If you are looking to head to the beach this weekend, you could head North. The North Pole is now sitting in the North Pole Lake. That's right, for the past 10 summers, the North Pole has turned from ice to water. This should make you think about Climate Change with a whole new perspective.
Congress. Still working just as hard as you think they are. That is not much of a compliment, in case you are wondering. Stephen mentioned HR 2904, a House bill that the Republicans are hoping Obama will sign and sign quickly. It's that one that says, "This is not another repeal of Obamacare, we swear, but don't look inside, just sign it! sign it!"
Senator Mitch McConnell was given a shout-out on the show. Although he has the nickname of Senator Gridlock, in part because of his numerous filibusters, he is taking heat from Tea Party groups who complained about his progressive liberal voting record.
This points up a problem in Washington. Some members of Congress might try to get stuff done, but then voters hold them accountable for what they have done. The solution is to keep it all secret until the year 2064 when Honey Boo Boo is president. So, Congress will do the People's Business, but it's just none of the People's Business to know about it.
Another Senator was mentioned, that Canadian favorite son, Ted Cruz. He and Stephen Colbert are in some sort of (private???) contest to see who is the most humble. Every day Ted Cruz (apparently) reminds himself of how humble he is. I just wish there was some way the two men could meet and have an official humility contest. Stephen Colbert would be way better than Ted Cruz. His humility is one of the traits he is proudest of.
Stephen's guest was Atul Gawande, a surgeon AND journalist, among other things. Go just read that first paragraph about him here at Wikipedia and you'll probably agree that he's a busy man. And yet he had time to be on the The Colbert Report. He also is an associate professor over at Harvard. I think that might be why he was one of those guests who is surprised when Stephen interrupts him. (Sorry Stephen, but it's true. Sometimes you don't let your guests finish saying what they were talking about.) Perhaps as a surgeon and a professor, Atul Gawande is used to people listening to everything he says and not asking questions until he asks if there are any questions from anyone. This is pure speculation on my part.
Anyway, he wrote an article for The New Yorker about "Slow Ideas." You should read it. If you think it is too long, then just read one page per day and in a week you will be done reading it. I will mention that Stephen did joke a bit with him about writing about Slow Ideas and then publishing it in a magazine.... Whatever.
Okay, let me check:
__ Title for this post - done
__ North Pole - done
__ Congress - done
__ Mitch McConnell - done
__ Honey Boo Boo - done
__ Ted Cruz - done
__ Atul Gawande - done
Great. I remembered to write about everything on my checklist. (And only one day late.) Well done. Pat myself on the back.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
The Lumineers
We found out that under Obamacare, the health insurance premiums in 11 states and DC are down about 20% from projections for 2014. Obamacare is working!
Don't worry, Republicans have tried 39 times to (symbolically) repeal Obamacare and there's no hint that they will stop trying over and over to repeal it. (Mostly so they can go back home and say, like Michele Bachmann did, that we repealed Obamacare. Fine, except that the Senate didn't and so it is a moot point. It is not repealed.)
If that doesn't work, here's something that might work and it's from Freedom Works, so right there in the name it makes it sound as if it just might work. They are announcing a "Burn Your Obamacare Card Campaign to Resist the Compulsory Health Care Law. So, I'll stop for a few minutes and you go get your Obamacare card out of your wallet.
Music to listen to while I wait for you to get your Obamacare Card.
What?!? You can't find it????? Well, that's because there is no such thing as an Obamacare Card. Not to worry. Freedom Works is going to make up one and put it on their website or some such thing. Then you can use that, or as Stephen suggested, print it, cut it, laminate it, and then burn it.
Back in the 1960's, people, meaning 18 year-old guys, would burn their draft card. This was to show opposition to the Vietnam War. Some are suggesting there is a similar thing happening here, but Stephen wasn't buying it completely. To be in harmony with what they did way back then, you would also need to move to Canada.Which is a wonderful idea because they have a great health care plan there.
