Stephen's New Year's Resolutions

I have no idea what Stephen will do for the New Year. But I do have some ideas for New Year's Resolutions.

1. Move to Massachusetts. It's a wonderful place to live.

2. Have Governor Deval Patrick on The Colbert Report.

3. Start acting Senatorial. I have heard that there may be an open Senate Seat in Massachusetts. I also have heard that Governor Deval Patrick gets to appoint a Senator if for some reason a current Senator leaves because maybe he is going to be the Secretary of State. And since you didn't get that one in South Carolina, here's your chance.

Good luck, Stephen.

The Nutcracker

This time of year, when there is not a new The Colbert Report to watch, people often turn to the classics. Here is one of my favorites, "The Nutcracker with the Royal Ballet," by Peter Tchaikovsky. Get a cookie or two and a mug of hot chocolate with a marshmallow, put on your slippers and enjoy this ballet. This is part one. When you are done watching that, there is a link on that page for part two.

I'm not sure if this will stay up for a while or if it will come down after Christmas. Best watch it soon, just in case.

More Christmas Music

Here's two more selections. This song, "Once in Royal David's City," is more traditional. I like it because of the simple tune with the majestic procession that often accompanies it.

The other one, "O Christmas Tree," is quite short and maybe not what people usually think of during the holidays, but it is somewhat whimsical and enjoyable so I include it here.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas. I sincerely wish peace and joy, comfort and good health for all near and far.

Here is a link to Cincinnati Christmas Pipe Organ Medley. I don't know the organist but found this over at YouTube and liked it. It's not grand and pretentious, just simple melodies from the Christmas season.

Enjoy.

Kids, Try This At Home

You'll recognize "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" at first, but then the pace picks up and you'd better not blink. You can however just sit and watch and learn. In no time, you should be able to join in all the fun. I mean really, how difficult could it possibly be if you're just sitting down, right?

After watching that, if you want something a bit more subdued, listen to "The First Noel" here. And for a medley that includes "Joy to the World" you'll enjoy this Dash for the Presents. It also includes something to work off all those calories from big Christmas dinners. All three selections are from Cherish the Ladies.

Mandy Patinkin

Last night's (repeat) show was the one with Mandy Patinkin as guest. Also joining in for a song at the end was Stephen and shelf warmer Michael Stipe. They did a beautiful job singing Good King Wenceslas. You can read my post from that night here.

For another musical treat, you can travel to our 50th state, you know, the one where President Obama was born, and listen to Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters sing Mele Kalikimaka which is also known as the Hawaiian Christmas Song.

Malcolm Gladwell

Last night's repeat was Malcolm Gladwell. You can read that post here if you haven't read it already.

Today's link to the Christmas song, "Christmas Baby Please Come Home" sung by Darlene Love on David Letterman back in 2011. There's also a few other singers and musicians. Seems like there's more and more every year!

Peter Jackson

You know the drill, last night was a repeat. You can see what I posted the first time around. I'm assuming it was in fact the episode with Peter Jackson last night. I did not actually watch it. But things always go as planned, so I'm sure this will be the correct post for last night's episode.

And again for your viewing and listening pleasure, another Christmas song. This is one of my favorites. Here it is, Feliz Navidad, by Jose Feliciano. I'm sure you've heard it before. But some songs just get better with time.

And as a bonus, here it is done by Michael Buble and Thalia.

Sir Ian McKellen

As you probably know, Stephen is taking time off at the end of the year so it is repeats this week. Last night's guest was Sir Ian McKellen. You can read my post about that here.

And since there are no shows this week, we won't get to hear some of Stephen's favorite Christmas songs. So here for you viewing and listening pleasure is a link for an older Christmas song that you may not have heard before.  Enjoy.

Here's Ernest Tubb singing "Merry Texas Christmas You All."

