I Joined Colbert PAC

Stephen was so convincing that I just had to go to COLBERTPAC.com and join.

Now I can claim to be one of a group of millions who are
"Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow."

My whole life has changed since joining. I feel older. I know I'm getting smarter. Every time I see Michele Bachmann or Tim Pawlenty or Sarah Palin or Mike Huckabee, I can smile because I know that I am in the PAC that is better than all those PACs put together.

But enough about me. On to the important stuff. Stephen found out last night that you can use PAC money to pay for jet travel. And that you need to comply with rules and fill out forms and things of that nature, but no one has gone to jail for making boo boos about PAC stuff. So, that sounds intriguing.

I mentioned other people who have PACs and I did not know, but huckpac means "out after Iowa" in the Klingon language. Stephen talked about Tim Pawlenty and his thunderous handshake last night. Well, you can do amazing things with audio-visual equipment nowadays. oops. I guess it's called technology now, not AV. You might remember that Stephen has aired the Pawlenty PAC ad and then determined that Pawlenty is running for the Brawny man. You probably haven't seen, but Pawlenty, who is from Minnesota, has all of a sudden developed a deep south accent when he is speaking in states south of Minnesota.

But moving on. I just think someone needs to talk about this Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert BFF situation. (That's Best Friends Forever, if you don't know.) Both of them have talked about being BFFs for 6 months. That's not exactly forever!!!

Regardless of that problem though, go to DonorsChoose.org/Fallon-Colbert-Project anyway and donate. It helps kids, so that's good.

And then hopefully soon we can get past both of them having to say, "I never said that."

I Never Said That

Apparently I can not read Stephen's mind. Hypnotizing didn't seem to work either. I didn't see that coming! I will have to work harder at these skills and try again in the future.

Moving on.

I'm sure you all remember when Stephen told us that Jimmy Fallon will match $26,000 of his own money to benefit Donors Choose.

However, on Jimmy Fallon's show last night, Jimmy said, "I never said that."

And this would be what we call a conundrum. The only possible solution was for Stephen to go on Jimmy's show. And he did. He did not stay long and it wasn't a pretty sight.

After Stephen quickly exited the show, Jimmy admitted the only way to come to a reasonable solution was for everyone to help by sending money by Friday. If enough money comes in, Jimmy promised, Promised!!!, that Stephen will come on the Jimmy Fallon Show and sing Rebecca Black's song - "Friday" - with Roots.

Cut back to Stephen Colbert where he is surprised by this singing engagement and said, "This comes as a surprise to me!" or something very similar.

For two people who are supposedly BFFs for six months, the friendship does not seem that strong. I'm just saying.

What everyone needs to do, according to Jimmy Fallon, is to go to
donorschoose.org/fallon-colbert-project and donate.

Or not as Stephen would say. You can also go to colbertnation for more information.

Can I Read Stephen's Mind?

I'm going to keep trying to guess what Stephen will talk about. Let me rephrase that. I'm going to try to read Stephen's mind.

I've seen a little bit of a story about Rick Santorum and his theory about why Social Security is in big trouble. He blames abortions. Old people will not get money because young people have an abortion. Yes, it does sound convoluted.

His thinking process is that there aren't enough workers to support Social Security payments. I looked at some comments from one article about this. While you often will see a range of comments about stuff on the internet, this story seemed to have only one type of comment.

It's about jobs, stupid.

There are plenty of workers. Plenty of very qualified workers willing to work hard. But they can't find jobs.

That seems to make Mr. Santorum look, well, not even as bright as a small appliance bulb. Every week there are stories about people with engineering degrees and teaching degrees and all sorts of college degrees who cannot find a job anywhere.

And as a matter of fact, considering the job situation, if there were even more people, there would be even more unemployment, more welfare payments, and probably, for desperate people, more bank robbers. So his rationale actually seems to support the need for more abortions or at least for comprehensive birth control.

So, now let's see if Stephen talks about Rick Santorum tonight.

If I continue to be unsuccessful in reading his mind about what he will talk about on the show, my next plan will be to hypnotize him and tell him what to talk about and make him think that it was his idea.

Oh, maybe he's just a slow reader. Maybe tonight he will talk about the Cobra on the Lam and then tomorrow night he will talk about Rick Santorum.

Less than six hours until we will know.

A Proud Tool of Viacom

Earlier today, I had predicted that Stephen Colbert would discuss the escaped Cobra over at the Bronx Zoo on tonight's episode. But he did not. But Jon Stewart did. Therefore, two points for the snake, one point for Jon Stewart, zero points for Stephen Colbert and zero points for me.

