Bucket List

I have been glued to the TV, the newspapers and magazines, waiting to see if the people who brought mayhem to the Boston Marathon have been captured. Luckily, now, that seems to have been accomplished. And it's a good thing because two unlucky guys have their photos on the front cover of the New York Post. Both have bags of some sort and one of them is wearing a baseball cap. So that pretty much is all anyone needs for a description. Except that it ain't the guys. They did nothing wrong other than having a backpack or other bag and wearing a baseball cap. Perhaps more will come of this. Time will tell.

Stephen did give a Tip of the Hat to New York Post for accusing the two innocent men of a horrible crime. He mentioned that the New York Post follows those famous Four W's we all know for writing a good news story: "Who, Whatever, and Why Wait?"

If you have never been to New York City and would love to go there but need a reliable source of information, there's only been one place, so far, to get good information about the tourist havens to seek out for a good time. That one place has been Stefon. But now, Stephen has the scoop on where to go and what to do in New York City. Of course, since he is so famous, he can't really just walk around the streets of the city. Everyone would want a piece of him.

Luckily, technology is able to let Stephen walk around New York City at the same time as Stephen is sitting on the couch in his studio office. I know. That sounds impossible. But it's not. Here's how it works. Stephen puts the Ask-o-Matic on Jay the Intern and sends him out to walk the streets of New York City. Meanwhile, Stephen has a Second Bucket with an iPhone. Everyone, including red and blue furry people loved him. It allowed Stephen to steal a magazine with no consequences, talk with all the locals, eat Egyptian food, fight with Bernard when Bernard is not playing his saxophone, get a caricature drawn of himself, and visit other cultural icons of the city and participate in those cultural activities. We even got to see New Yorkers join in a wonderful song and dance number of New York New York. I might also mention that the footwear worn by New Yorkers is quite colorful. Just when I think The Colbert Report can't get any better, it surpasses all my expectations.

Stephen's guest last Thursday was Richard Engel. One might say that his job is even more difficult than Stephen's job. They both are in broadcasting, but Richard Engel is out in the field and that tends to have more challenges and even dangerous situations.

My Beak is on Fire, My Beak is on Fire!

Stephen welcomed his Thursday audience (the best), shared Lindsey Graham's strategy for getting more votes, and promoted his new line of Formula 401, Seeds of Discontent. The big highlight of the opening sequence was an appearance by Stephen's colleague Esteban Colberto, prompted no doubt by appearances on Univision by Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. We found out how effective self-deportation can be, as evidenced by the self-deportation of many conservatives from support of Mitt Romney.

Esteban always looks so suave and debonair. Stephen and Esteban had a deep discussion about Latino support, or lack of support, for Mitt Romney. We then found out that Esteban has a certain weakness for Rachel Maddow. Esteban found out from Stephen that Rachel Maddow is a .... liberal. And Stephen found out that Esteban thinks he can changer her. 

Moving easily from Mexico to Spain, we learned about Cecilia Gimenez. I guess you could call her  Spain's Grandma Moses. She restored an old fresco of Jesus. We know who it is because every time Stephen sees the newly restored portrait, he says, "Jesus!" It is so popular, fans are being turned away. It is so marvelous, Stephen became absolutely giddy on the show. For her wonderful work, Stephen makes her his Alpha Dog of the Week. We can only hope she gets the praise and rewards she deserves.

Errol Morris, documentarian and author of "A Wilderness of Error - the Trial of Jeffery MacDonald," was Stephen's guest. The first thing the two men had to do was to try to come to an agreement of what "guilty" and "allegedly guilty" mean. Next word for them to come to terms with was "evidence." Stephen was able to point out the fallacy of believing in evidence.

Interrotron versus the iPad was the last thing they had to sort out. Both men had their own version of a machine to better interview people. Stephen plans on wearing his Ask-o-Matic to bars. He should fit right in.