You heard it here first (that is, if you didn't hear it somewhere else first) about Paul Benefiel wanting to start a Super PAC in Texas. Stephen liked his idea and the rest is history, or it will be history once it is accomplished and in place and happening. Then it will become history. I suppose now it is merely current events, but check back in the future when this will indeed be history.
Anyway, go listen to local (short advertisement and then) news and then hear Paul explain what is up with Texas. It is so gratifying to know that there are young minds at work, thinking and planning for a good future for our country and planet. Hurray for UT Austin. Hurray for Texans For a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
Don't mess with Texas.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Happy Birthday Amy
I read somewhere recently that Friend of the Show, Amy Sedaris has a birthday today. So Happy Birthday to Amy. I hope she can find someone to make some yummy cupcakes for her.
Texans For a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow
Lotto Fever is everywhere. Tomorrow is the drawing for the Mega Millions Jackpot. It's at $540 Million, but don't bother to buy a ticket. Stephen has the winning ticket: 01 02 03 04 05 06 which is the same as his bank PIN - oops, edit that out, Jimmy.
Stephen shared the science of picking numbers according to a segment on Good Morning America.
1. Make sure the numbers you play have never come up before.
2. Pick your own numbers.
At this point, Stephen plugged his new book, "Stephen Colbert's How To Win a Coin Toss Every Time." And he demonstrated exactly how he can do that. Amazing!
The Wisconsin Primary is coming up and you would think that Wisconsinites would like Rick Santorum, given that he's a wheel of Colby Cheese - not that sharp and holier than thou. But in recent polls, he is at 31% compared to Romney's 38%. Part of that may have something to do with the amount of money being spent supporting each of those two candidates.
And that leads us into a discussion of Super PACs. According to chron.com, more Texans have contributed to "Stephen Colbert's Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" than have contributed to pro-Romney's "Restore Our Future." And according to The Hill, "the explosion of Super PACs is likely being fueled by a surge of media interest..." and "...Stephen Colbert has brought the issue to late-night television."
As popular as Stephen's Super PAC is, it could be even better. Stephen received an email from Paul at the University of Texas in Austin talking about his urge to start a Colbert Super PAC organization at his school:
"We would table in front of our main building, hold meetings, gather emails for a mailing list, and hold talks at other political organization meetings."
Stephen looked at his audience members and asked, "Should I give my blessing to college students to set up Super PACs?" Wow, talk about the roar of the grease paint, the smell of the crowd. I could barely hear what Stephen was saying, his fans were cheering so loudly! And thus is born Texans For a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
Every college should have a Super PAC and Stephen has a Super PAC kit which can be yours for a simple donation of $99. Just head over to www.ColbertSuperPAC.com to get your Super Fun Pack. You get a FEC filing form and cover letter, a Super PAC Instruction manual, an Allen wrench, a dorm room sign, Colbert Super PAC tube socks, an actual Treasure Map, a Turtles Don't Like Peanut Butter t-shirt and more, much, much more!!! (Perhaps an appearance by Stephen Colbert at your college campus????
After this much excitement, it was time for a funny story, so here goes. "You may remember that my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors...and they had a factory in Michigan...he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now, later, he decided to run for Governor of Michigan..and I recall at one parade, where he was going down the streets, he was led by a band...and his band did not know the Michigan fight song. It only knew how to play the Wisconsin fight song. So every time they would start playing "On Wisconsin! On Wisconsin!", my Dad's political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop because they didn't want people in Michigan to be reminded that my Dad had moved production to Wisconsin."
- Mitt Romney, March 28, 2012
Said Stephen, "Good stuff - It's like he's on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour if the comedy was about losing blue collar jobs." And then a real treat, Stephen, who is not a comedian, did some actual stand up comedy so as to give Mitt some free material. So funny, I'm sure Mitt will be able to use those jokes.
Peter Beinart, Senior Political Writer for Daily Beast, was Stephen's guest tonight. His latest book is "The Crisis of Zionism." Stephen started out singing just a little bit of the theme from the movie "Exodus." (This Land is Mine.) They had a lively discussion and in just under 7 minutes, Peter Beinart and Stephen Colbert "were able to fix the whole Middle East thing."
Stephen shared the science of picking numbers according to a segment on Good Morning America.
1. Make sure the numbers you play have never come up before.
2. Pick your own numbers.
At this point, Stephen plugged his new book, "Stephen Colbert's How To Win a Coin Toss Every Time." And he demonstrated exactly how he can do that. Amazing!
The Wisconsin Primary is coming up and you would think that Wisconsinites would like Rick Santorum, given that he's a wheel of Colby Cheese - not that sharp and holier than thou. But in recent polls, he is at 31% compared to Romney's 38%. Part of that may have something to do with the amount of money being spent supporting each of those two candidates.
And that leads us into a discussion of Super PACs. According to chron.com, more Texans have contributed to "Stephen Colbert's Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" than have contributed to pro-Romney's "Restore Our Future." And according to The Hill, "the explosion of Super PACs is likely being fueled by a surge of media interest..." and "...Stephen Colbert has brought the issue to late-night television."
As popular as Stephen's Super PAC is, it could be even better. Stephen received an email from Paul at the University of Texas in Austin talking about his urge to start a Colbert Super PAC organization at his school:
"We would table in front of our main building, hold meetings, gather emails for a mailing list, and hold talks at other political organization meetings."
Stephen looked at his audience members and asked, "Should I give my blessing to college students to set up Super PACs?" Wow, talk about the roar of the grease paint, the smell of the crowd. I could barely hear what Stephen was saying, his fans were cheering so loudly! And thus is born Texans For a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.
Every college should have a Super PAC and Stephen has a Super PAC kit which can be yours for a simple donation of $99. Just head over to www.ColbertSuperPAC.com to get your Super Fun Pack. You get a FEC filing form and cover letter, a Super PAC Instruction manual, an Allen wrench, a dorm room sign, Colbert Super PAC tube socks, an actual Treasure Map, a Turtles Don't Like Peanut Butter t-shirt and more, much, much more!!! (Perhaps an appearance by Stephen Colbert at your college campus????
After this much excitement, it was time for a funny story, so here goes. "You may remember that my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors...and they had a factory in Michigan...he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now, later, he decided to run for Governor of Michigan..and I recall at one parade, where he was going down the streets, he was led by a band...and his band did not know the Michigan fight song. It only knew how to play the Wisconsin fight song. So every time they would start playing "On Wisconsin! On Wisconsin!", my Dad's political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop because they didn't want people in Michigan to be reminded that my Dad had moved production to Wisconsin."
- Mitt Romney, March 28, 2012
Said Stephen, "Good stuff - It's like he's on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour if the comedy was about losing blue collar jobs." And then a real treat, Stephen, who is not a comedian, did some actual stand up comedy so as to give Mitt some free material. So funny, I'm sure Mitt will be able to use those jokes.
Peter Beinart, Senior Political Writer for Daily Beast, was Stephen's guest tonight. His latest book is "The Crisis of Zionism." Stephen started out singing just a little bit of the theme from the movie "Exodus." (This Land is Mine.) They had a lively discussion and in just under 7 minutes, Peter Beinart and Stephen Colbert "were able to fix the whole Middle East thing."
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Don't Make Me Angry
As you may know, the Supreme Court is listening to arguments about the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. Some people don't like the mandate, not to be confused with man date. Stephen had Emily Bazelon, Legal Editor of Slate, on the show to discuss everything about this issue. It ended, as many interviews do, with Stephen accepting her apology.
Enough of reforming, let's try some conforming.
Lots of people are saying that young people are not excited about any of the Republican candidates. But as the kids would say, "Poppycock!" There's a conservative teen magazine for kids who are tired of doing their own thing and just want to conform. The magazine is called "The Conservative Teen" and has articles such as "Government Creates Poverty," and "Why Abstinence Works & How it Can Work For You." You can go to the website theconservativeteen.com but it's not there. It seems there has not been enough interest in the magazine to get it printed so it had been available online, but even that seems to be problematic.
Mark Ruffalo was the guest tonight. He talked about natural gas (we have 20 year supply not 100 year supply underground), fracking (yeah, it sounds bad), and water (the stuff we drink). In fact, he has a website - Water Defense - with lots of information about all those things plus more. At one point, Stephen and Mark were having a shouting match and a pointing battle. But the interview ended with Mark accepting Stephen's apology.
Stephen started out the show tonight by highlighting a sponsor, Kellogg's Crunchy Nut. And funny thing, that was one of the commercials after the interview and before Stephen said, "Good Night." I wonder if that was a coincidence.
Enough of reforming, let's try some conforming.
Lots of people are saying that young people are not excited about any of the Republican candidates. But as the kids would say, "Poppycock!" There's a conservative teen magazine for kids who are tired of doing their own thing and just want to conform. The magazine is called "The Conservative Teen" and has articles such as "Government Creates Poverty," and "Why Abstinence Works & How it Can Work For You." You can go to the website theconservativeteen.com but it's not there. It seems there has not been enough interest in the magazine to get it printed so it had been available online, but even that seems to be problematic.