Interestingly enough, he did talk about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire.

WGBH American Experience - Triangle Fire

Daily Kos - Triangle: Remembering the Fire

Cornell University - The Triangle Factory Fire ~ 100 Years Later

It's been 100 years since that tragedy. That tragedy just naturally led to Stephen talking about the Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, and Walker's decision to strip teachers and other public union members of their collective bargaining rights.

Scapegoat found!

Tonight's guest was Roger Moore, oops, Stephen meant Michael Moore. Easy mistake, or was it? When Stephen then mentioned James Bond, it made me think that it was an intentional mistake. Michael Moore talked with Stephen about the importance of Unions in building a middle class in this country. Such things as vacation, pension, and the ending of using children as factory workers are just a few of the important concepts we can thank the Unions for.

And when Michael Moore explained that Stephen was a tool of Viacom, Stephen looked right into the camera and corrected him.

"I'm a Proud tool of Viacom!"

Cobra On the Lam

It's been a while since Stephen has had a "Monkey on the Lam" segment on The Colbert Report. I'm hoping tonight he will debut a new segment - "Cobra on the Lam".

Apparently, at the Bronx Zoo in New York, an Egyptian Cobra is, umh, missing. Awkward!

Here's a short bit of information and a photo over at NPR about the snake.

By some accounts, Cleopatra committed suicide by letting an Egyptian Cobra, also known as an asp, (Stephen, insert joke here) bite her. Maybe, maybe not, but you can read about that at Wikipedia.

So, will Stephen talk about this tonight? It sure seems like the kind of story that he thinks his viewers need to know about.

And a word to the wise: Avoid Snake House at Bronx Zoo this week!

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire

Today is the 100th Anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire. I'm sure Stephen would have talked about it if he had been on the air on a Friday.

You should read about it if you don't know what it was. It puts the events in Madison in perspective. There's a reason Unions are important.

WGBH American Experience - Triangle Fire

Daily Kos - Triangle: Remembering the Fire

Cornell University - The Triangle Factory Fire ~ 100 Years Later

It's Happening, It's Happening, It Happened

Stephen's portrait was auctioned off and fetched a whopping $26,000. That's a little bit short of the $5,000,000 he was hoping for, but still that's a pretty good price. And, according to Stephen, friend of the show Jimmy Fallon will match that $26,000 with $26,000 of his own money! And all of that will benefit Donors Choose.

If you did not see last night's show, you can go to Colbert Nation to see the auction. You really should watch the auction. You can also watch the most unique cook I have seen so far, Nathan Myhrvold, and his Modernist Cuisine.

And again Stephen reminds us to text REDCROSS to 90999 or go to Red Cross on the internet to help out Japan after the earthquake and tsunami.

Googly Eyed Clams

Is there anything that Stephen Colbert can't do? The list of his accomplishments and talents would take up too much space here, so I'll just go with his latest.

Artist.

Watch last night's show at Colbert Nation. We see Stephen in a comfortable setting for him - high society art show. Well maybe just a tiny bit awkward.

Don't miss tonight's show. You will get to see what true art is worth and we're talking millions of dollars here.

Tune in for sure.

Yeah Baby I'm Back

Not me of course, but Stephen is back on my TV and I assume on yours as well.

First things first. Japan. You can help my texting
REDCROSS to 90999
- or -
go to American Red Cross to donate.

Lots on the show last night. Stephen mentioned that the last time his guest, Steve Martin, was on the show, Stephen Colbert's portrait was auctioned with DonorsChoose benefiting and providing arts education in public schools. Stephen discussed art with Simone de Pury and you really should go to Colbert Nation and watch that episode. It's good and also you can watch and listen to Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers. Great Bluegrass music, and we all need more of that in our daily lives.

The highlight of the show has got to be the last 5 seconds when Stephen, not Steve, played the first 9 notes of Dueling Banjos on the banjo. Now that is talent. So go watch the whole episode if you did not see it last night.

It's Just a Matter of Time

As you know, Stephen wants an iPad 2. It's been almost a year since he got the first one, so how much longer will he have to wait? And that is my question on my first poll here, well, I'll rephrase it some. But if you want to mull this over and then give your opinion, you can do so on the right hand side in the poll. If you do not know the answer, feel free to skip this poll. I will leave the poll up for a while, so do research, ask your friends, and then put your answer down for all eternity.

Give Stephen an iPad 2

It's repeats this week, but last night was a very important show. In it, Stephen casually mentions that having an iPad 2 would be nice.

