We Don't Have the Richest Guy?

Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation

Straight men are more stressed out than gay or bisexual men. Stephen knew the reason for that - dealing with women. He quickly added how great he thinks women are. (Whew!) Anyway, that's according to a study done recently in Montreal (that's in Canada) about anxiety and sexual orientation. Go read it here, then come back because I have a few comments.

First of all, the study authors do admit that 87 people is a small sample from which to draw conclusions. And Montreal may not have the same results as say a place like Montana or Monaco. The second thing I want to point out (and this may change in that sometimes links on a page change and I have no control over that) is that there is a link to another study in the Los Angeles Times that says men are "more likely commit research fraud than women." I just wonder who did the research on that? Was it men or was it women? But I digress and that's a topic for a post some other day or year.

All this talk about stress had Stephen all stressed out and was probably the cause of him putting his foot in his mouth over and over. (Is it safe for me to say that? Does it have some meaning I'm not aware of? I hope not.) Anyway, it brought him to The Word - It Gets Worse. You may be aware of DOMA. If I read Stephen's take on Paul Clement's Take on DOMA, marriage between "Adam and Eve" is important because of unintended offspring. Okay..... um, what? I'm sure we'll hear more about this in the weeks to follow.

Colin Powell has said that there are some folks in the Republican Party that aren't exactly "with it" as far as the current state of race relations in America. He may be right because the Ku Klax Klan is pursuing new recruitment strategies in that they did a lit drop in the dead of night in many locations along the East Coast. People woke up to find flyers on their driveway urging them to join the KKK.

Stephen had many video clips for this segment about the folks in white flowing robes. One clip was of Boris Sanchez reporting that the Klan says they are not a hate group any more.

(Technical point for Boris. It is the Ku Klux Klan. That first part of their name is Ku. It does not sound the same as the word "clue." It does not have an "L" in it. The origin of the name is probably from the Greek word kuklos. I'm pretty sure I heard Boris say Klu and not Ku. So, Boris and everyone else who pronounces it wrong, get it right.)

Here's a little bit more information about the Klan. Southern Poverty Law Center has this about Ku Klux Klan. PBS has this and also has this.

Anyway, Stephen showed a video clip of a KKK member talking on his backyard deck about the KKK. Apparently, they are not a hate group any more. But then why does the guy feel the need to disguise himself by wearing the traditional white robe and hood? And speaking of the traditional white robe and hood, Stephen had an idea for an updated version of the disguise, I mean costume, I mean uniform. It would lend a more transparent ideal to the organization.

But then on to something completely different. Bill Gates was the guest last night. You may know him as the husband of friend of the show Melinda Gates. Stephen started their friendly conversation by asking Bill if he is still the richest guy in the world. Oh oh. The answer was No. Stephen was immediately upset. Not brought to tears upset, but still, upset. He queried his staff as to why they couldn't get the richest guy to be on the show. Stephen, being the professional that he is, went on with the show, successfully hiding his disappointment.

First of all, Stephen talked about the 2013 Annual Letter from Bill Gates. (Read it Now.) Stephen had it right there with him, all glossy and printed on paper. "You know about email, right?" I think Stephen was just pulling his leg with that little bit of humor. Speaking of legs and being able to walk, the news is good about Polio. One thing the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation is doing is trying to eradicate Polio and Malaria and other diseases. Last year there were only 250 cases of Polio in the entire world and hopefully in six years it will be down to zero cases. They talked about the importance of data as well as the importance of passion in accomplishing the goals of the Foundation. Bill Gates told Stephen that here in America, the main focus of the Foundation is on education.

Stephen asked if Bill missed the old days of staying up all night writing code. While it was exciting, Bill admitted he wasn't as young as he used to be. At that point, Stephen threw him a compliment and said he didn't look a day over 40!

Are You Saying I Don't Know When To Shut Up?

Is anyone else of the opinion that Stephen seems to be fascinated by apes, monkeys, chimpanzees, etc? Surely those are not the most important stories and yet I find myself often reporting on Stephen reporting on our simian cousins. The most recent stories have been about apes in space and apes with a bit of an anger problem. Anyone wonder which part of the zoo Stephen heads to first when he wants to talk to the animals?

