It was only last Thursday that Stephen invited the Colbert Nation to text Colbert to 50555 in order to send $10 to Convoy of Hope to help victims of Typhoon Haiyan. By Monday, they had donated $245,590 which is roughly a quarter of a million dollars!
There have been comparisons between the response by George Bush to Katrina and Barack Obama to Obamacare. There have also been comparisons between Michele Bachmann and geniuses. Stephen had some examples. Here's a few more. You can compare two different things, but that doesn't mean they are similar. I think Stephen said that a hat looks nice on Chuck Todd. I'll double-check that and get back to you.
Alpha Dog exposed lululemon creator Chip Wilson. I would like to see Chip in yoga pants. That would settle this controversy once and for all. Maybe....
The guest on Monday was Steve McQueen, director of "12 Years a Slave."
Showing posts with label Michele Bachmann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michele Bachmann. Show all posts
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Breaking Gov - Getting Paid
"We're very excited. It's exactly what we wanted and we got it." Stephen is excited about the upcoming government shutdown, but that's not who that quote is from. It's from friend of the show, Michele Bachmann (R-MN). All day long I have been watching the news and it shows that if you are true to your ideals, and work non-stop towards them, you can accomplish anything. And that is what the Republicans have been working for since, well, since President Obama was elected. To shut down our government. Way to go, Patriots! So lots of folks won't go to their government jobs. And things like museums and parks will be closed. I wonder if Yosemite will close. I see over at Google that it's the 123rd Anniversary of Yosemite!
And of course, with museums and parks closed, there won't be the tourist trade at nearby shops, motels, restaurants, etc. Here's one funny thing about the shutdown. You're going to laugh at this. Although various government workers will come up short as far as being able to work or being able to be paid or get certain government services, (get ready to start laughing) Members of Congress still Get Paid if there is a Shutdown.
I wonder what it would be like if Oprah had run her show like this way back when all the audience members got a new car. It might have been more like this: "I get a new car and I get a new car, and I get a new car. I - get - all - the - new - cars!!!
Did I mention that Members of Congress Get Paid even if there is a Shutdown?
Stephen had video of the negotiations in Washington and it was looking better than I would have imagined.
Tip/Wag: Finally men will be answering that phone when you call the Butterball Turkey Line. There was an interesting piece in the New York Times about Losers. What we get out of that is that Stephen thinks Ashley Merryman is a loser. And he wonders why all this hoopla right now about trophies just after Stephen won two Emmys.
Holy Water is not as clean as one might expect. Don't drink that water!!!
Vince Gilligan was on the show to be interviewed. The two had a lengthy interview. He wrote Breaking Bad and (spoiler alert) that show has ended. Stephen thinks it could go on for at least a little more time. If you are a regular watcher of Breaking Bad, you will know what they talked about. If you are not, then you will be lost in this interview. So, it really makes no sense for me to try to inform those who know more than I do. Or to try to inform the clueless.
All I will say is that there is a slim possibility that there may be more episodes of Breaking Bad. You just have to find the right motivation for some people. Stephen hit upon just the right motivation for Vince Gilligan.
And of course, with museums and parks closed, there won't be the tourist trade at nearby shops, motels, restaurants, etc. Here's one funny thing about the shutdown. You're going to laugh at this. Although various government workers will come up short as far as being able to work or being able to be paid or get certain government services, (get ready to start laughing) Members of Congress still Get Paid if there is a Shutdown.
I wonder what it would be like if Oprah had run her show like this way back when all the audience members got a new car. It might have been more like this: "I get a new car and I get a new car, and I get a new car. I - get - all - the - new - cars!!!
Did I mention that Members of Congress Get Paid even if there is a Shutdown?
Stephen had video of the negotiations in Washington and it was looking better than I would have imagined.
Tip/Wag: Finally men will be answering that phone when you call the Butterball Turkey Line. There was an interesting piece in the New York Times about Losers. What we get out of that is that Stephen thinks Ashley Merryman is a loser. And he wonders why all this hoopla right now about trophies just after Stephen won two Emmys.
Holy Water is not as clean as one might expect. Don't drink that water!!!
Vince Gilligan was on the show to be interviewed. The two had a lengthy interview. He wrote Breaking Bad and (spoiler alert) that show has ended. Stephen thinks it could go on for at least a little more time. If you are a regular watcher of Breaking Bad, you will know what they talked about. If you are not, then you will be lost in this interview. So, it really makes no sense for me to try to inform those who know more than I do. Or to try to inform the clueless.
All I will say is that there is a slim possibility that there may be more episodes of Breaking Bad. You just have to find the right motivation for some people. Stephen hit upon just the right motivation for Vince Gilligan.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
You're Here, You're Clear
Now I'm home and Stephen is on a two week break. That's okay, it gives me a chance to get caught up. Too bad I wasn't paying more attention when I was over in Moscow. It seems that Edward Snowden was or is at the Moscow airport. It would have been great to get a few photos of him, maybe get an interview that I could post here. I guess the airport is just too big and it's hard to keep track of everyone who is there.
Anyway, Stephen was concerned about the whereabouts of Edward Snowden and just a bit confused about what he looks like. For a short time, he was ready to believe that Jay the Intern was in reality Edward the Snowden (i.e. a white guy with glasses). Until Jay the Intern pointed out to Stephen that first of all, "No, I'm Jay," and secondly that he (Stephen) was also a white guy with glasses. Quick thinking, Jay.
In news that's happening, the Tea Party is unhappy. I should clarify since no one seems to know exactly what or who the Tea Party is. A bunch of people showed up to vent anger, and considering the amount of hot dogs and beans being eaten, to vent a lot of other stuff. They are mad at the IRS. Luckily, Michele Bachmann was there to tell them, "You're Here. And you're Clear. With your message." Stephen added that "if you happen to be queer my husband runs a camp that can cure you with Jesus."
Darrell Issa, apparently one of the richest Congressmen as evidenced by all the extra letters in his name, is one of the people heading the charge for the Tea Party. He investigations showed that, "Certain things are true." Elijah Cummings released all pertinent information which is not what Darrell Issa wanted done. He only wanted the truth, but then Elijah Cummings had to go and release the whole truth. Darn. That showed that it was a conservative Republican at the IRS looking into the Tea Party.
Stephen, as you all know, invented truthiness. Now, with the help of a human centipede, he has invented truthinews. Simply put, the media ask the vast audience out there in TV Land or Radio Land or Internet Land what they think they know, then the media reports it back to them. It's great. For example, Bill O'Reilly has found out that 75% of the people who believe it's a good idea to watch his show, believe what he tells them. I can't help but think that number should be higher. Why would you watch the Factor if you thought it didn't have the appropriate amount of truthiness? For the comedic relief???
Andrew Solomon was the guest on Stephen's show way back on, when was that (?), June 24. Both Stephen and Andrew paid attention to the calendar and dressed appropriately for "Light Blue Shirt Yellow Tie Day." They discussed Andrew Solomon's newest book, "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity." And I know I say this about a lot of books, but this one really does seem very interesting. So, yes, go out and buy it. It's not Tek Jansen, but I think you will find it a good read just the same.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Guy With a Dead Crow on His Head
Tuesday night we saw the Best Episode Ever on The Colbert Report. Oh, yeah, I know I've said that before. I guess it's because Stephen just gets better and better with age. Not that he's old, I didn't say that.