In order to clear up the whole Benghazi controversy, Representative Steve Stockman rolled out a 60 foot-long petition on the steps of the Capitol. Wow! Do you have any idea how many thousands of signatures would be on a petition that long? Well, actually, only 1000 signatures were on it, but they were very big signatures. Stephen Colbert has plans to do better than that. He has a 65-foot petition that is 2-ply and he's not just going to roll it down the steps of the Capitol, he's going to drape the place with the petition.
We had a little bit of British culture and a little bit of North Carolina humor and then The Lumineers were on the show. That was Wesley Schultz, Neyla Pekarek, and Jeremiah Fraites. They are one of the few bands I know of that have made a point of emphasizing their Before and After talent. They had a subdued conversation with Stephen and then they played some music and of course if you go to Colbert Nation, there's a bonus song.
Update: I now realize that Stephen wasn't telling a joke about North Carolina, he was explaining existing or planned laws in North Carolina. Such things as making couples wait two years before getting a divorce, allowing North Carolina to declare a State Religion, deciding that Charter School teachers don't really actually need to have a college degree to teach core subjects, (let the 6th graders teach the 5th graders was Stephen's great idea) and allowing people to bring guns to bars and playgrounds. Then instead of kids in the playground playing Duck Duck Goose, they could play Duck Duck DUCK!
Don't worry, Republicans have tried 39 times to (symbolically) repeal Obamacare and there's no hint that they will stop trying over and over to repeal it. (Mostly so they can go back home and say, like Michele Bachmann did, that we repealed Obamacare. Fine, except that the Senate didn't and so it is a moot point. It is not repealed.)
If that doesn't work, here's something that might work and it's from Freedom Works, so right there in the name it makes it sound as if it just might work. They are announcing a "Burn Your Obamacare Card Campaign to Resist the Compulsory Health Care Law. So, I'll stop for a few minutes and you go get your Obamacare card out of your wallet.
Music to listen to while I wait for you to get your Obamacare Card.
What?!? You can't find it????? Well, that's because there is no such thing as an Obamacare Card. Not to worry. Freedom Works is going to make up one and put it on their website or some such thing. Then you can use that, or as Stephen suggested, print it, cut it, laminate it, and then burn it.
Back in the 1960's, people, meaning 18 year-old guys, would burn their draft card. This was to show opposition to the Vietnam War. Some are suggesting there is a similar thing happening here, but Stephen wasn't buying it completely. To be in harmony with what they did way back then, you would also need to move to Canada.Which is a wonderful idea because they have a great health care plan there.
In order to clear up the whole Benghazi controversy, Representative Steve Stockman rolled out a 60 foot-long petition on the steps of the Capitol. Wow! Do you have any idea how many thousands of signatures would be on a petition that long? Well, actually, only 1000 signatures were on it, but they were very big signatures. Stephen Colbert has plans to do better than that. He has a 65-foot petition that is 2-ply and he's not just going to roll it down the steps of the Capitol, he's going to drape the place with the petition.
We had a little bit of British culture and a little bit of North Carolina humor and then The Lumineers were on the show. That was Wesley Schultz, Neyla Pekarek, and Jeremiah Fraites. They are one of the few bands I know of that have made a point of emphasizing their Before and After talent. They had a subdued conversation with Stephen and then they played some music and of course if you go to Colbert Nation, there's a bonus song.
Update: I now realize that Stephen wasn't telling a joke about North Carolina, he was explaining existing or planned laws in North Carolina. Such things as making couples wait two years before getting a divorce, allowing North Carolina to declare a State Religion, deciding that Charter School teachers don't really actually need to have a college degree to teach core subjects, (let the 6th graders teach the 5th graders was Stephen's great idea) and allowing people to bring guns to bars and playgrounds. Then instead of kids in the playground playing Duck Duck Goose, they could play Duck Duck DUCK!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Cantaloupe Calves
Is nothing what it seems any more? The Town Crier who so eloquently, if unintelligibly, yelled out that the Royal Baby had been born, is apparently fake. Okay, he is real, but he is not a real Town Crier for London or for the Royalty. His name is Tony Appleton and he does weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs. I don't know quite what he does at those events, maybe he just yells. He took it upon himself to announce the news and it certainly looked like he had a jolly good time doing it.
