Stephen was so convincing that I just had to go to COLBERTPAC.com and join.
Now I can claim to be one of a group of millions who are
"Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow."
My whole life has changed since joining. I feel older. I know I'm getting smarter. Every time I see Michele Bachmann or Tim Pawlenty or Sarah Palin or Mike Huckabee, I can smile because I know that I am in the PAC that is better than all those PACs put together.
But enough about me. On to the important stuff. Stephen found out last night that you can use PAC money to pay for jet travel. And that you need to comply with rules and fill out forms and things of that nature, but no one has gone to jail for making boo boos about PAC stuff. So, that sounds intriguing.
I mentioned other people who have PACs and I did not know, but huckpac means "out after Iowa" in the Klingon language. Stephen talked about Tim Pawlenty and his thunderous handshake last night. Well, you can do amazing things with audio-visual equipment nowadays. oops. I guess it's called technology now, not AV. You might remember that Stephen has aired the Pawlenty PAC ad and then determined that Pawlenty is running for the Brawny man. You probably haven't seen, but Pawlenty, who is from Minnesota, has all of a sudden developed a deep south accent when he is speaking in states south of Minnesota.
But moving on. I just think someone needs to talk about this Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert BFF situation. (That's Best Friends Forever, if you don't know.) Both of them have talked about being BFFs for 6 months. That's not exactly forever!!!
Regardless of that problem though, go to DonorsChoose.org/Fallon-Colbert-Project anyway and donate. It helps kids, so that's good.
And then hopefully soon we can get past both of them having to say, "I never said that."
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I Never Said That
Apparently I can not read Stephen's mind. Hypnotizing didn't seem to work either. I didn't see that coming! I will have to work harder at these skills and try again in the future.
Moving on.
I'm sure you all remember when Stephen told us that Jimmy Fallon will match $26,000 of his own money to benefit Donors Choose.
However, on Jimmy Fallon's show last night, Jimmy said, "I never said that."
And this would be what we call a conundrum. The only possible solution was for Stephen to go on Jimmy's show. And he did. He did not stay long and it wasn't a pretty sight.
After Stephen quickly exited the show, Jimmy admitted the only way to come to a reasonable solution was for everyone to help by sending money by Friday. If enough money comes in, Jimmy promised, Promised!!!, that Stephen will come on the Jimmy Fallon Show and sing Rebecca Black's song - "Friday" - with Roots.
Cut back to Stephen Colbert where he is surprised by this singing engagement and said, "This comes as a surprise to me!" or something very similar.
For two people who are supposedly BFFs for six months, the friendship does not seem that strong. I'm just saying.
What everyone needs to do, according to Jimmy Fallon, is to go to
donorschoose.org/fallon-colbert-project and donate.
Or not as Stephen would say. You can also go to colbertnation for more information.
Moving on.
I'm sure you all remember when Stephen told us that Jimmy Fallon will match $26,000 of his own money to benefit Donors Choose.
However, on Jimmy Fallon's show last night, Jimmy said, "I never said that."
And this would be what we call a conundrum. The only possible solution was for Stephen to go on Jimmy's show. And he did. He did not stay long and it wasn't a pretty sight.
After Stephen quickly exited the show, Jimmy admitted the only way to come to a reasonable solution was for everyone to help by sending money by Friday. If enough money comes in, Jimmy promised, Promised!!!, that Stephen will come on the Jimmy Fallon Show and sing Rebecca Black's song - "Friday" - with Roots.
Cut back to Stephen Colbert where he is surprised by this singing engagement and said, "This comes as a surprise to me!" or something very similar.
For two people who are supposedly BFFs for six months, the friendship does not seem that strong. I'm just saying.
What everyone needs to do, according to Jimmy Fallon, is to go to
donorschoose.org/fallon-colbert-project and donate.
Or not as Stephen would say. You can also go to colbertnation for more information.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Can I Read Stephen's Mind?
I'm going to keep trying to guess what Stephen will talk about. Let me rephrase that. I'm going to try to read Stephen's mind.
I've seen a little bit of a story about Rick Santorum and his theory about why Social Security is in big trouble. He blames abortions. Old people will not get money because young people have an abortion. Yes, it does sound convoluted.
His thinking process is that there aren't enough workers to support Social Security payments. I looked at some comments from one article about this. While you often will see a range of comments about stuff on the internet, this story seemed to have only one type of comment.
It's about jobs, stupid.
There are plenty of workers. Plenty of very qualified workers willing to work hard. But they can't find jobs.
That seems to make Mr. Santorum look, well, not even as bright as a small appliance bulb. Every week there are stories about people with engineering degrees and teaching degrees and all sorts of college degrees who cannot find a job anywhere.
And as a matter of fact, considering the job situation, if there were even more people, there would be even more unemployment, more welfare payments, and probably, for desperate people, more bank robbers. So his rationale actually seems to support the need for more abortions or at least for comprehensive birth control.
So, now let's see if Stephen talks about Rick Santorum tonight.
If I continue to be unsuccessful in reading his mind about what he will talk about on the show, my next plan will be to hypnotize him and tell him what to talk about and make him think that it was his idea.
Oh, maybe he's just a slow reader. Maybe tonight he will talk about the Cobra on the Lam and then tomorrow night he will talk about Rick Santorum.
Less than six hours until we will know.
Monday, March 28, 2011
A Proud Tool of Viacom
Earlier today, I had predicted that Stephen Colbert would discuss the escaped Cobra over at the Bronx Zoo on tonight's episode. But he did not. But Jon Stewart did. Therefore, two points for the snake, one point for Jon Stewart, zero points for Stephen Colbert and zero points for me.
Interestingly enough, he did talk about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire.
WGBH American Experience - Triangle Fire
Daily Kos - Triangle: Remembering the Fire
Cornell University - The Triangle Factory Fire ~ 100 Years Later
It's been 100 years since that tragedy. That tragedy just naturally led to Stephen talking about the Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, and Walker's decision to strip teachers and other public union members of their collective bargaining rights.
Scapegoat found!
Tonight's guest was Roger Moore, oops, Stephen meant Michael Moore. Easy mistake, or was it? When Stephen then mentioned James Bond, it made me think that it was an intentional mistake. Michael Moore talked with Stephen about the importance of Unions in building a middle class in this country. Such things as vacation, pension, and the ending of using children as factory workers are just a few of the important concepts we can thank the Unions for.
And when Michael Moore explained that Stephen was a tool of Viacom, Stephen looked right into the camera and corrected him.
"I'm a Proud tool of Viacom!"
Interestingly enough, he did talk about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire.
WGBH American Experience - Triangle Fire
Daily Kos - Triangle: Remembering the Fire
Cornell University - The Triangle Factory Fire ~ 100 Years Later
It's been 100 years since that tragedy. That tragedy just naturally led to Stephen talking about the Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, and Walker's decision to strip teachers and other public union members of their collective bargaining rights.
Scapegoat found!
Tonight's guest was Roger Moore, oops, Stephen meant Michael Moore. Easy mistake, or was it? When Stephen then mentioned James Bond, it made me think that it was an intentional mistake. Michael Moore talked with Stephen about the importance of Unions in building a middle class in this country. Such things as vacation, pension, and the ending of using children as factory workers are just a few of the important concepts we can thank the Unions for.
And when Michael Moore explained that Stephen was a tool of Viacom, Stephen looked right into the camera and corrected him.
"I'm a Proud tool of Viacom!"
Cobra On the Lam
It's been a while since Stephen has had a "Monkey on the Lam" segment on The Colbert Report. I'm hoping tonight he will debut a new segment - "Cobra on the Lam".
Apparently, at the Bronx Zoo in New York, an Egyptian Cobra is, umh, missing. Awkward!
Here's a short bit of information and a photo over at NPR about the snake.
By some accounts, Cleopatra committed suicide by letting an Egyptian Cobra, also known as an asp, (Stephen, insert joke here) bite her. Maybe, maybe not, but you can read about that at Wikipedia.
So, will Stephen talk about this tonight? It sure seems like the kind of story that he thinks his viewers need to know about.
And a word to the wise: Avoid Snake House at Bronx Zoo this week!
Apparently, at the Bronx Zoo in New York, an Egyptian Cobra is, umh, missing. Awkward!
Here's a short bit of information and a photo over at NPR about the snake.
By some accounts, Cleopatra committed suicide by letting an Egyptian Cobra, also known as an asp, (Stephen, insert joke here) bite her. Maybe, maybe not, but you can read about that at Wikipedia.
So, will Stephen talk about this tonight? It sure seems like the kind of story that he thinks his viewers need to know about.
And a word to the wise: Avoid Snake House at Bronx Zoo this week!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire
Today is the 100th Anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire. I'm sure Stephen would have talked about it if he had been on the air on a Friday.
You should read about it if you don't know what it was. It puts the events in Madison in perspective. There's a reason Unions are important.