Hold It Right There, Nunsie

Wrapping up last Thursday's show and the last episode of 2012 it is time for bid adieu to Ham Rove. In a strange turn of events though, his memory will live on. You see, Stephen got a letter from The Ham Rove Memorial Fund, of which he, Stephen Colbert, surprisingly is on the Board! In this letter which Stephen sent to himself, it says that they recently received an anonymous donation of $773,704,83. This is amazing because it is exactly the same amount of money that was left over in the Colbert Super PAC. The letter came from P.O. Box Bite Me. Stephen suggested that this donation go to Unicef but the other Board members found out that Unicef is the name of Stephen's yacht.

Therefore, the money will be divided up as follows:

$125,000 to Donors Choose Sandy Relief Fund

$125,000 to Team Rubicon's Sandy Outreach

$125,000 to Habitat for Humanity to build houses for storm victims

$125,000 to Yellow Ribbon Fund

The remaining money, per Ham Rove's wishes, will be split between the Center for Responsive Politics and The Campaign Legal Center, but if, and only if, some conditions are met. Conference rooms for those two organizations will be renamed. One gets to be The Colbert Super PAC Memorial Conference Room and the other gets to the The Ham Rove Memorial Conference Room.

Stephen's guest for the last show of 2012 was Sister Simone Campbell, of the famous Nuns on a Bus. They had a very spirited interview. I have come to the conclusion that Sister Simone won the interview by a few points. Stephen tried his best, claiming that Jesus wanted him to prosper. Sister Simone came back at him with the story of how the rich brought presents to the baby Jesus and left them at the manger.

Stephen did compliment her that she was named one of Atlantic's Brave Thinkers of 2012. He went on to note that she publicly disagreed with the Pope, yes - that Pope (!) - on issues such as contraception and all male priesthood. He also commented that he had no way to be sure she was a nun since she was wearing just normal clothes. However, she has a pin on her lapel, what Stephen called a "Nun Badge."

In her never ending quest to help the poor, she also explained why she "took on" Paul Ryan and his budget. This is the budget which Paul Ryan said was informed by his faith. She said we should, in a pluralistic culture, be all about community: "We have to let go of our stuff to hold hands with each other."

Thursday's show was only 30 minutes long as usual, but it seemed like Stephen packed a lot in to end the year. We had another musical treat for the Christmas season. Musicians Jeff Tweedy, Mavis Staples, Sean Lennon and members of the Harlem Gospel Choir all appeared to sing John Lennon's "So This is Christmas."

Announcing Our Next U.S. Senator.....

Earlier today, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley had this to say:

"It is, um, with great pleasure that I am announcing, um, that I am appointing our next U.S. Senator to be Congressman Tim Scott."

This is not what I was expecting and I'm quite sure it absolutely was not what Stephen Colbert was expecting. Governor Haley was, I thought, a bit hesitant, or maybe subdued in her announcement. Is that because she secretly wanted to name Stephen Colbert for that position but was worried it would set the bar too high for all the other Senators?

I don't know Congressman Tim Scott, so I had to quickly find some links to information about him. I found this over at CBS News. Here's one I found at Think Progress. And here's one I found at the Washington Post. I also found out that he writes poetry. I'm pretty sure Stephen also writes poetry, so that can't be the only criteria used to decide on Tim Scott instead of Stephen Colbert.

I'm disappointed that we will not be seeing Senator Colbert in any news stories about the Senate. I really think we will eventually see him in Congress or even in the White House, so it would have made sense to get that whole career change going now. But I'll be patient. And I'll be ready to work on his campaign when he does run for office. It's the least I can do.

My Lord, A Mister Spider to See You

Thursday's show was the last episode of the year and Stephen was already relaxing in fine style. And of course news of the 121212 Concert was the first agenda item on the show. There were many fine musicians, but they were all just opening acts, teasers or appetizers if you will, for rock legend (in his own mind???) Stephen Colbert. He even brought out his iPad to show footage of Mick Jagger "shaking his sexy bag of bones." That would seem to prove that Stephen was, in fact, just off stage while Mick was performing, but I was skeptical. It is easy to download videos from the Internets and say, "I was there!" However, when the iPad swiveled around and showed Stephen's handsome, smiling face, there could be no doubt in my mind. Rock legend Stephen Colbert was definitely there, just offstage, to watch fellow rock legend Mick Jagger perform. Who was more impressed, Stephen or Mick? I wonder.