Strangely enough, Stephen was able to go from apes to gun control with a short clip of Charlton Heston displaying his hands that obviously were in need of gloves because his fingers were cold. You may remember Charlton Heston was in the 1968 film, "Planet of the Apes." He also was in the NRA and so the seamless transition from apes to guns. And forget what Stephen said about "When Harry Met Sally..." I don't for a minute think Charlton Heston ever auditioned for the part of Sally.

You know how sometimes there are glitches. (Yes we are all too aware of glitches.) Anyway, Stephen had a technical glitch on his show when we were supposed to see a map of states but instead saw a building. Most people would have been horrified to the point of running off the stage, but Stephen just smiled. He is such a professional!

Stephen mentioned the state of Mississippi. And Stephen was in such a joyful mood tonight. Anyway, he highlighted some legislation being proposed in Mississippi and no it is not about moustaches, but I did include this particular link so that you can see what Stephen was talking about. It is about following or not following federal laws.

Here to clarify pertinent laws is/was Cliff Sloan, one of the authors of "The Great Decision: Jefferson, Adams, Marshall, and the Battle for the Supreme Court." It got pretty tricky, lots of legal terms, including the word nullification. Bottom line, any time a state tries to say the law doesn't apply to us, the Constitution comes in and says that the Constitution is correct. Stephen kept bringing up valid points, but Cliff Sloan proved to Stephen why Stephen is wrong. Stephen said there is nothing in the Constitution that says the Constitution is constitutional. Ding dong he's wrong. Interesting stuff. Do you have your copy of the Constitution? See how to make your own here. Stephen's final answer is for a state to ratify a new amendment that says, "Be it known, you're not the boss of me." Check and checkmate.

George Saunders was the guest last night. His recent book, "Tenth of December", is a collection of short stories.  Stephen and George spent a lot of time discussing the pros and cons of short stories versus long novels. Stephen obviously wants a very long novel. He wants to know everything. We also got to see that Stephen is not very good at Knock Knock Jokes. Every fourth grader is an expert at that comedic talent and yet Stephen failed to deliver a good punch line.

Liberals That Glow in the Dark

Stephen reminisced about sending messages to certain airport employees. Sometimes he would write that he doesn't want a Kosher meal. Sometimes he would just say "Hi."

Australia has been in the news lately because of the typhoons, wildfires and record heat. Stephen is amazed that this has happened in January and is concerned about what it would be like in the summertime. (Stephen apparently doesn't realize that the seasons in the southern hemisphere are the exact opposite for the northern hemisphere. It is summer in Australia now. Don't tell him.) To take care of these problems, Australia has added new map colors that include temperatures in the 120s. Wow. Extremes such as these prompted Stephen to talk about global climate change, noting that 78 percent of respondents believe that Earth has warmed in last 100 years. Even Richard Muller agrees that the Earth is warming as scientists have been telling us. So we can do something about it. Some people (you know who they are, people like Erick Erickson) just say what the heck, just get used to all the pollution and problems from climate change.

Stephen had a really nice, genuine, friendly, cordial conversation (one-sided) with North Korea. He thinks we should stay foes with benefits rather than arch-enemy. He also talked about their neighbor South Korea. I think South Korea is aware of North Korea. Stephen reminded North Korea that we are not in loathe with them.

 Last night, Stephen had tie-less environmentalist Michael Shellenberger of The Breakthrough Institute on as his guest. He is one of the authors of the book "Break Through: Why We Can't Leave Saving the Planet to Environmentalists". His push is for innovation to keep up with our energy needs. Michael Shellenberger was able to tie together Frankenstein and the Environment. Neat trick! And he is, if you can believe it, pro-nuclear. Stephen also mentioned the film Pandora's Promise which will premier at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival and features Michael Shellenberger in it.

Is Stephen a Cool Dad or What

First I was going to  have the title be "Cool Dad." Then I thought of having "Is Stephen a Cool Dad?" And then I decided on what I have up there now.  And although that seems like a question up there, it's not really. It goes without saying that he is a Cool Dad. But I'm getting way ahead of myself.

Back on last Thursday, we learned a lot about France from Stephen. It was fascinating. I would like to go there some day. I just love their bread.

