Merry Christmas

Christmas is what you make of it, so make it the day you want it to be. Merry Christmas!

Hearing Problems

I think that I will be able to read about Stephen in the coming months, even though he is not schooling us anymore. I found this by Sophia A. McClennen over at Salon and at first I thought it was about people with hearing problems because of the photo. After all, both men have a bit of trouble with their ears as we all know. But after I read the article, I realized it was about politics and democracy and freedom, all that Americanish type of stuff.

However, I thought again and wondered if it still isn't about hearing. Can it be that Rush hears things and they get all garbled in his head and come out of his mouth that garbled way? We will have to figure it out on our own. Just imagine what Stephen would have said and it will all become clear.

Don't Know When

I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but, well, you know me. Stephen let us down easy. He reminded us of all the good times. And all the good people.

So, I have hope for the future. I didn't get that book written, therefore I never got to be a guest on the show. But I know that I can start that book any day and I will send it to Stephen when it is finished. And we could just meet for coffee and discuss it and that would be good enough for me.

Spoiler Alert - Stephen's Last Show

We have all been spoiled for too long. We have to get used to life without the The Colbert Report. It won't be easy, but the sooner we all face up to it, the better it will be. We can get through this if we all hang in together.

As far as what the show will be tonight... I don't know. Will it be a huge extravaganza with all sorts of guests and tributes? Will it be a quiet Mr Rogers type of conversation with the Colbert Nation? Will it be a tremendous joke on all of us as we find out that he's not really ending the show?

I will know soon enough. It is one of those situations just like waiting for Christmas. It seems like it will never get here. It is always in the future. And then. It happens. It happened. It's over with. An empty place in your heart.

Move on. Keep going. Head up high.

We all love you Stephen.

This Is It, Stephen's Last Week

How will we all cope? I have been worrying about just that all these many days. Granted I have gotten lots of stuff done while I have been not writing here. Has Stephen noticed? Won't he be bored without his show? I know he did audition one guy to take over for him, but that guy still has a day job for two more years.

Sigh.

Music Soothes the Savage Beast

Well now, I'm not one to go pointing out mistakes that Stephen makes on the show. So here I go.

Stephen, you said beast, but you should have said breast. I can only assume that saying the correct word would make you blush and thus you substituted a different word. Yes, I know. Lots of people make the same mistake. And maybe that's why you said it because people do say it all the time. So technically, Stephen, you were right. People do say that music soothes the savage beast. But if you want to know the history behind it, just check good old Wikipedia and read about the Famous Lines of William Congreve.

Who knows, maybe someday that will be the one tidbit of information you need to win big bucks in some TV game show. Good luck with that.

Vote Today

If you do nothing else today, for goodness sakes, VOTE.

Stephen will be having live coverage tonight, so do not disappoint him.

Scrabble

In my house, with my Scrabble game, "truthiness" is always a word.

P.K. Winsome

I guess the whole "end is in sight" of the The Colbert Report is really affecting me. I try to continue on normally as if nothing is going to change. But I'm sad. So sad I can barely write anything. Woe is me.

Last night Stephen was honored to have P.K. Winsome on the show - maybe for the last time. But it got me to thinking. What could the future hold for all of us? Well not for Stephen, he's got that pretty well figured out.

All those people that work for and with Stephen. All those guests. All those experts that he has had on the show. And all those interns. I'm looking at you, Jay.

My mind just starts whirring and whirling. Perhaps we are seeing hints of future shows for this time slot. Here's one idea. It's free, Stephen, so run with it.

Hire P.K. Winsome to have sort of a shopping/auction/charity show. All that stuff on the set, all those awards, all of that memorabilia, needs to go somewhere. Auction it off! Every night (Monday through Thursday) P. K. Winsome can have a guest on and the two of them will talk about two or three items from the set of The Colbert Report. Fans of the show can bid on the items. The revenue can go to one or some of Stephen's favorite charities, or it could go to Jay the Intern who has worked for all these many years as an unpaid employee.

What do you think?

Just Kidding, But Seriously

Stephen is counting down which saddens me. He's at 79 last time I looked. It's depressing to think that one day there will be a bunch of stuff to report but no Report. Sigh.

Perhaps that is why his guest on last Thursday was Jay Carney, someone who is stepping down from his job. Is it to get us used to the idea that we will have to get our news information from a different source in the White House and soon on Comedy Central?

Unless Comedy Central comes up with another news show, that will leave us with only 30 minutes a night (Monday through Thursday, check your local listings) of news from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. The 24 hour news stations could learn something from Comedy Central. Yes, "Comedy" is in their name and yet they are able to devote some time to breaking news stories. You'd think the big news corporations would see the value of diversification and perhaps have a half hour per night of comedy. Seems only fair to me.

Special message from me to Jay the Intern. "Yo."

Good luck to Josh Earnest.

Time for Farming

Farming season is here and I am busy up to my gills. Whew. I also have some major projects to accomplish. And I have been traveling.

Plus I have been contemplating what will happen when (gasp) Stephen takes over for David Letterman. I am still trying to adjust to that. Surely there can't be a The Colbert Report if Stephen Colbert is not there to do it.

What will be my job after he moves on? I have been giving some thought to that. I have been able to function day by day without writing here. (In fact, it has been nice sometimes. Kind of like deciding to not do a homework assignment.)

But time will tell what happens here.

Stay tuned. I doubt that I will become completely silent.

bing bing bing bing bing bing..... Sting!

"I do not envy whoever they try to put in that chair." So said Stephen (way last week) about the retirement of late night TV host David Letterman.

As you may know, I get nearly all my news from Stephen Colbert, so it was a shock to learn that Dave is retiring. And yes, I can't imagine who they will get to replace him. Stephen has been on vacation this week, so there was virtually no way for me to find out if CBS has found a replacement yet. (I don't know, maybe I should have looked at some other news shows or read a newspaper, just in case there was any important info.) This retirement announcement does make me sad. Although I don't watch Dave as much as I watch Stephen, I have sort of a routine at night. I get my news from Stephen and then flip over to CBS sometimes to see what Dave is talking about. Somehow I'll get used to this change in some of my late night viewing habits.

Stephen talked about Botox which is being used to treat depression, but one of the side effects can be sadness, so, duh? Prescott Pharmaceuticals has better products, Vacsa-Meh and Vac Daniels.

Stephen and Bill O'Reilly have a Mutual Appreciation Society going on. Said Stephen, "I admire Bill and so does he." But Bill has a problem with equality or inequality or something like that. He says no one is equal to anyone else. (Wow, didn't he read the Declaration of Independence, the part about "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal," ?) Anyway, Stephen had many examples to share about Bill O"Reilly and explained that he "agrees with every word Papa Bear says, even if the words he (Bill) says don't agree with each other." Papa Bear has many words to explain the ways of the world: Bing bing bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.)

Sting, who has had a musical career stretching, what, about 70 years or so, was on the show to talk about and sing about The Last Ship. I think the song sounds exactly how a song about the "last ship" should sound. Good job Sting.

Executive Leadership Skills

I sort of feel like there's not really that much happening lately. Of course there is always news, but nothing that really jumps out and grabs everyone's attention. Oh, well.

There is the Heartbleed cyber attack on computers. I don't even want to talk about it much in case that would be how my computer catches it. And for sure I'm not putting up a link because I don't know if it is safe or not. Yikes.

Andrew Sullivan, author of The Dish, was on to hash it out with Stephen about various matters as it pertains to Gay Rights. He was actually quite civil and cordial and it took Stephen by surprise.

Sheryl Sandberg was Stephen's guest last night to talk about her new book, "Lean in" and also to talk about the importance of encouraging young girls to be all they can be.

So, maybe there will be some news that hits the media waves soon, but for now, not that much happening.

Where in the World is Ukraine

Some Americans do not know where Ukraine is. Actually a lot don't know. According to one survey, only about 1 in 6 (16 percent) could put the mark in Ukraine on a map of the world. Of course, readers of this blog would do much better because they are most certainly smart and also because people from all over the world, including Ukraine, read this blog.

Some people say that "enhanced interrogation" is a great way to get information. Others say that we got little information that was useful.

But here's what Newt Gingrich had to say back in February: "Anybody who's seen Oh Dark Thirty knows that there are pretty good arguments that those interrogations gave us a lot of intelligence information..."

Jane Goodall stopped over to chat with Stephen and to encourage him to let out his inner chimp. He did it well. It was a wonderful interview and rather than detail it here, go watch the show online if you did not see it or check out some links here, or here, or here.

Always Have Been ... 2/3 or 3/5? What...

John Ellis Bush (Jeb) shot himself in the foot, figuratively not literally, by appearing to have a soft place in his heart for some illegal immigrants. The New York Times is printing some divorce announcements in order to, I guess, provide equal time with marriage announcements. Alaska is not in favor of using drones for hunting. Mazda is recalling vehicles because spiders spin webs in the car and that could cause fire problems.

