It should come as no surprise to anyone that follows the news from journalist Stephen Colbert that Stephen reported on the state of our defense in this country. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is proposing some cuts to our military spending. While some people (Elisabeth Hasselbeck)find this to be a devastating blow to our security, Shep Smith went rogue over at Fox and reported that we need to keep in mind that our military budget is bigger than the next ten military budgets in the world combined.
Stephen had maps of China, Russia, United Kingdom, Japan, France, Saudi Arabia, India, Germany, Italy, and Brazil up on the screen, so I'm assuming we are bigger and better than all those countries. Sounds like we are still holding our own.
But some of the other people over at Fox had a graph, and that beats out Shep Smith with his plain standing and talking. The graph had blue and red bars for each year 2008, 2010, 2012 and 2014. And there were four large numbers on the left side: 500B, 1.0T, 1.5 T, and 2.0 T. I'm going out on a branch here and saying that they stand for $500 billion, $1 trillion, $1.5 trillion, and $2.0 trillion. And with this graph, Steve Doocy went on to talk about the graph. "As you can see, back in 1990," and it went downhill for him from there. Something that perhaps needs to be investigated is whether Steve Doocy might be colorblind. He seemed to get the colors red and blue mixed up. And then one might wonder about his number sense. He had a hard time reading those numbers. I mean, two trillion. You try saying that out loud and see how well you do! Stephen came to the conclusion from this graph that the other guy named Steve should not be on television.
Stephen Colbert went on to do an amazing "The Word" that showed how much money is being wasted with military spending. For example, lots of fancy stuff is being made - such as tanks and planes - that don't work well or aren't even needed by the army, and then some of them just go to Arizona and sit unused. Sounds like entitlement spending for tanks to me. What would that be? Entanklement Spending? Just for fun, Google "Arizona Boneyard" or "Aircraft Boneyard" and look at the Images or Maps to see a bunch of stuff just sitting around. I even spotted airplanes with missing parts.
The reason for all of these military accessories is that it provides jobs for people. Stephen had a great idea for a new weapon system. It has everything. It's the FU435 Employmentator. It's part tank, part jet and part aircraft carrier. Why is it that Stephen has all the good ideas?
Stephen's guest last night was St. Vincent who was born Annie Erin Clark. She brought her Einstein hair with her, and as is often the case with guests on the show, lost at the game of "How Fast Can You Name Them." Stephen always wins. Only an only child could come out ahead in that competition. I'm also thinking that Comedy Central could have a game show called, "How Fast Can You Name Them." My idea, but I'm giving it away free to Comedy Central. You're welcome.
Anyway, St. Vincent performed a song from her album last night and of course there's a bonus song over at Colbert Nation. The similarities between her performance and the performance by Darlene Love the night before are uncanny. It's almost like watching a rerun from the night before. See what you think.
Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Stephen teased us with his review of the commercials that aired during the Big Game. He kept hinting at nuts which made all of us think he was talking about the Pistachio commercial that he was in. (No wonder he kept talking about football and the Big Game all last week!) But then we found out he was talking about the super controversial Coca Cola ad. It was really bad. Can you just imagine a commercial with different scenes of different people with different voices singing "America the Beautiful in different languages?" Granted the singers were on key and kept up the correct tempo and were quite lovely, but still, English has always been the only language spoken here since time began and it will always be that way. And Coca Cola has to honor that myth.
You can see it here, oops I mean see the Coca Cola ad here. Stephen also played part of the ad on the show last night until the pain in his head nearly ended the show right then and there. Stephen was warned by the folks over at Fox and by Rush Limbaugh, but still he watched and listened.
Everyone is upset by this. Allen West had this to say about it, " It started rather patriotically with the words of 'America the Beautiful.' Then the words went from English to languages I didn't recognize." Stephen noted that Allen West once was a Congressman from Florida and served in the army over in Afghanistan. Who could really expect him to recognize Spanish or Arabic?
Even Michael Leahy weighed in thusly: "The company used such an iconic song, one often sung in churches on the 4th of July that represents the old "E Pluribus Unum' view of how American society is integrated, to push multiculturalism down our throats.." You could look up the Latin phrase "E Pluribus Unum" at the Google machine. Or you could just take Stephen's word for it that it means, "Speaka da Engliss."
Stephen gave us just a little bit of history about the song, "America The Beautiful" when noting that the ad also showed a gay couple while the song was still playing in the background. The lyrics were written by Katharine Lee Bates who had a Boston marriage with her partner of 25 years, Katharine Coman.Who knew?
We can only hope that this controversy will show up in the presidential election of 2016 because, after all, Coca Cola is a carbonated beverage that many people enjoy in a tall glass with ice cubes. What could be more important for our leaders to talk about than this? Are you listening Fox News? Keep this issue in the headlines.
Back to the show. Hat/Finger or Tip/Wag or Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. The Oakland Cheerleaders are suing the Oakland Raiders because they haven't been paid enough. Works out to about $5.00 per hour all things considered. More importantly in this segment, we got to see a photo of Stephen from his school days. And that's what really matters for me.
Pope Francis is on the cover of Rolling Stone and Stephen is somewhat upset and so used last night as a soapbox to show off his knowledge of all the other Popes.