He also talked about Mali and the way that France and Mali are related and how both are in the news now. In order to help us understand what is going on, Stephen brought Edward Berenson, Director for the Institute of French Studies at NYU onto the show. It was great because we learned that Mali is indeed a what and not a who. And he spoke some French so we know that he knows what he's talking about.

In order to keep up with government affairs, we got to see a video clip of Hillary Clinton and Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin either having an interview or putting on some sort of theatrical play. I wasn't quite sure of that part of the show. I think it was confusing to Stephen as well. He, at times, has caused some women to be angry. But now he wonders, were they faking this anger? That hardly seems possible. Stephen knows what's going on with the lady folk.

Stephen had a wonderful guest Thursday night. It was his youngest guest so far! Tavi Gevinson is sixteen, but you have to do more than just be the "youngest guest" in order to get on The Colbert Report. And she has. If you look at that Wikipedia article about her, and read the footnote references, you see that she started a fashion blog in 2008 that was getting nearly 30,000 readers a day. It also says that she had declined 95% of her interview requests. Which makes her appearance on Stephen's show that much more special.

Tavi has to maintain an even balance between her own thoughts on fashion along with, for instance, companies that have supported her. At that point, Stephen took the interview to more serious subjects. He went on and on about how sometimes celebrities are asked to write for Rookie and how very very very happy they must be if and when they are asked to write for Rookie. And then out of the blue, Tavi asked Stephen if he would like to write something! Stephen was so surprised. He did however immediately come up with a topic. He would write from the perspective of a 48 year-old dad and the title would be, "You're Not Wearing That." Apparently, Colorforms would also be involved.

We also had a glorious opportunity to view some "looks" that we would like to see for Stephen. It included the Tortured Artist, which ladies would like, a nice "Boy Band Member with bangs carrying a puppy," and finally, a Cool Dad giving a piggy back ride to  young child. Many Cool Dads watch Stephen's show because he has a Cool Dad show.

Finishing up the interview, he wished Tavi good luck in whatever next thing she conquers. He also reminded us to go buy her book, "Rookie Yearbook One."

Now I have a bit of a conundrum. Did Tavi Gevinson receive the famous "The Colbert Bump," or perhaps did Stephen receive the apparently just as important "The Tavi Gevinson Bump?"

Controversy

Stephen, with his remarkable investigative skills, has uncovered controversy. This is huge. The controversy is whether or not there should be a controversy about whether or not Beyonce was lip sync-ing the National Anthem at the Inauguration. Now I'm curious.... Remember her in "I'm a Single Lady?" Now I wonder if they all might have been leg sync-ing instead of actually dancing. Like I said, this is huge. There is really nothing we should be doing until we know everything there is to know about this.

But enough about that. In Tip Hat Wag Finger, we learned that a rural town in Ohio (Montpelier) the janitors and custodians will be armed. Not to worry, they will go to a 2-day training session, so they will be fully trained, just like our law enforcement professionals who get a college degree and practice with their firearms on a monthly basis. "Why the custodian?" people might ask. Obvious choice. They don't have a classroom full of kids as the teachers do and unlike administrators, they are not needed for quick decisions. So, give the guns to the guys we don't trust making decisions.

Have you seen my Burmese Python? He's missing. Well, actually I never had a pet snake. In Florida, it's a problem. They have a lot of snakes and it's a problem. Florida has a bounty on them, but I hear it's not helping to solve this problem. It's really a problem. Glad I don't live there.

Stephen's Alpha Dog of the Week is the Virginia State Senate. Just go read about it here. You won't believe what they have done now.

Stephen's guest for January 23 was Mary Lincoln. Oops, I mean Sally Field who plays Mary Lincoln in the movie Lincoln. According to Sally Field, Mary Lincoln was under-appreciated. She had great influence over her husband Abe Lincoln. We got to see a clip of the movie Lincoln and yes it sure looked like she had influence. We found out than neither Mary Lincoln nor Sally Field have been invited to many parties. This prompted Stephen to invite Sally out for a drink and to also try to get his wedding ring off his finger. I guess you had to be there. Anyway, another movie to go see this weekend.

