They Wear Denim

Sad news that Stephen reported last night. He had to, and this was hard for him to say, ride the bus to work. There were members of the public, people, also on the bus. And they were wearing denim, lots of denim.Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon.

Stephen had a Tip of the Finger, no a Wag of the Hat, no, it was either a Tip of the Hat or a Wag of the Finger for Memoto. That's a small camera that you can wear on your person. It takes a photo every 30 seconds. Wow. This is great. I can't believe humans have evolved as much as they have without this clever device before. Your life in pictures, everything you do all day long. And hey, don't worry about someone else taking photos that seem somewhat invasive of other people's privacy. It says on their website not to take inappropriate pictures, so problem solved.

Stephen did note that if he had had this Memoto earlier this year, he could have captured the beginning and the end of Tim Pawlenty's presidential election in two pictures.

Here's something that pundits have been talking about since Mitt Romney started running for president. I don't have that exact date that Mitt Romney started running for president, but that isn't important here. What is important is whether or not Mitt's Mormon religion will turn some voters away.

Luckily, Billy Graham stepped up to the plate at just the right moment. Whereas Mormons used to be on Billy Graham's Cult List, the Mormon religion or Latter Day Saints, has been removed recently and they are no longer a Cult in Billy Graham's humble opinion. Stephen called this a miracle. Billy Graham is now pledging to do all he can to help Romney.

David Byrne and St. Vincent were the guests last night. They had a lively discussion, with Stephen happy to point out the vast difference in the age of those two. So, it's not as if he called David Byrne old. I would imagine you might just say he is youth-challenged. One of the first thing the three of them did was to figure out a way to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Sandy. It was a very interesting approach, partly because the hurricane caused the predicament that would then become the means of raising money. That Stephen Colbert has such great ideas.

Stephen asked both of them if being artists and musicians made them feel like they missed out on the opportunity to be ordinary. But both David Byrne and St. Vincent, or Annie as Stephen called her, claimed to believe that they were just ordinary folk.

Finally, time for some music. And as usual some bonus music on the web at Colbert Nation.

Always a Bridesmaid

Poor Tim Pawlenty, always a bridesmaid, never a bride. How could Stephen's pick for Vice President not be the pick of Mitt Romney? I cried all night. I Googled Paul Ryan and found this about the new Vice President candidate. Surely Tim Pawlenty would have been a better choice. He's got a better score over at PoltiFact that Paul Ryan does. Why, almost half of what Pawlenty has said recently, almost Half, of the statements are true or mostly true.

I'm going to have to buy me some Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream and just sit and console myself. Was it something Timmy said? Was it that whole Shooting Sparks comment? Did that scare Romney away from choosing Pawlenty? We'll probably never know.

Quick Get In The Car

There has been a lot of food in the news lately and not always in a food sort of way. (Chicken comes to mind!) Here's more food related stuff. Papa John's Pizza may end up costing us up to 14 cents more because of the improvements in health care as a result of the Affordable Care Act, you know, Obamacare.

And then there's pills that have potato batteries built into them and your skin patch sends a message to your smart phone and then every one of your friends know your pills are working. (I wonder if I got that right. It sounds a bit confusing now that I read it back. hmph.)

Stephen has better products made by Prescott Pharmaceuticals. For example, you can get Facelift Bungee for $25, but for a mere $24, you can get something just as good from Prescott. It's the Vacsa Strap - a prescription strength adhesive celluloid ribbon, undetectable at a range of 50 meters or more. Stephen demonstrated it. For sure he looked different, whether or not he looked younger is a not as certain. One thing I know for sure though, I really wanted to see him take that thing off! Unfortunately, he did it during the commercial break, so only the studio audience got to see.

More food again. Cheerios, that tasty oat cereal made by General Mills. (Ooh, there' recipes at their website. Yum.) It seems they are welcoming and inclusive of folks. This got Michael Leisner mad. He only wants to be accepting of some people, not all people, so his bright idea was to set some Cheerios on fire in front of General Mills in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Good idea. After all, what could possibly go wrong? Here's some info about the video and the man.

And here's the video, at least for now.

As a side note, when I looked at this page with the Michael Leisner video, up in the top left hand corner was a photo of Tim Pawlenty and this link to another story: T-Paw's Wikipedia on lockdown thanks to Colbert. Well, what did Stephen expect? Oh, right, he did expect that.