In another city in another country, Detroit could use a good Town Crier. You know, someone to yell at people to get going, get stuff done, take care of each other. Detroit is officially bankrupt and everyone is blaming the problems on the Unions. This is bad news for retirees who were counting on their "lavish" pensions that average $19,000.
On the show to tell Stephen about how Detroit is going to survive was Stephen Henderson of the Detroit Free Press. He is optimistic. Stephen Colbert suggested everyone in Detroit get malaria so that Bill Gates would come in and save the town. You probably know that everyone is suggesting that the Detroit Institute of Arts sell off its treasures. Stephen Henderson is not a fan of that because, well all those things are treasures of Detroit. Stephen Colbert believes manufacturing is a thing of the past in Detroit. Stephen Henderson believes manufacturing is a thing of the future in Detroit.
Steve King (is everything tonight about Stephens and Stevens?) is fond of saying all sorts of things. Recently he claimed that young illegals weigh 130 pounds, have calves like cantaloupes and are hauling drugs across the desert.
He also recently compared immigrants to dogs, according to some people. Friend of the show and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos recently asked Steve King about his comments. No no no no. Jorge Ramos had it all wrong. Steve King was "celebrating" legal immigrants with his comments.
It's easy to understand. For example, Stephen called Steve King a tool. That is a compliment. A tool is a useful implement.No need for Steven King to be offended by that.
Senator Olympia Snowe was on the show as the guest. I think she was scheduled to be on earlier this year but things happened and she was not on until now. She is a rare creature, a moderate Republican. She brought diversity to the Republican party, i.e. political diversity. They both agreed that many moderate Republicans are in the closet. She has a book out, "Fighting For Common Ground - How We Can Fix the Stalemate In Congress."
Stephen handed her a challenge. "Getting something done. Sell me on it."
Whoa! Then Stephen threw some challenging stuff at her. John Boehner recently said that the job of Congress is not to pass laws, it's to repeal them. Mitch McConnell had as a goal making Barack Obama a one-term president. Neither man said anything about getting something done.
Stephen and Olympia Snowe disagreed further. She thinks the purpose of being in public office is to get something done. He thinks the purpose is of being in public office is to stay in public office.
(As if that isn't enough to disagree on, she doesn't think Stephen should have been able to have a Super PAC)
Even tougher question for her, considering how important it is to her to get something done - "Why did you leave the Senate?"
"Because the polarization wasn't going to diminish, and I wanted to take my fight outside of the Senate."
(Be sure to go to that link about Olympia Snowe. You can see a photo of the huge snowman built in her honor. Just scroll down the page a bit.)
In another city in another country, Detroit could use a good Town Crier. You know, someone to yell at people to get going, get stuff done, take care of each other. Detroit is officially bankrupt and everyone is blaming the problems on the Unions. This is bad news for retirees who were counting on their "lavish" pensions that average $19,000.
On the show to tell Stephen about how Detroit is going to survive was Stephen Henderson of the Detroit Free Press. He is optimistic. Stephen Colbert suggested everyone in Detroit get malaria so that Bill Gates would come in and save the town. You probably know that everyone is suggesting that the Detroit Institute of Arts sell off its treasures. Stephen Henderson is not a fan of that because, well all those things are treasures of Detroit. Stephen Colbert believes manufacturing is a thing of the past in Detroit. Stephen Henderson believes manufacturing is a thing of the future in Detroit.
