It was the rerun tonight from Stephen's last show before he went on vacation. That's the show that he had the WOI-DT news team to help him with Parry with an A-Gate.
It's also the episode where Stephen showed footage of Anderson Cooper. Apparently Anderson Cooper can't keep his cool on the air while reporting about Gerard Depardieu. I don't know which is funnier - a TV news person laughing at a story or a comedian laughing at his own joke. Regardless of which one is funnier for the audience, it does seem that once a person gets to laughing in a situation where they should not laugh, it becomes almost impossible to stop laughing and get serious again.
It reminds me of that episode on the old sit com Mary Tyler Moore Show about "Chuckles Bites the Dust." If you would like to watch part of it, head on over to YouTube to Watch part of that show. You can also see Betty White in her younger days.
I'm also reminded that sometimes Stephen seems to be unable to control his laughter, so perhaps he had better be a little bit careful about mocking Anderson Cooper.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Colbert on Vacation - Day Eleven
Hawaii was most likely overcrowded with tourists, so for a complete change of scene, I am recommending that Stephen go to Area 51 in Nevada for his vacation stop today. Granted there won't be quite as much scenery, shopping or restaurants, but perhaps Stephen could do a bit of investigative reporting while there.
The first thing I would recommend is that he get familiar with the area of Area 51 by looking at Google Maps for "Area 51." View the Satellite map and use good old Mr. Pegman to get an idea of the scenery. Most interesting is the lovely waterfalls at the center of the "X" on Groom Dry Lake. Just amazing that there could be such lush greenery and crystal clear blue water out there in the desert. But it must be true because there are other photos of ferns and moss and more waterfalls. And, if it's on the internet, it must be true.
While some of the area is hilly and rocky, there are plenty of straight roads that would be great for bike rides. There's also plenty of places for horseback riding, rock collecting, and in the wee hours of the morning, star gazing. And, as for souvenirs, I have seen a shirt online that I assume would be available in one of the Gift Shops there. It says, "What happens in Area 51, Stays in Area 51."
I couldn't find many hotels or Bed and Breakfasts close to Area 51, so I'm thinking camping would be a fun and economical alternative for lodging. To go along with the camping, I also suggest that Stephen bring something that he can hunt small mammals with and do the old hunting and cooking over an open fire trick. Nothing like sleeping out in a tent under the stars and hunting your own food to work up an appetite.
The first thing I would recommend is that he get familiar with the area of Area 51 by looking at Google Maps for "Area 51." View the Satellite map and use good old Mr. Pegman to get an idea of the scenery. Most interesting is the lovely waterfalls at the center of the "X" on Groom Dry Lake. Just amazing that there could be such lush greenery and crystal clear blue water out there in the desert. But it must be true because there are other photos of ferns and moss and more waterfalls. And, if it's on the internet, it must be true.
While some of the area is hilly and rocky, there are plenty of straight roads that would be great for bike rides. There's also plenty of places for horseback riding, rock collecting, and in the wee hours of the morning, star gazing. And, as for souvenirs, I have seen a shirt online that I assume would be available in one of the Gift Shops there. It says, "What happens in Area 51, Stays in Area 51."
I couldn't find many hotels or Bed and Breakfasts close to Area 51, so I'm thinking camping would be a fun and economical alternative for lodging. To go along with the camping, I also suggest that Stephen bring something that he can hunt small mammals with and do the old hunting and cooking over an open fire trick. Nothing like sleeping out in a tent under the stars and hunting your own food to work up an appetite.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round
Tonight's rerun was from August 11. So, we got to see the "Vote for Rick Parry" ad again! And we learned again about the shenanigans of WOI-DT.
Also, Stephen talked about Sarah Palin and her Bus Tour, or should I say, Family Vacation. That got me to thinking. What if Sarah had invited Stephen to tour along on the bus while he is on vacation? Think of the fun they could have! Discussing Politics. Talking about their favorite moments in American History. Singing American Folk Songs like Yankee Doodle.
Stephen could give her pointers about running for President. After all, he did run last time, or at least he gave it his best effort. And then as sort of a thank-you for all the advice, Palin could ask Stephen to be her running mate.
Well, if that does happen, remember, you heard it here first!
Also, Stephen talked about Sarah Palin and her Bus Tour, or should I say, Family Vacation. That got me to thinking. What if Sarah had invited Stephen to tour along on the bus while he is on vacation? Think of the fun they could have! Discussing Politics. Talking about their favorite moments in American History. Singing American Folk Songs like Yankee Doodle.
Stephen could give her pointers about running for President. After all, he did run last time, or at least he gave it his best effort. And then as sort of a thank-you for all the advice, Palin could ask Stephen to be her running mate.
Well, if that does happen, remember, you heard it here first!
Colbert on Vacation - Day Ten
If Stephen has been taking my suggestions of where to go while on his vacation, he may be thinking it's time for someplace warm. So today I'm going to recommend he go to Hawaii. Although it is a small state, there's lots to see and do, so he will have to limit himself to just a few activities. I'm going to suggest he learns how to hula dance, kayak, surf, and snorkel. He can even snorkel with Green Sea Turtles! (Here's a little information about Green Sea Turtles.)That will keep him busy. For more relaxing activities, he can do some sightseeing.
One place he just must visit is Volcanoes National Park. It would be really cool to see. No, wait, that's probably wrong, it would be hot. Well, it would be interesting to see. He should bring a jar with him, and if no one is looking, scoop up some of the lava flowing by for a souvenir - a free souvenir!
If Stephen does all those activities I suggested, then he deserves to sit around on the beach and soak up the sun. One possibility is Hapuna Beach State Park. It's one of the Big Island's biggest white sand beaches. He can even build sand castles, or let all the friendly beach goers build a monument to his glory all around him. Hopefully someone will help dig him out when it's all done. Hopefully!
Then he can head to the other side of the island to Punaluu Black Sand Beach. And he should bring more jars or bags or boxes and bring samples of both kinds of sand back. It would even be a good idea to bring enough sand back of each kind to use for sandboxes. That would be so much more fun that the brown sand kids typically have in sandboxes. I hope that wouldn't be too heavy in his suitcases.
Anything else Stephen is interested in, he can find at the Go Hawaii website.
One place he just must visit is Volcanoes National Park. It would be really cool to see. No, wait, that's probably wrong, it would be hot. Well, it would be interesting to see. He should bring a jar with him, and if no one is looking, scoop up some of the lava flowing by for a souvenir - a free souvenir!
If Stephen does all those activities I suggested, then he deserves to sit around on the beach and soak up the sun. One possibility is Hapuna Beach State Park. It's one of the Big Island's biggest white sand beaches. He can even build sand castles, or let all the friendly beach goers build a monument to his glory all around him. Hopefully someone will help dig him out when it's all done. Hopefully!
Then he can head to the other side of the island to Punaluu Black Sand Beach. And he should bring more jars or bags or boxes and bring samples of both kinds of sand back. It would even be a good idea to bring enough sand back of each kind to use for sandboxes. That would be so much more fun that the brown sand kids typically have in sandboxes. I hope that wouldn't be too heavy in his suitcases.
Anything else Stephen is interested in, he can find at the Go Hawaii website.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Rush Limbaugh Meet Weather Balloon
Stephen Colbert is still on vacation, so reruns are still on The Colbert Report. Tonight's episode was the one with Ric Ocasek.
But also on was a short clip of Rush Limbaugh from July 20, 2011 where he gets all heated up about heat. He seems to think it's some kind of government conspiracy. I think his confusion comes from not understanding what words mean.
Here's what he said. (And hopefully I have all the words right. I know my heart is in the right place.)
***************************************************
"They're playing games with us on this heat wave again.
Gonna be 116 in Washington.
No it's not.
It's gonna be, like, 100, maybe 99.
The heat index, manufactured by the government, to tell you what it feels like, when you add the humidity in there.
116.
When's the last time the heat index was reported as an actual temperature?
It hasn't been.
But it looks like they're trying to get away with doing that now."
***************************************************
First of all, Rush, the heat index wouldn't be reported as an actual temperature because it isn't. And you know that to be the case because you yourself said so. Just read it again.
"The heat index, manufactured by the government, to tell you what it feels like, when you add the humidity in there."
So the temperature would be reported as the temperature and the heat index would be reported as the heat index.
Poor Rush Limbaugh. He thinks sweat is a secret government conspiracy. Here's the deal, Rush, when you do work outside on a hot day, such as cutting the grass, you get hot and you sweat. But that's okay because that helps to cool you as the sweat evaporates. However, if it is really humid, your sweat won't evaporate and thus you don't get any cooling effect and you feel really really really hot.
So, it's really "cool" that someone came up with a plan to let us know if we are going to sweat a lot. I suppose Rush doesn't actually cut his grass at his house. He probably has "people" to do that. So, he doesn't really care how hot or it is, other that to give him something to let off steam about.
But I sincerely hope this helps clear the air for him on the difference between the heat index and temperature during a heat wave.