So anyway, he was sad, had a heavy heart because the Congresswoman from Minnesota's Valley of the Dolls, Michele Bachmann, announced she was not going to seek a 5th term in Congress. (Finally, I reported on something before Stephen did. yes!)
I wondered if she had filmed the video in Stephen's studio while he was gone, but no, Stephen said it was in a Sears Portrait Studio.
I did not know how Stephen would react to the resignation of one of the giants in the Conservative Movement. Perhaps resignation is not the right word since she will continue in Congress until her current term is up. We can all take solace in her drive and ambition to continue with her strong focus.
"I will continue to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against what Most in The Other Party want to do to transform our country into becoming."
And Stephen agreed with her. "Yes. We must fight those Most before our country is transformed into becoming," he said. "Stupid Most." Well, duh. Who doesn't agree with that?
In a touching tribute to Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Stephen looked fondly back on some of her Very Moments.
* Michele Bachmann and Marcus Bachmann dancing. She does like the twirling. And Marcus does love to twirl.
* "Planned Parenthood is a billion dollar a year entity. They want to become the Lens Crafter of Big Abortion."
* "It's a very sad life. It's Part of Satan, I think, to say that this is 'Gay'. It's anything but 'Gay' ... It leads to the personal enslavement of individuals because if you are involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it's bondage."
* "The very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States."
* "There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."
* "There isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas."
* "Our founders though taxation without representation was bad. What would they think of representation with taxation?"
* "I got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em. We got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em? We, we didn't know, we didn't know if you liked chocolate or vanilla."
She will be missed and Stephen kindly sent her two cupcakes. There was some confusion as to whether or not she got them.
Tip/Wag
Stephen knows it all. He had thought he might like some Google Glass, but unfortunately, some enhancements will not be available on the Google Glass. So, a Wag of his Finger to Google. He had more thoughts about this subject.
He also gave a Wag to The Lone Ranger, the current reboot. Back in the old days, you just didn't mess with a guy neatly dressed wearing a neck-kerchief. The Lone Ranger does not ever say his trademark Hi Ho Silver in this movie. And the Lone Ranger is not even the main character in The Lone Ranger.
Stephen did give a Tip of his Hat to 3-D Printed food. Yep, no longer to you have to have pizza delivered, you can print it on your own 3-D printer. Yum. There were some pros and some cons about this plan.
In a huge win for some guy with rhythm that we don't know, Stephen gave the famous The Colbert Bump to one of the famous IRS Dancers. Other guys just got a little air time for their troubles with the IRS. The beef Stephen has with the IRS is not that they dance or not that they only work one day a year on April 15. No, it's that they are not as efficient as they could be. It is a simple matter to work while you are dancing and Stephen did so to prove it. He is so light on his feet. If one of his guests ever failed to show up for an interview, I just know the studio audience and TV audience would be mesmerized by a segment of Stephen dancing. Move over Fred Astaire.
Stephen's guest last night was Academy Award-winning director, Alex Gibney. His new film is "We Steal Secrets - The Story of WikiLeaks." (Better send Jay the Intern into the Green Room to make sure no one stole the snacks and beverages.) Although on the one hand, Stephen was interested in what Alex Gibney had to say, on the other hand, he didn't want to hear any sensitive state secrets. I'm reluctant to report more on the interview because I feel like I would be giving away secrets of the interview.
So anyway, he was sad, had a heavy heart because the Congresswoman from Minnesota's Valley of the Dolls, Michele Bachmann, announced she was not going to seek a 5th term in Congress. (Finally, I reported on something before Stephen did. yes!)
I wondered if she had filmed the video in Stephen's studio while he was gone, but no, Stephen said it was in a Sears Portrait Studio.
I did not know how Stephen would react to the resignation of one of the giants in the Conservative Movement. Perhaps resignation is not the right word since she will continue in Congress until her current term is up. We can all take solace in her drive and ambition to continue with her strong focus.
"I will continue to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against what Most in The Other Party want to do to transform our country into becoming."
And Stephen agreed with her. "Yes. We must fight those Most before our country is transformed into becoming," he said. "Stupid Most." Well, duh. Who doesn't agree with that?
In a touching tribute to Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, Stephen looked fondly back on some of her Very Moments.
* Michele Bachmann and Marcus Bachmann dancing. She does like the twirling. And Marcus does love to twirl.
* "Planned Parenthood is a billion dollar a year entity. They want to become the Lens Crafter of Big Abortion."
* "It's a very sad life. It's Part of Satan, I think, to say that this is 'Gay'. It's anything but 'Gay' ... It leads to the personal enslavement of individuals because if you are involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it's bondage."
* "The very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States."
* "There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."
* "There isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas."
* "Our founders though taxation without representation was bad. What would they think of representation with taxation?"
* "I got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em. We got two cupcakes for you. Did you get 'em? We, we didn't know, we didn't know if you liked chocolate or vanilla."
She will be missed and Stephen kindly sent her two cupcakes. There was some confusion as to whether or not she got them.
Tip/Wag
Stephen knows it all. He had thought he might like some Google Glass, but unfortunately, some enhancements will not be available on the Google Glass. So, a Wag of his Finger to Google. He had more thoughts about this subject.
He also gave a Wag to The Lone Ranger, the current reboot. Back in the old days, you just didn't mess with a guy neatly dressed wearing a neck-kerchief. The Lone Ranger does not ever say his trademark Hi Ho Silver in this movie. And the Lone Ranger is not even the main character in The Lone Ranger.
Stephen did give a Tip of his Hat to 3-D Printed food. Yep, no longer to you have to have pizza delivered, you can print it on your own 3-D printer. Yum. There were some pros and some cons about this plan.
In a huge win for some guy with rhythm that we don't know, Stephen gave the famous The Colbert Bump to one of the famous IRS Dancers. Other guys just got a little air time for their troubles with the IRS. The beef Stephen has with the IRS is not that they dance or not that they only work one day a year on April 15. No, it's that they are not as efficient as they could be. It is a simple matter to work while you are dancing and Stephen did so to prove it. He is so light on his feet. If one of his guests ever failed to show up for an interview, I just know the studio audience and TV audience would be mesmerized by a segment of Stephen dancing. Move over Fred Astaire.
Stephen's guest last night was Academy Award-winning director, Alex Gibney. His new film is "We Steal Secrets - The Story of WikiLeaks." (Better send Jay the Intern into the Green Room to make sure no one stole the snacks and beverages.) Although on the one hand, Stephen was interested in what Alex Gibney had to say, on the other hand, he didn't want to hear any sensitive state secrets. I'm reluctant to report more on the interview because I feel like I would be giving away secrets of the interview.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Hear It Here
I wasn't going to write anything else until Stephen is back with the news of the day, but a few stories caught my eye. For sure I wasn't going to write anything more about this person, but the media just keeps finding new stuff to write about. Fine, it's about Michele Bachmann and also Jim Graves. Jim Graves almost beat her last time, so now that she has dropped out, it looks better for him, maybe. But now there's an even bigger twist. Jim Graves is not going to run. He figures no one could be as bad as she is, so anybody would be an improvement. However, Philip Bump (no relation to Colbert Bump) has another idea. Maybe she will jump back in at the last minute. He said in the last sentence, "You heard it here first." Therefore, I wanted to give him another platform to talk about this. If he does prove to have figured it all out, well, I think I will ask him for good numbers to choose for the Lottery. You didn't hear it first here at The Colbert Bump, but, you did hear it here.