Liza Mundy was the guest on the show. Her latest book (half of which seems to be on the front cover) is "The Richer Sex, How the New Majority of Female Breadwinners Is Transforming Sex, Love and Family." You can read about the book over at New York Times. Both Liza and Stephen had interesting questions and interesting observations. We will have to wait until the future gets here to decide if this is a good thing.

Hardware Stuff

(Note: I just updated We Mars'd It, so be sure to read the next post also.)

In his continuing Stephen Colbefrajilympic Expealacoverage '012, Stephen saluted the Olympic spirit and paid tribute to our patriotic team members. Stand proud, team members, stand proud.

And on to politics. We got to follow along in that reporter(s) followed along while Mitt Romney did some everyday, normal Joe, run of the mill shopping errands. He went to the Hardware store and bought hardware stuff. He went to the grocery store and bought, well probably grocery stuff. This of course naturally leads to a discussion of possible Vice President picks. The way to know who it will be is Wikipedia. Just see which candidate had the most updates on Wikipedia and that will be the VP pick. We know this is true because back when John McCain went all mavericky and picked Sarah Palin, her Wikipedia page had been updated about 68 times the previous day.

Can you guess what comes next? Of course. Stephen encouraged everyone to update the Wikipedia page of their favorite candidate for Mitt Romney's running mate. He demonstrated with the Wikipedia page of friend of the show Tim "T Paw" Pawlenty of Minnesota. The updates were quite interesting, however, I looked at the Wikipedia page for Tim Pawlenty and I did not see the changes. Either Wikipedia already scrubbed the updates that Stephen did, or Stephen did not press the correct Wiki Wiki button after he made the changes. But anyway, go update your favorite potential candidate, whether it be Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Marc Rubio, Rob Portman, or Rafalca. I guess, in a way, members of the Colbert Nation just might be the ones to pick Mitt Romney's running mate. I can hardly wait!

Animal rights issues are important to almost everyone, but not to Congressman Steve King of Iowa. We got to hear examples of Congressman Steve King talking about what dogs should and should not do.

We also got to hear Congressman King talk about this possible scenario: A sexual predator impregnates a 13 year-old girl, picks her up at the playground of her middle school, hauls her across state line to have an abortion and brings her back to the swing set. According to him, that's not against the law in the United States of America.

Luckily, Stephen Colbert has people off stage who talk to him during the show. "What? What? I'm being told that all of that is against the law." Stephen then explained situations that illustrate his understanding of what Congressman Steve King said. Stephen has such a way with words.

Stephen's guest was Mark A. Shriver, who talked about his dad Sargent Shriver, and the book he wrote about his dad. "A Good Man, Rediscovering My Father, Sargent Shriver" is the book. Sargent Shriver had quite the resume. Peace Corps, Head Start, Job Corp, VISTA, and Legal Services.

With Pete Seeger on Monday, and Sargent Shriver's son Mark on, it is starting to seem like Liberal Week over at the Colbert Report. But, since Stephen is a Conservative, that just shows that he is fair and willing to listen to both sides.

Decision of a Lifetime

I'm almost too excited to write about anything tonight. Tomorrow night there will be a major announcement, and by major announcement, I mean Major Announcement! Stephen reported that in Public Policy Polling of 1,112 likely GOP voters in the South Carolina GOP Primary, Jon Huntsman would get 4% of the vote, but Stephen Colbert would get 5% of the vote! And if you remember how excited Jon Huntsman was to come in at third place up in New Hampshire, well just imagine how excited Stephen would be to come in even better than Jon Huntsman. It's a good thing people like Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, and Herman Cain aren't hanging around the GOP tent any more. They would have no chance against Stephen Colbert in the South Carolina GOP Primary.

Oh, wait. I'm getting way ahead of everyone. There hasn't even been an announcement yet.

Tune in tomorrow to see what the Major Announcement is.

So, the show tonight. Well, Stephen talked about Mitt Romney. There's no fireworks with Mitt. Sort of like an arranged marriage. And then Andy Cohen (not to be confused with Andy Schlafly) stopped by to chat with Stephen about Mitt. (Mitt's good. But not great.)

And then Stephen talked a little bit about Phobos-Grunt spacecraft. Not that important, other than the fact that it's coming down this weekend. It will probably come down to earth west of Indonesia, but maybe not. If I am reading this map correctly, it could also come down in North America, South America, Africa, Europe, India, China, Australia or a few other places. Antarctica looks relatively safe and Russia seems to be in a good spot. But, not to worry, it will mostly burn up upon re-entry.