Hollywood Directors Are a Dime a Dozen

Everyone on Fox News agrees with Stephen on how unimpressive Obama's Inaugural Speech was. According to them, it was all about big government or socialism. Here's the thing and Stephen explained it quite well. There's that show on TV, Downton Abbey. People just love that show about the rich people and how nice the rich people are and how well the rich people treat the poor people. Basically, according to Stephen, the popularity of Downton Abbey proves America loves rich guys just as the popularity of Breaking Bad proves America loves meth dealers. (I have always wondered if Downton Abbey was inspired by Downtown. I don't know, but I have wondered.)

You would have thought Stephen could have gotten Gerald Mander the Third on for the show since he talked about him quite a bit. Mr. Mander's legacy is Gerrymandering and it was the subject of The Word for January 22. Win, Lose, or Redraw. It's how the GOP is figuring to win elections. Doing what voters want just doesn't cut it any more. It is sad because the way it is now, the losing party never gets to pick the president. (Okay, just read that again and think about it.) Stephen had great commentary about all of this. He gets it. To find out more about Elections and  Gerrymandering, here's some links.

Fair Vote about Redistricting

Wikipedia about Gerrymandering

Neat YouTube about Gerrymandering featuring lions, buffaloes, jackalopes and weasels.

What it all boils down to is that instead of voters getting to pick their leaders, the leaders get to pick their voters. Not the way Democracy is supposed to work.

On to the great outdoors. Stephen started talking about our National Parks but he was interrupted. "Excuse me. We need to talk." Surprise - it was Dustin Hoffman, Stephen's guest for the show. Stephen plays a pivotal role in the movie Quintet. (He plays the spoons!) Bad news from Dustin. Stephen's parts were cut from the movie and the name was changed to "Quartet." So then Dustin Hoffman claimed Stephen was not a good actor and Stephen told him that Hollywood Directors are a dime a dozen. "Any Hollywood Directors in the audience????" asked Stephen. As luck would have it, Kathryn Bigelow was in the audience and agreed to be interviewed. So, Dustin was out and Kathryn was in as the replacement guest.

She is the director of a little movie called "Zero Dark Thirty." Stephen and Kathryn Bigelow had a brief discussion about this movie which might be considered controversial. Interestingly enough, the first commercial after the interview was for "Movie 43" which I think is quite a different type of movie. Anyway, when Stephen came back, he urged us to go see "Zero Dark Thirty" AND "Quartet." So even though he was cut from Dustin Hoffman's movie, he harbors no bad feelings. Looks like it's going to be a movie weekend for all of us.

Stephen Colbert Is Right

That goes without saying, or course. Stephen has been upset, somewhat, that Barack Obama has taken the oath of office as POTUS so many times. But on the other hand, he was pleased to see that James Taylor sang at the Inauguration. This was supposed to be Day One for Whatshisname, but instead it is President Obama giving an Inaugural Speech, again. This time he kept talking about We the people, or as he said it, We, ... the People. It all was so distressing to Stephen that he felt compelled to take his own oath of office. And he did. And it was magnificent or as Oprah would have said, satisfying.

I had a special connection to the next part of the show, the Threat Down. It was about being sick - the Contagion Edition. We have a flu epidemic that's really bad. It includes lots of vomiting and we know that Kate Middleton was doing that a lot recently, so we can blame her for causing it and also expect everyone will now do copycat vomiting because she is so popular. Scientists have created vomiting robots, well that's just great. We are finding out that gonorrhea is super intelligent. And bears, well, Pandas, have great blood, super resistant blood. So again, wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze (or vomit), drink lots of fluids and get enough rest. Stay healthy!

Stephen's guest back on January 21 was Ta-Nehisi Coates, Senior Editor for the Atlantic. The first thing Stephen did, (please note that Stephen doesn't see race) was to talk extensively with Ta-Nehisi Coates about race and being black and black folks. He wanted to know if it was still exciting that Obama is president. "Yes." And perhaps even more exciting than the first time Obama was elected. Stephen noted that black kids can look up to Barack Obama but white kids got stuck looking up to Joe Biden as a role model. This was one of those nights when Stephen's questions and comments seemed to be non-stop. He should have used some of these questions back when the interview dragged when Benjamin Gibbard was the guest.