WGBH American Experience - Triangle Fire
Daily Kos - Triangle: Remembering the Fire
Cornell University - The Triangle Factory Fire ~ 100 Years Later
You should read about it if you don't know what it was. It puts the events in Madison in perspective. There's a reason Unions are important.
WGBH American Experience - Triangle Fire
Daily Kos - Triangle: Remembering the Fire
Cornell University - The Triangle Factory Fire ~ 100 Years Later
Thursday, March 24, 2011
It's Happening, It's Happening, It Happened
Stephen's portrait was auctioned off and fetched a whopping $26,000. That's a little bit short of the $5,000,000 he was hoping for, but still that's a pretty good price. And, according to Stephen, friend of the show Jimmy Fallon will match that $26,000 with $26,000 of his own money! And all of that will benefit Donors Choose.
If you did not see last night's show, you can go to Colbert Nation to see the auction. You really should watch the auction. You can also watch the most unique cook I have seen so far, Nathan Myhrvold, and his Modernist Cuisine.
And again Stephen reminds us to text REDCROSS to 90999 or go to Red Cross on the internet to help out Japan after the earthquake and tsunami.
If you did not see last night's show, you can go to Colbert Nation to see the auction. You really should watch the auction. You can also watch the most unique cook I have seen so far, Nathan Myhrvold, and his Modernist Cuisine.
And again Stephen reminds us to text REDCROSS to 90999 or go to Red Cross on the internet to help out Japan after the earthquake and tsunami.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Googly Eyed Clams
Is there anything that Stephen Colbert can't do? The list of his accomplishments and talents would take up too much space here, so I'll just go with his latest.
Artist.
Watch last night's show at Colbert Nation. We see Stephen in a comfortable setting for him - high society art show. Well maybe just a tiny bit awkward.
Don't miss tonight's show. You will get to see what true art is worth and we're talking millions of dollars here.
Tune in for sure.
Artist.
Watch last night's show at Colbert Nation. We see Stephen in a comfortable setting for him - high society art show. Well maybe just a tiny bit awkward.
Don't miss tonight's show. You will get to see what true art is worth and we're talking millions of dollars here.
Tune in for sure.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Yeah Baby I'm Back
Not me of course, but Stephen is back on my TV and I assume on yours as well.
First things first. Japan. You can help my texting
REDCROSS to 90999
- or -
go to American Red Cross to donate.
Lots on the show last night. Stephen mentioned that the last time his guest, Steve Martin, was on the show, Stephen Colbert's portrait was auctioned with DonorsChoose benefiting and providing arts education in public schools. Stephen discussed art with Simone de Pury and you really should go to Colbert Nation and watch that episode. It's good and also you can watch and listen to Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers. Great Bluegrass music, and we all need more of that in our daily lives.
The highlight of the show has got to be the last 5 seconds when Stephen, not Steve, played the first 9 notes of Dueling Banjos on the banjo. Now that is talent. So go watch the whole episode if you did not see it last night.
First things first. Japan. You can help my texting
REDCROSS to 90999
- or -
go to American Red Cross to donate.
Lots on the show last night. Stephen mentioned that the last time his guest, Steve Martin, was on the show, Stephen Colbert's portrait was auctioned with DonorsChoose benefiting and providing arts education in public schools. Stephen discussed art with Simone de Pury and you really should go to Colbert Nation and watch that episode. It's good and also you can watch and listen to Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers. Great Bluegrass music, and we all need more of that in our daily lives.
The highlight of the show has got to be the last 5 seconds when Stephen, not Steve, played the first 9 notes of Dueling Banjos on the banjo. Now that is talent. So go watch the whole episode if you did not see it last night.
Friday, March 18, 2011
It's Just a Matter of Time
As you know, Stephen wants an iPad 2. It's been almost a year since he got the first one, so how much longer will he have to wait? And that is my question on my first poll here, well, I'll rephrase it some. But if you want to mull this over and then give your opinion, you can do so on the right hand side in the poll. If you do not know the answer, feel free to skip this poll. I will leave the poll up for a while, so do research, ask your friends, and then put your answer down for all eternity.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Give Stephen an iPad 2
It's repeats this week, but last night was a very important show. In it, Stephen casually mentions that having an iPad 2 would be nice.
It's not as if he begged or demanded or cried or complained. That is not how he conducts himself.
It's just a very simple idea. Stephen wants therefore Stephen should get. And the fact that this was the second time we saw Stephen casually mentioning that having an iPad 2 would be nice just shows that he should get one.
So, give Stephen an iPad 2.
It's not as if he begged or demanded or cried or complained. That is not how he conducts himself.
It's just a very simple idea. Stephen wants therefore Stephen should get. And the fact that this was the second time we saw Stephen casually mentioning that having an iPad 2 would be nice just shows that he should get one.
So, give Stephen an iPad 2.
Friday, March 11, 2011
TimMAY, P King, Klu and Reza
Lots of guys on last night, either in news segments or in the interview. First to mention, briefly, is Tim Pawlenty, commonly known as T-Paw, the former governor from Minnesota. Stephen aired a commercial by the former gov which sure looks to be by a guy running for president. Although Timmy (TimMAY!) has been saying for years that he's not running (nudge nudge wink wink), he also has been doing everything short of announcing that he's running that does in fact make it look like he is running for president. Although to be fair, some have also theorized that he is really running for vice president or secretary of state or any number of other jobs in Washington D.C.
(On a side issue, look at the photo here back in 2008. Is his hair gray back then?)
Anyway, the commercial was awesome, until you saw the next clip of the real Tim Pawlenty giving the actual speech. Boring.
Stephen had an awesomer commercial for himself and then announced his awesomest Political Action Committee, ColbertPAC.
Also bits about Representative Peter King, who is concerned about Muslim terrorists but was supportive of the IRA. Rep. P. King is holding hearings which have generated controversy.
Another quick mention was of Rep. Dan Lungren with just a short mention he had about investigating Ku Klux Klan and various other groups. My question, and a small question admittedly, is wouldn't you think someone who was investigating that group would be able to pronounce the name correctly? He calls them the Klu (think "clue") Klux Klan, instead of the Ku (think "coo") Klux Klan. Just two simple letters - Ku - not so hard to pronounce correctly.
But then Stephen got to a real live person for the interview, Dr. Reza Aslan. He and Stephen talked about the hearings that P. King is holding. I think many people agree that we should find out what is going on with extremist groups, but focusing on only one group doesn't make sense. Dr. Reza Aslan told Stephen that since 2001, there have been more violent extremist plots against the United States by non-Muslims than by Muslims. And then Stephen took that opportunity to get defensive when Dr. Aslan mentioned Catholics.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. Have you forgotten that you gave up Catholicism for Lent?
But it's okay, he's fine. Stephen Colbert had one, two, three good moments at the end of his show.
(On a side issue, look at the photo here back in 2008. Is his hair gray back then?)
Anyway, the commercial was awesome, until you saw the next clip of the real Tim Pawlenty giving the actual speech. Boring.
Stephen had an awesomer commercial for himself and then announced his awesomest Political Action Committee, ColbertPAC.
Also bits about Representative Peter King, who is concerned about Muslim terrorists but was supportive of the IRA. Rep. P. King is holding hearings which have generated controversy.
Another quick mention was of Rep. Dan Lungren with just a short mention he had about investigating Ku Klux Klan and various other groups. My question, and a small question admittedly, is wouldn't you think someone who was investigating that group would be able to pronounce the name correctly? He calls them the Klu (think "clue") Klux Klan, instead of the Ku (think "coo") Klux Klan. Just two simple letters - Ku - not so hard to pronounce correctly.
But then Stephen got to a real live person for the interview, Dr. Reza Aslan. He and Stephen talked about the hearings that P. King is holding. I think many people agree that we should find out what is going on with extremist groups, but focusing on only one group doesn't make sense. Dr. Reza Aslan told Stephen that since 2001, there have been more violent extremist plots against the United States by non-Muslims than by Muslims. And then Stephen took that opportunity to get defensive when Dr. Aslan mentioned Catholics.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. Have you forgotten that you gave up Catholicism for Lent?
But it's okay, he's fine. Stephen Colbert had one, two, three good moments at the end of his show.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Well, Recuuuuuuse Me!
Today Stephen announced that for Lent he is giving up Catholicism. He then immediately became Jewish and gave up not eating bacon. Joining him for a short chat was Anthony Weiner, Congressman from New York's 9th District, representing Brooklyn and Queens. I think it would be very interesting to have the chance to sit down and talk with Anthony Weiner. He seems like a really interesting guy. There was even a hint that he (Weiner, not Colbert) might run for Mayor of New York. But tonight Anthony Weiner was talking about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. There even was a website that flashed on the screen, conflictedclarencethomas.com. That pretty much explains what Anthony and Stephen were discussing, so you can read it there if you are curious.
