I'm Doing It

"Nation, I have a major announcement to make. For over a day now the people of South Carolina have been crying out for someone who can restore our Nation's greatness to its current perfection. Well, America, that someone is now. I am proud to announce that I am forming an exploratory committee to lay the groundwork for my possible candidacy for the President of the United States of South Carolina.

"I'M DOING IT! AND WITH YOUR HELP AND POSSIBLY THE HELP OF SOME SORT OF OUTSIDE GROUP THAT I AM NOT COORDINATING WITH, WE CAN EXPLORE TAKING THIS COUNTRY BACK. THANK YOU. GOD BESS YOU ALL. AND GOD BLESS CITIZENS UNITED."

Balloons all over and the audience went crazy.

Stephen promised a major decision tonight and he did not disappoint.

But first I should tell you what went on at the beginning of the show, before this major decision. After showing a webcam video of himself exercising and pointing out his stylish gold curlicue toe slippers, Stephen talked about the various Super PACs that candidates have. No, wait - that's wrong. What I mean to say is that candidates do not have Super PACs. That would be illegal. He talked about the Super PACs that support, but do not coordinate with, the candidates.

Mitt Romney benefits from Restore Our Future which was started by Romney's lawyer, Charles R. Spies.

Newt Gingrich benefits from Winning Our Future which is run by Newt's former staffer Becky Burkett.

Rick Perry (Parry) benefits from Make us Great Again started by Mike Toomey, who once was Governor Perry's (Parry') chief of staff AND co-owner of a resort island with Dave Carney, chief strategist for the Perry (Parry) campaign.

So, that brought about a difficult decision for Stephen. He was joined by friend of the show, Trevor Potter. All he wanted was a simple answer to this question: "Can I run for president and keep my Super PAC?"

"No." There you have it, a simple answer from Trevor Potter for Stephen.

If you did not see the show tonight, you may want to head over to Colbert Nation tomorrow and watch it. It is fascinating because of all the ins and outs of the legal system as it pertains to election law. Plus there seemed to be some magic that happened.

Long story short, Jon Stewart will be taking over as head of the Colbert Super PAC, he will still get to retain all the staff currently working for the PAC, and the Super PAC can now, legally, run ads for Stephen and attacking potential opponents.

All they need to do is to make sure that Jon (and staff) doesn't coordinate with Stephen.

For fans of crossword puzzles, there was a segment about Will Shortz. Stephen was a clue in the New York Times crossword puzzle back in October of 2010, so he most likely has a warm spot in his heart for crossword puzzles.

Tonight's guest was Mike Allen of Politico which was quite appropriate for such an important show. Even as the two men were shaking hands, Mike told Stephen that Politico had a story about Stephen's candidacy already posted on Politico. That is so impressive. It's like they just wait for news to happen and then write about it right away!

Mike Allen recently wrote the eBook, "The Right Fights Back," which is available for $2.99.