Anyway, Stephen did get around to asking for an opinion of Michele Obama's new hairstyle, the one with bangs. Well, first rule is you don't talk about a black woman's hair. Point well taken. ( You never hear anyone talking about Stephen's hair. Why is that?)

Update: Here's someone who knew a lot about hair - Madame C.J. Walker.

Dear Pat

Matt Taibbi was on in the pre-interview segment for a mini-interview. He and Stephen talked about HSBC. You can read about HSBC here.

In a segment that Stephen did not have a title for, but a segment that Dear Abby would surely approve of, we got some relationship advice from none other than Pat Robertson. A 17 year-old had written Pat Robertson that his mom feels alone because his dad spends too much time hogging the Xbox 360. Pat Robertson's advice was that "maybe Mom is not as sweet as you think she is." Basically, Pat thinks she needs to keep looking good. She needs to live up to Pat Robertson standards of what a woman should be.

You know that joke about the woman complaining to the priest that her husband drinks and then the priest says if he was married to her he would drink too? Yep, Pat told it on the 700 club back on January 9 so well that probably everyone in his television audience was rolling on the floor laughing.

It might be a good time to check out how Pat and Stephen are doing over at one of my favorite sources for information, Conservapedia. Back in October of 2009 I had a post about Conservapedia. Pat Robertson's page on Conservapedia showed 9,180 hits back then while Stephen's showed 95,815 hits. Today those numbers are 20,081 for Robertson and 194,149 for Colbert. If you don't believe me, just go look at the page for Stephen Colbert.

Tom Brokaw was the guest for January 16. Brokaw impressed Stephen with all the Brokaw things he is able to do. Brokaw is of the opinion that soon Texas will be completely different thanks to the Latino vote. It was more fascinating political stuff and included Stephen working in a Star Trek reference. I think Stephen is actually impressed with Tom Brokaw. Perhaps if Stephen does run for POTUS, he might think about Tom Brokaw as his VP choice!

Macaque Attack

Lance Armstrong has finally come clean and Oprah got the big interview. But since she kept the interview under wraps until air time, Stephen had to make stuff up. It was a great example of creative editing and illustrated clearly how careful we all have to be about taking things out of context.

In a Monkey on the Lam update, the monkey has been caught. If you look at this link about the monkey, you will notice that Stephen Colbert is mentioned!

Stephen had a short segment about music lovers, and then on to the interview. Jared Diamond, who I must say, dresses more colorfully than anyone I remember seeing on the show. At least, more colorfully in a conventional suit. But that doesn't matter. His recent book, "The World Until Yesterday" is one of those books that has people longing for the good old days. And we are talking really old days. Stephen learned that he could impress people of some of these traditional cultures with electric can openers. If you aren't familiar with Jared Diamond, he looks exactly like the mascot of the Fighting Irish.

Chimpanzees Dancing

Last night I added a poll to my blog. Take a look and give your opinion. No, wait, you can't do that right now. There is a message where the poll should be. It says this:

Polls are currently not
available, please comb back
later.

Well, so there you have it. I know not many people take the time to just click in the circle before the choices in the polls. But it makes it really hard to get a sense of what the country and world think on any topic.

Never mind. I'm sure it's just a glitch and glitches sooner or later get unglitched. So, check back later and make your mark. Let the world know how many chimpanzees can dance on the head of a pin.

BREAKING NEWS!!! The poll is up again. Whew, we're back to normal again.

Have You Read the Constitution?

Piers Morgan was Stephen's guest on January 14, but the more important portion of the show was Stephen's ever-changing wardrobe. He started out the show with a suit made of natural fibers, transitioned into a perfectly normal Brooks Brothers suit, and by the end of the show, it seemed as if he was channeling a magician with a suit that had incredible pockets, all containing a very special book.

But back to the beginning of the show. Stephen had video. In a recent discussion between Piers Morgan and Alex Jones, the question was asked, "How many chimpanzees can dance on the head of a pin?" Sadly, we did not get the answer. Do you know? Do you have an opinion?

Moving on, we learned that Vitamin Water is not necessarily as healthy as it might sound. Who knew?