And then the real guest was David Brooks who brought his book "The Social Animal" along with him. I admit, I was multitasking while the interview was going on and so I didn't pay as much attention as I should, but what I got out of it is that Americans aren't so good at math. Brooks had these statistics, from surveys, polls, etc. In the first one, 96% of professors in this country think they're above average in teaching skills and 19% of Americans think they are in the top 1% of earners. Hopefully you all realize that those numbers just don't add up, not that they should add up, but I'm just saying.
It's been a while since I've put a photo up to look at and I don't have a photo of Anthony Weiner, Clarence Thomas or David Brooks, so some pretty scenery will have to do. I hope you enjoy looking at it. It sure is majestic, isn't it?
Note: Title should be Well, Recuse Me! I guess the "u" key on my keyboard got stuck. Apologies to Steve Martin.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Let My People Glow
I hope that tonight's post can shed a little light on an important topic. That of course is light bulbs. Quite a bit of the show tonight was about light bulbs. While Stephen did mention Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota and her famous or infamous crusade to save the humble lightbulb with her Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act, it was actually another woman, Dale Bryk, that he talked to on the show. She is director of Natural Resources Defense Council's Air and Energy Program.
It was illuminating to hear her discuss incandescent and compact fluorescent light bulbs and the impact they will have on life as we know it. The new bulbs, CFLs, will save lots of energy and thus lots of money, so that is a good thing. A really good thing.
Regardless of the money saved, Michele Bachmann still doesn't like them. You could find out more information about her and the light bulbs by using Google. I imagine since she basically wants to dump the new fangled light bulbs, you could Google "dump" + "bachmann" and that should bring you to the information you need.
Dan Sinker was the guest tonight, but I'm not convinced that it was the real Dan Sinker, so I won't be mentioning anything more about him.
(By the way, last night's show was good I think, but I can't remember who the guest was no matter how I try, so I guess there will be no post about that show.)
In closing, the most important thing we have all learned tonight is that Stephen is still waiting for his free iPad 2. I can't believe he had to mention it again tonight. Somebody better get going and get that new iPad 2 to Stephen.
It was illuminating to hear her discuss incandescent and compact fluorescent light bulbs and the impact they will have on life as we know it. The new bulbs, CFLs, will save lots of energy and thus lots of money, so that is a good thing. A really good thing.
Regardless of the money saved, Michele Bachmann still doesn't like them. You could find out more information about her and the light bulbs by using Google. I imagine since she basically wants to dump the new fangled light bulbs, you could Google "dump" + "bachmann" and that should bring you to the information you need.
Dan Sinker was the guest tonight, but I'm not convinced that it was the real Dan Sinker, so I won't be mentioning anything more about him.
(By the way, last night's show was good I think, but I can't remember who the guest was no matter how I try, so I guess there will be no post about that show.)
In closing, the most important thing we have all learned tonight is that Stephen is still waiting for his free iPad 2. I can't believe he had to mention it again tonight. Somebody better get going and get that new iPad 2 to Stephen.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Capital Letter Equity
I want to say something about the show on Thursday and yet I have some qualms. Jimmy Fallon showed up, as did Jon Stewart. Jimmy Fallon now has a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream named after him. So, hurray for Jimmy. But, well, will this mean that people will cross over to the Fallon side and thus leave Stephen behind?
I sincerely hope not. Best thing would be for people to continue to eat the Stephen Colbert Americone Dream (Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Waffle Cone Pieces & a Caramel Swirl) as much as always and then have the Jimmy Fallon Late Night Snack (Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters) as a dessert after eating the Americone Dream Ice Cream.
I tossed and turned all weekend wondering whether or not to even mention Jimmy Fallon. But I am also a fan of Jimmy, so how could it possibly be wrong?
Okay, I'll tell you how it could be wrong. If you go to Ben & Jerry's website, you will find that a cow supposedly loves both flavors. You can even click on the cow's pink conversation bubble to watch Stephen, Jimmy and Bessy on The Colbert Report. That's fine.
But.
Click on the Flavors, and then click on Our Flavors and breeze through the seven pages of flavors. On page 2 you will find Late Night Snack (2nd row, container 3). Click on it and read the description. And then on page 3 you can find Americone Dream (2nd row, first container). Click and read about that. Now go to page 5 (bottom row, first container). There's Late Night Snack again. Click and read about that flavor again. Then go to page 6 (first row, 3rd container) to read about Americone Dream. Click and read.
Okay, that's a lot of clicking and reading. But here's my beef. Jimmy Fallon's flavors are on pages 2 and 5. Stephen Colbert's flavors are on pages 3 and 6. Why are Jimmy's flavors featured before Stephen's flavors? And here's the real kicker. On page 6, the description of Americone Dream has only one Capital Letter at the Beginning of the Sentence! That's just not fair. Both of the descriptions about Jimmy's ice creams have capital letters all over the place. Why does Stephen have only one description that is bathed in capital letters?
I know this is a lot to digest, but it just hurts so much.
Please Ben and Jerry, fix the description so that there is Capital Letter Equity for Stephen Colbert.
Note: I just updated this post with the website link for Ben and Jerry. Sorry I waited until March 10 to do so.
I sincerely hope not. Best thing would be for people to continue to eat the Stephen Colbert Americone Dream (Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Waffle Cone Pieces & a Caramel Swirl) as much as always and then have the Jimmy Fallon Late Night Snack (Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters) as a dessert after eating the Americone Dream Ice Cream.
I tossed and turned all weekend wondering whether or not to even mention Jimmy Fallon. But I am also a fan of Jimmy, so how could it possibly be wrong?
Okay, I'll tell you how it could be wrong. If you go to Ben & Jerry's website, you will find that a cow supposedly loves both flavors. You can even click on the cow's pink conversation bubble to watch Stephen, Jimmy and Bessy on The Colbert Report. That's fine.
But.
Click on the Flavors, and then click on Our Flavors and breeze through the seven pages of flavors. On page 2 you will find Late Night Snack (2nd row, container 3). Click on it and read the description. And then on page 3 you can find Americone Dream (2nd row, first container). Click and read about that. Now go to page 5 (bottom row, first container). There's Late Night Snack again. Click and read about that flavor again. Then go to page 6 (first row, 3rd container) to read about Americone Dream. Click and read.
Okay, that's a lot of clicking and reading. But here's my beef. Jimmy Fallon's flavors are on pages 2 and 5. Stephen Colbert's flavors are on pages 3 and 6. Why are Jimmy's flavors featured before Stephen's flavors? And here's the real kicker. On page 6, the description of Americone Dream has only one Capital Letter at the Beginning of the Sentence! That's just not fair. Both of the descriptions about Jimmy's ice creams have capital letters all over the place. Why does Stephen have only one description that is bathed in capital letters?
I know this is a lot to digest, but it just hurts so much.
Please Ben and Jerry, fix the description so that there is Capital Letter Equity for Stephen Colbert.
Note: I just updated this post with the website link for Ben and Jerry. Sorry I waited until March 10 to do so.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Is Your Refrigerator Running?
Before we discuss whether or not your refrigerator is running (and whether you need to stop it), a little bit about Papa Bear i.e. Bill O'Reilly.
Bill O'Reilly recently had footage on his program on FOX about the protesters in Madison, Wisconsin. Mike Tobin was reporting that supposedly they were getting out of hand. Both were hinting at the possibility of protesters being bussed in. (Now I'm not talking about Governor Walker planting troublemakers, he merely was thinking about that plan.) Bill O'Reilly ran the footage while Mike Tobin talked.
Interestingly enough, there in Madison, Wisconsin, in the cold winter, were palm trees lining the streets of Madison. I hope all of you realize that Wisconsin shares a border with Canada, so as far as palm trees growing in Wisconsin? Nah, I don't think so.
But Stephen explained it this way. O'Reilly got the film footage mixed up with something else. As he put it, "Video comes in. Video goes out. Never a miscommunication." But the real reason there were palm trees in Madison? The palm trees were being bussed in to Madison.
That brings us to the title of this post. If you've been paying attention, Governor Walker of Wisconsin is trying to bust Unions in Wisconsin. His reason for doing so is that he says it is necessary for financial reasons. However, he was recently pranked with a fake phone call where he explained that he wants to eliminate Unions.
Stephen had a short clip of Lawrence O'Donnell on his show "The Last Word" stating that "Republican legislators in Wisconsin authored a bill that would prohibit prank calls." That would mean kids could no longer call a random phone number, ask if the refrigerator was running, and then tell the person they had better go catch it.
It is Senator Mary Lazich and Representative Mark Honadel that are pushing the bill. Stephen says they have strong support from Ben Dover, Seymour Bush and Adolph Oliver Bush.
Bill O'Reilly recently had footage on his program on FOX about the protesters in Madison, Wisconsin. Mike Tobin was reporting that supposedly they were getting out of hand. Both were hinting at the possibility of protesters being bussed in. (Now I'm not talking about Governor Walker planting troublemakers, he merely was thinking about that plan.) Bill O'Reilly ran the footage while Mike Tobin talked.
