Sunday, April 22, 2012
Gone For a Bit
I'll be traveling a bit, so I might not be posting for a while. It all depends on whether I have access to electronics.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Fetch
First of all, I have been doing quite well in the predicting the future department, if I do say so myself. I was writing about bologna (baloney) in the Rachel Rachel Rachel post yesterday and about Time magazine in Wednesday's post about I'm an Idiot. Last night Stephen talked about bologna(baloney) and Time magazine. So, pretty good for me.
But not as good as Cory Booker. He's the Mayor of Newark, New Jersey and recently ran into a burning building to fetch a woman and carry her out to safety. For that he gets Stephen's Alpha Dog of the Week.
Stephen had a fascinating trip to the lunch counter via everything we wanted to know about the illegal transport of bologna(baloney) into this country from Mexico. No one should be surprised though. Stephen had actual video footage of Janet Riley, the Queen of Wien, reading the ingredients. It makes me think that now any of us could go out and make our own bologna(baloney).
In his tribute to his own humility, Stephen did actually casually mention his appearance in Time Magazine as one of the Top 100 Most Influential People in the World. You can even see his driver's license photo of him if you buy the magazine. Or you can look online here.
Last night's guest was not a guest, but two guests. Tavis Smiley and Cornel West were on to talk about their book, "The Rich and the Rest of Us." Stephen said that he doesn't believe there are poor people. If that was the case, how could Tavis Smiley and Cornel West have written this book? That is something to think about. The two recently went on a bus tour to 18 cities to help highlight this issue. There's a lot of information (over at their website), so take a look and find out more than even Stephen learned last night.
But not as good as Cory Booker. He's the Mayor of Newark, New Jersey and recently ran into a burning building to fetch a woman and carry her out to safety. For that he gets Stephen's Alpha Dog of the Week.
Stephen had a fascinating trip to the lunch counter via everything we wanted to know about the illegal transport of bologna(baloney) into this country from Mexico. No one should be surprised though. Stephen had actual video footage of Janet Riley, the Queen of Wien, reading the ingredients. It makes me think that now any of us could go out and make our own bologna(baloney).
In his tribute to his own humility, Stephen did actually casually mention his appearance in Time Magazine as one of the Top 100 Most Influential People in the World. You can even see his driver's license photo of him if you buy the magazine. Or you can look online here.
Last night's guest was not a guest, but two guests. Tavis Smiley and Cornel West were on to talk about their book, "The Rich and the Rest of Us." Stephen said that he doesn't believe there are poor people. If that was the case, how could Tavis Smiley and Cornel West have written this book? That is something to think about. The two recently went on a bus tour to 18 cities to help highlight this issue. There's a lot of information (over at their website), so take a look and find out more than even Stephen learned last night.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Rachel Rachel Rachel
Really? You're calling me again? Oh Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. How can I miss you if you won't go away? Or, technically, if you won't stop calling me. It's been less than two weeks since you last called me with your baloney (bologna?) about my Credit Card. This time, according to Caller ID, you actually called from the same number as earlier this month: 503-902-8479. Why is that? You never identify which credit card I have. You say there's no problem but yet it is urgent that I call about eligibility to lower my interest rate.
Oh Rachel of Cardholder Services, please stop calling me. I will not take the bait no matter how many times you call.
If you did not read the post from April 7, here's the link again to FTC Action Puts Robocallers Out of the Telemarketing Business.
Oh Rachel of Cardholder Services, please stop calling me. I will not take the bait no matter how many times you call.
If you did not read the post from April 7, here's the link again to FTC Action Puts Robocallers Out of the Telemarketing Business.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Gateway Hug
Who will be the GOP VP? Stephen explored this question.
First Rick Santorum. In a letter to Iowa voters this week, he wrote, "It truly frightens me to think what'll happen if Mitt Romney is the nominee."
"My friend, Republicans and conservatives will be crippled by a nominee who presents zero contrast with Barack Obama on the major issues of this election."
So Santorum's not the right choice.
Others have called Ron Portman of Ohio the perfect match. But Stephen said that's like the bland leading the bland.
So Portman's not the right choice.
Stephen came up with the best of all worlds - Mitt Romney's shadow. It changes positions every time he does.
Abstinence was on Stephen's mind tonight. It is effective with only one exception: it doesn't work. And so tonight's Word was Gateway Hug. Yes, hugging and kissing, first base and second base, it's all a slippery slope to be avoided. Stephen believes that puberty is a choice and that is the main reason kids have sex. According to him, we should protect what is most precious to us: the belief that abstinence-only education works.
Just a quick note about doomsday preppers (to go along with a TV show of that name). Get a doomsday prepper to be your friend. That way, you can be prepared for doomsday without having to actually do any preparation.
Arianna Huffington was tonight's guest. Where have I heard that name before? I remember, Huffington Post! She won a Pulitzer recently, so she and Stephen "discussed" the merits of Pulitzer vs. Peabody Awards.
After some good natured jokes back and forth, Arianna told Stephen what Huggington Post is all about. "Huffington Post is about right versus wrong." Well, not even Stephen can be against something so noble.
First Rick Santorum. In a letter to Iowa voters this week, he wrote, "It truly frightens me to think what'll happen if Mitt Romney is the nominee."
"My friend, Republicans and conservatives will be crippled by a nominee who presents zero contrast with Barack Obama on the major issues of this election."
So Santorum's not the right choice.
Others have called Ron Portman of Ohio the perfect match. But Stephen said that's like the bland leading the bland.
So Portman's not the right choice.
Stephen came up with the best of all worlds - Mitt Romney's shadow. It changes positions every time he does.
Abstinence was on Stephen's mind tonight. It is effective with only one exception: it doesn't work. And so tonight's Word was Gateway Hug. Yes, hugging and kissing, first base and second base, it's all a slippery slope to be avoided. Stephen believes that puberty is a choice and that is the main reason kids have sex. According to him, we should protect what is most precious to us: the belief that abstinence-only education works.
Just a quick note about doomsday preppers (to go along with a TV show of that name). Get a doomsday prepper to be your friend. That way, you can be prepared for doomsday without having to actually do any preparation.
Arianna Huffington was tonight's guest. Where have I heard that name before? I remember, Huffington Post! She won a Pulitzer recently, so she and Stephen "discussed" the merits of Pulitzer vs. Peabody Awards.
After some good natured jokes back and forth, Arianna told Stephen what Huggington Post is all about. "Huffington Post is about right versus wrong." Well, not even Stephen can be against something so noble.
Where's the BFF?
Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert were Best Friends Forever. Then they were Eternal Enemies for six months.
Shouldn't they be Best Friends Forever by now?
I'm just sayin'.
Shouldn't they be Best Friends Forever by now?
I'm just sayin'.
I'm an Idiot
Just joking. I work hard at being super smart intelligent. Whether that hard work pays off, well....
But speaking of geniuses, Time came out with their Double Issue of "The 100 Most Influential People in the World." I cried for an hour because, yet again, I didn't make the cut.
Guess who did. Do you really need to even think for a moment? Okay, no more suspense.
Stephen Colbert is one of "The 100 Most Influential People in the World." Note that the previous sentence does not have an exclamation mark after it. That is on purpose. It's not a surprise. It's not unexpected. Why wouldn't Stephen make that list? He is the very essence of influence.
He has run for President, of the United States of America no less! He has testified before an actual Congress! He has been the focal point of many rallies! No, no - that sounds wrong. He has been the star of many rallies, yes, that's much better! He has a Super PAC, which is quite easy to accomplish, I agree, but his is the best! He had a Christmas Special! He provided Winter Olympics coverage on NBC! Oh, the list goes on and on! And on!
So, go out and buy Time Magazine for April 30, 2012. His photo is the second one (that is if you believe in counting diagonally from top left corner to bottom right corner like I believe). His name is one of only 15 on the cover, right between Benjamin Netanyahu and Adele. Having your name on the cover makes you more influential than those other 85 who don't have their name on the cover.
I wanted to be sure to let everyone know about this. Stephen is so humble that he probably won't even mention this on the show tonight. Maybe the audience can yell his name when the show starts tonight as sort of a one-time tribute to him.
But speaking of geniuses, Time came out with their Double Issue of "The 100 Most Influential People in the World." I cried for an hour because, yet again, I didn't make the cut.
Guess who did. Do you really need to even think for a moment? Okay, no more suspense.
Stephen Colbert is one of "The 100 Most Influential People in the World." Note that the previous sentence does not have an exclamation mark after it. That is on purpose. It's not a surprise. It's not unexpected. Why wouldn't Stephen make that list? He is the very essence of influence.
