Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Shredded Cardboard Soaked in Vinegar

I think Stephen must have spent time in Washington D.C. over Spring Break because he had another BKAD segment. (Better Know A District) Last night he interviewed Congressman G. K. Butterfield of North Carolina's First Congressional District. Stephen was confused during some portions of the interview, but that is to be expected considering, as I said, he probably did the interview during Spring Break. They talked of many things, though, and we even got treated to an impromptu facsimile of a Thelonious Monk song by Stephen. Thelonious Monk was born in North Carolina, so that was the connection and the reason for Stephen breaking out in jazz.

The two men also talked about the Voting Rights Act, which Congressman G. K. Butterfield supports and racism which Stephen thinks is a thing of the past. Congressman Butterfield explained to Stephen that just because Barack Obama is President that does not mean racism has ended. Next the two talked about tobacco and pre-schoolers and again I suspect that Stephen was confused. Congressman Butterfield wants to use tax money from tobacco to help fund programs for young children. Stephen thinks Congressman Butterfield wants to charge too much money for young children to purchase tobacco products. Perhaps if Stephen thinks about it some more, he will see the light.

I did not realize that there are many different recipes for what you would call Bar-B-Q. Stephen had two different examples and, although Congressman Butterfield is from North Carolina, he told Stephen that the plate of Bar-B-Q from South Carolina was by far the best Bar-B-Q.

So, Bryan Cranston was on the show again, unfortunately, without roller skates. We all remember Stephen's Best Performance (scroll down in the post ***) the last time Bryan Cranston showed up on the show. But this time Bryan Cranston was promoting "All The Way" which is a play on Broadway about President Lyndon Johnson. Unfortunately, the sound on my TV machine was cutting in and out, so I did not hear everything that Bryan Cranston and Stephen talked about. I think they talked about elephants because I heard the name Jumbo, which can only be a name of an elephant. Also, Bryan Cranston demonstrated how an elephant would pick up things using his trunk.

Also interesting is that if you go look at Wikipedia's entry about the Voting Rights Act, you can scroll down (about a fourth of the way) and watch some actual video of President Johnson speaking about the Voting Rights Act.

I will try to catch this episode online and if there are any changes I need to make about the interview, I'll be sure to get that done. But I'm pretty sure they were talking about elephants.

*** Stephen also apparently spent Spring Break revamping the website Colbert Nation. You may see a note that says "Don't Freak Out but this video is no longer available. Try scrolling down a bit if you don't see the StePhest Colbchella -013 Daft Punk'd video. It may just be waiting for you under that Freak Out blurb.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Agreed Mutual Interruption

In addition to spending a lot of time this past week on the Internet, I also went shopping for a new microwave. I thought I would get the one that Stephen stole from Bill O'Reilly, but alas, it was Kevin McNamara who had the winning bid of $5,400. This auction benefited the Yellow Ribbon Fund, so that's a good thing.

Tomorrow night you can watch "The Story of the Jews." Simon Schama was Stephen's guest on his last show before Spring Break. It was fascinating to learn some of the lesser known tidbits about the Jews. It was also an interesting interview because neither man seemed to be able to finish a sentence without the other interrupting. But still they communicated very well.

Fernwood Tonight

Stephen has been on "Spring Break" and so I also partook of a bit of a break. Looking back I think I may have spent too much time on the Internet. Let me explain. Back on March 12 when Maria Schriver was the guest, Stephen talked a bit about President Obama being interviewed on Between Two Ferns by Zach Galifianakis.

The problem is, and this is not that much of a problem, Stephen called it Between Two Fernwood Tonights. Stephen was obviously confusing Between Two Ferns and Fernwood Tonight. It's an easy mistake to make. But by doing so, he took some of the attention away from the whole point of the interview on Funny or Die's Between Two Ferns which was to spotlight the Affordable Care Act. You should go to HealthCare.gov to find out about the ACA or Obamacare as most people like to call it. Stephen made a point of not mentioning healthcare.gov. Repeatedly.

So that's that. But now the fallout. Many people have complained about the president making this web video with Zach Galifianakis. There is a good reason for the complaints and it was Bill O'Reilly who brought it into the ball park. "Abe Lincoln would not have done it." That's right, Friend of the Show and boyhood chum of Abraham Lincoln knows that Abe would never have made a web video that had comedic undertones.

Here's how I can be sure that he is right. I have spent much of the time since Stephen aired that video clip (of Papa Bear) looking online for any evidence of any videos that Abraham Lincoln might have done back when he was president. I could not find a single one. Not one. Oh, there were some look-alikes doing videos but none that could be confirmed as being the true Abe. So, Bill O'Reilly was right. Abe Lincoln would not have done it. Part of me wishes I wouldn't have spent so much time on the Internet. But I learned one other thing. There are plenty of cute kitten videos on the web.