But also on was a short clip of Rush Limbaugh from July 20, 2011 where he gets all heated up about heat. He seems to think it's some kind of government conspiracy. I think his confusion comes from not understanding what words mean.
Here's what he said. (And hopefully I have all the words right. I know my heart is in the right place.)
***************************************************
"They're playing games with us on this heat wave again.
Gonna be 116 in Washington.
No it's not.
It's gonna be, like, 100, maybe 99.
The heat index, manufactured by the government, to tell you what it feels like, when you add the humidity in there.
116.
When's the last time the heat index was reported as an actual temperature?
It hasn't been.
But it looks like they're trying to get away with doing that now."
***************************************************
First of all, Rush, the heat index wouldn't be reported as an actual temperature because it isn't. And you know that to be the case because you yourself said so. Just read it again.
"The heat index, manufactured by the government, to tell you what it feels like, when you add the humidity in there."
So the temperature would be reported as the temperature and the heat index would be reported as the heat index.
Poor Rush Limbaugh. He thinks sweat is a secret government conspiracy. Here's the deal, Rush, when you do work outside on a hot day, such as cutting the grass, you get hot and you sweat. But that's okay because that helps to cool you as the sweat evaporates. However, if it is really humid, your sweat won't evaporate and thus you don't get any cooling effect and you feel really really really hot.
So, it's really "cool" that someone came up with a plan to let us know if we are going to sweat a lot. I suppose Rush doesn't actually cut his grass at his house. He probably has "people" to do that. So, he doesn't really care how hot or it is, other that to give him something to let off steam about.
But I sincerely hope this helps clear the air for him on the difference between the heat index and temperature during a heat wave.
Colbert on Vacation - Day Nine
It's time to head across the pond again, this time to Denmark! Stephen can start here at Visit Denmark to get some good ideas for seeing the sights in Denmark. He might like to start by clicking on the "Read more about Copenhagen" link to watch a video about how much the Danes love bicycles. It's easy to find everything on this website that a person could possibly need to know to vacation in Denmark. Tourist Information, Travel, Accommodation, Activities and Map are at the top of the page with lots more to see on the drop down menus.
And what could be more interesting to see while in Denmark than Legoland? It's the 3rd most popular attraction in Denmark! Other attractions in the top 25 include Tivoli, Dyrehavsbakken, Zoo Copenhagen, The Round Tower, and Egeskov Castle.
If Stephen needs to do a little bit of research about Denmark before he visits, there's always Wikipedia's entry on Denmark or the CIA World Factbook about Denmark.
And what could be more interesting to see while in Denmark than Legoland? It's the 3rd most popular attraction in Denmark! Other attractions in the top 25 include Tivoli, Dyrehavsbakken, Zoo Copenhagen, The Round Tower, and Egeskov Castle.
If Stephen needs to do a little bit of research about Denmark before he visits, there's always Wikipedia's entry on Denmark or the CIA World Factbook about Denmark.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Colbert on Vacation - Day Eight
Iceland.
Really? Yes, really. Stephen should go to Iceland. I bet he has never been there before and probably doesn't actually know that much about Iceland. So, first off, here's a little bit about Iceland from Wikipedia. Actually, there's quite a lot of information there. For people who like their information concise and to the point, The CIA has tons of information about countries that they share on their website. Here's what the CIA's World Factbook says about Iceland.
But, maybe Stephen already knows all that stuff about Iceland and just wants to get out and about and enjoy himself in Iceland. Here's a tourist website about Iceland with photos to get you interested in visiting plus lots of links to enjoy a vacation in Iceland. And Stephen will need a sweater or light jacket today, but it's not as is if is always ice cold in Iceland. The temperature in Reykjavik is about 10C which I am told is equal to about 50F, so not bad at all.
Probably first on Stephen's list of souvenirs to buy in Iceland will be ice cubes. Then some ice cream, and maybe even a Sno-Cone. I am also quite sure he will want to visit some of the many museums in Iceland, including the Aquarium and Museum of Natural History, the Library of Water, one of the Maritime Museums, Petra's Stone Collection, and the Icelandic Phallological Museum. Stephen can find links to those museums and others at the Visit Iceland website.
Really? Yes, really. Stephen should go to Iceland. I bet he has never been there before and probably doesn't actually know that much about Iceland. So, first off, here's a little bit about Iceland from Wikipedia. Actually, there's quite a lot of information there. For people who like their information concise and to the point, The CIA has tons of information about countries that they share on their website. Here's what the CIA's World Factbook says about Iceland.
But, maybe Stephen already knows all that stuff about Iceland and just wants to get out and about and enjoy himself in Iceland. Here's a tourist website about Iceland with photos to get you interested in visiting plus lots of links to enjoy a vacation in Iceland. And Stephen will need a sweater or light jacket today, but it's not as is if is always ice cold in Iceland. The temperature in Reykjavik is about 10C which I am told is equal to about 50F, so not bad at all.
Probably first on Stephen's list of souvenirs to buy in Iceland will be ice cubes. Then some ice cream, and maybe even a Sno-Cone. I am also quite sure he will want to visit some of the many museums in Iceland, including the Aquarium and Museum of Natural History, the Library of Water, one of the Maritime Museums, Petra's Stone Collection, and the Icelandic Phallological Museum. Stephen can find links to those museums and others at the Visit Iceland website.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Colbert on Vacation - Day Seven
Stephen should still be in Montreal, vacationing a bit and resting a bit. Hopefully he has gotten to know Montreal somewhat. If he needs more ideas, here's websites of really cool places to visit.
The Montreal Botanical Garden is one of the world's largest and most spectacular gardens. There are many different styles of gardens that visitors can see as they leisurely walk and enjoy the serenity and beauty all around.
Montreal Biodome - Stephen will enjoy all the different climates and the animals that enjoy each climate.
Biosphere - an Environment Museum.
Granby Zoo - Fish your face.
Central Station at the Bonaventure Metro Stop - with really neat restaurants and shops. Stephen can find the most delicious bread, cookies and rolls at the bakery here. He can also catch the train or head to the next Metro station.
Habitat 67 - not your typical apartment or condo. You can see it from Old Montreal.
Hurricane Irene
If Stephen was not on vacation, he would urge you to donate to help all the people that will be affected by Hurricane Irene.
So, go over to American Red Cross and see how you can help. There are other organizations that you can also donate to, but as always, be vigilant. Make sure the organization is legitimate.
So, go over to American Red Cross and see how you can help. There are other organizations that you can also donate to, but as always, be vigilant. Make sure the organization is legitimate.
Colbert on Vacation - Day Six
Okay, here's the plan for Stephen's vacation now. I'm starting to realize that with as many different places that I have suggested for Stephen to go to on his vacation, he might be getting tired of all the travel. So, for Saturday and Sunday, I'm recommending he go to Montreal for two days! It should be far enough away from Hurricane Irene that he should be safe. And there most certainly is enough for him to do to keep busy for two days.
The first thing Stephen should do is visit the Tourisme-montreal.org website. It has one of the coolest travel videos - Montreal in Two Minutes - that I've seen in a long time. He should watch it. You should go watch it, too. As a bonus, you can also read the website in French so that's pretty cool.
Next, he needs to find a place to stay. My recommendation for him is Fairmont the Queen Elizabeth. If by chance the Queen did come from England to Montreal, and if by chance Stephen was having breakfast in the hotel restaurant and she just happened to be there, Stephen could make quite an impression on her because he has had etiquette training before.
It's easy and fun to get around in Montreal. First of all, there are lots of subways in the downtown area. Basically it's an underground shopping center that keeps going and going and going. Then there's the Metro - the STM so that he can get anywhere without having to do a lot of walking or worry about finding a parking place.
In the evening, Stephen should do something very relaxing. Perhaps he could go for a swim in the pool. Or maybe he would want to take the opportunity to just take a shower, have a glass of wine and read a good book. Or plan his day for tomorrow.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Dedicate the Dream
My original plan for Saturday and Sunday was for Stephen to go to Washington D.C. and be a regular tourist there and also to be there for the Dedication of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial. However, this is what Harry E. Johnson, Sr., president and CEO of the Washington D.C. Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial Project Foundation, Inc. released about Dedication Day:
"In consultation with the National Park Service, the Mayor's office and FEMA, it is with a heavy heart and enormous disappointment that we announce that, in the interest of public safety, we are forced to change our plans."
The Dedication will be held sometime in September of October. For now, Stephen can visit www.DedicateTheDream.org.
"In consultation with the National Park Service, the Mayor's office and FEMA, it is with a heavy heart and enormous disappointment that we announce that, in the interest of public safety, we are forced to change our plans."
The Dedication will be held sometime in September of October. For now, Stephen can visit www.DedicateTheDream.org.
Colbert on Vacation - Day Five
Michigan, because it looks like a mitten. Well, no, that's not a very good reason to pick a vacation destination, but it is memorable. And I am told that if you ask someone from Michigan where they are from, typically they will hold up their hand like a mitten and show you exactly where they live. Of course there are the people who live in the Upper Peninsula, but then they probably just pull out a map and show you the old fashioned way.
