One Man Show

For all the drama leading up to the primaries in Michigan and Arizona, there was nothing all that remarkable that happened. Mitt Romney won both, including winning his home state of Michigan by 3.2%. Or, as Romney said, "We won by enough."

So where that seems to be heading is that eventually, everyone will get behind Mitt Romney for the nominee at the GOP Convention. Or, as Stephen put it, "One week from now we will most likely come together and support the guy we're hoping is not the guy."

So that you don't think Stephen is leaving Rick Santorum behind, he did show Santorum talking, again, about birth control. "What I was talking about is the increasing number of children being born out of wedlock in American." Stephen agreed and offered this comment, "Contraception leads to more babies born out of wedlock." It would have been interesting to have heard all the comments from Santorum about that subject, but there were more important things to get to .

For example, the economy, and tonight's Word. Change We Can Believe In. Stephen had an excellent economic discussion in this segment. If I read him right, we need for the rich to become even richer, because they will then give tips to the poor. There's even a law being considered in Florida that would allow employers to pay tipped workers .... a lower minimum wage, changing it from $4.65 per hour down to $2.13 per hour. Stephen showed a photo of a typical Floridian couple and reminded us of the wonderful reputation that the people like those in the photo have of being big tippers. It's even a good idea to tip plumbers and Stephen had a photo of a plumber. I see his point! All in all, Stephen's economic plan made a lot of cents.

I'm kind of tired tonight, so I'm going to try to make this short, or at least shorter. Instead of telling you that Stephen had the segment "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger" on, I'm just going to call it Tip/Wag in order to save time. One of the things he talked about in this segment is Babyccinos. That's a new "trend" of letting tots drink decaf coffee. We were reminded by Stephen of just how hard it is to get babies up in the morning. Parents out there, you know what he's talking about!

But on the to main event.

William Shatner was the guest tonight. After a brief session of Stephen and William praising each other, they got right down to business. Stephen read quite a lengthy list of accomplishments for William Shatner. You can get an idea of these accomplishment at IMDb. Really, go look, he has had quite a career!

Quite a lot of the interview was just simple conversation, talking back and forth between two talented men.

"Can I call you Bill?"

"No."

"Bill, when people go to see this..." Stephen was talking about William Shatner's One Man Show on Broadway. Shatner's World.

"When people go to see this ..."

"They will learn about love, life, horses, my career, interview shows that work and some that don't." Stephen talked about Star Trek and Captain Kirk, but not much more than mentioning them.

Tonight's arm wrestling segment only lasted about one second, alas. That's how long it took William Shatner to beat and humiliate Stephen.

All in all, it was a very delightful interview.

"Bill, it's been such a pleasure to meet you."

"I wish I could say the same."

Leap

It's February 29, 2012 and you know what that means. Leap Year and Leap Day! I hope you have been leaping instead of walking today. I'm sure if you tell little kids it's Leap Day and suggest that they leap, there's probably 10% of the kids that will take you up on that suggestion and leap around the house all day long.

I did not want to let this day go buy without acknowledging the importance of it, but what should I write about? I didn't want to do the usual explanation of why we have leap year every four years (because our years are actually 365.25 days long) but I didn't want to highlight something really, really obscure.

Luckily, I found it over at bing.com today. Regular readers will know that I usually look at bing each day to see what the photo is. Today there is a frog. And then I realized what I needed to write about! The frog is LEAPING!!!!! Even better than that, if you move your mouse around and then click on the square on the left side, on the one that says, "The approach: Flawless. The takeoff: Superb. The landing: A bit sticky." you can watch a 2-minute YouTube video, complete with dramatic music and awesome close-up photography. If you are a bit squeamish, I will tell you that the frog does just fine.

By the way, if you do take a look at bing.com, you might want to look at the previous day's photo of a really "cool" ice sculpture.

1000 Shows, 100 Years

Tonight Stephen announced that it was the 1000th show for The Colbert Report! That translates into 500 hours of watching Stephen on TV. We are all smarter because of his dedication.

It should come as no surprise that politics was again on the menu. Stephen wondered why President Obama doesn't do something about rising gasoline prices. To help him wonder, John Kilduff, Founding Partner of Again Capital, came on the show to explain stuff. For one thing, the world market sets the price based on how much is produced and how much is used. Every year in spring the price of gas goes up - that is the way it is and should surprise no one. We still import 2/3 of our gasoline and new sources here will still take years to develop. And yes, alternative fuels is absolutely something we should be looking into.