In an unrelated segment. Stephen talked (after his microphone was turned back on) about the health situation in Nicaragua. But there didn't seem to be much factual content so Stephen just skimmed over that part.

Maria Shriver was on the show and although she was talking about serious stuff, it was still a very upbeat interview. Take a look. Lots of good information.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

D. All Of The Above

Again, more religion news. Do you have your own magazine? I didn't think so. Well the Pope does! A weekly magazine, "Il Mio Papa" is being published in Rome. How I wish I was in Rome now so that I could pick up the first magazine. Every week there will be a pullout centerfold. Of the Pope. (What were you thinking, for heaven's sake???)

There was also a short segment on the younger generation and a report in Huffington Post or Huff Po or Huffing Post. Seems like the name and aim keeps evolving...

Even as some things about the SAT keep changing, some things stay the same. To the dismay of older employees, employers are asking for SAT scores for upper management jobs. Stephen had a bit of help for those who will be taking the test. Just remember these words: SAT, Panic, Anxiety, Hysteria, Horror, Failure. And now my suggestions: Do your best and don't worry. It's just a test.

Ronan Farrow was Stephen's guest on Tuesday. Stephen mentioned his age (26) five times on the show. Lots of people are 26, but most people did not finish high school at 11, finish college at 15 and go to law school at 16. Also, most people do not have their own TV show on msnbc when they are 26 years old.

Ronan revealed that Stephen Colbert was his role model, basically his Papa Bear (not to be confused with Il Mio Papa). In addition to that, he studies Stephen's shouting technique, I suppose so that he can have a show that is more informative. Stephen offered up some of his ideas for producing real political change in our country.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

It's True Whether or Not You Believe In It

There's been lots about religion (or not) on the show and Stephen highlighted recent events by various organizations. Some groups want a plaque, others just want to scratch and burp.

But most of the show on Monday was all about Neil deGrasse Tyson. To prove what goes around, comes around, but in a very nice way, we found out that Neil deGrasse Tyson actually met Carl Sagan. Now Neil deGrasse Tyson is hosting Cosmos, A Spacetime Odyssey, just like Carl Sagan also hosted Cosmos.

This was the tenth time Neil deGrasse Tyson has been on The Colbert Report. (And yet there was no cake, no balloons, no award? Oh well.) The first part of the interview was background information about Neil deGrasse Tyson. By the age of 11, when people would ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up, Neil deGrasse Tyson would tell them astrophysicist. And then they would just walk away.

The second part of the interview was about science. Stephen wanted to start some controversy, but Neil deGrasse Tyson was, dare I say it, too smart for Stephen. Neil deGrasse threw out the ideas of a multiverse and dark energy. Stephen thought that there should always be two sides to any discussion of science, sort of a fair and balanced approach. For example, if you have discussion about the earth being round, it only makes sense to bring on someone to talk about the earth being flat.

While Stephen wondered if science is legitimate, that is, is the science in on science, Neil told him that once science has spoken, that's it. Here's what their discussion boiled down to as Neil told Stephen,"You get to say the world is flat because we live in a country that guarantees your free speech, but it's not a country that guarantees that anything you say is correct."

When Stephen appeared dumbfounded, Neil added, "I'm just saying."

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Mr. Smarty Pants

Happy Birthday. Sadly, you might get in trouble singing "Happy Birthday" in a public place. Have you been paying royalties when you sing it? I didn't think so. Now I understand why some of those restaurants I go to have their own versions or chants when celebrating customers' birthdays. Happily, Stephen sang a "Happy Birthday" song for us that we can all use whenever and wherever we want.

Stephen's guest way back on Thursday was Theaster Gates. Yet another guest who does it all. Stephen introduced him to us. He is an artist and holds a Masters Degree in Fine Arts, Religious Studies, Ceramics and Urban Planning, and currently he is Director of the Arts and Public Life Initiative at the University of Chicago, and the Founder of the nonprofit Rebuild Foundation. Amazingly, after reading all this off his cheat sheet, Stephen still had time to look at some examples of Theaster Gates' work and spend some time talking with him. You can see some of his work here at Kavi Gupta Gallery. I can't even begin to imagine how he can do all this and still have time to give Stephen the Theaster Gates Bump, oops I mean still have time to come on the show and get the Colbert Bump.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Zip & Go, Bing, Bing, Bing

Bill O'Reilly seems to be tiptoeing around hinting about what would happen if Hillary Clinton would be elected President. Stephen pointed out that the current "decor" in the Oval Office has more of a masculine theme, but, hey, I think it could be changed. Stephen then became more technical and scientific with his analysis of the whole men vs women as POTUS. He claimed that while men can be ready to go at a moment's notice, women tend to take a more leisurely approach, choosing to send off a letter via one of those weird mailboxes.