But the second news item that caught my eye is for women only. So men, you can stop reading now.
It's about bras and I'm quite sure Stephen would definitely have this covered. Jockey thinks it can come up with a whole new bra sizing system. Wrong. The current bra sizing system is written in stone and is as old as the hills. No one can mess with that system.
As if that isn't bad enough, they have a "Fit Kit". And it only costs $19.95! To find out what your size is!! Sure, you get a $20 email coupon, but that just means you will have to buy one of their bras in order to get the $20 back!!! And really, ladies, what are you going to do if none of their bras fit you? They have only ten cup sizes. What if you are the eleventh size cup? You'll be left out in the cold. And you know what they say about cold.
The only way to know if a bra fits is to try it on. Just like shoes, you really need to try the article on to see if it fits you. If the shoe fits, please wear it on your foot. And if the... oh, never mind.
Men, you can start reading this blog again.
But the second news item that caught my eye is for women only. So men, you can stop reading now.
It's about bras and I'm quite sure Stephen would definitely have this covered. Jockey thinks it can come up with a whole new bra sizing system. Wrong. The current bra sizing system is written in stone and is as old as the hills. No one can mess with that system.
As if that isn't bad enough, they have a "Fit Kit". And it only costs $19.95! To find out what your size is!! Sure, you get a $20 email coupon, but that just means you will have to buy one of their bras in order to get the $20 back!!! And really, ladies, what are you going to do if none of their bras fit you? They have only ten cup sizes. What if you are the eleventh size cup? You'll be left out in the cold. And you know what they say about cold.
The only way to know if a bra fits is to try it on. Just like shoes, you really need to try the article on to see if it fits you. If the shoe fits, please wear it on your foot. And if the... oh, never mind.
Men, you can start reading this blog again.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Enough is Enough
I've been watching the news tonight. Still lots of stuff about Congresswoman Michele Bachmann deciding not to run again in 2014. At least not for her current seat in Congress. She told everybody in a video. See previous post. And I thought to myself, if only Stephen was not on vacation, he could get her on the show tonight. But that won't work because she is in Russia. Wait a minute. What if .... Stephen was on vacation in Russia and saw Michele Bachmann in Russia and he could interview her there? It's possible. They could both be in the same Russian place at the same Russian time.
But back to the issue at hand. She said she had spent enough time in Congress, in that specific district. And I thought, why not look back on what she's accomplished, since when her term is up she will have spent eight years working in Congress. Eight years is surely enough time to accomplish a lot of stuff.
I figured I would have to do a lot of research to find everything she did in the last three terms plus this one so far. Lucky break for me. Someone already did that research and posted it online at Huffington Post. There's some video of her, then a neat chart of her Complete Legislative History, and then some photos of her waving. The neat chart is from govtrack.us. Charts are great because you can see everything in one neat little diagram.
Unfortunately, this chart doesn't have much substance. I guess I will have to do more research on her accomplishments and put it in another post at a later date. Check back here on June 31. I should have more information by then.
But back to the issue at hand. She said she had spent enough time in Congress, in that specific district. And I thought, why not look back on what she's accomplished, since when her term is up she will have spent eight years working in Congress. Eight years is surely enough time to accomplish a lot of stuff.
I figured I would have to do a lot of research to find everything she did in the last three terms plus this one so far. Lucky break for me. Someone already did that research and posted it online at Huffington Post. There's some video of her, then a neat chart of her Complete Legislative History, and then some photos of her waving. The neat chart is from govtrack.us. Charts are great because you can see everything in one neat little diagram.
Unfortunately, this chart doesn't have much substance. I guess I will have to do more research on her accomplishments and put it in another post at a later date. Check back here on June 31. I should have more information by then.
And I Quote Her, "Thank God"
Without fail when Stephen goes on vacation, something big happens. Or, is it because he goes on vacation that something big happens? Perhaps there are some in the political world or entertainment world or sports world that just wait until he is not on the TV machine to make their bold announcements, mistakenly thinking that no one will notice and report on it.
So, is it possible that's what happened this week? Michele Bachmann has had enough of being on the Government payroll. She is going to quit after this term runs out. Knowing how people would respond to this news, she made a video where she sadly announced her plans. You can watch the whole thing here over at Vanity Fair.
I can't know how this will affect Stephen. He never got the chance to have her on his Better Know a District segment. And now the chances of that ever happening look pretty slim. Maybe she will come on the The Colbert Report and be interviewed after she writes a new book. Heaven knows she could use the Colbert Bump to sell a few copies of her first book. That will change once she agrees to spend a little TV time with Stephen. Her books will fly off the shelves after she talks with him.
In the video over at Vanity Fair, she said that eight years is enough time to spend in Congress. No, wait a minute. She said "... eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a Representative for a specific Congressional District." What does she mean when she says the word "specific?" Is she thinking of running in a different district? You do know she doesn't actually live in the District she represents, right? Is she going to run in the District in which she lives?
She goes on to say none of those scandals that you have been reading about influenced her decision to not run again. And the narrow margin by which she won (or the huge margin by which she won, depending on how you spin it) had no bearing on her decision either.
She says some more stuff, stuff we've heard before, so you can ignore that part of the video.
As for her future plans. Well she tells us near the end of the video that basically all deals are on the table. She will do anything if it will help save our wonderful nation for future generations.
So there you have it. Michele Bachmann is giving up on Congress, but still willing to save the world. Maybe there's a future in Hollywood for her. Surely someone can come up with another superhero?
So, is it possible that's what happened this week? Michele Bachmann has had enough of being on the Government payroll. She is going to quit after this term runs out. Knowing how people would respond to this news, she made a video where she sadly announced her plans. You can watch the whole thing here over at Vanity Fair.
I can't know how this will affect Stephen. He never got the chance to have her on his Better Know a District segment. And now the chances of that ever happening look pretty slim. Maybe she will come on the The Colbert Report and be interviewed after she writes a new book. Heaven knows she could use the Colbert Bump to sell a few copies of her first book. That will change once she agrees to spend a little TV time with Stephen. Her books will fly off the shelves after she talks with him.
In the video over at Vanity Fair, she said that eight years is enough time to spend in Congress. No, wait a minute. She said "... eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a Representative for a specific Congressional District." What does she mean when she says the word "specific?" Is she thinking of running in a different district? You do know she doesn't actually live in the District she represents, right? Is she going to run in the District in which she lives?
She goes on to say none of those scandals that you have been reading about influenced her decision to not run again. And the narrow margin by which she won (or the huge margin by which she won, depending on how you spin it) had no bearing on her decision either.
She says some more stuff, stuff we've heard before, so you can ignore that part of the video.
As for her future plans. Well she tells us near the end of the video that basically all deals are on the table. She will do anything if it will help save our wonderful nation for future generations.
So there you have it. Michele Bachmann is giving up on Congress, but still willing to save the world. Maybe there's a future in Hollywood for her. Surely someone can come up with another superhero?