Girl Scouts celebrate 100 years! Would you like a Girl Scout Cookie? You might want to know something first. According to Bob Morris, (Republican Representative in Indiana), Girl Scouts are bad. They are a "radicalized organization that promotes abortion and homosexuality." How does he know this? Well, it was on the internet.

"I did a small amount of web-based research and what I found is disturbing."
..... Bob Morris on February 18, 2012

I suspect he didn't really do a lot of serious research. He should have looked here, at Girl Scouts of the USA: Official Web Site. I did (research) and found that some of the partners that have helped Girl Scouts include:

Alcoa Foundation
AT&T
The Coca-Cola Company
Dove
The Goizueta Foundation
Hereford N. Elliot Trust
Jessie Ball duPont Fund
Kappa Delta Sorority
Lockheed Martin
MetLife Foudation
Motorola Solutions Foundation
New York Life Foundation
Rockefeller Philanthropy Advisors
Trane USA

And then there are these Affiliates:

Alpine Training Services
American Heart Association's Go Red For Women
CARE
Costa Rica Rainforest Outward Bound School
Earth Hour
EF Tours
Global Explorers
Holbrook
Hostelling International
Independent Television Service
Kappa Delta Sorority
National Association of Elementary School Principals
National Council for International Visitors
National School Boards Association
National Urban League
Outward Bound Wilderness
Peace Corps
Plastic Pollution Coalition
United Nations
U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
U.S. Fund for UNICEF
U.S. Green Building Council
U.S. Space & Rocket Center
World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts

Either he knows something they don't know
or
they know something he doesn't know.

But, on to Economics and tonight's guest. Ross Eisenbrey was on the show and he talked about interns. Stephen knows a lot about interns, and we often get to see Jay the Intern helping out on the show. I did not realize this, but Jay the Intern has been on the show for 6 1/2 years.

Ross Eisenbrey and Stephen both seem to agree that internships are good. However, Ross is more in favor of paid internships and paying everyone who works, while Stephen thinks paying is not actually that important. "What is With the law and Paying People?"

Finally, for the happy part of the show - Stephen has done 1000 shows. He gets a ticket each time he does a show and now he has enough to cash in for a prize. That was his goal all along, to amass 1000 tickets. With his goal met, is there really any need for the show to go on??????

Tune in tomorrow when the guest will be William Shatner, (or not, if Stephen decides 1000 shows are enough).

National Pancake Day

It's in the news. It's on TV. It's what everyone has been waiting for. That's right. February 28, 2012 is National Pancake Day.

How will you celebrate? Obviously, by eating pancakes, of course. But will you be dressing up as a pancake? Will you be writing and sending an editorial to your local newspaper? Will you be asking the candidates what their views on pancakes are? Will their answers influence your vote? Ah, so many questions to ponder when all we really want to do is head over to IHOP and indulge. Did you know they have free pancakes today? Would you believe their website is slow today?

I'm doing my part. I wrote this limerick in honor of that world-wide favorite food pancake and the internationally famous IHOP restaurant. (Disclaimer: I have actually never eaten at an IHOP. I just never seem to be in any cities where IHOP is located. It's on my bucket list.)

There once was a man strong and able
At IHOP with his wife named Mabel.
From flapjack to pancakes,
With coffee or milkshakes,
Good food they could eat at their table.

King Peggy

We got the real scoop on what was important at the Academy Awards, plus Stephen went all Dr. Seuss on us in matters Loraxian.

But as is usually the case, politics happened. Mitt Romney gave a speech last Friday to 1,200 people and 65,000 empty chairs in anticipation of the Michigan Primary tomorrow. He also talked on Saturday about his close ties to NASCAR when asked if he's a fan.

"Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans. But I have some great friends that are NASCAR team owners."

Rick Santorum, on the other hand, has turned his attention to the lofty goal of higher education in that he is apparently very unhappy that the President (what a snob) supports students going on to some sort of career training or college after high school.

We got to see just what Santorum was talking about with the liberal elite educated folks when Hank the HVAC guy was at the studio fixing Stephen's furnace.

But enough about the men, how about the women? Stephen had a most interesting guest on tonight, King Peggy. She, yes she, is an American secretary and King of Otuam, a fishing village in Ghana with a population of about 7,000 people. It's not every day that Stephen has someone like that on the show. In fact, he seldom has secretaries and he seldom has Kings on the show.

Anyway, she also has a book out now: King Peggy - An American Secretary, Her Royal Destiny and the Inspiring Story of How She Changed an African Village.