Here's how I would solve one of those problems. Alaska should consent to having drones hunt spiders in Mazdas. Hunters, drones, Mazdas and to a lesser degree, spiders will thank me.

Mitch McConnell. Okay, I'm going to say it. Look at his name. He is using MM, cC, nn, and ll to spell his name. No wonder all the youngsters today are just using 140 characters to write stuff. Mitch McConnell is hogging letters, using them twice when he could get by just using them once. Well, I'll admit he probably does need an M for Mitch and an M for McConnell, but he is being a bit selfish with the rest of the letters. He could just spell it Mconel, right?

Anyway, his primary opponent, Matt Bevin, got pecked by Stephen for speaking at a controversial event. In his defense, he didn't know what he was doing. Stephen explained it well. Also, people did it in the past, so it's patriotic. "I mean the Founding Fathers were all, many of them, very actively involved in this and always have been."

Great. I solved one problem in this post. Now Matt Bevin has created one. Just imagine those illegal immigrants coming here and they decide to learn English. They listen to what Matt Bevin said and try to learn from it. They learn that "all" and "many of them" can be used interchangeably. They learn that people who lived more than 200 years ago may have done something in the past but they continue to do it even now. No wonder people have a hard time learning the English language. They are listening to Americans speak it.

Stephen interviewed Edward Frenkel, Professor of Math at Berkely, and it got somewhat steamy. I won't go into detail because I do not have any photos. You know what I mean. Although they talked about a lot of stuff, including Edward Frenkel's book, "Love and Math - the Heart of Hidden Reality," let's just summarize by saying that if you love Stephen Colbert, and we all do, then you should love math. I only wish Stephen could have had Edward Frenkel on the show on 3/14. They could have shared a nice apple pi.

Bill O'Reilly is No Einstein

There have now been at least 200 Holy Grails found, but Stephen found the original actual real one. He drank from it and other than burning his tongue, nothing happened, so he will live forever. Yea!

Bill O'Reilly is the first one to admit his own flaws. He is a weakling compared to Shaq O'Neal, who is, according to Bill O'Reilly 'bigger and stronger than I am by nature." He's also no Einstein, no Mozart or no Mother Teresa. Did anyone else wonder what he meant by the phrase "by nature?" Stephen went on to complete Bill O'Reilly's list by comparing him to other people and objects. I never realized before how many people and things Bill O'Reilly isn't.

Basically, it seems as if Bill O'Reilly is not in favor of equality. Of course, the presence of equality is very different than the absence of inequality. But again I remind you that Bill O'Reilly admits he is no Einstein, so that probably is the reason for the confusion on Bill's part.

Stephen's guest last Thursday was Mark Mazzetti, winner of the Pulitzer Prize and New York Times security correspondent. He and Stephen talked about Mark Mazzetti's new book, "The Way of the Knife - The CIA, a Secret Army, and a War at the Ends of the Earth."

10% Happier

Last night Stephen talked about Climate Change and how Tennessee plans on executing prisoners on death row.

So it was with much relief that his guest was Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier" How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works -- A True Story.

Reading that title meant that Stephen had almost no time left for the interview. But Dan Harris did tell Stephen and the audience members how to meditate.

1. Sit with your spine straight.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Concentrate on your breathing.

I always had trouble meditating. I would worry about all the things we worry about. Dan Harris talked about that. If your mind starts wandering, bring it back to just concentrating on your breathing.

Good advice. Everyone try it. You probably will be 10% happier.

Sí, Se Puede

Sometimes I spend so much time researching the topics that Stephen covers on the show that I lose track of the time. I have been learning more about the Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) and also Cesar Chavez.

Over 7 Million Americans have signed up for Private Health Coverage. (At this point, Stephen took time to give a shout-out to Karl Rove and his life partner, Boardie.) Good news, yes, but now there will be 7 million people in the waiting room when Stephen goes to the doctor.

And I got distracted again reading something about Karl Rove by Wayne Madsen. It's from a few year's back so I won't put the link here. You can Google those two names if you want to read about it.

Stephen also talked about Unionized Football. Most interesting to me was what he said about Northwestern University. He noted that Northwestern University graduates some quality people with excellent educations. He has a bit of history there, considering he went there and he spoke there.

Stephen's guest was John Malkovich. He is an Executive Producer for the movie "Cesar Chavez - History is Made One Step at a Time" and also has a part in the movie. Cesar Chavez was born in Yuma, Arizona. You may know Arizona as the state where Senator John McCain, who was born in Panama Canal Zone, lives.

Stephen had many questions for John Malkovich about Cesar Chavez. Other than the answers to the fashion questions, I would sum up his answers in one word - Fairness. So, go see the movie and enjoy that lettuce in your dinner salad and the grapes in your fruit salad tonight while you are eating supper.

They ended the interview by talking about the stylish Technobohemian clothes that John Malkovich was wearing. I looked at the SS 2014 collection and there's a lot of neat stuff there. Nice drawings on that scarf, too.

The Twit Hit the Fan

Horror of horrors. I turn away for just a day or two and the The Colbert Report is in danger of being canceled. AHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The show started off last night with the awning being taken down from the studio, with the staff removing their desk belongings in cardboard boxes and leaving the studio, and scenes of despair. (By the way, for those of you who are of the Playdate Plaza generation, that Native American with the tear, well, he was from a famous ad campaign to stop people from littering.)

Luckily, it was just a nightmare Stephen was experiencing due to stressful events in his life.

In "Who's Attacking Me Now?" Stephen exposed that some have called for his show to be canceled after he aired information about his Foundation that he started. #CancelColbert was trending all weekend long. The misunderstanding arose because of a character on the show that is not Stephen Colbert. And it is strange, explained Stephen, that communicating via 140 characters, could cause misunderstanding.

Now, there have been misunderstandings and innuendo and excuses and news reports and calls for the The Colbert Report to be canceled and claims of racism. Any of you out there who need clarification should do what Stephen did to learn about tolerance, read Michelle Malkin's book, "In Defense of Internment - The Case for 'Racial Profiling' in World War II and the War on Terror."

Stephen pointed out that all of this happened over the weekend when the show does not air and so in essence he was canceled for three days. Who else was canceled for three days? Jesus.

Stephen shut down his Foundation and pledged that the money would be donated to Dan Snyder's "The Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation." Stephen also fired JaMes, or James as he likes to be called. He immediately offered JaMes an new intern opportunity.

Biz Stone, co-founder of Twitter, was Stephen's guest and admitted that at one time he said about hashtags that it was the nerdiest thing he's ever heard and that no one would do that. Biz and Stephen obliterated @ColbertReport. Twitter fans should now go to @StephenAtHome.

Biz Stone came back for yet more interview. They talked about Jelly which is wonderful on a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. They also talked about Biz Stones new book, "Things a Little Bird Told Me - Confessions of the Creative Mind."

Snakes on an Ark

All the major news shows are trying to appeal to young viewers by enhancing their studio with tons of bells and whistles that should bring in the youth. Really though, when they do that, they are just daring Stephen to do it better. And of course he does, with help from Charlie Rose. His Playdate Plaza is something everyone wants a part of.

Darren Aronofsky, director of the movie Noah, about a man and his boat, was on last Thursday. Noah is a guy who had a whole bunch of animals on his boat. I wonder if he had any black swans...

The Washington Redskins Redskins Foundation

Stephen talked sports and politics last Wednesday, so a change from the previous night when it was religion. One of these days he will get around to the weather. The game of Golf is losing golfers. Face it, kinda boring. Stephen had a way to spruce it up, jazz it up, and make it exciting again. His idea is good. I hope someone will grab the ball and dribble with it, so to speak, and change the game of golf to make it interesting again.

Also in sports, Dan Snyder. He has a new foundation. I did some quick Googling and picked one of the results at random here. Stephen also talked about his new own new Foundation that has some similarities but also some differences from that of Dan Snyder. Neither one of these Foundations is likely to generate much news beyond initial announcement, so I'll move on.

Errol Morris was Stephen's guest. He has a film out soon, "The Unknown Known". It is about "What you didn't know you didn't know." Okay, it's starting to sound spooky. I hope there isn't any spooky music in the film. The film is about Donald Rumsfeld, so probably not going to be a romantic comedy.

Grab some popcorn and get ready to be entertained/informed.

Billy Beer

It's getting to be the busy time of year for me. So much to do, so little time. And of course that's when the important stuff happens. So, catching up again.

President Jimmy Carter was the focus of an entire show. That doesn't happen very often. Stephen talked about Jimmy Carter and the Jimmy Carter Library & Museum, but unfortunately, he kept getting confused and talking about Ronald Reagan. Eventually he was able to stay on track and talk about Jimmy Carter.

