And They Lived Happily Ever After

Well, I didn't win. Not that I wanted to. Stephen won, or at least he was pretty sure he had won the huge Powerball drawing. His fantasies of the win went from sheer exuberance all the way to utter despair at spending his imagined winnings so quickly. Then he found out that he didn't win, and, luckily for all of us in the Colbert Nation, he went on with the show. Money can't buy you happiness.

First up on the show, Marriage. Polls show that while it used to be that men want to get married more than women do, now the reverse is true. More women want to get married than do men. That presents a problem in that there's not enough marrying men to go around. Here's what Suzanne Venker over at Fox News had to say about marriage.

"I've accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who've told me ... that they're never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same. Women aren't women anymore."

I've got some questions about all of this. First of all, where and how did she stumble upon this subculture? Who are these men in that subculture? Do they all actually say, "Women aren't women anymore?" And then I have some answers to the questions I just asked. If she stumbled, it was probably in a bar, that's where people usually stumble. The whole subculture and same answer thing. Well, it sort of goes in a circle. They are a subculture because they all had the same answer and yes they all said the same thing, that's what put them in the peculiar subculture. (How many men are you talking about anyway?)

 Stephen had advice for women. Stop voting. Stop talking. This is how to return to that feminine ideal and thus solve the marriage crisis. Most likely Suzanne Venker will now see the errors of her ways for being a writer and get out of that business and become a docile woman that is the marrying kind.

This should make everyone happy.

Not making people happy is the Filibuster. If you thought the majority party was in control, you were wrong. Here's some more information about Filibuster. Stephen talked about the good old days when you could filibuster by reading the actual phone book. Boring? Yes, but worth every dollar we are paying those Senators to stand up there and waste time while important legislation is being ignored. Why does Harry Reid want to monkey around with this? Mitch McConnell is not happy about what Harry Reid wants to do. He wants to keep the ability to obstruct everything and if he can't, then he will obstruct everything. (That's called win/win. Only the taxpayers, voters, citizens end up losing.)

On to the fun part of the show, Frank Oz. Stephen introduced him as the voice of Miss Piggy, Grover Fozzie, Animal and Yoda. Frank Oz pointed out that 90%, no, make that 92% of the character is the puppetry part. The voice is important, but much of what is done for the characters is the puppetry part. Being a puppetry artist allows someone like Oz to go out and buy pork and beans or do his laundry at a laundromat and still be sort of a regular guy. People aren't likely to look at him and think of Miss Piggy.

Did you know that Frank Oz directed "Little Shop of Horrors?" Well, yeah, you have been paying attention, so I suppose you know that. Stephen and Frank Oz discussed the movie a bit, especially the fact that originally the ending wasn't the typical "happily ever after" ending. People were loving the movie until it got to the end. Then, not so much. And so, the ending was changed and it was happily ever after. Now, there's a new release with... well... with the original ending. Ahhhhhh.

Stephen asked a very important question then. "Are you ever tempted to use your voices to get out of situations?" For example, if pulled over by a cop, would Frank Oz ever say something like, "Not speeding was I, Officer," in his best Yoda voice. No, Oz does not do that, or at least if he does, he did not fess up.

I'm worried about Stephen. He was elated about winning the Powerball, then sad, but then went on as if nothing was wrong. And he did well with the interview. But, when he signed off for the night with his usual cheery "Goodnight Everybody," he just didn't look like himself. I can't quite put my finger on it, but he seemed to have shrunk and lost weight and his eyes were kind of buggy and he seemed sort of mechanical. Something was different. I'll pull some strings and see if I can't get more information from an inside source.

Oz, Frank Oz

It's a good week over at The Colbert Report. Tonight's guest is Frank Oz. You most likely remember him from his roles in "The Blues Brothers," "Trading Places," and "Spies Like Us." But you might also know him as Miss Piggy, Grover, Yoda, Cookie Monster, and a host of other famous Muppets.

It should be a real interesting show tonight. Stephen and Frank Oz will most likely talk about "Little Shop of Horrors," but I could  also imagine Oz breaking into one of his character voices and causing Stephen to lose his train of thought if not his cool.

It will be interesting tonight. Stay tuned.

Neil Peart Drum Solo

This year, in Canada, Santa Claus is Rush. And that jingle up on the roof, that's Neil Peart doing a drum solo. (Feel free to drum along in unison with him.) I'm sure we will hear more about Christmas from Stephen as the special day gets closer.