Anyway, Stephen should go to Michigan today. I think it would be relaxing and for tomorrow I have a busy day planned. There is an excellent website for Michigan - Pure Michigan, Michigan's Official Travel and Tourism Site. I like this website a lot. After a quick pop up ad for tourism materials that you can click out of, you can see everything on one easy page. On the right hand margin are Featured Destinations such as Mackinac Island, Ann Arbor, Frankenmuth, Kalamazoo and Sault St. Marie. At the bottom of the page is probably the site map although they don't call it that. You can look at Regions, Places to Stay, Outdoors, Things To Do, Events, Deals, Featured Destinations (again), and Quick Links.
I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that Stephen visit the Soo Locks while in Michigan. If he went to Duluth in Minnesota, he might see the same ships here that he saw in Duluth. Well, no, that's not really possible in one day for the ships to travel from Duluth to the Soo Locks, but he could see some ships that had been in Duluth a few days ago or that will be in Duluth in a few days. While there he could visit all sorts of museums, and gift shops, go golfing or boating, and find all kinds of dining from fast-food chains to hometown cafes and restaurants.
Even if he's already been to that state, I think he should visit Michigan again.
Anyway, Stephen should go to Michigan today. I think it would be relaxing and for tomorrow I have a busy day planned. There is an excellent website for Michigan - Pure Michigan, Michigan's Official Travel and Tourism Site. I like this website a lot. After a quick pop up ad for tourism materials that you can click out of, you can see everything on one easy page. On the right hand margin are Featured Destinations such as Mackinac Island, Ann Arbor, Frankenmuth, Kalamazoo and Sault St. Marie. At the bottom of the page is probably the site map although they don't call it that. You can look at Regions, Places to Stay, Outdoors, Things To Do, Events, Deals, Featured Destinations (again), and Quick Links.
I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that Stephen visit the Soo Locks while in Michigan. If he went to Duluth in Minnesota, he might see the same ships here that he saw in Duluth. Well, no, that's not really possible in one day for the ships to travel from Duluth to the Soo Locks, but he could see some ships that had been in Duluth a few days ago or that will be in Duluth in a few days. While there he could visit all sorts of museums, and gift shops, go golfing or boating, and find all kinds of dining from fast-food chains to hometown cafes and restaurants.
Even if he's already been to that state, I think he should visit Michigan again.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Haboob
Stephen is on vacation, so we're watching reruns. Tonight was the episode about Monopoly (see No Dice No Money) if you are interested in Monopoly. It is a fun game.
But Stephen also had the Threat Down. One thing we need to be concerned about is foreign words creeping into our language. That's why we shouldn't be saying haboob which is an Arabic name for intense sand storm. I imagine a better word would be intensesandstorm. Much better and we can avoid getting any Sharia Weather.
Other suggestions from Stephen for replacing words from Arabic included freedom juice instead of alcohol, freedom neck instead of giraffe and osalad bin laden instead of alfafa. Perhaps other words we should stop using might include:
admiral
algebra
apricot
candy
coffee
cotton
guitar
lemon
lime
magazine
mattress
orange
scarlet
sugar
tangerine
tuna
You can view a more complete list of Arabic words used in English at Wikipedia.
We are reminded (again) by Stephen that he is no fan of the Department of Health and Human Services. I think it's the services part and the health and the human aspect of it that bothers him. In response to learning that such things as Birth Control for Women and Breastfeeding supplies will have to be covered by insurance, Stephen had this to say, "A woman's health decisions are a private matter between her priest and her husband."
But Stephen also had the Threat Down. One thing we need to be concerned about is foreign words creeping into our language. That's why we shouldn't be saying haboob which is an Arabic name for intense sand storm. I imagine a better word would be intensesandstorm. Much better and we can avoid getting any Sharia Weather.
Other suggestions from Stephen for replacing words from Arabic included freedom juice instead of alcohol, freedom neck instead of giraffe and osalad bin laden instead of alfafa. Perhaps other words we should stop using might include:
admiral
algebra
apricot
candy
coffee
cotton
guitar
lemon
lime
magazine
mattress
orange
scarlet
sugar
tangerine
tuna
You can view a more complete list of Arabic words used in English at Wikipedia.
We are reminded (again) by Stephen that he is no fan of the Department of Health and Human Services. I think it's the services part and the health and the human aspect of it that bothers him. In response to learning that such things as Birth Control for Women and Breastfeeding supplies will have to be covered by insurance, Stephen had this to say, "A woman's health decisions are a private matter between her priest and her husband."
Colbert on Vacation - Day Four
It's just a short hop, skip and jump north from Iowa to get to Minnesota. And today is the first day of the Great Minnesota Get-Together: Minnesota State Fair. According to Wikipedia, it is the largest state fair in terms of average daily attendance.
If Stephen goes today, he can see Reba in the Grandstand tonight. He won't get hungry because there is so much food to eat there, from Cheese on a Stick, Chan's Chicken on a Stick, Tino's Pizza on a Stick, and Walleye on a Stick to Juanita's Fajitas, Lynn's Lefse, Demetri's Greek Food, Henry's Kettle Korn, Thomasina's Cashew Brittle, or Sweet Martha's Cookie Jar. There's even Spam Burgers!
When Stephen has had enough to eat at the Minnesota State Fair, he can head further north to Duluth located on Lake Superior. He can watch the boats coming and going by the Aerial Lift Bridge located next to the Lake Superior Maritime Visitor Center (check out the webcam), visit the Great Lakes Aquarium, or go to the Lake Superior Zoo. If he gets hungry, he can eat at the Duluth Grill which was featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives on Food Network, or find other dining spots at Visit Duluth.
If he gets sick from eating too much good food at the Fair or in Duluth, he can head down south to Rochester and visit the Mayo Clinic. If he still has time on his hands while in Minnesota, he can find all sorts of things to do at Explore Minnesota - There's More to Explore in Minnesota.
I hope Stephen is enjoying his vacation and I hope he is using my suggestions for a great summer vacation.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Freak Out Mode
The rerun tonight was from August 8. Stephen and others talked about the Dow Jones and Wall Street. And while the talking heads on the cable news networks were close to declaring it to be a doomsday scenario, Stephen stayed very calm while he packed all his gold, weapons, and live chicken into his Emergency Hobo Satchel. All this because Standard & Poor's downgraded our credit rating from AAA to AA+. The thing we have to remember is that the advice is to always stay in the stock market for the long run. The market will go up and it will go down, but the people who do well diversify and stay in it for years.
So, don't panic.
Vivos Five Star Underground Bunker is having a hard time getting people to sign up for their Doomsday Vacation Chalet. Well that's what I would call it. It's in the Mojave Desert and costs $50,000 to reserve a room. Anyway, they now have a cheaper Economy version, but it isn't quite as nice or roomy, but at least it's cheaper. Yep, for only $9,950 you can get in on the deal. Instead of a nice queen sized bed, you get a bunk bed in a small room that you share with 3 others. And it's curtains instead of doors. Stephen compared it to freshman year at Bob Jones University.
And then of course, Stephen told us about his Live Box 10 from The Prescott Group in their Prescott Survival Division. Cost is a mere 30 installments of $9.99, you don't have to share, and it comes with tasty dried Survival Nuggets which is not to be confused with Alpo Prime Cuts.
The thing is. If everything goes to heck in a hand basket, how will people get to the Mojave Desert to get into their Luxury (or Economy) Bunker? Are the Vivos people going to wait for everyone to get in before they shut the door? And what about people who try to get in if they don't have a "reservation?" Just exactly how do you keep "those" people out of the bunker?
So, don't panic.
Dr. Nassir Ghaemi was on to talk about his book, "A First-Rate Madness." He thinks that having a little bit of a twist to your way of thinking can make for a good leader. He even had examples of great leaders who exhibited the traits he talked about.
And again, don't panic.
So, don't panic.
Vivos Five Star Underground Bunker is having a hard time getting people to sign up for their Doomsday Vacation Chalet. Well that's what I would call it. It's in the Mojave Desert and costs $50,000 to reserve a room. Anyway, they now have a cheaper Economy version, but it isn't quite as nice or roomy, but at least it's cheaper. Yep, for only $9,950 you can get in on the deal. Instead of a nice queen sized bed, you get a bunk bed in a small room that you share with 3 others. And it's curtains instead of doors. Stephen compared it to freshman year at Bob Jones University.
And then of course, Stephen told us about his Live Box 10 from The Prescott Group in their Prescott Survival Division. Cost is a mere 30 installments of $9.99, you don't have to share, and it comes with tasty dried Survival Nuggets which is not to be confused with Alpo Prime Cuts.
The thing is. If everything goes to heck in a hand basket, how will people get to the Mojave Desert to get into their Luxury (or Economy) Bunker? Are the Vivos people going to wait for everyone to get in before they shut the door? And what about people who try to get in if they don't have a "reservation?" Just exactly how do you keep "those" people out of the bunker?
So, don't panic.