He has run for President, of the United States of America no less! He has testified before an actual Congress! He has been the focal point of many rallies! No, no - that sounds wrong. He has been the star of many rallies, yes, that's much better! He has a Super PAC, which is quite easy to accomplish, I agree, but his is the best! He had a Christmas Special! He provided Winter Olympics coverage on NBC! Oh, the list goes on and on! And on!
So, go out and buy Time Magazine for April 30, 2012. His photo is the second one (that is if you believe in counting diagonally from top left corner to bottom right corner like I believe). His name is one of only 15 on the cover, right between Benjamin Netanyahu and Adele. Having your name on the cover makes you more influential than those other 85 who don't have their name on the cover.
I wanted to be sure to let everyone know about this. Stephen is so humble that he probably won't even mention this on the show tonight. Maybe the audience can yell his name when the show starts tonight as sort of a one-time tribute to him.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Boneless Chicken
Stephen started out highlighting the humor of Mitt Romney. He even had a clip of Mitt Romney talking about the funny things they did at their house. Unfortunately, even Mitt admits that kind of stuff "can't be repeated on the air." So I guess we will never know what happened.
Thought For Food
Starbucks has some mighty tasty and very pretty pink beverages. And it is ground up bugs that give it that nice pink color. Vegetarians are upset because they assumed they were getting vegetarian food. I wonder how they can be really upset. It probably isn't a lot of bugs per drink. And don't they eat the occasional bug when they walk around with their mouth open. Even if you are just talking or laughing, a bug can sneak in your open mouth.
Stephen used the example of pizza and hot dogs to illustrate what infinity means. Just think of a pizza stuffed with a hot dog. Then think of a hot dog stuffed with a pizza. Then a pizza stuffed with a hot dog. Keep going on and on. There you have infinity!
Boneless chicken - enough said.
Fox News has uncovered yet another thing that we can all be outraged about. The GSA spent way too much money in Las Vegas. Apparently and contrary to what we have heard, what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.
Are you a creative person? Please say yes. Young children usually are glad to say that they are creative. By the time kids are in high school, most think they are not creative. Stephen's guest, Jonah Ledher discussed creativity and his most recent book, Imagine - How Creativity Works. Fascinating discussion. He encourages day dreaming, relaxing and other more popular techniques to get those creative ideas flowing.
From now on, when you are just sitting around and doing nothing, tell people that you are being creative.
Thought For Food
Starbucks has some mighty tasty and very pretty pink beverages. And it is ground up bugs that give it that nice pink color. Vegetarians are upset because they assumed they were getting vegetarian food. I wonder how they can be really upset. It probably isn't a lot of bugs per drink. And don't they eat the occasional bug when they walk around with their mouth open. Even if you are just talking or laughing, a bug can sneak in your open mouth.
Stephen used the example of pizza and hot dogs to illustrate what infinity means. Just think of a pizza stuffed with a hot dog. Then think of a hot dog stuffed with a pizza. Then a pizza stuffed with a hot dog. Keep going on and on. There you have infinity!
Boneless chicken - enough said.
Fox News has uncovered yet another thing that we can all be outraged about. The GSA spent way too much money in Las Vegas. Apparently and contrary to what we have heard, what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.
Are you a creative person? Please say yes. Young children usually are glad to say that they are creative. By the time kids are in high school, most think they are not creative. Stephen's guest, Jonah Ledher discussed creativity and his most recent book, Imagine - How Creativity Works. Fascinating discussion. He encourages day dreaming, relaxing and other more popular techniques to get those creative ideas flowing.
From now on, when you are just sitting around and doing nothing, tell people that you are being creative.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Right Down the Line
It's the duty of the President of the United States to protect the Secret Service, right? That's what Stephen was wondering about as he told us about what some are calling the worst scandal in Secret Service History. Those photos of assassinated presidents behind Stephen hint to us that maybe Lincoln being shot might have been worse. Wait a minute. It's supposed to be the other way around. The Secret Service protects the President. Time will tell as the investigation continues.
But all kidding aside, it is a serious job to protect the president as well as presidential candidates such as Mitt Romney. There are about 6,500 Secret Service Employees. Originally it was combating counterfeit money that was the mission of the Secret Service. Find out more about what the Secret Service does over at their website.
Stephen talked more about the war on women. (Just keep reading posts here until you have read down through April 10 if you want more information.) I will mention here that if you are a fan of chickens, skip this segment of the show if you watch it later. Stephen had harsh words for a chicken.
Women are special. That's the word from Ann Romney. She knows this because she is a woman. Women are the big prize this year in the election. (I think many of them would be happy to therefore get a prize, but they just have to be content will all the new laws aimed at women.) How can we stop this war on women? One way, and we should have seen this coming, is to turn it around and have a war on husbands. Here's what Michele Bachmann had to say: "One thing I know when women are home full time they probably have a better pulse on the economy than even their husbands." I suppose that's because women at home are spending considerable time reading up on the tax code, trade policies with different countries around the world, mortgage rates as it relates to foreclosures in different regions of the country, job trends for college graduates, and inflation and its effect on investments. Husbands don't know about this, do they?
Bonnie Raitt was the guest tonight. No, sorry, Stephen did not sing along with her when she sang "Right Down the Line" from her latest and 19th album, "Slipstream." You can read more about her over at Wikipedia, and get a bit of an idea about her many accomplishments and awards over at IMDb.
It was obvious that Stephen was a fan of hers. She obviously was a fan of his as this is what she said at the beginning of the interview:
"You make our life worthwhile, Stephen."
But all kidding aside, it is a serious job to protect the president as well as presidential candidates such as Mitt Romney. There are about 6,500 Secret Service Employees. Originally it was combating counterfeit money that was the mission of the Secret Service. Find out more about what the Secret Service does over at their website.
Stephen talked more about the war on women. (Just keep reading posts here until you have read down through April 10 if you want more information.) I will mention here that if you are a fan of chickens, skip this segment of the show if you watch it later. Stephen had harsh words for a chicken.
Women are special. That's the word from Ann Romney. She knows this because she is a woman. Women are the big prize this year in the election. (I think many of them would be happy to therefore get a prize, but they just have to be content will all the new laws aimed at women.) How can we stop this war on women? One way, and we should have seen this coming, is to turn it around and have a war on husbands. Here's what Michele Bachmann had to say: "One thing I know when women are home full time they probably have a better pulse on the economy than even their husbands." I suppose that's because women at home are spending considerable time reading up on the tax code, trade policies with different countries around the world, mortgage rates as it relates to foreclosures in different regions of the country, job trends for college graduates, and inflation and its effect on investments. Husbands don't know about this, do they?
Bonnie Raitt was the guest tonight. No, sorry, Stephen did not sing along with her when she sang "Right Down the Line" from her latest and 19th album, "Slipstream." You can read more about her over at Wikipedia, and get a bit of an idea about her many accomplishments and awards over at IMDb.
It was obvious that Stephen was a fan of hers. She obviously was a fan of his as this is what she said at the beginning of the interview:
"You make our life worthwhile, Stephen."
Working Woman
By now you are probably aware of the "gaffe" recently by Hilary Rosen. Every so often someone says something that gets blown out of proportion. She told Anderson Cooper that Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life.
Two things going on here. It's really a fine distinction between "work" and "job." Nearly everyone works. Even if you win the lottery, you are still going to have to work, namely taking care of all that money, deciding how to spend it, figuring out how to keep everyone else from trying to get their hands on your money. It's a lot of work.
Being a mother, taking care of kids, is "work." Of course it is, you can hire someone to do that job instead of the actual mother and then you would pay that person. Very few people think that mothers don't work. At least once a year there is some sit-com where Dad and Mom switch jobs so that Dad can see how hard the work is. And of course nowadays, we also get to see the reverse. Dad has been staying home taking care of the kids while Mom is working and those two switch so the new modern family shows Mom how difficult taking care of the kids can be.
So, no one is saying that being a Mom means doing no work.
"Job" on the other hand means a more formal designated task. You probably apply for that job. You fill out an application, you provide references, you go to an interview, you decide on an hourly wage or yearly salary. You pay taxes and other fees on the money you make. You can be fired and then worry about food, rent, clothing and health costs.
The whole point of the discussion that Hilary Rosen had with Anderson Cooper was that since Ann Romney had not done the whole job experience thing and since she never had to worry about losing said job, she was not a credible person to be telling Mitt Romney what women are thinking about for economic issues.
I Googled. I admit it. I do that a lot. I found this over at Washington Post. And I found this video clip of Chris Hayes. (There is a short video of Romney and then we go to Chris Hayes for a longer segment. If your back arrow doesn't take you back here, just click a few times.)