Mark Ruffalo was the guest tonight. He talked about natural gas (we have 20 year supply not 100 year supply underground), fracking (yeah, it sounds bad), and water (the stuff we drink). In fact, he has a website - Water Defense - with lots of information about all those things plus more. At one point, Stephen and Mark were having a shouting match and a pointing battle. But the interview ended with Mark accepting Stephen's apology.
Stephen started out the show tonight by highlighting a sponsor, Kellogg's Crunchy Nut. And funny thing, that was one of the commercials after the interview and before Stephen said, "Good Night." I wonder if that was a coincidence.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
If I Only Had a Heart
Back in 1973, Johnny Carson said there was a toilet paper shortage. As a result of him saying this, everyone went out and stocked up on toilet paper and that created a toilet paper shortage. I bring this up because Stephen talked about a similar event that is happening now with guns. People think there won't be enough guns, so they go buy up all the guns they can find and now there is a gun shortage. It seems to me that late at night when you make the trek out to the trusty outhouse, you're going to want some toilet paper. A gun just won't do the job as well. You would have to be mighty desperate and you sure as heck better be mighty careful if you bring a gun instead of toilet paper. Shortages come and shortages go, but I'm sure we can all agree that when we go, we will want Charmin with us.
In a story that seems like it's right out of Wizard of Oz, Dick Cheney got a heart! (Scarecrow -- not so lucky.) Cheney has been waiting for a heart for about 20 months. This should make him appreciate Valentine's Day more than he ever has before. A word of warning to him. If he goes to San Francisco, he should be careful so that he does not leave his heart there.
The donor of the heart was anonymous, as is usually the case. In a surprise announcement, however, we learned that Stephen, yes, this Stephen Colbert, was the donor of a heart to Dick Cheney. It was generous of Stephen and a very unselfish thing to do, but as Stephen pointed out, we have two lungs, two kidneys, and two hearts, so he could afford to give up one of his hearts. At this point, one of the stage crew alerted Stephen and informed him that people only have one heart, not two. That proved to be troubling to Stephen. It explained why he was sluggish all day, and it got Stephen to scrambling to find a solution before he came back from the commercial break!
Tonight's guest was Charles Murray. He talked with Stephen about his latest book, "Coming Apart - The State of White America, 1960 - 2010." He is concerned because he says in this time period (1960 - 2010) we have developed classes in this country. If it keeps on, we won't be the America we knew. He says that the upper class runs the country and increasingly doesn't have the least idea how most Americans live, in fact, they are unaware of the working class and of how they live. Charles Murray talked about marriage then and now. In 1960, 84% of all white adults in the working class were married. In 2010, it's down to 48%.
It seems like a very interesting book - one that I would enjoy reading. I will get myself over to a bookstore tomorrow and buy it and read it. Charles Murray told Stephen that every important improvement in America started with a cultural shift. One of the things that contributes to that cultural shift is books. And that is why he writes books.
In a story that seems like it's right out of Wizard of Oz, Dick Cheney got a heart! (Scarecrow -- not so lucky.) Cheney has been waiting for a heart for about 20 months. This should make him appreciate Valentine's Day more than he ever has before. A word of warning to him. If he goes to San Francisco, he should be careful so that he does not leave his heart there.
The donor of the heart was anonymous, as is usually the case. In a surprise announcement, however, we learned that Stephen, yes, this Stephen Colbert, was the donor of a heart to Dick Cheney. It was generous of Stephen and a very unselfish thing to do, but as Stephen pointed out, we have two lungs, two kidneys, and two hearts, so he could afford to give up one of his hearts. At this point, one of the stage crew alerted Stephen and informed him that people only have one heart, not two. That proved to be troubling to Stephen. It explained why he was sluggish all day, and it got Stephen to scrambling to find a solution before he came back from the commercial break!
Tonight's guest was Charles Murray. He talked with Stephen about his latest book, "Coming Apart - The State of White America, 1960 - 2010." He is concerned because he says in this time period (1960 - 2010) we have developed classes in this country. If it keeps on, we won't be the America we knew. He says that the upper class runs the country and increasingly doesn't have the least idea how most Americans live, in fact, they are unaware of the working class and of how they live. Charles Murray talked about marriage then and now. In 1960, 84% of all white adults in the working class were married. In 2010, it's down to 48%.
It seems like a very interesting book - one that I would enjoy reading. I will get myself over to a bookstore tomorrow and buy it and read it. Charles Murray told Stephen that every important improvement in America started with a cultural shift. One of the things that contributes to that cultural shift is books. And that is why he writes books.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Etch A Sketch
Stephen is back and apparently I was completely wrong about where he was and what he was doing all last week. He was actually on Spring Break, enjoying 84 degree weather while we were stuck with 82 degree weather. Although Stephen seemed to have enjoyed the pleasant weather for his Spring Break, he also seemed miffed that spring had sprung. He blamed it all on Punxsutawney Phil. Probably he should be renamed Prevaricator Phil.
Even though it was Spring Break, Stephen kept up with the news and politics. President Obama expressed sympathy for the family of Trayvon Martin. And Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich expressed outrage that the President did this. We can't ask Trayvon Martin what happened. But there is a top legal mind who fingered the real culprit - The Hoodie. According to Fox News contributor Gerlado Rivera, "The Hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin's death as George Zimmerman was."
I know that you can find images over at Google of Geraldo Rivera wearing Hoodies, so we know he is aware of fashion. Perhaps Geraldo Rivera could write some sort of book where he gives all kinds of fashion advice of what kids like Trayvon are permitted to wear and what they are not permitted to wear. Stephen even suggested that Congress pass Hoodie control legislation.
Toys seemed to be a favorite topic tonight. That old favorite Etch A Sketch has been in the news quite a bit lately. Romney Campaign Senior Adviser Eric Fehrnstrom made a comment about political campaigns and Etch A Sketch that seemed to point out Romney's reputation as a flip-flopper. Rick Santorum said after that comment by Fehrnstrom that, "My public policy isn't written on a Etch A Sketch. It's written on my heart."
"Of course," said Stephen, "the only way to read what's written on Rick Santorum's heart is with a Trans Vaginal Ultrasound." Stephen went on to mention other toys, Mr. Potato Head, the Magical Treasure Troll, the totally smooth Ken Doll, Silly Putty, Lincoln Logs and a Lego man with a nice head of hair. Anyway, sales are through the roof for Etch A Sketch, and hopefully the other toys got The Colbert Bump and will see increased profits.
Stephen's Guest tonight was Dr. David Page, MIT Professor and Director of Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research. In keeping with Stephen's fondness for toys tonight, Dr. David Page brought something that seems to me is probably a toy, but I don't know the name for it. He used it as a prop for X and Y chromosomes. Last time I checked, chromosomes were much smaller than what he had on the show. He explained that we all have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Of those 23 pairs, 22 are the same in males and females. The 23rd pair is two matched X chromosomes in females, but it men, it is a mismatched X and Y chromosome. Stephen asked about his fear, based on rumors, that the Y chromosome is becoming extinct and that eventually males will not be on this planet. Dr. Page assured Stephen that he need not worry. The Y chromosome and men in general are not going to disappear.
Even though it was Spring Break, Stephen kept up with the news and politics. President Obama expressed sympathy for the family of Trayvon Martin. And Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich expressed outrage that the President did this. We can't ask Trayvon Martin what happened. But there is a top legal mind who fingered the real culprit - The Hoodie. According to Fox News contributor Gerlado Rivera, "The Hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin's death as George Zimmerman was."
I know that you can find images over at Google of Geraldo Rivera wearing Hoodies, so we know he is aware of fashion. Perhaps Geraldo Rivera could write some sort of book where he gives all kinds of fashion advice of what kids like Trayvon are permitted to wear and what they are not permitted to wear. Stephen even suggested that Congress pass Hoodie control legislation.
Toys seemed to be a favorite topic tonight. That old favorite Etch A Sketch has been in the news quite a bit lately. Romney Campaign Senior Adviser Eric Fehrnstrom made a comment about political campaigns and Etch A Sketch that seemed to point out Romney's reputation as a flip-flopper. Rick Santorum said after that comment by Fehrnstrom that, "My public policy isn't written on a Etch A Sketch. It's written on my heart."
"Of course," said Stephen, "the only way to read what's written on Rick Santorum's heart is with a Trans Vaginal Ultrasound." Stephen went on to mention other toys, Mr. Potato Head, the Magical Treasure Troll, the totally smooth Ken Doll, Silly Putty, Lincoln Logs and a Lego man with a nice head of hair. Anyway, sales are through the roof for Etch A Sketch, and hopefully the other toys got The Colbert Bump and will see increased profits.
