Matthew, Marketing, Luke and John

It seems like it's been forever since the show was on. I have been so busy. And so much has happened. But enough about me.

Stephen did take time to welcome Jon Stewart back to his own Daily Show which was a generous gesture on his part. I admit I have missed Jon Stewart just as much as I have missed Stephen, maybe even more since Jon was gone for a longer period of time.

Speaking of Italy, that's where Stephen spent his summer vacation! After a bit of Roman culture, not much, Stephen transformed his desk into a motor car, donned goggles and scarf and took off motoring while not really going anywhere. Unfortunately, with his glasses off and goggles on, he screwed up what was on the teleprompter big time. Not 10 minutes into the show and he blew it.

All this car business was just his way to introduce his 73rd installment of Better Know a District. Tonight it was Michigans 5th District - the Fighting Fifth.Representing Flint Michigan and the rest of the 5th is Congressman Dan Kildee. To help us better understand the importance of Unions in America and what they accomplish for workers and for our economy, Stephen played the part of a Union worker. No sooner did Congressman Kildee start talking with Stephen in the role of Union worker than Stephen informed him he was Latina, a lesbian, from Minnesota and a felon, so he's not going to be voting for Dan Kildee anyway. What a waste of time!

Stephen's guest tonight was the 2nd most famous Catholic in the US, Timothy Cardinal Dolan. You all know who the most famous Catholic is, right? If not, you shouldn't be reading this blog. Cardinal Dolan has written an e-book, "Praying in Rome - Reflections on the Conclave and Electing Pope Francis." Stephen assumed it would be a tell-all about how the Pope is chosen and how everyone voted, but he was somewhat disappointed. What he did tell Stephen is that the first thing done when the doors closed was to pray.You see, the Holy Spirit had already chosen the new Pope. All the guys there had to figure out was who the Holy Spirit had picked.

The new Pope Francis seems a bit too easy-going for Stephen and too soft on sin. For example, when asked about homosexuality, Pope Francis said, "Who am I to judge?"

Stephen asked Cardinal Dolan a hypothetical question. "If you could be Pope, what name would you choose?"

Cardinal Dolan thought for a few seconds and then calmly replied, "Stephen."