Steve King (is everything tonight about Stephens and Stevens?) is fond of saying all sorts of things. Recently he claimed that young illegals weigh 130 pounds, have calves like cantaloupes and are hauling drugs across the desert.
He also recently compared immigrants to dogs, according to some people. Friend of the show and Univision anchor Jorge Ramos recently asked Steve King about his comments. No no no no. Jorge Ramos had it all wrong. Steve King was "celebrating" legal immigrants with his comments.
It's easy to understand. For example, Stephen called Steve King a tool. That is a compliment. A tool is a useful implement.No need for Steven King to be offended by that.
Senator Olympia Snowe was on the show as the guest. I think she was scheduled to be on earlier this year but things happened and she was not on until now. She is a rare creature, a moderate Republican. She brought diversity to the Republican party, i.e. political diversity. They both agreed that many moderate Republicans are in the closet. She has a book out, "Fighting For Common Ground - How We Can Fix the Stalemate In Congress."
Stephen handed her a challenge. "Getting something done. Sell me on it."
Whoa! Then Stephen threw some challenging stuff at her. John Boehner recently said that the job of Congress is not to pass laws, it's to repeal them. Mitch McConnell had as a goal making Barack Obama a one-term president. Neither man said anything about getting something done.
Stephen and Olympia Snowe disagreed further. She thinks the purpose of being in public office is to get something done. He thinks the purpose is of being in public office is to stay in public office.
(As if that isn't enough to disagree on, she doesn't think Stephen should have been able to have a Super PAC)
Even tougher question for her, considering how important it is to her to get something done - "Why did you leave the Senate?"
"Because the polarization wasn't going to diminish, and I wanted to take my fight outside of the Senate."
(Be sure to go to that link about Olympia Snowe. You can see a photo of the huge snowman built in her honor. Just scroll down the page a bit.)
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
A Boy Named Sue
Yes, Stephen did mention the Royal Baby's new name, George Alexander Louis (or GAL for short as I like to point out). He also explained the inspiration for the name. It's Seinfeld! Who would have thought? George from George Constanza, Alexander from Jason Alexander who played George Costanza and Louis from Julia Louis-Dreyfuss who played Elaine. He also compared the basic premise of Seinfeld, a show about nothing, to the British Monarchy. It makes perfect sense when he explains the rationale behind the naming convention.
The next news tidbit that Stephen went on about in great length was about he who must not be mentioned. Okay, what I mean by that is that you would have to be living in a cave not to know what story Stephen was talking about. I'll just say this. You (he who must not be mentioned) need to think of your young son. It's not as if you named him Sue, but still, he will have a lot of baggage to carry around with that last name. You are just making it worse for him, so stop it. Or at least, just take pictures of your feet or knees or ears. Enough said.
Kanye West has a clothing line and it is exciting. Hurry to your nearest store and get the Kanye West clothes that you have always wanted. For example, you might want to get the T-Shirt for $120. It's white, has ribbing at the neck and short sleeves. Only problem is it's sold out already. There is a solution. Buy some Tube Socks from Stephen for only $75 a package. And if that's not enticing enough for you, Stephen is having a Hip Hop Yard Sale this weekend. You can get some used VHS tapes, a Hip Hop spatula, coloring books, computer cables, and a Hip Hop Croquet Set.
Education. Anant Agarwal, Professor at M.I.T., was Stephen's guest tonight. He is the President of edX. The two men talked about education, about getting a great education at great universities by taking online courses for free. Stephen has a problem with that, kind of similar to the old "milk for free so why buy the cow" scenario. Anant Agarwal is a firm believer in free education. He says it will make the world a better place. But he had Stephen somewhat confused. Anant Agarwal said the students learn from each other and the teachers learn from the students. Stephen has a bit of a worry about becoming obsolete. He was assured that it will be better and that we are all learners, we are all teachers.
Here's the link to edX homepage or you can take a look here at some of the courses. The include Aerodynamics, Biology, Energy, and even a Demo course about edX.