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Baby It's Cold Outside
The Fiscal Cliff is coming to town. Yes, it's that time of year when everything bad you ever thought might happen, will happen unless Congress gets its act together and acts. Of course, both sides go back and forth saying who's to blame. Some even say that the White House is daring Republicans to blink. Joke's on Obama - Stephen knows some Republicans who have had their eyelids surgically removed. (Here's looking at you, Michele Bachmann!)
John Boehner has a plan to cut spending by demanding that Obama comes up with his plan, but all that does is set up a neat Mad Libs scenario. Stephen even had an example of a short Mad Libs from the 2013 G.O.P. Budget:
We agree to cut ten bazillion from the program that gives ukuleles to the sticky poor. toilet-boobs!
Stephen had his Threat Down segment on last night. It always scares me when he exposes all these threats. Sometimes I'm so stunned I miss half of what he says. That being said, North Korean archaeologists have found an ancient unicorn lair. They know it is a unicorn lair because if you go "200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang City" you can find "A rectangular rock carved with the words 'Unicorn Lair' ..."
The reason this is a threat is that young girls universally love unicorns. If North Korea plays this right (or wrong depending on your perspective) young girls will be drawn into Communism because of the lure of unicorns.
Next, Stephen talked about the Recession. It seems even construction workers end up staying home with the kids. To appeal to this market of consumers, there is now a Barbie Doll that is a construction worker. This is a bad idea and Stephen demonstrated why. (Barbie does not have load bearing ankles.) Barbie is also the cause of the Recession, according to Stephen, because she is hogging all the jobs. He had examples: doctor, astronaut, race car driver, police officer, flight attendant, computer engineer, fire fighter, dentist, paleontologist, and a Fox News anchor.
Did you know there is a war against the gays? Luckily, California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill, a gay "reparative therapy" ban, because reparative therapy is "based on junk science." (It is interesting that Stephen had a tiny segment about Michele Bachmann on at the beginning of the show and yet he did not mention her in this segment. Maybe that's because it's old news, and yet, old news is still news.)
We got to see highlights of the most effective "anti-gay therapies." These therapies included, and I'm paraphrasing here, making orange juice, playing tennis, going into a locker room, and visiting a bath house. Stephen mentioned that along with banning such therapies, we also have given up trying to cure left-handedness.
The guest last night was Malcolm Gladwell, and he brought with him "The Big New Yorker Book of Dogs." Stephen got him to admit that he, Gladwell, does not actually own a dog. He claims it is because his building does not allow dogs. However, he is still a dog lover. A few years back, he saved a dog that was on death row after being wrongly convicted of biting a young girl!
In one of those rare nights, Stephen had a second guest. Friend of the show, Audra McDonald, joined Stephen at the end of the show for a wonderful treat. She and Stephen sang, "Baby, It's Cold Out There." And again, impressive. Both are so talented, great way to end the show.
John Boehner has a plan to cut spending by demanding that Obama comes up with his plan, but all that does is set up a neat Mad Libs scenario. Stephen even had an example of a short Mad Libs from the 2013 G.O.P. Budget:
We agree to cut ten bazillion from the program that gives ukuleles to the sticky poor. toilet-boobs!
Stephen had his Threat Down segment on last night. It always scares me when he exposes all these threats. Sometimes I'm so stunned I miss half of what he says. That being said, North Korean archaeologists have found an ancient unicorn lair. They know it is a unicorn lair because if you go "200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang City" you can find "A rectangular rock carved with the words 'Unicorn Lair' ..."
The reason this is a threat is that young girls universally love unicorns. If North Korea plays this right (or wrong depending on your perspective) young girls will be drawn into Communism because of the lure of unicorns.
Next, Stephen talked about the Recession. It seems even construction workers end up staying home with the kids. To appeal to this market of consumers, there is now a Barbie Doll that is a construction worker. This is a bad idea and Stephen demonstrated why. (Barbie does not have load bearing ankles.) Barbie is also the cause of the Recession, according to Stephen, because she is hogging all the jobs. He had examples: doctor, astronaut, race car driver, police officer, flight attendant, computer engineer, fire fighter, dentist, paleontologist, and a Fox News anchor.
Did you know there is a war against the gays? Luckily, California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill, a gay "reparative therapy" ban, because reparative therapy is "based on junk science." (It is interesting that Stephen had a tiny segment about Michele Bachmann on at the beginning of the show and yet he did not mention her in this segment. Maybe that's because it's old news, and yet, old news is still news.)
We got to see highlights of the most effective "anti-gay therapies." These therapies included, and I'm paraphrasing here, making orange juice, playing tennis, going into a locker room, and visiting a bath house. Stephen mentioned that along with banning such therapies, we also have given up trying to cure left-handedness.
The guest last night was Malcolm Gladwell, and he brought with him "The Big New Yorker Book of Dogs." Stephen got him to admit that he, Gladwell, does not actually own a dog. He claims it is because his building does not allow dogs. However, he is still a dog lover. A few years back, he saved a dog that was on death row after being wrongly convicted of biting a young girl!
In one of those rare nights, Stephen had a second guest. Friend of the show, Audra McDonald, joined Stephen at the end of the show for a wonderful treat. She and Stephen sang, "Baby, It's Cold Out There." And again, impressive. Both are so talented, great way to end the show.
Friday, August 10, 2012
You're Gonna Make It After All
Stephen started out honoring Michele Bachmann for her unrelenting search for people who are different from her. See more about that in previous post about John McCain.
Speaking of Minnesota, Stephen is getting caught up with Better Know a District. The 67th Installment was the Fighting 5th District in Minnesota, the area that includes Minneapolis. There you can find the Hennepin Avenue Bridge crossing the Mississippi (and the Ippississim), the Walker Art Center, the Spoon Bridge, and the home of Prince. We got to see some typical winter wear for Minnesota cold winters. And Stephen sat down, in a room, with three term Congressman Keith Ellison.
Keith Ellison is a Muslim, in fact, he is the first Muslim elected to Congress. Stephen called him the very first secret Muslim. Congressman Ellison told him he is not a secret Muslim, at which point Stephen said he is the first openly secret Muslim in Congress. He then asked the Congressman to say to his friends, "Stephen's cool." Keith complied and said, "Steve's cool."
The discussion turned to Michele Bachmann and her recent hunt for the aforementioned people who are different than her. "How much infiltration is there?" asked Stephen. "None," replied Congressman Ellison. But then, apparently, Stephen caught him in some sort of weird logic trap. And I only say weird because in college I learned that when something is illogical, you can not use it to prove something logically. But I digress.
"Are you a Muslim?"
"Yes sir."
"Do you have siblings?
"Yes sir."
"So you are literally a Muslim brother."
"I guess."
"I just caught you."
Stephen went on to say that a little witch hunt never hurt anyone, however, the Congressman disagreed. "It hurts a lot of people." He believes it is better to be fair.
So, who is Congressman Keith Ellison supporting for president? He was asked three times and answered each time, "Obama." Stephen tried a different tactic to get him to change his mind. What about if Mitt Romney called Keith Ellison and asked him to be the Vice President candidate? To make it easier for the viewers, Stephen had the two of them act out the phone call between Mitt Romney and Keith Ellison. Stephen played the part of Mitt, and Keith played the part of Keith. Even so, Keith turned Mitt down. That did not seem to register with Stephen/Mitt who seemed to think that the answer had been yes. Truthiness, perhaps?