Jimmy Carter has yet another book out, "A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence, and Power" twenty-eight books and counting!!! I found this about him doing a book signing. (I bet he could write a blog entry pretty darn fast also.) You may also be aware that he builds houses for Habitat for Humanity. In fact, the two men talked about that on the show. These houses are not just given away to people. The recipients of the house have to help build them and they have to buy the houses. Talk about your "teaching a man to fish" story. I think Stephen was gaining a lot of respect for this man who is a lot more liberal that Stephen is. Note to readers: Stephen Colbert is a Conservative. Just ask him.

No interview would be complete without a discussion of religion and so Stephen Colbert, who is Catholic, waded into the subject of religion with Jimmy Carter who is Baptist. Although the two did not try to convert each other, Jimmy Carter did reveal he would consider becoming Catholic if the current Pope Francis stays in office and if a female Catholic priest invited him to join her church. (Awkward.)

You can read a lot more about Jimmy Carter over at Wikipedia. We all know Stephen has a lot of awards but you should take a look at how many Jimmy Carter has! Also interesting over at that Wikipedia link is a memory young Jimmy Carter had of a sermon. "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" That has influenced how he lives his life and why he continues to help people around the world including working to eradicate Guinea worm disease..

Shredded Cardboard Soaked in Vinegar

I think Stephen must have spent time in Washington D.C. over Spring Break because he had another BKAD segment. (Better Know A District) Last night he interviewed Congressman G. K. Butterfield of North Carolina's First Congressional District. Stephen was confused during some portions of the interview, but that is to be expected considering, as I said, he probably did the interview during Spring Break. They talked of many things, though, and we even got treated to an impromptu facsimile of a Thelonious Monk song by Stephen. Thelonious Monk was born in North Carolina, so that was the connection and the reason for Stephen breaking out in jazz.

The two men also talked about the Voting Rights Act, which Congressman G. K. Butterfield supports and racism which Stephen thinks is a thing of the past. Congressman Butterfield explained to Stephen that just because Barack Obama is President that does not mean racism has ended. Next the two talked about tobacco and pre-schoolers and again I suspect that Stephen was confused. Congressman Butterfield wants to use tax money from tobacco to help fund programs for young children. Stephen thinks Congressman Butterfield wants to charge too much money for young children to purchase tobacco products. Perhaps if Stephen thinks about it some more, he will see the light.

I did not realize that there are many different recipes for what you would call Bar-B-Q. Stephen had two different examples and, although Congressman Butterfield is from North Carolina, he told Stephen that the plate of Bar-B-Q from South Carolina was by far the best Bar-B-Q.

So, Bryan Cranston was on the show again, unfortunately, without roller skates. We all remember Stephen's Best Performance (scroll down in the post ***) the last time Bryan Cranston showed up on the show. But this time Bryan Cranston was promoting "All The Way" which is a play on Broadway about President Lyndon Johnson. Unfortunately, the sound on my TV machine was cutting in and out, so I did not hear everything that Bryan Cranston and Stephen talked about. I think they talked about elephants because I heard the name Jumbo, which can only be a name of an elephant. Also, Bryan Cranston demonstrated how an elephant would pick up things using his trunk.

Also interesting is that if you go look at Wikipedia's entry about the Voting Rights Act, you can scroll down (about a fourth of the way) and watch some actual video of President Johnson speaking about the Voting Rights Act.

I will try to catch this episode online and if there are any changes I need to make about the interview, I'll be sure to get that done. But I'm pretty sure they were talking about elephants.

*** Stephen also apparently spent Spring Break revamping the website Colbert Nation. You may see a note that says "Don't Freak Out but this video is no longer available. Try scrolling down a bit if you don't see the StePhest Colbchella -013 Daft Punk'd video. It may just be waiting for you under that Freak Out blurb.

Agreed Mutual Interruption

In addition to spending a lot of time this past week on the Internet, I also went shopping for a new microwave. I thought I would get the one that Stephen stole from Bill O'Reilly, but alas, it was Kevin McNamara who had the winning bid of $5,400. This auction benefited the Yellow Ribbon Fund, so that's a good thing.

Tomorrow night you can watch "The Story of the Jews." Simon Schama was Stephen's guest on his last show before Spring Break. It was fascinating to learn some of the lesser known tidbits about the Jews. It was also an interesting interview because neither man seemed to be able to finish a sentence without the other interrupting. But still they communicated very well.

Fernwood Tonight

Stephen has been on "Spring Break" and so I also partook of a bit of a break. Looking back I think I may have spent too much time on the Internet. Let me explain. Back on March 12 when Maria Schriver was the guest, Stephen talked a bit about President Obama being interviewed on Between Two Ferns by Zach Galifianakis.

The problem is, and this is not that much of a problem, Stephen called it Between Two Fernwood Tonights. Stephen was obviously confusing Between Two Ferns and Fernwood Tonight. It's an easy mistake to make. But by doing so, he took some of the attention away from the whole point of the interview on Funny or Die's Between Two Ferns which was to spotlight the Affordable Care Act. You should go to HealthCare.gov to find out about the ACA or Obamacare as most people like to call it. Stephen made a point of not mentioning healthcare.gov. Repeatedly.

So that's that. But now the fallout. Many people have complained about the president making this web video with Zach Galifianakis. There is a good reason for the complaints and it was Bill O'Reilly who brought it into the ball park. "Abe Lincoln would not have done it." That's right, Friend of the Show and boyhood chum of Abraham Lincoln knows that Abe would never have made a web video that had comedic undertones.

Here's how I can be sure that he is right. I have spent much of the time since Stephen aired that video clip (of Papa Bear) looking online for any evidence of any videos that Abraham Lincoln might have done back when he was president. I could not find a single one. Not one. Oh, there were some look-alikes doing videos but none that could be confirmed as being the true Abe. So, Bill O'Reilly was right. Abe Lincoln would not have done it. Part of me wishes I wouldn't have spent so much time on the Internet. But I learned one other thing. There are plenty of cute kitten videos on the web.

In an unrelated segment. Stephen talked (after his microphone was turned back on) about the health situation in Nicaragua. But there didn't seem to be much factual content so Stephen just skimmed over that part.

Maria Shriver was on the show and although she was talking about serious stuff, it was still a very upbeat interview. Take a look. Lots of good information.

D. All Of The Above

Again, more religion news. Do you have your own magazine? I didn't think so. Well the Pope does! A weekly magazine, "Il Mio Papa" is being published in Rome. How I wish I was in Rome now so that I could pick up the first magazine. Every week there will be a pullout centerfold. Of the Pope. (What were you thinking, for heaven's sake???)

There was also a short segment on the younger generation and a report in Huffington Post or Huff Po or Huffing Post. Seems like the name and aim keeps evolving...

Even as some things about the SAT keep changing, some things stay the same. To the dismay of older employees, employers are asking for SAT scores for upper management jobs. Stephen had a bit of help for those who will be taking the test. Just remember these words: SAT, Panic, Anxiety, Hysteria, Horror, Failure. And now my suggestions: Do your best and don't worry. It's just a test.

Ronan Farrow was Stephen's guest on Tuesday. Stephen mentioned his age (26) five times on the show. Lots of people are 26, but most people did not finish high school at 11, finish college at 15 and go to law school at 16. Also, most people do not have their own TV show on msnbc when they are 26 years old.

Ronan revealed that Stephen Colbert was his role model, basically his Papa Bear (not to be confused with Il Mio Papa). In addition to that, he studies Stephen's shouting technique, I suppose so that he can have a show that is more informative. Stephen offered up some of his ideas for producing real political change in our country.

It's True Whether or Not You Believe In It

There's been lots about religion (or not) on the show and Stephen highlighted recent events by various organizations. Some groups want a plaque, others just want to scratch and burp.

But most of the show on Monday was all about Neil deGrasse Tyson. To prove what goes around, comes around, but in a very nice way, we found out that Neil deGrasse Tyson actually met Carl Sagan. Now Neil deGrasse Tyson is hosting Cosmos, A Spacetime Odyssey, just like Carl Sagan also hosted Cosmos.

This was the tenth time Neil deGrasse Tyson has been on The Colbert Report. (And yet there was no cake, no balloons, no award? Oh well.) The first part of the interview was background information about Neil deGrasse Tyson. By the age of 11, when people would ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up, Neil deGrasse Tyson would tell them astrophysicist. And then they would just walk away.

The second part of the interview was about science. Stephen wanted to start some controversy, but Neil deGrasse Tyson was, dare I say it, too smart for Stephen. Neil deGrasse threw out the ideas of a multiverse and dark energy. Stephen thought that there should always be two sides to any discussion of science, sort of a fair and balanced approach. For example, if you have discussion about the earth being round, it only makes sense to bring on someone to talk about the earth being flat.

While Stephen wondered if science is legitimate, that is, is the science in on science, Neil told him that once science has spoken, that's it. Here's what their discussion boiled down to as Neil told Stephen,"You get to say the world is flat because we live in a country that guarantees your free speech, but it's not a country that guarantees that anything you say is correct."

When Stephen appeared dumbfounded, Neil added, "I'm just saying."

