Vote For Stephen

I will be brief. Stephen talked about ENDA and LGBT. He doesn't always know what those initials stand for, but you can find out about ENDA from Al Franken here at Huffington Post. It sure seems like this is a law that is long overdue.

There's still a major sports team using a disrespectful team name. Stephen demonstrated by using a comparison of how bad something could be, but that just brought out a lawyer and Stephen had to sign here, here, and there. That usually happens after the show suffers some "technical difficulties." I can't think of a way to talk about it without saying the name, so I'll just send you over here to USA Today to read about the protests at yesterday's game. Even Jesse Ventura is quoted in that story.

There's a bit of bullying going on amongst some football players. Big time, scary bullying. This is not ice cube down your shirt type of joking around. This is calling people very bad names and threatening them. Read about Miami Dolphins controversy here at New York Daily News.

Now for some positive news. Have you ever heard of the People's Choice Awards? Well, Stephen, yes our Stephen Colbert, has been nominated for a People's Choice Award in the category of Favorite Late Night Talk Show Host. You, yes you, can vote for him.

Go here and then scroll down to Favorite Late Night Talk Show Host (near the bottom of the middle column) and click on that. Then scroll up again and vote for Stephen. Skip over Conan O'Brien, David Letterman, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. Then Click on Stephen to vote for him.

Here's the cool thing, you can vote for Stephen as many times as you want. That's right. Vote *** For *** Stephen *** as many times as you want. Wow. Wowie.

The guest last night was Daniel Lieberman talking about his newest book, "The Story of the Human Body, Evolution, Health, and Disease." This is cool. A lot of what the two of them talked about is at that link, so go take a look. I will tell you, he kind of hints at sugar and trans fat as being bad for us. But it was an interesting interview. Stephen kept trying to change the subject and get away from what Daniel Lieberman was talking about. But I give credit to Daniel Lieberman. He stayed on topic and while he may have agreed with some of what Stephen was saying, he kept plugging away at everything that he wanted to talk about without the need to be rude. I'm sure it's an interesting book.

Now, go vote for Stephen.

Aspersions on His Asparagus

In Food News, Eric Holder was grilled and peppered by the Judiciary Committee.  A certain talking cantaloupe, no wait, it was Louie Gohmert,was complaining about Aspersions on his Asparagus. The nerve of some people... wait, what does that mean? Stephen thought there needs to be more hearings scheduled. "The more I digest this, the worse it smells." Aspersions... Asparagus...

In Energy News, eagles are being killed by wind turbines. Stephen is upset by this because people aren't upset about this. For example, if you mess with big oil, you know, have an oil spill and kill thousands of birds and other wild life, people will be upset. But break big wind an d people just laugh at you.

In Plastic News, did you know that you can buy one of those cheap MakerBots, make a head statue (bust) of Stephen Colbert and use it as a gun? No, you can't - just pulling your leg. But you can download instructions from the internet about making your own plastic gun.

And lastly, in Skeletal Biology Lab News, it turns out that humans are very good at sweating and that makes us superior to other life forms. Stephen is superior because he is wearing toe shoes. (Personally, I think it looks like you are wearing monkey feet, but whatever.)

Dr. Daniel Lieberman was Stephen's guest last Thursday. He is an actual Professor of Biological Sciences at Harvard University. He taught us to run barefoot, in that he said try running barefoot. It's harder to push yourself over your limit when running barefoot, because your feet will tell you to take it easy. Your feet hurt, so you stop running. This strategy works well for Stephen. Exercise hurts him, so he doesn't do it.

An amazing testament to how humans are superior really caught Stephen's attention. Turns out that having large butts (unlike some of the other primates) means you are less likely to fall on your face. Your gluteus maximus acts as a counter balance and this saves face a lot. Luckily for me, I rarely fall on my face!

There are many other ways that humans are superior. For example, because we have evolved, the necessity for underwear became apparent and sure enough, someone invented underwear. Lucky for all of us!