The only mistake that Hilary Rosen made was to say "never worked a day in her life" rather than "never had a formal job outside of the home." Whereas people used to ask women if they worked, the politically correct term now is to ask if they work outside of the home.
I have to go now. The kids just poured their soup on the dog and I have to stop them before they get the spray attachment from kitchen sink turned on to "clean up their mess."
Two things going on here. It's really a fine distinction between "work" and "job." Nearly everyone works. Even if you win the lottery, you are still going to have to work, namely taking care of all that money, deciding how to spend it, figuring out how to keep everyone else from trying to get their hands on your money. It's a lot of work.
Being a mother, taking care of kids, is "work." Of course it is, you can hire someone to do that job instead of the actual mother and then you would pay that person. Very few people think that mothers don't work. At least once a year there is some sit-com where Dad and Mom switch jobs so that Dad can see how hard the work is. And of course nowadays, we also get to see the reverse. Dad has been staying home taking care of the kids while Mom is working and those two switch so the new modern family shows Mom how difficult taking care of the kids can be.
So, no one is saying that being a Mom means doing no work.
"Job" on the other hand means a more formal designated task. You probably apply for that job. You fill out an application, you provide references, you go to an interview, you decide on an hourly wage or yearly salary. You pay taxes and other fees on the money you make. You can be fired and then worry about food, rent, clothing and health costs.
The whole point of the discussion that Hilary Rosen had with Anderson Cooper was that since Ann Romney had not done the whole job experience thing and since she never had to worry about losing said job, she was not a credible person to be telling Mitt Romney what women are thinking about for economic issues.
I Googled. I admit it. I do that a lot. I found this over at Washington Post. And I found this video clip of Chris Hayes. (There is a short video of Romney and then we go to Chris Hayes for a longer segment. If your back arrow doesn't take you back here, just click a few times.)
The only mistake that Hilary Rosen made was to say "never worked a day in her life" rather than "never had a formal job outside of the home." Whereas people used to ask women if they worked, the politically correct term now is to ask if they work outside of the home.
I have to go now. The kids just poured their soup on the dog and I have to stop them before they get the spray attachment from kitchen sink turned on to "clean up their mess."
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Hear Ye, Hear Ye
Lights, Cameron, Action. That's right, James Cameron was indeed the guest tonight. And my TV did have the caption when the show started saying Ben Rattray was the guest, so yes I am still curious. Was James Cameron a bonus catch, a better guest because of all the interest about the Titanic for the 100th Anniversary of the night it sank? Or was Ben Rattray suddenly unavailable? It was a good show tonight, but I would like to know about these last minute changes.
But enough about that. Stephen talked a little bit about the war on women. He did not talk much because I don't think he likes war, but he does like women. Everyone does seem to be hopping on the bandwagon on this issue. Even Jon Stewart had a segment on The Daily Show last night about policies about women and similar policies about men. It is about 9:20 into the show here if you want to watch that. I Googled War on Women and found lots of results. Here's one website with ten different examples. After the list of ten examples you will find links to the Sources so you can read more about it. The good news is that horses are still getting the medications they need. If you have time on your hands, Google War on Women and then click on Images. Lots of funny cartoons and posters to see.
Are you aware that the Cold War went on for many years regardless of the temperature? It made no difference if it was cold and snowing or hot and sizzling. Stephen brought up the Cold War because of statements made by Florida Representative Allen West. The Congressman has been hearing things lately (voices in his head???), as in, "I've heard 80 House Democrats are Communist Party Members." Unfortunately, Representative Allen West won't name names. Darn. Interestingly enough, Stephen showed a poll where Congress had a 9% approval rating while "U.S. going Communist" was at 11%. I don't know what that means, but it was interesting.
James Cameron, the man who set the record for going solo to Earth's deepest depths, was interviewed by the world's shallowest man. Stephen said that, I'm just repeating it. The two men discussed things that could have been done to the movie Titanic so that is would have made more money. I agree that those were things that could have been done. But as pertains to making a 2-D movie into a 3-D movie, well, it took a lot of effort. For 14 months, 300 computer artists worked on making every image into a 3-D image. I wonder if it would have been easier to just film the whole thing over again, but maybe James Cameron knows more about movie making than I do.
Mariana Trench - This sounds like a really fun place to go to. And that is where James Cameron went recently. Okay fine, but then it started getting ugly with James Cameron and Stephen each trying to outdo the other in explaining where the Mariana Trench is. "It is in the Pacific Ocean." "It's near Guam." "It's by the Federated States of Micronesia." And then they started calling each other names, ending with, "I'm Canadian,* *." Wow! But of course, Stephen, diplomat that he is, said, "I accept your apology."
It was ten hours for the whole dive in a very small vessel. That means don't drink a lot of iced tea and don't eat beans before the trip down. James Cameron went 500 feet down and then it was dark and he kept going until he was about 36,000 feet down.
What a great place this would be for an amusement park. Why did neither man even think of this? I should get going on my idea. It could be called the "Most Harsh Extreme Environment on Earth Amusement Park." Great idea if I do say so myself.
But enough about that. Stephen talked a little bit about the war on women. He did not talk much because I don't think he likes war, but he does like women. Everyone does seem to be hopping on the bandwagon on this issue. Even Jon Stewart had a segment on The Daily Show last night about policies about women and similar policies about men. It is about 9:20 into the show here if you want to watch that. I Googled War on Women and found lots of results. Here's one website with ten different examples. After the list of ten examples you will find links to the Sources so you can read more about it. The good news is that horses are still getting the medications they need. If you have time on your hands, Google War on Women and then click on Images. Lots of funny cartoons and posters to see.
Are you aware that the Cold War went on for many years regardless of the temperature? It made no difference if it was cold and snowing or hot and sizzling. Stephen brought up the Cold War because of statements made by Florida Representative Allen West. The Congressman has been hearing things lately (voices in his head???), as in, "I've heard 80 House Democrats are Communist Party Members." Unfortunately, Representative Allen West won't name names. Darn. Interestingly enough, Stephen showed a poll where Congress had a 9% approval rating while "U.S. going Communist" was at 11%. I don't know what that means, but it was interesting.
James Cameron, the man who set the record for going solo to Earth's deepest depths, was interviewed by the world's shallowest man. Stephen said that, I'm just repeating it. The two men discussed things that could have been done to the movie Titanic so that is would have made more money. I agree that those were things that could have been done. But as pertains to making a 2-D movie into a 3-D movie, well, it took a lot of effort. For 14 months, 300 computer artists worked on making every image into a 3-D image. I wonder if it would have been easier to just film the whole thing over again, but maybe James Cameron knows more about movie making than I do.
Mariana Trench - This sounds like a really fun place to go to. And that is where James Cameron went recently. Okay fine, but then it started getting ugly with James Cameron and Stephen each trying to outdo the other in explaining where the Mariana Trench is. "It is in the Pacific Ocean." "It's near Guam." "It's by the Federated States of Micronesia." And then they started calling each other names, ending with, "I'm Canadian,* *." Wow! But of course, Stephen, diplomat that he is, said, "I accept your apology."
It was ten hours for the whole dive in a very small vessel. That means don't drink a lot of iced tea and don't eat beans before the trip down. James Cameron went 500 feet down and then it was dark and he kept going until he was about 36,000 feet down.
What a great place this would be for an amusement park. Why did neither man even think of this? I should get going on my idea. It could be called the "Most Harsh Extreme Environment on Earth Amusement Park." Great idea if I do say so myself.
Changes
I just checked over at Colbert Nation and was surprised to see that James Cameron is the Upcoming Guest for tonight. I'm surprised because I had checked earlier this week and thought it was going to be Ben Rattray talking about Change.org.
I imagine there's a good reason for the change in guests. Perhaps someone started a petition to get a different guest. Perhaps someone got sick or was suddenly unavailable. It could be that with the 100th Anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic coming up this Sunday, James Cameron was a more logical guest and they just did some reshuffling. I know James Cameron was recently on vacation. I think he was diving, or something like that. He must be a good swimmer.
Regardless, I'm sure it will be an interesting show tonight. Looking forward to it. Most likely Stephen will have Ben Rattray on some other time soon.
I imagine there's a good reason for the change in guests. Perhaps someone started a petition to get a different guest. Perhaps someone got sick or was suddenly unavailable. It could be that with the 100th Anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic coming up this Sunday, James Cameron was a more logical guest and they just did some reshuffling. I know James Cameron was recently on vacation. I think he was diving, or something like that. He must be a good swimmer.
Regardless, I'm sure it will be an interesting show tonight. Looking forward to it. Most likely Stephen will have Ben Rattray on some other time soon.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Michelle Obama
Stephen dedicated the majority of the show to talking about the military, talking with a military guy, and interviewing First Lady Michelle Obama.