Mr. Smarty Pants

Happy Birthday. Sadly, you might get in trouble singing "Happy Birthday" in a public place. Have you been paying royalties when you sing it? I didn't think so. Now I understand why some of those restaurants I go to have their own versions or chants when celebrating customers' birthdays. Happily, Stephen sang a "Happy Birthday" song for us that we can all use whenever and wherever we want.

Stephen's guest way back on Thursday was Theaster Gates. Yet another guest who does it all. Stephen introduced him to us. He is an artist and holds a Masters Degree in Fine Arts, Religious Studies, Ceramics and Urban Planning, and currently he is Director of the Arts and Public Life Initiative at the University of Chicago, and the Founder of the nonprofit Rebuild Foundation. Amazingly, after reading all this off his cheat sheet, Stephen still had time to look at some examples of Theaster Gates' work and spend some time talking with him. You can see some of his work here at Kavi Gupta Gallery. I can't even begin to imagine how he can do all this and still have time to give Stephen the Theaster Gates Bump, oops I mean still have time to come on the show and get the Colbert Bump.

Zip & Go, Bing, Bing, Bing

Bill O'Reilly seems to be tiptoeing around hinting about what would happen if Hillary Clinton would be elected President. Stephen pointed out that the current "decor" in the Oval Office has more of a masculine theme, but, hey, I think it could be changed. Stephen then became more technical and scientific with his analysis of the whole men vs women as POTUS. He claimed that while men can be ready to go at a moment's notice, women tend to take a more leisurely approach, choosing to send off a letter via one of those weird mailboxes.

Bill'O also predicted that things would happen if Hillary Clinton were President. Things such as ships sailing in the water or testing the waters. That reminds me of a fortune teller saying, "You will meet a tall, dark stranger" or "You will come upon some unexpected riches." Those things happen all the time, so quite a safe prediction. Something, anything will happen and Mr. O'Reilly will say, "See, I told you so." (Bing bing bing.)

In Tip/Wag, Stephen talks about Chevron handing out pizza coupons. Find out about that here. Stephen pointed out that it's the least, literally the least that Chevron could do.

Stephen also talked about the Updated Nutrition Facts labels that the FDA has been talking about. There okay, but Stephen really only needs to know if it's sweet or spicy, soft or crunchy, and, well ...  Mouth.

Stephen had more about Campaign Contributions last night when he interviewed Beau Willimon, creator of "House of Cards." Kevin Spacey stars as Frank Underwood. (I wonder, does Kevin Spacey have the most appropriate last name ever?) Stephen compared Kevin Spacey to members of Congress and notes the similarities. Part of the appeal of the show is that Frank Underwood is able to accomplish stuff. After Beau Willimon explained some of the inner workings of the show, Stephen looked directly into the camera and said, "At this point, I knew I had him."

Beau Willimon also told Stephen how important compromise is in actually getting stuff done. Stephen had an opinion on that and expressed it to Beau Willimon. It was a short and to the point.

Campaign Contributions

Stephen featured Crimea in his never-ending segment "*Better Know A Geopolitical Flashpoint*" which is fine, but he still hasn't finished doing "Better Know a District." In fact my district got nothing more than a two-second flyby. But I guess there is more going on in Crimea than in my home district, so I will be a grown up and not complain.

Part of the reason Stephen did a segment on Crimea was to highlight the Cold War. Part of the reason he highlighted the Cold War was to show off his Shoe Phone and his Shoe Answering Machine. And part of the reason he wanted to show off his Shoe Phone was to demonstrate how amazingly limber he is. Thanks hot yoga.

As all the unrest is going on over in Crimea and the Ukraine, President Obama is being criticized by politicians and people on TV who talk about news events. President Obama is spotted in the Oval Offices wearing jeans and a casual shirt while talking to Vlad Putin on a 90 minute phone call. This is wrong of course. He should be wearing:

* Suit and Tie because otherwise he doesn't look like he cares what Americans and the world think
or
* No shirt because you know that's what Putin is wearing and it looks like the President doesn't care what Americans and the world think

With all this controversy and whining, Stephen has decided to conduct his own poll. I believe it will be every bit as valid as the one over at Fox News. Go to Colbert Nation .com and answer the question:

"What do 'You' think about what Americans think world leaders think about President Obama?"

You choices are:
Yes
No
Vegetarian Option

Just look for that blue banner, with the words TAKE THE POLL NOW right above the video of Stephen. If you care about the world, you should take the poll. Let Stephen know what you think.

Stephen is outraged by the veto last week by Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona SB1062. Stephen had some insight into her daily meetings with Hansel and Gretel which I was not aware of. But never mind that. Basically, it was all about cake and pastry. Some, however, say that this was about discriminating against the gays. Others say it is about "self-professed behavior." Case in point, Steve King of Iowa. Stephen had a clear explanation of this whole issue.

What it all boils down to is it would be helpful to send "verification" to Steve King to clear up any confusion that might exist. Here's the address:

Representative Steve King
2210 Rayburn Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

A good suggestion from Stephen Colbert about the material you send to Steve King is to label it Campaign Contributions thusly:

Campaign Contributions
Rep.Steve King
2210 Rayburn Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

This will guarantee that the Rep Rep (short for Republican Representative) Steve King will read it.

Stephen's guest last night was basically someone who does it all. Jaron Lanier is a computer scientist, a composer, a visual artist, an author, the father of Virtual Reality, a scientist, a scholar, and an inventor. That list is probably not complete. He also has great hair and a wonderful laugh which was demonstrated audibly as he watched Stephen work his way slowly from the journalism desk to the interview desk. Stephen, you better be careful; you do not want to break your wrist again!!! Jaron Lanier  has a book out, "Who Owns the Future?"

I am sure the interview could have gone on for an hour, but I will just talk about a few ideas thrown out. Jaron Lanier said that real wealth is community wealth. That's the basic 'we all do better when we all do better' line of thought. Both men were wearing special eyeglasses that gave them special powers. Our middle class is disappearing. Stephen thinks virtual reality could solve that problem, but I think he was not thinking it through completely.  As smart as Jaron Lanier is, he admitted at the end of the interview that basically, Stephen had won the interview. 

Average American Joe, Domestic Beer, and NASCARs

Stephen talked about the Oscars and about Matthew McConaughey's best hero of many times, but I figure if you are interested in the Oscars, you watched it over and over. And if not, then you don't need Stephen to tell you about it. (No offense Stephen and now Stephen says none taken.)

So, then, on to something that not many people are aware of - The Affordable Care Act, also known as ObamaCare. You may remember Rep Rep (that's short for Republican Representative) Cathy McMorris Rodgers of Washington talking about ObamaCare when she gave the GOP response to the SOTU.

A woman, going by the name of  "Bette in Spokane" lamented the fact that she had to pay nearly $700 more per month for health care. Stephen point out, as did this article in The Spokesman-Review about Bette in Spokane, revealed the reason. She wouldn't go on the Obama website, choosing instead the wise decision to just go without health care. (No way that can turn out badly.)

Turns out there's lots more  stories out there about horror stories that don't hold up when scrutinized. (I know, I know, some of you out there don't care all that much for facts, but just read on.) The Los Angeles Times had an article, "Maybe there are no genuine Obamacare horror stories."

Here's the part now for those of you who don't like facts. Stephen showed an ad by Americans for Prosperity that showed sad people unhappy with Obamacare. Problem is, those people in the ad.... they are all paid actors. So said Reverend Al Sharpton on msnbc. Stephen made a comment about Rev. Al's journalistic credentials, but really, aren't Stephen and the Rev about equal as far as journalistic degrees.

As a treat to people who want to hear from salt of the earth type of people to get their facts, Chuck Dupree of Louisiana, a hard-working fisherman, was on the show to talk about Obamacare. Chuck confirmed to Stephen that he was not an actor and he couldn't lie about that because it's the law. We heard all about his hard life and health problems and the problems caused by The Affordable Care... The Affordable Care... Stephen hollered "Act" and Chuck hollered back that he was trying to. After Chuck Dupree's son and his understudy son came on, I started to wonder about the veracity of this whole account by this fisherman.

His final words were about state run insurance exchanges.

Stephen did a wonderful segment about Sports Illustrated models. He talked about Barbie and had a short interview with Mrs., let's call her Mrs. Spud. It was okay, but it was just talk. I think it would be so much better if he had Barbie on for actual interview. He's able to get supermodels on his show, this should be a no-brainer.

Stephen's guest, Caitlin Flanagan, was there to drink beer and talk about fraternities with Stephen. It was an interesting interview, but here's an idea. Just go read her article in The Atlantic about fraternities and you will get an even better idea of what the interview merely touched on.

Stephen reminded us at the end of the show to go see a play which featured Patrick Stewart in it.

