What is a Focus Group?

And what does it have to do with a "Chopper Pad?"

First off, a Focus Group. Those are the people that sit in the large room on chairs in rows in front of the one-way mirror. Is that the right term? No problem, I'll look it up in Wikipedia where all things are true. What? "A one-way mirror, also known as a two-way mirror, one-way glass, or two-way glass..." That could confuse some people. How can all those things refer to the same thing? Oh, never mind.

The important thing is that all those people sit there and answer questions that Dr. Luntz asks while Stephen sits behind the one-way/two-way mirror/glass and eats popcorn and drinks pop. From all the answers from all the people in the Focus Group, three things emerge.

1. Corporations are human.
2. Corporations are people - Will they be Chinese people or American people?
3. People are corporations.

Good, this will help Stephen and Dr. Luntz make a commercial for the Colbert SuperPAC that shows that Corporations are people. Of course, they should have the same rights as all people, the right to free speech, the right to bear arms and the right to get married, not gay married, but married. At least that is what Stephen wants Dr. Luntz to know.

Perhaps this would be a good time for me to inform people (and corporations too, I guess) that Dr. Luntz seems to sometimes be exasperated with Stephen. Maybe that's too strong of a word, but still, he must be getting paid well enough that it makes it worth his while. Maybe it's just that Stephen is a conservative and Dr. Luntz doesn't share his values. It's hard to figure.

Stephen had a presidential contender on his show tonight. And I don't mean that he interviewed himself. It was Jon Huntsman, former governor of the state of Utah. It was a short interview, as most of the interviews tend to be, but they covered a lot of ground. Jon Huntsman has worked for Reagan, Bush 41, Bush 43 and Obama. He speaks Mandarin Chinese, which is good considering he was Obama's Ambassador to China. I'm not sure if the speaking of Mandarin Chinese came first or if being Ambassador was first, but the one helps make the other possible and vice versa.

Tonight I really wished that I knew Mandarin Chinese. Jon Huntsman said a sentence or two in Mandarin Chinese. Since Stephen does not speak Mandarin Chinese, Jon Huntsman repeated it in English. He was looking for Stephen to possibly be his vice presidential running mate. Hey, if it was good enough for Sarah Palin, it certainly should be just fine for Stephen Colbert. But there's always that chance that it was just a joke and the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that Stephen probably does not have a good chance of being a vice presidential candidate this coming election.

Well, when all was said and done, Stephen said something that surprised me. Even after informing us that Huntsman is considered by some to be a moderate, Stephen was ready to give him the Colbert Bump. Huntsman has been polling at 2%, but Stephen promised to get him all the way up to whole milk.

* Chopper Pad is an endearing name Stephen used to refer to Dr. Luntz.