Meanwhile, some words to throw out at you. Fiscal Cliff. Sequestration. Stephen was somewhat disappointed that just because Obama ran on the promise of raising taxes and just because he won the election, now he wants to raise taxes. On the show to talk about these problems and his book "Grand New Party," was Reihan Salam. And while they did talk money a bit, more importantly they discussed which was the Real America, Brooklyn or South Carolina.

Originally, I was going to name this post "Dreams Do Come True," but upon Googling that, I learned that it was the title of a song by Dolly Parton. Yes, Stephen's guest Dolly Parton! Upon remembering what Stephen had said when he introduced her, the part about being a song writer and writing over 3000 songs, I figured I had to come up with something that Dolly had not written a song about yet. Hopefully I succeeded.

Dolly did talk about her book, "Dream More," and she did talk about Imagination Library, and, (be still my beating heart) she and Stephen did sing a song together. Stephen played guitar also, and since he is so camera shy, it took a few takes for them to get going on the song. But is was wonderful to hear them sing together. I personally wonder if they won't end up going on tour together sometime in the future. If they do, remember, you heard it here first.

But I'm jumping ahead in the interview. Dolly Parton has 11 siblings and you probably know that Stephen has 10 siblings. What else could you expect from that than a sibling name-off. They both recited the names of their own siblings as fast as they could. I think Stephen won, but of course the winner could just be lucky enough to have siblings with shorter names. More research is needed to determine the real winner.

The two of them also discussed their families a little bit. Dolly suggested that Stephen probably was Catholic. Yes he is. She was right. She then volunteered a little bit of information about her family background and the reasoning behind her folks having so many kids.

Anyway, Stephen and Dolly sang, "Love is Like a Butterfly." As I mentioned, Stephen was a bit nervous to sing with Dolly, but she coaxed him along and they made a lovely duo.

Dolly Parton

Tonight's guest is Dolly Parton. I'm excited about that. She probably won't be singing a duet with Stephen, although that would be a treat. (Hey, maybe I'm wrong and we'll all be pleasantly surprised!)

She has a new book out, "Dream More," hitting the bookstores today! What a coincidence. Actually it's probably planned that these two events, Dolly Parton's book coming out and Dolly Parton being on The Colbert Report, both happen today. That's kind of the meaning of coincidence - two things happening together. Happens all the time.

So, watch tonight to see Dolly Parton and hear about her new book. I'm hoping she will also talk about Imagination Library.

Lemur

Yes, another cute animal over at bing. Go look and stay for a while, the lemur comes to life and starts moving a bit. This bing video is quite seamless, no obvious stops and starts unless you watch very closely. Lemurs are usually found only on the island of Madagascar, and of course in some zoos.

Why doesn't Stephen ever have any animal guests on the show? Yeah, I know occasionally he will have a turkey but he should consider in-depth interviews with some of our furry or feathered or scaly friends. It would add some exciting zing to the show.

Update: Well now it's a new day and so you have to use the left arrow at bottom of screen to go back to the Lemur. But while you are on today's bing page, let me just say, kids, don't try this at home. 

Pope? Nope!

Stephen acknowledged that all important American mainstay, Black Friday. He is somewhat worried that it is being ruined by commercialism. I hope not, I sincerely hope not.

In  "Judge, Jury and Executioner" we learn about Copyright Law. Copyright Law is quite simple and straightforward. In fact, it's so easy, even a caveman.... oops I better not say that, it might be copyrighted. Anyway, there's this case going on now, Supap Kirtsaeng v. Wiley & Sons. Supap buys textbooks in Thailand where they are cheap and sells them here on ebay for a hefty profit. But is it legal? That is yet to be determined. In the meantime, will this mean everything on ebay is at risk? What about stuff you have that you want to resell at a garage sale. It's complicated and it means Stephen had to make a call, on-air, to Elvis Costello to get his permission to resell an Elvis Costello album at an upcoming garage sale, and to negotiate a split in the profits. I hope I can make it to Stephen's garage sale. Sting is going to be the cashier!

Thanksgiving is over. Christmas is just around the corner. You know what that means. Fox News will be starting in on their favorite topic, the War on Christmas. Which means it's time on The Colbert Report for "The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude."

Someone is spoiling Stephen's Christmas spirit and you will not believe who it is. The Pope. Yes, that Pope, Pope Benedict. Here's what Pope Benedict is saying to ruin Stephen's Christmas.