It's the Most Fun You Can Possibly Have .... Besides This

As we watched last week come to an end, Stephen was frosting on Wedding Cake on Thursday's show. It was not the best Wedding Cake I have ever seen. In fact, he was kind of sloppy about slopping the frosting on. But I am sure anyone would have been thrilled to have a cake baked and frosted and decorated by him at their wedding. From what he said, I expect he will be making more cakes. It seems like destiny and I say, "Good Job Stephen and Congratulations to the Happy Couple."

Stephen celebrated Black History Month by basically admitting he was not well prepared. He had a cartoon about Laser Klan. I'm still waiting for another Tek Jansen episode, so hopefully we will see that soon. Maybe Tek Jansen has moved on to other acting pursuits or even directing or producing movies. Maybe he could just do a cameo appearance in something.

Jeff Goldblum was Stephen's guest and he was actually interviewed this time. Of course, most people will remember him from "Tenspeed and Brown Shoe." Currently he is starring in the Wes Anderson movie, "The Grand Budapest Hotel," which, judging by the photo of it at that link, looks like an elegant hotel that would make for a relaxing few days away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Stephen was able to push Jeff Goldblum to admit that he is a liberal, you know, on the side of the more progressive thinkers. Luckily, Stephen had Jimmy edit that part out so we didn't see that faux pas. Stephen saw the movie and said he cried. But he also said it was hilarious. If you were lucky enough to be in that movie, I guess you were able to have fantastic dinners each night. Stephen might be willing to take a bit part in a gig like that, just for the fun and food.

By the way, you might want to consider watching "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" on Friday night of this week. No special reason, just an idea.

A Bump in the R..., Water Under the Br....

Michelle Obama has been promoting healthy lifestyles for our children by emphasizing healthy eating and being physically active. And obesity rates are going down. So that's the good news.

But, bad news is overshadowing everything else. Bob and Babs, never mind their last name or where they live. They could be you. They could live where you live. A horrible crime happened to them. During the night, at 2:00 a.m., their dogs barked, but they ignored the barking. The next morning, to their horror, they discovered that their Gumby statue had been stolen from their yard. There are numerous similar crimes all across the country. Who did it and why? Gumby can't talk or perhaps we could find out more. Stephen's warning: Protect your Gumby before it's too late.

Stephen talked about some of the potential GOP candidates for the 2016 Presidential Election. He got a little hung up using unfortunate phrases when talking about Chris Christie, so he went on to talk about of the other candidates and then on to one of the potential Democratic candidates. Some people over on the conservative side are noting that Hillary Clinton is not a spring chicken and thus not suited for public office. This could backfire, though. Stephen pointed out that Ronald Reagan was older than Hillary would be upon taking office, (if she runs and if she's elected).

Is this a good idea? Should the GOP say that old women are not capable of doing important stuff? I kind of think they should check out their binders of women and maybe not go down that path. Besides, I think lots of old women vote and they might not like being told that old women are too old.

Every once in a while, Stephen will have on more that one guest for his interview segment. That was the case on Wednesday night. Olympic Gold Winners Meryl Davis and Charlie White were on. I must first declare that I was expecting that we would get to see their winning Gold Medal performance right there on Stephen's set, but that did not happen. That was a bit disappointing but I got over it. It was a lovely interview, with Charlie feeding Stephen's ego by laughing at nearly everything Stephen said. That's okay, I would do the same thing if I was being interviewed by Stephen. One exciting thing did happen. We got to see Stephen twizzling. He did it well.

It is probably a good thing that Stephen did not interview them before the Olympics. I can just imagine being out on the ice, ready to start, and then you think about something Stephen said during the interview and all your concentration would be gone. Even great hair could not save a person then.

Jimmy, Eddie, Mary, Billy, Margo, Tommy, Jay, Lulu, Paul, Peter, Stephen

It should come as no surprise to anyone that follows the news from journalist Stephen Colbert that Stephen reported on the state of our defense in this country. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is proposing some cuts to our military spending. While some people (Elisabeth Hasselbeck)find this to be a devastating blow to our security, Shep Smith went rogue over at Fox and reported that we need to keep in mind that our military budget is bigger than the next ten military budgets in the world combined.

Stephen had maps of China, Russia, United Kingdom, Japan, France, Saudi Arabia, India, Germany, Italy, and Brazil up on the screen, so I'm assuming we are bigger and better than all those countries. Sounds like we are still holding our own.

But some of the other people over at Fox had a graph, and that beats out Shep Smith with his plain standing and talking. The graph had blue and red bars for each year 2008, 2010, 2012 and 2014. And there were four large numbers on the left side:  500B, 1.0T, 1.5 T, and 2.0 T. I'm going out on a branch here and saying that they stand for $500 billion, $1 trillion, $1.5 trillion, and $2.0 trillion. And with this graph, Steve Doocy went on to talk about the graph. "As you can see, back in 1990," and it went downhill for him from there. Something that perhaps needs to be investigated is whether Steve Doocy might be colorblind. He seemed to get the colors red and blue mixed up. And then one might wonder about his number sense. He had a hard time reading those numbers. I mean, two trillion. You try saying that out loud and see how well you do! Stephen came to the conclusion from this graph that the other guy named Steve should not be on television.

Stephen Colbert went on to do an amazing "The Word" that showed how much money is being wasted with military spending. For example, lots of fancy stuff is being made - such as tanks and planes - that don't work well or aren't even needed by the army, and then some of them just go to Arizona and sit unused. Sounds like entitlement spending for tanks to me. What would that be? Entanklement Spending? Just for fun, Google "Arizona Boneyard" or "Aircraft Boneyard" and look at the Images or Maps to see a bunch of stuff just sitting around. I even spotted airplanes with missing parts.

The reason for all of these military accessories is that it provides jobs for people. Stephen had a great idea for a new weapon system. It has everything. It's the FU435 Employmentator. It's part tank, part jet and part aircraft carrier. Why is it that Stephen has all the good ideas?

Stephen's guest last night was St. Vincent who was born Annie Erin Clark. She brought her Einstein hair with her, and as is often the case with guests on the show, lost at the game of "How Fast Can You Name Them." Stephen always wins. Only an only child could come out ahead in that competition. I'm also thinking that Comedy Central could have a game show called, "How Fast Can You Name Them." My idea, but I'm giving it away free to Comedy Central. You're welcome.

Anyway, St. Vincent performed a song from her album last night and of course there's a bonus song over at Colbert Nation. The similarities between her performance and the performance by Darlene Love the night before are uncanny. It's almost like watching a rerun from the night before. See what you think.

Da Doo Ron Ron

Stephen talked last night about the Olympics being over. He also mentioned what a drag it was for the choice of uniforms that the Speed Skaters wore. Apparently the vents caused drag and thus they did not do very well in Sochi. That's okay, it meant we got to see Stephen's choice of clothing when he is out and about driving his car. Looking good, Stephen. But of course I must say, "Kids, don't try this at home."

And then somehow, Stephen was able to turn the focus of the show to an interview by Jillert Anema which resulted in Stephen vowing to get rid of his doggone wooden shoes. (Jillert Anema, Netherlands Speedskating Coach, had an opinion of the whole situation of winners and losers in Speedskating which was not shared by Stephen.) Now, if you would like to get a pair of wooden shoes just like the Windmill Design Wooden Shoes that Stephen got rid of, check out Dutch Village Shopping (conveniently located in Holland, Michigan) and purchase your special pair.

To wear with your fashionable Windmill Design Wooden Shoes, why not also chip in a mere $30 and get a beautiful blue Blade in the USA T-shirt and help out the American Speedskating team at the same time.

Ukraine. Gideon Rose, Editor for "Foreign Affairs," joined Stephen to catch up on the news coming out of the Ukraine. It can go either way for the Ukraine and we will be hearing lots of news about this country in days and weeks to come.

Stephen's guest last night was a real treat - Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, who stars in "20 Feet From Stardom," Darlene Love. Back in the 1960s, Darlene Love was a background singer for such musicians and groups as Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Aretha Franklin, The Beach Boys, Tom Jones, Sam Cooke, The Righteous Brothers, Cher, Dionne Warwick, and The Mamas and The Papas. And now she's a Lead Singer. They briefly discussed the different skills needed for doing background singing or lead singing. We got to hear answers to such questions as "Did you have any bad boys?" and "How much about African American, Soul or Blues music did you learn from Elvis Presley?"

For those of you who don't think you have heard Darlene Love sing all that often, remember, she was in the background quite a bit. If you Google Darlene Love and David Letterman, you will find out that she shows up at Christmas to sing on The Late Show with Letterman Show. Also, fans of Saturday Night Live might remember that it was Darlene Love singing "Christmastime for the Jews" which had a guest appearance by friend of the show, Jon Stewart.

We were treated to Darlene Love singing "He's a Rebel." That's a tender song, sung with gusto, about the benefits of always seeing the good side of people, even when others might not agree with you.

Go to Colbert Nation for a web exclusive of Darlene Love singing "Da Doo Ron Ron."