The next news tidbit that Stephen went on about in great length was about he who must not be mentioned. Okay, what I mean by that is that you would have to be living in a cave not to know what story Stephen was talking about. I'll just say this. You (he who must not be mentioned) need to think of your young son. It's not as if you named him Sue, but still, he will have a lot of baggage to carry around with that last name. You are just making it worse for him, so stop it. Or at least, just take pictures of your feet or knees or ears. Enough said.
Kanye West has a clothing line and it is exciting. Hurry to your nearest store and get the Kanye West clothes that you have always wanted. For example, you might want to get the T-Shirt for $120. It's white, has ribbing at the neck and short sleeves. Only problem is it's sold out already. There is a solution. Buy some Tube Socks from Stephen for only $75 a package. And if that's not enticing enough for you, Stephen is having a Hip Hop Yard Sale this weekend. You can get some used VHS tapes, a Hip Hop spatula, coloring books, computer cables, and a Hip Hop Croquet Set.
Education. Anant Agarwal, Professor at M.I.T., was Stephen's guest tonight. He is the President of edX. The two men talked about education, about getting a great education at great universities by taking online courses for free. Stephen has a problem with that, kind of similar to the old "milk for free so why buy the cow" scenario. Anant Agarwal is a firm believer in free education. He says it will make the world a better place. But he had Stephen somewhat confused. Anant Agarwal said the students learn from each other and the teachers learn from the students. Stephen has a bit of a worry about becoming obsolete. He was assured that it will be better and that we are all learners, we are all teachers.
Here's the link to edX homepage or you can take a look here at some of the courses. The include Aerodynamics, Biology, Energy, and even a Demo course about edX.
George Alexander Louis
George Alexander Louis. That's the baby's name. They had three opportunities to name the Royal Baby "Stephen" and they passed on all three chances. It could have been Stephen George Alexander, or George Alexander Stephen or Louis Stephen George.
Many of those names have already been used. Indeed, when he is King, he will be George VII. I suppose even if we started a petition to rename the baby Stephen, it probably wouldn't make a difference now. And if they would have had a contest in England, what if he ended up being Harry Potter? Oh, well. I guess it's true what they say that the parents get to choose the baby's name.
So, he will now be known as His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge or GAL for short.
Many of those names have already been used. Indeed, when he is King, he will be George VII. I suppose even if we started a petition to rename the baby Stephen, it probably wouldn't make a difference now. And if they would have had a contest in England, what if he ended up being Harry Potter? Oh, well. I guess it's true what they say that the parents get to choose the baby's name.
So, he will now be known as His Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge or GAL for short.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The Prince of Wails
Sir Stephen Colbert Presents
Royal Afterbirth
Labour Party
Fetal Attraction
Birthing-Hips Hip Hoorah
The Prince of Wails
Spotted Dick, It's A boy!
'013!
Well now there's no time left to say much more than the Royal Baby was born and we still don't know his name. I'm sure that news will be reported everywhere when we know and of course it will be reported here also.
In The Word we learned that we are in a Color-bind and probably the obvious way to overcome our racial inequalities is for black people to become Senators. That sounds like a good idea. It worked out well for Barack Obama.
You might think drones are a bad thing, but do you like pizza? Someday you may (or may not) be able to get your Domino's Pizza delivered via a drone. Is it practical you ask. No, probably not. What are the ramifications of having a pizza delivered that way? Stephen showed us by letting us watch his dream while it was happening. It was a wonderful idea up until a certain point when his dream turned into a nightmare. Even now, we can't be sure if Stephen is awake yet and if he has recovered from the scary outcome of the pizza drone delivering for Stephen.
Kenneth Goldsmith was the guest tonight. You know how sometimes Stephen just looks so handsome in his suit? Well Kenneth Goldsmith took the honors tonight. A pink suit, pink and white striped shirt, one red sock, one green sock, black and white saddle shoes, black and white striped bow tie and a straw hat meant that he outshone Stephen in the fashion department.