Interestingly enough, there in Madison, Wisconsin, in the cold winter, were palm trees lining the streets of Madison. I hope all of you realize that Wisconsin shares a border with Canada, so as far as palm trees growing in Wisconsin? Nah, I don't think so.
But Stephen explained it this way. O'Reilly got the film footage mixed up with something else. As he put it, "Video comes in. Video goes out. Never a miscommunication." But the real reason there were palm trees in Madison? The palm trees were being bussed in to Madison.
That brings us to the title of this post. If you've been paying attention, Governor Walker of Wisconsin is trying to bust Unions in Wisconsin. His reason for doing so is that he says it is necessary for financial reasons. However, he was recently pranked with a fake phone call where he explained that he wants to eliminate Unions.
Stephen had a short clip of Lawrence O'Donnell on his show "The Last Word" stating that "Republican legislators in Wisconsin authored a bill that would prohibit prank calls." That would mean kids could no longer call a random phone number, ask if the refrigerator was running, and then tell the person they had better go catch it.
It is Senator Mary Lazich and Representative Mark Honadel that are pushing the bill. Stephen says they have strong support from Ben Dover, Seymour Bush and Adolph Oliver Bush.
Friday, February 25, 2011
I'm Not Running, Or Am I?
It's official. Stephen announced Thursday night that he is not running for President in 2012. Ah, but then he left it wide open when he added, "Or am I?"
While some might imagine that would be a good thing, think about it. Would he be able to do "The Colbert Report" if he was elected President? I don't think so. Better to have Stephen stay doing what he does best and leave the presidency to Barack Obama.
Moving on. Mike Huckabee was on the show last night. Remember way back in 2007 when Huckabee got the Colbert Bump from Stephen Colbert? Huckabee went on to win Iowa. (For those of you who are not political junkies, that does not mean that Huckabee actually won the state of Iowa and got to take it home with him. It really means that he did very well in the lead-up to when the Republicans picked a candidate.)
Huckabee also has written a book, a simple one I assume since the title is "Simple Government." Stephen says it's a Tea Party Book and he would know because he is, of course, Stephen Colbert. There's a quote that comes to mind.
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong."
H.L. Mencken
While some might imagine that would be a good thing, think about it. Would he be able to do "The Colbert Report" if he was elected President? I don't think so. Better to have Stephen stay doing what he does best and leave the presidency to Barack Obama.
Moving on. Mike Huckabee was on the show last night. Remember way back in 2007 when Huckabee got the Colbert Bump from Stephen Colbert? Huckabee went on to win Iowa. (For those of you who are not political junkies, that does not mean that Huckabee actually won the state of Iowa and got to take it home with him. It really means that he did very well in the lead-up to when the Republicans picked a candidate.)
Huckabee also has written a book, a simple one I assume since the title is "Simple Government." Stephen says it's a Tea Party Book and he would know because he is, of course, Stephen Colbert. There's a quote that comes to mind.
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong."
H.L. Mencken
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Teabaggers, Fleabaggers and Carpetbaggers * *
So, yes I watched The Colbert Report last night and it was superb as usual, but I have no commentary other than to say that modern day stretch fabrics are often used in the manufacture of clothing.
Moving on.
I caught just a few minutes of The View this morning. (Interesting isn't it that the good shows always start with "The" in their title?) Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough were the guests when I was viewing The View. (You can see a clip of Stephen Colbert here when he was on The View). In the few minutes that I watched they were talking about the Political Stalemate situation in Madison, Wisconsin. When a comment was made, I think by Joy Behar, that the purpose was to bust the Unions and in doing so, diminish the Democratic vote, Elisabeth Hasselbeck compared the Wisconsin Democrats to Fleabaggers.
Fleabaggers? Um, did she mean Carpetbaggers? Even so, I'm pretty sure she would have the comparison quite jumbled. Maybe she meant Teabaggers, but that doesn't make sense either. Maybe she thinks they are staying at Fleabag Resorts and Motels while they are away from Madison. Whatever. I don't think she is a history buff. When I look at the Wikipedia entry for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, I find that she was born Elisabeth DelPadre Filarski and her credentials for being one of the co-hosts on The View include being a contestant on Survivor: The Australian Outback in 2001, graduating with a degree in Fine Arts and working for Puma shoes. So, yeah, she's probably not much of a history buff.
Also in the Wikipedia entry I find this interesting tidbit:
"She has stated that the term 'conservative' does not define her as a person. On October 26, 2008, Hasselbeck appeared at Republican rallies in Florida, introducing Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin."
Not a conservative? Introducing Sarah Palin? Oxymoron?
Anyway, maybe it's time for Stephen to invite Elisabeth Hasselbeck to go from The View to The Colbert Report so that they can together solve this gridlock in Madison, Wisconsin.
On Wisconsin!
* * Note: Image of Bucky Badger just after the title of this post in no way indicates that Bucky Badger is to be considered a Teabagger, Fleabagger or Carpetbagger. Bucky Badger is a beloved icon and mascot and worthy of as much admiration and respect as we give to Stephen Colbert.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Will the Real Ronald Reagan Please Stand Up !
Not much time to write tonight. I didn't catch the beginning of the show. I only saw Stephen talking about Rick Santorum briefly and then Stephen did the interview. Tonight Stephen's interview was with Eugene Jarecki. Mr. Jarecki has a documentary about Ronald Reagan, the real Ronald Reagan, which is being shown on HBO. What we hear about so often today is a myth. For example, Ronald Reagan raised taxes 6 out of the 8 years he was in office and yet you keep hearing people say that Reagan is the poster boy for cutting taxes. Not so! I did a little googling on the internet machine about this topic. Most people who are knowledgeable about Reagan know he would not have been in or of the Tea Party. Go read about it if interested.
Now, if only I had HBO, I could watch the documentary myself and report to you what it was about. Alas, one can only hope that Stephen will watch it for us and do a report on a later show.
Now, if only I had HBO, I could watch the documentary myself and report to you what it was about. Alas, one can only hope that Stephen will watch it for us and do a report on a later show.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Stephen Gets Served and It's Not Ice Cream
After talking briefly about The Colbuffington Re-Post, Stephen welcomed Jeffrey Leonard of Washington Monthly. They chatted about small businesses and large businesses and government and were really getting deep into the subject. But then Stephen put his foot in his mouth.
Yes, it can happen. I don't remember the details exactly. I was so taken back by his faux pas. But it did indeed happen.
"Mr. Colbert."
Whoa. The last time he got served like that was when he interviewed Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. He deserved it. There I said it. All sorts of lessons in civics and logic when he interviewed Congresswoman Norton. Did you know she can't actually vote in Congress? It's true, strange, but true. Watch the interview here.
But getting back to Jeffrey Leonard, the interview was short but one important point was that some small businesses are often struggling to make it in this economy. One problem? Big business. It happens often that a small business will provide goods or services to big businesses. But then the big business takes a long time to pay the bill. It's called Net-60. Meaning they take 60 days to pay the bills instead of 30 like they should if they were playing fair. Sometimes they take even longer, 90 or 120 days. That's as long as 4 months!
Their excuse??? Everyone else does it. Yeah, right. Like that's ever a good excuse. Puhlease.
Yes, it can happen. I don't remember the details exactly. I was so taken back by his faux pas. But it did indeed happen.
"Mr. Colbert."
Whoa. The last time he got served like that was when he interviewed Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton. He deserved it. There I said it. All sorts of lessons in civics and logic when he interviewed Congresswoman Norton. Did you know she can't actually vote in Congress? It's true, strange, but true. Watch the interview here.
But getting back to Jeffrey Leonard, the interview was short but one important point was that some small businesses are often struggling to make it in this economy. One problem? Big business. It happens often that a small business will provide goods or services to big businesses. But then the big business takes a long time to pay the bill. It's called Net-60. Meaning they take 60 days to pay the bills instead of 30 like they should if they were playing fair. Sometimes they take even longer, 90 or 120 days. That's as long as 4 months!
Their excuse??? Everyone else does it. Yeah, right. Like that's ever a good excuse. Puhlease.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Eat Up America
Where were you four years ago tonight? Do you remember? Well, you should. That was the night that Stephen Colbert first introduced Ben & Jerry's newest flavor in honor of Stephen. Yep, Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream.
Yummy.
Starting February 15, it will now be available at Ben and Jerry Scoop Shops everywhere.
And for one day only on February 15, you can get 2 scoops for the price of 1. Dream on, America.
And for the next year, all of Stephen's proceeds from Americone Dream will go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
So, get off that couch and go buy some ice cream. It will taste delicious and you will be helping a great cause. Plus it will make Stephen feel good because he looks charitable and he doesn't even have to spend money to look so generous.
Yummy.
Starting February 15, it will now be available at Ben and Jerry Scoop Shops everywhere.