George Stephanopoulus was the guest tonight and showed his good manners by bringing Stephen a bottle containing a beverage so that they could each have a sip. George wished Stephen good luck in the South Carolina Primary. The two of them discussed politics some more with Stephen wondering what would happen if Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden were to change places. Well, George told Stephen the three places where that idea was not being discussed: Clinton's office, Biden's office and Obama's office.

Remember to tune in tomorrow for the Major Announcement.

Climate Reality Project

http://climaterealityproject.org/the-event/

More about that link in a little bit. Tonight's show was, of course, good. You should really go over to Colbert Nation and watch the full episode online. I can't do it justice unless I would just print a full transcript of the program. But that won't do it justice either because you wouldn't see facial expressions and all the graphics and video footage on the show.

So here's just a little bit about tonight's show. Stephen apparently agrees with me that Tim Pawlenty is pinning his hopes on being Mitt Romney's running mate. Stephen even showed the two of them walking together somewhere and yes, Pawlenty looks like he's just been invited to the prom.

Paul Krugman was on for a short interview and Stephen had to remind him that children might be watching the show. And when it started to get a little bit politically incorrect (at least in Stephen's imagination), Krugman said "Steve Jobs is Esther Williams."

Bobby Jindal has endorsed Rick Parry, which makes perfect sense because big old Texas is right next to little old Louisiana and we all know Rick Parry has 234 notches on his belt.

Poor Ron Paul, waiting for some kind of endorsement, finally got one and Stephen showed the video of that endorsement.

And then the special guest for the night was Al Gore. They talked about global warming. And although Stephen thinks there's no proof, Gore stated that 97% to 98% of the scientists around the world working in all the various fields related to climate agree that yes it is a problem and we should be fixing it.

Also, if you watch online, you can hear Stephen ask "Al Gore", after a comment Al Gore made about Stephen, "What the heck are you talking about, sir?"

And so the link to Climate Reality Project. Visit soon and watch.

Note: Stephen did not actually say heck.

Miracle Whip Endorses Mayonnaise

Former Presidential Hopeful and Friend of the Show Tim Pawlenty is now endorsing Mitt Romney.

"There's one candidate in this race who's unmatched in his skills and experience and talent when it comes to turning around this economy and growing jobs and that's Mitt Romney and I'm proud and I'm excited to endorse him for president of the United States," said Pawlenty.

"This is huge for Romney," Colbert tells us because they (Romney and Pawlenty) used to be bitter rivals.

And it means a new gig for Pawlenty, as he has become the national co-chair for Romney's campaign. (Balloons should fall from the ceiling now, but I don't have any balloons, so use your imagination!)

Oh, yeah, someone's running for Vice President!

But the big story tonight is that it is Too Hot to Fish. That's right, in Athens, Georgia it is too hot to fish. Pulitzer contender Wayne Ford did the research, checked the sources and scooped everyone else to find out that it is too hot to fish. We can all sleep a lot better tonight knowing this.

Diane Sawyer was the guest tonight. She has a special on abc News on Tuesday, September 13, "Jacqueline Kennedy in her own words." It should be quite interesting. Jacqueline Kennedy is "historically accurate" when talking about various well known people of the day. That's another way of saying she said exactly what she thought of the people.

It reminds me of Pawlenty back in the day when he was criticizing Romney. So, how's that working out for him? Oh, yeah. Quite well actually.

I Thought About Shooting Sparks Out My Butt

Tim Pawlenty was on The Colbert Report tonight. (Now I understand why Jon Stewart falls asleep when he's talking about Pawlenty.) He seemed more ill at ease than most guests on the show. And I think his comment about sparks was a little bit, well, creepy, at least for someone who wanted to run for president. It might not be out of character for Charlie Sheen though. (Concentrate. Don't imagine what Pawlenty would look like. Darn, I don't have the will-power like Stephen does to block that image of sparks and Pawlenty from my imagination.)

In the Ames Straw Poll, which is such a tiny, teeny tiny, number of people who vote, Tim Pawlenty came in third. Ron Paul came in second and nobody is talking about him. Rick Parry, who wasn't even on the ballot, came in sixth and everyone is talking about him. So, the Ames Straw Poll shouldn't be construed to mean that much. But people apparently like to start making predictions already, based on not very much information.