Kenneth Goldsmith is Poet Laureate for MoMA. The two well-dressed men talked about his book, "Seven American Deaths and Disasters" which he didn't write, and yet he takes credit for it. The talk was fascinating but Stephen did mention that "It feels Vampiric."
Royal Afterbirth
Labour Party
Fetal Attraction
Birthing-Hips Hip Hoorah
The Prince of Wails
Spotted Dick, It's A boy!
'013!
Well now there's no time left to say much more than the Royal Baby was born and we still don't know his name. I'm sure that news will be reported everywhere when we know and of course it will be reported here also.
In The Word we learned that we are in a Color-bind and probably the obvious way to overcome our racial inequalities is for black people to become Senators. That sounds like a good idea. It worked out well for Barack Obama.
You might think drones are a bad thing, but do you like pizza? Someday you may (or may not) be able to get your Domino's Pizza delivered via a drone. Is it practical you ask. No, probably not. What are the ramifications of having a pizza delivered that way? Stephen showed us by letting us watch his dream while it was happening. It was a wonderful idea up until a certain point when his dream turned into a nightmare. Even now, we can't be sure if Stephen is awake yet and if he has recovered from the scary outcome of the pizza drone delivering for Stephen.
Kenneth Goldsmith was the guest tonight. You know how sometimes Stephen just looks so handsome in his suit? Well Kenneth Goldsmith took the honors tonight. A pink suit, pink and white striped shirt, one red sock, one green sock, black and white saddle shoes, black and white striped bow tie and a straw hat meant that he outshone Stephen in the fashion department.
Kenneth Goldsmith is Poet Laureate for MoMA. The two well-dressed men talked about his book, "Seven American Deaths and Disasters" which he didn't write, and yet he takes credit for it. The talk was fascinating but Stephen did mention that "It feels Vampiric."
Naked 50 Year-Old Man
Stephen did report that the Royal Baby has been born. The baby has no name yet, so I'll just call him Baby Stephen. There will be team coverage on this story Tuesday night probably dependent on whether or not Stephen can actually find a team to cover the story.
In other news, friend of the show Helen Thomas died. She was a ground-breaking journalist and likely influenced many other journalists, including ours truly, Stephen Colbert. Geraldo Rivera had to get in on the news cycle and I found this photo and also this one. (Now I understand what I saw on the Daily Show with that photo of Jon Stewart.)
Stephen talked about the evils of minimum wage and even mentioned Charles Koch when talking about the subject of paying workers. McDonald's is concerned about their workers and has a great idea. The workers, their employees, need to develop a budget and thus there won't need to be all this talk about minimum wage, in that there won't be a need to raise the minimum wage. I found a little bit about the budget here at Consumerist and they pointed out, as Stephen did, that there was no money to spend on heat. One other thing, you need to work 2 jobs in order to make the budget work.
There were a few things I wondered about when looking at the budget journal. If I ride my bike to McDonald's, is there a bike rack for me to lock it to? And for all the other employees' bikes? How much money do I need to save for my goal of going to college? And how old will I be when I have saved enough? One of the tips for being good with my money is to shop with a list so that I can save money. If I shop with two lists, will I save twice as much money? In the Frequently Asked Questions section, are those really the kind of questions that are frequently asked? I would have asked "What am I going to do if I break my leg at work? How much money should I plan on spending on a computer and Internet service so that I can look at the website? If I'm working two jobs, when am I going to find time to budget?"
Neil deGrasse Tyson was not on the show, but Stephen mocked his mocking of intelligent life on Earth. Some people wonder why we haven't been contacted by aliens yet. Neil deGrasse Tyson suggests that perhaps we have been observed and the aliens decided there was no intelligent life on Earth. Well that really got Stephen going and the logical conclusion to all of this ended up being a special relationship that Stephen has with a piece of Linguine.