Anyway, Minneapolis is also home to Mary Tyler Moore. There was a great sing-along of the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And then, to conclude the interview, Stephen convinced Keith Ellison to toss a hat up in the air.
It is not easy being interviewed for the Better Know a District segment, but Congressman Ellison did a fairly decent job answering Stephen's questions. I imagine we can be looking for Congresswoman Michele Bachmann to show up soon on the show. Stephen must have so many questions he would like to ask her. I can hardly wait.
Who's honoring him now? Or as Stephen would say, who's honoring me now? Apparently, well he's not really being honored, more like mentioned. But, psychologists in Canada and New Zealand have found truth in truthiness. And, people are more likely to say something was true if there was a decorative picture to go along with a statement. Stephen believed the research. After all, there was a picture of him. He was uncomfortable that science was used to prove this. He would have preferred that truthinessiness proved the truth about truthiness.
Stephen's guest was Woody Harrelson. He has written and directed the off-Broadway play, "Bullet for Adolf." Lest you think he just came on the show to promote this, let me reassure you. He didn't. He just shamelessly sucked up to Stephen and then casually unbuttoned his shirt a bit where we notice what looks like a huge tattoo for "Bullet for Adolf." Stephen assumed this was the sequel to "The Sound of Music," but no, it is not anything like that show. Stephen doesn't often get gifts from the guests, but Woody Harrelson was kind enough to give him a T-shirt. And it just happened to be a "Bullet For Adolph" shirt. What's the chances of that happening, right?
Speaking of Minnesota, Stephen is getting caught up with Better Know a District. The 67th Installment was the Fighting 5th District in Minnesota, the area that includes Minneapolis. There you can find the Hennepin Avenue Bridge crossing the Mississippi (and the Ippississim), the Walker Art Center, the Spoon Bridge, and the home of Prince. We got to see some typical winter wear for Minnesota cold winters. And Stephen sat down, in a room, with three term Congressman Keith Ellison.
Keith Ellison is a Muslim, in fact, he is the first Muslim elected to Congress. Stephen called him the very first secret Muslim. Congressman Ellison told him he is not a secret Muslim, at which point Stephen said he is the first openly secret Muslim in Congress. He then asked the Congressman to say to his friends, "Stephen's cool." Keith complied and said, "Steve's cool."
The discussion turned to Michele Bachmann and her recent hunt for the aforementioned people who are different than her. "How much infiltration is there?" asked Stephen. "None," replied Congressman Ellison. But then, apparently, Stephen caught him in some sort of weird logic trap. And I only say weird because in college I learned that when something is illogical, you can not use it to prove something logically. But I digress.
"Are you a Muslim?"
"Yes sir."
"Do you have siblings?
"Yes sir."
"So you are literally a Muslim brother."
"I guess."
"I just caught you."
Stephen went on to say that a little witch hunt never hurt anyone, however, the Congressman disagreed. "It hurts a lot of people." He believes it is better to be fair.
So, who is Congressman Keith Ellison supporting for president? He was asked three times and answered each time, "Obama." Stephen tried a different tactic to get him to change his mind. What about if Mitt Romney called Keith Ellison and asked him to be the Vice President candidate? To make it easier for the viewers, Stephen had the two of them act out the phone call between Mitt Romney and Keith Ellison. Stephen played the part of Mitt, and Keith played the part of Keith. Even so, Keith turned Mitt down. That did not seem to register with Stephen/Mitt who seemed to think that the answer had been yes. Truthiness, perhaps?
Anyway, Minneapolis is also home to Mary Tyler Moore. There was a great sing-along of the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And then, to conclude the interview, Stephen convinced Keith Ellison to toss a hat up in the air.
It is not easy being interviewed for the Better Know a District segment, but Congressman Ellison did a fairly decent job answering Stephen's questions. I imagine we can be looking for Congresswoman Michele Bachmann to show up soon on the show. Stephen must have so many questions he would like to ask her. I can hardly wait.
Who's honoring him now? Or as Stephen would say, who's honoring me now? Apparently, well he's not really being honored, more like mentioned. But, psychologists in Canada and New Zealand have found truth in truthiness. And, people are more likely to say something was true if there was a decorative picture to go along with a statement. Stephen believed the research. After all, there was a picture of him. He was uncomfortable that science was used to prove this. He would have preferred that truthinessiness proved the truth about truthiness.
Stephen's guest was Woody Harrelson. He has written and directed the off-Broadway play, "Bullet for Adolf." Lest you think he just came on the show to promote this, let me reassure you. He didn't. He just shamelessly sucked up to Stephen and then casually unbuttoned his shirt a bit where we notice what looks like a huge tattoo for "Bullet for Adolf." Stephen assumed this was the sequel to "The Sound of Music," but no, it is not anything like that show. Stephen doesn't often get gifts from the guests, but Woody Harrelson was kind enough to give him a T-shirt. And it just happened to be a "Bullet For Adolph" shirt. What's the chances of that happening, right?
Friday, July 20, 2012
John McCain, Michele Bachmann, and Baloney
Senator John McCain took to the Senate Floor recently and talked about the character, reputation and patriotism of one person and how it relates to the very soul of America. Politico posted a clip of parts of the speech by Senator John McCain defending Huma Abedin.
Jon Stewart, Michele Bachmann, and Bacon
I admit it. I also watch Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. I hope this does not offend Stephen. I am still able to laugh, cheer, and applaud Stephen's show even though I typically just laughed, cheered and applauded Jon's show. I found this over at Huffington Post so that now you too can watch part of last last night's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Don't you just love charts?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Right Down the Line
It's the duty of the President of the United States to protect the Secret Service, right? That's what Stephen was wondering about as he told us about what some are calling the worst scandal in Secret Service History. Those photos of assassinated presidents behind Stephen hint to us that maybe Lincoln being shot might have been worse. Wait a minute. It's supposed to be the other way around. The Secret Service protects the President. Time will tell as the investigation continues.
But all kidding aside, it is a serious job to protect the president as well as presidential candidates such as Mitt Romney. There are about 6,500 Secret Service Employees. Originally it was combating counterfeit money that was the mission of the Secret Service. Find out more about what the Secret Service does over at their website.
Stephen talked more about the war on women. (Just keep reading posts here until you have read down through April 10 if you want more information.) I will mention here that if you are a fan of chickens, skip this segment of the show if you watch it later. Stephen had harsh words for a chicken.
Women are special. That's the word from Ann Romney. She knows this because she is a woman. Women are the big prize this year in the election. (I think many of them would be happy to therefore get a prize, but they just have to be content will all the new laws aimed at women.) How can we stop this war on women? One way, and we should have seen this coming, is to turn it around and have a war on husbands. Here's what Michele Bachmann had to say: "One thing I know when women are home full time they probably have a better pulse on the economy than even their husbands." I suppose that's because women at home are spending considerable time reading up on the tax code, trade policies with different countries around the world, mortgage rates as it relates to foreclosures in different regions of the country, job trends for college graduates, and inflation and its effect on investments. Husbands don't know about this, do they?