If you don't know yet, here's what Stephen suggested, Text Robinhood to 50555 to help out the victims of Hurricane Sandy.

Next we had some political commentary from Stephen and then some fancy culture by way of  the British and their Downton Abbey TV show. It seems Michele Obama was able, somehow, to get an advance copy of the upcoming season. She won't have to wait like the rest of America to watch. There's not much Stephen can do about that, but, F. O.T. S. (Friend of the Show) Vince Gilligan let Stephen show some upcoming scenes from Breaking Bad as performed by the men of Downton Abbey.

If by chance you tuned into The Colbert Report mid-show, you might have seen "Breaking Abbey" and you would probably have been really confused because you expected to see Stephen Colbert. Hopefully for all the viewers that were temporarily bummed out, you were elated when you realized that you were still watching the right show. This show, "Breaking Abbey" is bound to become a favorite for fans of both "Downton Abbey" and "Breaking Bad" because it combines the best of both shows.

Stephen promised that next time Bryan Cranston will be on to re-enact scenes from "Malcolm in the Middle."

Last Show For 2012

Last night's show was great and it was also the last show for 2012. I don't know why I didn't see that coming. Every year Stephen and also Jon Stewart take some time off to spend with their family and relax a bit. I mean, what else would Stephen possibly do, unless....?

Okay, I just checked my local movie theaters. Yes, December 14. The day that The Hobbit hits the screen. And so, I think we can safely assume that Stephen even now has a box of popcorn in one hand, a super large big cup of pop in the other hand, and his feet up on the seat in front of him. He is at the movies.  Well, not a surprise. Enjoy yourself Stephen and we will see you next year.

Now for the show. Well, I will write about last night's show over the next few days and also come up with something to write about for the three weeks that Stephen is off. For last night, it will include iPad, Ham, lots of money, a nun badge, and some more music. I'll keep my eye on important news and report on that, and I'll maybe make note of what is on the TV machine, you know, repeats of The Colbert Report, but I'll write different stuff from what I wrote before.

Oh, yeah, you can look at this if you have a few moments. It's about the Concert for Sandy Relief.

Feast of Stephen

Stephen mentioned again how Christmasy his studio is complete with a historically accurate nativity. It does have Stephen's latest book, "America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't," lying in the manger which I have my doubts about, historically and Biblically speaking, but I'll take Stephen at his word.

Speaking of Number One books - "America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't," has now reached Number One status over at Amazon, so great job Nation for buying the book. You will treasure it as I do.

As far as I can tell, Governor Nikki Haley still has not named Stephen Colbert, or someone less qualified than him, to replace Jim DeMint as Senator from South Carolina. Senator John McCain would be somewhat of a mentor to Stephen if (and when) Stephen goes to Washington. Senator McCain has said he would teach Senator Colbert how to shut up, which is funny because he can't make anyone shut up. Is it coincidence that there is a picture of Sarah Palin onscreen while Stephen is saying that? Also willing to help Stephen was Senator Jeff Bingaman of New Mexico. He had great pointers for Stephen, including appropriate attire to wear and information about the Steam Room.

Mandy Patinkin who is the Chief Saul Berenson on Homeland, was Stephen's guest last night. It was another great interview and I'm not sure if it was funny or terrifying or confrontational or all three. One of the first matters to be discussed, of course, was beards and beard growing. It takes about 8-10 weeks for Mandy Patinkin to grow his beard and get it up to speed. Stephen had a suggestion for better beard growth. Mandy Patinkin took the time during the interview to write that down while Stephen waited, patiently it seemed, for him to finish and resume the interview. They then delved into just about everything - terrorism, patriotism, propaganda, personal responsibility, and things that are not magic tricks. I think they also solved the Mideast problems.

If you were paying attention to your TV schedules or the lineup from Colbert Nation, you were aware that Michael Stipe was also scheduled to be a guest. I was so excited. Finally, he would get to come off that shelf at The Colbert Report. WHAT??!!??!! He had to sit there, even while the three of them sang. Well, I guess if Michael Stipe is happy doing that, then who am I to question that decision?