Stephen's Guest tonight was Dr. David Page, MIT Professor and Director of Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research. In keeping with Stephen's fondness for toys tonight, Dr. David Page brought something that seems to me is probably a toy, but I don't know the name for it. He used it as a prop for X and Y chromosomes. Last time I checked, chromosomes were much smaller than what he had on the show. He explained that we all have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Of those 23 pairs, 22 are the same in males and females. The 23rd pair is two matched X chromosomes in females, but it men, it is a mismatched X and Y chromosome. Stephen asked about his fear, based on rumors, that the Y chromosome is becoming extinct and that eventually males will not be on this planet. Dr. Page assured Stephen that he need not worry. The Y chromosome and men in general are not going to disappear.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Storm Chaser Stephen
We all no doubt wonder what Stephen does with his time when he is not keeping us informed of the national and world events, politics, and music scene over at The Colbert Report. Today I think Stephen might possibly be spending some time being a Storm Chaser and trying to get video like this over at bing today. (If you look at bing after today, use the arrow at bottom of bing screen to go back and see the thunderstorm.)
We all know that Stephen is a brave individual, so it would not surprise me if he was traveling the country in a well armored vehicle exploring all that nature has to throw at us. He has been "off" for this week and thus we have had repeat shows for The Colbert Report. Of course, if you hadn't seen them when they were originally aired, then they were new to you.
Anyway, in case you are wondering why Stephen might be chasing storms today, well it is World Meteorological Day! I used to think that meteorological just meant a meteor that made a lot of sense, but no - it has to do with weather. So whether you are interested in weather or just looking for something to celebrate today, step outside and partake of the sun, the snow, the rain, or whatever is happening in your neck of the woods right now.
We all know that Stephen is a brave individual, so it would not surprise me if he was traveling the country in a well armored vehicle exploring all that nature has to throw at us. He has been "off" for this week and thus we have had repeat shows for The Colbert Report. Of course, if you hadn't seen them when they were originally aired, then they were new to you.
Anyway, in case you are wondering why Stephen might be chasing storms today, well it is World Meteorological Day! I used to think that meteorological just meant a meteor that made a lot of sense, but no - it has to do with weather. So whether you are interested in weather or just looking for something to celebrate today, step outside and partake of the sun, the snow, the rain, or whatever is happening in your neck of the woods right now.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Baking a Cake
I'm almost certain that today Stephen is baking a cake for his good friend Bill, or William Shatner as he is known to most of us. Why a cake and why today? Well, today is James T. Kirk's birthday. Or it will be in the year 2228.
I'm hoping that the cake looks like the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701). It might be a little bit difficult to get the cake to stand upright on a plate, but if he balances it carefully, he should have no trouble getting it to look perfect.
A marble cake with white fluffy frosting would taste best. He can use some of those shiny Christmas cookie decorations for windows. Or maybe a carrot cake with just plain white frosting if he wanted to make something a little bit healthier. Now I'm getting so hungry that I think I will make a cake, just a rectangular one, in order to help celebrate the future birthday of Jim Kirk.
If you want to read a bit more about James Tiberius Kirk, you can also look here at his official biography. I only glanced at it briefly, but I am seeing a bit of a discrepancy. Some sources say he will be born in 2228, and some say 2233. When the actual day of his birth rolls around, I will post the correct year here. Keep watching.
And if you want to celebrate the birthday of Captain James T. Kirk in his actual birthplace on Earth, look no further than Trekfest XXVIII in Riverside, Iowa.
So, it's a good day to bake a cake and I'm quite sure that is how Stephen is spending his day today. Let me know if I'm wrong and I will make that correction.
I'm hoping that the cake looks like the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701). It might be a little bit difficult to get the cake to stand upright on a plate, but if he balances it carefully, he should have no trouble getting it to look perfect.
A marble cake with white fluffy frosting would taste best. He can use some of those shiny Christmas cookie decorations for windows. Or maybe a carrot cake with just plain white frosting if he wanted to make something a little bit healthier. Now I'm getting so hungry that I think I will make a cake, just a rectangular one, in order to help celebrate the future birthday of Jim Kirk.
If you want to read a bit more about James Tiberius Kirk, you can also look here at his official biography. I only glanced at it briefly, but I am seeing a bit of a discrepancy. Some sources say he will be born in 2228, and some say 2233. When the actual day of his birth rolls around, I will post the correct year here. Keep watching.
And if you want to celebrate the birthday of Captain James T. Kirk in his actual birthplace on Earth, look no further than Trekfest XXVIII in Riverside, Iowa.
So, it's a good day to bake a cake and I'm quite sure that is how Stephen is spending his day today. Let me know if I'm wrong and I will make that correction.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Truthiness
If you are sad because Stephen is on some secret, special mission this week and you cannot watch new episodes of The Colbert Report on the TV machine, you can go over to Los Angeles Times and see his smiling face and read about his #InMyHeart tweets. It's a good reminder about being true and being true to your heart. (Turns out, being true and being true to your heart may not actually be the same thing.)
And then, you can go to Huffington Post to see what others are doing about Truthiness. It's very impressive because it is about people at Harvard and people at MIT, so it is about smart people. Smart is something Stephen knows a lot about! It's also about Truthiness, specifically, Truthiness in Digital Media. There's a "photo" of Stephen although it's not quite as big or handsome or flattering. (I take that back. I concede there is no such thing as an unflattering photo/picture/drawing of Stephen. This one just doesn't have him smiling, that's all I really mean.) Anyway, it is good to see how many other people and organizations share Stephen's quest for the truth.
Stephen Colbert: Rick Santorum refuses to put his left hip in during the Hokey-Pokey. #InMyHeart
And then, you can go to Huffington Post to see what others are doing about Truthiness. It's very impressive because it is about people at Harvard and people at MIT, so it is about smart people. Smart is something Stephen knows a lot about! It's also about Truthiness, specifically, Truthiness in Digital Media. There's a "photo" of Stephen although it's not quite as big or handsome or flattering. (I take that back. I concede there is no such thing as an unflattering photo/picture/drawing of Stephen. This one just doesn't have him smiling, that's all I really mean.) Anyway, it is good to see how many other people and organizations share Stephen's quest for the truth.
Stephen Colbert: Rick Santorum refuses to put his left hip in during the Hokey-Pokey. #InMyHeart
Monday, March 19, 2012
PAC
If you watched The Colbert Report last Thursday, you may have heard Stephen tell us that he is off for a week. So, alas, it is repeats this week. The guests are Jonathan Safran Foer, Audra McDonald, Katherine Boo, and Mark McKinnon, so if you did not see those shows, you can watch them this week.
Okay, but what is Stephen doing this week? No one knows for sure, but I do have some ideas of what he might be doing and also some suggestions of what he should be doing. First of all, a suggestion. As you most likely know, he has a Super PAC, specifically the Colbert Super PAC. He has made some TV ads and a few other things with the money, and that's great. But I have a wonderful opportunity that is just a natural for Stephen to be doing this week.
Prescott Pharmaceuticals
Colbert Super PAC
Pacquin's Hand Cream
These three things all go together wonderfully. First of all, Prescott Pharmaceuticals is a company that constantly manufactures and markets all sorts of wonderful health and beauty aids. Colbert Super PAC has lots of money and influence. Pacquin's Hand Cream has a huge-normous-gantic loyal following of consumers who have paid around $5 a jar for Pacquin's Hand Cream but would probably be willing to pay $10 a jar if they could get their dry, cracked hands on this miracle product. (I once found a jar going for $85 on ebay!) Just Google "Pacquin's Hand Cream" and you will see what I mean. People are desperate for this old stand-by. There is nothing that compares to it.
And it is just such a natural fit for the Super PAC. I mean, PAC ... Pacquin's. It's right there in the name!!!!!
Oh, I know what you will say. There are substitutes out there. Yes there are and they absolutely can't hold a candle to Pacquin's Hand Cream. For one thing, there's not many products that are hand creams anymore. Most are hand lotions. The lotions are greasy and they don't really do very much to make hands soft and help with the dryness or cracked skin.
Think of what a substitute is. Basically, you can't get the product you want, so you get something that is not what you want. It's like the nutritionist who tells you that instead of eating potato chips, eat some celery with salt on it. Crispy, salty, so just as good as potato chips, right? Oh, yeah sure, like there's any comparison. So a substitute for Pacquin's Hand Cream is no substitute. Only the real thing will do, the Real McCoy, basically.
So, Stephen, listen up. Use your Super PAC money, and your influence in the world, and get Pacquin's back. I think it is Johnson and Johnson who now hold the patent, but they aren't making the product. All it takes is good marketing and they could make such an enormous profit on Pacquin's Hand Cream. A simple "Go back to a simpler time" could be the message and people would eat it up. Well, not eat it, but use it on their hands.