Jesus was really born earlier than we have been led to believe. Angels did not sing about the birth of the baby Jesus, they just spoke about it. There weren't animals sitting around by the manger.

Stephen could easily win a debate with the Pope with these simple words from The Little Drummer Boy.

Mary nodded.
Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.
The ox and lamb kept time.
Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.

Yep, the ox and lamb are the rhythm section. What more proof does anyone need? So all this stuff according to the Pope is not in the Bible. Stephen showed what a biblical scholar he is with this simple gotcha tactic. "Know what else isn't in the Bible? The Pope!"

Stephen's guest was Jake Tapper, White House corespondent for ABC News. He also has a book out, "The Outpost: An Untold Story of American Valor." With this book it becomes a Told story. The outpost is in Afghanistan and it seems like a sort of Catch 22 in that the base is there to protect itself so that it can be there. It does sound like a very interesting book, so go out and buy it.

In Brief

Here's the short version, the highlights of what I missed when I was away from civilization, i.e. a place where The Colbert Report was not on the TV machine.

For one thing, Stephen suggested that Doris Kearns Goodwin was friendly, very friendly with Lincoln. He also took the opportunity to suggest that viewers purchase his books. (I have already purchased most of his books and I'm still working my way through "I Am a Pole And So Can You.")

There was a wonderful discussion of Super PACs. Karl Rove's Super PAC elected 1.29% -- can that be correct??? --- of the candidates they he spent big money on. His donors are kind of pissed.

Stephen had a Super PAC. He's a little bit worried about the fallout and so he blamed any problems on Jon Stewart who had control of the Super PAC for only one week. Jon showed up to complain but didn't stick around for long. However, friend of the show Trevor Potter did show up and as usual he had wonderful news for Stephen. Again with just simple forms or signed letters, Stephen is able to take advantage of great legal ideas and abracadabra! Stephen has the leftover money (we're talking something like $800,000) free and clear with no strings attached. No one need ever know.

I have got to get me a Super PAC.

Ken Burns was on to talk about two of his documentaries, "The Dust Bowl" and "The Central Park Five." Ken Burns said of the Dust Bowl that it was "bad" and that Oklahoma begged for the big federal government to come to Oklahoma and help them with the problem in their state. The Central Park Five is about waiting for justice to be served and about Ken Burns saying No to someone.

Moving on to another episode, Stephen had his "Who's Attacking Me Now?" segment. Turns out it's Canada's Maple Stream media. Apparently, they are upset with something Stephen said in his book "America Again."(Note: good Christmas gift.) In a CBC news poll, though, 76.64% of poll takers said Stephen's mention of Windsor, Canada thought it was good for the city. So, I don't see why they would complain. "You're welcome Windsor. You just got the Colbert Bump," said Stephen. No matter what Stephen says about you, in the end, it's going to be good.

Tony Kushner, screenwriter for the Lincoln movie, stopped by to talk about old Uncle Pennyface. He seemed to agree with Doris Kearns Goodwin and remarked that Lincoln had huge feet. I think we can all agree that Lincoln was a great president.

Whew, briefly, I'm caught up with most of the episodes. Just in time for tonight!

A Spit of Tea

Stephen was, to put it mildly, surprised that now that the 2012 election is all over, done, history, the pundits are, believe it or not, already talking about who is going to run for president in 2016.

Stephen's comment was something like, "Ptuuuuiiii," but with hot tea hitting his desk as the liquid rushed out of his mouth. 2016??? Who is running in 2016???? I offer Stephen my sympathy. People want to go back to the normal humdrum of life for at least a little while. Enough already with election forecasts.

So, on a more festive note, Happy Diwali! Here's a brief article about Diwali over at national Geographic Kids.

In what could be considered controversial material, Stephen had a clip of Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor on Sesame Street. She and one of the girl characters were talking about careers. The girl wanted to be a princess. Justice Sotomayor, tried to point her away from being a princess which is more of a "pretend" career and into something that requires education and training and skills. Eventually, the little girl decides that the life of a Supreme Court Justice is the career path for her.

Thankfully, Stephen has done his research. In the entire history of the Supreme Court, only four women have made it onto the bench. (You'd think they could afford comfortable chairs, but no, it's a bench, at least that's what I keep hearing about judges.) The four women who have been or currently are on SCOTUS are Sandra Day O'Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan.