So, anyway, Christmas Music. Michael Stipe, Mandy Patinkin and Stephen Colbert sang Good King Wenceslas with Joan playing the piano. It was wonderful as is to be expected. Three very different men with three very different vocal stylings and voices. If you want, you can go get that over at iTunes for a very affordable price. Just go to Colbert Nation for the link.

If you are not familiar with the song, here is how it starts and then how it ends. There's a whole bunch of stuff in the middle. You can find the lyrics on the Internets if you want or just buy the song at iTunes or else watch it online at Colbert Nation.

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen,

.......... stuff in the middle .......

Ye who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing.

So, it's truly a great Christmas song and has a message we can all embrace.

Baby It's Cold Outside

The Fiscal Cliff is coming to town. Yes, it's that time of year when everything bad you ever thought might happen, will happen unless Congress gets its act together and acts. Of course, both sides go back and forth saying who's to blame. Some even say that the White House is daring Republicans to blink. Joke's on Obama - Stephen knows some Republicans who have had their eyelids surgically removed. (Here's looking at you, Michele Bachmann!)

John Boehner has a plan to cut spending by demanding that Obama comes up with his plan, but all that does is set up a neat Mad Libs scenario. Stephen even had an example of a short Mad Libs from the 2013  G.O.P. Budget:

We agree to cut ten bazillion from the program that gives ukuleles to the sticky poor. toilet-boobs!

Stephen had his Threat Down segment on last night. It always scares me when he exposes all these threats. Sometimes I'm so stunned I miss half of what he says. That being said, North Korean archaeologists have found an ancient unicorn lair. They know it is a unicorn lair because if you go "200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang City" you can find "A rectangular rock carved with the words 'Unicorn Lair' ..."

The reason this is a threat is that young girls universally love unicorns. If North Korea plays this right (or wrong depending on your perspective) young girls will be drawn into Communism because of the lure of unicorns.

Next, Stephen talked about the Recession. It seems even construction workers end up staying home with the kids. To appeal to this market of consumers, there is now a Barbie Doll that is a construction worker. This is a bad idea and Stephen demonstrated why. (Barbie does not have load bearing ankles.) Barbie is also the cause of the Recession, according to Stephen, because she is hogging all the jobs. He had examples: doctor, astronaut, race car driver, police officer, flight attendant, computer engineer, fire fighter, dentist, paleontologist, and a Fox News anchor.

Did you know there is a war against the gays? Luckily, California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill, a gay "reparative therapy" ban, because reparative therapy is "based on junk science." (It is interesting that Stephen had a tiny segment about Michele Bachmann on at the beginning of the show and yet he did not mention her in this segment. Maybe that's because it's old news, and yet, old news is still news.)

We got to see highlights of the most effective "anti-gay therapies." These therapies included, and I'm paraphrasing here, making orange juice, playing tennis, going into a locker room, and visiting a bath house. Stephen mentioned that along with banning such therapies, we also have given up trying to cure left-handedness.

The guest last night was  Malcolm Gladwell, and he brought with him "The Big New Yorker Book of Dogs." Stephen got him to admit that he, Gladwell, does not actually own a dog. He claims it is because his building does not allow dogs. However, he is still a dog lover. A few years back, he saved a dog that was on death row after being wrongly convicted of biting a young girl!


In one of those rare nights, Stephen had a second guest. Friend of the show, Audra McDonald, joined Stephen at the end of the show for a wonderful treat. She and Stephen sang, "Baby, It's Cold Out There." And again, impressive. Both are so talented, great way to end the show.

# Spotted Salamander

Last week's studio was all about The Hobbit. This week, the studio has been completely redecorated into a virtual, no wait, an actual Winter Wonderland. It's red, it's green. There are packages, there are huge candy canes, green wreaths, red poinsettia plants, and two balls, one red and one white in front of Stephen's desk. There's a tree, there's a snowman, and lots more Christmas decorations. Festive is how I would describe it! And to be fair, Stephen celebrated Hanukkah by mentioning it. He therefore gave it the Colbert Bump.