At the end of the show, Stephen gave a tribute to Harold Ramis who died recently. He brought so many great moments (as an actor or director, etc) --- Ghostbusters, Stripes, Animal House, Meatballs, Caddyshack, Vacation, Groundhog Day, The Human Centipede and much more. He was a role model for Stephen Colbert. Here's a short clip of Harold Ramis in "Stripes" doing "Da Doo Ron Ron."

The Bone Ranger $9,999,999

If you remember, Stephen stole Bill O'Reilly's microwave, (which is just like Bill O'Reilly: a little old, a little square, and does not care what you are saying) and Stephen is auctioning it off. Why, then, is Stephen sad? It seems that Papa Bear actually appears to think that Stephen is mocking him and therefore he called Stephen a ______. He would not say what he thought of Stephen.

Probably it is one of these, according to Stephen.

-- Humanitarian
-- Stud Muffin
-- The Wind Beneath Bill O'Reilly's Wings

The bidding for Bill O'Reilly's interview notes shot up to $9,999,999 before dropping down to $30,000 because he didn't get only verified bids. "Bill, with all due respect, you're an idiot."

The bidding for Stephen's auction of Bill O'Reilly's microwave shot up to $98,000.00 before then dropping down to $3,100 because the $98,000.00 was not a verified bid and Stephen made an honest mistake that could happen to anyone.

Stephen said that he used that microwave for many things, including melting an action figure of Al Franken. Whoa, that was way back on January 30, 2007. I don't even remember him doing that! By now the auction is over. I hope we find out tonight who had the winning bid. Maybe it will be Bill O'Reilly.

Again we were treated to another report live via satellite (in Sochi) from Buddy Cole who hoped to meet up with Bode Miller, U.S. Olympic Skier. Surprise surprise - Bode Miller was live in Stephen's studio. What a treat!!! Stephen asked if he would continue to ski and try for even more medals. Bode Miller is not sure and Stephen grabbed that opportunity to suggest he join the Olympic Curling team.

We had a bit of a commercial endorsement for Aflac and it made me wonder if we might see the Aflac duck on as a guest sometime soon. That would be a great show. Are you listening, Stephen?

Anyway, back to Buddy Cole. He finally was able to finish up his documentary in Sochi and surprisingly it was in a gay bar. Due to time zone differences, Buddy Cole was able to fly back from Sochi during the airing of the last video about Sochi and appear on the set next to Stephen. Something most of us did not realize but Stephen did is that Buddy Cole is actually a Canadian. I hope this is not the last we see of Buddy Cole just because the Olympics are over. I also hope this is not the last we see of Buddy Cole just because he is Canadian.

General Stanley A. McChrystal was Stephen's guest. You may know him from Rolling Stone or from his book, "My Share of the Task: A Memoir." Stanley McChrystal said he was in favor of one year of paid national service by all our young people. It doesn't have to be military service. It could be education or health care service.

I Want a Drink. I Want a Drink. I Want a Drink.

Sadly, the Olympics in Sochi, Russia are over. But that means time for me to get caught up on all kinds of things including eating, sleeping, and posting.

On last Wednesday's show, we got to see Stephen's interpretation of Ice Dancing, and all this while he was still in his chair. Also, poor Bob Costas. Stephen showed a photo of him covered in snow, wearing a dark scarf around his neck, a stylish hat on top of his head, and an eye that looked like a burst blackberry. Hope that pink eye gets better for him soon.

Happily, we got to see quite an extensive mini-documentary/show-and-tell from Buddy about the gay threat to Sochi. Of course I hope you all got to see his extensive training exercises he taught to the Speed Skating team on an earlier episode of The Colbert Report. But this time Buddy actually went to the actual Olympics in actual Sochi, Russia.

After finding winter, Buddy talked to natives of Sochi, dressed in his finest winter wear. The Souvenir Shop held lots of appeal for Buddy Cole. That's the one place I would have been sure to visit if I had been able to go to Sochi. After many questions, Buddy Cole traveled the 70 kilometers to the Free Speech Protest Zone. Unfortunately he seemed to be the only protester and then in another blow to free speech, he was "asked" to stop speaking and the producer convinced him that free speech isn't all that important. Come home soon, Buddy.

Stephen's guest was Oscar winning and Oscar nominated director Alexander Payne. We got to see a video clip of "Nebraska" the movie from someone who actually lives in Nebraska. The movie "Nebraska" was shot in black and white, although Stephen commented that at this time of year, it could be shot in color and who would really be able to tell the difference.

Alexander Payne is more relaxed that lots of the Hollywood type of directors. For example, he likes to go on road trips in the car or even enjoy the relaxation of a nice train trip on Amtrak. He believes in that old, it's not the destination, it's the journey type of travel.

Welcome to Tonight

The Olympics are still going strong and I am spending most of my waking time watching as much as I can. So, yes very short posts. If only I could be in Sochi to watch it live...

The most important thing that happened on Tuesday's show was that we got to see Stephen with a short cameo appearance on "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon." (Friend of the show.) Stephen showered Jimmy Fallon with much praise and welcomed him to the world of nighttime news and entertainment television. Jimmy was speechless.

In another of the episodes where Stephen has a mini-guest and a real guest, we got to meet Janet Mock who talked about her book, "Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More,"

We also got to meet Brian Greene, a scientist, so you know he's probably as smart as Stephen. He and Stephen talked about World Science U. It's even better than vinegar and baking soda. Go look at it.

I Stole the Gravy Boat

Stephen dined in style on the same night of the State Dinner but I won't say where. You will have to figure that out. And he was in quite good company but I won't say who it was.

Bill O'Reilly is auctioning off his notes from the interview he did with President Obama on Super Bo... I mean the Big Game Sunday. So Stephen is auctioning off the microwave oven he "took" from O'Reilly's Green Room. Inside the microwave is a "Spin Zone." Proceeds from the microwave will go to the Yellow Ribbon Fund. If you can't afford to bid on the microwave, you can get a Xerox copy of the iPhone photo of the microwave.

After a lovely segment on menu reading, Stephen welcomed his guest Godfrey Reggio to talk about his film "Visitors." It was quite interesting. Stephen asked the hard questions, such as, "When do I start drooling?"

The Party's Over

Again, I am soaking up all the Olympic competition I can find on the TV machine, so not so much time spent posting here. I'm thinking I might come back and add more to this a bit later. Hoping...

Buddy Cole was on again last night doing wonderful reporting about the Olympics. He has great journalistic instincts and is almost as good as Stephen at finding out all the news in a news story. Let's hope we see more of him.

We found out about the stress of being a pro football player.

And Charlie Crist was on talking about his book, "The Party's Over: How the Extreme right Hijacked the GOP and I Became a Democrat."

From Russia With Love

Buddy Cole was on the show to discuss the Sochi Olympics, the controversy over in Russia as it relates to anti-gay propaganda laws, as well as his long friendship with Stephen. Their friendship goes way back to Theater Camp which sounded like it was a lot of fun for both of them.

Stephen's guest last night was Patrick Kennedy to talk about marijuana and Project SAM. There is a lot of good information on the website, so go read it now. Take the time to think about it.

I'm off to watch more Olympics now. It was better last time when Stephen was in Vancouver, but it is still exciting even it he is not there.

Speaking of Fossils

The Sochi Olympics are in full swing so I won't be having as much spare time as usual. I am too busy watching the sports and the fashion and the spectacle. I hope Stephen does not think that I think less of his show than I do of a bunch of people in tights dancing and prancing around on ice and snow.

So, in brief.... Papa Bear interviewed Prez Barack (I am using abbreviated names there to save time. I mean Bill O'Reilly and President Barack Obama in case there are some of you out there who do not know who I am referring to.) Papa Bear asked hard questions and then went on to answer the questions himself.

At the Olympics in Sochi, there is a bit of a problem with yogurt. Chobani Yogurt is being delayed from reaching the Team USA athletes. Not everything in Sochi is done being built. Water problems, sidewalk problems, stray dog in your hotel room problems are just some of the examples we heard about. The most worrisome problem that Stephen mentioned was that some manholes do not have manhole covers on them.

In Tip/Wag we learned that it is extremely important to have labels on your bottles of liquid.

Paul Krugman was Stephen's guest to explain how good ObamaCare (Affordable Care Act or ACA) is really actually working well. People shouldn't be believing all the naysayers out there. Stephen tried to come up with naysaying, including talking about some of the women he knows who might have reasons for wanting health insurance coverage, but Paul Krugman had very good reasons why ObamaCare is a good thing.

He also had to clarify for Stephen and us what others have distorted over and over again. The CBO did not say ObamaCare will kill jobs. The CBO said now that people have the health care that they need, the can voluntarily choose to work fewer hours.

Most important on Thursday's show was the announcement that Jay the Intern has welcomed a little intern to his own family, Baby Eli the Intern. So cute!