She explained that the King is the boss and there is also a Queen who has other duties. So it's not necessarily the guy gets to be King and the wife automatically by default becomes Queen. She said that the town was a mess when she got there, but she has been making improvements, such as getting clean water for the village. Stephen and King Peggy also discussed the electoral procedure over in Otuam and Stephen seemed to be wondering if it was an improvement over how we do things. It would be a faster and cheaper way to pick our next leader.

Hot Tub Time Machine

Last night was yet another GOP candidate debate and it's always hard for the participants to come up with answers that resonate with everyone. Mitt Romney found a way to do it his way, and Stephen was able to demonstrate how it's done. Example: Answer - Lincoln. Question - What is the capital of Nebraska?

There has been coverage lately of Proxy Baptizing of Jews by the Mormon Church. This was supposed to have stopped some time ago, but it is apparently still going on. It is disturbing to many Jewish people to have someone of a different faith do this to their deceased loved ones. Stephen fixed it. With the help of Jay the Intern, he used the resources available to him and came up with a solution that should be agreeable to all parties involved.

We all know that TV shows have sponsors. We have to watch the ads in return for getting to watch the show. Tonight, Stephen did one of his Sponsortunities. This time it was Wheat Thins. I feel sorry for Wheat Thins. Stephen was supposed to highlight Wheat Thins, or at least I would assume that is what Wheat Thins was paying for. But instead of making Wheat Thins look good, or tasty, or nutritious, or even fun to eat, it almost seemed as if Stephen was making fun of Wheat Thins. He kept reading sentences from a Wheat Thins memo. He had various other foods on some Wheat Thins. He even had the perfect number of Wheat Thins in a bowl - 16 Wheat Thins. But then he started going rogue. He put all 16 Wheat Thins in his mouth. And then, against what the Wheat Thins company would have wanted, he went for the 17th Wheat Thin. He was forced to, well, I won't say it. But what should have been publicity for Wheat Thins and a way to get the Wheat Thins name out there, ended up backfiring for Wheat Thins.

Switching from a treat for our tongues to a treat for our ears, Stephen had as his guest Placido Domingo. All you have to do is go to the website for Placido Domingo and you can hear him singing. I think people either love or hate opera, and perhaps you are one of the people that doesn't have a great love of opera. But you can't help but be impressed with his voice. Here's a short YouTube of Placido Domingo singing Nessun Dorma. Just listen for about a minute and you will probably recognize the melody if you are not familiar with the name. Here also is one version that has just a bit of humor to it by the Three Tenors. You might also remember Paul Potts singing Nessun Dorma.

Tonight had something for everyone, from politics and religion to snack crackers and opera. If that isn't enough to make you go watch over at Colbert Nation (if you didn't catch it tonight), could I interest you if you knew that Stephen sang a little bit of opera with Placido Domingo?

You Got Bumped

Stephen recently had author Ann Patchett on the show and told her she would get the famous The Colbert Bump just by being on the show. She was the guest on Monday to talk about her bookstore, Parnassus Books and her latest book, "State of Wonder."

And now, according to the Tennessean.com, she did in fact get bumped!

Stephen can see into the future!

They Now Know You Know They Know

It is the beginning of Lent and Stephen appropriately has given up something for Lent. Unfortunately it looks like he will be tempted often.

Tonight's Word was Surrender to a Buyer Power. Retailers know a lot about us - their customers. They know more that you perhaps realize. A story in the New York Times had this to say recently, "Target knows your age, whether you are married and have kids, which part of town you live in, how long it takes you to drive to the store, your estimated salary, whether you've moved recently, what credit cards you carry in your wallet and what Web sites you visit."

Stephen commented that if you are watching The Colbert Report on the Web now, then "they now know you know they know!"

It's been a while since Stephen has done his "Better Know a District" series. Tonight we were lucky and yes it did happen to be Nancy Pelosi's district. Stephen had a short video clip of Nancy Pelosi telling him she wouldn't come on his show and then Voila! she's on his show tonight! What a treat.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that Nancy Pelosi and Stephen talked abut the D.I.S.C.L.O.S.E. Act. Nancy Pelosi thinks it is important to disclose where the money is coming from and then to pass an amendment to overturn Citizens United.

The two of them also discussed women's reproductive health. While Nancy does think five guys are qualified to make hamburgers, she doesn't think five guys should be deciding health care options for women.

After Stephen asked her why women are so obsessed with controlling their own bodies, he went on to make a deal with her. If he throws his weight behind the D.I.S.C.L.O.S.E. Act, if he supports it, will she be willing to encourage the Democratic members of the House of Representatives to do Stephen's "Better Know a District" series?