And for one day only on February 15, you can get 2 scoops for the price of 1. Dream on, America.
And for the next year, all of Stephen's proceeds from Americone Dream will go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund.
So, get off that couch and go buy some ice cream. It will taste delicious and you will be helping a great cause. Plus it will make Stephen feel good because he looks charitable and he doesn't even have to spend money to look so generous.
Happy Valentines Day
Stephen should be back tonight if I'm not mistaken. (And I'm never mistaken.) So, February 14 we will see him again.
Something interesting that I have noticed through the years is that at the start of every show, the crowd usually chants, "stephen, stephen, stephen. Stephen. Stephen. Stephen. Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! STEPHEN!! STEPHEN! STEPHEN!!! STEPHEN! Stephen."
It always starts quietly and then builds to a loud roar and then dies down again. I tend to count how many times his name is chanted. It varies or course. And can you really call it chanting if only one person is saying it?
But here's my point and I do have one. It seems to be about 14 times that his name is chanted loudly enough to be called chanting. And today is the 14th. And today is all about Love. So it is no coincidence that 14 is the same number for both of these occurrences. People love Stephen Colbert. No other conclusion fits the truthiness test.
So, from all of America, Happy Valentines Day Stephen Colbert.
Or perhaps I should say, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day, Happy Valentines Day.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Best Halftime Show Ever
Okay, I don't know if it was the best Halftime Show ever. But I have been reading that some people think it was the worst. Oh, those critics.
As usual, I go to my source for all things important, Wikipedia. Here is a list of Super Bowl Halftime Shows. Look them over and remember. Indiana Jones, really? George Burns and Mickey Rooney? Yes, I thought so. Now you are thinking that this year's show with the Black Eyed Peas was if not the best moment of your life, at least enjoyable.
And the costumes, well none of them malfunctioned if you know what I mean. In fact, I read somewhere, and I'm sorry but I won't apologize for not remembering where I read it, that the dancer costumes came from Just for Kix, up in Baxter, Minnesota. I looked on Google maps and that seems to be a small town west of Brainerd. I would have a hard time deciding what to wear just to watch the Super Bowl. I can't imagine what it was like to get all those costumes together and get the right sizes and make sure that all of them worked.
But here's something that not many of you have realized. Stephen is on vacation this week. There were lots of dancers in the Super Bowl halftime show. Stephen can dance. It was often dark in the Super Bowl. Stephen can dance. Stephen is on vacation. Aha. You see what I'm thinking? Maybe Stephen was one of those dancers and if in fact he was, well then by the Distributive Property, it was the Best Halftime Show Ever.
As usual, I go to my source for all things important, Wikipedia. Here is a list of Super Bowl Halftime Shows. Look them over and remember. Indiana Jones, really? George Burns and Mickey Rooney? Yes, I thought so. Now you are thinking that this year's show with the Black Eyed Peas was if not the best moment of your life, at least enjoyable.
And the costumes, well none of them malfunctioned if you know what I mean. In fact, I read somewhere, and I'm sorry but I won't apologize for not remembering where I read it, that the dancer costumes came from Just for Kix, up in Baxter, Minnesota. I looked on Google maps and that seems to be a small town west of Brainerd. I would have a hard time deciding what to wear just to watch the Super Bowl. I can't imagine what it was like to get all those costumes together and get the right sizes and make sure that all of them worked.
But here's something that not many of you have realized. Stephen is on vacation this week. There were lots of dancers in the Super Bowl halftime show. Stephen can dance. It was often dark in the Super Bowl. Stephen can dance. Stephen is on vacation. Aha. You see what I'm thinking? Maybe Stephen was one of those dancers and if in fact he was, well then by the Distributive Property, it was the Best Halftime Show Ever.
Monday, February 7, 2011
O! Say Can You See
Stephen is on vacation this week. I wonder if he watched the Superbowl. Probably. I wonder if he noticed that Christina Aguilera got the lyrics mixed up a bit when she sang the National Anthem. Probably. And I wonder if he would mention it on The Colbert Report if he was actually working this week. Probably.
But he's on vacation, so I will defend Christina Aguilera for her flubs.
The reason it happens is, and I hope Stephen forgives me for being a teeny tiny teeny tiny bit unpatriotic here, our National Anthem is not an easy song to sing.
For the average Stephen on the street, some of the notes are too low or some are too high. The lyrics are often, and I do mean often, messed up. There have even been videos (long time ago) of guys who started singing our National Anthem and by the time they were done had gotten some of the Pledge of Allegiance and also the 23rd Psalm mixed in with the verse. So, yep it was not good that she messed up, but lots of people do.
To prove my point, take this test. Without singing the song or humming it, write down the lyrics. It might be easier if you sing, but just do the lyrics. I'm willing to bet you make at least some mistakes even if it's just a word or two spelled wrong. To check to see if you are right, look at the Wikipedia article on The Star-Spangled Banner.
The internet is an interesting place to poke around. I read the whole article on The Star-Spangled Banner including the part about Isaac Asimov's short story, "No Refuge Could Save." The main character was able to find a German Spy during World War II because the spy knew the words to the third verse of The Star-Spangled Banner. (You don't know anything besides the first verse, do you?)
So I followed that link and then found a link to Shibboleths and then followed that link to a List of Shibboleths. There's a bit of interesting information there about all kinds of shibboleths including nuclear vs. nucular. Personally, I prefer nuclear because, well, it is the correct way to say that word.
You didn't think I could get from Christina Aguilera to Nucular, did you?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Hiybbprqag
Surprisingly, Stephen did not have a Groundhog as a guest on his show last night. He did have Christiane Aman-Purr which was interesting. The interview did not go as well as he might have hoped, but what can you expect? It was live TV. (Note: Show was not actually live TV, it just seems that way because Stephen is so lively.)
Stephen Colbert did have a short segment about Bing. Unfortunately, it was not something as cute as Groundhog pictures. It seems Bing has been using Google results as if they were Bing results. Just Google the word "hiybbprqag" to see what the fuss is all about. To quote Stephen, "You got served."
Note: Picture is not of actual hiybbprqag.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Happy Groundhog Day
I don't know what Stephen has planned for The Colbert Report tonight. I assume he will devote the entire show to Groundhogs, or Woodchucks as they are also known. (Personally, I prefer Woodchuck.)
You may remember that Stephen gave the famous Colbert Bump to Bing a while ago. Since then I typically visit Bing once a day just to see the photo of the day. Today's is so cute. It is, of course, a photo of Groundhogs and you just have to go look at it right now.
Bing - really cute photo of Groundhogs / Woodchucks.
If you are looking at Bing and Groundhog Day has already come and gone, then just use the little arrow in bottom right corner of photo and you can see previous photos. There is also a little copyright "C" that tells us the photo today was taken by Stephen J. Krasemann which should appeal to Stephen Colbert since, well, they share the same first name.
Anyway, the Groundhog has a reputation for being something of a meteorologist and is able to accurately predict when winter will end and spring will begin. Some say the Groundhog is even more accurate that the Dopplest 9000, but there have been no scientific studies done to confirm this. (See previous post about Dopplest 9000.)
As always, when people say Groundhog, and then think Woodchuck, invariably the "If a Woodchuck blah blah blah" Tongue Twister is recited. Funny thing though. Woodchucks rarely, if ever, chuck wood. (Okay, there is a Geico commercial with Woodchucks chucking wood, but that's just Hollywood sensationalism.) The name Woodchuck comes from an Algonquian or possibly Narragansett name for the animal, wuchak. Read all about Groundhogs on Wikipedia.
So everybody, Happy Groundhog Day! Nothing, not even the Super Bowl, can rival the parties that will take place all across the Colbert Nation today.
You may remember that Stephen gave the famous Colbert Bump to Bing a while ago. Since then I typically visit Bing once a day just to see the photo of the day. Today's is so cute. It is, of course, a photo of Groundhogs and you just have to go look at it right now.
Bing - really cute photo of Groundhogs / Woodchucks.
If you are looking at Bing and Groundhog Day has already come and gone, then just use the little arrow in bottom right corner of photo and you can see previous photos. There is also a little copyright "C" that tells us the photo today was taken by Stephen J. Krasemann which should appeal to Stephen Colbert since, well, they share the same first name.
Anyway, the Groundhog has a reputation for being something of a meteorologist and is able to accurately predict when winter will end and spring will begin. Some say the Groundhog is even more accurate that the Dopplest 9000, but there have been no scientific studies done to confirm this. (See previous post about Dopplest 9000.)
As always, when people say Groundhog, and then think Woodchuck, invariably the "If a Woodchuck blah blah blah" Tongue Twister is recited. Funny thing though. Woodchucks rarely, if ever, chuck wood. (Okay, there is a Geico commercial with Woodchucks chucking wood, but that's just Hollywood sensationalism.) The name Woodchuck comes from an Algonquian or possibly Narragansett name for the animal, wuchak. Read all about Groundhogs on Wikipedia.