Sadly, China's Jade Rabbit is perhaps going to fail. And the snowstorm has whipped up a lot of winter pollen and has made Stephen cry. Or something like that. The Jade Rabbit spoke to all of us and Stephen was profoundly moved by it.
Wonder of all wonders, we got to see the Stephen Colbert Wonderful Pistachios commercial. I'm assuming everyone watching got to see the ad. Sometimes ads play to a local market, but I think this one would have been aired for everyone to enjoy. And then there was an ad for the Lego Movie (starts Friday). You know what would be great? If Stephen could have some of the actors from that movie on as guests. That would be so "very" cool. (You may substitute another word for "very" if you would like.)
And again, back to the show. Stephen talked briefly about Harry Potter (a handsome young lad with dark hair and glasses) and the current thoughts of author J.K. Rowling. Stephen suggested some new books that should be written to bring the relationships up to date.
Stephen's guest last night was Jennifer Senior. She has a new fun book out, "All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood." It seemed like it was going to be a short interview, but then it did go a bit longer. It was one of those strange interviews where the interviewee laughed somewhat and tried to get words in edgewise because the interviewer was kind of monopolizing the discussion. Interestingly enough Jennifer Senior did mention that it used to be that children were considered "staff." Now, parents are the staff. But think back to times when many people lived on farms. Children were expected to work on the farm at whatever tasks they could.
It was a short yet fast interview. Come back in twenty years to find out how well Jennifer Senior did on raising her own kid.
You can see it here, oops I mean see the Coca Cola ad here. Stephen also played part of the ad on the show last night until the pain in his head nearly ended the show right then and there. Stephen was warned by the folks over at Fox and by Rush Limbaugh, but still he watched and listened.
Everyone is upset by this. Allen West had this to say about it, " It started rather patriotically with the words of 'America the Beautiful.' Then the words went from English to languages I didn't recognize." Stephen noted that Allen West once was a Congressman from Florida and served in the army over in Afghanistan. Who could really expect him to recognize Spanish or Arabic?
Even Michael Leahy weighed in thusly: "The company used such an iconic song, one often sung in churches on the 4th of July that represents the old "E Pluribus Unum' view of how American society is integrated, to push multiculturalism down our throats.." You could look up the Latin phrase "E Pluribus Unum" at the Google machine. Or you could just take Stephen's word for it that it means, "Speaka da Engliss."
Stephen gave us just a little bit of history about the song, "America The Beautiful" when noting that the ad also showed a gay couple while the song was still playing in the background. The lyrics were written by Katharine Lee Bates who had a Boston marriage with her partner of 25 years, Katharine Coman.Who knew?
We can only hope that this controversy will show up in the presidential election of 2016 because, after all, Coca Cola is a carbonated beverage that many people enjoy in a tall glass with ice cubes. What could be more important for our leaders to talk about than this? Are you listening Fox News? Keep this issue in the headlines.
Back to the show. Hat/Finger or Tip/Wag or Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. The Oakland Cheerleaders are suing the Oakland Raiders because they haven't been paid enough. Works out to about $5.00 per hour all things considered. More importantly in this segment, we got to see a photo of Stephen from his school days. And that's what really matters for me.
Pope Francis is on the cover of Rolling Stone and Stephen is somewhat upset and so used last night as a soapbox to show off his knowledge of all the other Popes.
Sadly, China's Jade Rabbit is perhaps going to fail. And the snowstorm has whipped up a lot of winter pollen and has made Stephen cry. Or something like that. The Jade Rabbit spoke to all of us and Stephen was profoundly moved by it.
Wonder of all wonders, we got to see the Stephen Colbert Wonderful Pistachios commercial. I'm assuming everyone watching got to see the ad. Sometimes ads play to a local market, but I think this one would have been aired for everyone to enjoy. And then there was an ad for the Lego Movie (starts Friday). You know what would be great? If Stephen could have some of the actors from that movie on as guests. That would be so "very" cool. (You may substitute another word for "very" if you would like.)
And again, back to the show. Stephen talked briefly about Harry Potter (a handsome young lad with dark hair and glasses) and the current thoughts of author J.K. Rowling. Stephen suggested some new books that should be written to bring the relationships up to date.
Stephen's guest last night was Jennifer Senior. She has a new fun book out, "All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood." It seemed like it was going to be a short interview, but then it did go a bit longer. It was one of those strange interviews where the interviewee laughed somewhat and tried to get words in edgewise because the interviewer was kind of monopolizing the discussion. Interestingly enough Jennifer Senior did mention that it used to be that children were considered "staff." Now, parents are the staff. But think back to times when many people lived on farms. Children were expected to work on the farm at whatever tasks they could.
It was a short yet fast interview. Come back in twenty years to find out how well Jennifer Senior did on raising her own kid.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Where is the Library?
Come visit the USA. Of course, if you are already here, you would first have to leave and then come back. But anyway... Stephen showed us a little bit of "Land of Dreams" video from Discover America. There are parts he didn't like. (Not a big surprise since he has certain standards.) There was one part I thought was really cool, but again Stephen had some complaints. It's the part where the eagle lands on your arm while you are paragliding. Is that cool or what?
Stephen showed us his own concept for a commercial for USA tourism and he even demonstrated that he thinks we are number one.