Buckle Deductible

Stephen talked about other people talking about ObamaCare, or the Affordable Care Act (ACA). The Congressional Budget Office issued a report that says fewer people will work because they don't have to in order to get health insurance. That immediately got turned into "job killer" by all the talking heads. Here's a bit of an explanation about it over at Slate.

I also would mention that Stephen had nice bumper stickers on the show. What really impressed me the most, though, was that apparently you can get a license plate in California with no identifying numbers or letters on it. I don't know how you would tell it apart from any other license plate, but it sure would be easy to keep it clean and shiny.

The best part of the segment about Obama Care (Affordable Care Act) (ACA) was when Stephen talked about Pilgrims and the "Buckle Deductible." He said it well. Now it's your turn to say it. Repeat after me. Buckle Deductible. Buckle Deductible. Buckle Deductible. Buckle Deductible.

Everyone loves watching rich people on TV. We got treated to clips of Tom Perkins talking about how great it is to be rich. We also got to see a little bit of Mort Zuckerman talking about how it would also be nice if poor people had a little bit of money. I think it would be great to have to two men meet and discuss that topic. Maybe sometime in the future Stephen can do that on his show.

Stephen had Lake Street Dive on last night. There's four of them in the band. I like the photo over at their website for Bad Self Portraits. Yes they sang and yes there's a bonus song over at Colbert Nation.

Pussy Riot

It's February and Stephen reminded us what that means. It's Black History Month and also Children's Dental Health Month. Remember to floss.

Stephen's blood is boiling and just because Evidence "Exists." David Wildstein supposedly has evidence that Chris Christie knew about the lane closures while they were happening. But, can we believe what David Wildstein says? Is he trustworthy. Some would say he isn't.

On the show to give us some background on the two men was their first grade teacher, Mrs. Lutemeyer (sp?). She shared that David was not the most endearing student, somewhat of a ruffian, while Christopher was such a joy. Students like him are why she teaches. But when she started reading from a script, Stephen became suspicious that she was not being completely honest with him. She broke down and revealed that she was afraid after two lunch lines were closed and the class goldfish died suddenly. Luckily, Stephen offered her asylum at the studio.

Last night's guests were Masha Alekhina and Nadya Tolokonnikova of Pussy Riot. Also there was Anna to act as the interpreter since Stephen only speaks English. It was one of the longest interview segments I remember seeing on the show. Perhaps that was because the questions and answers would take longer due to the language barrier.

I find it interesting that just one night after his expose of the Coca Cola ad which had languages other than English that Stephen would have guests that spoke a language other than English. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed listening to the discussion. I find different languages fascinating. Still, I wondered why Stephen didn't stick to English Only guests.

I also found it somewhat amusing that last night's interview was so different from the night before with Jennifer Senior. In that interview, Stephen dominated the conversation and had his guest laughing at many of his comments. In last night's interview, Stephen would try to get in a laugh but was usually upstaged. He would come back with a quick quip, only to be upstaged yet again.

One of the reasons Masha Alekhina and Nadya Tolokonnikova are here in the US is to tour prisons and to talk to human rights activists. Stephen noted that our prisons are just wonderful.

The actual number of members of Pussy Riot is a secret but apparently Stephen could be in Pussy Riot. Stephen complimented the two on their decision to use English words for the name of the band. They explained to Stephen about the extensive choice of vocabulary in the Russian language.

So, it was a great cultural exchange last night. Stephen seemed to fit right in with Pussy Riot. Everyone had a great time. If you didn't get to see it, head over to Colbert Nation.

Je Ne Sais Quoi

Stephen teased us with his review of the commercials that aired during the Big Game. He kept hinting at nuts which made all of us think he was talking about the Pistachio commercial that he was in. (No wonder he kept talking about football and the Big Game all last week!) But then we found out he was talking about the super controversial Coca Cola ad. It was really bad. Can you just imagine a commercial with different scenes of different people with different voices singing "America the Beautiful in different languages?" Granted the singers were on key and kept up the correct tempo and were quite lovely, but still, English has always been the only language spoken here since time began and it will always be that way. And Coca Cola has to honor that myth.

You can see it here, oops I mean see the Coca Cola ad here. Stephen also played part of the ad on the show last night until the pain in his head nearly ended the show right then and there. Stephen was warned by the folks over at Fox and by Rush Limbaugh, but still he watched and listened.

Everyone is upset by this. Allen West had this to say about it, " It started rather patriotically with the words of 'America the Beautiful.' Then the words went from English to languages I didn't recognize." Stephen noted that Allen West once was a Congressman from Florida and served in the army over in Afghanistan. Who could really expect him to recognize Spanish or Arabic?

Even Michael Leahy weighed in thusly: "The company used such an iconic song, one often sung in churches on the 4th of July that represents the old "E Pluribus Unum' view of how American society is integrated, to push multiculturalism down our throats.." You could look up the Latin phrase "E Pluribus Unum" at the Google machine. Or you could just take Stephen's word for it that it means, "Speaka da Engliss."

Stephen gave us just a little bit of history about the song, "America The Beautiful" when noting that the ad also showed a gay couple while the song was still playing in the background. The lyrics were written by Katharine Lee Bates who had a Boston marriage with her partner of 25 years, Katharine Coman.Who knew?

We can only hope that this controversy will show up in the presidential election of 2016 because, after all, Coca Cola is a carbonated beverage that many people enjoy in a tall glass with ice cubes. What could be more important for our leaders to talk about than this? Are you listening Fox News? Keep this issue in the headlines.

Back to the show. Hat/Finger or Tip/Wag or Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. The Oakland Cheerleaders are suing the Oakland Raiders because they haven't been paid enough. Works out to about $5.00 per hour all things considered. More importantly in this segment, we got to see a photo of Stephen from his school days. And that's what really matters for me.

Pope Francis is on the cover of Rolling Stone and Stephen is somewhat upset and so used last night as a soapbox to show off his knowledge of all the other Popes.

Sadly, China's Jade Rabbit is perhaps going to fail. And the snowstorm has whipped up a lot of winter pollen and has made Stephen cry. Or something like that. The Jade Rabbit spoke to all of us and Stephen was profoundly moved by it.

Wonder of all wonders, we got to see the Stephen Colbert Wonderful Pistachios commercial. I'm assuming everyone watching got to see the ad. Sometimes ads play to a local market, but I think this one would have been aired for everyone to enjoy. And then there was an ad for the Lego Movie (starts Friday). You know what would be great? If Stephen could have some of the actors from that movie on as guests. That would be so "very" cool. (You may substitute another word for "very" if you would like.)

And again, back to the show. Stephen talked briefly about Harry Potter (a handsome young lad with dark hair and glasses) and the current thoughts of author J.K. Rowling. Stephen suggested  some new books that should be written to bring the relationships up to date.

Stephen's guest last night was Jennifer Senior. She has a new fun book out, "All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood." It seemed like it was going to be a short interview, but then it did go a bit longer. It was one of those strange interviews where the interviewee laughed somewhat and tried to get words in edgewise because the interviewer was kind of monopolizing the discussion. Interestingly enough Jennifer Senior did mention that it used to be that children were considered "staff." Now, parents are the staff. But think back to times when many people lived on farms. Children were expected to work on the farm at whatever tasks they could.

It was a short yet fast interview. Come back in twenty years to find out how well Jennifer Senior did on raising her own kid.

Pistachio

Stephen's Superb Owl coverage continued last Thursday night with a lot of people talking about a lot of football issues. Stephen covered medicinal products for injured football players. He discussed sports injuries with guests Steve Fainaru and Mark Fainaru-Wada and talked about their book "League of Denial: The NFL, Concussions and the Battle for Truth."

Also on as guests were the Mayors of the two "Big Game" cities - Mayor Ed Murray of Seattle and Mayor Michael Hancock of Denver. They had the typical little friendly wager that happens this time every year. A steak from Denver vs some salmon from Seattle. What a mistake. That's gambling and is illegal in New York and Stephen had them arrested. They should have seen that coming since Stephen was wearing a wire.

Then the real guest was Drew Brees, quarterback for New Orleans. Of course they talked a lot about football and the upcoming Big Game.

All week long Stephen talked about football and Big Game. Thursday was all football. Now as I write this, the Big Game is over. We know who won. We know which commercials were the best. I am sure Stephen had a favorite commercial and I am sure he will talk about that commercial tonight. If you can't wait until tonight's show to find out his favorite commercial spot, you can head over to Colbert Nation and I think you will discover his favorite.

One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi

We are all looking forward to the Big Game and Stephen is pumped to be learning how to be a great football player. We got to see some more demonstrations of his most excellent skills last night and I was especially pleased to find out that he is good enough to play in the Bowl Game. We got to see a preview and it was priceless. At half-time he went into the locker room to give an inspirational talk to the "players" that unified them and gave them the spirit they needed to go back out and play.

Hopefully you got to watch the SOTU speech by President Barack Obama. President Obama called for 2014 to be the year of action and Vice President Joe Biden was just happy to see everyone who was in the audience.

