Bonus Song at Colbert Nation

Do you have a Smile File? Stephen does and tonight he talked about Ariel Castro. He wasn't the only person paying attention to that. So was Eric Bolling of Fox News "The Five." He is something of a math whiz as evidenced by his computations indicating how much money we probably will save by not needing to spend money on Castro. Mr. Bolling also came up with some other computations about saving money, but heck, anyone can come up with money to save if you are willing to think outside the box. For example, we could all save money on car purchases plus get great exercise if we were willing to drive a car like Fred Flintstone's car.

So, how's the old living room sofa holding up? If it's time for a new couch, may I suggest a bulletproof davenport? You can get one that stores a ton of guns under the cushions - locked, not just stuck under the cushions. Plus, as an added bonus, the cushions are bullet-proof. Only drawback is that you have to convince the home invader to only aim at the cushions, not at your head and not at your lower extremity.

Of course, Stephen also has a good idea for those who like to combine home furniture and home safety. Get a Barca Launcher. Simply tape a long knife to your head with the blade pointing up and away from you. Then, if an intruder intrudes, just launch yourself by use of that lever on the side of the Barca Launcher. There's a lever on the left and a lever on the right. Be sure not to mix up which one reclines and which one launches. Don't ask Stephen, he's not exactly sure.

John Prine was Stephen's guest for the last show of this week. He is a grammy-winning folk singer, but did you know he started out as a mailman? He found that being a singer brought in more money, so that's why you won't be getting your mail from him. As is often the case with folk music, he likes to keep it simple. Singing and a guitar, but absolutely no twerking.

One of Stephen's favorite John Prine songs is "How Lucky." The lyrics suggest there's a lot of things he can't remember. Stephen wanted to know what it is that he can't remember. Unfortunaely, John Prine was unable to remember those things. John Prine performed "How Lucky" and there is, as usual, a bonus song over at Colbert Nation.

Probably wait until tomorrow to find the bonus song. It's not going to be there right after the show is done. But bonus songs always show up by the next day.