. Millions of dads who pretended to be the Count when teaching their own kids how to count their toes and fingers. Millions of grandparents who are on Medicare but still want their grandchildren to be able to enjoy all the fun and educational benefits of Sesame Street.
So, was this another gaffe? I think so. It's people in the 47% that look to Big Bird and Sesame Street for the type of learning for their kids that might be out of reach for their finances. Perhaps they can't afford a nursery school for their small children, but they can turn on Sesame Street and watch with their kids while Big Bird and his many friends teach the alphabet, counting, important concepts such as "Near/Far," and just getting along with the people in your neighborhood.
Who else is as beloved as Big Bird? Who else is a television icon? Who else is a movie star? Who else is loved by millions? Oh, yeah. It's Stephen Colbert. How would we feel, how would this country survive without Stephen Colbert keeping us informed of all that matters in this world, if he was no longer on The Colbert Report? That brings it down to the gut level that we all can relate to.
Who do you think is more connected with the voters, with the television audience, with moms and pops and kids and grandparents? Well, here's one way to find out. I'll put up a poll. No, not a presidential poll. We all know Big Bird is too young to be president, plus, he is non-partisan. But what about this? Suppose Stephen were sick one night and could not do The Colbert Report. One solution would be reruns of previous episodes. Have they ever considered a substitute host for a night or two, just until Stephen got over his illness? (Remarkably, Stephen has not missed a show due to illness as far as I can remember. How does he stay in such good health?)
Okay, here it is. If Stephen were sick and could not do the show, who would you rather watch, Big Bird or Mitt Romney?
And just in case you don't know how serious this is, if you have the fortitude for it, go look at this.
Big Bird is very famous. He is a television icon. He is a movie star. He even has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! (Who else has a star there? Ronald Reagan.) And he is loved by millions. Millions of moms who enjoyed watching Sesame Street with millions of kid who are now of voting age. Millions of dads who pretended to be the Count when teaching their own kids how to count their toes and fingers. Millions of grandparents who are on Medicare but still want their grandchildren to be able to enjoy all the fun and educational benefits of Sesame Street.
So, was this another gaffe? I think so. It's people in the 47% that look to Big Bird and Sesame Street for the type of learning for their kids that might be out of reach for their finances. Perhaps they can't afford a nursery school for their small children, but they can turn on Sesame Street and watch with their kids while Big Bird and his many friends teach the alphabet, counting, important concepts such as "Near/Far," and just getting along with the people in your neighborhood.
Who else is as beloved as Big Bird? Who else is a television icon? Who else is a movie star? Who else is loved by millions? Oh, yeah. It's Stephen Colbert. How would we feel, how would this country survive without Stephen Colbert keeping us informed of all that matters in this world, if he was no longer on The Colbert Report? That brings it down to the gut level that we all can relate to.
Who do you think is more connected with the voters, with the television audience, with moms and pops and kids and grandparents? Well, here's one way to find out. I'll put up a poll. No, not a presidential poll. We all know Big Bird is too young to be president, plus, he is non-partisan. But what about this? Suppose Stephen were sick one night and could not do The Colbert Report. One solution would be reruns of previous episodes. Have they ever considered a substitute host for a night or two, just until Stephen got over his illness? (Remarkably, Stephen has not missed a show due to illness as far as I can remember. How does he stay in such good health?)
Okay, here it is. If Stephen were sick and could not do the show, who would you rather watch, Big Bird or Mitt Romney?
And just in case you don't know how serious this is, if you have the fortitude for it, go look at this.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Don't Eat It, Stephen
I admit that I did not watch the first Presidential Debate. I figured Stephen would fill in the important details, and he did. He had a great segment where he showed us how the debate looked. That only took about 30 seconds to watch, saving me a quite a bit of time. And he analyzed some of his fellow media analysts as they analyzed the debates. So it was helpful to get that analysis from people who make their career by digging into the details of what makes a good president. For example, Brit Hume shared that Mitt Romney was wearing a half smile, not a smirk during the debate. Stephen modeled both for us. That helps me decide who to vote for.
One of the things I learned was that Romney, who has been promising tax cuts for the rich, was scheduled to come across as warm and fuzzy in the debates according to his campaign. This is great, especially after that secret video came out where Romney said he doesn't care about 47% of Americans. If he can look into the camera, (probably a really big camera , making it easy for Romney to know there is a camera) and say, "I care," then people will believe that and forget the whole 47% fiasco.