Dr. Nassir Ghaemi was on to talk about his book, "A First-Rate Madness." He thinks that having a little bit of a twist to your way of thinking can make for a good leader. He even had examples of great leaders who exhibited the traits he talked about.
And again, don't panic.
Colbert on Vacation - Day Three
I - O - WA.
I think they should have spelled it IOA. Then they would have 3 letters and 3 syllables, but I digress.
Stephen should head to Iowa today. Most of the politicians have moved on, so it won't be quite as windy. There's lots to see besides the corn in Iowa. Biking, Festivals, Golf, Wine and Beer, State Parks, Bed and Breakfasts, Campgrounds, the list is nearly endless. Find out all about those things to do at Travel Iowa's website. There's many famous Iowans that you've probably heard of - President Herbert Hoover, Carrie Chapman Catt, Grant Wood, John Wayne, Ashton Kutcher, Elijah Wood, Donna Reed, Glenn Miller, and Meredith Wilson. And not a single one of them was a farmer who grew corn. So, yes, more really happens in Iowa besides corn growing.
And there's history to find out about. Effigy Mounds National Monument is located in northeast Iowa as is the Silos and Smokestacks National Heritage Area. Stephen can find out everything he ever wanted to know about Herbert Hoover at the Hoover Library and Museum in West Branch.
He could visit the capital of Iowa, Des Moines for a ton of stuff to do. He should look at the official website of the City of Des Moines and see the cute photo of a small white dog catching a red frisbee. Yep, it's about the Dog Park. Stephen knows all about dog parks.
Other fun, scenic, quaint or exciting towns to visit include Dubuque, Davenport, Cedar Rapids, Waterloo, and Decorah.
So, Stephen, pack that backpack and head back to Iowa.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice
Yes, another rerun. This time it's that episode after the Iowa Straw Poll - the one with Tim Pawlenty's TV ad from after he dropped out of the presidential race: Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing. So you can just read that post again if you want.
Also Susan Rice, the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations was on this episode. Here's that link again for lots of info about the United Nations. And here's something fun for all of you. Go to that link, then under "the BRIEFING ROOM" click on Photo Gallery. Now, it is possible the photos could change when you look, but I found a very familiar face in photo number 1. I'm not saying who it is, but I'm pretty sure you will recognize the person sitting at a table with Ambassador Susan Rice. And I think it goes to show what is really important to the people at the U.N.
And a reminder from Stephen. Text AID to 27722 which gives $10 directly to the U.N.'s World Food Program.
Also Susan Rice, the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations was on this episode. Here's that link again for lots of info about the United Nations. And here's something fun for all of you. Go to that link, then under "the BRIEFING ROOM" click on Photo Gallery. Now, it is possible the photos could change when you look, but I found a very familiar face in photo number 1. I'm not saying who it is, but I'm pretty sure you will recognize the person sitting at a table with Ambassador Susan Rice. And I think it goes to show what is really important to the people at the U.N.
And a reminder from Stephen. Text AID to 27722 which gives $10 directly to the U.N.'s World Food Program.
Colbert on Vacation - Day Two
Stephen needs to put some distance between him and the earthquake. He should fly over to jolly England. He has already been thoroughly trained in proper etiquette for meeting with the Queen of England, so he won't have any problems there. When he gets to England, he can just call the Queen and set up a visit if that's of interest to him. When he's done visiting with the Queen, he will find all sorts of other things to do to Enjoy England.
One thing he should be sure to look at is Stonehenge, that neat circle of stones that was built a really long time ago. Then, back to London for shopping, dining, and museums. He might want to take in a show or movie while there. Or perhaps he could spend some time visiting with Sherlock Holmes, or at least checking out the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
Well, lots to do in jolly old England, and the good news is that Stephen already knows the language so he should have no trouble talking with the people and finding his way around with a simple map.
One thing he should be sure to look at is Stonehenge, that neat circle of stones that was built a really long time ago. Then, back to London for shopping, dining, and museums. He might want to take in a show or movie while there. Or perhaps he could spend some time visiting with Sherlock Holmes, or at least checking out the Sherlock Holmes Museum.
Well, lots to do in jolly old England, and the good news is that Stephen already knows the language so he should have no trouble talking with the people and finding his way around with a simple map.
I Feel the Earth Move
I'm happy to say I didn't feel the earthquake. But if Stephen went to New York, as I suggested yesterday, he may have experienced some wobbliness. Perhaps when Stephen gets back to the show, he may want to have a door frame built over his chair to protect him in the event that there is another earthquake on the east coast.
If you want more information about earthquakes, you can check over at U.S. Geological Survey website. It's quite interesting. One of the top links shows the earthquakes in the Past 8-30 days. Wowie! There's a lot of earthquakes happening all the time. In addition, there's helpful guidelines on what to do during an earthquake and after an earthquake.
Here's a bit of news right now about this earthquake that was felt in New York, Washington D.C. and in many areas in the eastern half of the United States.
If you want more information about earthquakes, you can check over at U.S. Geological Survey website. It's quite interesting. One of the top links shows the earthquakes in the Past 8-30 days. Wowie! There's a lot of earthquakes happening all the time. In addition, there's helpful guidelines on what to do during an earthquake and after an earthquake.
Here's a bit of news right now about this earthquake that was felt in New York, Washington D.C. and in many areas in the eastern half of the United States.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Spiders in Your Hair
Yes, yes I know. Stephen is on vacation. But yet, through the miracle of reruns, he also is on The Colbert Report. It was the episode I wrote about in "Most Boring Addiction." That was back when Tim Pawlenty was still a presidential hopeful. Now he's just an ordinary citizen like you or me. Only difference is that he will be analyzed from now until the election is held in November of 2012. Already this appeared in his hometown newspaper, the Star Tribune, detailing what went wrong. It's an opinion piece by Lori Sturdevant: Pawlenty's Compromises but it seems to me to be not so much about compromises as shifts and changes or even, dare I say it (?), flip-flops. What if, indeed!
Stephen also talked about the Colbert Super PAC and even composed an email, while doing the show, to his Super PAC members as follows:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Subject: Spiders in Your Hair
Dear Future Victims,
They're doing it again and we have only seconds to stop them before you, your pets, and everyone you love could experience whatever it is you are most afraid of. And don't forget, earlier I used the phrase "spiders in your hair." Send me $25 right now to make a difference or send me $100 to make four differences. Or just let the bad guys win. Your choice. QUICK, LOOK BEHIND YOU.
Stephen Colbert
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I think that is Stephen's subtle way to remind everyone to send money to the Colbert Super PAC. Perhaps that's not really very subtle. I'll have to look up the definition of subtle. Maybe blatant would be the better word choice.
Stephen also talked about the Colbert Super PAC and even composed an email, while doing the show, to his Super PAC members as follows:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Subject: Spiders in Your Hair
Dear Future Victims,
They're doing it again and we have only seconds to stop them before you, your pets, and everyone you love could experience whatever it is you are most afraid of. And don't forget, earlier I used the phrase "spiders in your hair." Send me $25 right now to make a difference or send me $100 to make four differences. Or just let the bad guys win. Your choice. QUICK, LOOK BEHIND YOU.
Stephen Colbert
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I think that is Stephen's subtle way to remind everyone to send money to the Colbert Super PAC. Perhaps that's not really very subtle. I'll have to look up the definition of subtle. Maybe blatant would be the better word choice.
Colbert on Vacation - Day One
Where in the World is Stephen Colbert? Well, probably not Libya, that's for sure.
All I know is that he is on vacation. And so, as a public service to him, I will give him suggestions every day on where he should be spending his vacation and what he should be doing.
Today, he should visit New York City. Of course that should be quite easy for him to do. He works in New York City so he should know his way around. He should visit the American Museum of Natural History. While there, he can Journey to the Stars, find out about Herpetology at the Frogs: A Chorus of Colors, get scared out of his wits with a trip down Tornado Alley, or visit any of the other many fascinating "On Exhibit" displays.
He can also chat with friend of the show, Neil deGrasse Tyson. You can find out more about Neil deGrasse Tyson here. (See if you can spot the photo with Stephen on that last link.)
So, Stephen, if you don't know where to go and what to do, you will be able to just check here for your itinerary.
You're Welcome!
All I know is that he is on vacation. And so, as a public service to him, I will give him suggestions every day on where he should be spending his vacation and what he should be doing.
Today, he should visit New York City. Of course that should be quite easy for him to do. He works in New York City so he should know his way around. He should visit the American Museum of Natural History. While there, he can Journey to the Stars, find out about Herpetology at the Frogs: A Chorus of Colors, get scared out of his wits with a trip down Tornado Alley, or visit any of the other many fascinating "On Exhibit" displays.
He can also chat with friend of the show, Neil deGrasse Tyson. You can find out more about Neil deGrasse Tyson here. (See if you can spot the photo with Stephen on that last link.)
So, Stephen, if you don't know where to go and what to do, you will be able to just check here for your itinerary.
You're Welcome!
Information May Change Rapidly
I just looked at Wikipedia's entry about Libya. The first thing is a little box that says:
This article documents a current event. Information may change rapidly as the event progresses.