Today is the one-year anniversary of Joining Forces. Most of us would agree that supporting our military members and their families is important. It takes more than just saying that you support them to really make a difference. Joining Forces works in many different ways to make those differences in people's lives. It can be just as simple as neighbors helping neighbors. Is there a family with Dad or Mom serving overseas in your neighborhood? How can you help out? Maybe cutting the grass, shoveling snow in winter, picking up some groceries when you are at the store, or helping out with the kids occasionally.
It can sometimes be difficult to realize that those families are military families, so Stephen came up with the excellent idea of family members wearing military uniforms so that we easily recognize them. That Stephen. Always with those good ideas.
Another good idea - training a Marine to be a pundit. Stephen had Bryan Escobedo, a Marine, in the studio to learn all the ins and outs of being a pundit. Bryan got to sit, briefly, at Stephen's desk. He learned some of Stephen's talking points and learned that talking points don't necessarily have to make sense. Stephen asked Bryan to show fear. "I'm incapable of showing fear." A true Marine! Also they went over the use of statistics, mainly how to make up statistics that are close enough to what people would expect so that they seem believable.
First Lady Michelle Obama was actually on The Colbert Report before she was the First Lady, back when she was campaigning for Barack Obama. Stephen humbly pointed out that she had received the Colbert Bump.
Everyone can do something is the motto of Joining Forces. The First Lady told Stephen some of the reasons why she picked helping our military, along with focusing attention on childhood obesity, as something she wanted to do. She got to meet many military families while campaigning. They move more often than most families. Sometimes families move so often that children change schools ten to twelve times during a parent's military career. Jobs are also a real issue for the spouse of a military individual. Moving as often as they do makes it hard to hold down a job and to get a job in the first place.
Stephen did manage to remind Michelle Obama that he himself had served in Iraq for almost a week and thus considers himself to be military. He also asked if she was going to endorse Barack Obama, and yes she did endorse him for President.
So, go on over to Joining Forces and spend some time looking over the website. There's a lot of information there. You can watch a video of First Lady Michelle Obama talking with one military spouse and saying thanks.
Today is the one-year anniversary of Joining Forces. Most of us would agree that supporting our military members and their families is important. It takes more than just saying that you support them to really make a difference. Joining Forces works in many different ways to make those differences in people's lives. It can be just as simple as neighbors helping neighbors. Is there a family with Dad or Mom serving overseas in your neighborhood? How can you help out? Maybe cutting the grass, shoveling snow in winter, picking up some groceries when you are at the store, or helping out with the kids occasionally.
It can sometimes be difficult to realize that those families are military families, so Stephen came up with the excellent idea of family members wearing military uniforms so that we easily recognize them. That Stephen. Always with those good ideas.
Another good idea - training a Marine to be a pundit. Stephen had Bryan Escobedo, a Marine, in the studio to learn all the ins and outs of being a pundit. Bryan got to sit, briefly, at Stephen's desk. He learned some of Stephen's talking points and learned that talking points don't necessarily have to make sense. Stephen asked Bryan to show fear. "I'm incapable of showing fear." A true Marine! Also they went over the use of statistics, mainly how to make up statistics that are close enough to what people would expect so that they seem believable.
First Lady Michelle Obama was actually on The Colbert Report before she was the First Lady, back when she was campaigning for Barack Obama. Stephen humbly pointed out that she had received the Colbert Bump.
Everyone can do something is the motto of Joining Forces. The First Lady told Stephen some of the reasons why she picked helping our military, along with focusing attention on childhood obesity, as something she wanted to do. She got to meet many military families while campaigning. They move more often than most families. Sometimes families move so often that children change schools ten to twelve times during a parent's military career. Jobs are also a real issue for the spouse of a military individual. Moving as often as they do makes it hard to hold down a job and to get a job in the first place.
Stephen did manage to remind Michelle Obama that he himself had served in Iraq for almost a week and thus considers himself to be military. He also asked if she was going to endorse Barack Obama, and yes she did endorse him for President.
So, go on over to Joining Forces and spend some time looking over the website. There's a lot of information there. You can watch a video of First Lady Michelle Obama talking with one military spouse and saying thanks.
War on Caterpillars
I happened to catch Reince Priebus on TV today. I was channel surfing and saw him on msnbc talking with Thomas Roberts. You can watch it here to see the two of them discussing caterpillars. It's just a little over the 3-minute mark when they start discussing what is actually the war on women, not really caterpillars. It was Reince Priebus that first started the whole caterpillar thing, by the way. They did talk about "family planning" a lot and also about the economy.
Seems like the problem for women, according to Reince Priebus, is the economy. And he should know because, as a conservative man, he feels comfortable speaking for women. Stephen said so last night, so it's true. But, (and I refer you to the previous post for more about this), the economy, family planning, Equal Pay, women's health decisions, ... it's all connected. Having a baby affects your health, your career, your earning potential.
When they talk about women being most concerned about the economy, that perhaps needs clarification. There is the economy in general and of course women are concerned about that. There is also their own personal economy, e.g. paying the rent or mortgage, buying groceries, paying the doctor and dentist bills, buying clothes and other necessities.
Children are expensive and I should know because I was one once upon a time. Having a baby and raising a child costs a lot of money. Having three children is going to cost approximately three times as much. Not exactly, because they can share a bedroom, so not much extra cost there. They can wear hand-me-downs, so that cuts down on some of the clothing cost. But they can't eat hand-me-down food. They can't use hand-me-down braces on their teeth.
If the child goes to day care, that costs money, a lot of money. If Mom is staying home instead of working, that means the income will go down for the family. It puts more pressure on Dad to earn more money to make up the difference. So, decisions on when to have children and how many children to have are key factors in a family's personal economic stability.
So, I hope Reince Priebus will read this and that it will help him understand what that whole war on women is about. It has something to do with women making their own decisions and not having Reince Priebus making those decisions. He should go back to playing with his caterpillars and leave women alone.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
# I Got The Tweets Like Grassley
Of course the big news of the day is that Santorum dropped out.
Enough of that, though, and on to more important stuff. It seems like it's Iowa week over at The Colbert Report. Last night Stephen highlighted Representative Steve King. Tonight he focused on Senator Chuck Grassley. Apparently, Chuck Grassley uses Twitter.
"Constituents askd why i am not outraged at PresO attack on supreme court independence. Bcause Am ppl r not stupid as this x prof of con law"
"Norwalk HS 41students issues STOP Gasprices AfgNistan gaymArriage Iowa economy F16"
"3"
"P"
According to Senator Grassley, "I love Tweeting, but I don't like to type." That makes as much sense as Stephen saying something like, "I love cooking but I hate to chop." Oops. He did say that and then brought out his version of chunky salsa to prove it.
Does anyone know what happens next? You guessed it. Stephen starts tweeting.
"i m so xitEd 2 twt l1ke mY h3ro gr asslee u ess A!!! you ez Ey!!
#IGotTheTweetsLikeGrassley
Caterpillars - who would have thought they would be so important in the upcoming election? Reince Priebus, that's who. Actually, it plays into the whole war on women thing that's going on in politics and helps explain why Obama is at 57% among registered women voters while Romney trails at 38%. And so Stephen introduced a new segment, I mean segwoment called "Lady Heroes." Note: Lady Heroes are all men because conservative men feel comfortable speaking for women, Stephen tells us. After all, it's not a uterYou, it's a uterUs.
Tonight's Lady Hero is from Wisconsin. It's none other than Governor Scott Walker. He just recently repealed the Equal Pay Enforcement Act. But people shouldn't worry all that much because money is more important for men than it is to women. How do we know this? Because Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman says so. However, he could be wrong about that. At some point, he needs to do some research and see if what he is saying is fact or opinion.
"We're Losing Our Minds." Don't worry, I don't mean you. That's the title of the book by tonight's guest, Richard Hersh. Stephen asked what's broken about higher education. I guess you could say the answer is that it needs to be more educational. Students need to read more, write more, do more rigorous study, and push harder. They shouldn't just attend college. I would say he is looking for well-rounded individuals with lofty goals. We have lowered our standards from 30 to 40 years ago.
I don't want to point any fingers at anybody, so I'm not going to even think about the people at the beginning of the show and contrast them with the guest at the end of the show. Also, I would mention that it was really tricky trying to proofread tonight for any spelling errors. Whew!
Enough of that, though, and on to more important stuff. It seems like it's Iowa week over at The Colbert Report. Last night Stephen highlighted Representative Steve King. Tonight he focused on Senator Chuck Grassley. Apparently, Chuck Grassley uses Twitter.