You know of course that Jim DeMint is resigning from the Senate and that Stephen would be great in that job. Well now everyone is getting on the bandwagon.Websites, twitters, tweets, Facebooks -- it's all out there, set up by fans and one would assume, patriotic South Carolinians. The mainstream media is discussing the pros and pros of him being appointed Senator to replace DeMint.

Stephen pointed out that he is the best choice because he tops the Public Policy Poll with 20% of the good people in South Carolina choosing Stephen. Here's the numbers that Stephen shared with us last night.

Stephen Colbert  20%
Tim Scott  15%
Trey Gowdy  14%
Jenny Sanford  11%
Henry McMaster  8%
Mark Sanford  8%


Stephen also had some wonderful, um, suggestions, no, incentives, no, um, random thoughts, yes, random thoughts about why he should be appointed as Senator to replace the outgoing Jim DeMint. Another point to consider, nearly 12,000 people tweeted Governor Nikki Haley and urged her to make Stephen the next Senator from South Carolina. It seems almost certain that it's a done deal. Until you hear what Nikki Haley said on her Facebook page. She was ever so grateful for all the tweets but is apparently holding a grudge. When she was on The Colbert Report in April, she had some trivia questions for Stephen. Sadly, he did not correctly answer that Milk is the State Drink.

Automatic disqualification, right? No, because she did not know the state amphibian. Stephen knows and Stephen said, "So Nation, do not give up the fight. Keep tweeting @nikkihaley why I'd make an ideal Senator (using the hashtag) #spottedsalamander."

Stephen then discussed presidential politics. This is somewhat confusing and hard to follow. But I'll do my best. Over at Fox, they had hopes of David Petraeus running for president and Rupert Murdoch would bankroll it and Roger Ailes would manage it. Stephen then also briefly mentioned John McCain and Honey Boo Boo.

Stephen reminded us again about the need for someone to be Senator for South Carolina.

Diana Krall, jazz singer and pianist, was Stephen's guest. Her latest album is Glad Rag Doll. She sang that song from the album. Then a commercial and a real treat after that. Diana Krall played the piano and Stephen sang along with Elvis Costello. Marc Ribot accompanied her for both songs on the guitar. Just go on over to Colbert Nation and listen to both songs. I won't say what the other song was but let's just say that you should have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Very nice, very nice. Good night, everybody.

Middle Earth

I realized that I have created a trilogy of posts about last Thursday's show. I just felt compelled to split it into three sections instead of my normal "one show / one post" for my blog. So here is the third and final installment which is bittersweet. Thursday's show was the last one for Hobbit Week.

So -- last post, last show of Hobbit Week, last part of the show, therefore the guest interview. It was Peter Jackson, director of "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey." By all appearances, Peter Jackson is more than a friend of the show, he is a friend of the host of the show! As a matter of fact, he even invited Stephen and his family to New Zealand when the "The Hobbit" was being filmed. That is important, not so much then, not so much now, but it will be important a year from now.

Stephen and his guest got all technical discussing the film. "Why 3D?" asked Stephen.Well, it makes for a better movie, obviously. And it is shot at 48 frames per second. If you want, stop for one second and count to 48. That's fast, isn't it? (This is nothing new for me. I sometimes TiVo The Colbert Report and then watch it on faster speed. I can see the whole show in about two or three minutes. Maybe that is what it's like with 48 frames per second. But I digress.) They also talked about Gollum. He is way better in this film because he has more muscles in his face. More muscles in his face mean better facial expressions. I think that will make Gollum more lovable.

Peter Jackson admitted to Stephen that he, Peter, did have a cameo in "The Hobbit," in the first six or seven minutes. Even though Stephen has seen the movie, he did not spot the cameo by Peter Jackson. The only solution for that is for Stephen to go see the movie again. You just know that's a no brainer. Stephen is a huge** fan of all things and everything Hobbit so yes, of course he will go see the movie again.

And, perhaps you should go see "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" when it comes out on December 14 at a theater near you, or maybe far, it all depends I guess on where you live and if it is a big city with lots of movie theaters. But go see it somewhere and soon. Stephen will thank you for it and he might just be in the audience.