Many times we hear pundits talking about our politicians. It's not often that we get to see a visual representation of what these candidates are like. Stephen was able to do that. He had an Etch-A-Sketch with the words "Tax Cuts" etched onto the screen. (By the way, if you don't know what an Etch-A-Sketch is, click here and then be sure to keep hitting refresh.) So, Stephen took that Etch-A-Sketch, put it in a paint can, took it over to his studio paint shaker and shook that can of paint. I have to stop here and wonder if Stephen always has a paint shaker in his studio, or did he bring it from home, or did he borrow it from Home Depot? Just wondering. Anyway, he shook up that paint can really good, took it over to his desk, got out his tool, (yes we got to see Stephen's tool), and opened it up. Just as expected, it contained something warm and fuzzy. From tax cuts to warm and fuzzy in just one step. Or as Stephen said, "Prest-o Change-o."
With the November elections coming up in November (coincidence???), Stephen reminded us that he is very concerned about stomping out voter fraud. I wonder if he is aware of the voter fraud problems in Florida. He should be! He said that if even one fraudster shows up at the polls in November, that would tarnish the integrity of an election that the Koch Brothers paid good money for. Stephen did have two voter fraud alerts.
1. Six days before the election, millions of Americans will disguise themselves. That's why we need Photo ID. (Although personally I wonder about that because it's not that hard to get a fake ID and if these people disguise themselves, then wouldn't they need a photo taken while they are in disguise?)
2. A judge in Pennsylvania ruled against the Voter ID law being used for this election. But there is a silver lining, sort of. "Election officials...can ask for photo identification..." but they "...cannot prevent people from voting if they don't have it..."
I guess if you live in Pennsylvania and you don't have an ID, just go vote like you would any other year. Read about voting here, here, and here. And no matter which state you live in, be informed before you go to the polls. Your country is counting on you.
But, on with the show. Stephen's guest was Dr. George Church, Professor of Genetics, Harvard Medical School. He is working on mapping human genomes and Stephen sincerely hopes he isn't using an iPhone 5 to do the mapping. First question - what is the personal genome project? It's sharing genes, traits and environmental data information with the whole world. Stephen suggested an alternate process. The two of them discussed all sorts of sciencey stuff - splicing genes, making replacement petroleum, bringing back the woolly mammoth. Finally, Stephen asked the big question. "How do you think your work will eventually destroy all mankind? Killer virus... mutant killer squid man?"
We did not actually get a definitive answer to that question from Dr. George Church. So, they went on to the next topic, a new book. As usual, it has a very long title. I guess all the short titles have been used up. So, the book is, "Regenesis - How Synthetic Biology Will Reinvent Nature and Ourselves."
Stephen had great questions about the book. "Do we need reinventing? Are you playing God, sir, 'cause you certainly have the beard for it?" And remember how Stephen has been plugging his book on his show when other people plug their book? Well, this guy brought 20 million copies of his book to the interview! He reached into his pocket, took out a small vial and presented Stephen with a piece of paper about the size of a Fortune Cookie fortune. On the paper was a dot. Through the magic of science, that dot had 20 million copies of the book on it.
He told Stephen not to eat it. Stephen did not eat it, but he most certainly was tempted. I can just imagine if the show had been any longer, the audience would have started chanting, "Eat the books. Eat the books. Eat the books."
One of the things I learned was that Romney, who has been promising tax cuts for the rich, was scheduled to come across as warm and fuzzy in the debates according to his campaign. This is great, especially after that secret video came out where Romney said he doesn't care about 47% of Americans. If he can look into the camera, (probably a really big camera , making it easy for Romney to know there is a camera) and say, "I care," then people will believe that and forget the whole 47% fiasco.
Many times we hear pundits talking about our politicians. It's not often that we get to see a visual representation of what these candidates are like. Stephen was able to do that. He had an Etch-A-Sketch with the words "Tax Cuts" etched onto the screen. (By the way, if you don't know what an Etch-A-Sketch is, click here and then be sure to keep hitting refresh.) So, Stephen took that Etch-A-Sketch, put it in a paint can, took it over to his studio paint shaker and shook that can of paint. I have to stop here and wonder if Stephen always has a paint shaker in his studio, or did he bring it from home, or did he borrow it from Home Depot? Just wondering. Anyway, he shook up that paint can really good, took it over to his desk, got out his tool, (yes we got to see Stephen's tool), and opened it up. Just as expected, it contained something warm and fuzzy. From tax cuts to warm and fuzzy in just one step. Or as Stephen said, "Prest-o Change-o."