Last night was a great night to watch if you are trying to brush up on your French. I didn't pay to much attention to what Stephen was talking about. It was something about the French president, Francois Hollande and the First Lady of France. Mostly I just listened for Stephen to speak French so that I could use my French skills. It's been quite a while since I took French lessons, but I think I understood everything Stephen was talking about when he spoke French. He did consider Francois Hollande to be his Chen Alpha de la Semaine. I guess that means he is very important.
Stephen's lively guest last night was a fellow journalist. Gabriel Sherman has a new book out - "The Loudest Voice in the Room - How the Brilliant, Bombastic Roger Ailes Built Fox News --- and Divided a Country."
And Gabriel Sherman wins the award for the longest book title.
But seriously folks, Gabriel Sherman apparently says in the book that Roger Ailes is a bully and is vindictive but also charismatic. While you might think, fine, everyone is entitled to his own opinion, fact is that Gabriel Sherman gathered a lot of facts for the book. He interviewed 600 people for the book. And he had two fact checkers spend more than 2000 hours vetting the book. That has got to be the kind of journalism that Stephen Colbert can relate to. You should go out and buy the book. Even if you don't read it, there's a lot of famous people on the cover of the book and you could frame that and put it up on the wall in your office. Your friends will be impressed.
Stephen showed us his own concept for a commercial for USA tourism and he even demonstrated that he thinks we are number one.
Last night was a great night to watch if you are trying to brush up on your French. I didn't pay to much attention to what Stephen was talking about. It was something about the French president, Francois Hollande and the First Lady of France. Mostly I just listened for Stephen to speak French so that I could use my French skills. It's been quite a while since I took French lessons, but I think I understood everything Stephen was talking about when he spoke French. He did consider Francois Hollande to be his Chen Alpha de la Semaine. I guess that means he is very important.
Stephen's lively guest last night was a fellow journalist. Gabriel Sherman has a new book out - "The Loudest Voice in the Room - How the Brilliant, Bombastic Roger Ailes Built Fox News --- and Divided a Country."
And Gabriel Sherman wins the award for the longest book title.
But seriously folks, Gabriel Sherman apparently says in the book that Roger Ailes is a bully and is vindictive but also charismatic. While you might think, fine, everyone is entitled to his own opinion, fact is that Gabriel Sherman gathered a lot of facts for the book. He interviewed 600 people for the book. And he had two fact checkers spend more than 2000 hours vetting the book. That has got to be the kind of journalism that Stephen Colbert can relate to. You should go out and buy the book. Even if you don't read it, there's a lot of famous people on the cover of the book and you could frame that and put it up on the wall in your office. Your friends will be impressed.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Pope on a Rope
Yet again ObamaCare is in the news. To some extent I wonder if that might be because on any given day at least one person is sick and needs health care. Some days there are probably more than one person who is sick or a person who needs surgery or probably some woman having a baby. Did you know that historically women have had to pay higher insurance premiums than men? It's true.
Some people think the system should stay that way with women paying more. The reasoning is that women have a long list of benefits that they get which includes maternity services, contraceptive devices, birth control pills and doctor and dentist visits for children. Somewhere in the back of my mind I keep thinking that it takes two to tango and I don't know why I'm thinking of that now. Oh, well.
We even saw a video clip from Fox that showed the overuse of medicine by women. Gretchen Carlson has Lyme Disease and Brian Kilmeade doesn't. See? No wonder people (men) are unhappy about paying the same as women. Have you ever heard of a man getting Lyme disease? I didn't think so.
The Fox Doc (Dr. Samadi) even explained it on Fox. Men have a prostate. Women have all those other body parts - the breast, the ovaries, and the uterus. Stephen figures he should be able to get a Pap smear if he has to pay the same amount as women. That just makes sense.
Stephen gave a shout-out to all the celebrities over at Fox and then gave some pre-interview attention to his guest - David Folkenflik. It seems that many Fox staffers went online, using many different aliases (as many as 100 for one person) in order to make comments that were very positive to Fox stories and news. (News and stories... whatever.)
This is the type of behavior that is likely to start other types of hooliganism and Stephen highlighted just such an example. Seems that one of his writers, who shall remain unnamed here even though Stephen outed him, designed an algorithm which is hilarious. It reminds me of Mad Libs.
@RealHumanPraise
How it works is like this: Positive movie reviews from Rotten Tomatoes have Fox people's names substituted in the review and it makes for hilarious fun. Just the kind of thing the kids will love on those long car trips. Even as I speak, it's up to 5,973 Tweets and 30,687 Followers and that in about just one week!
Here's just one example:
"All references to prophecy and the Antichrist aside, Shepard Smith Reporting achieves its horror the old fashioned way. #PraiseFOX."
Ah, fun and games. I just love it. But anyway, the guest last night, David Folkenflik, wrote a new book that seem so connected to everything Stephen talked about on the first part of the show. "Murdoch's World - The Last of the Old Media Empires." (Strangely enough, some of the commenters at that link aren't very kind when writing about the book about Murdoch. Could it be these are just aliases? I'm just saying.)
Stephen started off the interview taking David Folkenflik to task. "Are you jealous of Rupert Murdoch? Is it because he works for a successful business and you work for a non-profit?"
-------------------
In the Foot-in-Mouth segment of the show, David Folkenflik said this in response to Stephen's question. "This is about a guy who I think is, in many ways, the most influential media figure in the English speaking world."