Bonnie Raitt was the guest tonight. No, sorry, Stephen did not sing along with her when she sang "Right Down the Line" from her latest and 19th album, "Slipstream." You can read more about her over at Wikipedia, and get a bit of an idea about her many accomplishments and awards over at IMDb.
It was obvious that Stephen was a fan of hers. She obviously was a fan of his as this is what she said at the beginning of the interview:
"You make our life worthwhile, Stephen."
But all kidding aside, it is a serious job to protect the president as well as presidential candidates such as Mitt Romney. There are about 6,500 Secret Service Employees. Originally it was combating counterfeit money that was the mission of the Secret Service. Find out more about what the Secret Service does over at their website.
Stephen talked more about the war on women. (Just keep reading posts here until you have read down through April 10 if you want more information.) I will mention here that if you are a fan of chickens, skip this segment of the show if you watch it later. Stephen had harsh words for a chicken.
Women are special. That's the word from Ann Romney. She knows this because she is a woman. Women are the big prize this year in the election. (I think many of them would be happy to therefore get a prize, but they just have to be content will all the new laws aimed at women.) How can we stop this war on women? One way, and we should have seen this coming, is to turn it around and have a war on husbands. Here's what Michele Bachmann had to say: "One thing I know when women are home full time they probably have a better pulse on the economy than even their husbands." I suppose that's because women at home are spending considerable time reading up on the tax code, trade policies with different countries around the world, mortgage rates as it relates to foreclosures in different regions of the country, job trends for college graduates, and inflation and its effect on investments. Husbands don't know about this, do they?
Bonnie Raitt was the guest tonight. No, sorry, Stephen did not sing along with her when she sang "Right Down the Line" from her latest and 19th album, "Slipstream." You can read more about her over at Wikipedia, and get a bit of an idea about her many accomplishments and awards over at IMDb.
It was obvious that Stephen was a fan of hers. She obviously was a fan of his as this is what she said at the beginning of the interview:
"You make our life worthwhile, Stephen."
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I Was the Perfect Candidate
I know what you're thinking. Stephen Colbert was the perfect candidate for President of the United States. That is true. No one can deny that.
But actually it is someone else who is claiming that honor. Michele Bachmann. (And yes, Bachmannouri is one of the names for the new Moon state and it was named after her.) You can hear her say that she was the perfect candidate over at HuffPo along with a lot of other things. She talked with Bloomberg TV's Al Hunt for quite a while, although she also admitted that he wasn't going to get answers from her. He asked questions such as who is best out of the field of GOP candidates left standing. She must be biding her time so that she doesn't back a loser.
It's long, over twenty minutes, so if you have a short attention span, you might not get through all of it. But if you listen around 4:20 you can hear her say she was most conservative and that she was the perfect candidate.
Really? Really? I wish someone would ask that question of Stephen Colbert. He is the most conservative and he is the perfect candidate. There can't be two who are most conservative, because "most" automatically means the person at the top of the list.
Perhaps the way to really judge who is perfect is to just ask yourself this: Who has his own TV show? Yes, we can tell who is best my simply remembering that he has a TV show and she doesn't.
Glad I could shed some light on that issue.
But actually it is someone else who is claiming that honor. Michele Bachmann. (And yes, Bachmannouri is one of the names for the new Moon state and it was named after her.) You can hear her say that she was the perfect candidate over at HuffPo along with a lot of other things. She talked with Bloomberg TV's Al Hunt for quite a while, although she also admitted that he wasn't going to get answers from her. He asked questions such as who is best out of the field of GOP candidates left standing. She must be biding her time so that she doesn't back a loser.
It's long, over twenty minutes, so if you have a short attention span, you might not get through all of it. But if you listen around 4:20 you can hear her say she was most conservative and that she was the perfect candidate.
Really? Really? I wish someone would ask that question of Stephen Colbert. He is the most conservative and he is the perfect candidate. There can't be two who are most conservative, because "most" automatically means the person at the top of the list.
Perhaps the way to really judge who is perfect is to just ask yourself this: Who has his own TV show? Yes, we can tell who is best my simply remembering that he has a TV show and she doesn't.
Glad I could shed some light on that issue.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Decision of a Lifetime
I'm almost too excited to write about anything tonight. Tomorrow night there will be a major announcement, and by major announcement, I mean Major Announcement! Stephen reported that in Public Policy Polling of 1,112 likely GOP voters in the South Carolina GOP Primary, Jon Huntsman would get 4% of the vote, but Stephen Colbert would get 5% of the vote! And if you remember how excited Jon Huntsman was to come in at third place up in New Hampshire, well just imagine how excited Stephen would be to come in even better than Jon Huntsman. It's a good thing people like Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, and Herman Cain aren't hanging around the GOP tent any more. They would have no chance against Stephen Colbert in the South Carolina GOP Primary.
Oh, wait. I'm getting way ahead of everyone. There hasn't even been an announcement yet.
Tune in tomorrow to see what the Major Announcement is.
So, the show tonight. Well, Stephen talked about Mitt Romney. There's no fireworks with Mitt. Sort of like an arranged marriage. And then Andy Cohen (not to be confused with Andy Schlafly) stopped by to chat with Stephen about Mitt. (Mitt's good. But not great.)
And then Stephen talked a little bit about Phobos-Grunt spacecraft. Not that important, other than the fact that it's coming down this weekend. It will probably come down to earth west of Indonesia, but maybe not. If I am reading this map correctly, it could also come down in North America, South America, Africa, Europe, India, China, Australia or a few other places. Antarctica looks relatively safe and Russia seems to be in a good spot. But, not to worry, it will mostly burn up upon re-entry.
George Stephanopoulus was the guest tonight and showed his good manners by bringing Stephen a bottle containing a beverage so that they could each have a sip. George wished Stephen good luck in the South Carolina Primary. The two of them discussed politics some more with Stephen wondering what would happen if Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden were to change places. Well, George told Stephen the three places where that idea was not being discussed: Clinton's office, Biden's office and Obama's office.
Remember to tune in tomorrow for the Major Announcement.
Oh, wait. I'm getting way ahead of everyone. There hasn't even been an announcement yet.
Tune in tomorrow to see what the Major Announcement is.
So, the show tonight. Well, Stephen talked about Mitt Romney. There's no fireworks with Mitt. Sort of like an arranged marriage. And then Andy Cohen (not to be confused with Andy Schlafly) stopped by to chat with Stephen about Mitt. (Mitt's good. But not great.)
And then Stephen talked a little bit about Phobos-Grunt spacecraft. Not that important, other than the fact that it's coming down this weekend. It will probably come down to earth west of Indonesia, but maybe not. If I am reading this map correctly, it could also come down in North America, South America, Africa, Europe, India, China, Australia or a few other places. Antarctica looks relatively safe and Russia seems to be in a good spot. But, not to worry, it will mostly burn up upon re-entry.
George Stephanopoulus was the guest tonight and showed his good manners by bringing Stephen a bottle containing a beverage so that they could each have a sip. George wished Stephen good luck in the South Carolina Primary. The two of them discussed politics some more with Stephen wondering what would happen if Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden were to change places. Well, George told Stephen the three places where that idea was not being discussed: Clinton's office, Biden's office and Obama's office.
Remember to tune in tomorrow for the Major Announcement.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
O Beautiful For Spacious Skies
For amber waves of grain.
