P.K. Winsome

I guess the whole "end is in sight" of the The Colbert Report is really affecting me. I try to continue on normally as if nothing is going to change. But I'm sad. So sad I can barely write anything. Woe is me.

Last night Stephen was honored to have P.K. Winsome on the show - maybe for the last time. But it got me to thinking. What could the future hold for all of us? Well not for Stephen, he's got that pretty well figured out.

All those people that work for and with Stephen. All those guests. All those experts that he has had on the show. And all those interns. I'm looking at you, Jay.

My mind just starts whirring and whirling. Perhaps we are seeing hints of future shows for this time slot. Here's one idea. It's free, Stephen, so run with it.

Hire P.K. Winsome to have sort of a shopping/auction/charity show. All that stuff on the set, all those awards, all of that memorabilia, needs to go somewhere. Auction it off! Every night (Monday through Thursday) P. K. Winsome can have a guest on and the two of them will talk about two or three items from the set of The Colbert Report. Fans of the show can bid on the items. The revenue can go to one or some of Stephen's favorite charities, or it could go to Jay the Intern who has worked for all these many years as an unpaid employee.

What do you think?

Just Kidding, But Seriously

Stephen is counting down which saddens me. He's at 79 last time I looked. It's depressing to think that one day there will be a bunch of stuff to report but no Report. Sigh.

Perhaps that is why his guest on last Thursday was Jay Carney, someone who is stepping down from his job. Is it to get us used to the idea that we will have to get our news information from a different source in the White House and soon on Comedy Central?

Unless Comedy Central comes up with another news show, that will leave us with only 30 minutes a night (Monday through Thursday, check your local listings) of news from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. The 24 hour news stations could learn something from Comedy Central. Yes, "Comedy" is in their name and yet they are able to devote some time to breaking news stories. You'd think the big news corporations would see the value of diversification and perhaps have a half hour per night of comedy. Seems only fair to me.

Special message from me to Jay the Intern. "Yo."

Good luck to Josh Earnest.

Speaking of Fossils

The Sochi Olympics are in full swing so I won't be having as much spare time as usual. I am too busy watching the sports and the fashion and the spectacle. I hope Stephen does not think that I think less of his show than I do of a bunch of people in tights dancing and prancing around on ice and snow.

So, in brief.... Papa Bear interviewed Prez Barack (I am using abbreviated names there to save time. I mean Bill O'Reilly and President Barack Obama in case there are some of you out there who do not know who I am referring to.) Papa Bear asked hard questions and then went on to answer the questions himself.

At the Olympics in Sochi, there is a bit of a problem with yogurt. Chobani Yogurt is being delayed from reaching the Team USA athletes. Not everything in Sochi is done being built. Water problems, sidewalk problems, stray dog in your hotel room problems are just some of the examples we heard about. The most worrisome problem that Stephen mentioned was that some manholes do not have manhole covers on them.

In Tip/Wag we learned that it is extremely important to have labels on your bottles of liquid.

Paul Krugman was Stephen's guest to explain how good ObamaCare (Affordable Care Act or ACA) is really actually working well. People shouldn't be believing all the naysayers out there. Stephen tried to come up with naysaying, including talking about some of the women he knows who might have reasons for wanting health insurance coverage, but Paul Krugman had very good reasons why ObamaCare is a good thing.

He also had to clarify for Stephen and us what others have distorted over and over again. The CBO did not say ObamaCare will kill jobs. The CBO said now that people have the health care that they need, the can voluntarily choose to work fewer hours.

Most important on Thursday's show was the announcement that Jay the Intern has welcomed a little intern to his own family, Baby Eli the Intern. So cute!

It's James, I Grew Up in Seattle

Net Neutrality. I'm not sure whether I'm for it or against it. I guess I'm kind of on the fence. Stephen had Tim Wu, author of "The Master Switch - The Rise and Fall of Information Empires," on to talk about it. And he claims to have coined the phrase Net Neutrality. As seems to happen over and over again, free speech is all about the money.