"Excuse me," said Stephen with a blink, blink, blink, and then a smirk to his adoring audience. He acknowledged the applause from the audience and then said, "Go ahead."
Talk about a faux pas!
-------------------
David Folkenflik went on to tell Stephen about the absolute power of Rupert Murdoch. That prompted Stephen to ask why he would want to cross Murdoch with the things he put in the book.
Stephen took time out to read another of the tweets that praised Fox News. "Elizabeth Hasselbeck brilliantly portrays Michelle Malkin as someone with absolutely no sense of her own monstrosity."
Next we learned about all the phones hacked by Murdoch's staff. David Folkenflik didn't do that to get material for his book, he did it the old fashioned way, by interviewing people. Stephen pointed out that if he would have hacked Murdoch's phone, he would have gotten more information and he would have therefore been a better reporter. You can't argue with logic. Also one thing you can't argue with is that if you "tip" people, like Murdoch's journalists did, you can really find out hordes of information. Of course, some people think you shouldn't be giving large "tips" to law enforcement or politicians.
Stephen ended the show on a happy note, imagining what an expensive spa treatment over in England would feel like. Background: that was another of the "tips" given out to local authorities, law enforcement, etc. (Think Scotland Yard.)
And now @RealHumanPraise is up to 5,999 Tweets and 31,737 Followers.
Some people think the system should stay that way with women paying more. The reasoning is that women have a long list of benefits that they get which includes maternity services, contraceptive devices, birth control pills and doctor and dentist visits for children. Somewhere in the back of my mind I keep thinking that it takes two to tango and I don't know why I'm thinking of that now. Oh, well.
We even saw a video clip from Fox that showed the overuse of medicine by women. Gretchen Carlson has Lyme Disease and Brian Kilmeade doesn't. See? No wonder people (men) are unhappy about paying the same as women. Have you ever heard of a man getting Lyme disease? I didn't think so.
The Fox Doc (Dr. Samadi) even explained it on Fox. Men have a prostate. Women have all those other body parts - the breast, the ovaries, and the uterus. Stephen figures he should be able to get a Pap smear if he has to pay the same amount as women. That just makes sense.
Stephen gave a shout-out to all the celebrities over at Fox and then gave some pre-interview attention to his guest - David Folkenflik. It seems that many Fox staffers went online, using many different aliases (as many as 100 for one person) in order to make comments that were very positive to Fox stories and news. (News and stories... whatever.)
This is the type of behavior that is likely to start other types of hooliganism and Stephen highlighted just such an example. Seems that one of his writers, who shall remain unnamed here even though Stephen outed him, designed an algorithm which is hilarious. It reminds me of Mad Libs.
@RealHumanPraise
How it works is like this: Positive movie reviews from Rotten Tomatoes have Fox people's names substituted in the review and it makes for hilarious fun. Just the kind of thing the kids will love on those long car trips. Even as I speak, it's up to 5,973 Tweets and 30,687 Followers and that in about just one week!
Here's just one example:
"All references to prophecy and the Antichrist aside, Shepard Smith Reporting achieves its horror the old fashioned way. #PraiseFOX."
Ah, fun and games. I just love it. But anyway, the guest last night, David Folkenflik, wrote a new book that seem so connected to everything Stephen talked about on the first part of the show. "Murdoch's World - The Last of the Old Media Empires." (Strangely enough, some of the commenters at that link aren't very kind when writing about the book about Murdoch. Could it be these are just aliases? I'm just saying.)
Stephen started off the interview taking David Folkenflik to task. "Are you jealous of Rupert Murdoch? Is it because he works for a successful business and you work for a non-profit?"
-------------------
In the Foot-in-Mouth segment of the show, David Folkenflik said this in response to Stephen's question. "This is about a guy who I think is, in many ways, the most influential media figure in the English speaking world."
"Excuse me," said Stephen with a blink, blink, blink, and then a smirk to his adoring audience. He acknowledged the applause from the audience and then said, "Go ahead."
Talk about a faux pas!
-------------------
David Folkenflik went on to tell Stephen about the absolute power of Rupert Murdoch. That prompted Stephen to ask why he would want to cross Murdoch with the things he put in the book.
Stephen took time out to read another of the tweets that praised Fox News. "Elizabeth Hasselbeck brilliantly portrays Michelle Malkin as someone with absolutely no sense of her own monstrosity."
Next we learned about all the phones hacked by Murdoch's staff. David Folkenflik didn't do that to get material for his book, he did it the old fashioned way, by interviewing people. Stephen pointed out that if he would have hacked Murdoch's phone, he would have gotten more information and he would have therefore been a better reporter. You can't argue with logic. Also one thing you can't argue with is that if you "tip" people, like Murdoch's journalists did, you can really find out hordes of information. Of course, some people think you shouldn't be giving large "tips" to law enforcement or politicians.
Stephen ended the show on a happy note, imagining what an expensive spa treatment over in England would feel like. Background: that was another of the "tips" given out to local authorities, law enforcement, etc. (Think Scotland Yard.)