The guest last night was Kjerstin Gruys and she looked marvelous. I had to say that because it's possible she didn't check herself in a mirror before she came on the show. She has a book out now. "Mirror Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year." It took her a year to write that book, obviously. I mean it says "Year" right there in the title. But it probably would have taken less time if the title had been shorter. Anyway... she talked with Stephen about mirrors and self-image and planning a wedding. Stephen added constructive advice.
It got me to thinking. What would it be like to go a year without looking in a mirror. You ask your friend, "Do I have any broccoli in my teeth?" Your friend smiles to himself, tells you No, and then wishes you good luck on your job interview. And of course you do have broccoli in your teeth and so you don't get the job and you have to work at McDonald's and now you have to revise your budget.
Note: This is the updated version of my post. So, those of you who read it shortly after midnight, now there is more to read. Of course, if you thought you had read it all and didn't come back later and read this, you aren't going to know I updated it. Never mind.
In other news, friend of the show Helen Thomas died. She was a ground-breaking journalist and likely influenced many other journalists, including ours truly, Stephen Colbert. Geraldo Rivera had to get in on the news cycle and I found this photo and also this one. (Now I understand what I saw on the Daily Show with that photo of Jon Stewart.)
Stephen talked about the evils of minimum wage and even mentioned Charles Koch when talking about the subject of paying workers. McDonald's is concerned about their workers and has a great idea. The workers, their employees, need to develop a budget and thus there won't need to be all this talk about minimum wage, in that there won't be a need to raise the minimum wage. I found a little bit about the budget here at Consumerist and they pointed out, as Stephen did, that there was no money to spend on heat. One other thing, you need to work 2 jobs in order to make the budget work.
There were a few things I wondered about when looking at the budget journal. If I ride my bike to McDonald's, is there a bike rack for me to lock it to? And for all the other employees' bikes? How much money do I need to save for my goal of going to college? And how old will I be when I have saved enough? One of the tips for being good with my money is to shop with a list so that I can save money. If I shop with two lists, will I save twice as much money? In the Frequently Asked Questions section, are those really the kind of questions that are frequently asked? I would have asked "What am I going to do if I break my leg at work? How much money should I plan on spending on a computer and Internet service so that I can look at the website? If I'm working two jobs, when am I going to find time to budget?"
Neil deGrasse Tyson was not on the show, but Stephen mocked his mocking of intelligent life on Earth. Some people wonder why we haven't been contacted by aliens yet. Neil deGrasse Tyson suggests that perhaps we have been observed and the aliens decided there was no intelligent life on Earth. Well that really got Stephen going and the logical conclusion to all of this ended up being a special relationship that Stephen has with a piece of Linguine.
The guest last night was Kjerstin Gruys and she looked marvelous. I had to say that because it's possible she didn't check herself in a mirror before she came on the show. She has a book out now. "Mirror Mirror Off the Wall: How I Learned to Love My Body by Not Looking at It for a Year." It took her a year to write that book, obviously. I mean it says "Year" right there in the title. But it probably would have taken less time if the title had been shorter. Anyway... she talked with Stephen about mirrors and self-image and planning a wedding. Stephen added constructive advice.
It got me to thinking. What would it be like to go a year without looking in a mirror. You ask your friend, "Do I have any broccoli in my teeth?" Your friend smiles to himself, tells you No, and then wishes you good luck on your job interview. And of course you do have broccoli in your teeth and so you don't get the job and you have to work at McDonald's and now you have to revise your budget.
Note: This is the updated version of my post. So, those of you who read it shortly after midnight, now there is more to read. Of course, if you thought you had read it all and didn't come back later and read this, you aren't going to know I updated it. Never mind.
