Nothing Up My Sleeve

Stephen started the show by demonstrating his creative genius for finding answers. Then he endorsed Herman Cain, or was he joking?

I'll explain. Herman Cain recently said that as president he would build a 20 foot high fence along the Mexican border and he would electrify it. (Most likely he is trying to have a better fence than what Michele Bachmann has planned.) Ah, but then he explained he was joking. No wait, then he said it might be a good idea and he hasn't really given up on that idea. So, depending on whether you like his ideas or not, he is joking or else he's not joking. This is true, I'm not joking about it.

And then in what can only be called some sort of horrifying Halloween scare tactic, Stephen told us that there's talk of limiting potatoes in school lunches. He explained, in great detail, why this would be bad, especially for young middle school boys who have only Tater Tots to sustain them, not just nutritionally but also emotionally.

In other food related news, we learned that Yum oops I mean Yum! Brands is applying for inclusion in the Food Stamp program. Currently, food stamps are only supposed to be used to buy food at grocery stores and not at fast food restaurants. Stephen weighed in on the issue and most likely he will weigh more after he weighed in on the issue. (Okay. He ate some food from Taco Bell. It's a joke. Or if you don't think it's funny, then it's not a joke.)

Stephen explained that Yum! includes Taco Bell, KFC, Long John Silver's and Pizza Hut. But it sort of does and sort of doesn't. You see, in January they put a "For Sale" sign on Long John Silver's and also A&W. And in September they announced that they had agreements to sell them, so right now it's a little bit confusing as to which restaurants are included at Yum!.

My feeling is that the food stamps should continue to be used at grocery stores only. If you let these fast food restaurants accept food stamps, then what would be next? Would all restaurants start accepting food stamps? Letting fast food restaurants accept food stamps for payment is just opening up a can of worms. Yikes, would that be the next thing that people could buy with food stamps?

Stephen's guest was Steven Pinker talking about his book, "The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined." He had some statistics which he shared with us. Statistics are always good. Prehistoric tribes killed each other at a rate of about 15%, but today, it's much less than a percentage point. Back in the Middle Ages, you were about 35% more likely to be murdered than you are today! To sum up and tie it all together, Stephen shared with Steven a nice example of irony.

The most exciting part of the show was at the very end. Yes, I know that is usually the saddest because the show is almost over, but there's a good reason. Stephen announced that "Tonight is the 6th year anniversary of The Colbert Report. Hard to believe because it was actually last night."

Whew, I thought I had it wrong on yesterday's post, but it actually was October 17.

Here's the part where you go to Colbert Nation for a great opportunity. Look for the link to Colbert Photo Show for Auction. Click on that for more information. You can bid on photos from The Colbert Report and help out Donors Choose.

And finally, you are probably wondering if Stephen unveiled his newest portrait of himself. And you are probably wondering if he has anything up his sleeve. Well, yes he did and yes he does!