You probably remember how the rest of the song goes. If not, just catch one of Mitt Romney's speeches. Stephen had a clip of Romney's victory speech from last night, the part where Mitt recites the words to the song. (If it would have been Herman Cain, it would have been sung, but I digress.) Of course at first Stephen had the wrong clips of a different night, many different nights and speeches, of Mitt Romney reciting the words from "America, the Beautiful." I now think that Stephen was using humor to highlight the fact that Mitt seems to keep using those familiar and patriotic verses over and over again. It's almost like he has a plan to make that song his own.
I figured why not get a few facts about these spacious skies and amber waves to share with my readers. So, I Googled "O beautiful for spacious skies." Well, of course, near the top of the results, is an entry by trusty old Wikipedia for the song, "America, the Beautiful." Then I did a double take, for right after it, in the Google results, was a link to a YouTube video of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing the song. What's up with that? You do know that Romney is a Mormon, right? And then I looked at Google images. Not surprisingly, there were lots of images of spacious skies, lots of images of amber waves of grain, lots of images of patriotic things (flags, fireworks, soldiers, eagles), and then there it was. A photo of Mitt Romney! So then I went to a website to see the lyrics and there was an ad for Mitt Romney.
It's obvious Mitt is trying very hard to have people salivate whenever they hear that song. And to have them think of Mitt Romney. Other candidates will be associated with other things. Stephen even mentioned Rick Santorum. And who can hear Michele Bachmann's name without seeing a pair of false eyelashes? For Herman Cain, it was 9-9-9. For so many candidates, there is one thing that will always be identified with them. Mitt Romney must be trying very hard to choose what people think about when they think of him. Will it work? Come back in 11 months and ask me then.
Perhaps more interesting on the show, in fact, the best part of the show was Stephen at the FLICKTRONIC-TRON 5600. Man, Stephen has got flicking down to an art. CNN needs to practice their flicking or people will stop going to CNN for news and only get their news from The Colbert Report.
Later in the show, Stephen checked in with all his good friends at WOI-DT abc 5 News to find out what's happening in Des Moines, Iowa. The excitement was more than I could bear.
The guest tonight was John Heilemann, National Affairs Editor of New York Magazine. Thankfully, they did discuss the recent Iowa Caucus and all the candidates. Although Romney won by an 8-vote landslide, Santorum, in a three-way with two other men, was such a close second that you could almost call it a tie. Now many of them head up to New Hampshire and then on to South Carolina. The excitement keeps building. It will be a fun ride heading to November.
You probably remember how the rest of the song goes. If not, just catch one of Mitt Romney's speeches. Stephen had a clip of Romney's victory speech from last night, the part where Mitt recites the words to the song. (If it would have been Herman Cain, it would have been sung, but I digress.) Of course at first Stephen had the wrong clips of a different night, many different nights and speeches, of Mitt Romney reciting the words from "America, the Beautiful." I now think that Stephen was using humor to highlight the fact that Mitt seems to keep using those familiar and patriotic verses over and over again. It's almost like he has a plan to make that song his own.
I figured why not get a few facts about these spacious skies and amber waves to share with my readers. So, I Googled "O beautiful for spacious skies." Well, of course, near the top of the results, is an entry by trusty old Wikipedia for the song, "America, the Beautiful." Then I did a double take, for right after it, in the Google results, was a link to a YouTube video of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing the song. What's up with that? You do know that Romney is a Mormon, right? And then I looked at Google images. Not surprisingly, there were lots of images of spacious skies, lots of images of amber waves of grain, lots of images of patriotic things (flags, fireworks, soldiers, eagles), and then there it was. A photo of Mitt Romney! So then I went to a website to see the lyrics and there was an ad for Mitt Romney.
It's obvious Mitt is trying very hard to have people salivate whenever they hear that song. And to have them think of Mitt Romney. Other candidates will be associated with other things. Stephen even mentioned Rick Santorum. And who can hear Michele Bachmann's name without seeing a pair of false eyelashes? For Herman Cain, it was 9-9-9. For so many candidates, there is one thing that will always be identified with them. Mitt Romney must be trying very hard to choose what people think about when they think of him. Will it work? Come back in 11 months and ask me then.
Perhaps more interesting on the show, in fact, the best part of the show was Stephen at the FLICKTRONIC-TRON 5600. Man, Stephen has got flicking down to an art. CNN needs to practice their flicking or people will stop going to CNN for news and only get their news from The Colbert Report.
Later in the show, Stephen checked in with all his good friends at WOI-DT abc 5 News to find out what's happening in Des Moines, Iowa. The excitement was more than I could bear.
The guest tonight was John Heilemann, National Affairs Editor of New York Magazine. Thankfully, they did discuss the recent Iowa Caucus and all the candidates. Although Romney won by an 8-vote landslide, Santorum, in a three-way with two other men, was such a close second that you could almost call it a tie. Now many of them head up to New Hampshire and then on to South Carolina. The excitement keeps building. It will be a fun ride heading to November.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Frank to the Rescue
Poor Michele Bachmann. Everyone picks on her. She can't get a break anywhere. Oh, woe is her. Woe is her.
ABC
There was this trouble a while ago with ABC. "We didn't have time for any questions."
CBS
Then this. "He is a piece of ____ . He is a fraud and he should be fired."
NBC
And most recently this. "... likely they could have fired the drummer, "
There are obviously some people who are not with the program, so to speak. Everyone is supposed to be supporting Michele Bachmann. No one is supposed to say anything negative. Is it because she is a woman? It's time we let women out of the kitchen. No longer should they be content with the jobs of yesteryear: nurse, teacher and waitress.
OOPS! She just made herself into a waitress. Yikes. Granted she was able to take up nearly a minute of time with the focus all on her.
Dr. Frank Luntz, friend of the show, came through with the perfect words to move the debate along. After all, he is somewhat of a wordsmith. He made Michele Bachmann think that she was going to speak first and that got her to sit down right away. He is so smart. No wonder Stephen has him on the show so often.
ABC
There was this trouble a while ago with ABC. "We didn't have time for any questions."
CBS
Then this. "He is a piece of ____ . He is a fraud and he should be fired."
NBC
And most recently this. "... likely they could have fired the drummer, "
There are obviously some people who are not with the program, so to speak. Everyone is supposed to be supporting Michele Bachmann. No one is supposed to say anything negative. Is it because she is a woman? It's time we let women out of the kitchen. No longer should they be content with the jobs of yesteryear: nurse, teacher and waitress.
OOPS! She just made herself into a waitress. Yikes. Granted she was able to take up nearly a minute of time with the focus all on her.
Dr. Frank Luntz, friend of the show, came through with the perfect words to move the debate along. After all, he is somewhat of a wordsmith. He made Michele Bachmann think that she was going to speak first and that got her to sit down right away. He is so smart. No wonder Stephen has him on the show so often.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Toaster Project
As you may know, there have been many GOP debates recently, and there will probably be more to come yet. After the recent one at CBS, Michele Bachmann was outraged because she did not get to be in the limelight. As is her custom, she sent out another one of her urgent, "this is an outrage" emails to supporters telling them to send her more money. By the way, you can read about limelights here at Wikipedia.