"The Banquet." Yes, it makes you look forward to a great meal, but over in China, "The Banquet" is basically a complete ripoff (paraphrase of what Stephen said) of The Colbert Report. Well, it's in Chinese, and it's about eggs, which is funny. But while you might think Stephen would be very upset, he is actually quite pleased. "Only the biggest hits get Chinese bootlegged!"

In order to try to gain the favor and adoration of the large audience in China, Stephen (again) fired Jay the Intern and brought out his new intern JaMes who seems to be Chinese. He offered to get coffee for Stephen, but Stephen asked for tea, by which he meant coffee. Poor Jay. He works so hard and all he ever gets is the short end of the deal.

Anyway, Stephen demanded that he be invited to be on the show "The Banquet." Who knows? It could happen.

Stephen's real guest, (not that Tim Wu is not real, but he was on in the first part of the show and so not so much the guest as just someone Stephen talked to), was Patricia A. Churchland. Her latest book is "Touching a Nerve: The Self as Brain." Is it possible that we are not so much a product of our environment and upbringing, but rather the result of electrical and chemical stuff going on in our brains? To illustrate that possibility, she and Stephen had a wonderful discussion about different kinds of voles from which Stephen deduced that the Prairie Vole is a Christian. I'm not sure that's where Patricia A. Churchland was going with her book, but, hey Stephen is entitled to say what he wants since it is his show.

Yippee! Look at What We Get To Do!

I happened upon this news story today about Stephen and his Dance Extravaganza. Why are people surprised that it became an Internet Hit and went viral? And why would they call it tongue-in-cheek? Anything Stephen does immediately becomes a hit or newsworthy or groundbreaking. No one should have been surprised.

So go take a look if you want some more background. Hear Stephen talk about getting people to play with him. We find out that when Daft Punk agreed to be on the show, they wouldn't really do anything, just show up. They wouldn't talk and they wouldn't perform. Sheesh. Jay the Intern does more than that every time he shows up.

You're Here, You're Clear

Finally I get a chance to get to my computer. I have been stuck in Moscow, in the airport for days, riding the escalators and people watching. I was starting to get kind of bored.

Now I'm home and Stephen is on a two week break. That's okay, it gives me a chance to get caught up. Too bad I wasn't paying more attention when I was over in Moscow. It seems that Edward Snowden was or is at the Moscow airport. It would have been great to get a few photos of him, maybe get an interview that I could post here. I guess the airport is just too big and it's hard to keep track of everyone who is there.

Anyway, Stephen was concerned about the whereabouts of Edward Snowden and just a bit confused about what he looks like. For a short time, he was ready to believe that Jay the Intern was in reality Edward the Snowden (i.e. a white guy with glasses). Until Jay the Intern pointed out to Stephen that first of all, "No, I'm Jay," and secondly that he (Stephen) was also a white guy with glasses. Quick thinking, Jay.

In news that's happening, the Tea Party is unhappy. I should clarify since no one seems to know exactly what or who the Tea Party is. A bunch of people showed up to vent anger, and considering the amount of hot dogs and beans being eaten, to vent a lot of other stuff. They are mad at the IRS. Luckily, Michele Bachmann was there to tell them, "You're Here. And you're Clear. With your message." Stephen added that "if you happen to be queer my husband runs a camp that can cure you with Jesus."

Darrell Issa, apparently one of the richest Congressmen as evidenced by all the extra letters in his name, is one of the people heading the charge for the Tea Party. He investigations showed that, "Certain things are true." Elijah Cummings released all pertinent information which is not what Darrell Issa wanted done. He only wanted the truth, but then Elijah Cummings had to go and release the whole truth. Darn. That showed that it was a conservative Republican at the IRS looking into the Tea Party.

Stephen, as you all know, invented truthiness. Now, with the help of a human centipede, he has invented truthinews. Simply put, the media ask the vast audience out there in TV Land or Radio Land or Internet Land what they think they know, then the media reports it back to them. It's great. For example, Bill O'Reilly has found out that 75% of the people who believe it's a good idea to watch his show, believe what he tells them. I can't help but think that number should be higher. Why would you watch the Factor if you thought it didn't have the appropriate amount of truthiness? For the comedic relief???