So, now here I go making a prediction based on not very much information. (Oh, don't worry, I do this all the time. I'm usually wrong.) I think part of the reason Tim Pawlenty dropped out was so that he didn't have to criticize any of the other candidates any more. Now, when someone is finally chosen to run for President, Pawlenty is hoping that they will think of him for the running mate. He was supposed to be picked instead of Sarah Palin back when John McCain was running against Obama (That One). Word is Pawlenty was just sitting around by his phone waiting and waiting for McCain to call him. So, he probably figures the second time is the charm.

The most important part of the show was unfortunately, just after the show, so we did not get to see it. Stephen was just putting on the very special Prescott Orthopedics Placebo-cizers toning shoes. And this even after the American Council on Exercise claims that the claim that toning shoes help tone your body has no validity. The toning shoes do not offer any benefits.

So, I would have loved to have watched Stephen walking in those shoes. The left shoe had a 6-inch stiletto heel and the right shoe had a patented cinderblock glued to the bottom of it. Oh, yes, it would have been interesting to watch Stephen walk about in those shoes. I'm sure all the audience members got to see him walk. And I would bet that he did a fairly decent job of walking in the rather unique shoes.

U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice

Yes, another rerun. This time it's that episode after the Iowa Straw Poll - the one with Tim Pawlenty's TV ad from after he dropped out of the presidential race: Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing. So you can just read that post again if you want.

Also Susan Rice, the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations was on this episode. Here's that link again for lots of info about the United Nations. And here's something fun for all of you. Go to that link, then under "the BRIEFING ROOM" click on Photo Gallery. Now, it is possible the photos could change when you look, but I found a very familiar face in photo number 1. I'm not saying who it is, but I'm pretty sure you will recognize the person sitting at a table with Ambassador Susan Rice. And I think it goes to show what is really important to the people at the U.N.

And a reminder from Stephen. Text AID to 27722 which gives $10 directly to the U.N.'s World Food Program.

Spiders in Your Hair

Yes, yes I know. Stephen is on vacation. But yet, through the miracle of reruns, he also is on The Colbert Report. It was the episode I wrote about in "Most Boring Addiction." That was back when Tim Pawlenty was still a presidential hopeful. Now he's just an ordinary citizen like you or me. Only difference is that he will be analyzed from now until the election is held in November of 2012. Already this appeared in his hometown newspaper, the Star Tribune, detailing what went wrong. It's an opinion piece by Lori Sturdevant: Pawlenty's Compromises but it seems to me to be not so much about compromises as shifts and changes or even, dare I say it (?), flip-flops. What if, indeed!

Stephen also talked about the Colbert Super PAC and even composed an email, while doing the show, to his Super PAC members as follows:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Subject: Spiders in Your Hair

Dear Future Victims,

They're doing it again and we have only seconds to stop them before you, your pets, and everyone you love could experience whatever it is you are most afraid of. And don't forget, earlier I used the phrase "spiders in your hair." Send me $25 right now to make a difference or send me $100 to make four differences. Or just let the bad guys win. Your choice. QUICK, LOOK BEHIND YOU.

Stephen Colbert
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I think that is Stephen's subtle way to remind everyone to send money to the Colbert Super PAC. Perhaps that's not really very subtle. I'll have to look up the definition of subtle. Maybe blatant would be the better word choice.

Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing

I did it! I predicted what Stephen would talk about on his show.

Okay, pretty much a no-brainer. The big news was the Straw Poll in Ames, Iowa, so naturally that's what Stephen went with. But my prediction was better than the AP, who apparently gave a lot of kudos to candidate XXX in one of their news stories.

Previously I had hoped there would be some analysis of the relationship between popular food and votes and to some extent, Stephen did have some number crunching concerning the delicious happenings in Ames. Michele Bachmann handed out 6,000 tickets at a cost of $180,000 to her campaign and by doing so was able to get 80% of the votes she paid for.

The Big Loser was Tim Pawlenty and Stephen did have his ground-breaking and inspirational video: Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing. And now everyone is wondering what Stephen is wondering. Who will get Pawlenty's supporter?

Of course none of this matters much compared to the Colbert Super PAC. It stole the show out in the middle of the state that is in the middle of the country. Texas Governor Rick Perry got 719 write-in votes and all of them were spelled Parry. Actually, technically, no one knows since the Iowa GOP won't release that information. So, Stephen has issued a challenge to WOI news team in Des Moines to dig deep and uncover the truth. If they find out, they can broadcast on The Colbert Report or Stephen will broadcast on their show.