Maye it's time, at the start of the show, that people yell, Pac-quins, Pac-quins, Pac-quins instead of Ste-phen, Ste-phen, Ste-phen. Help bring back Pacquin's Hand Cream. Thousands of hands across the nation would sing your praises, Stephen.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Christopher Walken Meet Maurice Sendak
I came across this YouTube video of Christopher Walken reading the book, "Where the Wild Things Are" by friend of the show, Maurice Sendak. It's about 9 minutes long and is typical Walken.
You may remember Maurice Sendak was on The Colbert Report back in January of this year. You can read about Sendak on this blog.
Once Upon a Time
and
Give Me Twenty Bucks and I'll Eat a Bug
and
Coincidence - You Decide
Grab a bowl of popcorn and a root beer and sit back, listen, and enjoy the golden tones of Christopher Walken's voice.
You may remember Maurice Sendak was on The Colbert Report back in January of this year. You can read about Sendak on this blog.
Once Upon a Time
and
Give Me Twenty Bucks and I'll Eat a Bug
and
Coincidence - You Decide
Grab a bowl of popcorn and a root beer and sit back, listen, and enjoy the golden tones of Christopher Walken's voice.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I hope everyone is eating green food today. And if it's naturally green, you know broccoli, spinach, etc., that would even be healthy for you. There's a nice Google Doodle today and if you click on it, you can find out all sorts of things about St. Patrick's Day.
If you have no parades to go to and you aren't going out with your friends today, you can at least read a little bit here about Ireland and impress your friends with your knowledge about all things Irish. You could also watch this Irish Dance Group. Watch what they do and follow along. It doesn't look that difficult, does it? Just left foot, right foot, a little bit faster now.
Here's one more YouTube video of a bunch of people singing and dancing and having a really, really fun time: The Chieftains and Friends - Give the Fiddler a Dram.
If you have no parades to go to and you aren't going out with your friends today, you can at least read a little bit here about Ireland and impress your friends with your knowledge about all things Irish. You could also watch this Irish Dance Group. Watch what they do and follow along. It doesn't look that difficult, does it? Just left foot, right foot, a little bit faster now.
Here's one more YouTube video of a bunch of people singing and dancing and having a really, really fun time: The Chieftains and Friends - Give the Fiddler a Dram.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
# In My Heart
Does it ever seem like politics and religion dominate the news? Too bad there wasn't some sort of sports events happening for people to watch. Oh, well, on with the show.
Advertisers are rushing to leave Rush Limbaugh, apparently. Even the U.S. Army. That' right, the army is pulling out of Rush. Stephen suggested that maybe it's time for a Pledge Drive for Rush and even had an example of a gift that sponsors could get. This is all confusing to Limbaugh. How can he be anti-woman? He judged the Miss America Pageant! This seems to him to be all part of a plan, all orchestrated.
Said Stephen, "What's the alternative? That a 30-year old woman had her own thoughts and feelings about her reproductive rights? C'mon, what do you take me for, a girl?"
We got to see a quick video clip of Mitt Romney's core message of hope. "I made a lot of money."
Rick Santorum does not pander. He was in Puerto Rico and said that "Like in every other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law. And that is that English has to be the principal language."
I have seen Santorum's quote worded a bit differently in different sources, but it does seem to be that he thinks it is a federal law that English be the official language of any state. (It isn't. There is no federal law stating that.) Stephen expressed that it takes a lot of, (what did he say ...) a lot of "fortitude" to make such a statement and tell people which language they should be speaking.
Rick Santorum also had ideas about the "dangers of socialized medicine." Here's what he said about the Netherlands.
"In the Netherlands, people wear a different bracelet if you're elderly, and the bracelet is 'do not euthanize me.' Half the people who are euthanized every year, and it's ten percent of all deaths, in the Netherlands, half of those people are euthanized involuntarily at hospitals, because they are older and sick."
Shocking, and turns out, NOT true.
But, the Press secretary explained that, "A lot of these things, it's a matter of what's in his heart." Three times she gives an answer, not the answer to the question, but an answer that definitely shows she can memorize stuff.
Stephen, technical wizard that he is, fired off this tweet:
Rick Santorum has body hair in the exact shape of his sweater vest. #InMyHeart
Finally, a wee bit of the Irish and some fun in anticipation of St. Patrick's Day: Stephen touted his newest Formula 401 in a bright green jar! The perfect product for anyone this weekend. Do you need some food for your party? How about Lucky Charms with some slivers of Irish Spring. Yummy.
Back to more serious matters. The guest tonight was Dexter Filkins, premiere combat journalist of his generation. He new book is "The Forever War." Recently he was in Pakistan and said to Stephen about Pakistan and other countries he has been to, "Things are unbelievably more complicated than what you hear on TV." Stephen suggested that since Filkins works for the New Yorker, he might want to think about something like just doing movie reviews.
Stephen also suggested that people go out and buy "House of Stone" by Anthony Shadid.
Rick Santorum hasn't played basketball since he accidentally chest-bumped a teammate. #InMyHeart
Advertisers are rushing to leave Rush Limbaugh, apparently. Even the U.S. Army. That' right, the army is pulling out of Rush. Stephen suggested that maybe it's time for a Pledge Drive for Rush and even had an example of a gift that sponsors could get. This is all confusing to Limbaugh. How can he be anti-woman? He judged the Miss America Pageant! This seems to him to be all part of a plan, all orchestrated.
Said Stephen, "What's the alternative? That a 30-year old woman had her own thoughts and feelings about her reproductive rights? C'mon, what do you take me for, a girl?"
We got to see a quick video clip of Mitt Romney's core message of hope. "I made a lot of money."
Rick Santorum does not pander. He was in Puerto Rico and said that "Like in every other state, there has to be compliance with this and any other federal law. And that is that English has to be the principal language."
I have seen Santorum's quote worded a bit differently in different sources, but it does seem to be that he thinks it is a federal law that English be the official language of any state. (It isn't. There is no federal law stating that.) Stephen expressed that it takes a lot of, (what did he say ...) a lot of "fortitude" to make such a statement and tell people which language they should be speaking.
Rick Santorum also had ideas about the "dangers of socialized medicine." Here's what he said about the Netherlands.
"In the Netherlands, people wear a different bracelet if you're elderly, and the bracelet is 'do not euthanize me.' Half the people who are euthanized every year, and it's ten percent of all deaths, in the Netherlands, half of those people are euthanized involuntarily at hospitals, because they are older and sick."
Shocking, and turns out, NOT true.
But, the Press secretary explained that, "A lot of these things, it's a matter of what's in his heart." Three times she gives an answer, not the answer to the question, but an answer that definitely shows she can memorize stuff.
Stephen, technical wizard that he is, fired off this tweet:
Rick Santorum has body hair in the exact shape of his sweater vest. #InMyHeart
Finally, a wee bit of the Irish and some fun in anticipation of St. Patrick's Day: Stephen touted his newest Formula 401 in a bright green jar! The perfect product for anyone this weekend. Do you need some food for your party? How about Lucky Charms with some slivers of Irish Spring. Yummy.
Back to more serious matters. The guest tonight was Dexter Filkins, premiere combat journalist of his generation. He new book is "The Forever War." Recently he was in Pakistan and said to Stephen about Pakistan and other countries he has been to, "Things are unbelievably more complicated than what you hear on TV." Stephen suggested that since Filkins works for the New Yorker, he might want to think about something like just doing movie reviews.
Stephen also suggested that people go out and buy "House of Stone" by Anthony Shadid.
Rick Santorum hasn't played basketball since he accidentally chest-bumped a teammate. #InMyHeart
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Kermit the Frog
Stephen started off tonight with just a quick reference to something Rick Santorum seems to be in favor of - making teleprompters illegal.
"See, I always believed that when you run for president of the United States, it should be illegal to read off a teleprompter."
That gets a laugh for him and it also seems to play well with Newt Gingrich supporters when Gingrich tells teleprompter jokes. I wonder if there are more important things to talk about, such as jobs maybe. And what would happen if a candidate used a teleprompter? Would they immediately go to jail without passing Go? And has Santorum really ALWAYS believed that? I remember my English teacher teaching us that we should never use the word "always" when we are writing something and that we should always avoid using the word "never" when writing something. So I'm a little bit skeptical that Santorum has always believed that. And if candidates can't use a teleprompter, will they be stuck using a Hand-o-prompter?
Time will tell with that issue, but in the meantime, more primaries are coming up. Voters in Louisiana are getting ready for the primary on March 24. (Important note - That is a Saturday.) Who is going to take the bayou? What better expert could Stephen get for an opinion on the Bayou State than that man about town, Colbert Report's Chief Swampland Political Analyst, Kermit the Frog. (Wild Applause. )
Stephen asked for Kermit's analysis of the GOP race. Kermit explained that he is just a frog and doesn't know much about politics but according to his schedule, he is here to tell everybody that, "his new movie The Muppets is coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20." (More wild applause.)