Following the links in that statement, you can get to the 2011 Battle of Tripoli.
School has started for some students at colleges and high schools. For other students, it will be just a few more days or weeks for them to get back to hitting the books. For them, this will most likely be a topic of much discussion. There's bound to be at least one teacher who gives an assignment to compare and contrast the American Revolution to the Battle of Tripoli.
Interesting to ponder that. What role did Paul Revere play? What role did Mark Zuckerberg play?
This article documents a current event. Information may change rapidly as the event progresses.
Following the links in that statement, you can get to the 2011 Battle of Tripoli.
School has started for some students at colleges and high schools. For other students, it will be just a few more days or weeks for them to get back to hitting the books. For them, this will most likely be a topic of much discussion. There's bound to be at least one teacher who gives an assignment to compare and contrast the American Revolution to the Battle of Tripoli.
Interesting to ponder that. What role did Paul Revere play? What role did Mark Zuckerberg play?
Breaking News
Khaddafy --- Qadhafi --- Gadhafi -- Whichever way you spell his name, he seems to be on the way out. His location is unknown at this time. His eldest son has been captured as has his brother. State TV had been playing old footage of pro-Khaddafy rallies but switched to a soap opera.
Things are moving quickly. This will be the top story in the morning TV shows and the headlines in most newspapers.
As always, when something like this happens, details may be sketchy, and the story may be updated over and over. There is rejoicing in the streets for now. Hopefully the infrastructure and day to day necessities will be able to be coordinated so that it will be a smooth transition.
I'm watching msnbc now. You can watch what's happening there. Or read about it at Reuters here. President Obama, on vacation (although when is the POTUS ever really on vacation?) is constantly briefed by national security advisers.
History is being made in Libya. Stephen Colbert is on vacation, so we will have to wait for two weeks to hear his view on the events happening there.
Things are moving quickly. This will be the top story in the morning TV shows and the headlines in most newspapers.
As always, when something like this happens, details may be sketchy, and the story may be updated over and over. There is rejoicing in the streets for now. Hopefully the infrastructure and day to day necessities will be able to be coordinated so that it will be a smooth transition.
I'm watching msnbc now. You can watch what's happening there. Or read about it at Reuters here. President Obama, on vacation (although when is the POTUS ever really on vacation?) is constantly briefed by national security advisers.
History is being made in Libya. Stephen Colbert is on vacation, so we will have to wait for two weeks to hear his view on the events happening there.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Soviet Union Should Beware of Michele Bachmann
Already I found something humorous or newsworthy. You decide which category it falls into.
Michele Bachmann is afraid of the Soviet Union. Read about it here.
Michele Bachmann is afraid of the Soviet Union. Read about it here.
Parry or Perry
There seems to be confusion over how to spell that name. It's exactly the type of confusion that Stephen Colbert could investigate and discover the reasons for the confusion and a good solution to that problem. Unfortunately, Stephen is on vacation. So, unless someone else figures it out, we will have to wait at least two weeks to know why this is happening.
That being said, Governor Rick Perry must be so proud of Katy Perry. She recently tied Michael Jackson's record for the most #1 singles from the same album. I'm quite sure that the Governor of Texas is telling everyone about her accomplishment.
And what about him? Katy Perry is undoubtedly pleased to see how well he did in the Iowa Straw Poll that happened recently in Ames, Iowa. Considering how many people live in Ames, not to mention Iowa and the United States, 718 votes is quite a showing. Of course, Ron Paul had 4,671 votes, but no one is paying any attention to him.
This will all play out over the next 14 long months. Anything that happens in the next two weeks will go unreported by Stephen who is, as I mentioned previously, on vacation. So, as stories develop and become newsworthy, I'll post that information here along with commentary if needed. Anything else that seems interesting or funny or weird may also show up here, depending on what strikes me as worth posting at the time.
So, stay tuned even though Stephen is on vacation. I'll keep writing. And, if by chance I happen to see him vacationing in my neck of the woods, I'll be sure to get some photos and post them here.
That being said, Governor Rick Perry must be so proud of Katy Perry. She recently tied Michael Jackson's record for the most #1 singles from the same album. I'm quite sure that the Governor of Texas is telling everyone about her accomplishment.
And what about him? Katy Perry is undoubtedly pleased to see how well he did in the Iowa Straw Poll that happened recently in Ames, Iowa. Considering how many people live in Ames, not to mention Iowa and the United States, 718 votes is quite a showing. Of course, Ron Paul had 4,671 votes, but no one is paying any attention to him.
This will all play out over the next 14 long months. Anything that happens in the next two weeks will go unreported by Stephen who is, as I mentioned previously, on vacation. So, as stories develop and become newsworthy, I'll post that information here along with commentary if needed. Anything else that seems interesting or funny or weird may also show up here, depending on what strikes me as worth posting at the time.
So, stay tuned even though Stephen is on vacation. I'll keep writing. And, if by chance I happen to see him vacationing in my neck of the woods, I'll be sure to get some photos and post them here.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
PARRY-with-an-A-GATE!
Stephen is still waiting to hear from Emmy-Awaiting ABC5 WOI-DT News Weather Sports in Des Moines, Iowa, about the results of the Multi-Hundred dollars ad campaign from the Colbert Super PAC. The PAC made a commercial and urged Iowa voters to write in Parry with an A. Now we all want to know: How many people spelled it with an A? We may have did it, but we don't know.
However, the Iowa GOP still refuses to release the results for public scrutiny. Stephen had proof positive on the show of at least one voter that wrote in Parry with an A.
Tonight he checked in with the all the stars at WOI:
Amanda Krenz
Rachel Pierce
John Walters
Brad Edwards
Katie Eastman
They are working on the story and following all leads. And they will continue to hunt down this story until Stephen gets his answers. More on this as it develops.
In other stories, the Barnstormers have named a new coach.
Stephen reported on the apparent laughing gas overdose of Anderson Cooper. And there must be a lot of that going around because Stephen had uncontrollable fits of laughter caused by merely seeing a photo of Steve Doocy. Maybe it's because Doocy was born in Iowa. I don't know.
Anyway, Stephen's guest was Kevin Mitnick who served 5 years in prison because of his computer crimes, you know - hacking. He started hacking in high
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi folks, Kevin Mitnick here. Please go out and buy my book "Ghost in the Wires - My Adventures as the World's Most Wanted Hacker." You can buy it at Barnes & Noble, and other fine bookstores. Thanks a lot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
school and just kept doing it. He even has written a book about it, "Ghost in the Wires - My Adventures as the World's Most Wanted Hacker." He continues to hack now, but it's on the up and up. He is a consultant and helps companies find their vulnerabilities so that they can fix it.
However, the Iowa GOP still refuses to release the results for public scrutiny. Stephen had proof positive on the show of at least one voter that wrote in Parry with an A.
Tonight he checked in with the all the stars at WOI:
Amanda Krenz
Rachel Pierce
John Walters
Brad Edwards
Katie Eastman
They are working on the story and following all leads. And they will continue to hunt down this story until Stephen gets his answers. More on this as it develops.
In other stories, the Barnstormers have named a new coach.
Stephen reported on the apparent laughing gas overdose of Anderson Cooper. And there must be a lot of that going around because Stephen had uncontrollable fits of laughter caused by merely seeing a photo of Steve Doocy. Maybe it's because Doocy was born in Iowa. I don't know.
Anyway, Stephen's guest was Kevin Mitnick who served 5 years in prison because of his computer crimes, you know - hacking. He started hacking in high
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi folks, Kevin Mitnick here. Please go out and buy my book "Ghost in the Wires - My Adventures as the World's Most Wanted Hacker." You can buy it at Barnes & Noble, and other fine bookstores. Thanks a lot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
school and just kept doing it. He even has written a book about it, "Ghost in the Wires - My Adventures as the World's Most Wanted Hacker." He continues to hack now, but it's on the up and up. He is a consultant and helps companies find their vulnerabilities so that they can fix it.
Colbert Bump for Salvatore Purpura?
I Googled Salvatore Purpura last night while Stephen was talking about him on The Colbert Report. I wish I would have paid closer attention because I think there were only about 70 or so hits on Google for Purpura. I'm not 100% positive, but there weren't many hits for Purpura. Today there are about 4,690. The only thing thing that has changed in the last 24 hours is that Stephen talked about Salvatore on his show. And yes, Stephen did mention that Politico had scooped him.
But still, I think Stephen did give Salvatore Purpura the Colbert Bump. And all Purpura had to do to get the Colbert Bump was to quit working for Stephen.
But still, I think Stephen did give Salvatore Purpura the Colbert Bump. And all Purpura had to do to get the Colbert Bump was to quit working for Stephen.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Salvatore Purpura
Goodbye Stephen Colbert. Hello Rick Parry.
No, Rick Parry is not taking over The Colbert Report. Didn't mean to scare you. Sorry.