Incentive? You betcha!

Stephen had a great guest on tonight. Ambassador Susan Rice, no relation to Condoleezza Rice, is the US Permanent Representative to the United Nations. Stephen kept trying to trip her up but she held her own and was able to do most of the talking. In fact, it was so good, it apparently ran over, at least Stephen said it did, and so he's putting the whole interview up on the web, just like Jon Stewart often does. However, we don't really know if it ran longer than the show because if it did, we did not see it. Sounds to me like it could just be a trick to get us to visit Colbert Nation to find out whether or not it ran too long.

The good thing is that even though the show apparently ran long, Stephen still had time to tell us how to help with the famine in Somalia, where millions of people, many of whom are children, are at risk of starvation.

Just text AID to 27722.

Hot Dogs, Get Your Free Hot Dogs

Well, the Fundraising Dinner for the Iowa Republican Party held in Ames, i.e. the Iowa Straw Poll is over and Michele Bachmann won.

Tim Pawlenty is out.

In what was actually a large picnic with free food and free tickets, the person who did the best job of providing really tasty food got the most votes. I wonder if anyone served my recipe for Holy Smoke Satan Sandwiches. It sure seemed like a natural fit, but I was not able to travel to Ames, Iowa for the Iowa Straw Poll, so I don't know.

It would be interesting to have another poll, maybe at the Iowa State Fair, to see what is the most popular summer picnic food. Then have someone do analysis to see if in fact the candidate who serves the most popular food also ends up the Winner of Straw.

My hope is that Stephen will talk about the Iowa Straw Poll, or Tim Pawlenty, or Michele Bachmann tonight on The Colbert Report so that I can finally feel like I predicted what he would talk about "in the future". But, I have found that predicting Stephen's behavior is not as easy as it would seem.

In closing, here's some numbers I got from reliable sources on the Internets.

4,823 - Number of votes Michele Bachmann received on August 13
311,995,173 - Population of USA today
$400 - Cost for a week of camp with Hot Dog USA Jump Rope Team
62 - number of restaurants in Ames listed here

Most Boring Addiction

Last night's show had so much stuff on I don't know where to start. So I won't.

He talked about donor addicts - people who keep donating money to candidates. The Washington Post had this:

"I'm trying to restrain myself," said a donor who in recent months has given to ... Tim Pawlenty 11 times.

- Anonymous Pawlenty Donor
August 2, 2011

And that's when Stephen claimed that was the most boring addiction.

He also had a guy on to talk about a really strange way to pick a president. I did not pay attention because as Stephen pointed out, he did not have an Emmy.

Actually, I'm just so very busy and can't post a whole bunch. But you know the drill. You can catch it all online over at Colbert Nation.

More time next week, I promise.

Marshmallow Test

Well first of all, you need to go watch The Colbert Report over at Colbert Nation if you did not see tonight's Report. I could tell you all about the Marshmallow Test, but I can't do justice to Stephen's explanation and demonstration. It's funny and worth watching.

Some of the Republicans running for President for 2012 were at a debate Monday night, so Stephen talked about that. One of the first things they all did was brag about how many kids they have. One of the candidates figured out a very long time ago that she was going to need lots of kids. Michele Bachmann can't say three sentences to anybody before she brings up those 23 foster children that she raised. Perhaps Stephen could find out the details on that, because no one else seems to be able to find out any details. Did she raise them from cradle to graduation? Or did she have them for a weekend? Inquiring minds want to know.

Ah, but then Stephen got started on the subject of Tim Pawlenty. He called T Paw a Boiled Noodle! And then he said Pawlenty's campaign was soaring like a chicken tossed off a barn. You may have heard Pawlenty's made-up word - Obamneycare. Earlier Pawlenty had criticized Romney, but now when the guy was just a few feet away, Pawlenty backed off completely.

And this got Stephen going even more! "I want to know how the Minnesota health plan keeps Tim Pawlenty alive without a spine."

Anyway, Stephen also had a clip with Pawlenty talking about his plans to pay for his tax cuts. It's called the "Google Test". "If you can find a service or a good available on Google or the internet then the Federal Government probably doesn't need to be providing that good or service."