Moving very quickly on to the guest. Yes it was Piers Morgan. He discussed guns with Stephen and here is where Stephen became somewhat of a magician. You know how magicians are always pulling rabbits out of hats and flowers out of pockets? Well, Stephen seemed to have a never-ending supply of Pocket Constitutions that he gave to Piers Morgan with the obvious intention of schooling the Englishman in the laws of our land. Let's hope Piers is up to the challenge and reads all three copies that Stephen gave him.

Do you have your copy of the Constitution? Here's how to get your own Pocket Size Constitution for FREE. Of course, you could also just be a guest on The Colbert Report and maybe Stephen would give you one of his.

Let's See Them Laugh at This

Still catching up on previous episodes from when I was so sick. So, on with the show. Stephen had a fascinating study of the current status of romantic relationships, paying special attention to the great state of Wisconsin. We also got an update on President Obama's Cabinet and how that ties in with that classic Western film, "Blazing Saddles." Why or why did "Blazing Saddles" not get at least one Academy Award?

Luckily for us, the Tip Wag Fans are in the house and we learned about Happy Fork. Use your imagination. You're wrong. Here's the scoop. We also learned about the favorite cereals of the NBA.

Moving quickly along, Ben or Benjamin Gibbard was the guest. It was a very subdued and somewhat short interview. Ben did not have a lot to say. He's from Seattle, so he was dressed formally in jeans and a shirt. Stephen did not have many questions. Sometimes the stars and planets just seem to line up that way. Think of how many times Stephen has a very talkative and even controversial guest  and Stephen has hundreds of questions and comments. Too bad it couldn't work out better and have just one or the other, guest or Stephen, have lots to say. I guess it's true what they say, feast or famine.

Anyway, we did get to hear a song from Ben and there was a special surprise guest who also sang with. Okay, it was Aimee Mann. It was a great performance, nice song - "Bigger Then/Than Love" from the album "Former Lives." I would mention, and by mentioning, I am in no way complaining, but again I would just say that I am mentioning this. I Could Hear the Drums. So, just a word to the wise. Also the title of the song. Is it Then? Is it Than? Correct grammar would probably make me think it is Than. But over at his website, Ben has Then. So, is this just a simple typo? Or is there some deeper/different meaning to the song? I don't know. I'm no expert. Maybe it's just a Seattle thing.

It's About MY Feelings

I do try to be a family friendly blog and since this week has seen some instances on The Colbert Report that were just a teeny tiny bit not appropriate for all ages, you will find this post somewhat shorter than usual. Let's just say that Stephen agreed with a certain person named Wayne when Wayne said, "Call me crazy." Stephen also talked about the potential for some health issues for some people who may not tolerate gluten, you know, that stuff in bread. He had on the show McGnaw, the Gluten-Free Beaver. I think it is always cute to have a mascot or spokesmascot on the show. But again, maybe not appropriate for preteens. And yet, I bet the preteens watching laughed the loudest. Well, whatcha gonna do?

On with the guest segment. Neil Shubin talked with Stephen about his new book, "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People." Stephen did not seem to like being compared to plants. As a matter of fact, Neil Shubin even said Stephen is related to the planet Jupiter, as is Neil Shubin, which therefore makes the two men cousins.

I had thought, before Neil Shubin came on the show, that Stephen would ask lots of questions about Organismal Biology and Anatomy. But credit is due to Stephen for not trying to confuse words that are spelled alike. It would have been so easy.

Extensive Vocabulary

Do you want to get rich? You know, rich like Stephen Colbert? His strategy is to buy Forever Stamps. You buy them today for one price and then when the price goes up, like it is on January 27 of this year, you can still use the stamps that were the cheaper price. That's a good deal. But the idea of stamps going up in price a penny, one whole cent, made Stephen really mad. No more is he going to put a  46 cent stamp on a letter, mail it in Miami for delivery in Seattle. Nope. He will buy an airplane ticket and deliver all his mail himself. Yikes, for me that would have meant traveling to more than ten states to deliver my Christmas cards. Can I get an airplane ticket for less than 50 cents? Hmmm, I wonder.