After all the great ideas presented by the POTUS in the SOTU speech, the GOP got in their 2 cents worth, I mean 4 cents worth, I mean 6 cents worth, I mean 8 cents worth. They had four different responses to the SOTU speech. There was Mike Lee for the Tea Party, Rand Paul for the other Tea Party, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen for Spanish speakers and the official real GOP response by Cathy McMorris Rodgers. Stephen compared it to having your own personal Sleep Number Bed. I'm sure everyone was especially happy when Cathy McMorris Rodgers looked directly into the camera as she gave her response. (Apologies to Michele Bachmann.)

Just as important as the GOP response to the SOTU speech by the POTUS was the media response to the GOP response to the SOTU speech by the POTUS. Steve Schmidt weighed in and basically said she didn't provide any comedic material for the likes of Jimmy Fallon or Jon Stewart. Kirsten Powers said she didn't do any harm. I think George Will summed it up best when he quoted (I assume) Mother Goose .

A cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn.
Didn't do her any good, didn't do her any harm.

On to more football. The guest last night was Cris Carter. There was the obligatory discussion about jewelry, namely Cris Carter's ring. Stephen admired the ring and learned it was not a Super Bowl ring but a Hall of Fame ring. Kudos to Stephen for giving the ring back to Cris Carter after trying it on. They talked a lot about football, what it takes to be a good wide receiver (large hands). And they even played a little football. They had good football chemistry and were even able to use Cris Carter's book, "Going Deep: How Wide Receivers Became the Mose Compelling Figures in Pro Sports," to play a little football type catch.

At the end of the show, Stephen paid tribute to Pete Seeger who died this week. He was 94 years old. Stephen had a clip from when he and Pete Seeger sang the song "If I Had a Hammer" from Pete Seeger's appearance on the show. He was an American treasure.

Pumpkin Patch

It's all about football this week and Stephen is making the most of it with his Superb Owl coverage. Last night he compared being a Quarterback to attending his daily staff meetings. So, it's definitely something he would be able to do, with just a little bit of training. To prepare for Quarterbacking, Stephen interviewed famous football coach of the Washington team, Joe Gibbs. The interview went so well that Joe Gibbs actually "gave" Stephen one of his Super Bowl rings! Although Joe Gibbs said it takes a lot of work to get a Super Bowl ring, Stephen contradicted him by saying you just have to ask for one. Good point, Stephen.

If you did not actually watch the show last night, you should check it out at Colbert Nation if only to watch Stephen's Raw Athleticism as he walks down a flight of stairs.

Stephen was trained by Steve Clarkson in the finer points of quarterbacking. He gave Stephen several good pointers, including, "Your balance is off." Other training tips included:

* Own the Room
* Hold the Ball
* Feel the Rush
* Quarterback Walk

Stephen also had to endure a training exercise where he was blindfolded while be pummeled mercilessly and he came out of that with all the dignity that you would expect from him. For safety purposes, Stephen used the popular safe word Pumpkin Patch.

In the Owl portion of the show, or the Superb Owl portion, Stephen had David Yarnold, President of National Audubon Society on to talk about a Superb Owl. Also on was Erin with her friend Sophia the Barred Owl. The Barred Owl is taking over the habitat of the Spotted Owl, which naturally made Stephen think that therefore the Barred Owl is the Superb Owl. David Yarnold explained that it could be more of a problem with habitat degeneration. He also talked about owls in general. They have amazing wings which allow them to fly nearly silently to catch their prey. They can see quite well at night. And they can turn their head 270 degrees. I tried to do that and I'm going to have a stiff neck for a while. Ouch.

Owls and football were the themes on the show last night and Stephen brought it all together in a touching moment when he attempted to have Sophia the Owl predict the outcome of the upcoming Big Game by predicting the winner by choosing a rabbit. Sadly, there were technical difficulties.

Stephen's guest last night was Justin Tuck. Stephen was cordial and pleasant which was a good idea. Stephen learned quite a bit about the sport of football and Justin Tuck. Although Justin Tuck won't be playing in the Big Game, the Big Game will be played on his home field. Stephen presented a scenario where the new York Giants could win this year's Big Game. That would be a first.

Superb Owl

Apparently you can get in a lot of trouble for saying Super Bowl. It's all about copyright infringement and stuff like that. So Stephen, in talking about the Big Game, just moved a letter. So, when he is saying Superb Owl, you know what he is talking about. It was worth watching if only to see what his opening segment would be like for the Superb Owl. Can you say Twerk?

Stephen talked about making his "48 Meat Chili" for the big party. Wish he would have given us the recipe. If you need something for all your foot and ball friends, you can try my Holy Smoke Satan Sandwich Recipe. I haven't actually ever made it, so I don't know what it tastes like, but you're welcome to give it a try.

Stephen talked about some of the Grammy winners and mentioned/bragged that they had all gotten the "The Colbert Bump." And then he mentioned who one of the other big winners was. "Me." And by me I of course mean Stephen Colbert referring to himself.

That means he has won all of the coveted EGOT awards. You know, the Emmy, Grammy, Other Grammy, and The People's Choice Award.

Nate Silver was Stephen's guest. You may know him from his Five Thirty Eight Blog. He impressed us previously with picking presidents. Now he is back to picking winning sports teams. The big Game coming up soon has two great teams and we are all hoping it doesn't come down to the Supreme Court deciding who the winner was.

It's James, I Grew Up in Seattle

Net Neutrality. I'm not sure whether I'm for it or against it. I guess I'm kind of on the fence. Stephen had Tim Wu, author of "The Master Switch - The Rise and Fall of Information Empires," on to talk about it. And he claims to have coined the phrase Net Neutrality. As seems to happen over and over again, free speech is all about the money.

"The Banquet." Yes, it makes you look forward to a great meal, but over in China, "The Banquet" is basically a complete ripoff (paraphrase of what Stephen said) of The Colbert Report. Well, it's in Chinese, and it's about eggs, which is funny. But while you might think Stephen would be very upset, he is actually quite pleased. "Only the biggest hits get Chinese bootlegged!"

In order to try to gain the favor and adoration of the large audience in China, Stephen (again) fired Jay the Intern and brought out his new intern JaMes who seems to be Chinese. He offered to get coffee for Stephen, but Stephen asked for tea, by which he meant coffee. Poor Jay. He works so hard and all he ever gets is the short end of the deal.

Anyway, Stephen demanded that he be invited to be on the show "The Banquet." Who knows? It could happen.

Stephen's real guest, (not that Tim Wu is not real, but he was on in the first part of the show and so not so much the guest as just someone Stephen talked to), was Patricia A. Churchland. Her latest book is "Touching a Nerve: The Self as Brain." Is it possible that we are not so much a product of our environment and upbringing, but rather the result of electrical and chemical stuff going on in our brains? To illustrate that possibility, she and Stephen had a wonderful discussion about different kinds of voles from which Stephen deduced that the Prairie Vole is a Christian. I'm not sure that's where Patricia A. Churchland was going with her book, but, hey Stephen is entitled to say what he wants since it is his show.

Cookies Are Wonderful, Cookies Are Fantastic

Of course everyone knows that NASA's Opportunity rover is up on Mars looking around at everything there. Recently a jelly doughnut appeared. No, not really. It seems to be a rock that looks like a jelly doughnut. Or is is something other than a rock? How could a rock move from place to place? It wasn't there and then it was. So, could it be a Martian? I don't think we will ever find out. And besides that, Stephen, in a split moment of utter lack of impulse control, destroyed any hope we might have had for diplomatic ties with Mars and Martians.

As if that wasn't depressing enough, Air Force officers at a Montana nuclear missile base are having problems with drugs and cheating, mainly that they are doing both of those things. Stephen explained it all in Tip/Wag. He also told us that that dog and pony show, The Westminster Kennel Club show, is now letting plain old regular mutts in. I don't like to use that word since after all, we all know what dog spelled backwards is. (Dogs are special.) But Stephen did report on it so I am too. But all was forgiven once Stephen brought out a cute, cute dog. Good doggie.

How about this idea? Use the trainers from Westminster Kennel Club to train those people who are up in Montana. I think those Westminster people could teach them a thing or two about obedience. Maybe they just need to run around a bit and work off some extra energy. And then the dogs could go to Montana and, and... No. That is not a good idea. Ignore this paragraph.

Stephen had a guest on last night to talk about a book he wrote. He does that a lot. Almost every show he has someone on who has just written a book and they talk about it. It's almost like a habit of Stephen's. Last night's guest was Charles Duhigg talking about the book, "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business." This looks like a book that I will go out and buy. Seems quite interesting.

Did you know that about 40% to 45% of what we do every day is habit? It's true because Charles Duhigg said it to Stephen last night. And those percentages are from a survey, so that tells you for sure it is true. By knowing that what we are doing is a habit, and by knowing what reward we expect to get from that habit, we can change our habits and turn bad habits into good habits.