Pacquin Hand Cream

Merry*Christmas.

Well, since Stephen is on vacation, I'm left with no other choice but to fill in for him with the stories that I think he would have had on his show if he was actually working this week.

I'll start off today with one of his favorite topics - pharmaceuticals and by that I mean health and beauty aids. There is a cornucopia of hand and body lotions out there for the American consumers to buy. They're okay. However the best one out there is no longer out there. Well, one or two jars are out there. Today there is a 4-oz jar of the Medicated Pacquin Hand Cream on ebay for $75. Why $75? Because Pacquin Hand & Body Cream has been discontinued. I'm assuming the Pacquin product line was bought out by Johnson and Johnson, and then Johnson and Johnson discontinued the product. Back when you could buy Pacquin Hand & Body Cream in any corner drug store, the price was in the $5.00 to $7.00 range for an 8-oz jar!

So, what this means is that Stephen should have Prescott Pharmaceuticals purchase the patent for Pacquin Hand & Body Cream and start making and selling it. With his name and picture on the jar and with the very loyal consumers who are just begging for this product back, he could make hundreds and by hundreds I really mean millions of dollars.

Pacquin Hand and Body Cream needs the famous "Colbert Bump".

Complete Factual Inaccuracy

The title refers to Stephen's segment on Papa Bear. If you want to know more about that, find tonight's show on the internet. By the way, this was the last show for 2010! No more shows until 2011. argh.

But of course the highlight was Amy Sedaris doing crafts with Stephen. She has written another book, "Simple Times, Crafts for Poor People." One of her crafts that she shared was homemade cookies - sort of. Instead of actually baking cookies, she saves crumbs all year long and puts them on a plate. She puts a note about enjoying her homemade cookies on the plate with the crumbs. This is a real time saver, plus it costs next to nothing. Almost as imaginative is Stephen's dreidel which he turned upside down, painted green and turned into a Christmas Tree.

Fans of Stephen Colbert or Amy Sedaris may remember that they starred together in "Strangers with Candy" where Amy played Jerri Blank and Stephen was Chuck Noblet.

Many of you probably confuse Amy Sedaris with Martha Stewart but there is an easy way to tell them apart. Amy Sedaris is an actor who portrayed a woman, Jerri Blank, who went to prison. Martha Stewart actually did go to prison. Other than that, they are pretty much the same.

Amy Sedaris, on a more serious note, made a plug for animal adoption. The website Whiskers in Wonderland links to the Animal Alliance of New York City, which helps people adopt pets.

Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome

Last night, Stephen Colbert poked fun at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Actually he called it the Minneapolis Metrodome if I remember correctly.

Anyway, there was a lot of snow in Minneapolis, as well as across the whole Midwest. That can be a headache, what with the shoveling and the plowing and the snowballs and things like that. But it was an especially big headache for the Metrodome and the Vikings. They were scheduled to play against the Giants on December 12. Unfortunately, the Metrodome roof ripped and then deflated from the weight of the snow.

It's unfortunate, but at least it wasn't during a game or other event when there might have been lots of people on the Mall of America Field. The game was postponed and eventually played in Detroit! The Giants won, but the Vikings came in at second place.

Anyway, the photo shows the roof of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in better days. The roof is intact and as a bonus, you can see the pre-game show by the University of Minnesota Marching Band (the Pride of Minnesota) before a Gopher Game. The roof is quite inflated. The lights and speakers are high above the field and there are no rips.

There's talk, (well there's always talk) of building a new stadium for the Vikings. Maybe it will happen, maybe not. But it got me to wondering, what will they do with this stadium? Will they abandon it? Will they build something else on the site? If you look at the photo, the top half of seating is above ground level, and the lower half is below ground level. Presumably when the stadium was built, lots of dirt was hauled away. Will they bring that dirt back? Perhaps the best thing would be that when another stadium is built, they just bring that dirt here. Even if the Vikings move to another state, they would need a stadium there, so the dirt could just be transported from that state to Minnesota. That makes sense.

Journalism

Tonight, Stephen Colbert indicated that one of his writers had found a credit card, MasterCard to be more specific, of a certain Buckley T. Ratchford, a Wall Street banker. Mr. Colbert wants to interview a Wall Street banker, so it works out well for both of them.

Mr. Buckley T. Ratchford should come on The Colbert Report to be interviewed and in return, Stephen won't reveal the MasterCard number. As a teaser tonight, he revealed that the first digit of the number is 5.

That is called an incentive.

The incentive for Buckley T. Rachford is to come on Colbert Report sooner rather than later, so that no more numbers on his credit card are revealed. The incentive for Stephen is, well there isn't one for Stephen. He just keeps doing what he always does.

Suggestion for Stephen Colbert if Buckley T. Ratchford chooses to not come on Colbert Report. Use the MasterCard as a Christmas Tree Ornament.

Priceless.

* Photo is not actual credit card.

Colbert Meet Garland

An interesting piece of trivia that most everyone knows is that the Smithsonian has Dorothy's Ruby Slippers* on display. Dorothy Gale of course was played by Judy Garland in the famous film, The Wizard of Oz.

Another very famous piece of Americana has been donated to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. The immensely patriotic, one-piece, stars and stripes jumpsuit worn by Stephen at the historic Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear was, yes indeed, donated to the Smithsonian on Wednesday's show.

And the boots, too. So that puts Dorothy's Ruby Slippers and Stephen's White Boots on equal footing (oh the pun of it all) in one of the most famous museums of all time and space.

Brent Glass, Director of the National Museum of American History, was on The Colbert Report to accept the donation from Stephen Colbert.

Can you stand some more excitement in one posting? The famous portrait of Stephen Colbert will be going back on display at the very same Museum of American History on December 26, 2010. Could there be anything better to happen this Holiday Season?

* Note: Photo not actually of Dorothy's Ruby Slippers.