"Constituents askd why i am not outraged at PresO attack on supreme court independence. Bcause Am ppl r not stupid as this x prof of con law"
"Norwalk HS 41students issues STOP Gasprices AfgNistan gaymArriage Iowa economy F16"
"3"
"P"
According to Senator Grassley, "I love Tweeting, but I don't like to type." That makes as much sense as Stephen saying something like, "I love cooking but I hate to chop." Oops. He did say that and then brought out his version of chunky salsa to prove it.
Does anyone know what happens next? You guessed it. Stephen starts tweeting.
"i m so xitEd 2 twt l1ke mY h3ro gr asslee u ess A!!! you ez Ey!!
#IGotTheTweetsLikeGrassley
Caterpillars - who would have thought they would be so important in the upcoming election? Reince Priebus, that's who. Actually, it plays into the whole war on women thing that's going on in politics and helps explain why Obama is at 57% among registered women voters while Romney trails at 38%. And so Stephen introduced a new segment, I mean segwoment called "Lady Heroes." Note: Lady Heroes are all men because conservative men feel comfortable speaking for women, Stephen tells us. After all, it's not a uterYou, it's a uterUs.
Tonight's Lady Hero is from Wisconsin. It's none other than Governor Scott Walker. He just recently repealed the Equal Pay Enforcement Act. But people shouldn't worry all that much because money is more important for men than it is to women. How do we know this? Because Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman says so. However, he could be wrong about that. At some point, he needs to do some research and see if what he is saying is fact or opinion.
"We're Losing Our Minds." Don't worry, I don't mean you. That's the title of the book by tonight's guest, Richard Hersh. Stephen asked what's broken about higher education. I guess you could say the answer is that it needs to be more educational. Students need to read more, write more, do more rigorous study, and push harder. They shouldn't just attend college. I would say he is looking for well-rounded individuals with lofty goals. We have lowered our standards from 30 to 40 years ago.
I don't want to point any fingers at anybody, so I'm not going to even think about the people at the beginning of the show and contrast them with the guest at the end of the show. Also, I would mention that it was really tricky trying to proofread tonight for any spelling errors. Whew!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Run the Film Backwards
Down under in Australia, they are trying to replace the Easter Bunny with the Easter Bilby. Stephen had many reservations about switching from Easter Bunny to Easter Bilby, but the bilby is so cute. (You can see some pictures under the Project Material tab at Easter Bilby.)
It is becoming more and more evident that the General Election season has started. Generally speaking, most people are willing to settle for Mitt Romney for the GOP candidate. That means the next step will be picking a Veep, or Vice Presidential running mate. While I think Stephen Colbert would make a wonderful choice, balancing out Mitt Romney and providing a little bit of contrast, Stephen went with such obvious possibilities as Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan.
Ah, but then he narrowed it down even more for a great choice for "Mr. Right" -- Steve King. That's right, Congressman Steve King from that great corn state of Iowa. Someone is needed to appeal to the groups that Mitt Romney is weak with, e.g. women, Hispanics, African Americans, Evangelical Christians, and Republicans.
You may remember Representative Steve King from Stephen's Congressional Testimony. (You can watch it here.) Stephen might have said things at the Congressional Testimony that were confusing to Rep. King. It had to do with packing or unpacking corn. Which was it? No matter, it just boils down to the fact that Stephen was a corn-packer.
The main reason Stephen thinks that Congressman King would be a good #2 choice on the GOP ticket is for his nuanced critique of Obamacare. "What I've said is that, in every decade, in every state, there has always been babies that were born, lived, and died, and some of them for a long and healthy life, without ever using a dollar worth of health care expenditures."
Stephen agrees with him. "In every state, babies are born all the time who are delivered at home, don't get any vaccinations, never see a dentist, make it through school without ever getting strep throat, or head lice, or pink eye or mono, have perfect vision, never sick as an adult, keep all of their mental faculties and die happily at the age of 110 surrounded by all their loving children who also were born at home and never got vaccinated or sick."
The show tonight just kept getting, I guess you could say, healthier and healthier, for the most part. There were some personal setbacks for Stephen though. He consoled himself by eating huge amounts of Americone Dream because of this woman in what you might call, "When I grow up..." Watch both videos of her and then try it yourself.
Commercial break here and wouldn't you know it? There was a plug for The Colbert Report and a visit by First Lady Michelle Obama coming up this Wednesday.
As if Stephen wasn't humiliated enough already, his guest, Bob Lutz, is 80 years old. Bob Lutz is the former vice chairman of General Motors. He was primarily on the show to plug his new book, "Car Guys vs. Bean Counters - The Battle for the Soul of American Business." After clarifying for Stephen that he is a Car Guy, they had a nice discussion about cars and business and politics.
Now for the humiliation part. Remember, Bob Lutz is 80 years old. Stephen isn't even 50 years old. So, he's a young guy. Not that any of that matters. However, it turns out that Bob Lutz does 40 push-ups each morning. Easy to say, but can he prove it? Duh, yeah. Stephen and Bob both got up off their chairs and started doing push-ups. I was impressed with both of them. I'm not going to say who did the most push-ups. Let's just say Stephen probably consoled himself with more ice cream after the show.
The sign-off included a short tribute to Mike Wallace who died this past weekend.
It is becoming more and more evident that the General Election season has started. Generally speaking, most people are willing to settle for Mitt Romney for the GOP candidate. That means the next step will be picking a Veep, or Vice Presidential running mate. While I think Stephen Colbert would make a wonderful choice, balancing out Mitt Romney and providing a little bit of contrast, Stephen went with such obvious possibilities as Marco Rubio and Paul Ryan.
Ah, but then he narrowed it down even more for a great choice for "Mr. Right" -- Steve King. That's right, Congressman Steve King from that great corn state of Iowa. Someone is needed to appeal to the groups that Mitt Romney is weak with, e.g. women, Hispanics, African Americans, Evangelical Christians, and Republicans.
You may remember Representative Steve King from Stephen's Congressional Testimony. (You can watch it here.) Stephen might have said things at the Congressional Testimony that were confusing to Rep. King. It had to do with packing or unpacking corn. Which was it? No matter, it just boils down to the fact that Stephen was a corn-packer.
The main reason Stephen thinks that Congressman King would be a good #2 choice on the GOP ticket is for his nuanced critique of Obamacare. "What I've said is that, in every decade, in every state, there has always been babies that were born, lived, and died, and some of them for a long and healthy life, without ever using a dollar worth of health care expenditures."
Stephen agrees with him. "In every state, babies are born all the time who are delivered at home, don't get any vaccinations, never see a dentist, make it through school without ever getting strep throat, or head lice, or pink eye or mono, have perfect vision, never sick as an adult, keep all of their mental faculties and die happily at the age of 110 surrounded by all their loving children who also were born at home and never got vaccinated or sick."
The show tonight just kept getting, I guess you could say, healthier and healthier, for the most part. There were some personal setbacks for Stephen though. He consoled himself by eating huge amounts of Americone Dream because of this woman in what you might call, "When I grow up..." Watch both videos of her and then try it yourself.
Commercial break here and wouldn't you know it? There was a plug for The Colbert Report and a visit by First Lady Michelle Obama coming up this Wednesday.
As if Stephen wasn't humiliated enough already, his guest, Bob Lutz, is 80 years old. Bob Lutz is the former vice chairman of General Motors. He was primarily on the show to plug his new book, "Car Guys vs. Bean Counters - The Battle for the Soul of American Business." After clarifying for Stephen that he is a Car Guy, they had a nice discussion about cars and business and politics.
Now for the humiliation part. Remember, Bob Lutz is 80 years old. Stephen isn't even 50 years old. So, he's a young guy. Not that any of that matters. However, it turns out that Bob Lutz does 40 push-ups each morning. Easy to say, but can he prove it? Duh, yeah. Stephen and Bob both got up off their chairs and started doing push-ups. I was impressed with both of them. I'm not going to say who did the most push-ups. Let's just say Stephen probably consoled himself with more ice cream after the show.
The sign-off included a short tribute to Mike Wallace who died this past weekend.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
503-902-8479
Rachel called me. Again. The Caller ID said Pacifictel. She shouldn't be doing this. Here's why:
FTC Action Puts Robocallers Out of the Telemarketing Business.
If you haven't gotten a call from them yet, you can hear what they say. On the FTC website, scroll down to the 7th Paragraph, the one that starts out, "To hear telemarketing sales pitches..." and click on any of those links. It's Credit Card audio 2 that has Rachel on it and she is the one who always calls me.
Every time it's a different number that shows up on Caller ID. And businesses like this don't abide by the Do Not Call List. I haven't read through all this information on the FTC website here, but I plan on reading more of it soon. There are also tips for consumers about dealing with Rachel and all her cohorts.