Hurray! She said, "It's a deal," and shook on it with Nancy Pelosi. This could get very interesting, and fun.

Surprisingly, the two of them did not discuss Kittens.

Awkward

Tonight may turn out to be an awkward The Colbert Report. Nancy Pelosi is the scheduled guest. Lately, she has been trying to Stop Colbert. Most likely, this will be a topic of discussion for Pelosi and Colbert. Also likely to be discussed are Kittens. I think we saw proof last night that Stephen likes Kittens, so that's another controversial topic that probably will come up. Possibly, if there is time, they might discuss D.I.S.C.L.O.S.E Act. No guarantee that they will, but it is something that is of interest to many people.

I just hope at the end of the show Stephen doesn't tell the audience members to look under their chairs:

"You get a free kitten. You get a free kitten. Everybody gets a free kitten!"

Zappy Meal With a Side of Fry

If it' Tuesday it must be Mardi Gras. Stephen mentioned this in passing and then got right to the show. Ever since Stephen started his Super PAC with the goal of raising massive amounts of money, everyone else wants to get in on the act. In fact, more than 320 Super PACs have registered with the FEC. Obviously Stephen Colbert is a trend setter. But there is a problem. Nancy Pelosi has a commercial on TV showing her dislike of Stephen's SuperPAC and her support for the D.I.S.C.L.O.S.E. Act. That's "Disclosure of Information on Spending on Campaigns Leads to Open and Secure Elections" Act of 2012. You may remember I mentioned this in a previous post - Stop Colbert. This Act would force SuperPACS to reveal their top five donors. She even accuses Stephen of not liking kittens. Well, "Whiskers" and "Other Whiskers" (oooh, they're so cute) were on to prove that Stephen does indeed like Kittens. So there!

In tonight's Current Events segment, Stephen talked about UTB, Ultimate Taser Ball. It's just a whole lot of fun. I don't know that from personal experience, but from the videos that Stephen had on about this sport, I could tell without even playing it that it must be tons of fun. You run around on a field and try to score with a very large ball and also get to Taser players on the other team. Isn't that just the best thing you've heard of for getting exercise and having fun with your friends? Of course, they can also zap you back, so there is a downside.

Stephen had Robert Kagan on tonight. You may know Robert Kagan from the Brookings Institution or from his latest book, "The World America Made." There are a lot more democracies now and that is a good thing for the world. I'm somewhat surprised that Stephen did not call Kagan a "smarty pants" because I think he probably qualifies as being one. Over at Wikipedia it says Kagan has been listed as one of the world's "Top 100 Public Intellectuals." Stephen did get Kagan to say this on the show, "I think that when the president does the right thing it doesn't matter what party you're in, you should be willing to support him."

I wonder if Stephen asked him to contribute to the Colbert Super PAC.

Bonus Trivia: Taser (read about it at Wikipedia) was invented by Jack Cover and was named after his childhood hero Tom Swift (Thomas A. Swift's electric rifle).

Tough As Nails

Stephen is back and he looks marvelous. He quickly quelled all rumors about being gone for a few days. The Colbert Report was not cancelled because he would soon announce his candidacy, it was not cancelled because he offended the Catholic Church, and he was not in rehab, and he did not have a nose job. But he does look marvelous, there's no denying that. He did say, however, that evidently having eleven children makes you tough as nails (confidential to a lovely lady).

On to politics. Mitt Romney trails Rick Santorum. And this with the Michigan Primary coming up soon. Perhaps Mitt should not have said we should let Detroit go bankrupt. ( Awkward.) In order to bump up his image, Mitt is bringing out The Donald, and if Trump is going to be Romney's surrogate, Stephen is ready and willing to be Trump's surrogate, complete with a tint job so that he looks like Trump. If you think Stephen is not able to be a surrogate of Romney's surrogate, you are wrong. He did a very convincing Trump impression.

Yes, Mitt is trailing in the polls, even though he was born in Michigan, and likes that the trees are not too tall and not too short but just the right height, and likes the lakes big and small and loves cars.

So, what does Stephen have to say about Rick Santorum? "I would say that he's come from behind, but Santorum is morally opposed to coming from behind."

To spice things up a bit, Stephen played some clips of Santorum talking about, oh, the president, and jobs, and the United States, and, well, here's what he said recently:

"This president, systematically, is doing everything he can to raise the price of energy in this country. He's shutting down all sorts of opportunities for us to drill for oil. This is what the president's agenda is. It's not about you. It's not about you. It's not about your quality of life. It's not about your jobs. It's about some phony ideal, some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible, a different theology."