Stephen kept pushing Kermit, even showing a video clip of "Mitt Romney" who was a regular on Sesame Street with Kermit. Again Kermit claims that he doesn't talk politics, that he considers himself an amphibitarian. He is not partisan. "Republicans, Democrats, Independents, all will enjoy the newest movie The Muppets coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20."
Again, Stephen pushed Kermit, asking what he thought about Newt. Well, that really got Kermit going. He was upset that just because frogs and newts are amphibians, Kermit would of course know Newt. But finally, Kermit gave a really good analysis and Stephen let him put in a plug for The Muppets coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20. The audience goes wild. Stephen Colbert goes wild, and Kermit the Frog goes wild. Yeaaaaa Yeaaaaa Yeaaaaaa.
I wonder if this is the first time a frog has gotten The Colbert Bump.
Keeping with the animal theme and moving right along, Monkey on the Lam. It's been a while since Stephen talked monkeys or anything remotely similar. Probably because he got talked into a banana Ponzi scheme by a monkey. Stephen gave him bananas, the monkey ate them and Stephen was supposed to make money. It sounded like a sure bet. (Apparently not!)
A gorilla, that's right, a gorilla is supposedly on the loose in Alabama. It's not known how many there are roaming around, but Stephen is concerned they may have voted in the Alabama Primary. This is good justification for Voter ID laws according to Stephen. Or, it might have been a bear. I'm sure we will hear more about all of these topics, gorillas, Voter ID, and bears from Stephen in the future.
Finally, Stephen had a person on tonight. Mark McKinnon was on to talk about No Labels. They have a 12-Step Program, including ideas such as:
1. No Budget, No Pay
2. Up or Down Vote on Presidential Appointments
3. Fix the Filibuster
8. No Pledge but the Oath of Office
and more really good ideas, ideas like, oh, talking to each other.
So go over and look at No Labels and see what you think.
"See, I always believed that when you run for president of the United States, it should be illegal to read off a teleprompter."
That gets a laugh for him and it also seems to play well with Newt Gingrich supporters when Gingrich tells teleprompter jokes. I wonder if there are more important things to talk about, such as jobs maybe. And what would happen if a candidate used a teleprompter? Would they immediately go to jail without passing Go? And has Santorum really ALWAYS believed that? I remember my English teacher teaching us that we should never use the word "always" when we are writing something and that we should always avoid using the word "never" when writing something. So I'm a little bit skeptical that Santorum has always believed that. And if candidates can't use a teleprompter, will they be stuck using a Hand-o-prompter?
Time will tell with that issue, but in the meantime, more primaries are coming up. Voters in Louisiana are getting ready for the primary on March 24. (Important note - That is a Saturday.) Who is going to take the bayou? What better expert could Stephen get for an opinion on the Bayou State than that man about town, Colbert Report's Chief Swampland Political Analyst, Kermit the Frog. (Wild Applause. )
Stephen asked for Kermit's analysis of the GOP race. Kermit explained that he is just a frog and doesn't know much about politics but according to his schedule, he is here to tell everybody that, "his new movie The Muppets is coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20." (More wild applause.)
Stephen kept pushing Kermit, even showing a video clip of "Mitt Romney" who was a regular on Sesame Street with Kermit. Again Kermit claims that he doesn't talk politics, that he considers himself an amphibitarian. He is not partisan. "Republicans, Democrats, Independents, all will enjoy the newest movie The Muppets coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20."
Again, Stephen pushed Kermit, asking what he thought about Newt. Well, that really got Kermit going. He was upset that just because frogs and newts are amphibians, Kermit would of course know Newt. But finally, Kermit gave a really good analysis and Stephen let him put in a plug for The Muppets coming out on Blu-ray and dvd on March 20. The audience goes wild. Stephen Colbert goes wild, and Kermit the Frog goes wild. Yeaaaaa Yeaaaaa Yeaaaaaa.
I wonder if this is the first time a frog has gotten The Colbert Bump.
Keeping with the animal theme and moving right along, Monkey on the Lam. It's been a while since Stephen talked monkeys or anything remotely similar. Probably because he got talked into a banana Ponzi scheme by a monkey. Stephen gave him bananas, the monkey ate them and Stephen was supposed to make money. It sounded like a sure bet. (Apparently not!)
A gorilla, that's right, a gorilla is supposedly on the loose in Alabama. It's not known how many there are roaming around, but Stephen is concerned they may have voted in the Alabama Primary. This is good justification for Voter ID laws according to Stephen. Or, it might have been a bear. I'm sure we will hear more about all of these topics, gorillas, Voter ID, and bears from Stephen in the future.
Finally, Stephen had a person on tonight. Mark McKinnon was on to talk about No Labels. They have a 12-Step Program, including ideas such as:
1. No Budget, No Pay
2. Up or Down Vote on Presidential Appointments
3. Fix the Filibuster
8. No Pledge but the Oath of Office
and more really good ideas, ideas like, oh, talking to each other.
So go over and look at No Labels and see what you think.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
You Can't Drive a Car With a Windmill On It
Stephen started with a music theme, threw in some religion and politics in the middle, and then ended with music. In just a few days, the Annual Pop Conference will be going on in Seattle at the EMP Museum (Experience Music Project). Now before you get too excited, it is a conference, not a concert, so just keep that in mind. That being said however, you would probably think that a musician and scholar such as Stephen would be welcomed with open arms to the Conference. But no. Stephen's work was yet again rejected. His scholarly paper did not make the cut. He had the paper there with him on the show, even read the title. It sounded fascinating and I, for one, only wish there had been time for him to read it on the air. (Note to self. Check iTunes to see if it is there in Spoken Word category.)
Pat Robertson. Stephen is worried about Robertson and his ministry. You may remember Pat from the things he says on his show. Things such as:
"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti. They got together and swore a pact to the devil."
"Islam is not a religion."
"We assume Jewish people are very thrifty."
"What about bestiality?"
"He likes to have sex with ducks."
"That guy was homo."
"Those who are involved in martial arts before they start are actually inhaling some demon spirit."
But lately Pat has been advocating something that, well, let's just say it involves the munchies. And that might include, perhaps, his age-defying protein pancakes. Yes, people could eat those pancakes. Pat eats them, so that's an endorsement right there.
You know there are many reality shows on TV. People that are "Real" and people at the "Shore". A recent one, "All American Muslim" on TLC, won't be back for a second season. Apparently they are too normal. Seems like you need to be "real" instead of "normal" to make it in TV land.
But, enough about religion. Stephen reminded us that bears are always a threat and then he touched on politics a little bit. It's yet again another primary, this time in Mississippi and Alabama, along with Hawaii and American Samoa. All the usual issues come to light such as climate change, drilling, and other energy related stuff. Mitt Romney said that you can't drive a car with a windmill on it. (Duh.) Stephen asked the obvious question, "Because then where would the dog go?" And Newt Gingrich, while fond of Newtland on the Moon also speaks of Cloud Cuckoo Land where algae is used for fuel. "You can't make this stuff up," said Newt.
Apparently, ExxonMobil is actually doing this, to the tune of some $600 million to develop this technology!
And back to music to end the show. Andrew Bird was the guest tonight. He is not "famous", but now needs to be ready to be "super famous" as a result of being on The Colbert Report (you know, the famous Colbert Bump). He sang the song Eyeoneye from his latest album Break It Yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~
By the way, I noticed over at the Wikipedia page about Andrew Bird that he went to Northwestern University. Don't we know someone else that is on the list of Alumni from Northwestern University? Someone with the initials S.C.?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you notice, most of my postings are done late at night when I am so very tired. And so sometimes there will be words that are typed or spelled wrong. Typically I find them when I read them in a more alert state and change them a day or two later. I have made one correction today. It makes the humor much funnier when the words are right. Hopefully my readers are either more alert or if not that, then forgiving when Eye dew make these unintentionel errars.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Morning Y'all
Stephen is really steamed about Daylight Savings Time. That's okay, he's probably just cranky from missing out on some of his beauty sleep. He will get over it. By tomorrow, I don't think he will even be talking about it any more.
Just stepped away for a minute to get some grits from the kitchen and what a surprise. I think Mitt Romney has now endorsed Jeff Foxworthy for the GOP nomination. Wait, no. I'm mistaken, other way around. Sorry. Now I've got it figured out. Jeff Foxworthy is supporting Mitt Romney. It's that old standby of showing voters that you are just like them by having someone who is just like them stand next to you. Here's how Stephen put it: "Now, if you're a multimillionaire entertainer supporting the candidacy of a wealthy financier from Massachusetts, you might no longer be a redneck." (Please, oh please Mitt, don't try to tell redneck jokes.)
Stephen took a few minutes to discuss political strategy (and enjoy some sweet tea) with David "Mudcat" Saunders. Just two guys sitting and discussing different ideas for winning the South. Kind of nice to just relax, sit back and get their thoughts on winning the South for the Republican candidates.