So everybody, Happy Groundhog Day! Nothing, not even the Super Bowl, can rival the parties that will take place all across the Colbert Nation today.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Jason Chaffetz and His Zen SleepOver
Sometimes when I tune it to watch The Colbert Report, I turn the Television Box on a little bit early. Last night I saw the tail end of Jon Stewart and his Daily Show. Sometimes Stewart has a segment called Moment of Zen. Jason Chaffetz, Republican Representative from Utah, was featured as he spoke to Fox. I think Jason Chaffetz must have had a "SleepOver" or something like that recently because he was quoted as saying that he was so scared to death that he would have to sit next to Representative Weiner.
That would be Anthony Weiner, Congressman for New York's 9th District - the Fighting Ninth. (Note to self: find out who Anthony Weiner's roommate was in Soho.)
Then Jason Chaffetz said something about morning and people eating oatmeal and people hurling. Well, that's just typical Chatty Catty talk that goes on at Sleepovers, not always very polite and usually shows that the speaker is a sore loser. But anyway, if he is scared to death, he should contact Stephen Colbert. Prescott Pharmaceuticals surely would have something to help Jason Chaffetz with his fear phobia, which I'm assuming would be SleepOverPhobia.
Moving on.
Stephen had a blurb for the book, "O - A Presidential Novel" by the author....hmmm.... No author. Apparently it is written by an anonymous person. Speculation is that it could be Joe Klein, Robert Gibbs, or Rahm Emanuel. (Joe Klein wrote "Primary Colors", Robert Gibbs is White House Press Secretary, and Rahm Emanuel is the future mayor of Chicago.)
On the Today Show, publisher Jonathan Karp speculated that it could be (drum roll) Stephen Colbert. (If you go to the Today Show link, ignore the parts about Mark Salter.) Obviously Colbert is a talented _______ (fill in the blank), and could easily have written yet another book. But I don't think so. Here's why. When talking about Stephen Colbert, Jonathan Karp pronounced his name "call bear" rather than "coal bear". I don't think the publisher would have gotten that wrong if he actually knew the real Stephen Colbert.
Stephen doesn't remember writing it.
(OMG. That book just got The Colbert Bump! Wow, I didn't see that coming.)
The beauty of an anonymous author is that everyone can then claim credit. So, if none of you are going to claim to be the author, then I will. I wrote the book!
Stephen debuted three inventions last night. The Toaster with Wheels, the Manhandler (a single bladed razor with 5 handles) and the Fork Phone (Phork Phone? Fork Fone?). That did not go well for him, but he is recovering.
That would be Anthony Weiner, Congressman for New York's 9th District - the Fighting Ninth. (Note to self: find out who Anthony Weiner's roommate was in Soho.)
Then Jason Chaffetz said something about morning and people eating oatmeal and people hurling. Well, that's just typical Chatty Catty talk that goes on at Sleepovers, not always very polite and usually shows that the speaker is a sore loser. But anyway, if he is scared to death, he should contact Stephen Colbert. Prescott Pharmaceuticals surely would have something to help Jason Chaffetz with his fear phobia, which I'm assuming would be SleepOverPhobia.
Moving on.
Stephen had a blurb for the book, "O - A Presidential Novel" by the author....hmmm.... No author. Apparently it is written by an anonymous person. Speculation is that it could be Joe Klein, Robert Gibbs, or Rahm Emanuel. (Joe Klein wrote "Primary Colors", Robert Gibbs is White House Press Secretary, and Rahm Emanuel is the future mayor of Chicago.)
On the Today Show, publisher Jonathan Karp speculated that it could be (drum roll) Stephen Colbert. (If you go to the Today Show link, ignore the parts about Mark Salter.) Obviously Colbert is a talented _______ (fill in the blank), and could easily have written yet another book. But I don't think so. Here's why. When talking about Stephen Colbert, Jonathan Karp pronounced his name "call bear" rather than "coal bear". I don't think the publisher would have gotten that wrong if he actually knew the real Stephen Colbert.
Stephen doesn't remember writing it.
(OMG. That book just got The Colbert Bump! Wow, I didn't see that coming.)
The beauty of an anonymous author is that everyone can then claim credit. So, if none of you are going to claim to be the author, then I will. I wrote the book!
Stephen debuted three inventions last night. The Toaster with Wheels, the Manhandler (a single bladed razor with 5 handles) and the Fork Phone (Phork Phone? Fork Fone?). That did not go well for him, but he is recovering.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Nuclear Arsenal
Last night on The Colbert Report, Stephen clarified his position about Sarah Palin.
"For the record, I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman whose experience as a failed vice president candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality show star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal."
See photo of Sarah Palin in the Oval Office here.
It is gracious of him to clear up this matter. But then it begs the question: If she is qualified for what I'm assuming he means the job of POTUS, then shouldn't Colbert be dusting off his resume? He is way more qualified than Sarah Palin to run for President of the United States.
As Stephen constantly reminds us, his own humility is what he is most proud of. That alone would be reason enough for me to vote for him. I do hope he runs again in 2012. (Political junkies will remember that Stephen Colbert briefly considered running in 2008.) Eight episodes can't even begin to compare with the years and years that The Colbert Report has been on the airwaves.
"For the record, I believe Sarah Palin is a true statesman whose experience as a failed vice president candidate, half-term governor and eight-episode reality show star has fully prepared her to take control of our nuclear arsenal."
See photo of Sarah Palin in the Oval Office here.
It is gracious of him to clear up this matter. But then it begs the question: If she is qualified for what I'm assuming he means the job of POTUS, then shouldn't Colbert be dusting off his resume? He is way more qualified than Sarah Palin to run for President of the United States.
As Stephen constantly reminds us, his own humility is what he is most proud of. That alone would be reason enough for me to vote for him. I do hope he runs again in 2012. (Political junkies will remember that Stephen Colbert briefly considered running in 2008.) Eight episodes can't even begin to compare with the years and years that The Colbert Report has been on the airwaves.
Monday, January 24, 2011
A Rose by Any Other Name
Charlie Rose: My program is dedicated to the idea that it's about the guest and not about me.Stephen Colbert: I don't understand what you're talking about.
Note: Photo is not actually of Charlie Rose, but if you scratch the image, being very careful not to damage you computer monitor, you can smell the sweet fragrance of a pink rose thanks to Stephen Colbert Sniff-O-Roma Technology.
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Intelligence of Chinese Toddlers
As you may know, Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting the United States. Sasha Obama even had the opportunity to practice some of her Chinese language skills that she has been learning in school. This was a nice opportunity for her to put her education to a real world test and at such a young age!
Moving on. Rush Limbaugh was confused by the Chinese that he heard from President Hu Jintao. He was confused even by the translation, not knowing if it was an accurate in each and every detail. He even wrote down some of it and repeated it for his followers. I don't think he had the accent quite on the mark yet.
Stephen Colbert of course had a translation of what Rush Limbaugh had said on his radio show. Something about doughnuts and also something about cats. Stephen played it for his viewers on Thursday night's show.
It's too bad that Rush can't understand what was being said because millions of Chinese toddlers understand the Chinese language perfectly, thank you very much. It's not as if I'm saying Chinese toddlers are more intelligent than Rush Limbaugh. I'm just saying that Chinese toddlers can understand what Hu Jintao was saying and Rush Limbaugh cannot. Does that mean a three year-old Chinese girl is smarter than Rush Limbaugh?
Moving on. Rush Limbaugh was confused by the Chinese that he heard from President Hu Jintao. He was confused even by the translation, not knowing if it was an accurate in each and every detail. He even wrote down some of it and repeated it for his followers. I don't think he had the accent quite on the mark yet.
Stephen Colbert of course had a translation of what Rush Limbaugh had said on his radio show. Something about doughnuts and also something about cats. Stephen played it for his viewers on Thursday night's show.
It's too bad that Rush can't understand what was being said because millions of Chinese toddlers understand the Chinese language perfectly, thank you very much. It's not as if I'm saying Chinese toddlers are more intelligent than Rush Limbaugh. I'm just saying that Chinese toddlers can understand what Hu Jintao was saying and Rush Limbaugh cannot. Does that mean a three year-old Chinese girl is smarter than Rush Limbaugh?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Donald Pellview
Stephen had his understudy, Donald Pellview, do the show tonight for him. I don't know why Stephen could not do it, perhaps he had a dentist appointment or something like that. I should correct this a bit. Stephen was able to do the last minute of the show, so he was able to thank Donald Pellview and say "Good Night" but that was about the extent of his talent for the show tonight.
Donald Pellview did a great job. He interviewed Chris Matthews of Hardball with Chris Matthews fame. I must admit, Chris Matthews does seem to know his stuff. Chris Matthews and Donald Pellview talked about John F. Kennedy, what with it being the 50th anniversary of President Kennedy's inaugural speech. JFK had that famous line, "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." John F. Kennedy also created the Peace Corps, with Sargent Shriver (Robert Sargent Shriver, Jr.) as the first director.