With the November elections coming up in November (coincidence???), Stephen reminded us that he is very concerned about stomping out voter fraud. I wonder if he is aware of the voter fraud problems in Florida. He should be! He said that if even one fraudster shows up at the polls in November, that would tarnish the integrity of an election that the Koch Brothers paid good money for. Stephen did have two voter fraud alerts.
1. Six days before the election, millions of Americans will disguise themselves. That's why we need Photo ID. (Although personally I wonder about that because it's not that hard to get a fake ID and if these people disguise themselves, then wouldn't they need a photo taken while they are in disguise?)
2. A judge in Pennsylvania ruled against the Voter ID law being used for this election. But there is a silver lining, sort of. "Election officials...can ask for photo identification..." but they "...cannot prevent people from voting if they don't have it..."
I guess if you live in Pennsylvania and you don't have an ID, just go vote like you would any other year. Read about voting here, here, and here. And no matter which state you live in, be informed before you go to the polls. Your country is counting on you.
But, on with the show. Stephen's guest was Dr. George Church, Professor of Genetics, Harvard Medical School. He is working on mapping human genomes and Stephen sincerely hopes he isn't using an iPhone 5 to do the mapping. First question - what is the personal genome project? It's sharing genes, traits and environmental data information with the whole world. Stephen suggested an alternate process. The two of them discussed all sorts of sciencey stuff - splicing genes, making replacement petroleum, bringing back the woolly mammoth. Finally, Stephen asked the big question. "How do you think your work will eventually destroy all mankind? Killer virus... mutant killer squid man?"
We did not actually get a definitive answer to that question from Dr. George Church. So, they went on to the next topic, a new book. As usual, it has a very long title. I guess all the short titles have been used up. So, the book is, "Regenesis - How Synthetic Biology Will Reinvent Nature and Ourselves."
Stephen had great questions about the book. "Do we need reinventing? Are you playing God, sir, 'cause you certainly have the beard for it?" And remember how Stephen has been plugging his book on his show when other people plug their book? Well, this guy brought 20 million copies of his book to the interview! He reached into his pocket, took out a small vial and presented Stephen with a piece of paper about the size of a Fortune Cookie fortune. On the paper was a dot. Through the magic of science, that dot had 20 million copies of the book on it.
He told Stephen not to eat it. Stephen did not eat it, but he most certainly was tempted. I can just imagine if the show had been any longer, the audience would have started chanting, "Eat the books. Eat the books. Eat the books."
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
America Again
Stephen has a new iPhone 5. I'm betting he got it to help ease the pain of losing the Emmy. That's right, to quote him, "I lost the Emmy." Speaking of losing, Mitt Romney was the first topic of the night on the show. Apparently, Ann Romney's plane had to make an emergency landing recently. Mitt Romney was, of course, very concerned about her safety. He also was concerned that windows on airplanes don't open. Hopefully, if elected, he could work on getting laws passed to fix that problem.
The presidential election is always on every one's mind which is probably what prompted Stephen to give a big shout-out to Ronald Reagan and all conservatives. "You know the old saying, the rich get richer... hurray!" He then mentioned fellow conservative Peggy Noonan again, after quoting her at length last week. "It's time to admit the Romney campaign is an incompetent one."
This just in: Peggy made a correction two days later. "...I called it incompetent...I really meant 'rolling calamity.'" Her advice? "...if he is serious, he has to put in place a guiding philosophy..."
What could that guiding philosophy be? I wonder. What could it be? Isn't it too late in the campaign to come up with a guiding philosophy? NO. Stephen Colbert has solved that problem! Over the weekend, he wrote a book. Yep. Yet another book by author Stephen Colbert:
"America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't."
It is already number one (1!) New York Times Bestseller! It is out in bookstores on October 2, which is coming up pretty soon. If you think the lines to get a new iPhone 5 were long, just wait until people start lining up at all the bookstores all across American again. (Did you notice what I just did there? Oh, yeah, quite clever.) I just wish I could read those really tiny words up at the top of the book by the "bestseller" portion. Wouldn't it have to be on sale for it to become a bestseller?
In the Sport Report, Stephen talked about Replacement Referees for the NFL, but it is just too painful, so I am not going to say anything other than everyone seems to want those Union Referees back on the job, even Scott Walker.