Cheating Death. Prescott Pharmaceuticals. Nasal health. Nosebleeds. Pork. Reproductive Health. Rats. Abstinence Education. Just use your imagination to fill in the details and it will all make sense.
Katherine Boo, Pulitzer Prize winner, was Stephen's guest tonight. She is a staff writer at The New Yorker and editor for The Washington Post. She has written her first book, "Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity." Her other accomplishments are impressive. I have no doubt she will write more books and win more awards. The Undercity refers to slums that are on land right around the airport in Mumbai. There are about 80,000 to 90,000 people living in those slums.
Just stepped away for a minute to get some grits from the kitchen and what a surprise. I think Mitt Romney has now endorsed Jeff Foxworthy for the GOP nomination. Wait, no. I'm mistaken, other way around. Sorry. Now I've got it figured out. Jeff Foxworthy is supporting Mitt Romney. It's that old standby of showing voters that you are just like them by having someone who is just like them stand next to you. Here's how Stephen put it: "Now, if you're a multimillionaire entertainer supporting the candidacy of a wealthy financier from Massachusetts, you might no longer be a redneck." (Please, oh please Mitt, don't try to tell redneck jokes.)
Stephen took a few minutes to discuss political strategy (and enjoy some sweet tea) with David "Mudcat" Saunders. Just two guys sitting and discussing different ideas for winning the South. Kind of nice to just relax, sit back and get their thoughts on winning the South for the Republican candidates.
Cheating Death. Prescott Pharmaceuticals. Nasal health. Nosebleeds. Pork. Reproductive Health. Rats. Abstinence Education. Just use your imagination to fill in the details and it will all make sense.
Katherine Boo, Pulitzer Prize winner, was Stephen's guest tonight. She is a staff writer at The New Yorker and editor for The Washington Post. She has written her first book, "Behind the Beautiful Forevers, Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity." Her other accomplishments are impressive. I have no doubt she will write more books and win more awards. The Undercity refers to slums that are on land right around the airport in Mumbai. There are about 80,000 to 90,000 people living in those slums.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Mountain Dew
Gasoline, Goldfish and Guitar: Sometimes it seems like Stephen packs two hours worth of Report into one night's show! Tonight was one of those nights. So much stuff to talk about.
Eric Bolling has the magic answer, in a manila envelope, to lower gas prices by a dollar. But, it's a secret. He guarantees it will work. "I guarantee it, gasoline prices come down by a dollar." The only catch is that President Obama is supposed to call Bolling. He let everyone know what his phone number is but then told everybody not to call him. Only President Obama was supposed to call that number because I imagine President Obama is sitting around watching TV in the Oval Office and got out a memo pad to write down the phone number. Well, that sounds like such a sweet deal that Stephen has his own manila envelopes with plans.
1. Eliminate the debt.
2. Invade and defeat Iran in three days.
3. Results of some blood tests.
4. Poetry from college.
5. Plan to organize my manila envelopes.
On a technicality, that of Stephen being the president of his Super PAC along with president of other important organizations, Stephen called Bolling. Of course he got an answering machine, so Stephen left a message with his own phone number to call. Perhaps even as you are reading this Stephen Colbert and Eric Bolling are talking. And so ends the Gasoline segment of this post.
Herman Cain has been busy since dropping out of the race for the GOP nomination for President. You remember Cain, don't you? Shucky ducky, I'm sure you do. He has a new plan or company or website, not sure exactly what to call it. (But I will say there's not much at the Store.) His mission: transfer power from the government to the people. Sounds good, but I have some questions. If you transfer power from the government to the people, will those people make the decisions? And then would they not be governing? And then wouldn't they become the government? So then, someone else would have to get a new mission to transfer power from that government to a new set of "people." This is going to take a while. Maybe we should all just vote in November.
But where is the Goldfish you may be wondering. Okay, Herman Cain has an ad, an avant-garde ad, in which some people think Herman Cain committed Goldfish Murder. He claims the Goldfish is fine, but really, how would we know? There could easily be a stand-in Goldfish. So... Stephen made an ad, an avant-garde ad about all the things we forgot we used to be mad at. Head over to Colbert Nation, probably tomorrow sometime, and watch Stephen's ad. I think Stephen is relieved to have made this ad. That takes care of the Goldfish segment.
Next is the Guitar. It was Elvis Costello who brought the guitar. Also as guests were Emmy Lou Harris and Don Fleming. The really neat thing about watching The Colbert Report is that I learn so much stuff. Alan Lomax collected music, folk music, from all over the world. (Interesting note. When I Googled Alan Lomax, I also looked at Images. I saw something I don't remember seeing before in Google Images - most of the photos were black and white.)We are talking tens of thousands of songs. This was before iPods. We got to see an actual tape player, with actual tape, on the show. We got to listen to Jean Ritchie and Bob Dylan on that tape recorder. You can go to this website:
CulturalEquity.org
and listen to lots and lots and lots of the songs as well as interviews plus more. So much to learn about from all over the world for quite a few years back. You will have way more than enough to keep you busy until Stephen's show is on again on Monday. Just a quick note though. I have been having problems some of the time, but not all of the time, connecting. (The connection has timed out.) I think the site is too busy. Everyone who watched The Colbert Report tonight is checking out Cultural Equity.org.
Folk music is the music of the people, just plain folks. One or two people would get together and sing about what they knew best or what they did all day. This could be sailing, working in a coal mine, maybe someone singing a lullaby, or perhaps working on a whaling ship. "Young people love whaling songs," according to Stephen.
Elvis Costello played guitar, and Emmy Lou Harris and Don Fleming rounded out the trio. Plus Stephen, so that made the trio a quartet. They sounded marvelous of course and you can see a bonus song soon over at Colbert Nation. So, there's the Guitar segment. And Mountain Dew? Well, that's the song they sang.
Eric Bolling has the magic answer, in a manila envelope, to lower gas prices by a dollar. But, it's a secret. He guarantees it will work. "I guarantee it, gasoline prices come down by a dollar." The only catch is that President Obama is supposed to call Bolling. He let everyone know what his phone number is but then told everybody not to call him. Only President Obama was supposed to call that number because I imagine President Obama is sitting around watching TV in the Oval Office and got out a memo pad to write down the phone number. Well, that sounds like such a sweet deal that Stephen has his own manila envelopes with plans.
1. Eliminate the debt.
2. Invade and defeat Iran in three days.
3. Results of some blood tests.
4. Poetry from college.
5. Plan to organize my manila envelopes.
On a technicality, that of Stephen being the president of his Super PAC along with president of other important organizations, Stephen called Bolling. Of course he got an answering machine, so Stephen left a message with his own phone number to call. Perhaps even as you are reading this Stephen Colbert and Eric Bolling are talking. And so ends the Gasoline segment of this post.
Herman Cain has been busy since dropping out of the race for the GOP nomination for President. You remember Cain, don't you? Shucky ducky, I'm sure you do. He has a new plan or company or website, not sure exactly what to call it. (But I will say there's not much at the Store.) His mission: transfer power from the government to the people. Sounds good, but I have some questions. If you transfer power from the government to the people, will those people make the decisions? And then would they not be governing? And then wouldn't they become the government? So then, someone else would have to get a new mission to transfer power from that government to a new set of "people." This is going to take a while. Maybe we should all just vote in November.
But where is the Goldfish you may be wondering. Okay, Herman Cain has an ad, an avant-garde ad, in which some people think Herman Cain committed Goldfish Murder. He claims the Goldfish is fine, but really, how would we know? There could easily be a stand-in Goldfish. So... Stephen made an ad, an avant-garde ad about all the things we forgot we used to be mad at. Head over to Colbert Nation, probably tomorrow sometime, and watch Stephen's ad. I think Stephen is relieved to have made this ad. That takes care of the Goldfish segment.
Next is the Guitar. It was Elvis Costello who brought the guitar. Also as guests were Emmy Lou Harris and Don Fleming. The really neat thing about watching The Colbert Report is that I learn so much stuff. Alan Lomax collected music, folk music, from all over the world. (Interesting note. When I Googled Alan Lomax, I also looked at Images. I saw something I don't remember seeing before in Google Images - most of the photos were black and white.)We are talking tens of thousands of songs. This was before iPods. We got to see an actual tape player, with actual tape, on the show. We got to listen to Jean Ritchie and Bob Dylan on that tape recorder. You can go to this website:
CulturalEquity.org
and listen to lots and lots and lots of the songs as well as interviews plus more. So much to learn about from all over the world for quite a few years back. You will have way more than enough to keep you busy until Stephen's show is on again on Monday. Just a quick note though. I have been having problems some of the time, but not all of the time, connecting. (The connection has timed out.) I think the site is too busy. Everyone who watched The Colbert Report tonight is checking out Cultural Equity.org.