**(the word "huge" is a trademark of Donald Trump)

Wax On Wax Off

Well, if you have been paying attention, you know that Stephen Colbert can be seen anytime in the Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Washington D.C. And he is in good company. We know this because Stephen toured Madame Tussauds Wax Museum on his show Thursday night. His guide, Dan Rogoski, was extremely patient.  George Washington was there and what a coincidence that he is in the Washington D.C. location! Other presidents include Abraham Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Tiger Woods was there all over the place. Many Hollywood stars were there, e.g. George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez, and Johnny Depp.

Stephen sat for measurements, patterns, and molds, in what was somewhat humiliating for him and humorous for the folks taking all the measurements. Then the work began to get a framework, paint eyeballs, sculpt those ears just so, and all the other details in order to get a facsimile of Stephen Colbert. It was well worth it as we got to see, "one, two, me," the unveiling of the best statue in the museum.

About the only problem I can see is that on their sitemap, they have Stephen listed under Hollywood Stars. Perhaps there's not a better category for him, although Cultural Figures (Madame Tussaud, Juliette Gordon Low, Buzz Aldrin, Harriet Tubman) or Music Stars, (Marvin Gaye, Duke Ellington, Taylor Swift) or Presidents (Thomas Jefferson, Richard Nixon and George W. Bush, ) since Stephen is presidential, might be better categories.

Now we can all see Stephen Colbert in wax any time that we want. The museum is open every day of the year. The only thing you need to worry about, and this might be a game changer, is that you are not allowed to lick the statues.

# Senator Colbert

If there was a Humility Award, Stephen would win First Place every year. And that is very important for the first big news of the night on last night's show. Senator Jim DeMint is resigning.

Even bigger is the news that someone will need to replace him. It should be someone, according to Stephen Colbert, who is young, conservative, from South Carolina, maybe has a Super PAC.... Do you know who that would be? Yes. It most certainly is Stephen Colbert. And who has the power to make Stephen Colbert the next senator from South Carolina? That would be Governor Nikki Haley.

Friend-Of-The-Show Nikki Haley.

She was on The Colbert Report and obviously got The Colbert Bump when she was on. I'm not saying that automatically means she should appoint Stephen, but hey! It's the decent thing to do.

Unfortunately, I found this which puts a damper on the best news for our nation. Stephen had urged the Colbert Nation to contact Governor Nikki Haley (@nikkihaley) and tell her to do the right thing using #senatorcolbert. You can still try. Maybe it will help. Stephen is well equipped to fill the shoes of the departing Senator Jim DeMint. And, you know what that means, right?

Shut Up, I Wasn't Talking To You

Where's Stephen? Where is Stephen? Blink, there he is just like magic. He wasn't there, then he was there, and he had a ring.... Strange, isn't it?

We learned about some delicious food and where to get it. That's right, Hobbit Food at Denny's. How does it taste? How long will it be there? I do not know, but now I'm hungry.

The next segment on the show started out all cute and cuddly about babies and then quickly turned rotten. In The Word, Stephen exposed what someone else had already exposed about tutors and cheating. It's gotten to the point where you practically have to pack your tutor in your suitcase when you go to college so that he, or she, can continue to cheat for you and make sure that while you will perhaps enjoy the college experience, you won't learn anything. It just keeps going and going and going until one day a patient happens to wake up in surgery and hears this, "Nurse, pass the knifey thing."

Pity the Pollsters. Those people who call you during supper and ask all sorts of questions are still doing that even though the election is done. Public Policy Polling found that 49% of GOP voters nationally think ACORN stole the election for President Obama. This is incredible since ACORN ceased to exist two years ago!

Did Rick Santorum convince the Senate not to vote for disabled people all over the world? Or did he just nudge open the Pandora's Box and they would have voted that way anyway? Even Bob Dole showed up, in a wheelchair, to urge the Senate to vote on the treaty. They thanked him and then voted No.