And now @RealHumanPraise is up to 5,999 Tweets and 31,737 Followers.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Jack Andraka
Stephen pointed out that there are politicians willing to go on record and criticize the votes of those GOP Senators who voted on October 16 to lift the debt ceiling. Here's the names of the GOP Senators who voted to lift the debt ceiling:
Alexander (R-TN)
Ayotte (R-NH)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Blunt (R-MO)
Boozman (R-AR)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Chiesa (R-NJ)
Coats (R-IN)
Cochran (R-MS)
Collins (R-ME)
Corker (R-TN)
Fischer (R-NE)
Flake (R-AZ)
Graham (R-SC)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hoeven (R-ND)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kirk (R-IL)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Moran (R-KS)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Portman (R-OH)
Thune (R-SD)
Wicker (R-MS)
And here are the 27 prominent politicians who were willing to criticize those GOP Senators.
Alexander (R-TN)
Ayotte (R-NH)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Blunt (R-MO)
Boozman (R-AR)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Chiesa (R-NJ)
Coats (R-IN)
Cochran (R-MS)
Collins (R-ME)
Corker (R-TN)
Fischer (R-NE)
Flake (R-AZ)
Graham (R-SC)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hoeven (R-ND)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kirk (R-IL)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Moran (R-KS)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Portman (R-OH)
Thune (R-SD)
Wicker (R-MS)
Okay, now I'm seeing a problem and Stephen noticed it along with a whole bunch of other people. They criticized their own votes! Apparently it's so they can have it both ways. That way, during the next election they can say whatever will get the votes.
Stephen had a great political commercial. I'm sure we will see many like it when the elections for 2014 start rolling around. One can hope.
You may remember that Stephen talked about the new Big Area Touchscreens over at Fox News recently. Stephen reported more about that and showed Shephard Smith holding more of the latest technology and reporting. It was a "hand held biodegradable info sheet." And it's paper thin! That must be what they use for the news that is the most important just breaking news! All the other high technology screens and computers and such are used to play Candy Crush. Stephen then highlighted his latest techno toy - the "Super Newstendo Journo-Cube 3000." He is able to determine if stuff is Shiny or News. I think Stephen is winning.
Stephen's guest on Wednesday was Jack Andraka. He was excited to be on the show and get the Colbert Bump, but it doesn't seem like he needed it. Go read about Jack Andraka here. Pretty cool stuff, indeed. He invented a cheap test for pancreatic, ovarian and lung cancer, he won the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair top prize, and he's 16 years old. Wow. Wowie! At one point, Stephen, with a smug look on his face said, "Don't patronize me, I know what you're talking about." I'm sure we all have a great understanding of detecting cancer with cheap materials, but if you want to learn about garage medicine, go read about him and/or watch over at Colbert Nation at the section Watch more full episodes under "Most Recent Episode." This guy might even save your life someday!
Alexander (R-TN)
Ayotte (R-NH)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Blunt (R-MO)
Boozman (R-AR)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Chiesa (R-NJ)
Coats (R-IN)
Cochran (R-MS)
Collins (R-ME)
Corker (R-TN)
Fischer (R-NE)
Flake (R-AZ)
Graham (R-SC)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hoeven (R-ND)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kirk (R-IL)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Moran (R-KS)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Portman (R-OH)
Thune (R-SD)
Wicker (R-MS)
And here are the 27 prominent politicians who were willing to criticize those GOP Senators.
Alexander (R-TN)
Ayotte (R-NH)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Blunt (R-MO)
Boozman (R-AR)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Chiesa (R-NJ)
Coats (R-IN)
Cochran (R-MS)
Collins (R-ME)
Corker (R-TN)
Fischer (R-NE)
Flake (R-AZ)
Graham (R-SC)
Hatch (R-UT)
Hoeven (R-ND)
Isakson (R-GA)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kirk (R-IL)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Moran (R-KS)
Murkowski (R-AK)
Portman (R-OH)
Thune (R-SD)
Wicker (R-MS)
Okay, now I'm seeing a problem and Stephen noticed it along with a whole bunch of other people. They criticized their own votes! Apparently it's so they can have it both ways. That way, during the next election they can say whatever will get the votes.
Stephen had a great political commercial. I'm sure we will see many like it when the elections for 2014 start rolling around. One can hope.
You may remember that Stephen talked about the new Big Area Touchscreens over at Fox News recently. Stephen reported more about that and showed Shephard Smith holding more of the latest technology and reporting. It was a "hand held biodegradable info sheet." And it's paper thin! That must be what they use for the news that is the most important just breaking news! All the other high technology screens and computers and such are used to play Candy Crush. Stephen then highlighted his latest techno toy - the "Super Newstendo Journo-Cube 3000." He is able to determine if stuff is Shiny or News. I think Stephen is winning.
Stephen's guest on Wednesday was Jack Andraka. He was excited to be on the show and get the Colbert Bump, but it doesn't seem like he needed it. Go read about Jack Andraka here. Pretty cool stuff, indeed. He invented a cheap test for pancreatic, ovarian and lung cancer, he won the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair top prize, and he's 16 years old. Wow. Wowie! At one point, Stephen, with a smug look on his face said, "Don't patronize me, I know what you're talking about." I'm sure we all have a great understanding of detecting cancer with cheap materials, but if you want to learn about garage medicine, go read about him and/or watch over at Colbert Nation at the section Watch more full episodes under "Most Recent Episode." This guy might even save your life someday!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
I'm in the News Business Myself
The World ends with a wedding! That's right. Yet again, the world is going to end. We've all been there so many times when the world has ended, so it should come as no surprise that someone is saying the world would end. Stephen covered it quite well, with a little help from Neil Cavuto and friends. One thing I know for sure, these are some great songs.