Folk music is the music of the people, just plain folks. One or two people would get together and sing about what they knew best or what they did all day. This could be sailing, working in a coal mine, maybe someone singing a lullaby, or perhaps working on a whaling ship. "Young people love whaling songs," according to Stephen.
Elvis Costello played guitar, and Emmy Lou Harris and Don Fleming rounded out the trio. Plus Stephen, so that made the trio a quartet. They sounded marvelous of course and you can see a bonus song soon over at Colbert Nation. So, there's the Guitar segment. And Mountain Dew? Well, that's the song they sang.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Higgs Boson
"The Higgs boson has not been discovered yet, but its mass is 125 billion electron volts."
That's a joke that's making the round in physics circles. And as long as we're on humor, here's the Dilbert joke about the Higgs boson.
To show that he appreciates the subtle aspects of humor, Stephen continued with, "Speaking of not really being there, Mitt Romney." After weeks and weeks of all the political pundits saying Mitt would be the inevitable candidate for the Republicans, we had Super Tuesday and now everyone is saying it's still too close to call. This is very vexing to Stephen. The good news is that if it comes down to a draw and no one knows who to nominate and if they were to consider Sarah Palin, she "wouldn't close that door." One can only wonder what Palin as President would be like.
CNN is also vexed by the thought of an indecisive decision and so they had a virtual brokered convention. If you want to see how that went down, Jon Stewart had a segment on his show tonight about CNN and you can view his show online. (Of course, wait until tomorrow for that episode to be posted.) Stephen, on the other hand, conducted his own virtual convention, which did require a bit of imagination, but it was much better than CNN's convention. After Stephen's virtual convention was complete, the candidate was still, oh no, Mitt Romney!
Who is nine feet tall and has four arms? Willem Dafoe! But only when he' being Tars Tarkas. Willem Dafoe was the guest tonight and as usual, Stephen asked if he was an actor or a movie star. The way to know, according to Stephen, boils down to this: "Do you wait tables for a living?" Dafoe doesn't, therefore that makes him a movie star. The movie, of course, is John Carter.
That's a joke that's making the round in physics circles. And as long as we're on humor, here's the Dilbert joke about the Higgs boson.
To show that he appreciates the subtle aspects of humor, Stephen continued with, "Speaking of not really being there, Mitt Romney." After weeks and weeks of all the political pundits saying Mitt would be the inevitable candidate for the Republicans, we had Super Tuesday and now everyone is saying it's still too close to call. This is very vexing to Stephen. The good news is that if it comes down to a draw and no one knows who to nominate and if they were to consider Sarah Palin, she "wouldn't close that door." One can only wonder what Palin as President would be like.
CNN is also vexed by the thought of an indecisive decision and so they had a virtual brokered convention. If you want to see how that went down, Jon Stewart had a segment on his show tonight about CNN and you can view his show online. (Of course, wait until tomorrow for that episode to be posted.) Stephen, on the other hand, conducted his own virtual convention, which did require a bit of imagination, but it was much better than CNN's convention. After Stephen's virtual convention was complete, the candidate was still, oh no, Mitt Romney!
Who is nine feet tall and has four arms? Willem Dafoe! But only when he' being Tars Tarkas. Willem Dafoe was the guest tonight and as usual, Stephen asked if he was an actor or a movie star. The way to know, according to Stephen, boils down to this: "Do you wait tables for a living?" Dafoe doesn't, therefore that makes him a movie star. The movie, of course, is John Carter.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Okay, Now I'm Hungry
There was a lot of talk about food tonight. First was Stephen's delicacies for a super party for Super Tuesday, highlighted by his Republican Salsa made mostly of mayonnaise with just a touch of Miracle Whip. Margaritas were on hand and were quite well blended, although they did taste a bit salty.
Food was important but let's not forget what Super Tuesday is all about. It's about the blue collar worker. Stephen excited his audience when he transformed into an average Joe blue collar worker complete with a lunchbox and actual blue collar. He was not willing to go out on a limb and predict the outcome of all the Primaries today. I'm sure he will talk about it tomorrow. Vladimir Putin however did quite well over in Russia, even getting 99.82% of the vote in Chechnya which turns out to be a 107% voter turnout. Now that is popularity.
And back to food again. For chocolate lovers, something to cry about. Mars has announced that in order to promote more responsible snacking, they will be scaling back the size on candy bars so that they will contain no more than 250 calories per candy bar. (Stephen's easy solution -- eat three candy bars.) Breakfast lovers have something to celebrate, though. Some folks are suggesting that we eat two breakfasts. Whether that is doctors or diners who suggest it, I'm not sure, but Stephen didn't stop with two breakfasts. He was able to come up with a multitude of meals, as many as eighteen meals each day to satisfy you. Stephen got hungry just talking about all this and I must admit, so did I. Where is that Halloween candy when you need it?
Jonathan Safran Foer was on the show to discuss with Stephen his latest book, "New American Haggadah." It's basically a new user's manual for Passover. Since everyone in the family sitting at the dinner table might have a copy of the Haggadah, Stephen thought this was an excellent choice for the author to write. Hopefully Stephen's new book will also attract a lot of readers.
Food was important but let's not forget what Super Tuesday is all about. It's about the blue collar worker. Stephen excited his audience when he transformed into an average Joe blue collar worker complete with a lunchbox and actual blue collar. He was not willing to go out on a limb and predict the outcome of all the Primaries today. I'm sure he will talk about it tomorrow. Vladimir Putin however did quite well over in Russia, even getting 99.82% of the vote in Chechnya which turns out to be a 107% voter turnout. Now that is popularity.
And back to food again. For chocolate lovers, something to cry about. Mars has announced that in order to promote more responsible snacking, they will be scaling back the size on candy bars so that they will contain no more than 250 calories per candy bar. (Stephen's easy solution -- eat three candy bars.) Breakfast lovers have something to celebrate, though. Some folks are suggesting that we eat two breakfasts. Whether that is doctors or diners who suggest it, I'm not sure, but Stephen didn't stop with two breakfasts. He was able to come up with a multitude of meals, as many as eighteen meals each day to satisfy you. Stephen got hungry just talking about all this and I must admit, so did I. Where is that Halloween candy when you need it?
Jonathan Safran Foer was on the show to discuss with Stephen his latest book, "New American Haggadah." It's basically a new user's manual for Passover. Since everyone in the family sitting at the dinner table might have a copy of the Haggadah, Stephen thought this was an excellent choice for the author to write. Hopefully Stephen's new book will also attract a lot of readers.
Monday, March 5, 2012
I'm Sorry
Super Tuesday is upon us tomorrow, right between Marvelous Monday and Wonderful Wednesday. Stephen will be providing coverage of the event, so I can hardly wait. He pointed out that there are only 23 hours 58 minutes 51 seconds on the Countdown to Loving Mitt clock. Everyone had better get ready!
Stephen talked about contraception tonight, which led right into the big news of the day, that of Rush Limbaugh and his choice of words when describing Sandra Fluke.
I was going to type all the other things Rush said here, but lots of those words don't appear on my keyboard, so you'll just have to go over to Colbert Nation tomorrow and watch online to hear all the different ways Rush could come up with to keep insulting her. It appears Rush has no concept of the how a birth control pill works. He seems to think it is just like Viagra where you take a pill each time you have sex. You can't blame Rush, though. Stephen explained that every time Rush has sex with a woman, he's had to slip her a pill first.
The media has been reporting this story and so the Republican candidates have been asked to repudiate what Rush said.
Rick Santorum: "He's being absurd but that's you know an entertainer can be absurd."
Mitt Romney: "I'll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used..."
Twelve advertisers have pulled their advertising from Rush but Stephen doesn't think Rush should have apologized for the words he used to describe Sandra Fluke. After all, "it takes one to know one." Apparently he (Rush) only apologized to keep his advertisers proving Rush will do anything with his mouth to keep his cash.
The Sports Report made a comeback on tonight's show and we got to see Danica Patrick being referred to as a "b****" by Ross Shimabuku, and a very excited bowler (Pete Weber), and a short bit about the brutality of football when viewed as a way to get tips during games.
But now, on to tonight's guest. Tonight it was a musical guest, Audra McDonald, who is starring as Bess in "The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess." The story takes place in Stephen's hometown of Charleston, South Carolina. As Audra and Stephen discuss this Broadway "great American opera" they both come to realize (because Stephen said it) that the parallels to Stephen's life are amazing.
So, after the break, Audra McDonald sang the song "Summertime" and who do you think joined in halfway through? Yeah, you know who.
Stephen talked about contraception tonight, which led right into the big news of the day, that of Rush Limbaugh and his choice of words when describing Sandra Fluke.
I was going to type all the other things Rush said here, but lots of those words don't appear on my keyboard, so you'll just have to go over to Colbert Nation tomorrow and watch online to hear all the different ways Rush could come up with to keep insulting her. It appears Rush has no concept of the how a birth control pill works. He seems to think it is just like Viagra where you take a pill each time you have sex. You can't blame Rush, though. Stephen explained that every time Rush has sex with a woman, he's had to slip her a pill first.