The show almost came to a screeching halt, but luckily, Stephen was allowed to pass (courtesy of a former guest this week) and go over to greet (?) his guest. Stephen is nimble, I will admit. Oh, yes, his guest was Andy Serkis. He plays the part of Gollum and I was quite surprised to see what makeup and good lighting on the set of The Colbert Report can do. Andy Serkis looks handsome. His hair isn't straggly at all. His ears and hands don't look as large as they are in the movie. If it's true that clothes make the man, well, he sure proves it. And he's taller than I thought he would be. I thought I would be a little bit put off by him, but he's not even that scary or strange.

As a real treat for the viewers and audience, Stephen had a clip from the movie The Hobbit showing Bilbo and Gollum. This was great because we got to see a little of the movie for free and also because when we do see the movie in the theaters, when this part comes on, we can run out quickly for some more popcorn! We already know what happens so we won't miss a thing.

And Stephen disappeared, just as magically as he had first appeared. That is some kind of ring!

Hobbits Can Hold Their Own

Stephen was blowing smoke rings. Well, not rings actually, but, something that reminded me of the letter "C". I think it had to be special effects or maybe he is just that talented.

Do you trust your gut? Maybe you do now, but as you get older, statistically you are less likely to listen to your gut. (Stephen went somewhere with this line of thought, and for once, I saw it coming.) Yes sometimes older people will believe anything you tell them.

Are you a man who suffers from Low-T? In the old days, that was known as getting older. Stephen told us about a wonderful (sort of ) product to treat Low-T. It does not have a side effect. It does have dozens of side effects though. You need to make sure you don't get any of the special gel on your lady friend or on your kids. You also need to make sure you wash the bottle that the gel came in after you have handled it. And then you need to wash the sink handles. Or take Stephen's suggestion and just have a steady supply of fresh sink handles in a basket next to the sink. Remember, you need to be sure to have no contact with women after using this product that will help with the Low-T problem.

Are you a woman who suffers from Lot-T? What? T for women? I thought that was just for men. In fact, I thought that was part of what made them different. Well, 11-41% of women suffer from a certain disorder. Stephen calls it Low-O (trademarked) and claims that at those rates, it is either very rare or perfectly normal. Funny thing, it actually is the same stuff that treats Low-T.

Stephen took just a few minutes to make a trans-Atlantic call to Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. She is, as Stephen put it, preggers. Since she has been hospitalized with severe morning sickness, Stephen wanted to cheer her up a bit. I can report that she was seemingly at a loss for words and was not able to respond with clear answers to his question. I'm sure as the weeks and months go by, Stephen will check in with Kate periodically.

And then the highlight of the show. Excuse me... After the thrill of seeing Stephen, then the highlight of the show was Martin Freeman. He is Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. You may also have seen him in Sherlock, starring Benedict Cumberbatch as a modern day Sherlock Holmes and Martin Freeman as Dr. John Watson. Or you may have seen him in the British version of The Office as Tim Canterbury.  But for tonight, he played himself. Tonight's interview was actually more of a fast-paced conversation between two witty men, each trying to get in the best line while seemingly not trying to do anything other than chat. Some of the questions and comments thrown around were, "Are you bored?' and "There is now a Lego Bilbo," and "Dragons are inherently sexy," and "Hobbits can hold their own." Even the best of writers would have a difficult task to try to weave all those statements into a coherent dialogue.

And yet, it was very coherent and I thought quite charming and entertaining. I enjoyed the show a lot tonight. I hope you were able to watch it on the TV machine, or else that you will be able to catch it over at Colbert Nation online. It is Hobbit Week all this week so stay tuned.

Psy Meet Bill O'Reilly

On my December 3 post I forgot to put a link for Psy. Here's a link now that has so much more than just Psy singing and dancing. Scroll down to the December 01, 2012 post: Bill O'Reilly Doesn't "Get" Gangnam Style - Hilariously.

You will get to see Psy plus clips from Psy on other shows, such as SNL, plus wonderful commentary. And they say that Truth is stranger than Fiction. Yes it is, little pony, yes it is.

Thanks to Ruben Bolling for adding a bit of brightness to my day.

The Hobbit All Week Long

There is no greater fan than Stephen Colbert and so it is fitting that all this week it is Hobbit Week on The Colbert Report. You would not believe what the studio looks like!