Salvatore A. Purpura had been the Treasurer for the Colbert Super PAC. He quit (resigned) that job. Then, and who could have seen this coming (?), he took the job of Treasurer for Texas Governor and Presidential Hopeful Rick Parry. Stephen explained all about it and you can also read about it over at Politico.
(Warning, you might get sidetracked, like I did, and read a story that is not about Stephen Colbert. It sounded, well, weird.)
Stephen also had a short bit about Rick Santorum talking about marriage. Rick Santorum was comparing marriage to paper napkins and paper towels. He said you can call it what you want, but you can't define a paper towel as a paper napkin or vice versa. And Stephen was correct to note that Santorum would fully understand that you can't just up and redefine a word to mean something else. Who does that sort of thing?
The interview guest tonight was Jeff Bridges. I was going to say actor Jeff Bridges, but tonight he was singer Jeff Bridges. He sang quite nicely, looked very comfortable and at ease singing and playing the guitar. I'm often surprised when an actor sings or a singer acts, and yet I shouldn't be. With so many people trying to make a career in the entertainment industry, it just makes sense that the people who can sing AND act would be more likely to have a career in the performing arts.
And yes, you can go over to Colbert Nation and hear Jeff Bridges sing.
No, Rick Parry is not taking over The Colbert Report. Didn't mean to scare you. Sorry.
Salvatore A. Purpura had been the Treasurer for the Colbert Super PAC. He quit (resigned) that job. Then, and who could have seen this coming (?), he took the job of Treasurer for Texas Governor and Presidential Hopeful Rick Parry. Stephen explained all about it and you can also read about it over at Politico.
(Warning, you might get sidetracked, like I did, and read a story that is not about Stephen Colbert. It sounded, well, weird.)
Stephen also had a short bit about Rick Santorum talking about marriage. Rick Santorum was comparing marriage to paper napkins and paper towels. He said you can call it what you want, but you can't define a paper towel as a paper napkin or vice versa. And Stephen was correct to note that Santorum would fully understand that you can't just up and redefine a word to mean something else. Who does that sort of thing?
The interview guest tonight was Jeff Bridges. I was going to say actor Jeff Bridges, but tonight he was singer Jeff Bridges. He sang quite nicely, looked very comfortable and at ease singing and playing the guitar. I'm often surprised when an actor sings or a singer acts, and yet I shouldn't be. With so many people trying to make a career in the entertainment industry, it just makes sense that the people who can sing AND act would be more likely to have a career in the performing arts.
And yes, you can go over to Colbert Nation and hear Jeff Bridges sing.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Brilliant Not Manipulative
Tonight it seemed like the show was an hour long. There was lots of stuff!
So far, 53,000 people have responded and told Stephen what the Colbert Super PAC stands for. And because Stephen believes that Democracy stands for one man, one vote, and one dollar, Stephen had all the results compiled that took into account how much money people had donated. Some of the important things people think the Colbert Super PAC stand for are:
Health
Education
People
Government
Rights
Care
Tax
Stephen needs to incorporate all those ideas into advertisements and so he turned to Dr. Luntz, or Frank, as Stephen called him. If you choose your words correctly, you can influence how people think. For example "energy exploration" not "oil drilling". And "climate change" not "global warming". Stephen was impressed and said it is "brilliant" and not "manipulative."
Frank has a lot of practice using just the right word to get people to think or believe what he wants them to. (Or what Frank's clients want people to believe.) Here's the list of Eleven Words for 2011 that you probably will hear as we head into the 2012 elections:
1. Imagine
2. No excuses
3. I get it
4. If you remember only one thing
5. Uncompromising integrity
6. The simple truth
7. Believe in better
8. Real-time
9. You decide
10. You deserve
11. Let's get to work
Go read the article "The Eleven Words for 2011" to find out which one is all about truthiness! (I did notice that "I am Not a Witch" was NOT one of the Eleven Words.) And someone should tell Frank that "If you remember only one thing" is actually six words, not one word.
Frank told Stephen some important things to do to communicate with the people. Number one is Listen. And then for Stephen's benefit, he repeated it. Number one is Listen. He also told Stephen to focus, but not so much that he looked scary. It didn't take very long before Stephen had mastered how to pretend to look really sincere.
Another important lesson for Stephen to learn is what to do if he makes a really big mistake or does something wrong. (Never mind that Stephen does not make mistakes and that he does not ever do something that is wrong.) The advice from Frank is to say these three things:
1. I'm sorry.
2. I made a mistake.
3. Forgive me.
Dr. Frank Luntz has written books, the latest one being "Win." His parting words to Stephen were:
"You're dangerous."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moving on. > > > > > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The guest tonight was actually four people who are just out of this world. Well they were out of this world when the were the crew of the last Space Shuttle mission. That's right, none other than Commander Chris Ferguson, Colonel Doug Hurley, Colonel Rex Walheim, and Dr. Sandra Magnus. With the Space Shuttle program ending, we will have to hitch a ride with Russia if we want to go to outer space. The cost of that is around $63 million! Stephen recommended that they check with Priceline. After all, it's Captain Kirk on those commercials.
So, wow, a really interesting show tonight and you might want to go look at it online over at Colbert Nation. You can see NASA's Greatest Moments which had very little to do with NASA and more to do with science fiction and popular culture. Plus you could find out what gift Stephen received from the astronauts, or should I say "astronuts?"
So far, 53,000 people have responded and told Stephen what the Colbert Super PAC stands for. And because Stephen believes that Democracy stands for one man, one vote, and one dollar, Stephen had all the results compiled that took into account how much money people had donated. Some of the important things people think the Colbert Super PAC stand for are:
Health
Education
People
Government
Rights
Care
Tax
Stephen needs to incorporate all those ideas into advertisements and so he turned to Dr. Luntz, or Frank, as Stephen called him. If you choose your words correctly, you can influence how people think. For example "energy exploration" not "oil drilling". And "climate change" not "global warming". Stephen was impressed and said it is "brilliant" and not "manipulative."
Frank has a lot of practice using just the right word to get people to think or believe what he wants them to. (Or what Frank's clients want people to believe.) Here's the list of Eleven Words for 2011 that you probably will hear as we head into the 2012 elections:
1. Imagine
2. No excuses
3. I get it
4. If you remember only one thing
5. Uncompromising integrity
6. The simple truth
7. Believe in better
8. Real-time
9. You decide
10. You deserve
11. Let's get to work
Go read the article "The Eleven Words for 2011" to find out which one is all about truthiness! (I did notice that "I am Not a Witch" was NOT one of the Eleven Words.) And someone should tell Frank that "If you remember only one thing" is actually six words, not one word.
Frank told Stephen some important things to do to communicate with the people. Number one is Listen. And then for Stephen's benefit, he repeated it. Number one is Listen. He also told Stephen to focus, but not so much that he looked scary. It didn't take very long before Stephen had mastered how to pretend to look really sincere.
Another important lesson for Stephen to learn is what to do if he makes a really big mistake or does something wrong. (Never mind that Stephen does not make mistakes and that he does not ever do something that is wrong.) The advice from Frank is to say these three things:
1. I'm sorry.
2. I made a mistake.
3. Forgive me.
Dr. Frank Luntz has written books, the latest one being "Win." His parting words to Stephen were:
"You're dangerous."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moving on. > > > > > > >
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The guest tonight was actually four people who are just out of this world. Well they were out of this world when the were the crew of the last Space Shuttle mission. That's right, none other than Commander Chris Ferguson, Colonel Doug Hurley, Colonel Rex Walheim, and Dr. Sandra Magnus. With the Space Shuttle program ending, we will have to hitch a ride with Russia if we want to go to outer space. The cost of that is around $63 million! Stephen recommended that they check with Priceline. After all, it's Captain Kirk on those commercials.
So, wow, a really interesting show tonight and you might want to go look at it online over at Colbert Nation. You can see NASA's Greatest Moments which had very little to do with NASA and more to do with science fiction and popular culture. Plus you could find out what gift Stephen received from the astronauts, or should I say "astronuts?"
Google "Vote for Rick Parry"
Here's some fun if you like looking at Stephen Colbert's smiling face. Just Google "Vote for Rick Parry" and then click on Images. You will see so many Stephen Colberts that it will make your head spin. And many of those images will take you to various media sources, such as this one that goes to msnbc.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing
I did it! I predicted what Stephen would talk about on his show.
Okay, pretty much a no-brainer. The big news was the Straw Poll in Ames, Iowa, so naturally that's what Stephen went with. But my prediction was better than the AP, who apparently gave a lot of kudos to candidate XXX in one of their news stories.
Previously I had hoped there would be some analysis of the relationship between popular food and votes and to some extent, Stephen did have some number crunching concerning the delicious happenings in Ames. Michele Bachmann handed out 6,000 tickets at a cost of $180,000 to her campaign and by doing so was able to get 80% of the votes she paid for.
The Big Loser was Tim Pawlenty and Stephen did have his ground-breaking and inspirational video: Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing. And now everyone is wondering what Stephen is wondering. Who will get Pawlenty's supporter?