Hopefully she won't call you anytime soon. If she does, just hang up.
* Update: She called me yet again on April 19.
FTC Action Puts Robocallers Out of the Telemarketing Business.
If you haven't gotten a call from them yet, you can hear what they say. On the FTC website, scroll down to the 7th Paragraph, the one that starts out, "To hear telemarketing sales pitches..." and click on any of those links. It's Credit Card audio 2 that has Rachel on it and she is the one who always calls me.
Every time it's a different number that shows up on Caller ID. And businesses like this don't abide by the Do Not Call List. I haven't read through all this information on the FTC website here, but I plan on reading more of it soon. There are also tips for consumers about dealing with Rachel and all her cohorts.
Hopefully she won't call you anytime soon. If she does, just hang up.
* Update: She called me yet again on April 19.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Today I Was One of Those Jellybeans
Tonight's show started out all sunshine and parades, went downhill, which is actually a good sign, and then was dominated by animals.
Unemployment has been getting better in that there's less of it. Things are looking better than they have for four years. So you would think people would be happy. But over at FOX News, they can take sweetened lemonade and turn it into sour lemons. Or as Stephen said, take a big sunshine dump on our rain parade.
America's Newsroom w/Bill Hemmer & Martha MacCallum is the show. They were all upbeat, even had some good news. Unemployment claims drop to lowest levels since April 2008 was the caption at the bottom of the screen. Weekly Jobless Claims fell to 357,000. And Martha MacCallum said it is the lowest in four years. But why does she look like she is going to cry? Send in Stuart Varney to explain that yes it's good and yes the trend is good, but oh no, oh no, the last four weeks of these last four years the numbers haven't gone down. Is the sky falling? No, it's probably like someone trying to lose weight. The weight goes down and then you hit a plateau for a while and then it goes down again. This seems like easy stuff, I mean, it's not like it's rocket science.
Stephen introduced a new segment on the show tonight: Colbert's Very Wanted. This paragraph is not for the faint at heart. You have been warned. You may be familiar with the Manatee. If you live in Florida, you almost certainly know about them. Well, what could be more natural and decorative than to have a manatee statue to hold your mailbox? And if you have a manatee statue, the natural tendency would of course be to decorate it and dress it up for holidays and special events. It just makes sense. Here comes the bad part: Someone has been vandalizing these manatee mailbox statues. They have been blown up, which is dangerous for sure. Also, the costumes, such as Santa outfit, have been stolen, only to be returned with a note from "The Grinch." Hopefully with Stephen exposing this type of behavior, this person or persons will stop this behavior. It is not good, which therefore means it is bad. Stop it.
I got up early this morning and so I am really tired. I think I fell asleep a bit during the next part of the show. It seems like it was something about Stephen being a Jellybean and Lincoln driving a motorcycle. Well, it wasn't about manatees or wolves, so probably not that important.
Stephen's guest was Anne Rice. She has written a boatload of books including her latest, "The Wolf Gift". She writes about Vampires, Sleeping Beauty, Witches, Mummies, you know, the people next door or down the street. She also has views on religion and she and Stephen talked about religion. (You can read more about Anne Rice here.) Stephen graciously offered his thoughts on what her future might be.
Unemployment has been getting better in that there's less of it. Things are looking better than they have for four years. So you would think people would be happy. But over at FOX News, they can take sweetened lemonade and turn it into sour lemons. Or as Stephen said, take a big sunshine dump on our rain parade.
America's Newsroom w/Bill Hemmer & Martha MacCallum is the show. They were all upbeat, even had some good news. Unemployment claims drop to lowest levels since April 2008 was the caption at the bottom of the screen. Weekly Jobless Claims fell to 357,000. And Martha MacCallum said it is the lowest in four years. But why does she look like she is going to cry? Send in Stuart Varney to explain that yes it's good and yes the trend is good, but oh no, oh no, the last four weeks of these last four years the numbers haven't gone down. Is the sky falling? No, it's probably like someone trying to lose weight. The weight goes down and then you hit a plateau for a while and then it goes down again. This seems like easy stuff, I mean, it's not like it's rocket science.
Stephen introduced a new segment on the show tonight: Colbert's Very Wanted. This paragraph is not for the faint at heart. You have been warned. You may be familiar with the Manatee. If you live in Florida, you almost certainly know about them. Well, what could be more natural and decorative than to have a manatee statue to hold your mailbox? And if you have a manatee statue, the natural tendency would of course be to decorate it and dress it up for holidays and special events. It just makes sense. Here comes the bad part: Someone has been vandalizing these manatee mailbox statues. They have been blown up, which is dangerous for sure. Also, the costumes, such as Santa outfit, have been stolen, only to be returned with a note from "The Grinch." Hopefully with Stephen exposing this type of behavior, this person or persons will stop this behavior. It is not good, which therefore means it is bad. Stop it.
I got up early this morning and so I am really tired. I think I fell asleep a bit during the next part of the show. It seems like it was something about Stephen being a Jellybean and Lincoln driving a motorcycle. Well, it wasn't about manatees or wolves, so probably not that important.
Stephen's guest was Anne Rice. She has written a boatload of books including her latest, "The Wolf Gift". She writes about Vampires, Sleeping Beauty, Witches, Mummies, you know, the people next door or down the street. She also has views on religion and she and Stephen talked about religion. (You can read more about Anne Rice here.) Stephen graciously offered his thoughts on what her future might be.
Joining Forces
Look at this. Michelle Obama will be a guest on The Colbert Report on Wednesday, April 11. That's impressive, but I think when Stephen has such high profile guests on, it makes it that much harder for me to get on the show. What does does a person have to do to get on The Colbert Report? Do you have to be somebody??? Do you have to accomplish something???
But, once Michelle Obama is on The Colbert Report, what will they talk about? Here's what - Joining Forces.
"Joining Forces is a national initiative that mobilizes all sectors of society to give our service members and their families the opportunities and support they have earned."
Spend some time now looking at the Joining Forces website. Then, on April 11 when Michelle Obama talks with Stephen on The Colbert Report, you will already be informed and knowledgeable and maybe even be able to anticipate what questions Stephen will ask. No, wait, I take that back. Being informed and knowledgeable about anything won't really help you predict what's on Stephen's mind.
Mark your calendar and be sure to watch on April 11. It should be interesting and of course, as always, Stephen will manage to somehow include a little humor on his news show.
But, once Michelle Obama is on The Colbert Report, what will they talk about? Here's what - Joining Forces.
"Joining Forces is a national initiative that mobilizes all sectors of society to give our service members and their families the opportunities and support they have earned."
Spend some time now looking at the Joining Forces website. Then, on April 11 when Michelle Obama talks with Stephen on The Colbert Report, you will already be informed and knowledgeable and maybe even be able to anticipate what questions Stephen will ask. No, wait, I take that back. Being informed and knowledgeable about anything won't really help you predict what's on Stephen's mind.
Mark your calendar and be sure to watch on April 11. It should be interesting and of course, as always, Stephen will manage to somehow include a little humor on his news show.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Determined By One Criteria: Excellence
I predicted that Stephen would say the word "Peabody" on tonight's show and he did. I don't know where on his fireplace mantle Stephen will put yet another trophy, but he won the George Foster Peabody Award! That puts him in the same company as the great Dora the Explorer, Sherlock for "A Study in Pink," and The Simpsons. Go look at the George Foster Peabody website for a list of all the winners for this year, for past winners, information on the luncheon, and more, much more. And you can read a bit about the man George Foster Peabody over at Wikipedia.
Stephen was very humble in announcing this award. In fact, of all his superior character traits, his humility is what he is most proud of. He wanted to make note of the fact that he shares this award with members of the Supreme Court. Their ruling on Citizens United made this all possible. And he is especially grateful to all the donors to his Super PAC, people like Harry Balsac, Apoop Mapanz, Suq Madiq and Munchma Quchi.
As you all probably remember, yesterday was primary day in Wisconsin, Maryland and the District of Columbia and Romney got his broom and swept all three races. Just a personal thought here. The wins don't seem to me to be overwhelmingly Romney over Santorum. For example, in Wisconsin it was 42% for Romney to 38% for Santorum. That doesn't seem like a lot to me. But anyway... Many people are now really saying it's over and Romney will be the nominee. McCain said it. Pawlenty said it. Even Stephen gave a rousing speech for Romney, proclaiming, "I settled for it."
As a treat for us, and thanks to us for donating to the Super PAC, Stephen had another ad that he debuted on the show. The Latino and Latina vote will be important in this election and this ad speaks to some of these concern and issues. Let's all remember that Mitt's dad was born in Mexico. This gives Mitt a real connection with our neighbors to the south as well as Americans of Mexican descent. It's a neat ad, especially because it has a really cute little dog in it. Oooh, cute doggie.
