Kermit the Frog

Stephen started off tonight with just a quick reference to something Rick Santorum seems to be in favor of - making teleprompters illegal.

"See, I always believed that when you run for president of the United States, it should be illegal to read off a teleprompter."

That gets a laugh for him and it also seems to play well with Newt Gingrich supporters when Gingrich tells teleprompter jokes. I wonder if there are more important things to talk about, such as jobs maybe. And what would happen if a candidate used a teleprompter? Would they immediately go to jail without passing Go? And has Santorum really ALWAYS believed that? I remember my English teacher teaching us that we should never use the word "always" when we are writing something and that we should always avoid using the word "never" when writing something. So I'm a little bit skeptical that Santorum has always believed that. And if candidates can't use a teleprompter, will they be stuck using a Hand-o-prompter?

Time will tell with that issue, but in the meantime, more primaries are coming up. Voters in Louisiana are getting ready for the primary on March 24. (Important note - That is a Saturday.) Who is going to take the bayou? What better expert could Stephen get for an opinion on the Bayou State than that man about town, Colbert Report's Chief Swampland Political Analyst, Kermit the Frog. (Wild Applause. )

Stephen asked for Kermit's analysis of the GOP race. Kermit explained that he is just a frog and doesn't know much about politics but according to his schedule, he is here to tell everybody that, "his new movie The Muppets is coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20." (More wild applause.)

Stephen kept pushing Kermit, even showing a video clip of "Mitt Romney" who was a regular on Sesame Street with Kermit. Again Kermit claims that he doesn't talk politics, that he considers himself an amphibitarian. He is not partisan. "Republicans, Democrats, Independents, all will enjoy the newest movie The Muppets coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20."

Again, Stephen pushed Kermit, asking what he thought about Newt. Well, that really got Kermit going. He was upset that just because frogs and newts are amphibians, Kermit would of course know Newt. But finally, Kermit gave a really good analysis and Stephen let him put in a plug for The Muppets coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20. The audience goes wild. Stephen Colbert goes wild, and Kermit the Frog goes wild. Yeaaaaa Yeaaaaa Yeaaaaaa.

I wonder if this is the first time a frog has gotten The Colbert Bump.

Keeping with the animal theme and moving right along, Monkey on the Lam. It's been a while since Stephen talked monkeys or anything remotely similar. Probably because he got talked into a banana Ponzi scheme by a monkey. Stephen gave him bananas, the monkey ate them and Stephen was supposed to make money. It sounded like a sure bet. (Apparently not!)

A gorilla, that's right, a gorilla is supposedly on the loose in Alabama. It's not known how many there are roaming around, but Stephen is concerned they may have voted in the Alabama Primary. This is good justification for Voter ID laws according to Stephen. Or, it might have been a bear. I'm sure we will hear more about all of these topics, gorillas, Voter ID, and bears from Stephen in the future.

Finally, Stephen had a person on tonight. Mark McKinnon was on to talk about No Labels. They have a 12-Step Program, including ideas such as:

1. No Budget, No Pay
2. Up or Down Vote on Presidential Appointments
3. Fix the Filibuster
8. No Pledge but the Oath of Office

and more really good ideas, ideas like, oh, talking to each other.

So go over and look at No Labels and see what you think.