Claressa Shields was Stephen's guest. Sometime Shephen is, (how shall I put this???) pushy with his guests, demanding quick answers and making sure they meet his high standards of punditry. Sometimes he treats them more like close friends or colleagues. I just got this feeling that he was wearing kid gloves while interviewing Claressa Shields. Perhaps that's because, even though she is only 17 years old, she is a winner, in fact she is the first woman and only American boxer to win a gold medal at the Olympic Games in London this year. He called her style Razzle Dazzle. He asked if there is crying in boxing. (Yes, there is.) If Claressa and Stephen were perhaps to go a few rounds of boxing, the outcome would probably be that Claressa would hit Stephen and then he would cry.
But enough of that, go out and get in line to buy Stephen's new book!
The presidential election is always on every one's mind which is probably what prompted Stephen to give a big shout-out to Ronald Reagan and all conservatives. "You know the old saying, the rich get richer... hurray!" He then mentioned fellow conservative Peggy Noonan again, after quoting her at length last week. "It's time to admit the Romney campaign is an incompetent one."
This just in: Peggy made a correction two days later. "...I called it incompetent...I really meant 'rolling calamity.'" Her advice? "...if he is serious, he has to put in place a guiding philosophy..."
What could that guiding philosophy be? I wonder. What could it be? Isn't it too late in the campaign to come up with a guiding philosophy? NO. Stephen Colbert has solved that problem! Over the weekend, he wrote a book. Yep. Yet another book by author Stephen Colbert:
"America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't."
It is already number one (1!) New York Times Bestseller! It is out in bookstores on October 2, which is coming up pretty soon. If you think the lines to get a new iPhone 5 were long, just wait until people start lining up at all the bookstores all across American again. (Did you notice what I just did there? Oh, yeah, quite clever.) I just wish I could read those really tiny words up at the top of the book by the "bestseller" portion. Wouldn't it have to be on sale for it to become a bestseller?
In the Sport Report, Stephen talked about Replacement Referees for the NFL, but it is just too painful, so I am not going to say anything other than everyone seems to want those Union Referees back on the job, even Scott Walker.
Claressa Shields was Stephen's guest. Sometime Shephen is, (how shall I put this???) pushy with his guests, demanding quick answers and making sure they meet his high standards of punditry. Sometimes he treats them more like close friends or colleagues. I just got this feeling that he was wearing kid gloves while interviewing Claressa Shields. Perhaps that's because, even though she is only 17 years old, she is a winner, in fact she is the first woman and only American boxer to win a gold medal at the Olympic Games in London this year. He called her style Razzle Dazzle. He asked if there is crying in boxing. (Yes, there is.) If Claressa and Stephen were perhaps to go a few rounds of boxing, the outcome would probably be that Claressa would hit Stephen and then he would cry.
But enough of that, go out and get in line to buy Stephen's new book!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
ong-Wray eggy-Pay
Now we know what would motivate Stephen to become a runner - a throng of people behind him chanting "Stephen. Stephen. Stephen."
In political news, sadly, Stephen disagreed with fellow conservative Peggy Noonan, when she wrote, "It's time to admit the Romney Campaign is an incompetent one."
"WRONG, Peggy!" shouted Stephen. "That time was six months ago." He went on to explain what redistribution means. "You pay taxes into a single federal agency that pools it and redistributes it across the country to build roads and bridges, sometimes in states you don't live in."
It's been too long since we've been treated to The Word, so it was with gladness that I listened to Stephen talk about "Ask Not." What we learned is that Mitt Romney will continue to tell crowds what he won't do, e.g. he won't take God off our coins. Whew - that would take forever. Do you know how many coins are in circulation? Have you ever tried to scratch God off even one penny? It takes a long time. But back to The Word. Once Mitt Romney has told us everything he won't do, we will finally be able to figure out what he will do. I like that because I like puzzles. You know, sort of like having crossword puzzles and word searches for his supporters to figure out what his policies will be.
Guess who just got married! Wait, that's misleading. Guess who we are just finding out may have been married. Stephen's good friend Jesus. Stephen is happy that JC is married, but a little bit sad that his buddy is no longer a carefree single guy who can do whatever he wants. Stephen expects things will change, including whether he goes to church on Sunday or watches the game with JC. You can almost figure out which one Mrs. Christ will insist on.
World class violinist Itzhak Perlman joined Stephen as the guest. Stephen was excited to meet with a fellow "master of his craft." He played on Ed Sullivan when he was 13. He has Grammys, Emmys, has been at Carnegie Hall and Sesame Street. Next week he will perform at the opening gala of New York Philharmonic's 171st season. (And yes, Stephen did a great job of reading from his notes.) Itzhak Perlman apologized to Stephen for the wrong notes, about three, that he has played in his career. Interestingly enough, Itzhak Perlman got his first violin at about age three, threw it away because it didn't sound like the violins he was used to hearing, and then got another at age four and started playing then. So, quite young. Stephen asked when people started realizing his great musical talent. "Oh, about a year ago," was the quick response.