The End of the World (Skeeter Davis)
It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by REM
Why didn't Stephen have Michael Stipe climb on down from his shelf on the set and sing his song? It would have been appropriate. Just sayin'.
Andrew Sullivan came on the show to help Stephen understand all the intricacies involved in foreign relations and also to talk about Syria and the Middle East and Russia and China. Stephen talked about Putin and Chinese Putin. He also threatened to cut out portions of what Andrew Sullivan said, and by George, I think he did edit out some of what Andrew Sullivan said!
Stephen talked about the latest gun violence in our nation and explored some of the reasons for it. Over at Fox, they have some ideas. For one thing, there's too many ID cards. For another thing, too much violence in video games. Everyone over at Fox says so, Brian, Bill, Neil, and New Gretchen. Although, to be fair, Eric Bolling wants to know who the donkey is that keeps pointing fingers at a link between video games and violence. Yeah, who? Stephen said, "Good question. Who is the burro who blames gun violence on video games?" Stephen had a clip of that person. It's, well this is embarrassing. It's Eric Bolling.
Stephen's guest last night was Nicholson Baker, there to talk about his new book, "Traveling Sprinkler." I'm sure many people interview this author about his book, but Stephen comes up with hard hitting questions. Questions such as, "Who sets the hose down? Who pays the water bill?" These are questions that we need answers to if we are to enjoy the book.
The two of them continued discussing other important topics. They talked about Nicholson Baker's beard. "Your beard used to be America," Stephen commented and then changed the subject and asked about downtown and then asked about the Thunderstick. Wow. Really jumping all over the place with various unrelated topics.
Nicholson Baker also took this opportunity to hand out a complement to Malcolm Gladwell.
The End of the World (Skeeter Davis)
It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) by REM
Why didn't Stephen have Michael Stipe climb on down from his shelf on the set and sing his song? It would have been appropriate. Just sayin'.
Andrew Sullivan came on the show to help Stephen understand all the intricacies involved in foreign relations and also to talk about Syria and the Middle East and Russia and China. Stephen talked about Putin and Chinese Putin. He also threatened to cut out portions of what Andrew Sullivan said, and by George, I think he did edit out some of what Andrew Sullivan said!
Stephen talked about the latest gun violence in our nation and explored some of the reasons for it. Over at Fox, they have some ideas. For one thing, there's too many ID cards. For another thing, too much violence in video games. Everyone over at Fox says so, Brian, Bill, Neil, and New Gretchen. Although, to be fair, Eric Bolling wants to know who the donkey is that keeps pointing fingers at a link between video games and violence. Yeah, who? Stephen said, "Good question. Who is the burro who blames gun violence on video games?" Stephen had a clip of that person. It's, well this is embarrassing. It's Eric Bolling.
Stephen's guest last night was Nicholson Baker, there to talk about his new book, "Traveling Sprinkler." I'm sure many people interview this author about his book, but Stephen comes up with hard hitting questions. Questions such as, "Who sets the hose down? Who pays the water bill?" These are questions that we need answers to if we are to enjoy the book.
The two of them continued discussing other important topics. They talked about Nicholson Baker's beard. "Your beard used to be America," Stephen commented and then changed the subject and asked about downtown and then asked about the Thunderstick. Wow. Really jumping all over the place with various unrelated topics.
Nicholson Baker also took this opportunity to hand out a complement to Malcolm Gladwell.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Impossible Odds
First of all, I learned too late that I was not at Stephen Colbert's birthday party. I should have been suspicious when "Stephen" was shorter than I thought, older than I thought and would not take that mask off no matter what. Next year I will be a lot more careful about going to a birthday party for a big-name celebrity in a small name fast food restaurant. In my defense, there was a birthday tree there and it had a photo of Stephen at the top.
I really should have stayed home and got caught up with my posts. Oh, well...
There's the lame stream media out there and then there's Stephen and Fox News. I have come to realize that Stephen is always fair in anything he reports. Sometimes though I wonder about Fox News. Lately, in the past month or so, it seems that nothing President Obama does is what Fox News thinks the President should be doing. One idea would be for Fox to send to the President a daily agenda and talking points. Do this. Say this. That should keep everyone happy.
Stephen reported on the protests at the United States Embassy in Cairo and all the hoopla that goes with the neverending reporting by everyone about it. Four Americans were killed. Our thoughts are still with the families.But one woman, Ms. Rice, is being blamed. Ms. Rice was not completely accurate about something that happened in the Middle East. (Photos of Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Ms. Rice appear on the set). Yikes, that's confusing. There is more than one Ms. Rice. I better clear that up. Susan Rice was the one who said that the attacks were "...spontaneously inspired by the protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo..." whereas Condoleezza Rice was the one who said, "Bin Laden determined to strike with in the U. S." I always get those two women mixed up. I'm glad Stephen had photos of everyone on the show
I'll hurry up on the rest of the show. I am so behind. There's a firestorm so Stephen got out some champagne and now the IRS is mad at him. And everyone is happy in France, bears are getting high on fumes. That's about what he said.