Bill'O also predicted that things would happen if Hillary Clinton were President. Things such as ships sailing in the water or testing the waters. That reminds me of a fortune teller saying, "You will meet a tall, dark stranger" or "You will come upon some unexpected riches." Those things happen all the time, so quite a safe prediction. Something, anything will happen and Mr. O'Reilly will say, "See, I told you so." (Bing bing bing.)

In Tip/Wag, Stephen talks about Chevron handing out pizza coupons. Find out about that here. Stephen pointed out that it's the least, literally the least that Chevron could do.

Stephen also talked about the Updated Nutrition Facts labels that the FDA has been talking about. There okay, but Stephen really only needs to know if it's sweet or spicy, soft or crunchy, and, well ...  Mouth.

Stephen had more about Campaign Contributions last night when he interviewed Beau Willimon, creator of "House of Cards." Kevin Spacey stars as Frank Underwood. (I wonder, does Kevin Spacey have the most appropriate last name ever?) Stephen compared Kevin Spacey to members of Congress and notes the similarities. Part of the appeal of the show is that Frank Underwood is able to accomplish stuff. After Beau Willimon explained some of the inner workings of the show, Stephen looked directly into the camera and said, "At this point, I knew I had him."

Beau Willimon also told Stephen how important compromise is in actually getting stuff done. Stephen had an opinion on that and expressed it to Beau Willimon. It was a short and to the point.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Campaign Contributions

Stephen featured Crimea in his never-ending segment "*Better Know A Geopolitical Flashpoint*" which is fine, but he still hasn't finished doing "Better Know a District." In fact my district got nothing more than a two-second flyby. But I guess there is more going on in Crimea than in my home district, so I will be a grown up and not complain.

Part of the reason Stephen did a segment on Crimea was to highlight the Cold War. Part of the reason he highlighted the Cold War was to show off his Shoe Phone and his Shoe Answering Machine. And part of the reason he wanted to show off his Shoe Phone was to demonstrate how amazingly limber he is. Thanks hot yoga.

As all the unrest is going on over in Crimea and the Ukraine, President Obama is being criticized by politicians and people on TV who talk about news events. President Obama is spotted in the Oval Offices wearing jeans and a casual shirt while talking to Vlad Putin on a 90 minute phone call. This is wrong of course. He should be wearing:

* Suit and Tie because otherwise he doesn't look like he cares what Americans and the world think
or
* No shirt because you know that's what Putin is wearing and it looks like the President doesn't care what Americans and the world think

With all this controversy and whining, Stephen has decided to conduct his own poll. I believe it will be every bit as valid as the one over at Fox News. Go to Colbert Nation .com and answer the question:

"What do 'You' think about what Americans think world leaders think about President Obama?"

You choices are:
Yes
No
Vegetarian Option

Just look for that blue banner, with the words TAKE THE POLL NOW right above the video of Stephen. If you care about the world, you should take the poll. Let Stephen know what you think.

Stephen is outraged by the veto last week by Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona SB1062. Stephen had some insight into her daily meetings with Hansel and Gretel which I was not aware of. But never mind that. Basically, it was all about cake and pastry. Some, however, say that this was about discriminating against the gays. Others say it is about "self-professed behavior." Case in point, Steve King of Iowa. Stephen had a clear explanation of this whole issue.

What it all boils down to is it would be helpful to send "verification" to Steve King to clear up any confusion that might exist. Here's the address:

Representative Steve King
2210 Rayburn Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

A good suggestion from Stephen Colbert about the material you send to Steve King is to label it Campaign Contributions thusly:

Campaign Contributions
Rep.Steve King
2210 Rayburn Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

This will guarantee that the Rep Rep (short for Republican Representative) Steve King will read it.

Stephen's guest last night was basically someone who does it all. Jaron Lanier is a computer scientist, a composer, a visual artist, an author, the father of Virtual Reality, a scientist, a scholar, and an inventor. That list is probably not complete. He also has great hair and a wonderful laugh which was demonstrated audibly as he watched Stephen work his way slowly from the journalism desk to the interview desk. Stephen, you better be careful; you do not want to break your wrist again!!! Jaron Lanier  has a book out, "Who Owns the Future?"