Stephen got a little bit "concerned" about the state of classical music in the world and country today, but Itzhak Perlman calmed his down. After performing on the "The Colbert Report," Stephen said that violins will get the "Colbert Bump." (That's a relief. After turning the Bump off a few days ago, apparently Stephen, or somebody, must have rebooted it.) At first Itzhak Perlman declined to play, but that was just for one or two seconds before he agreed to play for the studio audience and the larger TV and internet audience.
We did get to hear a performance by Itzhak Perlman. It was wonderful. I watched closely to see how it's done. Now I am going to go out and buy a violin and play the same song. It sure looked pretty easy. Only four strings. Just move the bow back and forth over the strings with the right hand while holding down the strings with the left hand. So, piece of cake. Nothing to it. Yeah, right.
In political news, sadly, Stephen disagreed with fellow conservative Peggy Noonan, when she wrote, "It's time to admit the Romney Campaign is an incompetent one."
"WRONG, Peggy!" shouted Stephen. "That time was six months ago." He went on to explain what redistribution means. "You pay taxes into a single federal agency that pools it and redistributes it across the country to build roads and bridges, sometimes in states you don't live in."
It's been too long since we've been treated to The Word, so it was with gladness that I listened to Stephen talk about "Ask Not." What we learned is that Mitt Romney will continue to tell crowds what he won't do, e.g. he won't take God off our coins. Whew - that would take forever. Do you know how many coins are in circulation? Have you ever tried to scratch God off even one penny? It takes a long time. But back to The Word. Once Mitt Romney has told us everything he won't do, we will finally be able to figure out what he will do. I like that because I like puzzles. You know, sort of like having crossword puzzles and word searches for his supporters to figure out what his policies will be.
Guess who just got married! Wait, that's misleading. Guess who we are just finding out may have been married. Stephen's good friend Jesus. Stephen is happy that JC is married, but a little bit sad that his buddy is no longer a carefree single guy who can do whatever he wants. Stephen expects things will change, including whether he goes to church on Sunday or watches the game with JC. You can almost figure out which one Mrs. Christ will insist on.
World class violinist Itzhak Perlman joined Stephen as the guest. Stephen was excited to meet with a fellow "master of his craft." He played on Ed Sullivan when he was 13. He has Grammys, Emmys, has been at Carnegie Hall and Sesame Street. Next week he will perform at the opening gala of New York Philharmonic's 171st season. (And yes, Stephen did a great job of reading from his notes.) Itzhak Perlman apologized to Stephen for the wrong notes, about three, that he has played in his career. Interestingly enough, Itzhak Perlman got his first violin at about age three, threw it away because it didn't sound like the violins he was used to hearing, and then got another at age four and started playing then. So, quite young. Stephen asked when people started realizing his great musical talent. "Oh, about a year ago," was the quick response.
Stephen got a little bit "concerned" about the state of classical music in the world and country today, but Itzhak Perlman calmed his down. After performing on the "The Colbert Report," Stephen said that violins will get the "Colbert Bump." (That's a relief. After turning the Bump off a few days ago, apparently Stephen, or somebody, must have rebooted it.) At first Itzhak Perlman declined to play, but that was just for one or two seconds before he agreed to play for the studio audience and the larger TV and internet audience.
We did get to hear a performance by Itzhak Perlman. It was wonderful. I watched closely to see how it's done. Now I am going to go out and buy a violin and play the same song. It sure looked pretty easy. Only four strings. Just move the bow back and forth over the strings with the right hand while holding down the strings with the left hand. So, piece of cake. Nothing to it. Yeah, right.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
I Call Topsies
USA Today has a new logo - it's round and blue, but they're going to keep changing it all the time while still keeping it sort of roundish. Has anyone noticed the Comedy Central logo? No one made a big hoopla when that changed. Or at least I don't think Stephen did and that's all that matters. It used to be some tall buildings on a planet with the words Comedy Central. Now it's just a "c" inside a backwards "c". A good logo and also roundish.
Moving on. Mitt Romney was getting a whole lot of criticism about his comments on Libya. Well, no one's talking about that anymore. The campaign has realized it is not where it needs to be and so some refocusing,... rebooting, ... resetting... is going to happen. And, then a videotape shows up.
Back in May, "Romney was the main attraction at $50,000-a-plate... dinner at the home of private equity manager Marc Leder..."