All in all, Donald Pellview did a wonderful job as understudy for Stephen. He is just as handsome, just as intelligent, and a tad bit more comical. Let's hope we get to see more of Donald Pellview in the future.
* Note: Photo is not actually of Donald Pellview. It is an understudy photo of Donald Pellview.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The Dilemma
The Dilemma:
Stephen Colbert is famous and has won many awards, most of which are because of his Truthiness. For example, he recently was awarded the coveted and first ever "Golden Tweet" which was bestowed upon him by Biz Stone, co-founder of Twitter.
"In honor of oil-soaked birds, 'tweets' are now 'gurgles'."
He has won Emmys.
He has won the "Gutsiest Move" award.
He ran for president. He has appeared in Spider-Man comics.
He has been in movies (with almost top billing but not quite which I guess translates into bottom billing).
He has been on TV shows.
He has held a Rally with Jon Stewart to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.
All of these involved facts.
Here's where The Dilemma starts coming into play.
I have in past posts, (not to be confused with pissed pests past posts which will be a future post) compared or contrasted Stephen Colbert with Brad Rodu. Rodu has a blog about Tobacco Truth which of course, of course ... right?... involve facts. You remember Dr. Brad Rodu - University of Louisville, Endowed Chair of Tobacco Harm Reduction research, recommends that people stop using tobacco by starting to use tobacco in a different form such as cigarette substitutes, snus, chew, smokeless tobacco, vapor cigarettes, etc.
Now some might wonder if he is biased because his endowed chair is paid for by Tobacco companies. But he says he is not biased, so you know he isn't because he uses Truth in the title of his blog and he says that he has "no conflict of interest" due to Tobacco paying him. You can read about him at any number of his blogs and websites. He has them all linked together, like some sort of web. (Yikes... Brad Rodu - web. Stephen Colbert - Spider-Man! What a connection these two men have!)
Anyway, here's my point.
Dr. Brad Rodu, Endowed Chair has had his "smokers only" website since 2005. On it he says lots of stuff.
Dr. Stephen Colbert has had his nightly show since 2005.
Every night he tells the audience many things.
And, IMHO, Stephen Colbert is Endowed.
With many fine qualities.
Only one of them can win my Truthiness Award. Which one will it be?
The Dilemma continues.
Stephen Colbert is famous and has won many awards, most of which are because of his Truthiness. For example, he recently was awarded the coveted and first ever "Golden Tweet" which was bestowed upon him by Biz Stone, co-founder of Twitter.
"In honor of oil-soaked birds, 'tweets' are now 'gurgles'."
He has won Emmys.
He has won the "Gutsiest Move" award.
He ran for president. He has appeared in Spider-Man comics.
He has been in movies (with almost top billing but not quite which I guess translates into bottom billing).
He has been on TV shows.
He has held a Rally with Jon Stewart to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.
All of these involved facts.
Here's where The Dilemma starts coming into play.
I have in past posts, (not to be confused with pissed pests past posts which will be a future post) compared or contrasted Stephen Colbert with Brad Rodu. Rodu has a blog about Tobacco Truth which of course, of course ... right?... involve facts. You remember Dr. Brad Rodu - University of Louisville, Endowed Chair of Tobacco Harm Reduction research, recommends that people stop using tobacco by starting to use tobacco in a different form such as cigarette substitutes, snus, chew, smokeless tobacco, vapor cigarettes, etc.
Now some might wonder if he is biased because his endowed chair is paid for by Tobacco companies. But he says he is not biased, so you know he isn't because he uses Truth in the title of his blog and he says that he has "no conflict of interest" due to Tobacco paying him. You can read about him at any number of his blogs and websites. He has them all linked together, like some sort of web. (Yikes... Brad Rodu - web. Stephen Colbert - Spider-Man! What a connection these two men have!)
Anyway, here's my point.
Dr. Brad Rodu, Endowed Chair has had his "smokers only" website since 2005. On it he says lots of stuff.
Dr. Stephen Colbert has had his nightly show since 2005.
Every night he tells the audience many things.
And, IMHO, Stephen Colbert is Endowed.
With many fine qualities.
Only one of them can win my Truthiness Award. Which one will it be?
The Dilemma continues.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Gabrielle Giffords
Representative Gabrielle Giffords has been shot. Read about it here.
Sarah Palin had targeted Gabrielle Giffords last election - with crosshairs on a map of the USA. Now, she and Todd Palin and their family are praying for the victims. She is also praying for peace and justice.
Sarah Palin had targeted Gabrielle Giffords last election - with crosshairs on a map of the USA. Now, she and Todd Palin and their family are praying for the victims. She is also praying for peace and justice.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sue's Noose Goose Snus Snooze
Yep, that's a tongue twister I'm using for the title of this post. Does it make sense? Well, not exactly, but it's fun to try to say it ten times. (Betcha you can't do it!)
Moving on.
Fans of truthiness are troubled when they encounter bogusivity. But how can you even tell which is which?
Case in point. Snus. Electronic Cigarettes. Dip. Vapor Stick. Chewing Tobacco. Snuff. Dissolvable Tobacco. Cigarette Substitutes. Smoking Alternatives. All will get you the nicotine you are addicted to. But are they healthy? Are they a good idea? Should you try them? Should you buy them?
Dr. Brad Rodu, D.D.S. is making a career out of promoting tobacco and nicotine via delivery systems other than smoking. He even advocated that Senator Barack Obama (now President Barack Obama) use smokeless tobacco.
Dr. Brad Rodu is a Professor of medicine at the University of Louisville. He holds an endowed chair (more about that in a future post) in tobacco harm reduction - or THR as he calls it.
(Clarification Note or Full Disclosure as they call it in journalism and politics):
His research, and thus the
lifestyle that he's become accustomed to,
is supported by tobacco manufacturers.
So, I'm wondering. Is he really concerned about all this tobacco and chew and snus and snuff, or is this just a prelude to his launching his career on some competing television channel (such as FOX) as an alternative to Stephen Colbert's "The Colbert Report" (TCR)?
There are so many similarities it's just uncanny.
* Both are doctors.
* Both use statistics.
* Both document their sources.
* Both talk about pharmaceuticals.
* Both use the internet to get their point or points across to a wide segment of loyal followers.
* I could go on and on but I won't.
Funny note here. Some would suggest that Stephen Colbert of "The Colbert Report" often talks with tongue in cheek. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. People who use smokeless tobacco would talk with tobacco in cheek. Both of those would be called TIC. Tongue In Cheek. Tobacco in Cheek. Get it?
Anyway, what makes me think that Dr. Brad Rodu may be trying to take over the late night conservative pundit job that Dr. Colbert is doing so well is that he uses similar tactics to push his agenda. Dr. Brad Rodu is very good at using truthiness as I have explained in in a previous post. (See November 30, 2010 post entitled, "The Truthiness, the Whole Truthiness, and Nothing But the Truthiness.")
Dr. Rodu tells you some of the story, but not the rest of the story, just as Dr. Colbert often does. I mentioned in that previous post on "The Truthiness, the Whole Truthiness, and Nothing But the Truthiness" about Dr. Rodu talking about our life expectancy being better than it used to be. But it's 14 years less for smokers than for non-smokers, so that's the rest of the story.
And then it gets all confusing when people try to make other people think that it's the smoking that's the problem and not the tobacco that's the problem. There's been so much emphasis on quitting smoking, when it really probably should have been an emphasis on quitting tobacco.
"I wish I could quit you." How many smokers have said that? And how many times have they said that?
Dr. Colbert has his Cheating Death segments [here] and Dr. Rodu seems to be saying that smokeless tobacco can help tobacco users cheat death. But again, is that all tongue in cheek talking by one or both of these doctors?
It's a new year and anything is possible. For now I will leave you with some sources to check out [here] and [here] and [here]
and [here] and [here].
Also [here] and [here] and [here] and [here].
Interestingly enough, on a Wikipedia entry, Dr. Rodu's blog was listed under NON-medical blogs and commentary. That is yet another indication that there is a potential of a possibility that perhaps, maybe, a competitor to Dr. Stephen Colbert and The Colbert Report (TCR) is in the planning stages or at least in the "thinking about it" planning stages.
FOX, are you interested? We need more comedians in these tough times.
Moving on.
Fans of truthiness are troubled when they encounter bogusivity. But how can you even tell which is which?
Case in point. Snus. Electronic Cigarettes. Dip. Vapor Stick. Chewing Tobacco. Snuff. Dissolvable Tobacco. Cigarette Substitutes. Smoking Alternatives. All will get you the nicotine you are addicted to. But are they healthy? Are they a good idea? Should you try them? Should you buy them?
Dr. Brad Rodu, D.D.S. is making a career out of promoting tobacco and nicotine via delivery systems other than smoking. He even advocated that Senator Barack Obama (now President Barack Obama) use smokeless tobacco.
