Etch A Sketch

Stephen is back and apparently I was completely wrong about where he was and what he was doing all last week. He was actually on Spring Break, enjoying 84 degree weather while we were stuck with 82 degree weather. Although Stephen seemed to have enjoyed the pleasant weather for his Spring Break, he also seemed miffed that spring had sprung. He blamed it all on Punxsutawney Phil. Probably he should be renamed Prevaricator Phil.

Even though it was Spring Break, Stephen kept up with the news and politics. President Obama expressed sympathy for the family of Trayvon Martin. And Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich expressed outrage that the President did this. We can't ask Trayvon Martin what happened. But there is a top legal mind who fingered the real culprit - The Hoodie. According to Fox News contributor Gerlado Rivera, "The Hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin's death as George Zimmerman was."

I know that you can find images over at Google of Geraldo Rivera wearing Hoodies, so we know he is aware of fashion. Perhaps Geraldo Rivera could write some sort of book where he gives all kinds of fashion advice of what kids like Trayvon are permitted to wear and what they are not permitted to wear. Stephen even suggested that Congress pass Hoodie control legislation.

Toys seemed to be a favorite topic tonight. That old favorite Etch A Sketch has been in the news quite a bit lately. Romney Campaign Senior Adviser Eric Fehrnstrom made a comment about political campaigns and Etch A Sketch that seemed to point out Romney's reputation as a flip-flopper. Rick Santorum said after that comment by Fehrnstrom that, "My public policy isn't written on a Etch A Sketch. It's written on my heart."

"Of course," said Stephen, "the only way to read what's written on Rick Santorum's heart is with a Trans Vaginal Ultrasound." Stephen went on to mention other toys, Mr. Potato Head, the Magical Treasure Troll, the totally smooth Ken Doll, Silly Putty, Lincoln Logs and a Lego man with a nice head of hair. Anyway, sales are through the roof for Etch A Sketch, and hopefully the other toys got The Colbert Bump and will see increased profits.

Stephen's Guest tonight was Dr. David Page, MIT Professor and Director of Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research. In keeping with Stephen's fondness for toys tonight, Dr. David Page brought something that seems to me is probably a toy, but I don't know the name for it. He used it as a prop for X and Y chromosomes. Last time I checked, chromosomes were much smaller than what he had on the show. He explained that we all have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Of those 23 pairs, 22 are the same in males and females. The 23rd pair is two matched X chromosomes in females, but it men, it is a mismatched X and Y chromosome. Stephen asked about his fear, based on rumors, that the Y chromosome is becoming extinct and that eventually males will not be on this planet. Dr. Page assured Stephen that he need not worry. The Y chromosome and men in general are not going to disappear.