Rodents For Romney

President Barack Obama may have lots of Hollywood stars supporting him, but Mitt Romney has the all important squirrel vote. Sounds like a done deal to me.

I think this could be because Mitt Romney has an ambitious agenda. This is what Mitt Romney has been saying he will do on that all important Day One. (Not to be confused with One Day or someday.)

3/31 Repeal Obamacare
6/15 Americans back to work
12/16 Label China a currency manipulator
6/14 Get approval for pipeline from Canada
6/14 Put a halt to all regulations from Obama years

(Let me just put in a word about regulations. It can be cheaper to make things and sell things without all those pesky regulations getting in the way. Regulations such as food safety for example. None of us want to have exploding ketchup. Am I right or am I right???  So, let's not be so quick to get rid of regulations. Just sayin'.)

Stephen just happens to have Mitt Romney's Day One Schedule:

January 20, 2013
8:00 a.m. to Noon  ---  Inauguration
12:30 --- Appoint Cabinet
1:00  ---  Take photo for White House ID
1:07  ---  Retake Photo!!!!
1:45  ---  Repeal Obamacare
2:30  ---  Examine remains of Roswell Aliens
3:00  ---  Unwrap Oval Office label maker
3:15  ---  Label China a currency manipulator
4:00  ---  Pick nuclear launch codes: Zip code+Ann's birthday (?)
6:00  ---  Take down Biden's Old Eric Estrada posters
6:15  ---  Get everyone in America a job
8:00  ---  Activate self-deportation
9:00  ---  Immigration solved
10:00 --- With Presidency completed, resign and attend inauguration of President Ryan


Corn may be something you think of as eating with your meat loaf and mashed potatoes. But it is important for so many more reasons that just a food for supper. Stuff, lots of stuff, is made from corn, including candy. That is turning out to be a better meal option for cows. Yes, cows are turning away from, or being turned away from, corn and instead eating candy corn. It may seem appropriate at this time of year to be reporting about candy corn, but it is even more timely than that. Stephen took us to Mitchell, South Dakota and uncovers every kernel of truth about the Corn Palace there. Due to the drought, there is not as much corn, and as a result, the Corn Palace will not have as many colors this year. It's sad, so sad. I'm heartbroken.

Guests on the show Thursday night were The Killers. According to Wikipedia's entry about The Killers, their band originated in Las Vegas. Obviously what happens in Las Vegas doesn't necessarily stay in Las Vegas. (They have been traveling around to lots of cities playing their music and singing!) If you did not see them on The Colbert Report, you can always go over to Colbert Nation to view recent episodes.