Oatmeal. I don't know how to easily go from dogs to oatmeal, so I'll just say Oatmeal again. Larry has gotten a haircut and shed a few pounds. Who is Larry? Apparently that is the name of that guy on the Quaker Oatmeal round box. I had heard that he had a more updated look, but until Stephen had side by side comparison of the before and after images of Larry on the Oatmeal boxes, I had no idea how radical the change was. The difference is almost like night and midnight. It is that drastic. This is going to double or triple how much Quaker Oatmeal is sold, I just know it.
(Interesting bit of trivia. If you do go to the Quaker Oats website and look at FAQs, you will see that one of the founders of the company was a man by the name of John Stuart.)
Tonight's guest was Robert Ballard, National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence. Okay, right there I can't help but be a little bit, well, skeptical. An Explorer? In Residence?? Sounds like he's going to sit on his duff and yet somehow be able to explore the world? Neat gig if you can get it.
Fine, whatever. He was on the show to promote "Save the Titanic With Bob Ballard" to be aired Monday, April 9 at 10:00 pm Eastern. (Check local listings in your area.) Did you know that April 15, at 2:20 in the morning Newfoundland time will be the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking? Did you know that Robert Ballard found the Titanic? Did you know he was actually secretly looking for the USS Scorpion and the USS Thresher submarines? Lots of interesting stuff! You can also read more over at Wikipedia about Robert Ballard.
Stephen and Robert Ballard went on to talk more about the Titanic. The way he found the ship was to look for a debris trail, sort of like following footprints. It lead him right to the Titanic. He lamented that the ship is getting loved to death. People are making trips down to see it, probably helping themselves to souvenirs, even getting married there which seems to be a little overboard. Robert Ballard says he would like to paint the Titanic to help stop corrosion. It's now possible to paint ships underwater!!!! Stephen then got a really super idea. Robert Ballard could start painting the ship and say what fun it was. In no time at all, he would have other people doing all the work.
In watching the show tonight and thinking about the Titanic, as well as other ships that have gone down, such as the SS Edmund Fitzgerald or the SS Andrea Doria, I wondered about all the people that built those ships. They surely had a lot of pride in building those ships. And they also most likely never thought the ships would be lost at sea along with all the people on board.
Stephen was very humble in announcing this award. In fact, of all his superior character traits, his humility is what he is most proud of. He wanted to make note of the fact that he shares this award with members of the Supreme Court. Their ruling on Citizens United made this all possible. And he is especially grateful to all the donors to his Super PAC, people like Harry Balsac, Apoop Mapanz, Suq Madiq and Munchma Quchi.
As you all probably remember, yesterday was primary day in Wisconsin, Maryland and the District of Columbia and Romney got his broom and swept all three races. Just a personal thought here. The wins don't seem to me to be overwhelmingly Romney over Santorum. For example, in Wisconsin it was 42% for Romney to 38% for Santorum. That doesn't seem like a lot to me. But anyway... Many people are now really saying it's over and Romney will be the nominee. McCain said it. Pawlenty said it. Even Stephen gave a rousing speech for Romney, proclaiming, "I settled for it."
As a treat for us, and thanks to us for donating to the Super PAC, Stephen had another ad that he debuted on the show. The Latino and Latina vote will be important in this election and this ad speaks to some of these concern and issues. Let's all remember that Mitt's dad was born in Mexico. This gives Mitt a real connection with our neighbors to the south as well as Americans of Mexican descent. It's a neat ad, especially because it has a really cute little dog in it. Oooh, cute doggie.
Oatmeal. I don't know how to easily go from dogs to oatmeal, so I'll just say Oatmeal again. Larry has gotten a haircut and shed a few pounds. Who is Larry? Apparently that is the name of that guy on the Quaker Oatmeal round box. I had heard that he had a more updated look, but until Stephen had side by side comparison of the before and after images of Larry on the Oatmeal boxes, I had no idea how radical the change was. The difference is almost like night and midnight. It is that drastic. This is going to double or triple how much Quaker Oatmeal is sold, I just know it.
(Interesting bit of trivia. If you do go to the Quaker Oats website and look at FAQs, you will see that one of the founders of the company was a man by the name of John Stuart.)
Tonight's guest was Robert Ballard, National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence. Okay, right there I can't help but be a little bit, well, skeptical. An Explorer? In Residence?? Sounds like he's going to sit on his duff and yet somehow be able to explore the world? Neat gig if you can get it.
Fine, whatever. He was on the show to promote "Save the Titanic With Bob Ballard" to be aired Monday, April 9 at 10:00 pm Eastern. (Check local listings in your area.) Did you know that April 15, at 2:20 in the morning Newfoundland time will be the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking? Did you know that Robert Ballard found the Titanic? Did you know he was actually secretly looking for the USS Scorpion and the USS Thresher submarines? Lots of interesting stuff! You can also read more over at Wikipedia about Robert Ballard.
Stephen and Robert Ballard went on to talk more about the Titanic. The way he found the ship was to look for a debris trail, sort of like following footprints. It lead him right to the Titanic. He lamented that the ship is getting loved to death. People are making trips down to see it, probably helping themselves to souvenirs, even getting married there which seems to be a little overboard. Robert Ballard says he would like to paint the Titanic to help stop corrosion. It's now possible to paint ships underwater!!!! Stephen then got a really super idea. Robert Ballard could start painting the ship and say what fun it was. In no time at all, he would have other people doing all the work.
In watching the show tonight and thinking about the Titanic, as well as other ships that have gone down, such as the SS Edmund Fitzgerald or the SS Andrea Doria, I wondered about all the people that built those ships. They surely had a lot of pride in building those ships. And they also most likely never thought the ships would be lost at sea along with all the people on board.
I Predict
I predict that Stephen will say the word
"Peabody"
on the show tonight. Tune in and watch him or check back here in about six hours to see if I can predict the future.
"Peabody"
on the show tonight. Tune in and watch him or check back here in about six hours to see if I can predict the future.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Magic Piece of Paper
After quick apology, Stephen reminded us of how the kids just love hearing about election law. I personally can't think of anything more exciting!
Have you gotten your Super Fun Pack yet? Just go to the Colbert Super PAC and order it for a mere $99. Supplies are limited. Along with written instructions and an Allen wrench, Stephen added a few more things to the box. You also will get an exclusive button (more about that later) and a Certificate of Presidential Presidenthood signed by Stephen Colbert and Ham Rove. You get the Treasure Map and if you crack the code and find the treasure, your college will get a visit from Stephen as part of his book tour. (Stephen's note to self: Write book.)
In addition to the Colbert Super PAC, Stephen also has a Super PAC that is even more secretive. It's his Colbert Super PAC Shh! (So called because it can raise Shheesh a load of money.) It never has to disclose its donors because it's a quasi charitable organization called a 501 c4. Now, critics say groups like that are unregistered money guns shooting up the election with untraceable political slush funds. To which Stephen smiles and says, "Uh huh."
But a district judge says that 501 c4's must disclose their donors. This created a bit of a problem for Stephen because he assumed that some banks don't require their donors to be revealed and now he has a ton of phone calls to make but back to election law.
Friend of the show and Stephen's personal lawyer Trevor Potter showed up to give legal advice. It seems there's a bit of gray area with the IRS and social welfare groups and political organizations. Every time Stephen gets into a legal scrape, Trevor Potter brings his briefcase and pulls out a magical piece of paper to help Stephen. Not tonight. No magical piece of paper. With good reason though. The good news is that Stephen doesn't have to file anything with the IRS until after the election.
Or, as Stephen so comically puts it, until it doesn't matter any more. "Everything's cool as long as we don't tell them?" asked Stephen. "Right, as long as they're not watching tonight."
Oops. Stephen said, "That's okay, we'll edit all this stuff out of tonight's show."
Now for the "exclusive button" that I mentioned earlier. Stephen had his briefcase with him and took out a magical piece of paper with five things written on it. These are the five things the button will say when you press it. That's right, it's one of those big red buttons that we often see Stephen use on the show. Just press it and it responds. So, Stephen had Trevor Potter read the five things that your button (should you decide to get a Super Fun Pack) will say. Here goes:
1. I was hoping you wouldn't ask that because the answer is yes.
2. I'm not entirely certain if that's legal but it would make for an interesting appeals process.
3. If I were your lawyer, I'd advise against it, but I'm a button so go nuts.
4. Well, everything's legal somewhere.
5. Every time you press this button I'm billing you 200 bucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonight is primary night in Wisconsin, Maryland and D.C. Mitt Romney is expected to do well. Rick Santorum won't quit because God does not approve of pulling out. Stephen had a video clip of Santorum talking about California and U.S. History. Here's what Rick Santorum said:
"I was just reading something last night that from the state of California and at the California Universities there, there, it's several, I think it's seven or eight of the California system of Universities don't even teach an American History course, it's not even available to be taught."