Marc Leder is best known for throwing some wild parties including one where (I have omitted some of the words since this is a family-friendly blog):
"guests ...... in a pool ..... while ....... danced ......." You can read more about the dinner and what Mitt Romney said about 47% of Americans and about that party over at Huffington Post here.
Stephen Colbert said what we are all thinking. "Thank you. Finally, a candidate with the courage to say half of all Americans are freeloaders who believe they're entitled to food. What do they think? Food grows on trees? No. We job creators know that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Lunch is $50,000 a plate."
And just who are these lazy free loaders? They include the elderly, children and the working poor. And U.S. military personnel deployed to war zones who are exempt from paying federal taxes on their combat pay. (From Los Angeles Times and TheGrio.)
Mitt Romney then held a press conference to explain what he said and Stephen took time out of his show to explain Mitt's explanation. Basically, calling half of America mindless moochers wasn't said eloquently. Stephen saved the day for Mitt by showing us how it should be done. (Apologies to my readers if Stephen's choice of words seem explicit. I'm sure everyone is invited to the after-party, not just attractive Russian women.)
Tip Hat Wag Finger - Sorry about shortening that, but I am running out of time and did not want to take the time to type out the complete name for this segment. A jury has awarded Apple $1 Billion in a Samsung Patent Case. Stephen had an excellent breakdown of phones and geometric shapes. It all boils down to rectangles with round corners. - You know - roundish.
Who wore it best? There is way too much time and space devoted to that subject. Especially when two magazines feature the same two women wearing the same dress and the magazines come to the exact opposite conclusion. Stephen had photos that showed two people in same red dress and neither one looked that great to me.
Jeffrey Toobin was Stephen's guest which was special because it was his 6th time on the show. Jeffrey knows a lot about the Supreme Court. In fact, he knows so much that he revealed that Justice Clarence Thomas still hasn't said anything. Toobin's latest book is "The Oath: The Obama White House and the Supreme Court." First off, I have to say that the two men, Colbert and Toobin, disagreed on whether or not it is okay to change your mind. (I'd like to see the Supreme Court decide that!) Stephen asked what mercurial means. That was an eye-opener to me. I thought it was a mermaid who was curious. I think I need to buy a dictionary. And secondly, Stephen was concerned about which way a ruling would go. Sadly, that will not even be decided in this country. It will be decided in France. Sorry, Stephen. Better luck next time.
Moving on. Mitt Romney was getting a whole lot of criticism about his comments on Libya. Well, no one's talking about that anymore. The campaign has realized it is not where it needs to be and so some refocusing,... rebooting, ... resetting... is going to happen. And, then a videotape shows up.
Back in May, "Romney was the main attraction at $50,000-a-plate... dinner at the home of private equity manager Marc Leder..."
Marc Leder is best known for throwing some wild parties including one where (I have omitted some of the words since this is a family-friendly blog):
"guests ...... in a pool ..... while ....... danced ......." You can read more about the dinner and what Mitt Romney said about 47% of Americans and about that party over at Huffington Post here.
Stephen Colbert said what we are all thinking. "Thank you. Finally, a candidate with the courage to say half of all Americans are freeloaders who believe they're entitled to food. What do they think? Food grows on trees? No. We job creators know that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Lunch is $50,000 a plate."
And just who are these lazy free loaders? They include the elderly, children and the working poor. And U.S. military personnel deployed to war zones who are exempt from paying federal taxes on their combat pay. (From Los Angeles Times and TheGrio.)
Mitt Romney then held a press conference to explain what he said and Stephen took time out of his show to explain Mitt's explanation. Basically, calling half of America mindless moochers wasn't said eloquently. Stephen saved the day for Mitt by showing us how it should be done. (Apologies to my readers if Stephen's choice of words seem explicit. I'm sure everyone is invited to the after-party, not just attractive Russian women.)
Tip Hat Wag Finger - Sorry about shortening that, but I am running out of time and did not want to take the time to type out the complete name for this segment. A jury has awarded Apple $1 Billion in a Samsung Patent Case. Stephen had an excellent breakdown of phones and geometric shapes. It all boils down to rectangles with round corners. - You know - roundish.
Who wore it best? There is way too much time and space devoted to that subject. Especially when two magazines feature the same two women wearing the same dress and the magazines come to the exact opposite conclusion. Stephen had photos that showed two people in same red dress and neither one looked that great to me.