Stephen's guest last night, and yes it was a repeat episode, so it wasn't actually last night, was Newt. Oops, my bad. His guest was Newt Gingrich, former presidential contender. So Stephen and Newt have that in common. His latest book, Victory at Yorktown, is about a guy named George Washington, who therefore has something in common with Stephen and Newt, except that this guy actually was successful in his bid to become president.

In keeping on the theme of elections, Stephen asked for Newt's analysis of the election that just happened, the one where Barack Obama won re-election and Mitt Romney was defeated. Newt replied, "We were wrong."

Note: If  "Spit of Tea" is not to your liking, you can view "Spot of Tea" over here.

I'm Melting, I'm Melting

Hopefully Stephen will never have to say this. You see, he's made out of wax! If you don't believe me, just look here to learn about Stephen and immortality. Someone just has to make sure that the air conditioning is always on the Cool setting.

(To those who wondered why there have been no posts this week, would you believe there are places where you can't watch The Colbert Report? I nearly went out of my mind. But thankfully, I am back and will be catching up on posting.)

Kristallnacht

Just a reminder that the Night of Broken Glass happened November 9-10, 1938 in Germany and parts of Austria. Oddly enough, with dates written in Europe, that would be 9-11. You can Google Kristallnacht and find many YouTube videos with information about this event.

It's Art, It's Lousy Art

Stephen shared with us his "I'm With Mitt" photos. It was a great summary of Election Night minus the fireworks.

Do you know any Difference Makers? I'm sure you do, but none quite like Steven Dick, Jr. He owes a ton of back taxes but refused to pay them because New York tax law has an exemption (according to Dick) for his type of business establishment. Stephen presented a mini-documentary that was a wonderful mixture of legal information along with musical and dramatic performances.

Contrary to what was published in "The New England Journal of When Harry Met Sally," men and women can't be just friends. Harry was right and Sally was wrong. Stephen shared his thoughts about the 700,000 women viewers who watch his show.

Thursday night's guest was Rachel Maddow of "The Rachel Maddow Show" fame. She was one of the newscasters who stayed up late on Election Night to report the results. "What was it like?" asked Stephen. Well, Rachel admitted that she had pudding brain after not having enough sleep. When Ohio was called for Obama and Obama had won re-election, they were caught off guard, they weren't expecting it to happen then.

Stephen commented that the folks over at Fox seemed more freaked out than the folks at msnbc seemed elated. Probably the folks over at msnbc were simply reporting the news fairly and balanacedly, so no emotion needed.  We also find out that predicting the outcome of an election based on enthusiastic crowds is a lousy way to predict elections.

One thing that Stephen respects is the way Rachel Maddow can deconstruct the news. She mixes it up a bit and then reconstructs the news. According to Stephen this ends up being a conservative killing machine.

Stephen plugged Rachel Maddow's book "Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power." But not before discussing his view of how hurricanes are spawned. I don't think Rachel Maddow believed his fuzzy science.

It's My Party

I think I know why Stephen was so sad last night. There was a party, a party that he should have been invited to and he wasn't. It was the celebration party for Mitt Romney. Admittedly, it wasn't much of a celebration, but if Stephen had been invited, he would have been able to cheer up everyone that was there. He's just that kind of a fellow.

Anyway, here's some news about the party. Maybe next time, he'll get invited.

232-365-4789

Can the dreaded Wind Turbine Syndrome infect my computer? I don't know, but Stephen did talk about Wind Turbine Syndrome last night.

Here's why I am so concerned. My computer has been acting up lately. I type a word correctly and yet it shows up incorrectly on my screen. I know I'm not making mistakes because why would I type it wrong?

The only explanation is a computer virus. And computers are somewhat technical. And Wind Turbines are somewhat technical. And there are wind turbines near where I live, not real close, but if I drive for a while, eventually I do see some.

Now for the clinker. I got a phone call from the Technical Department of, and here's where I have to be vague. I couldn't understand the woman. I had to ask her a few times to repeat what she said. "From IT." Oh, the Information Technology Geeks. Why was she asking if my computer was working or not? Did she know my computer had the dreaded Wind Turbine Syndrome? I was getting worried so I asked more questions, probing questions. And you know what? She.... hung.... up.... on....me!!!!!

Why would she call and then hang up when I started asking her questions? Well, here's one possible explanation:

FTC helps slow tech support scam; don't give remote computer access. You might want to click on the photo of that old lady (yes I said old lady, she's 101) and hear what they did with con artists back in the day.