And this a while back:

"This is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war at all. This is a spiritual war and the father of lies has his sights on what you would think the father of lies, Satan, would have his sights on: A good, decent, powerful influential country - The United States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age? There is no one else to go after other than the United States."
Rick Santorum August 29, 2008.

Stephen explained, as only Stephen can, the whole reasoning behind this in quite colorful terms and pictures. He also mentioned that other countries have, in fact, had such things as earthquakes, war, famine, etc. which do seem to be bad things. Go over to Colbert Nation and listen to Romney talk about trees and Santorum talk about theology.

But enough of politics. Stephen's guest tonight is an author and bookstore owner. Ann Patchett's most recent book is "State of Wonder." Her bookstore, Parnassus Books, is located in Nashville, Tennessee. Stephen compared Ann to Meg Ryan in the movie, "You've Got Mail" and talked about small independent bookstores getting gobbled up by large, corporate bookstores. Patchett says that people are coming back to the independent bookstores. They like the story hour for the kids. They like that the staff can actually recommend books that are tailored to what each customer wants.

And then, almost like dessert at the end of a meal, Stephen told her that she was getting the famous "Colbert Bump" just by being on the show tonight. He looked at the audience (live and in TV land) and said he wanted her book "State of Wonder" to register on Amazon tomorrow. Whoa... she wants it to register at ParnassusBooks.net where you can get it signed!

She had this interesting choice for Stephen when his next book comes out. He can come to Nashville, see his friends Jack White and Al Gore, have a party, drink a cocktail. The Goat Rodeo guys can come over and play some music. Then, the next day, Stephen can go over to Amazon with a Sharpie pen, cut open a carton of books, and sign them. Then he can see which of those he liked better.

He thanked her for coming on the show.

**Note: Unfortunately, trees in photo are not the right size, they are too tall. Apologies to Mitt Romney.

New Colbertland

Results are in. I conducted a very scientific poll and I can think of no reason why it does not reflect the will of the people in this matter. People voted for New Colbertland in record numbers. A whopping 50% voted for New Colbertland. That is more than three times as many as voted for the next most popular name. (Some names got absolutely no votes!!!)

Here are the results:

50% for New Colbertland.

15% for Santorumfornia.

10% for Lunarchusetts.

10% for Hermantown.

10% for West Paulina.

5% for Newtizona.

And for the names that got absolutely no votes:

0% for Bachmannouri.

0% for Huntsmanville.

0% for Mittigan.

0% for Perryland.

0% for South Buddyton.

0% for Thaddeusota.

0% for Tpawbama.

Therefore, New Colbertland it is. Next is to build a base on the moon. Then establish cities and name them. We'll need a state flag so artists and historians should start working on ideas for that. We will need a state bird and I think the Loon would be an excellent choice. It could be called the Moon Loon. Cheese would be a great idea for the State food. More will be needed but at least with a name for the 51st state, we have made a good start. Thank you to all the people who voted in the Poll. You have made a difference.

Unforeseen Circumstances

Last night was a repeat episode for The Colbert Report and tonight will be a repeat due to unforeseen circumstances. People familiar with the show, according to New York Post, say the temporary suspension is because of a family emergency.

Our support and prayers are with Stephen and his family.

Update over at Huffington Post.

History is History

History, indeed. How fitting since The Colbert Report is a rerun tonight. It's the show from January 31. You can read what I wrote about it here: Björk was the guest for that episode. I hope you did still watch tonight, it was a fun show. Stephen had good information and Björk was interesting.

If you don't remember, briefly here's what happened. We got to hear Mitt Romney sing America the Beautiful. (He does that a lot, along with telling everybody every time he speaks that he loves this country.) We learned that the Tennessee Tea Party wants history to be re-written so that it is nicer. Björk talked with Stephen and then sang.

If nothing else, go over to Björk's website and play around with that. It's neat, cool, fun, animated.

Lots of buzz on the internet about tonight being rerun. And lots of people concerned about Stephen and hoping all is well.

The Trojan Pint

As you may remember, Stephen sent a Valentine's card to Jimmy. "I miss us," is what he told Jimmy. They were Best Friends Forever for six months, but now they are Eternal Enemies for six months, up until March 3. But having this feud over ice cream is just wrong. You can find a link at Colbert Nation or just go here to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon to see what happens when Jimmy reads the Valentine he received from Stephen.

Also, it looks like repeats for tonight. Earlier in the week, it seemed like it would be new guests for the rest of the week, but I'm not sure. Is it possible that Stephen got sick, that he caught some sort of Valentine's Flu? Either that or perhaps he is solving some world crisis somewhere.