Stephen agreed that was an outrage and the only thing that would be more outrageous is if this is true.
All the schools in the California State system and all but one in the UC system do actually offer degrees in History! Stephen even had a clip of local news in California explaining it and a bit of a magic reference by Dr. Nancy Thompson wondering where Santorum got that information. Oh, that school that doesn't offer history? It's San Francisco and it's a medical school.
So Stephen got that all straightened out and sent his wishes for continued good health for Rick Santorum, especially for the California Primary on June 5.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then just briefly, a little bit about tonight's guest. It was Nikki Haley, Governor of Stephen's home state of South Carolina and author of the book, "Can't is Not an Option - My American Story." She is the daughter of parents who came here from India with only $8 in hand. That's because you were only allowed to bring $8. (Interesting.) She also brought Stephen a signed football helmet and then the two Southerners had a quiz-off on South Carolina trivia. You can find out for yourself what the state bird and state amphibian are here and the state drink and state snack here. (I think this is important stuff and everyone should memorize it.)
Stephen called the Governor an anchor baby, but then flattered her by asking, since she endorsed Mitt Romney, if she would consider being the vice president candidate with Romney. When she said no, he reminded her, "Hey, hey. Can't is Not an Option!"
Have you gotten your Super Fun Pack yet? Just go to the Colbert Super PAC and order it for a mere $99. Supplies are limited. Along with written instructions and an Allen wrench, Stephen added a few more things to the box. You also will get an exclusive button (more about that later) and a Certificate of Presidential Presidenthood signed by Stephen Colbert and Ham Rove. You get the Treasure Map and if you crack the code and find the treasure, your college will get a visit from Stephen as part of his book tour. (Stephen's note to self: Write book.)
In addition to the Colbert Super PAC, Stephen also has a Super PAC that is even more secretive. It's his Colbert Super PAC Shh! (So called because it can raise Shheesh a load of money.) It never has to disclose its donors because it's a quasi charitable organization called a 501 c4. Now, critics say groups like that are unregistered money guns shooting up the election with untraceable political slush funds. To which Stephen smiles and says, "Uh huh."
But a district judge says that 501 c4's must disclose their donors. This created a bit of a problem for Stephen because he assumed that some banks don't require their donors to be revealed and now he has a ton of phone calls to make but back to election law.
Friend of the show and Stephen's personal lawyer Trevor Potter showed up to give legal advice. It seems there's a bit of gray area with the IRS and social welfare groups and political organizations. Every time Stephen gets into a legal scrape, Trevor Potter brings his briefcase and pulls out a magical piece of paper to help Stephen. Not tonight. No magical piece of paper. With good reason though. The good news is that Stephen doesn't have to file anything with the IRS until after the election.
Or, as Stephen so comically puts it, until it doesn't matter any more. "Everything's cool as long as we don't tell them?" asked Stephen. "Right, as long as they're not watching tonight."
Oops. Stephen said, "That's okay, we'll edit all this stuff out of tonight's show."
Now for the "exclusive button" that I mentioned earlier. Stephen had his briefcase with him and took out a magical piece of paper with five things written on it. These are the five things the button will say when you press it. That's right, it's one of those big red buttons that we often see Stephen use on the show. Just press it and it responds. So, Stephen had Trevor Potter read the five things that your button (should you decide to get a Super Fun Pack) will say. Here goes:
1. I was hoping you wouldn't ask that because the answer is yes.
2. I'm not entirely certain if that's legal but it would make for an interesting appeals process.
3. If I were your lawyer, I'd advise against it, but I'm a button so go nuts.
4. Well, everything's legal somewhere.
5. Every time you press this button I'm billing you 200 bucks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonight is primary night in Wisconsin, Maryland and D.C. Mitt Romney is expected to do well. Rick Santorum won't quit because God does not approve of pulling out. Stephen had a video clip of Santorum talking about California and U.S. History. Here's what Rick Santorum said:
"I was just reading something last night that from the state of California and at the California Universities there, there, it's several, I think it's seven or eight of the California system of Universities don't even teach an American History course, it's not even available to be taught."
Stephen agreed that was an outrage and the only thing that would be more outrageous is if this is true.
All the schools in the California State system and all but one in the UC system do actually offer degrees in History! Stephen even had a clip of local news in California explaining it and a bit of a magic reference by Dr. Nancy Thompson wondering where Santorum got that information. Oh, that school that doesn't offer history? It's San Francisco and it's a medical school.
So Stephen got that all straightened out and sent his wishes for continued good health for Rick Santorum, especially for the California Primary on June 5.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And then just briefly, a little bit about tonight's guest. It was Nikki Haley, Governor of Stephen's home state of South Carolina and author of the book, "Can't is Not an Option - My American Story." She is the daughter of parents who came here from India with only $8 in hand. That's because you were only allowed to bring $8. (Interesting.) She also brought Stephen a signed football helmet and then the two Southerners had a quiz-off on South Carolina trivia. You can find out for yourself what the state bird and state amphibian are here and the state drink and state snack here. (I think this is important stuff and everyone should memorize it.)
Stephen called the Governor an anchor baby, but then flattered her by asking, since she endorsed Mitt Romney, if she would consider being the vice president candidate with Romney. When she said no, he reminded her, "Hey, hey. Can't is Not an Option!"
Monday, April 2, 2012
Karf Fnarglezox
You will need a Secret Decoder Ring to find out what Karf Fnarglezox means. And you are in luck because you can get a Secret Decoder Ring in the Super Fun Pack that you order from the Colbert Super PAC. Be sure to read the newsletter. It has more details. For a mere $99 you can get a box, an actual green box with instructions for starting your own Super PAC. And you get the ring and a beautiful green "Turtles Don't Like Peanut Butter" t-shirt. And you get a treasure map. With this treasure map you can find the treasure. Whoever finds the treasure will get a visit to the American University of their choice from none other than the actual Stephen Colbert. And I found out tonight you also get a 1-pound Karl Rove Hamlet so that you can get strategic political advice right up until the election (or until you get the munchies and eat the ham). It has all the brains of Karl Rove but with half the sodium. So what are you waiting for? Already 400 college students have ordered Super Fun Packs.
Tonight Stephen rolled out a treat for us - Yahweh or No Way. First up was Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians. Now I must admit that when I was young, I would do this. I would always count the cards in the deck to make sure there were 52 cards plus the jokers. Apparently, it is somewhat more sophisticated than that in Las Vegas. (Next up was the Pope, but he got No Way because Stephen didn't think the Pope needed his own personal cologne in order to impress the ladies.)
Tonight's guest as Gary Johnson. Now, I'm pretty sure there are a lot of Gary Johnson's out there, so this is the one who was governor of New Mexico and is running for president on the Libertarian ticket. The Libertarian Party Convention will be in Las Vegas from May 2 through May 6. I'm wondering if the Libertarians will meet any of the Christian Card Counters when they are in Las Vegas. Gary Johnson was at first running to get the Republican nomination for president. But due to many factors, that did not work out well, so he switched parties. It seems like that would be quite a switch for someone, but these things do happen.
One note of caution to anyone who uses computers. Do not use Karf Fnarglezox for a password. Those two words have now become very common and thus not good passwords. Use this instead:
Xozelgranf Frak.
Tonight Stephen rolled out a treat for us - Yahweh or No Way. First up was Holy Rollers: The True Story of Card Counting Christians. Now I must admit that when I was young, I would do this. I would always count the cards in the deck to make sure there were 52 cards plus the jokers. Apparently, it is somewhat more sophisticated than that in Las Vegas. (Next up was the Pope, but he got No Way because Stephen didn't think the Pope needed his own personal cologne in order to impress the ladies.)
Tonight's guest as Gary Johnson. Now, I'm pretty sure there are a lot of Gary Johnson's out there, so this is the one who was governor of New Mexico and is running for president on the Libertarian ticket. The Libertarian Party Convention will be in Las Vegas from May 2 through May 6. I'm wondering if the Libertarians will meet any of the Christian Card Counters when they are in Las Vegas. Gary Johnson was at first running to get the Republican nomination for president. But due to many factors, that did not work out well, so he switched parties. It seems like that would be quite a switch for someone, but these things do happen.
One note of caution to anyone who uses computers. Do not use Karf Fnarglezox for a password. Those two words have now become very common and thus not good passwords. Use this instead:
Xozelgranf Frak.
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