The number on the Caller ID was 232-365-4789. There was nothing for a company name, just dashes. If they were legitimate they would have a company name on the Caller ID. Even then I wouldn't necessarily trust them. All they have to do is make up a name and lie about it.

So, I wonder if that's who called, some scammer. My gut feeling? Yep. They were looking for someone to scam.

I'm suspicious of anyone that calls me: "Mom? How do I know you're really my mom? Quick tell me what my dog's name is."

"Honey, you don't have a dog."

"Good answer, how ya doin' today Mom? Is that arthritis acting up again?"

So be wary of anyone that calls out of the blue with get rich schemes, or asking for charity donations, or telling you to quick do something, or offering to fix something for you. Don't give out account numbers or personal information or anything else. You can also stall and say tell me more, send me literature, let me talk to your supervisor.

If they hang up on you, consider yourself yucky. I mean lucky.

(Oops, I figured out my typing skills are getting rusty. I don't actually have a computer virus.)

For Your Amusement

Stephen was depressed tonight. He was dressed in a bathrobe and baseball cap, and he ignored the audience while eating popcorn and watching TV. Nothing could change his attitude or actions except a careful reading of his contract that a guy in a suit (lawyer????) showed him.

Obama is still the winner. We are beginning to find out the reasons for his election win. Apparently, and this is true because Papa Bear said so, 50% of  the American public want stuff. Obama will give them stuff and so they voted for Obama.

Are you aware that there were irregularities in the voting? For one thing, the East Coast got to vote up to three hours earlier than some of the other (West Coast) states! Also, some voters, typically those who were likely to vote for Obama, received phone calls, even robocalls, telling them that they could vote by phone or that they could vote on the day after Election Day. Ooh man, they were punked!

If you don't have enough to worry about, here's something you need to know. Wind Turbine Syndrome. You can catch diseases, up to 155 different things, by being near wind turbines. You can even get it by hearing someone talk about it. Thanks, Stephen, you just talked about it. Now we're all going to get some sort of sickness or disease or condition. Even now I'm suffering from insomnia.

Steven's guest was Doris Kearns Goodwin. She likes presidents, all of them -- the living ones, the dead ones, the fat ones, the funny ones -- she just can't get enough of these men. Her latest book is "Lincoln - Team of Rivals." You know the drill. Go buy the book.

Election 2012: A Nation Votes, Ohio Decides; The Re-Presidenting of America: Who Will Replace Obama? '012!

I'm still elated or tired or sad by the election results. I don't remember. Stephen wished his mom a Happy Birthday. He interviewed Andrew Sullivan who told us that Mitt Romney lost because he didn't appeal to moderates. And Stephen told us the sad news that Barack Obama was re-elected.

We Won! We Won!

I accurately predicted that almost half of the candidates would win and I was right. Yeah yeah I know. In any group of races one person will win and one will not. And yes, there are more than just two candidates for some offices, but by and large, half of those candidates running will win. So I can claim to have predicted something that was sort of accurate about the election. I take credit where credit is due. Next time I will actually name names. That would give a certain validity to my predictions.

In order to know who won, I had to stay up late, very late. So late that the bakers were already at the bakery baking and the night watchmen were on their last walk through the art gallery. What that means is that I didn't get to watch the wonderful election coverage from Stephen. Don't tell me how it ends. I do have it on TiVo. I'll watch this afternoon and then I'll write about the election coverage.

What I did want to mention though is a certain guest on The Colbert Report accurately predicted who would win the White House. (Spoiler Alert --- The winner was Barack Obama.)

The guest - Nate Silver.

Now, as Stephen says, go buy his book. Just one thing though. No one can say why sales have soared by 800 percent. Was it the election result or was it the Colbert Bump? You be the judge.

86.3%

GO VOTE!

That's how Stephen ended the show. But let me start at the beginning.

Of course you all know about the Colbert Super PAC, Building a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow. Well who do you think said this?

"We can begin a better tomorrow, tomorrow." Oh, you won't believe who it was. Stephen seemed pleased, ("He used our slogan!") but I can tell you, I am steamed. Stephen made up that slogan and it belongs to the Colbert Super PAC and all the fine folks over at Colbert Nation and to the The Colbert Report. So here's who said it: Mitt Romney.