Of course none of this matters much compared to the Colbert Super PAC. It stole the show out in the middle of the state that is in the middle of the country. Texas Governor Rick Perry got 719 write-in votes and all of them were spelled Parry. Actually, technically, no one knows since the Iowa GOP won't release that information. So, Stephen has issued a challenge to WOI news team in Des Moines to dig deep and uncover the truth. If they find out, they can broadcast on The Colbert Report or Stephen will broadcast on their show.
Incentive? You betcha!
Stephen had a great guest on tonight. Ambassador Susan Rice, no relation to Condoleezza Rice, is the US Permanent Representative to the United Nations. Stephen kept trying to trip her up but she held her own and was able to do most of the talking. In fact, it was so good, it apparently ran over, at least Stephen said it did, and so he's putting the whole interview up on the web, just like Jon Stewart often does. However, we don't really know if it ran longer than the show because if it did, we did not see it. Sounds to me like it could just be a trick to get us to visit Colbert Nation to find out whether or not it ran too long.
The good thing is that even though the show apparently ran long, Stephen still had time to tell us how to help with the famine in Somalia, where millions of people, many of whom are children, are at risk of starvation.
Just text AID to 27722.
Okay, pretty much a no-brainer. The big news was the Straw Poll in Ames, Iowa, so naturally that's what Stephen went with. But my prediction was better than the AP, who apparently gave a lot of kudos to candidate XXX in one of their news stories.
Previously I had hoped there would be some analysis of the relationship between popular food and votes and to some extent, Stephen did have some number crunching concerning the delicious happenings in Ames. Michele Bachmann handed out 6,000 tickets at a cost of $180,000 to her campaign and by doing so was able to get 80% of the votes she paid for.
The Big Loser was Tim Pawlenty and Stephen did have his ground-breaking and inspirational video: Pawlenty 2012 - It Was Disappointing. And now everyone is wondering what Stephen is wondering. Who will get Pawlenty's supporter?
Of course none of this matters much compared to the Colbert Super PAC. It stole the show out in the middle of the state that is in the middle of the country. Texas Governor Rick Perry got 719 write-in votes and all of them were spelled Parry. Actually, technically, no one knows since the Iowa GOP won't release that information. So, Stephen has issued a challenge to WOI news team in Des Moines to dig deep and uncover the truth. If they find out, they can broadcast on The Colbert Report or Stephen will broadcast on their show.
Incentive? You betcha!
Stephen had a great guest on tonight. Ambassador Susan Rice, no relation to Condoleezza Rice, is the US Permanent Representative to the United Nations. Stephen kept trying to trip her up but she held her own and was able to do most of the talking. In fact, it was so good, it apparently ran over, at least Stephen said it did, and so he's putting the whole interview up on the web, just like Jon Stewart often does. However, we don't really know if it ran longer than the show because if it did, we did not see it. Sounds to me like it could just be a trick to get us to visit Colbert Nation to find out whether or not it ran too long.
The good thing is that even though the show apparently ran long, Stephen still had time to tell us how to help with the famine in Somalia, where millions of people, many of whom are children, are at risk of starvation.
Just text AID to 27722.
Hot Dogs, Get Your Free Hot Dogs
Well, the Fundraising Dinner for the Iowa Republican Party held in Ames, i.e. the Iowa Straw Poll is over and Michele Bachmann won.
Tim Pawlenty is out.
In what was actually a large picnic with free food and free tickets, the person who did the best job of providing really tasty food got the most votes. I wonder if anyone served my recipe for Holy Smoke Satan Sandwiches. It sure seemed like a natural fit, but I was not able to travel to Ames, Iowa for the Iowa Straw Poll, so I don't know.
It would be interesting to have another poll, maybe at the Iowa State Fair, to see what is the most popular summer picnic food. Then have someone do analysis to see if in fact the candidate who serves the most popular food also ends up the Winner of Straw.
My hope is that Stephen will talk about the Iowa Straw Poll, or Tim Pawlenty, or Michele Bachmann tonight on The Colbert Report so that I can finally feel like I predicted what he would talk about "in the future". But, I have found that predicting Stephen's behavior is not as easy as it would seem.
In closing, here's some numbers I got from reliable sources on the Internets.
4,823 - Number of votes Michele Bachmann received on August 13
311,995,173 - Population of USA today
$400 - Cost for a week of camp with Hot Dog USA Jump Rope Team
62 - number of restaurants in Ames listed here
Tim Pawlenty is out.
In what was actually a large picnic with free food and free tickets, the person who did the best job of providing really tasty food got the most votes. I wonder if anyone served my recipe for Holy Smoke Satan Sandwiches. It sure seemed like a natural fit, but I was not able to travel to Ames, Iowa for the Iowa Straw Poll, so I don't know.
It would be interesting to have another poll, maybe at the Iowa State Fair, to see what is the most popular summer picnic food. Then have someone do analysis to see if in fact the candidate who serves the most popular food also ends up the Winner of Straw.
My hope is that Stephen will talk about the Iowa Straw Poll, or Tim Pawlenty, or Michele Bachmann tonight on The Colbert Report so that I can finally feel like I predicted what he would talk about "in the future". But, I have found that predicting Stephen's behavior is not as easy as it would seem.
In closing, here's some numbers I got from reliable sources on the Internets.
4,823 - Number of votes Michele Bachmann received on August 13
311,995,173 - Population of USA today
$400 - Cost for a week of camp with Hot Dog USA Jump Rope Team
62 - number of restaurants in Ames listed here
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Bachmann's Laugh Lines
By now everyone has seen Michele Bachmann on the cover of Newsweek. And you would have to be living in a cave to be unaware of the rabble it has roused.
I was going to ask if I'm the only one to have figured out what was going on. But I'm sure others have figured it out and I'm just not aware of what they are saying or printing.
Here's the scoop. Feel free to share it with others. Why does Michele Bachmann look the way she does in Newsweek's cover photo?
She's trying to hide those laugh lines. She's trying to minimize the crows feet. Try this yourself. Go stand in front of a mirror. Smile and look at the crows feet and laugh lines. (Okay, if you're very young you won't have any, but then smile more and you might see them.) Move those face muscles around and watch the results. Now open your eyes a little wider. See what a difference that makes? The lines won't go away, but at least they are not as obvious.
Smile .... Relax and open eyes wide.
Smile .... Relax and open eyes wide.
That's why the photo of Michele looks that way. She's trying to look younger than she really is (and therefore prettier and therefore more appealing to that over 40 male voting bloc) .
Open my eyes very wide,
Crows Feet I attempt to hide.
701-509-8703
They only call when I'm not home. There's a message on the answering machine and since it's a recorded message rather than a real person, it's only the last half of the message. Reduce my interest rate. blah blah blah. Final notice. blah blah blah.
I don't know if there are a bunch of companies doing the same thing or if it's one company with a lot of different phone numbers. When I Google the phone numbers that show up on Caller ID, typically there's also hints about scams.
So, 701-509-8703 is not someone you want to talk to. The usual warnings apply. If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is. And do not give out your credit card numbers to someone who calls you on the phone.
I don't know if there are a bunch of companies doing the same thing or if it's one company with a lot of different phone numbers. When I Google the phone numbers that show up on Caller ID, typically there's also hints about scams.
So, 701-509-8703 is not someone you want to talk to. The usual warnings apply. If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is. And do not give out your credit card numbers to someone who calls you on the phone.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
732-749-7213
You know the drill by now. They call me even though I am on the Do Not Call List. I put the phone number here.
And yes it was about lowering my interest rate. And it was my final chance. And yes it was a recorded message. And did I mention that yet again, it was my final chance? My final final final chance.
And NO. I'm not interested. I'm still not interested. And I won't be interested next time you call either.
And yes it was about lowering my interest rate. And it was my final chance. And yes it was a recorded message. And did I mention that yet again, it was my final chance? My final final final chance.
And NO. I'm not interested. I'm still not interested. And I won't be interested next time you call either.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Vote for Rick Parry
That's Parry with an "A" for America and "A" for Iowa.
Of course, you can't vote in Iowa's straw poll if you aren't an Iowan or should that be Iowegian? But if you know someone who lives in Iowa, tell them to vote for Rick Parry. You can see Stephen's ads over at Colbert Nation. But where you won't see them is on WOI-DT, ABC5. They "decided" not to air the ads and this was their explanation. "Our general manager has reviewed both of the spots that your group wants to run tonight and tomorrow and we are gong to decline to air them. The are confusing to voters as we get closer to the straw poll on Saturday and the debate on Thursday. Please let me know if you have more questions."
Well.
WOI has upset the wrong people!
Stephen needs to stand up to this kind of treatment! He should go to the Iowa State Fair, purchase a kissing booth, and for $10.00, people can kiss his Emmy! He would rake in so much money for his ColbertPAC. (Once you visit Colbert Pac website, you won't want to leave!) And you know what? They need someone of Stephen's intelligence at the Iowa State Fair. Iowans think Kansas is in Iowa. It's true! Just look at the Iowa State Fair website and you will see for yourself.