It's not as if he begged or demanded or cried or complained. That is not how he conducts himself.

It's just a very simple idea. Stephen wants therefore Stephen should get. And the fact that this was the second time we saw Stephen casually mentioning that having an iPad 2 would be nice just shows that he should get one.

So, give Stephen an iPad 2.

TimMAY, P King, Klu and Reza

Lots of guys on last night, either in news segments or in the interview. First to mention, briefly, is Tim Pawlenty, commonly known as T-Paw, the former governor from Minnesota. Stephen aired a commercial by the former gov which sure looks to be by a guy running for president. Although Timmy (TimMAY!) has been saying for years that he's not running (nudge nudge wink wink), he also has been doing everything short of announcing that he's running that does in fact make it look like he is running for president. Although to be fair, some have also theorized that he is really running for vice president or secretary of state or any number of other jobs in Washington D.C.

(On a side issue, look at the photo here back in 2008. Is his hair gray back then?)

Anyway, the commercial was awesome, until you saw the next clip of the real Tim Pawlenty giving the actual speech. Boring.

Stephen had an awesomer commercial for himself and then announced his awesomest Political Action Committee, ColbertPAC.

Also bits about Representative Peter King, who is concerned about Muslim terrorists but was supportive of the IRA. Rep. P. King is holding hearings which have generated controversy.

Another quick mention was of Rep. Dan Lungren with just a short mention he had about investigating Ku Klux Klan and various other groups. My question, and a small question admittedly, is wouldn't you think someone who was investigating that group would be able to pronounce the name correctly? He calls them the Klu (think "clue") Klux Klan, instead of the Ku (think "coo") Klux Klan. Just two simple letters - Ku - not so hard to pronounce correctly.

But then Stephen got to a real live person for the interview, Dr. Reza Aslan. He and Stephen talked about the hearings that P. King is holding. I think many people agree that we should find out what is going on with extremist groups, but focusing on only one group doesn't make sense. Dr. Reza Aslan told Stephen that since 2001, there have been more violent extremist plots against the United States by non-Muslims than by Muslims. And then Stephen took that opportunity to get defensive when Dr. Aslan mentioned Catholics.

Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. Have you forgotten that you gave up Catholicism for Lent?

But it's okay, he's fine. Stephen Colbert had one, two, three good moments at the end of his show.

Well, Recuuuuuuse Me!

Today Stephen announced that for Lent he is giving up Catholicism. He then immediately became Jewish and gave up not eating bacon. Joining him for a short chat was Anthony Weiner, Congressman from New York's 9th District, representing Brooklyn and Queens. I think it would be very interesting to have the chance to sit down and talk with Anthony Weiner. He seems like a really interesting guy. There was even a hint that he (Weiner, not Colbert) might run for Mayor of New York. But tonight Anthony Weiner was talking about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. There even was a website that flashed on the screen, conflictedclarencethomas.com. That pretty much explains what Anthony and Stephen were discussing, so you can read it there if you are curious.

And then the real guest was David Brooks who brought his book "The Social Animal" along with him. I admit, I was multitasking while the interview was going on and so I didn't pay as much attention as I should, but what I got out of it is that Americans aren't so good at math. Brooks had these statistics, from surveys, polls, etc. In the first one, 96% of professors in this country think they're above average in teaching skills and 19% of Americans think they are in the top 1% of earners. Hopefully you all realize that those numbers just don't add up, not that they should add up, but I'm just saying.

It's been a while since I've put a photo up to look at and I don't have a photo of Anthony Weiner, Clarence Thomas or David Brooks, so some pretty scenery will have to do. I hope you enjoy looking at it. It sure is majestic, isn't it?

Note: Title should be Well, Recuse Me! I guess the "u" key on my keyboard got stuck. Apologies to Steve Martin.

Let My People Glow

I hope that tonight's post can shed a little light on an important topic. That of course is light bulbs. Quite a bit of the show tonight was about light bulbs. While Stephen did mention Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota and her famous or infamous crusade to save the humble lightbulb with her Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act, it was actually another woman, Dale Bryk, that he talked to on the show. She is director of Natural Resources Defense Council's Air and Energy Program.

It was illuminating to hear her discuss incandescent and compact fluorescent light bulbs and the impact they will have on life as we know it. The new bulbs, CFLs, will save lots of energy and thus lots of money, so that is a good thing. A really good thing.

Regardless of the money saved, Michele Bachmann still doesn't like them. You could find out more information about her and the light bulbs by using Google. I imagine since she basically wants to dump the new fangled light bulbs, you could Google "dump" + "bachmann" and that should bring you to the information you need.