Jeffrey Toobin was Stephen's guest which was special because it was his 6th time on the show. Jeffrey knows a lot about the Supreme Court. In fact, he knows so much that he revealed that Justice Clarence Thomas still hasn't said anything. Toobin's latest book is "The Oath: The Obama White House and the Supreme Court." First off, I have to say that the two men, Colbert and Toobin, disagreed on whether or not it is okay to change your mind. (I'd like to see the Supreme Court decide that!) Stephen asked what mercurial means. That was an eye-opener to me. I thought it was a mermaid who was curious. I think I need to buy a dictionary. And secondly, Stephen was concerned about which way a ruling would go. Sadly, that will not even be decided in this country. It will be decided in France. Sorry, Stephen. Better luck next time.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Shalom, How Have You Wronged Me?
As usual, lots happened while Stephen was gone last week. Some of it not so good. Stephen talked about the death of Christopher Stevens and passed along his condolences.
Mitt Romney criticized President Obama over comments that he said the President made. President Obama did not make those comments at all. Because of that, many conservatives are now criticizing Mitt Romney. Probably because he spoke before he knew what was going on.
Stephen felt the need to explain to Muslims watching the show that here in American, the Constitution gives us freedom of speech and therefore, we can't stop people from making movies that are stupid.
Even as all that was happening, what with the apologies, and the non-apologies (Stephen mentioned Mitt Romney's book "No Apology"), Stephen started talking about Rosh Hashanah. (Or Rosh Hashashananh or something like that. He kind of mangled it.) That's right, it's Rosh Hashanah again. My how time flies. What that means is that it is time for Stephen's Atone Phone Hotline.
Dial 1-888-667-7539, then press 2. That is the hotline for Oops Jew. Be sure to press 2 and not some other number or you will get someone, but not Stephen. Here's the other hotlines you get if you press a different extension after dialing Oops Jew.
1 = Mops Key
3 = Moss Lew
4 = Mos Plex
5 = Nors Lez
6 = O Mrs Lex
So dial carefully. And speaking of dialing carefully, the Atone Phone started ringing. Surprisingly, it was Ira Glass, yes, that Ira Glass. He gave a quick apology to Stephen for not having him on his radio show, This American Life, and then shamelessly plugged his movie, "Sleepwalk With Me." I think we can plan on hearing from Ira Glass next year during Rosh Hashanah when he again calls the Atone Phone Hotline and apologizes for shamelessly plugging his movie, "Sleepwalk With Me."
Stephen's guest was Drew Gilpin Faust, president of Harvard University and author of "This Republic of Suffering: Death and the American Civil War." She told Stephen, "It's never dumb to get an education." He accused her of being prejudiced against dumb people, but then went on to other topics. Her book has been made into a documentary by Ric Burns - no relation to Ken Burns, no wait, they're brothers!
You know how sometimes Stephen seemingly monopolizes the conversation and other times he lets his guest do a lot of the talking? Yeah, well this was one of the nights when he let his guest do a lot of the talking. Good for him.
Mitt Romney criticized President Obama over comments that he said the President made. President Obama did not make those comments at all. Because of that, many conservatives are now criticizing Mitt Romney. Probably because he spoke before he knew what was going on.
Stephen felt the need to explain to Muslims watching the show that here in American, the Constitution gives us freedom of speech and therefore, we can't stop people from making movies that are stupid.
Even as all that was happening, what with the apologies, and the non-apologies (Stephen mentioned Mitt Romney's book "No Apology"), Stephen started talking about Rosh Hashanah. (Or Rosh Hashashananh or something like that. He kind of mangled it.) That's right, it's Rosh Hashanah again. My how time flies. What that means is that it is time for Stephen's Atone Phone Hotline.
Dial 1-888-667-7539, then press 2. That is the hotline for Oops Jew. Be sure to press 2 and not some other number or you will get someone, but not Stephen. Here's the other hotlines you get if you press a different extension after dialing Oops Jew.
1 = Mops Key
3 = Moss Lew
4 = Mos Plex
5 = Nors Lez
6 = O Mrs Lex
So dial carefully. And speaking of dialing carefully, the Atone Phone started ringing. Surprisingly, it was Ira Glass, yes, that Ira Glass. He gave a quick apology to Stephen for not having him on his radio show, This American Life, and then shamelessly plugged his movie, "Sleepwalk With Me." I think we can plan on hearing from Ira Glass next year during Rosh Hashanah when he again calls the Atone Phone Hotline and apologizes for shamelessly plugging his movie, "Sleepwalk With Me."