Monday, July 22, 2013
It's A Baby Boy
Finally, and I only wish I had stayed in England a little bit longer. Anyway, it's a Royal Baby Boy. I'm wondering if his name will be Stephen. Here's hoping.
Okay, this next part is only speculation. Will we see a Town Crier dressed in royal red clothes ringing a bell for tonight's show? It is a possibility, although someone would have to really scramble to get the appropriate costume. And yet, it almost seems like Stephen might have a town crier suit in his closet. Not that he is outspoken or opinionated. I'm just saying.
Okay, this next part is only speculation. Will we see a Town Crier dressed in royal red clothes ringing a bell for tonight's show? It is a possibility, although someone would have to really scramble to get the appropriate costume. And yet, it almost seems like Stephen might have a town crier suit in his closet. Not that he is outspoken or opinionated. I'm just saying.
Friday, July 19, 2013
No Baby Yet
Just about the time I finally decide to pack up and head back across the pond, it looks like the Royal Baby will show up soon. I spent all that time in England waiting for baby news and the baby didn't show up. I should have stayed just a little bit longer.
What this means is that I missed out on lots of episodes of the The Colbert Report and it will take monumental effort on my part to get caught up on posting. Whew, it will be a labor of love, but I will give it my best. Soon.
What this means is that I missed out on lots of episodes of the The Colbert Report and it will take monumental effort on my part to get caught up on posting. Whew, it will be a labor of love, but I will give it my best. Soon.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
You're Here, You're Clear
Now I'm home and Stephen is on a two week break. That's okay, it gives me a chance to get caught up. Too bad I wasn't paying more attention when I was over in Moscow. It seems that Edward Snowden was or is at the Moscow airport. It would have been great to get a few photos of him, maybe get an interview that I could post here. I guess the airport is just too big and it's hard to keep track of everyone who is there.
Anyway, Stephen was concerned about the whereabouts of Edward Snowden and just a bit confused about what he looks like. For a short time, he was ready to believe that Jay the Intern was in reality Edward the Snowden (i.e. a white guy with glasses). Until Jay the Intern pointed out to Stephen that first of all, "No, I'm Jay," and secondly that he (Stephen) was also a white guy with glasses. Quick thinking, Jay.
In news that's happening, the Tea Party is unhappy. I should clarify since no one seems to know exactly what or who the Tea Party is. A bunch of people showed up to vent anger, and considering the amount of hot dogs and beans being eaten, to vent a lot of other stuff. They are mad at the IRS. Luckily, Michele Bachmann was there to tell them, "You're Here. And you're Clear. With your message." Stephen added that "if you happen to be queer my husband runs a camp that can cure you with Jesus."
Darrell Issa, apparently one of the richest Congressmen as evidenced by all the extra letters in his name, is one of the people heading the charge for the Tea Party. He investigations showed that, "Certain things are true." Elijah Cummings released all pertinent information which is not what Darrell Issa wanted done. He only wanted the truth, but then Elijah Cummings had to go and release the whole truth. Darn. That showed that it was a conservative Republican at the IRS looking into the Tea Party.
Stephen, as you all know, invented truthiness. Now, with the help of a human centipede, he has invented truthinews. Simply put, the media ask the vast audience out there in TV Land or Radio Land or Internet Land what they think they know, then the media reports it back to them. It's great. For example, Bill O'Reilly has found out that 75% of the people who believe it's a good idea to watch his show, believe what he tells them. I can't help but think that number should be higher. Why would you watch the Factor if you thought it didn't have the appropriate amount of truthiness? For the comedic relief???
Andrew Solomon was the guest on Stephen's show way back on, when was that (?), June 24. Both Stephen and Andrew paid attention to the calendar and dressed appropriately for "Light Blue Shirt Yellow Tie Day." They discussed Andrew Solomon's newest book, "Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity." And I know I say this about a lot of books, but this one really does seem very interesting. So, yes, go out and buy it. It's not Tek Jansen, but I think you will find it a good read just the same.
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