Andrew Solomon was the guest on Stephen's show way back on, when was that (?), June 24. Both Stephen and Andrew paid attention to the calendar and dressed appropriately for "Light Blue Shirt Yellow Tie Day." They discussed Andrew Solomon's newest book, "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity." And I know I say this about a lot of books, but this one really does seem very interesting. So, yes, go out and buy it. It's not Tek Jansen, but I think you will find it a good read just the same.

Bucket List

I have been glued to the TV, the newspapers and magazines, waiting to see if the people who brought mayhem to the Boston Marathon have been captured. Luckily, now, that seems to have been accomplished. And it's a good thing because two unlucky guys have their photos on the front cover of the New York Post. Both have bags of some sort and one of them is wearing a baseball cap. So that pretty much is all anyone needs for a description. Except that it ain't the guys. They did nothing wrong other than having a backpack or other bag and wearing a baseball cap. Perhaps more will come of this. Time will tell.

Stephen did give a Tip of the Hat to New York Post for accusing the two innocent men of a horrible crime. He mentioned that the New York Post follows those famous Four W's we all know for writing a good news story: "Who, Whatever, and Why Wait?"

If you have never been to New York City and would love to go there but need a reliable source of information, there's only been one place, so far, to get good information about the tourist havens to seek out for a good time. That one place has been Stefon. But now, Stephen has the scoop on where to go and what to do in New York City. Of course, since he is so famous, he can't really just walk around the streets of the city. Everyone would want a piece of him.

Luckily, technology is able to let Stephen walk around New York City at the same time as Stephen is sitting on the couch in his studio office. I know. That sounds impossible. But it's not. Here's how it works. Stephen puts the Ask-o-Matic on Jay the Intern and sends him out to walk the streets of New York City. Meanwhile, Stephen has a Second Bucket with an iPhone. Everyone, including red and blue furry people loved him. It allowed Stephen to steal a magazine with no consequences, talk with all the locals, eat Egyptian food, fight with Bernard when Bernard is not playing his saxophone, get a caricature drawn of himself, and visit other cultural icons of the city and participate in those cultural activities. We even got to see New Yorkers join in a wonderful song and dance number of New York New York. I might also mention that the footwear worn by New Yorkers is quite colorful. Just when I think The Colbert Report can't get any better, it surpasses all my expectations.

Stephen's guest last Thursday was Richard Engel. One might say that his job is even more difficult than Stephen's job. They both are in broadcasting, but Richard Engel is out in the field and that tends to have more challenges and even dangerous situations.

My Name is Jay

First of all, where can I buy that shirt? Stephen has renamed Jay the Intern. Is that even legal? I guess so because he did it. Jay now gets "health coverage". That's cool. And refreshing. Now Stephen needs to start marketing the shirt Jay was wearing. I would buy one. So now Jay the Intern is Halls Mentho-lyptus With Triple Soothing Action Presents Jay the Intern. Let the Cool in Jay, let the cool in.

Something that I just thought of: If for some reason Stephen was unable to do the show, could Jay fill in for him? It is a possibility, a possibility that I think the audience would truly enjoy. That intern has talent and potential in the world of broadcast news!

A new development in our Justice System involves a spinning red light and also a mysterious spinning red light. It has something to do with Gitmo and with the Cenral Inellieence Aency and I'm not saying another thing, especially out loud. Neal Katyal of Georgetown Law School was on to discuss with Stephen and they seemed to come up with the notion that this was a flaw.

John Kerry is busy visiting the world, but not Easter Island, his homeland. I can completely understand that. This has got to be the busiest time of the year on Easter Island. Jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, and fake grass all have to be made and distributed by the end of the month. This summer would be a better time to visit Easter Island. John Kerry is spreading the word around the world that Americans have the right to be stupid. That applies to each and every person in our nation. That includes John Kerry. It also includes Stephen but he never uses that right.

