John McCain, Michele Bachmann, and Baloney

Senator John McCain took to the Senate Floor recently and talked about the character, reputation and patriotism of one person and how it relates to the very soul of America. Politico posted a clip of parts of the speech by Senator John McCain defending Huma Abedin.

I'm Doing It

"Nation, I have a major announcement to make. For over a day now the people of South Carolina have been crying out for someone who can restore our Nation's greatness to its current perfection. Well, America, that someone is now. I am proud to announce that I am forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for my possible candidacy for the President of the United States of South Carolina.

"I'M DOING IT! AND WITH YOUR HELP AND POSSIBLY THE HELP OF SOME SORT OF OUTSIDE GROUP THAT I AM NOT COORDINATING WITH, WE CAN EXPLORE TAKING THIS COUNTRY BACK. THANK YOU. GOD BESS YOU ALL. AND GOD BLESS CITIZENS UNITED."

Balloons all over and the audience went crazy.

Stephen promised a major decision tonight and he did not disappoint.

But first I should tell you what went on at the beginning of the show, before this major decision. After showing a webcam video of himself exercising and pointing out his stylish gold curlicue toe slippers, Stephen talked about the various Super PACs that candidates have. No, wait - that's wrong. What I mean to say is that candidates do not have Super PACs. That would be illegal. He talked about the Super PACs that support, but do not coordinate with, the candidates.

Mitt Romney benefits from Restore Our Future which was started by Romney's lawyer, Charles R. Spies.

Newt Gingrich benefits from Winning Our Future which is run by Newt's former staffer Becky Burkett.

Rick Perry (Parry) benefits from Make us Great Again started by Mike Toomey, who once was Governor Perry's (Parry') chief of staff AND co-owner of a resort island with Dave Carney, chief strategist for the Perry (Parry) campaign.

So, that brought about a difficult decision for Stephen. He was joined by friend of the show, Trevor Potter. All he wanted was a simple answer to this question: "Can I run for president and keep my Super PAC?"

"No." There you have it, a simple answer from Trevor Potter for Stephen.

If you did not see the show tonight, you may want to head over to Colbert Nation tomorrow and watch it. It is fascinating because of all the ins and outs of the legal system as it pertains to election law. Plus there seemed to be some magic that happened.

Long story short, Jon Stewart will be taking over as head of the Colbert Super PAC, he will still get to retain all the staff currently working for the PAC, and the Super PAC can now, legally, run ads for Stephen and attacking potential opponents.

All they need to do is to make sure that Jon (and staff) doesn't coordinate with Stephen.

For fans of crossword puzzles, there was a segment about Will Shortz. Stephen was a clue in the New York Times crossword puzzle back in October of 2010, so he most likely has a warm spot in his heart for crossword puzzles.

Tonight's guest was Mike Allen of Politico which was quite appropriate for such an important show. Even as the two men were shaking hands, Mike told Stephen that Politico had a story about Stephen's candidacy already posted on Politico. That is so impressive. It's like they just wait for news to happen and then write about it right away!

Mike Allen recently wrote the eBook, "The Right Fights Back," which is available for $2.99.

Colbert Bump for Salvatore Purpura?

I Googled Salvatore Purpura last night while Stephen was talking about him on The Colbert Report. I wish I would have paid closer attention because I think there were only about 70 or so hits on Google for Purpura. I'm not 100% positive, but there weren't many hits for Purpura. Today there are about 4,690. The only thing thing that has changed in the last 24 hours is that Stephen talked about Salvatore on his show. And yes, Stephen did mention that Politico had scooped him.

But still, I think Stephen did give Salvatore Purpura the Colbert Bump. And all Purpura had to do to get the Colbert Bump was to quit working for Stephen.

Clap For Me, My Monkeys

Remember when Stephen told us that Herman Cain would be on Thursday's episode of The Colbert Report? That's right, this coming Thursday, July 28, pizza maker and presidential hopeful Herman Cain ..... actually won't be on because he has canceled.

Ouch. Not exactly a good plan if you are tyring to get The Colbert Bump. There's a "scheduling conflict." I hope that isn't a case of finding a better prom date or something like that. Take it from me, that always backfires.

Politico has the story here about Herman Cain backing out. But it wasn't very long ago at all that it was going to be a big deal. Read the hype over at Comedy Central's Indecision (unless of course they change it since it's no longer true).

And so, you heard it here first. Well not first, since Stephen said it tonight on The Colbert Report, so then, okay, you heard it here second. From Stephen Colbert's mouth to our ears, "Herman Cain might not be the next president of the United States."

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Moving on. I never quite know what to call the people who come on the show and sit at the desk with Stephen before the actual guest is interviewed over at the table. Would it be a mini-guest or a pre-guest? Whatever you call those people, another one was on tonight.

Peter Edelman helped Stephen sort through the struggles that people in poverty face. Did you know that lots of poor people have refrigerators? It was an interesting discussion, perhaps you should watch that episode when it is rerun or else catch it over at Colbert Nation.

Interesting reading at that Wikipedia entry about Peter Edelman. The link is right there at the beginning of the previous paragraph. I'll wait while you read that. Okay, you're back. Peter Edelman is married to Marian Wright Edelman, president and founder of the Children's Defense Fund.

I've always thought it was strange that CDF says "Leave No Child Behind" while George W. Bush used "No Child Left Behind" to give school children the opportunity to take lots more standardized tests. Apparently it is no a coincidence. From Wikipedia article on CDF:

"The principal public policy initiative is summarized by CDF's advocacy of the "Dodd-Miller Act to Leave no child Behind (S. 448 / H.R. 936) " bill, introduced in Congress in 2001. This differs only slightly from the No Child Left Behind Act. (George W. Bush used this phrase, trademarked by the CDF, in his Presidential campaign despite objections from CDF.)"

Anyway, interesting how a guest talking about poverty can lead to reading about other topics and people.

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Moving on yet again.

Stephen's real guest tonight was Brooke Gladstone from npr. They discussed Gladstone's book, "The Influencing Machine" which is sort of like a comic book or a graphic novel, except that I don't think it's a novel. You can see a little bit of it here.

While some might think that the media influences us, she says that it's a mirror. Wow. Wait a minute. Stephen claimed that he is of the media and that he has control. To prove it, he turned and said, "Clap for me, my Monkeys."

And the audience applauded wildly.