Leading right from the cost of mailing a letter vs. delivering it yourself via air travel was Stephen's segment about anger. Someone said that getting angry can make you live longer. A better plan is to just take Vasca-Ternity Pills. Sadly, trying to get the bottle open made Stephen, yep, angry. Another way to stat young is to get a blood transfusion from a young person. Enter Jay the Intern, or rather, the Vacsa-Tern. Poor Jay the Intern.

Stephen's guest for January 8 was Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe. We learned that he is a nice football player in that he often gives the football to the other team. Plus he can flex which impressed Stephen somewhat... Most importantly, we found out about the extensive vocabulary that Chris Kluwe has. He mentioned the election from this past November, Minnesotans defeated an attempt to define marriage in their State Constitution. It seems to me that a Dictionary should define marriage and a Constitution should determine how a state is governed.

Industrious and Hard Working

How will I ever get caught up now that I'm finally feeling better? I can't do a marathon writing session. That would take me into the wee hours of the morning, I would be over-tired and probably would eat junk food to stay awake and then I would get sick again. So, I'll just write what I can, when I can and keep it short. So...

Stephen told us not to Google Rusty Colbert. So I won't. There is an easy fix for the Fiscal Cliff problem. We just need to mint a Trillion Dollar Coin. Yeah, right. And then someone gives that coin to their grandson who puts it in a piggy bank and there it sits until that kid goes to college. Nope, that's not going to help.

Papa Bear (Bill O'Reilly) put his foot in his mouth with comments about Asians. Apparently he does not understand what stereotyping means. But he does understand the intricacies of logical thinking. He said Asians are not liberal. He said they are hard working. Therefore, and this is slick on his part, Liberals are not hard working, meaning they are lazy. Score one for Papa Bear.

Of course, Stephen is no saint in this department either. He fell into the same traps as Papa Bear. Good thing there are good, and by good I mean excellent, attorneys working for Comedy Central.

The guest on January 7 was Jimmy Wales of Wikipedia fame. If you have never visited Wikipedia, I would ask what planet you are from. Sorry, that was uncalled for. I apologize. Here, look at this page about elephants if you need a refresher about Wikipedia. Wikipedia has 19 billion page views a month and Jimmy Wales said they want to expand it worldwide to make it available to everyone. Growth in the Developing World is what he said (if I remember correctly).

Sorry Technical Difficulties

This is just great. Stephen is back and on the air and I'm sick. I won't go into details, but I have no strength or desire to watch TV or sit at the computer. Somehow I will catch up when I feel better. But for now, well, just read posts that you missed reading in the past and be sure to drink your orange juice, wash your hands well, and get plenty of rest.

Sigh.

Action, Camera, Lights....

The logical title would have been "Lights, Camera, Action" but I decided to spice things up a bit and put the words in alphabetical order. Stephen is back tonight. It seems like it's been forever, but it's only been three weeks, give or take a few days. Getting back to the title though. Typically on a TV or movie set first you would turn on the lights and make sure those are all working and that there was the correct amount of good lighting. Then you would turn on the cameras, again making sure they were working correctly. Only then would the actors begin with their lines or songs or dances, etc.

One can imagine someone like Stephen shaking it up and doing it my way. First the actors start talking and moving around. Then the cameras start rolling. Finally the lights come on but by now people have been unable to read their cue cards, someone has tripped over the dog on the rug by the fireplace, the butler has poured the bourbon into grandma's lap, and everything is in general disarray.

Oh my gosh. You can see what three weeks without The Colbert Report has done to me. I've had to make up these little scenarios just to keep myself entertained. Thank heavens Stephen will be back in just a few hours.

Here's what's up for this week, according to Colbert Nation. Tonight is Jimmy Wales, Wikipedia Co-founder. This should be really interesting. I think he might talk about soup. Then we have Chris Kluwe, football player, from the Minnesota Vikings. Neil Shubin will show up on Wednesday and I have a feeling Stephen might get confused about Organismal Biology and Anatomy. Maybe not, but there is that possibility. Rounding out the week is Ben Gibbard, musician, so the possibility of some music at the end of the week is there to tempt us.

I am so glad he is back. My brain has been wasting away watching the mainstream liberal media and trying to make sense of it all by myself. Tonight, Stephen will make sense of it for me, and I can once again be informed.

Welcome back!