Stay tuned!

That Tastes Like Freedom

Oh, where to begin? I suppose with dogs is the best place. Stephen talked about the Westminster Kennel Club Show. For many years, Pedigree had been a sponsor but this year, the Club went with a different sponsor because they didn't like so much emphasis on shelter dogs. (If you click on Pedigree, you can see a cute dog and then some dogs with really nice smiles. If you click on different sponsor, you can read about the background on the switch in sponsors.)

And right after that, Stephen headed into another controversy, one that involved religion, politics and family planning. Perhaps you've heard a bit about this in the news recently. People want insurance coverage for birth control but some would say that goes against their religion. It's not right for government to be meddling in religion. (However, giving $2.9 billion dollars to the religion for charity is okie dokie.) I think the Catholic bishops don't want to take the Pill. I agree, they shouldn't be on the Pill. But most women have used contraception for family planning. This naturally led to Stephen giving a thorough explanation of concepts and methods to help viewers understand all the technical and ethical considerations of this issue. Ah, freedom!

In Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger, Stephen had a short segment about a wedding in Seattle and using cell phones while driving. While it was interesting, I was disappointed that he couldn't tie those two stories together. Surely he could have found common ground if only he had delved a little deeper into both stories.

His guest tonight was Bill Broad, Science Writer for New York Times. He's pretty darn good at writing stuff. He has won two Pulitzer Prizes and other awards. And he has written lots of books. The book that he and Stephen talked about tonight was, "The Science of Yoga." Yoga helps him relax. And while they could have discussed science for most of the interview, they tended to talk about other topics. But now that I think back on the whole show, except for the dog part, most of the stories were actually related in one way or another. I guess Stephen has good writers writing for the show.

In a break from tradition, Stephen had another guest on for the last five seconds of the show. That doesn't happen very often!

Do Not Do It

After talking basketball and power saws, Stephen turned his attention to Valentine's Day or as he calls it:

Stephen Colbert's "Americone Dream Free from 5pm to 8pm at Participating Ben and Jerry's Scoop Shops Nationwide" Day. Oh, I hope I got the name of that right.

Apology: I did not see Ben and Jerry on The Colbert Report tonight. Perhaps Dylan Rattigan meant Stephen would talk about ice cream and that Ben and Jerry would not actually be on the show. So, if you were expecting to see Ben and Jerry, I do apologize. Maybe tomorrow night, but no more promises.

Anyway, Stephen sent Jimmy Fallon, his Eternal Enemy for Six Months, a really sweet Valentine's Day card. "My dearest Jimmiest," and it went on and on from there. Stephen sent it via Late Night Mail system which is a cute white bunny wearing a mail bag. One can only wonder what will happen when Jimmy gets the card. They are supposed to be Eternal Enemies until March 3rd.

Stephen's guest tonight was environmentalist Bill McKibben. He has led the effort to kill the Keystone Pipeline. He talked about oil and how profit in one of the things that keeps us drilling for more oil and using it when we could be using cleaner fuels. Stephen reminded him that the planet still turns. The interview was short, so you can go to Bill McKibben's website for more information and see photos from the enormous 350 EARTH project, or go to 350.org and be astounded by the photo of Stephen Colbert with the caption: Colbert Viewers: Go Straight to the Petition!

And yet Stephen told us very sternly, "Do Not Do It!" But I kind of think he really does want us to do it or why would his photo, his smiling photo, be right there on the website?

This is important. Go to 350.org and click on the photo of Stephen and sign the petition. What's at stake? Drinking water for millions of Americans across the Midwest. And more, much more.

Get the Dough Out

I have it on good authority that Ben and Jerry will be on The Colbert Report tonight. (Well, I saw Ben and Jerry on The Dylan Ratigan Show today and Dylan Ratigan said they will be on The Colbert Report tonight, so I assume it will happen.) Ben is a human being. Jerry is a human being. But Ben and Jerry's is not a human being. That is probably what Ben and Jerry will be talking about with Stephen. And also, get the DOUGH out.org will most likely be mentioned. And ice cream. They'll hopefully talk about ice cream, too.

Everybody is glad that Stephen is back from vacation. Jon Stewart will be back on his show, The Daily Show, which is the warm-up act for The Colbert Report. We can all now breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy the night again. I know it has been stressful for people when they can't watch Colbert and Stewart.