Here's the catch. (And I must admit that I have heard other people also say this, but Stephen was the first one to do so on The Colbert Report.) "I can Google Tim Pawlenty and if I can Google Tim Pawlenty that means he's absolutely unnecessary in government."

Wow. Wowie. Sounds like T Paw Googled himself right out of the Presidential Race. Oops.

Stephen had an interesting guest on tonight - Janny Scott. She is an author and wrote the book "A Singular Woman, the Untold Story of Barack Obama's mother." Go buy the book and read it.

Good and Pawlenty

As you all know, Stephen is out to sea. So, I'll fill in with tidbits of this and that while he is out of the studio.

This was funny. On the day that Tim Pawlenty, former Governor of Minnesota, finally came out of the "running for president" closet, one of the home town papers, the Star Tribune had this cartoon by Steve Sack.

The thing is, that's one of my favorite candy choices. Good and Plenty candies are pink and white candy-coated licorice. Sweet on the outside, chewy on the inside.

Anyway, the No-Doz reference is hinting at (quite pointedly) that you need something to keep you from falling asleep when listening to Tim Pawlenty.

Some of you may remember that Michele Bachmann, Congresswoman from Minnesota, is also thinking about running for president, but she's waiting until all the "signs" are right before she decides.

So, for Minnesotans, this could be awkward. Perhaps it will end up being just like the Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat.

Colbert Trumps Trump

I'm not much of a card player, so I hope I'm using that verb correctly. As some of you may recall, back on October 9, 2009, I had a post about Conservapedia entitled Special Message from Conservapedia where I suggested that Conservapedia had given Stephen Colbert the famous Colbert Bump. I also mentioned that Pat Robertson had 9,180 hits on his page while Stephen Colbert had 95,815 hits on his page.

Today I decided to see how those numbers have changed. Pat Robertson has increased his numbers to 13,443 while Stephen is now at 176,176! Wow, I think Conservapedia really did give Stephen the Colbert Bump.

Then I decided to check out a few other people. First I searched for Newt, but all I got was this short article:

"Newt are amphibians with four legs, and a tail. They are outwardly similar to lizards, despite being members of a different class of the animal kingdom - like lizards, they can regenerate limbs, but unlike lizards, they have soft slimy skin instead of scales."

Well that seemed strange, so then I searched for Newt Gingrich and then I found the guy who is going to run for the GOP nomination for president. If you don't remember him, he's the guy who loves his wife so much that he's had three of them so far. Anyway, his page has been accessed 15,531 times.

Then I looked for Tim Pawlenty, the old T Paw, and found that his page has been accessed 4,380 times. For Sarah Palin, (wow, they had almost a book on her page) there were 1,005,585 hits for that page. For Michele Bachmann, the number stands at 69,171. And for The Donald (Donald Trump, not Donald Pellview) the grand total is 5,711 times.

A few more names and numbers: Ron Paul is at 42,590. OMG, Barack Obama is so popular on Conservapedia that 2,204,356 people have looked at his page. I guess conservatives must like Obama as much as liberals do. Interesting. Mitt Romney is at 32,200 times that his page has been accessed. Mike Huckabee has 31,561 for his number.

I don't know that any of those number mean anything especially important, it's just interesting on a rainy day to do a little Conservative reading. If you want to get your own Colbert Bump, you can read about Stephen Colbert on Conservapedia here.

You Be the Judge

Did you know that you can read the actual FEC Advisory Opinion Request for Stephen that was written by Trevor Potter, Joseph M. Birkenstock and Matthew T. Sanderson of Caplin & Drysdale, Chtd?

That's right, just go to Stephen's SuperPAC and click on the gray box that says VIEW Stephen's FEC Advisory Opinion Request. It's only eight pages and you can skip all the footnotes, so it wont' take very long to read.

Apparently the idea for the PAC and then the SuperPAC came to Stephen after seeing (former) Governor Tim Pawlenty's (yawn) dynamic, almost wrestling mania type of commercial that Pawlenty (yawn) used to hint at the possibility of thinking about considering perhaps running for office, maybe even President.

Stephen Colbert's request seems like a good idea to me. And after reading the letter from the lawyers, I think I would agree with everything that Stephen is asking for. Yep, my opinion is go for it!

What do you think?

Stephen Colbert Meet King Tut

Well, it would seem that it might be a week off for Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report. So that leads me to wonder where he is and what he is doing. He might just be staying home, growing a beard and being a couch potato while eating lots of Doritos.