I am sure the interview could have gone on for an hour, but I will just talk about a few ideas thrown out. Jaron Lanier said that real wealth is community wealth. That's the basic 'we all do better when we all do better' line of thought. Both men were wearing special eyeglasses that gave them special powers. Our middle class is disappearing. Stephen thinks virtual reality could solve that problem, but I think he was not thinking it through completely.  As smart as Jaron Lanier is, he admitted at the end of the interview that basically, Stephen had won the interview. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Average American Joe, Domestic Beer, and NASCARs

Stephen talked about the Oscars and about Matthew McConaughey's best hero of many times, but I figure if you are interested in the Oscars, you watched it over and over. And if not, then you don't need Stephen to tell you about it. (No offense Stephen and now Stephen says none taken.)

So, then, on to something that not many people are aware of - The Affordable Care Act, also known as ObamaCare. You may remember Rep Rep (that's short for Republican Representative) Cathy McMorris Rodgers of Washington talking about ObamaCare when she gave the GOP response to the SOTU.

A woman, going by the name of  "Bette in Spokane" lamented the fact that she had to pay nearly $700 more per month for health care. Stephen point out, as did this article in The Spokesman-Review about Bette in Spokane, revealed the reason. She wouldn't go on the Obama website, choosing instead the wise decision to just go without health care. (No way that can turn out badly.)

Turns out there's lots more  stories out there about horror stories that don't hold up when scrutinized. (I know, I know, some of you out there don't care all that much for facts, but just read on.) The Los Angeles Times had an article, "Maybe there are no genuine Obamacare horror stories."

Here's the part now for those of you who don't like facts. Stephen showed an ad by Americans for Prosperity that showed sad people unhappy with Obamacare. Problem is, those people in the ad.... they are all paid actors. So said Reverend Al Sharpton on msnbc. Stephen made a comment about Rev. Al's journalistic credentials, but really, aren't Stephen and the Rev about equal as far as journalistic degrees.

As a treat to people who want to hear from salt of the earth type of people to get their facts, Chuck Dupree of Louisiana, a hard-working fisherman, was on the show to talk about Obamacare. Chuck confirmed to Stephen that he was not an actor and he couldn't lie about that because it's the law. We heard all about his hard life and health problems and the problems caused by The Affordable Care... The Affordable Care... Stephen hollered "Act" and Chuck hollered back that he was trying to. After Chuck Dupree's son and his understudy son came on, I started to wonder about the veracity of this whole account by this fisherman.

His final words were about state run insurance exchanges.

Stephen did a wonderful segment about Sports Illustrated models. He talked about Barbie and had a short interview with Mrs., let's call her Mrs. Spud. It was okay, but it was just talk. I think it would be so much better if he had Barbie on for actual interview. He's able to get supermodels on his show, this should be a no-brainer.

Stephen's guest, Caitlin Flanagan, was there to drink beer and talk about fraternities with Stephen. It was an interesting interview, but here's an idea. Just go read her article in The Atlantic about fraternities and you will get an even better idea of what the interview merely touched on.

Stephen reminded us at the end of the show to go see a play which featured Patrick Stewart in it.

Monday, March 3, 2014

It's the Most Fun You Can Possibly Have .... Besides This

As we watched last week come to an end, Stephen was frosting on Wedding Cake on Thursday's show. It was not the best Wedding Cake I have ever seen. In fact, he was kind of sloppy about slopping the frosting on. But I am sure anyone would have been thrilled to have a cake baked and frosted and decorated by him at their wedding. From what he said, I expect he will be making more cakes. It seems like destiny and I say, "Good Job Stephen and Congratulations to the Happy Couple."

Stephen celebrated Black History Month by basically admitting he was not well prepared. He had a cartoon about Laser Klan. I'm still waiting for another Tek Jansen episode, so hopefully we will see that soon. Maybe Tek Jansen has moved on to other acting pursuits or even directing or producing movies. Maybe he could just do a cameo appearance in something.

Jeff Goldblum was Stephen's guest and he was actually interviewed this time. Of course, most people will remember him from "Tenspeed and Brown Shoe." Currently he is starring in the Wes Anderson movie, "The Grand Budapest Hotel," which, judging by the photo of it at that link, looks like an elegant hotel that would make for a relaxing few days away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Stephen was able to push Jeff Goldblum to admit that he is a liberal, you know, on the side of the more progressive thinkers. Luckily, Stephen had Jimmy edit that part out so we didn't see that faux pas. Stephen saw the movie and said he cried. But he also said it was hilarious. If you were lucky enough to be in that movie, I guess you were able to have fantastic dinners each night. Stephen might be willing to take a bit part in a gig like that, just for the fun and food.

By the way, you might want to consider watching "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" on Friday night of this week. No special reason, just an idea.