*** Just a few days left to vote in the very important "Name the New State on the Moon" poll. Even if you don't plan on living on the Moon, go ahead and cast your vote for your choice. You will have to write that state name of envelopes when you send birthday cards to your friends up there, so while you may not have a huge stake in what happens up there, it still is important what the name of the state will be. I'm sure that Stephen COLBERT would want you to vote. Stephen COLBERT would want you to look over the complete list and choose a name, whether it be the first name on the list, or something that reflects the fact that it will be the newest state, or whatever you as a viewer of The COLBERT Report think would be the best name.

Colbert in Outer Space

Well not exactly in outer space, but he is promoting it. I found this video of Stephen doing a PSA for NASA.

There's also other interesting videos you can watch about space stuff such as other planets, our moon, comets and other things that are literally out of this world.

Stop Colbert

Oh, no! Stephen and The Colbert Report are off this week and look what happens:

Nancy Pelosi vs Stephen Colbert.

In this YouTube video, Nancy Pelosi rips Stephen Colbert to shreds in support of the DISCLOSE Act. She wants a Better Tomorrow Today!

I Was the Perfect Candidate

I know what you're thinking. Stephen Colbert was the perfect candidate for President of the United States. That is true. No one can deny that.

But actually it is someone else who is claiming that honor. Michele Bachmann. (And yes, Bachmannouri is one of the names for the new Moon state and it was named after her.) You can hear her say that she was the perfect candidate over at HuffPo along with a lot of other things. She talked with Bloomberg TV's Al Hunt for quite a while, although she also admitted that he wasn't going to get answers from her. He asked questions such as who is best out of the field of GOP candidates left standing. She must be biding her time so that she doesn't back a loser.

It's long, over twenty minutes, so if you have a short attention span, you might not get through all of it. But if you listen around 4:20 you can hear her say she was most conservative and that she was the perfect candidate.

Really? Really? I wish someone would ask that question of Stephen Colbert. He is the most conservative and he is the perfect candidate. There can't be two who are most conservative, because "most" automatically means the person at the top of the list.

Perhaps the way to really judge who is perfect is to just ask yourself this: Who has his own TV show? Yes, we can tell who is best my simply remembering that he has a TV show and she doesn't.

Glad I could shed some light on that issue.

Stephen and Stefon

I watched Saturday Night Live Saturday night and enjoyed the opening skit with Newt Gingrich, Moon President. It's seeming more and more likely that we will soon have our 51st state up there. (Note the poll in right hand column. Be sure to cast your vote.)

There's also been news lately of Susan G. Komen for the Cure and Planned Parenthood. I also found this concerning Ari Fleischer and Komen.

All of this made me think of previous posts about John Kyl and Planned Parenthood.

MythBusters Meet John Kyl
Not Intended to be a Factual Statement
It is Enough That It Be Truthy

Anyway, to bring all this together with the title of this post, I happened upon this about Stephen Colbert at Gawker. You can watch Stephen talking about John Kyl and his "not intended to be a factual statement" statement. It's about four minutes long and at times, Stephen has a difficult time keeping a straight face. It reminded me of Stefon on Saturday Night Live. He also often has a difficult time keeping a straight face. You can watch this clip at hulu of Stefon giving his suggestions for fun Valentine ideas. That also runs about four minutes.

It's fun to watch both Stephen and Stefon trying to keep straight faces but laughing as they speak into the camera. Once a person starts laughing, it is not easy to get back to being serious.

Alex Rigopulos

It's Groundhog Day and so of course Stephen mentioned the Puppy Bowl. It's what we all are waiting to watch this Sunday. And then he mentioned Candlemas which really got him going on and on. (Both Groundhog Day and Candlemas come around each year on February 2.)

One thing that is really dear to Stephen is his Super PAC. He has raised about a million dollars! There were 31,595 donors. There were 1600 people who gave $1 - wow! And there was one person, Alex Rigopulos, who donated $9600 ! ! ! He was the biggest donor. I'm glad I didn't try for that distinction. I couldn't even come close to that amount. Ham Rove made a very brief appearance and then Stephen talked about how popular his Super PAC was in Google and about how much more popular he wants it to be.

I should have written this down. He wants his Super PAC to show up in Google as a mixture of campaign funding ... that is ... politics. That's basically what he said. Plans for the Super PAC now are for cat breading.

Newt, Newt, Newt. What will you come up with next? Apparently Newt Gingrich, author (or co-author) of many copyrighted books, is being sued for using the song "Eye of the Tiger" for some years now. It is a copyrighted song. He has been asked to stop it. Time will tell, but for now, for tonight, we got to listen to Dave Bickler putting one of Newt's books to music and singing it for our enjoyment. Well, now, the shoe's on the other foot, isn't it?