Dan Sinker was the guest tonight, but I'm not convinced that it was the real Dan Sinker, so I won't be mentioning anything more about him.

(By the way, last night's show was good I think, but I can't remember who the guest was no matter how I try, so I guess there will be no post about that show.)

In closing, the most important thing we have all learned tonight is that Stephen is still waiting for his free iPad 2. I can't believe he had to mention it again tonight. Somebody better get going and get that new iPad 2 to Stephen.

Capital Letter Equity

I want to say something about the show on Thursday and yet I have some qualms. Jimmy Fallon showed up, as did Jon Stewart. Jimmy Fallon now has a Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream named after him. So, hurray for Jimmy. But, well, will this mean that people will cross over to the Fallon side and thus leave Stephen behind?

I sincerely hope not. Best thing would be for people to continue to eat the Stephen Colbert Americone Dream (Vanilla Ice Cream with Fudge Covered Waffle Cone Pieces & a Caramel Swirl) as much as always and then have the Jimmy Fallon Late Night Snack (Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters) as a dessert after eating the Americone Dream Ice Cream.

I tossed and turned all weekend wondering whether or not to even mention Jimmy Fallon. But I am also a fan of Jimmy, so how could it possibly be wrong?

Okay, I'll tell you how it could be wrong. If you go to Ben & Jerry's website, you will find that a cow supposedly loves both flavors. You can even click on the cow's pink conversation bubble to watch Stephen, Jimmy and Bessy on The Colbert Report. That's fine.

But.

Click on the Flavors, and then click on Our Flavors and breeze through the seven pages of flavors. On page 2 you will find Late Night Snack (2nd row, container 3). Click on it and read the description. And then on page 3 you can find Americone Dream (2nd row, first container). Click and read about that. Now go to page 5 (bottom row, first container). There's Late Night Snack again. Click and read about that flavor again. Then go to page 6 (first row, 3rd container) to read about Americone Dream. Click and read.

Okay, that's a lot of clicking and reading. But here's my beef. Jimmy Fallon's flavors are on pages 2 and 5. Stephen Colbert's flavors are on pages 3 and 6. Why are Jimmy's flavors featured before Stephen's flavors? And here's the real kicker. On page 6, the description of Americone Dream has only one Capital Letter at the Beginning of the Sentence! That's just not fair. Both of the descriptions about Jimmy's ice creams have capital letters all over the place. Why does Stephen have only one description that is bathed in capital letters?

I know this is a lot to digest, but it just hurts so much.

Please Ben and Jerry, fix the description so that there is Capital Letter Equity for Stephen Colbert.

Note: I just updated this post with the website link for Ben and Jerry. Sorry I waited until March 10 to do so.

Is Your Refrigerator Running?

Before we discuss whether or not your refrigerator is running (and whether you need to stop it), a little bit about Papa Bear i.e. Bill O'Reilly.

Bill O'Reilly recently had footage on his program on FOX about the protesters in Madison, Wisconsin. Mike Tobin was reporting that supposedly they were getting out of hand. Both were hinting at the possibility of protesters being bussed in. (Now I'm not talking about Governor Walker planting troublemakers, he merely was thinking about that plan.) Bill O'Reilly ran the footage while Mike Tobin talked.

Interestingly enough, there in Madison, Wisconsin, in the cold winter, were palm trees lining the streets of Madison. I hope all of you realize that Wisconsin shares a border with Canada, so as far as palm trees growing in Wisconsin? Nah, I don't think so.

But Stephen explained it this way. O'Reilly got the film footage mixed up with something else. As he put it, "Video comes in. Video goes out. Never a miscommunication." But the real reason there were palm trees in Madison? The palm trees were being bussed in to Madison.

That brings us to the title of this post. If you've been paying attention, Governor Walker of Wisconsin is trying to bust Unions in Wisconsin. His reason for doing so is that he says it is necessary for financial reasons. However, he was recently pranked with a fake phone call where he explained that he wants to eliminate Unions.

Stephen had a short clip of Lawrence O'Donnell on his show "The Last Word" stating that "Republican legislators in Wisconsin authored a bill that would prohibit prank calls." That would mean kids could no longer call a random phone number, ask if the refrigerator was running, and then tell the person they had better go catch it.

It is Senator Mary Lazich and Representative Mark Honadel that are pushing the bill. Stephen says they have strong support from Ben Dover, Seymour Bush and Adolph Oliver Bush.