Agreed Mutual Interruption

In addition to spending a lot of time this past week on the Internet, I also went shopping for a new microwave. I thought I would get the one that Stephen stole from Bill O'Reilly, but alas, it was Kevin McNamara who had the winning bid of $5,400. This auction benefited the Yellow Ribbon Fund, so that's a good thing.

Tomorrow night you can watch "The Story of the Jews." Simon Schama was Stephen's guest on his last show before Spring Break. It was fascinating to learn some of the lesser known tidbits about the Jews. It was also an interesting interview because neither man seemed to be able to finish a sentence without the other interrupting. But still they communicated very well.

I Stole the Gravy Boat

Stephen dined in style on the same night of the State Dinner but I won't say where. You will have to figure that out. And he was in quite good company but I won't say who it was.

Bill O'Reilly is auctioning off his notes from the interview he did with President Obama on Super Bo... I mean the Big Game Sunday. So Stephen is auctioning off the microwave oven he "took" from O'Reilly's Green Room. Inside the microwave is a "Spin Zone." Proceeds from the microwave will go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund. If you can't afford to bid on the microwave, you can get a Xerox copy of the iPhone photo of the microwave.

After a lovely segment on menu reading, Stephen welcomed his guest Godfrey Reggio to talk about his film "Visitors." It was quite interesting. Stephen asked the hard questions, such as, "When do I start drooling?"

Attractive Default Expression

Fans of The Colbert Report may be surprised to learn that a Parachute is Not Included. You've been warned.

Stephen watched the Presidential Debate last night and admitted to playing a drinking game. You know how that always turns out. We did learn that basically (n)+4 years=4 years more than (n). No surprise there. I'm pretty sure Mitt Romney was depressed that he didn't get to play back-up acoustic guitar on Barack Obama's successful Apology Tour. Brit Hume awarded the coveted "Attractive Default Expression" to Mitt Romney. For a while, I thought Stephen was going to spend the rest of the show just gazing at Mitt's Attractive Default Expression, but luckily, as Stephen often says, "moving on. "

Nell was featured for a short segment on the show. She is apparently one of the Undecided Voters. The typical Undecided is a single white female, 18-29 years old, employed but has a low income, comes from a Union household, didn't graduate from college, is Protestant but doesn't go to church, and most likely skipped watching the debate. After learning all that, we also learned that she while she is happy, she is still undecided.

Anyone who rides bicycles is most certainly aware that Lance Armstrong has been having some problems lately. Fans of the show will of course know that Stephen started his own Wriststrong charity to highlight wrist injuries. He explained in some detail certain aspects of his own life in colorful detail and his decision and the rationale behind that decision to step down as Chairman of Wriststrong. He will remain on the Board of Directors, and as the only person on the Board, will serve as interim Chairman. Friends of Colbert Nation will remember that the Wriststrong bracelets help raise money for the Yellow Ribbon Fund.

Just one more thing. Stephen will still keep his title, The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World but now he will be putting two large asterisks after it, so it will now be The Reverend Sir Doctor Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World**.

Stephen's guest was John Grisham who brought his newest book, "The Racketeer." Stephen mentioned another author, Stephen King, and although it's not a contest, Stephen King is winning with 48 books compared to John Grisham's 30 books. Stephen Colbert did say that "The Racketeer" is a great book. John Grisham said, "It's brilliant." Even though neither man is a comedian, the discussion seemed to generate more than the usual amount of laughter from the audience.

Eat Up America

Where were you four years ago tonight? Do you remember? Well, you should. That was the night that Stephen Colbert first introduced Ben & Jerry's newest flavor in honor of Stephen. Yep, Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.

Yummy.

Starting February 15, it will now be available at Ben and Jerry Scoop Shops everywhere.

And for one day only on February 15, you can get 2 scoops for the price of 1. Dream on, America.

And for the next year, all of Stephen's proceeds from Americone Dream will go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund.

So, get off that couch and go buy some ice cream. It will taste delicious and you will be helping a great cause. Plus it will make Stephen feel good because he looks charitable and he doesn't even have to spend money to look so generous.

Special Message from Conservapedia

Mischief is afoot. I checked out Conservapedia today. (See previous post if you haven't read that yet.) On the right hand side of the Conservapedia website, under "In the News" it said this:

"Special message to the Colbert show watchers: do yourselves a favor and watch less television. Colbert and his advertisers want to make money off you, but you can accomplish some good instead by unplugging the TV. You could even pick up a Bible."

I agree with some of that special message but disagree with other parts of it. Let me explain. The only times I remember Stephen asking for money was for charities. For example, if you buy a $7.50 WRISTSTRONG Bracelet, $5.00 will be donated to The Yellow Ribbon Fund. (Okay, so he advertises some pharmaceuticals, but isn't that the American way to get rich? I mean, it's practically in the Constitution.) So he's not trying to make money off of people, he's supporting our troops.

But take for example on Pat Robertson's 700 Club website, he asks for as much as $834 each and every month! And you do not even get a bracelet!

I do thank Conservapedia for suggesting that people unplug their TV. If we all do that when we are not watching The Colbert Report, or something else such as Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, it would save a little bit of electricity and all that little bit adds up to help stop global warming. So a Tip of the Hat to Conservapedia for their concern about Global Warming.

And I like that they are telling people to pick up a Bible. Again, it's these small things that can make a difference. Pick it up, put it down. Do this for 20 repetitions each day and you will see improvement in your arm muscles.

But here is one of my complaints. On their Pat Robertson page, they talk about his run for the presidency. But do they even mention that Stephen also ran for president? No. Just because Pat stayed in the race longer and raised more money and had more votes, they consider it to be more pertinent. Well, when did being pertinent ever pertain to things that are important or relevant?

How would the election have turned out for either of these two men if they had stayed in the race all the way to election day? We can never know how the elections of 1988, 1992, or 2008 would have turned out. But here is a good indicator. Pat Robertson's page on Conservapedia shows only 9,180 hits while Stephen Colbert's page on Conservapedia shows 95,815 hits. It 's pretty clear from those statistics who would have had a better chance at winning the election. Never mind that they didn't even run in the same years.

But all in all, it is nice of Conservapedia to recognize Stephen Colbert. I think they may actually be giving Stephen that famous Colbert Bump!