There were two guests on the show, Jessica Buchanan and her husband Erik Landemalm. Jessica was kidnapped by Somalian land pirates in 2011, held for $45 million ransom and rescued after 93 days by Navy SEAL Team Six. And thus the book, "Impossible Odds - the Kidnapping of Jessica Buchanan and Her Dramatic Rescue by SEAL Team Six." The title says it all, but go buy the book anyway.
I really should have stayed home and got caught up with my posts. Oh, well...
There's the lame stream media out there and then there's Stephen and Fox News. I have come to realize that Stephen is always fair in anything he reports. Sometimes though I wonder about Fox News. Lately, in the past month or so, it seems that nothing President Obama does is what Fox News thinks the President should be doing. One idea would be for Fox to send to the President a daily agenda and talking points. Do this. Say this. That should keep everyone happy.
Stephen reported on the protests at the United States Embassy in Cairo and all the hoopla that goes with the neverending reporting by everyone about it. Four Americans were killed. Our thoughts are still with the families.But one woman, Ms. Rice, is being blamed. Ms. Rice was not completely accurate about something that happened in the Middle East. (Photos of Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Ms. Rice appear on the set). Yikes, that's confusing. There is more than one Ms. Rice. I better clear that up. Susan Rice was the one who said that the attacks were "...spontaneously inspired by the protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo..." whereas Condoleezza Rice was the one who said, "Bin Laden determined to strike with in the U. S." I always get those two women mixed up. I'm glad Stephen had photos of everyone on the show
I'll hurry up on the rest of the show. I am so behind. There's a firestorm so Stephen got out some champagne and now the IRS is mad at him. And everyone is happy in France, bears are getting high on fumes. That's about what he said.
There were two guests on the show, Jessica Buchanan and her husband Erik Landemalm. Jessica was kidnapped by Somalian land pirates in 2011, held for $45 million ransom and rescued after 93 days by Navy SEAL Team Six. And thus the book, "Impossible Odds - the Kidnapping of Jessica Buchanan and Her Dramatic Rescue by SEAL Team Six." The title says it all, but go buy the book anyway.
Friday, September 28, 2012
He Built That
On a sadder note, the polls are not looking good for Mitt Romney, but no need to panic at this point. All you need is a carefree attitude. When asked about the campaign by a reporter, Mitt responded, "Ha, ha. We're in the stretch aren't we? Look at those clouds. It's beautiful. Look at those things." I'm thinking that Paul Ryan has got a new appreciation of those beautiful clouds.
But, and we can't say this often enough, you can't trust polls. Fox News had a poll of likely voters in Florida, Ohio and Virginia. The results for Obama-Biden were 49%, 49%, and 50%. For Romney-Ryan the results were 44%, 42%, and 43%. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Then they isolated voters and just asked the ones who were extremely interested in the election, and they got different numbers. Then it was Obama-Biden 48%, 47% and 49% compared to Romney Ryan 48%, 47% and 47%. So. Those are definitely numbers. But you know, as they say on Fox, "... scientific gobbley gook - I don't believe them."
Stephen even talked about a conservative blogger, Dean Chambers, who set up his own polls that showed Romney is winning. Finally, Fox had a text-vote on their show. Of the 20,000 who responded, 10% said Obama would win in Ohio and 90% said Romney would win. Now we're getting the kind of numbers we want to see. You would think that would settle it, you would think that would be the end of polls for the night, but no. Stephen has a his own poll, a "Stephen Poll-Bert."
Go over to Colbert Nation and be part of the poll. Here's what you will find"
President Obama currently leads Mitt Romney in the polls. Why are the polls so skewed?
A) People tend to choose the first option they are offered.
B) I don't answer polls.
C) When in doubt, always pick C.
Stephen says it's a scientific poll, so we know that it is.
Last night's guest was Vince Gilligan, creator of "Breaking Bad." More episodes will be coming this summer which gave Stephen a great idea. "Just tell us how it ends." That didn't happen. However, the two of them had a meth-off which is not as bad as it sounds. They just had to come up with different names for meth. We found out that now there is a blue meth. Stephen explained to Vince Gilligan what some of the benefits of having interns are. And they talked about how roads are paved.
So a great episode tonight. Be sure to go over to Colbert Nation to vote and for goodness sakes, think about all the answers before you vote!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Bogusivity
America Strikes Back continues. Last night Stephen talked about the Vice President nominee, Paul Ryan. Especially about his speech. It was an important speech, a huge moment. You could tell that Stephen was just as proud as anyone because he complimented Paul Ryan for finally earning his Public Speaking Merit Badge and becoming an Eagle Scout. Only one, well maybe a few, well maybe more than a dozen, little teeny, itsy bitsy problems. Ryan said things that weren't exactly factual. Lots of news organizations called him out on that. (Here, here, here, here, and here.) By looking over the video tape of Paul Ryan's speech, Stephen was able to isolate when they said he was lying. It was when he started moving his lips.
Here's what one person, Sally Kohn of Fox News, said: "Ryan's speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech."
So? said the Romney campaign's Neil Newhouse on August 28, 2012. "We're not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers." Others pointed out that this was a speech of big ideas, huge ideas. "Such as: lying is handy," noted Stephen. "Ryan stretching the truth is just another form of doping in that if you believe him, you're a dope.