Stephen's guest was Drew Gilpin Faust, president of Harvard University and author of "This Republic of Suffering: Death and the American Civil War." She told Stephen, "It's never dumb to get an education." He accused her of being prejudiced against dumb people, but then went on to other topics. Her book has been made into a documentary by Ric Burns - no relation to Ken Burns, no wait, they're brothers!
You know how sometimes Stephen seemingly monopolizes the conversation and other times he lets his guest do a lot of the talking? Yeah, well this was one of the nights when he let his guest do a lot of the talking. Good for him.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Four More Pegs Before We Sink
Well, now I just feel foolish. I had assumed the USS Intrepid would be on The Colbert Report. Apparently, The Colbert Report was on the USS Intrepid. I really misunderstood that whole situation. I will have to pay closer attention to what Stephen says from now on.
So, Stephen dressed up in his finest Admiral uniform for the Stephest Colbchella '012 Rocktaugustfest aboard the USS Intrepid on the Hudson River in New York and enjoyed a refreshing sip from his excited bottle of Pepsi. His second in command was there, Grandmaster Flash and what looked like a deck full of eager young fans. Wouldn't you just know it. As soon as the fun started, Jon Stewart interrupted so that he and Stephen could continue with their game of Battleship. Jon scored a hit on Stephen which is a little bit disconcerting if you are on the actual battleship at the time.
Surprising to me and maybe everyone else was the fact that Stephen at the helm waved up at Stephen on the bridge. How can he be in two places at once? And yet, there he was, up on the bridge, which was made up to be an exact replica of The Colbert Report studio.
Mitt Romney made an important announcement on Saturday morning. It looked like he was on the USS Intrepid, but, probably just another boat. Anyway, he announced that Paul Ryan would be the next president of the United States. This was a great relief to Stephen. He could relax knowing all the hoopla about Mitt Romney for President was just that, hoopla. Drat. It was a mistake by Romney. He meant to announce that Paul Ryan would be the next Vice President of the United States. Oh, well. At least it was a bold choice of another white, Christian, male candidate.
The guest tonight was Fun. I know what you are thinking, every guest is fun. But tonight, it was Fun. not fun! Either you know or you don't. Stephen ran all through the ship to get to them. Eventually he caught up to the three guys on a bunk bed. Tired by all his running, Stephen reclined in the bottom bunk and conducted the interview from there.
Sometimes interview questions are boring, but not so with Fun. Stephen asked great questions. And then he asked more questions. After a quick commercial break, more fun with Fun. They performed "Some Nights" for the whole shipload of fans.
For bonus songs go to Colbert Nation. Some lucky fans were in the right place at the right time and got to see just what a T Mobile "good-night" looks like.
So, Stephen dressed up in his finest Admiral uniform for the Stephest Colbchella '012 Rocktaugustfest aboard the USS Intrepid on the Hudson River in New York and enjoyed a refreshing sip from his excited bottle of Pepsi. His second in command was there, Grandmaster Flash and what looked like a deck full of eager young fans. Wouldn't you just know it. As soon as the fun started, Jon Stewart interrupted so that he and Stephen could continue with their game of Battleship. Jon scored a hit on Stephen which is a little bit disconcerting if you are on the actual battleship at the time.
Surprising to me and maybe everyone else was the fact that Stephen at the helm waved up at Stephen on the bridge. How can he be in two places at once? And yet, there he was, up on the bridge, which was made up to be an exact replica of The Colbert Report studio.
Mitt Romney made an important announcement on Saturday morning. It looked like he was on the USS Intrepid, but, probably just another boat. Anyway, he announced that Paul Ryan would be the next president of the United States. This was a great relief to Stephen. He could relax knowing all the hoopla about Mitt Romney for President was just that, hoopla. Drat. It was a mistake by Romney. He meant to announce that Paul Ryan would be the next Vice President of the United States. Oh, well. At least it was a bold choice of another white, Christian, male candidate.
The guest tonight was Fun. I know what you are thinking, every guest is fun. But tonight, it was Fun. not fun! Either you know or you don't. Stephen ran all through the ship to get to them. Eventually he caught up to the three guys on a bunk bed. Tired by all his running, Stephen reclined in the bottom bunk and conducted the interview from there.
Sometimes interview questions are boring, but not so with Fun. Stephen asked great questions. And then he asked more questions. After a quick commercial break, more fun with Fun. They performed "Some Nights" for the whole shipload of fans.
For bonus songs go to Colbert Nation. Some lucky fans were in the right place at the right time and got to see just what a T Mobile "good-night" looks like.
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