But first a word about New York. Recently New York was in the news because they had a day without any murders. That is wonderful. Please try to keep doing that New York. However, there are some Grand political parties that use fear of crime to get votes for their candidates. Too bad, keep up the good work, New York.

Something that many of us know even if we don't talk about it is that the 18 to 34 year old demographic is the most important. That's what everyone is paying attention to and catering to. But there are actually people who are older than that. And at some point, housing becomes an issue with them. They can't really stay in a house and manage all the upkeep and repair and maintenance. But they are much too active and healthy to go into a nursing home. The perfect solution is Granny Pod. It's a miniature house that you can put in the backyard. That way Granny is close by and yet still can live independently. It runs about 12 foot by 24 foot, so really generous by fish house standards.

For those who can't afford the price (you won't believe how much it costs), Stephen has his own version. It's a Pee-Paw Crate. It's small enough to put on top of the car roof for vacationing and even comes with a water drip bottle that attaches to the Pee-Paw Crate.

So, The Hobbit. Stephen's first guest for Hobbit Week was none other than Sir Ian McKellen. One of the first things Stephen did was demonstrate his really cool Wizard trick. It was impressive. Sir Ian has a 50 year career in acting, but finally he got something good. (humorous comment by Stephen) Sir Ian is also into politics and is a gay rights advocate. He makes it seem heroic.

Over at Sir Ian McKellen's website, on the activism page, I found this, "Clergy can pronounce on anything, politicians on everything, but actors should stick to acting. I've been on occasion lambasted for expressing my views by the very journalists who have enquired about them!"

After watching the show tonight, I thought of a great idea. Stephen should be on one of the many trivia game shows on TV. The only category allowed would be The Hobbit. Stephen would win every time! He has an amazing store of facts in his head about all things Hobbit.

Je Ne Sais Quoi

I don't know what that means, but Stephen said it on last Thursday's show and it sounded cool and dare I say it, sexy.

I know I am late getting this posted, but since last Thursday's show I have been waving my hands through molasses. Sadly, I am no closer to understanding Higgs Boson. Luckily, that means I am in the same intellectual company as Stephen, so hurray for me. Stephen's guest was  Sean Carroll. You can learn more about him over at PreposterousUniverse. It's a neat website, you can learn a lot about stuff and see his latest book, "The Particle at the End of the Universe: How the Hunt for the Higgs Boson Leads Us to the Edge of a New World." Sean Carroll is a really smart individual (smarter than Stephen if you can believe that) but he seems like just a normal guy.

We learned that "God Particle" is not necessarily a good name for the Higgs Boson. That is more of a marketing ploy, used to show how important the particle is. By the way, it is very tiny, smaller than half an ant, smaller than a grain of rice, really really small. Over in Switzerland, they speed up the particles very fast. On a scale of 1 to Speed of Light, it's 99.999% the speed of light, so yes, fast. This cost about $9 billion but it's worth it because it made scientists happy.

There was more explanation, including talking about waving your hands through air and through molasses. Stephen said he is intellectually hydroplaning over the explanation, not because he is incapable of understanding it, but because obviously Sean Carroll is bad at explaining things. Go buy the book, read it and then explain it to Stephen and me.

Back to the beginning of the show where I really should have started. Boeing says that now that gay marriage (marriage equality) is legal in the state of Washington, they have plans to deny at least some benefits to married gay couples. University of Colorado will have segregated dorms for those with gun permits. So far, no one has signed up to live in that dorm. There is that old Mayan prediction that on December 31, 2012, the year will end. Time will tell. Stephen has a list of his favorite numbers which conveniently rearranges numbers making his book #1 best seller even though it's not. Go buy Stephen's book this week. You know you're going to buy it eventually, make Stephen happy and make his book #1 (the real #1). Note: In honor of a current bestseller book, Stephen had a tribute to Bill O'Reilly. It was touching.

Here's something else you can do. Go over here and vote for Stephen to make him #1. There is someone from South Korea who is better than him. It's not Rain, it's Psy! Go vote. Let's make Stephen #1.