Sometimes, Stephen highlights what other news anchors have talked about and tonight he featured a lot of news from FOX. There's talk about the Keystone Pipeline Project. According to FOX, it would create at least 20,000 jobs; it would create at least 50,000 jobs; a total of about 118,000 indirect jobs; it would create 120,000 jobs, it could provide up to a million new high paying jobs. Stay tuned. I'm sure Stephen will let us know when FOX has it up to a billion new jobs.
Congratulations to Jay the Intern as he welcomed his cute new baby boy into the world.
Stephen's guest tonight was Thomas Thwaites, author of The Toaster Project. At first I thought it would be boring, but it was quite interesting. Thwaites built a toaster from scratch. By that I mean he even tried smelting iron in his mom's microwave. To help him know what to do, he bought a cheap toaster and took that apart. Take a guess. How many parts in the toaster? Would you believe 400 parts?!? That website is interesting because it is one of the few that you need to scroll across from left to right, rather than scrolling from top to bottom.
So, while a toaster might not seem very interesting, if you think about what you would have to do to build it totally from scratch, it would keep a person busy for quite a while.
Imagine if he had tried to build a car, a computer or a television!
Sometimes, Stephen highlights what other news anchors have talked about and tonight he featured a lot of news from FOX. There's talk about the Keystone Pipeline Project. According to FOX, it would create at least 20,000 jobs; it would create at least 50,000 jobs; a total of about 118,000 indirect jobs; it would create 120,000 jobs, it could provide up to a million new high paying jobs. Stay tuned. I'm sure Stephen will let us know when FOX has it up to a billion new jobs.
Congratulations to Jay the Intern as he welcomed his cute new baby boy into the world.
Stephen's guest tonight was Thomas Thwaites, author of The Toaster Project. At first I thought it would be boring, but it was quite interesting. Thwaites built a toaster from scratch. By that I mean he even tried smelting iron in his mom's microwave. To help him know what to do, he bought a cheap toaster and took that apart. Take a guess. How many parts in the toaster? Would you believe 400 parts?!? That website is interesting because it is one of the few that you need to scroll across from left to right, rather than scrolling from top to bottom.
So, while a toaster might not seem very interesting, if you think about what you would have to do to build it totally from scratch, it would keep a person busy for quite a while.
Imagine if he had tried to build a car, a computer or a television!
Monday, September 26, 2011
It Is Enough That It Be "Truthy"
I read a really excellent column by Leonard Pitts Jr. Of The Miami Herald recently. It is about Steven Miles and Arthur Caplan offering $11,000 to charity if someone can prove a link between vaccinations for human papillomavirus and intellectual disability.
This comes after Michele Bachmann said in interviews "She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She said her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."
Go read the column by Pitts now. I'll wait while you do.
~~~~~~~~~ la la la la la~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<+> ^:)#xxxxxxxxxxx...................stephenstephenstephen
Okay, did you read it? Pitts makes some very good points. And did you notice that he also mentions Stephen Colbert? That definitely caught my attention. He also wrote about Jon Kyl. You may remember I wrote about Jon Kyl here and here when Kyl's office excused his bogusivity comments because what he (Kyl) said "was not intended to be a factual statement."
So, $11,000 is up for grabs (for a charity), so do your research and claim that money. Wait a minute, wait just a minute! A link between vaccinations for human papillomavirus and intellectual disability..............
Can anyone tell me if Michele Bachmann had the HPV vaccination?
This comes after Michele Bachmann said in interviews "She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She said her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."
Go read the column by Pitts now. I'll wait while you do.
~~~~~~~~~ la la la la la~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<+> ^:)#xxxxxxxxxxx...................stephenstephenstephen
Okay, did you read it? Pitts makes some very good points. And did you notice that he also mentions Stephen Colbert? That definitely caught my attention. He also wrote about Jon Kyl. You may remember I wrote about Jon Kyl here and here when Kyl's office excused his bogusivity comments because what he (Kyl) said "was not intended to be a factual statement."
So, $11,000 is up for grabs (for a charity), so do your research and claim that money. Wait a minute, wait just a minute! A link between vaccinations for human papillomavirus and intellectual disability..............
Can anyone tell me if Michele Bachmann had the HPV vaccination?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Develops Charm and Charisma
First of all, I was so proud of Stephen. He was able to talk about the Emmys this past weekend without getting emotional. He even showed off his Emmys, although they are from previous years and not as special as a new one. But still, good for him for being a good sport about it.
In a segment some would call "It's math," Stephen showed graphs and statistics which were just great. Pie charts are my favorite, especially this time of year. Republicans have been talking about class warfare lately - you know, how the poor are ganging up on the rich and making life so difficult for the rich. I imagine that also means some of the rich will have to do without maids to change the bedding, just like the poor have to do without beds. But anyway, Stephen showed us the telling numbers.
In 1995, the effective tax rate for millionaires was at 30.4%. In 2009 it was 22.4%.
In 1995, unemployment rate was 5.6% and in 2009, when the taxes for the rich were lower, unemployment went up to 9.3%.
So, taxes high and unemployment low. But taxes low and unemployment high. Okay, now I have to figure out how keeping taxes low for millionaires will help the unemployed. It was a puzzler for Stephen too, so I might not be able to figure it out.
Michele Bachmann was featured in a very short video clip where she suggested that everyone pay income tax, even if they are very poor. She suggested a dollar. A Dollar? She's joking, right? Because a person who paid a dollar in income tax would probably cost at least $10 to keep track of. So that idea would cost the government money rather than bringing in any money. What is in the water she drinks?
Jeffrey Kluger was the guest tonight. His book, "The Sibling Effect - What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us." It's about brothers and sisters. Stephen knows a lot about that subject as he is the youngest of 11 children. We found out that often the youngest, in order to compete in the family, develops Charm and Charisma.
"This is a very good book!" exclaimed Stephen. (Did I mention he was the youngest? Oh, yeah, I did.)
In a segment some would call "It's math," Stephen showed graphs and statistics which were just great. Pie charts are my favorite, especially this time of year. Republicans have been talking about class warfare lately - you know, how the poor are ganging up on the rich and making life so difficult for the rich. I imagine that also means some of the rich will have to do without maids to change the bedding, just like the poor have to do without beds. But anyway, Stephen showed us the telling numbers.
In 1995, the effective tax rate for millionaires was at 30.4%. In 2009 it was 22.4%.
In 1995, unemployment rate was 5.6% and in 2009, when the taxes for the rich were lower, unemployment went up to 9.3%.
So, taxes high and unemployment low. But taxes low and unemployment high. Okay, now I have to figure out how keeping taxes low for millionaires will help the unemployed. It was a puzzler for Stephen too, so I might not be able to figure it out.
Michele Bachmann was featured in a very short video clip where she suggested that everyone pay income tax, even if they are very poor. She suggested a dollar. A Dollar? She's joking, right? Because a person who paid a dollar in income tax would probably cost at least $10 to keep track of. So that idea would cost the government money rather than bringing in any money. What is in the water she drinks?
Jeffrey Kluger was the guest tonight. His book, "The Sibling Effect - What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us." It's about brothers and sisters. Stephen knows a lot about that subject as he is the youngest of 11 children. We found out that often the youngest, in order to compete in the family, develops Charm and Charisma.
"This is a very good book!" exclaimed Stephen. (Did I mention he was the youngest? Oh, yeah, I did.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)