Paola Antonelli was Stephen's guest on Wednesday night. She is the Senior Curator, Department of Architeccture and Design for MoMA (The Museum of Modern Art). She discussed physics if you can believe that and we learned about the past, the present, the future, the moment, and being modern. It was confusing. We also learned that Stephen's coffee mug is "design" but poor design. Also discussed was iPad, which needs to come in many more sizes. She said the idea was to make everything disappear. Well then, what would they have over at the Museum of Modern Art? Oh, yeah, I know, all this stuff. We got to see some really neat designed art including bee-designed vase, a rolling land mine destroyer, and an earthquake-proof student desk.

Note to Stephen: Take the wrapper off before you eat it.

Jay the Intern

Stephen jumped right into politics and showcased Mitt Romney and his empathy for the average American worker. Recently at a fundraiser dinner in Mississippi, he said this:

"I know that people in this room are probably doing relatively well ... but not everyone in America is doing so well right now. ... The waiters and waitresses that come in and out of this room and offer us refreshments, they're not having a good year."

Sometimes people like Mitt just need to connect with the common people. Stephen has the same need to connect. He invited Jay the Intern to come out so that Jay could get some of that great Stephen Colbert sympathy. See, this really is just not good for either Mitt or Stephen. When you talk about people in front of them, especially if you are showing sympathy because you think their life is so miserable, it kind of ticks them off. Jay the Intern is doing quite well thank you very much. Other than the fact that he is paid Zero dollars each week and gets no lunch breaks. But at least he is around Stephen Colbert, so that must count for something.

Edifi. No it's not a way to use up your last five Scrabble tiles. It's a Christian tablet. No, not something you bring to Sunday School to draw on. Okay, let me explain. Stephen had a short segment about it. It's like an iPad, except it's for Christians. It's already family friendly in that there is a safe browser. It has lots of Bible translations. It's an e-reader. I'm not explaining it very well. Here's a YouTube video that shows more about it. It even comes with buttons, such as  Power and Volume. You might want to turn off the music while you watch the video. It's a bit, ummm, a bit, well, just turn it off when you watch the video.

"I'm all about formality. Anise..." A little humor there to welcome the mayor of Houston, Texas. Anise Parker was Stephen's guest. Did you know that Houston is the 4th largest city in the United States? Did you know that Mayor Anise Parker is one of the first openly gay mayors of a metropolitan center? Houston is doing quite well according to Stephen. No wonder if you listen to Mayor Anise Parker. They have jobs, good food, Johnson Space Center, jobs, large medical center, air conditioning, jobs, large port, and jobs. Sounds like a good place to visit. And obviously, lots of people live there.

Please Give Generously

Stephen reported on a story that probably should have been revealed to us on Halloween. I am not going to report on it but if you want to read about it, you can find it over at Huffington Post. It's the story about Euclid, Ohio and ghosts. That's all I'm going to say about it!

We learned yet a little bit more about Herman Cain and I imagine we will continue to learn more. Didn't Stephen invite Herman Cain to be on The Colbert Report? Now would seem to be a good time. It seems like Herman Cain could use the Colbert Bump.

The highlight of the night was when Jay the Intern came out to talk with Stephen. They do seem to get along quite well, and Stephen seems to be anxious to encourage Jay the Intern to learn new strategies for climbing to the top of the talent ladder in the news and entertainment world. Just when it was getting interesting, the station experienced "Technical Difficulties." I hate when that happens. We missed the best part. We'll never know what was in the "Agreement" that Jay signed. And by the way, now would be a great time to donate to the Colbert SuperPAC. They are getting close to their goal of more money, so donate today.

Stephen's guest tonight was Nathan Wolfe, Smarty Pants. Actually the more common title would be Microbiologist. He has a book out now, "The Viral Storm - The Dawn of a New Pandemic Age." I'm going to go out on a limb and say this doesn't sound like the type of book that you want to read while you are sitting in front of the fireplace with a hot cup of cocoa and a plate of cookies. But, it does sound like the type of book that you should read. So, wash your hands before you eat those cookies, and take a bite out of this book.