Tonight's guest was Christiane Amanpour and the interview was as different from last night's interview (with Ameena Matthews) as an interview could be. Much of the time Stephen and Christiane were talking at the same time. On the one hand, that does save time and make for a shorter interview, but on the other hand, it makes it hard to understand what either of them was saying. They did talk about Iran and eventually got around to this:

Amanapour: "Some people are actually talking about potentially using nuclear weapons."

Colbert: "I just did (talk about that), --- now."

Amanpour: "But serious people."

Audience: "Gasp! GASP!"

Colbert: Utter silence. Wide eyes. Sad look on face.

And then when Stephen came back from commercial to say, "Good Night," he also added , "We are off for the next week."

Off next week? Is it because of Valentine's Day? Or were his feelings hurt by not being considered a serious person with actual opinions and thoughts?

I feel so bad for Stephen. I just hope lots of people will vote for New Colbertland in the poll (upper right had corner) before he gets back to the show. It would make him feel better to have yet something else named after him. Let's see, an eagle, a mascot, an ice cream flavor, a turtle, an aeroplane, a spider, and a treadmill. So, yep, that future state up on the Moon should be named after him. Cast your vote soon.

Groundhog Day

You know the routine. Go over to bing and see the cute woodchuck.

I wonder if someday this holiday will rival many others for attention. Hallmark, Peeps, m&m's and others are missing out on great marketing strategy by not making a bigger deal about this holiday. I imagine it's because Valentine's Day is just around the corner. But if Hallmark gets going on a better selection of Groundhog Day Cards, I'll be sure to send them to all my friends and family.

GOP, BFF, and Credible Messenger

First off, the Republican primaries are moving right along. Stephen was prepared to call the Florida election and he called it for Mitt Romney. It helped a lot that all the votes were in and counted. Newt Gingrich came in second, but it was not a close second, so Mitt did really well. But there does seem to be a little bit of conflict or animosity. Some would even dare to call it negativity or nastiness. Mitt Romney has an answer to all of that. While some say this will hurt the party, he says that "a competitive primary does not divide us, it prepares us."

As a fellow conservative, Stephen is ready to help. He set up a new Twitter account, #preparethem, and sent these on his show even as we watched.

"Newt's only hope for your vote is if you've been in a coma for 20 years and if you have he probably divorced you. newt2012"

"Mitt Romney is not a vulture capitalist. Vultures only eat things that are dead. romney2012"

Everyone should help prepare these two candidates.
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Sadly, Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack Ice Cream seems to be selling better than Stephen's Americone Dream. This is very disturbing to Stephen, partly because the two of them used to be Best Friends Forever (for 6 months). Luckily, now Stephen's will be sold in a "Superpack". Not only that, but it is collectable. You know this because, 1) Stephen said so and 2) it says right on the pack "2012 Collectable Election Year Package." Stephen suggests that we buy this valuable container. Don't open it because then it would not retain its collectable value. Put it in your safe deposit box along with your most valuable papers and documents.

Valentines Special - Stephen did say that there will be free Americone Dream at participating Ben & Jerry's. I don't have details, but if you live close to a Scoop Shop, check it out on February 14 and see if you are one of the lucky ice cream lovers.

Interesting tidbit. If you go to Ben & Jerry's Fun page at their website, you can play the game To The Moon. I don't think this has anything with Newt's plan to go To The Moon, but it would help prepare all of us for eventually going into space to colonize the Moon.

Be sure to vote for your favorite name for the Moon state in the right hand column at the top of the page.
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Stephen's guest tonight was Ameena Matthews. She is a CeaseFire Violence Interrupter working to end gang violence. She is featured in the documentary, "The Interrupters" to be shown on Frontline on pbs on February 14 at 9 p.m. (check local listings).

It's always interesting to see who will be the guest each night. Sometimes it is someone who is a performer, such as Björk last night. Sometimes it is a politician. Sometimes a journalist. But always interesting. Occasionally funny even. Tonight, Stephen was in finer form that usual. He had many great questions, and (dare I say it? sure why not...) not so many interruptions (ironic) and not so many one-liners as usual. We really did get to hear quite a bit of what Ameena Matthews had to say.

He did show a short video clip of her talking to a group of young men, all of whom were listening intently. "Why are those young men listening to you?" was Stephen's question.

"Because I'm considered a credible messenger." She said that she is not lecturing to them, she is having a conversation. She is finely tuned in to what is happening. She considers violence a disease.

The fact that she could hold Stephen's attention, and that he kept asking questions and listening to her answers, speaks to her talent and skill to use her voice in a very powerful way.