Really, plagiarism, that's how it's going to be? That does it. I'm going against all the conservative ideas Stephen has been preaching all these years and endorsing Barack Obama. There. I said it. Stephen has worked so hard every hour of every day building his Colbert Super PAC. Now to have the slogan, well the last four words of it, used in a speech by someone else,... well forgive me if I cry on my computer and make the words run off the screen.

Whew, deep breath, calm down. Okay. I'm feeling better. Maybe not that big of a deal. Moving on.

Stephen did a somber impression of Maya Angelou and then a more upbeat impression of Kid Rock. They are sort of the poets for each of the presidential campaigns. You decide which poet belongs to which candidate. Stephen also mentioned an excellent documentary that CNN did on bears a few years back. I missed that documentary but it sounded like it was quite informative.

Sasha Issenberg chatted with Stephen briefly and told him what was a very surprising piece of information. Based on everything that is known about Stephen Colbert, there is a 94% chance that he will support Obama. Now you know why polls and surveys and predictions can be so "iffy." Everyone knows Stephen Colbert is a conservative. And he's supporting Obama! Wow - do fish swim? Is the Pope Catholic? I could go on, but you get the idea. Stephen Colbert votes for Obama. Please. Really, please.

Tomorrow is the... The Election. The race is "razor tight" according to nearly everyone. With that said, Stephen talked about his upcoming guest, Nate Silver, New York Times Polling Jedi and author of the Five Thirty Eight blog. In 2008, Nate Silver correctly predicted 49 out of 50 states.

One of the first things Stephen said is that even a stopped clock is right 98% of the time. So, a good introduction to percentages. Nate Silver is now predicting that Barack Obama has a 86.3% chance of being re-elected! He is so sure of it that he even had a famous bet with Joe Scarborough about the outcome of the presidential election.

Stephen, along with many other people, is skeptical of Nate Silver's predictions. In fact, this is what Stephen said on the subject:

"I am not the only one tarnishing Silver's sterling reputation."

(I'll wait while you let that clever quote sink in. Stephen was oh-so-pleased with himself.)

So, Nate Silver was on. He was on four years ago and received the famous "Colbert Bump" and since then has a pretty cushy job over at New York Times. Most likely thanks to Stephen. Nate has a book out, looks quite interesting if you judge a book by its cover and also by the words inside. The book is, "the signal and the noise: why so many predictions fail --- but some don't." No, I was not too lazy to capitalize the words. They are all in lowercase on the book cover. I think that means the book is more down to earth and not as uppity as some people's books are. So, again, it sounds like a good book.

Stephen ended the show with these words:

GO VOTE!

Sound advice. Be sure to vote tomorrow. The lines my be long. But this is important. Your family is counting on you to vote. Your country is counting on you to vote. And Stephen Colbert is counting on you to vote. Don't make him cry.

Presidential Coverage

First of all, more exciting than you can imagine, Nate Silver, yes, THE Nate Silver will be Stephen's guest on The Colbert Report tonight. I am so pumped I can hardly sit still. The night before the Presidential Election and Stephen is able to grab Nate Silver. We will have the most influential person in the world interviewing the most knowledgeable political guru in the world. Buy Nate's book. Also, you can visit his blog, Five Thirty Eight. Does it get any better?

Apparently, yes, it will. Tomorrow night there will election coverage. Not just election coverage, but ELECTION COVERAGE.

First will be "Election Night 2012: This Ends Now." That is Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. Next will be "Election 2012: A Nation Votes, Ohio Decides; The Re-Presidenting of America: Who Will Replace Obama? '012!" That of course is Stephen Colbert with The Colbert Report.

If that isn't good enough for you, both shows will be simulcast on MTV's Times Square JumboTron as well as some live streaming. Find out more here and remember, please don't leave "garbage" in Times Square.

Around the Corner

You need more diversion. You need something educational, cultural, amazing and corny. I have just the thing for you. This is what Special Effects  used to look like. It's about nine and a half minutes long but it is really neat.

I can honestly say, "This is different. Or should I say, differential"?

Gangnam Style

Are you getting a little weary of the Presidential Election? It will be over soon (I hope). In the meantime, how about a little diversion and something completely different? Here's something from The Ellen Show.

Gangnam Style Mom and Son
Mike and Laura Song dance to Gangnam Style. You know they're good. Otherwise , Ellen would not have invited them to be on The Ellen DeGeneres Show!

Enjoy.