Or, he might be searching for answers to some of the questions of the Universe. If you are a regular viewer, you know that occasionally, Stephen will talk about King Tut, or Tutankhamun. There is the possibility that Stephen is In St. Paul at The Science Museum of Minnesota where Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs is now on exhibit.

I recently had the chance to be in St. Paul, Minnesota. (No, I was not visiting Tim Pawlenty or Michele Bachmann. Neither of them actually spend much time in Minnesota.) It really doesn't matter why I was there. The important thing is that I did go to the "Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs" exhibit at the Science Museum of Minnesota. It was pretty neat. I waited in line for my ticket time with about 30 other people. Then, a recording by Harrison Ford (you know - Indiana Jones) gave a brief introduction about the exhibit and then the doors to the exhibit opened and we all went in. After that, we could walk at our own pace and look at all the artifacts and statues.

I am quite sure that Stephen would be thrilled to see everything in the "Tutankhaman and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs" exhibit in St. Paul, so maybe he is in St. Paul. (If not, this review of the exhibit might entice him to go see the boy pharaoh.)

However, there is also Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs exhibit open right now in Melbourne, Australia. That's right! Maybe Stephen is in Australia. The exhibit is at the Melbourne Museum until November 6, 2011. You can view a preview of that exhibit at the Melbourne link with a little bit of news coverage and then the promotional part narrated by Omar Sharif.

And for those of you who miss out on those two cities, there is also Houston, Texas exhibit running from October 16, 2011 through April 15, 2012.

I just need to warn Stephen about something. "It" is missing. Sorry. What can you expect after all these years?

And now to end on a musical note, here's a link to Friend of the Show Steve Martin with his tribute to King Tut on Saturday Night Live. (Short commercial and then the video will play.)

I think we can all agree that Stephen Colbert will be as famous in the year 5011 as King Tut is now in 2011.

Much Less Desirable Candidate

Again, in an attempt to try to gain more viewers from the state of Minnesota, Stephen talked (briefly) about the Ol' T Paw, Tim Pawlenty. Apparently, Tim Pawlenty said on CNN, and I quote, "I'm running for President."

His campaign immediately tried to backtrack by saying that CNN reported the full quote out of context. Funny, because CNN showed video Tim Pawlenty saying it. It's not as if they edited and spliced and cut out parts of the conversation. They said there will be a formal announcement later this spring.

And yet, if there's uncertainty about whether or not he is running, then why does he have a campaign staffer? (See Benjamin Foster.) Anyway, after this "I'm running (flip) I'm not running (flop), Stephen has declared Tim Pawlenty to be a "Much Less Desirable Candidate."

Perhaps this would be a good time to remind Stephen that he can still decide to run again for president. I think Colbert could afford the money to run as a Republican. What is it, $5,000 or so?

Moving on.

Stephen had a whole segment on the marketing of beauty products to women. First you invent a need, then you manufacture the product. Latest company in that endeavor is Dove. They are trying to convince women that their armpits are ugly. And then, after only 5 days of using their deodorant, voila, they have beautiful armpits.

I'm not making that up. sheesh.

Of course, if you go to Colbert Nation and watch the show, you will see Stephen smear Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream Ice Cream on Veronica's armpit. You try having Ice Cream smeared on your armpit and keep smiling all the time. That is talent!

There was other good stuff on the show, including guest Morgan Spurlock to talk about product placement, but as soon as it was over, I headed for the kitchen cupboard. I don't know why, but I just had an overwhelming desire to eat some Doritos.

Awkward

Remember when Stephen was talking about Tim Pawlenty? (Also called TimMAY, Timbo, T Paw, and the Ol' T Paw.) Well it seems one of Pawlenty's first campaign decisions has turned out to be somewhat awkward. One of his aides in Iowa, Benjamin Foster, was arrested on charges of public intoxication and trespassing.

You can read about it here at CNN Politics - political ticker.

Also here at The Gazette, a Cedar Rapids, Iowa paper.

One more here at Pawlenty's home town paper - StarTribune.

Although Tim Pawlenty comes across as quite a boring person, it seems his staffer sure knows how to Par-ty.

Perhaps Benjamin Foster needs some "proper etiquette" training. Stephen is just the person to provide that service.

Update: Spelling of Ankeny in Iowa has been corrected. Thank you to An Iowan in Comments.