The media has been reporting this story and so the Republican candidates have been asked to repudiate what Rush said.
Rick Santorum: "He's being absurd but that's you know an entertainer can be absurd."
Mitt Romney: "I'll just say this, which is, it's not the language I would have used..."
Twelve advertisers have pulled their advertising from Rush but Stephen doesn't think Rush should have apologized for the words he used to describe Sandra Fluke. After all, "it takes one to know one." Apparently he (Rush) only apologized to keep his advertisers proving Rush will do anything with his mouth to keep his cash.
The Sports Report made a comeback on tonight's show and we got to see Danica Patrick being referred to as a "b****" by Ross Shimabuku, and a very excited bowler (Pete Weber), and a short bit about the brutality of football when viewed as a way to get tips during games.
But now, on to tonight's guest. Tonight it was a musical guest, Audra McDonald, who is starring as Bess in "The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess." The story takes place in Stephen's hometown of Charleston, South Carolina. As Audra and Stephen discuss this Broadway "great American opera" they both come to realize (because Stephen said it) that the parallels to Stephen's life are amazing.
So, after the break, Audra McDonald sang the song "Summertime" and who do you think joined in halfway through? Yeah, you know who.
Better Know a District
What could be more popular than the "Better Know a District" segment on The Colbert Report? But, due to recent events, I think that could all come to a screeching halt.
Perhaps my word choice is too extreme. Maybe it will just change a bit. You see, we had the census in 2010. One of the many important reasons we conduct a census is to find out how many people live in each state and where in the state they live. Then we find out how many Congressional Representatives each state will have. And then we find out where the district boundaries will be. Right now, states are redrawing congressional districts so as to equalize the number of people in each district. People are finding out that while they used to live in one Representative's district, because of redrawn boundaries, they will be "assigned to" a different district.
Stephen has already "known" many of the districts and has put those districts up on his map. Now he will have to get a new map and maybe re-interview some Representatives he has already had on the show because they represent different districts. And horror of horrors, there may be some districts now that do not have a current Representative living there. By the time elections roll around on November 6, someone will either have to move into that district in order to run for re-election, or someone currently living there who is not a Representative will have to decide to run for Congress from that district.
How will this all play out? I don't know, but this much is for sure. "Better Know a District" will change. Stephen could just adjust the lines on his map and color in the new districts (if he actually had interviewed the Representative who still lives within the new boundaries) and go on from there. Or he could scrap the map and start all over again. I don't know how he could possibly hope to interview all the Congressional Representatives, what with there being 435 members of the House. He better get started soon and maybe do two or three Representatives per week.
Will we end up with a new segment such as "Better Get Briefly Acquainted with a District?" or "Better Start All Over Again in New Districts Getting to Know That District?" Will he stop getting to know the people who are running this country? If he doesn't get to know them, how can we ever hope to know them?
Sooner or later Stephen will have to address this issue. He can't go on much longer with the status quo because the status quo as Bob Dylan so melodically said, is changing. Tell us what you are going to do Stephen. Let my people know.
Perhaps my word choice is too extreme. Maybe it will just change a bit. You see, we had the census in 2010. One of the many important reasons we conduct a census is to find out how many people live in each state and where in the state they live. Then we find out how many Congressional Representatives each state will have. And then we find out where the district boundaries will be. Right now, states are redrawing congressional districts so as to equalize the number of people in each district. People are finding out that while they used to live in one Representative's district, because of redrawn boundaries, they will be "assigned to" a different district.
Stephen has already "known" many of the districts and has put those districts up on his map. Now he will have to get a new map and maybe re-interview some Representatives he has already had on the show because they represent different districts. And horror of horrors, there may be some districts now that do not have a current Representative living there. By the time elections roll around on November 6, someone will either have to move into that district in order to run for re-election, or someone currently living there who is not a Representative will have to decide to run for Congress from that district.
How will this all play out? I don't know, but this much is for sure. "Better Know a District" will change. Stephen could just adjust the lines on his map and color in the new districts (if he actually had interviewed the Representative who still lives within the new boundaries) and go on from there. Or he could scrap the map and start all over again. I don't know how he could possibly hope to interview all the Congressional Representatives, what with there being 435 members of the House. He better get started soon and maybe do two or three Representatives per week.
Will we end up with a new segment such as "Better Get Briefly Acquainted with a District?" or "Better Start All Over Again in New Districts Getting to Know That District?" Will he stop getting to know the people who are running this country? If he doesn't get to know them, how can we ever hope to know them?
Sooner or later Stephen will have to address this issue. He can't go on much longer with the status quo because the status quo as Bob Dylan so melodically said, is changing. Tell us what you are going to do Stephen. Let my people know.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss
My favorite author was born today way back in 1904. (Apologies to Stephen for not being my favorite author.) Today is also "Read Across America" Day, thanks to the National Education Association. So, it's a good day to eat cake and read a book to a young kid.
Go over and read about Dr. Seuss. Really, go read it. At least the part under Later Years about why he wrote "The Cat in the Hat." It a somewhat of a challenge to write a book that was not boring using only a limited number of words.
Other books he wrote used more "words". And I put "words" in quotes because, just like Stephen Colbert, Dr. Seuss would make up words. You have all probably experienced writer's block when writing poetry because you can't think of a word to rhyme with "orange" or "silver". The solution is easy, just make up words, you know, like florange which is what the floor looks like after you spill orange juice on it. Or blilver which is like blilve, only better. For example, Jon Stewart is blilve but Stephen Colbert is blilver!
Where would we be without people like Dr. Seuss and Stephen Colbert?
"Today was good. Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one."
- Dr. Seuss
Go over and read about Dr. Seuss. Really, go read it. At least the part under Later Years about why he wrote "The Cat in the Hat." It a somewhat of a challenge to write a book that was not boring using only a limited number of words.
Other books he wrote used more "words". And I put "words" in quotes because, just like Stephen Colbert, Dr. Seuss would make up words. You have all probably experienced writer's block when writing poetry because you can't think of a word to rhyme with "orange" or "silver". The solution is easy, just make up words, you know, like florange which is what the floor looks like after you spill orange juice on it. Or blilver which is like blilve, only better. For example, Jon Stewart is blilve but Stephen Colbert is blilver!
Where would we be without people like Dr. Seuss and Stephen Colbert?
"Today was good. Today was fun.
Tomorrow is another one."
- Dr. Seuss
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Fraud
Don't get alarmed. I am not calling Stephen Colbert a Fraud.
It was Stephen who was throwing the word Fraud all over the place tonight. It's about voting and voter registration and innocence lost and civics.
Dawn Quarles is a teacher. She teaches in Florida. She teaches politics. All that is good. What is not so good is that she could be fined for $1000 for turning kids into responsible, upstanding, patriotic citizens. What?
She registered her students to vote. Just like she's been doing since 2008. This doesn't seem to be a good idea. All these people in Washington D.C. with a flag pin on their lapel and yet when someone tries to get kids to be upstanding, patriotic citizens, we put up barriers. It's almost as if we don't really want young people to vote.What's wrong with us? Who turned Rock the Vote into Block the Vote?
Okay, time for a little humor. While watching the show tonight, I wondered if Stephen is descended from Babylonia. An ancient tablet (3,500 years old!) from Babylon was recently translated by experts. You know what? Jokes. It has a bunch of jokes on it. I wouldn't call them funny, but Stephen did enjoy them, so perhaps that kind of humor is in his genes.
Claire Danes was the guest tonight. She and Stephen talked about the Showtime hit Homeland. They both enjoyed themselves, but it would have been a much better interview if Stephen would have given her a gift of a green pen.
It was Stephen who was throwing the word Fraud all over the place tonight. It's about voting and voter registration and innocence lost and civics.
Dawn Quarles is a teacher. She teaches in Florida. She teaches politics. All that is good. What is not so good is that she could be fined for $1000 for turning kids into responsible, upstanding, patriotic citizens. What?
She registered her students to vote. Just like she's been doing since 2008. This doesn't seem to be a good idea. All these people in Washington D.C. with a flag pin on their lapel and yet when someone tries to get kids to be upstanding, patriotic citizens, we put up barriers. It's almost as if we don't really want young people to vote.What's wrong with us? Who turned Rock the Vote into Block the Vote?
Okay, time for a little humor. While watching the show tonight, I wondered if Stephen is descended from Babylonia. An ancient tablet (3,500 years old!) from Babylon was recently translated by experts. You know what? Jokes. It has a bunch of jokes on it. I wouldn't call them funny, but Stephen did enjoy them, so perhaps that kind of humor is in his genes.
Claire Danes was the guest tonight. She and Stephen talked about the Showtime hit Homeland. They both enjoyed themselves, but it would have been a much better interview if Stephen would have given her a gift of a green pen.
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