They Wear Denim

Sad news that Stephen reported last night. He had to, and this was hard for him to say, ride the bus to work. There were members of the public, people, also on the bus. And they were wearing denim, lots of denim.Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon.

Stephen had a Tip of the Finger, no a Wag of the Hat, no, it was either a Tip of the Hat or a Wag of the Finger for Memoto. That's a small camera that you can wear on your person. It takes a photo every 30 seconds. Wow. This is great. I can't believe humans have evolved as much as they have without this clever device before. Your life in pictures, everything you do all day long. And hey, don't worry about someone else taking photos that seem somewhat invasive of other people's privacy. It says on their website not to take inappropriate pictures, so problem solved.

Stephen did note that if he had had this Memoto earlier this year, he could have captured the beginning and the end of Tim Pawlenty's presidential election in two pictures.

Here's something that pundits have been talking about since Mitt Romney started running for president. I don't have that exact date that Mitt Romney started running for president, but that isn't important here. What is important is whether or not Mitt's Mormon religion will turn some voters away.

Luckily, Billy Graham stepped up to the plate at just the right moment. Whereas Mormons used to be on Billy Graham's Cult List, the Mormon religion or Latter Day Saints, has been removed recently and they are no longer a Cult in Billy Graham's humble opinion. Stephen called this a miracle. Billy Graham is now pledging to do all he can to help Romney.

David Byrne and St. Vincent were the guests last night. They had a lively discussion, with Stephen happy to point out the vast difference in the age of those two. So, it's not as if he called David Byrne old. I would imagine you might just say he is youth-challenged. One of the first thing the three of them did was to figure out a way to raise money for the victims of Hurricane Sandy. It was a very interesting approach, partly because the hurricane caused the predicament that would then become the means of raising money. That Stephen Colbert has such great ideas.

Stephen asked both of them if being artists and musicians made them feel like they missed out on the opportunity to be ordinary. But both David Byrne and St. Vincent, or Annie as Stephen called her, claimed to believe that they were just ordinary folk.

Finally, time for some music. And as usual some bonus music on the web at Colbert Nation.

Grace and Grit

First of all, donate to the Red Cross. That was the first thing on Stephen's mind as he finally was able to broadcast the show. You can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross to aid in their relief efforts for all the people affected by Hurricane Sandy.

Stephen also gave a big shout-out to the nurses, or heroes as he calls them, who evacuated 20 newborns from NYU Langone Medical Center, carrying them down the stairs while holding flashlights to see. Also a big thank-you to the worker who was in a tree cutting down branches with a chainsaw so that the branches would not fall and cause further damage.

"In a tree with a chainsaw - safest place to be in a hurricane." Stephen knows his hurricane preparedness!

Also Stephen heaped praise on Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey, for his tireless efforts to get help for the people in his state also hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. (It's sadly ironic that Sandy will also be known for all the sand it has moved around, sand that doesn't flow back to sea after the storm is over.)

Stephen talked briefly about Mitt Romney's sudden change of events. No longer was he going to campaign in Ohio. Now he was going to have a charity event. Not necessarily helpful.

Providing in-depth commentary to all the recent events about Hurricane Sandy was R.E.M. member and The Colbert Report studio statuette, Michael Stipe. It was refreshing to get his perspective.

Interestingly enough, Mitt Romney has said prior to Hurricane Sandy that he believes States rather than FEMA should provide disaster help. Yes, agreed Stephen. After all, "Who better to respond to what's going on inside its own borders that the state whose infrastructure has just been swept out to sea?" And in a Romney administration, Paul Ryan will personally come to your devastated town and wash your already clean pots.


In these time of trial we always have Donald Trump's Twitter Feed. You may remember his offer of $5 Million Dollars to Charity? He has extended the deadline a few hours. In appreciation, Stephen has extended his deadline on his own offer to Donald Trump. Stephen called Donald's offer a "heartwarming act of extortion lost in Hurricane Sandy suffering.

Again, Stephen suggests we all give generously to the Red Cross.

Stephen's guest last night was Lilly Ledbetter. Stephen is so generous to his guests that she got to stay in a total of three hotels since she came to New York on Sunday. They talked about her struggle to get equal pay for equal work. The story is all in her book and interestingly enough, the first law Barack Obama signed is named after her. Go out and buy Grace and Grit My Fight for Equal Pay and Fairness at Goodyear and Beyond. Then read it to find out what she and Stephen were talking about.

Final time for the night. Text RED CROSS to 90999.