A big treat for Stephen's fans was presidential candidate and Mormon Jon Huntsman as the guest. Luckily for us he did not answer all of Stephen's questions in Mandarin Chinese, even though he speaks it fluently. Perhaps some of the interview might have gone better if he had spoken Mandarin Chinese. Because. He said this. "I hate Super PACs." and then, even worse, he admitted that he knew that would be a hurtful statement because he said next, "I knew you were going to take offense at that, Stephen."
Stephen knew exactly what to do. He promoted his own Super PAC and told Jon Huntsman that, "We are building a better tomorrow," (pauses, looks at his audience, and they all chime in together) "TOMORROW."
One of the hard hitting questions that Stephen asked of Jon Huntsman was this, "How important do YOU think the facts are to a political campaign?
Awkward pause. Audience laughs.
To close out the interview, Stephen asked Jon Huntsman to say what his honest opinion of Mitt Romney is, but to say it in Mandarin Chinese.
Jon Huntsman said it, what he really thinks of Mitt Romney. But, since it was in Mandarin Chinese, I didn't quite catch it, so we will just have to assume that we know what was said about Mitt Romney.
Here's what one person, Sally Kohn of Fox News, said: "Ryan's speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech."
So? said the Romney campaign's Neil Newhouse on August 28, 2012. "We're not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers." Others pointed out that this was a speech of big ideas, huge ideas. "Such as: lying is handy," noted Stephen. "Ryan stretching the truth is just another form of doping in that if you believe him, you're a dope.
A big treat for Stephen's fans was presidential candidate and Mormon Jon Huntsman as the guest. Luckily for us he did not answer all of Stephen's questions in Mandarin Chinese, even though he speaks it fluently. Perhaps some of the interview might have gone better if he had spoken Mandarin Chinese. Because. He said this. "I hate Super PACs." and then, even worse, he admitted that he knew that would be a hurtful statement because he said next, "I knew you were going to take offense at that, Stephen."
Stephen knew exactly what to do. He promoted his own Super PAC and told Jon Huntsman that, "We are building a better tomorrow," (pauses, looks at his audience, and they all chime in together) "TOMORROW."
One of the hard hitting questions that Stephen asked of Jon Huntsman was this, "How important do YOU think the facts are to a political campaign?
Awkward pause. Audience laughs.
To close out the interview, Stephen asked Jon Huntsman to say what his honest opinion of Mitt Romney is, but to say it in Mandarin Chinese.
Jon Huntsman said it, what he really thinks of Mitt Romney. But, since it was in Mandarin Chinese, I didn't quite catch it, so we will just have to assume that we know what was said about Mitt Romney.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Heavyweight Champion of the World
Mike Tyson was supposed to be on the show tonight, but he was a "no show." Tyson canceled this morning and Stephen had an excellent explanation for us about why Mike Tyson did not show up for an interview on The Colbert Report. Because of this, Stephen can now legitimately claim to be the Heavyweight Champion of the World. Mike Tyson has a one-man show on Broadway and Stephen urged folks to go see the show, or better yet, promise you will for weeks and then don't.
Moving on. Stephen played a short clip from Fox News of Shepard Smith asking Carl Cameron if Mitt Romney was wearing Mom Jeans. Stephen admitted that he was a long time fan of Fox News, and also of the walk-in bathtubs that are advertised on that network. But I sure did not expect to hear a reference to Mom Jeans in political reporting on Fox News.
Stephen also talked briefly about the recent shooting in Aurora, Colorado. Folks can go over to GivingFirst.org to support victims of the Aurora Shooting.
Stephen's guest tonight, his actual, on-the-set guest, was Vikram Gandhi. This part gets kind of confusing for me and I think even Stephen was a bit confused. Kumare is a real film about a fake documentary about the true story about a false prophet. Maybe it's just better if you go to the website and see the movie trailer. You can also head over to Kumare.org and read a bit more about, well, about Kumare.
Now comes the time when I put the labels on this post and I have a dilemma. Do I put Mike Tyson in as one of the labels? He did not show up to be on the show. However, Stephen did talk about him. What to do .... what to do. Oh, I'll just put his name out there and you can ignore it if you want to. Problem solved.
Moving on. Stephen played a short clip from Fox News of Shepard Smith asking Carl Cameron if Mitt Romney was wearing Mom Jeans. Stephen admitted that he was a long time fan of Fox News, and also of the walk-in bathtubs that are advertised on that network. But I sure did not expect to hear a reference to Mom Jeans in political reporting on Fox News.
Stephen also talked briefly about the recent shooting in Aurora, Colorado. Folks can go over to GivingFirst.org to support victims of the Aurora Shooting.
Stephen's guest tonight, his actual, on-the-set guest, was Vikram Gandhi. This part gets kind of confusing for me and I think even Stephen was a bit confused. Kumare is a real film about a fake documentary about the true story about a false prophet. Maybe it's just better if you go to the website and see the movie trailer. You can also head over to Kumare.org and read a bit more about, well, about Kumare.
Now comes the time when I put the labels on this post and I have a dilemma. Do I put Mike Tyson in as one of the labels? He did not show up to be on the show. However, Stephen did talk about him. What to do .... what to do. Oh, I'll just put his name out there and you can ignore it if you want to. Problem solved.
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