Baby It's Cold Outside

The Fiscal Cliff is coming to town. Yes, it's that time of year when everything bad you ever thought might happen, will happen unless Congress gets its act together and acts. Of course, both sides go back and forth saying who's to blame. Some even say that the White House is daring Republicans to blink. Joke's on Obama - Stephen knows some Republicans who have had their eyelids surgically removed. (Here's looking at you, Michele Bachmann!)

John Boehner has a plan to cut spending by demanding that Obama comes up with his plan, but all that does is set up a neat Mad Libs scenario. Stephen even had an example of a short Mad Libs from the 2013  G.O.P. Budget:

We agree to cut ten bazillion from the program that gives ukuleles to the sticky poor. toilet-boobs!

Stephen had his Threat Down segment on last night. It always scares me when he exposes all these threats. Sometimes I'm so stunned I miss half of what he says. That being said, North Korean archaeologists have found an ancient unicorn lair. They know it is a unicorn lair because if you go "200 meters from the Yongmyong Temple in Pyongyang City" you can find "A rectangular rock carved with the words 'Unicorn Lair' ..."

The reason this is a threat is that young girls universally love unicorns. If North Korea plays this right (or wrong depending on your perspective) young girls will be drawn into Communism because of the lure of unicorns.

Next, Stephen talked about the Recession. It seems even construction workers end up staying home with the kids. To appeal to this market of consumers, there is now a Barbie Doll that is a construction worker. This is a bad idea and Stephen demonstrated why. (Barbie does not have load bearing ankles.) Barbie is also the cause of the Recession, according to Stephen, because she is hogging all the jobs. He had examples: doctor, astronaut, race car driver, police officer, flight attendant, computer engineer, fire fighter, dentist, paleontologist, and a Fox News anchor.

Did you know there is a war against the gays? Luckily, California Governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill, a gay "reparative therapy" ban, because reparative therapy is "based on junk science." (It is interesting that Stephen had a tiny segment about Michele Bachmann on at the beginning of the show and yet he did not mention her in this segment. Maybe that's because it's old news, and yet, old news is still news.)

We got to see highlights of the most effective "anti-gay therapies." These therapies included, and I'm paraphrasing here, making orange juice, playing tennis, going into a locker room, and visiting a bath house. Stephen mentioned that along with banning such therapies, we also have given up trying to cure left-handedness.

The guest last night was  Malcolm Gladwell, and he brought with him "The Big New Yorker Book of Dogs." Stephen got him to admit that he, Gladwell, does not actually own a dog. He claims it is because his building does not allow dogs. However, he is still a dog lover. A few years back, he saved a dog that was on death row after being wrongly convicted of biting a young girl!


In one of those rare nights, Stephen had a second guest. Friend of the show, Audra McDonald, joined Stephen at the end of the show for a wonderful treat. She and Stephen sang, "Baby, It's Cold Out There." And again, impressive. Both are so talented, great way to end the show.