Dr. Brad Rodu is a Professor of medicine at the University of Louisville. He holds an endowed chair (more about that in a future post) in tobacco harm reduction - or THR as he calls it.
(Clarification Note or Full Disclosure as they call it in journalism and politics):
His research, and thus the
lifestyle that he's become accustomed to,
is supported by tobacco manufacturers.
So, I'm wondering. Is he really concerned about all this tobacco and chew and snus and snuff, or is this just a prelude to his launching his career on some competing television channel (such as FOX) as an alternative to Stephen Colbert's "The Colbert Report" (TCR)?
There are so many similarities it's just uncanny.
* Both are doctors.
* Both use statistics.
* Both document their sources.
* Both talk about pharmaceuticals.
* Both use the internet to get their point or points across to a wide segment of loyal followers.
* I could go on and on but I won't.
Funny note here. Some would suggest that Stephen Colbert of "The Colbert Report" often talks with tongue in cheek. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. People who use smokeless tobacco would talk with tobacco in cheek. Both of those would be called TIC. Tongue In Cheek. Tobacco in Cheek. Get it?
Anyway, what makes me think that Dr. Brad Rodu may be trying to take over the late night conservative pundit job that Dr. Colbert is doing so well is that he uses similar tactics to push his agenda. Dr. Brad Rodu is very good at using truthiness as I have explained in in a previous post. (See November 30, 2010 post entitled, "The Truthiness, the Whole Truthiness, and Nothing But the Truthiness.")
Dr. Rodu tells you some of the story, but not the rest of the story, just as Dr. Colbert often does. I mentioned in that previous post on "The Truthiness, the Whole Truthiness, and Nothing But the Truthiness" about Dr. Rodu talking about our life expectancy being better than it used to be. But it's 14 years less for smokers than for non-smokers, so that's the rest of the story.
And then it gets all confusing when people try to make other people think that it's the smoking that's the problem and not the tobacco that's the problem. There's been so much emphasis on quitting smoking, when it really probably should have been an emphasis on quitting tobacco.
"I wish I could quit you." How many smokers have said that? And how many times have they said that?
Dr. Colbert has his Cheating Death segments [here] and Dr. Rodu seems to be saying that smokeless tobacco can help tobacco users cheat death. But again, is that all tongue in cheek talking by one or both of these doctors?
It's a new year and anything is possible. For now I will leave you with some sources to check out [here] and [here] and [here]
and [here] and [here].
Also [here] and [here] and [here] and [here].
Interestingly enough, on a Wikipedia entry, Dr. Rodu's blog was listed under NON-medical blogs and commentary. That is yet another indication that there is a potential of a possibility that perhaps, maybe, a competitor to Dr. Stephen Colbert and The Colbert Report (TCR) is in the planning stages or at least in the "thinking about it" planning stages.
FOX, are you interested? We need more comedians in these tough times.
Happy New Year
Well, I'm late, but I have a good excuse. I was just too busy to do this on 1/1/11. Sorry.
So, I'll do it now.
Happy New Year.
Problem solved.
So, I'll do it now.
Happy New Year.
Problem solved.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Pacquin Hand Cream
Merry*Christmas.
Well, since Stephen is on vacation, I'm left with no other choice but to fill in for him with the stories that I think he would have had on his show if he was actually working this week.
I'll start off today with one of his favorite topics - pharmaceuticals and by that I mean health and beauty aids. There is a cornucopia of hand and body lotions out there for the American consumers to buy. They're okay. However the best one out there is no longer out there. Well, one or two jars are out there. Today there is a 4-oz jar of the Medicated Pacquin Hand Cream on ebay for $75. Why $75? Because Pacquin Hand & Body Cream has been discontinued. I'm assuming the Pacquin product line was bought out by Johnson and Johnson, and then Johnson and Johnson discontinued the product. Back when you could buy Pacquin Hand & Body Cream in any corner drug store, the price was in the $5.00 to $7.00 range for an 8-oz jar!
So, what this means is that Stephen should have Prescott Pharmaceuticals purchase the patent for Pacquin Hand & Body Cream and start making and selling it. With his name and picture on the jar and with the very loyal consumers who are just begging for this product back, he could make hundreds and by hundreds I really mean millions of dollars.
Pacquin Hand and Body Cream needs the famous "Colbert Bump".
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Complete Factual Inaccuracy
The title refers to Stephen's segment on Papa Bear. If you want to know more about that, find tonight's show on the internet. By the way, this was the last show for 2010! No more shows until 2011. argh.
But of course the highlight was Amy Sedaris doing crafts with Stephen. She has written another book, "Simple Times, Crafts for Poor People." One of her crafts that she shared was homemade cookies - sort of. Instead of actually baking cookies, she saves crumbs all year long and puts them on a plate. She puts a note about enjoying her homemade cookies on the plate with the crumbs. This is a real time saver, plus it costs next to nothing. Almost as imaginative is Stephen's dreidel which he turned upside down, painted green and turned into a Christmas Tree.
Fans of Stephen Colbert or Amy Sedaris may remember that they starred together in "Strangers with Candy" where Amy played Jerri Blank and Stephen was Chuck Noblet.
Many of you probably confuse Amy Sedaris with Martha Stewart but there is an easy way to tell them apart. Amy Sedaris is an actor who portrayed a woman, Jerri Blank, who went to prison. Martha Stewart actually did go to prison. Other than that, they are pretty much the same.
Amy Sedaris, on a more serious note, made a plug for animal adoption. The website Whiskers in Wonderland links to the Animal Alliance of New York City, which helps people adopt pets.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome
Last night, Stephen Colbert poked fun at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Actually he called it the Minneapolis Metrodome if I remember correctly.
Anyway, there was a lot of snow in Minneapolis, as well as across the whole Midwest. That can be a headache, what with the shoveling and the plowing and the snowballs and things like that. But it was an especially big headache for the Metrodome and the Vikings. They were scheduled to play against the Giants on December 12. Unfortunately, the Metrodome roof ripped and then deflated from the weight of the snow.
It's unfortunate, but at least it wasn't during a game or other event when there might have been lots of people on the Mall of America Field. The game was postponed and eventually played in Detroit! The Giants won, but the Vikings came in at second place.
Anyway, the photo shows the roof of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in better days. The roof is intact and as a bonus, you can see the pre-game show by the University of Minnesota Marching Band (the Pride of Minnesota) before a Gopher Game. The roof is quite inflated. The lights and speakers are high above the field and there are no rips.
There's talk, (well there's always talk) of building a new stadium for the Vikings. Maybe it will happen, maybe not. But it got me to wondering, what will they do with this stadium? Will they abandon it? Will they build something else on the site? If you look at the photo, the top half of seating is above ground level, and the lower half is below ground level. Presumably when the stadium was built, lots of dirt was hauled away. Will they bring that dirt back? Perhaps the best thing would be that when another stadium is built, they just bring that dirt here. Even if the Vikings move to another state, they would need a stadium there, so the dirt could just be transported from that state to Minnesota. That makes sense.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Journalism
Tonight, Stephen Colbert indicated that one of his writers had found a credit card, MasterCard to be more specific, of a certain Buckley T. Ratchford, a Wall Street banker. Mr. Colbert wants to interview a Wall Street banker, so it works out well for both of them.
Mr. Buckley T. Ratchford should come on The Colbert Report to be interviewed and in return, Stephen won't reveal the MasterCard number. As a teaser tonight, he revealed that the first digit of the number is 5.
That is called an incentive.
The incentive for Buckley T. Rachford is to come on Colbert Report sooner rather than later, so that no more numbers on his credit card are revealed. The incentive for Stephen is, well there isn't one for Stephen. He just keeps doing what he always does.
Suggestion for Stephen Colbert if Buckley T. Ratchford chooses to not come on Colbert Report. Use the MasterCard as a Christmas Tree Ornament.
Priceless.
* Photo is not actual credit card.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Colbert Meet Garland
An interesting piece of trivia that most everyone knows is that the Smithsonian has Dorothy's Ruby Slippers* on display. Dorothy Gale of course was played by Judy Garland in the famous film, The Wizard of Oz.
Another very famous piece of Americana has been donated to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. The immensely patriotic, one-piece, stars and stripes jumpsuit worn by Stephen at the historic Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear was, yes indeed, donated to the Smithsonian on Wednesday's show.
And the boots, too. So that puts Dorothy's Ruby Slippers and Stephen's White Boots on equal footing (oh the pun of it all) in one of the most famous museums of all time and space.
Brent Glass, Director of the National Museum of American History, was on The Colbert Report to accept the donation from Stephen Colbert.
Can you stand some more excitement in one posting? The famous portrait of Stephen Colbert will be going back on display at the very same Museum of American History on December 26, 2010. Could there be anything better to happen this Holiday Season?
* Note: Photo not actually of Dorothy's Ruby Slippers.
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