On a happier note, Sarah Palin has rolled into Iowa with her bus tour because she wanted to go to the Iowa State Fair. Imagine her surprise when she realizes that all kinds of Republicans are there already. Most likely there will be some sort of get-together so that they can all socialize over drinks while talking issues. It's nice when we get a Happy Coincidence. Just think, if she had gone a week earlier or a week later, she would not have been in Iowa when all the GOP presidential hopefuls are there.
Gloria Steinem was Stephen's guest tonight. Sarah Palin most likely watched tonight's show because she is so grateful that people like Gloria Steinem paved the way for her to be taken seriously when she ran for office. Gloria Steinem has a premiere on HBO Monday night.
Of course, you can't vote in Iowa's straw poll if you aren't an Iowan or should that be Iowegian? But if you know someone who lives in Iowa, tell them to vote for Rick Parry. You can see Stephen's ads over at Colbert Nation. But where you won't see them is on WOI-DT, ABC5. They "decided" not to air the ads and this was their explanation. "Our general manager has reviewed both of the spots that your group wants to run tonight and tomorrow and we are gong to decline to air them. The are confusing to voters as we get closer to the straw poll on Saturday and the debate on Thursday. Please let me know if you have more questions."
Well.
WOI has upset the wrong people!
Stephen needs to stand up to this kind of treatment! He should go to the Iowa State Fair, purchase a kissing booth, and for $10.00, people can kiss his Emmy! He would rake in so much money for his ColbertPAC. (Once you visit Colbert Pac website, you won't want to leave!) And you know what? They need someone of Stephen's intelligence at the Iowa State Fair. Iowans think Kansas is in Iowa. It's true! Just look at the Iowa State Fair website and you will see for yourself.
On a happier note, Sarah Palin has rolled into Iowa with her bus tour because she wanted to go to the Iowa State Fair. Imagine her surprise when she realizes that all kinds of Republicans are there already. Most likely there will be some sort of get-together so that they can all socialize over drinks while talking issues. It's nice when we get a Happy Coincidence. Just think, if she had gone a week earlier or a week later, she would not have been in Iowa when all the GOP presidential hopefuls are there.
Gloria Steinem was Stephen's guest tonight. Sarah Palin most likely watched tonight's show because she is so grateful that people like Gloria Steinem paved the way for her to be taken seriously when she ran for office. Gloria Steinem has a premiere on HBO Monday night.
Most Boring Addiction
Last night's show had so much stuff on I don't know where to start. So I won't.
He talked about donor addicts - people who keep donating money to candidates. The Washington Post had this:
"I'm trying to restrain myself," said a donor who in recent months has given to ... Tim Pawlenty 11 times.
- Anonymous Pawlenty Donor
August 2, 2011
And that's when Stephen claimed that was the most boring addiction.
He also had a guy on to talk about a really strange way to pick a president. I did not pay attention because as Stephen pointed out, he did not have an Emmy.
Actually, I'm just so very busy and can't post a whole bunch. But you know the drill. You can catch it all online over at Colbert Nation.
More time next week, I promise.
He talked about donor addicts - people who keep donating money to candidates. The Washington Post had this:
"I'm trying to restrain myself," said a donor who in recent months has given to ... Tim Pawlenty 11 times.
- Anonymous Pawlenty Donor
August 2, 2011
And that's when Stephen claimed that was the most boring addiction.
He also had a guy on to talk about a really strange way to pick a president. I did not pay attention because as Stephen pointed out, he did not have an Emmy.
Actually, I'm just so very busy and can't post a whole bunch. But you know the drill. You can catch it all online over at Colbert Nation.
More time next week, I promise.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Ric Ocasek
I was so tired tonight, but I still managed to stay awake to watch tonight's show with Ric Ocasek of The Cars. Here's what I remember, but just a word to the wise. I may have nodded off during the show a little bit so I recommend that you watch over at the Colbert Nation so that you don't miss any important segments.
So, here's what tonight's show was about.
A part-time weather balloon landed in the ocean and because of the horrible heat index, it sunk to the bottom of the ocean. A talking sponge tied the balloon to a pineapple and filled the pineapple with aquarium gravel so that it wouldn't inflate and take off again and get it's head in the clouds.
No, that doesn't sound right. Maybe you should go watch over at Colbert Nation. Ric Ocasek and The Cars perform 1.14 songs. How can that be? Well, you need to see the second song online, thus my nagging for you to go to Colbert Nation.
It's also a good idea so that you can hear about The Word and watch Stephen's hands when he makes them "Move Like This." Find out what data retrieval is like for Stephen as he realizes that if something is online, he's not likely to remember it.
So, here's what tonight's show was about.
A part-time weather balloon landed in the ocean and because of the horrible heat index, it sunk to the bottom of the ocean. A talking sponge tied the balloon to a pineapple and filled the pineapple with aquarium gravel so that it wouldn't inflate and take off again and get it's head in the clouds.
No, that doesn't sound right. Maybe you should go watch over at Colbert Nation. Ric Ocasek and The Cars perform 1.14 songs. How can that be? Well, you need to see the second song online, thus my nagging for you to go to Colbert Nation.
It's also a good idea so that you can hear about The Word and watch Stephen's hands when he makes them "Move Like This." Find out what data retrieval is like for Stephen as he realizes that if something is online, he's not likely to remember it.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Another Reason to Join
Stephen is going to air his first political ad from his SuperPac in Iowa soon. And while he suggested you move to Iowa so that you can see it, an easier way is to just join his Colbert Super PAC. If you do that, on the night the ad airs in Iowa, you will get an email with a link to the really neat ad. And if you do join, there is also a bonus!
Prescott Pharmaceuticals has branched out again. Now they are marketing the Live Box 10 so that you can live. All you have to do is to make sure there are friends who will lower your Live Box 10 into a 6-foot deep hole and you can be safe living there as long as your food, water and air hold out. It's just great for the End Times.
Stephen's guest, Nassir Ghaemi, author of the book, "A First-Rate Madness", had interesting things to say about mental illness. Stephen even asked his opinion of the many GOP candidates for US president.
Prescott Pharmaceuticals has branched out again. Now they are marketing the Live Box 10 so that you can live. All you have to do is to make sure there are friends who will lower your Live Box 10 into a 6-foot deep hole and you can be safe living there as long as your food, water and air hold out. It's just great for the End Times.
Stephen's guest, Nassir Ghaemi, author of the book, "A First-Rate Madness", had interesting things to say about mental illness. Stephen even asked his opinion of the many GOP candidates for US president.
Dillo Day
In keeping with the current college theme, I'm posting about Stephen Colbert's Commencement Speech at Northwestern University. Did you know that, although you can't go back in some sort of time machine and listen to him at Northwestern, you can listen to him over at Colbert Nation? (Just scroll down to the middle section - State of the Nation - and click on Stephen's Northwestern Commencement Address, or click here to go directly to that page at Comedy Central.) It is about 20 minutes long and there is a brief section where the screen is dark for a few seconds. So, yes that's a long speech, but it's by Stephen, so it was of course great.
Hear him talk about living arrangements after graduation. Find out about humanity at its worst which is "Dillo Day." Learn just how cold it was on January 20, 1985 and how Stephen endured the frigid elements.
And then, drawing on his grasp of history and his ability to see into the future, Stephen predicted who the Commencement Speaker will be in 2021. (Check back here in June of 2021 to see if he was correct.)
His speech was meaningful. "Life is an improvisation." He explains where our ideas come from. His speech was predictable, but he added that certain quality that will make it stand out from other commencement speeches given this year all across the country.
Right from the start of his speech he talks about the many accomplishments of Northwestern alumni, including Emmy winners, best selling authors, presidential candidates and Olympians. And yet he concludes by saying it's not all about winning.
So, sometime soon, if you are feeling a little down or if you just need some inspiration, listen to or read Stephen's Commencement Speech. It is guaranteed to be just what you need to inspire you to be as great as Stephen.
If you prefer, you can read his speech here at the Northwestern University website.
* Photo is not of actual Stephen Colbert diploma.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Dorm Essentials
The ads are starting to come out in the Sunday paper - Target, WalMart, all the big stores, all the small stores - with all the stuff you will need as you head off to college.
Save your money. There's not room for most of that stuff. Dorm rooms are small. You are not trying to win a decorating award. Save your money for books and food. Borrow your roommate's stuff.
The less stuff you bring to college, the less stuff you have to move back home in spring.
Ignore all those ads that try to convince you to furnish and decorate your dorm room. You really only need your clothes, your pillow and your computer. Maybe a few other things. But then that's all. There are very few things that qualify as "dorm essentials."
Save your money. There's not room for most of that stuff. Dorm rooms are small. You are not trying to win a decorating award. Save your money for books and food. Borrow your roommate's stuff.
The less stuff you bring to college, the less stuff you have to move back home in spring.
Ignore all those ads that try to convince you to furnish and decorate your dorm room. You really only need your clothes, your pillow and your computer. Maybe a few other things. But then that's all. There are very few things that qualify as "dorm essentials."
Thursday, August 4, 2011
How to "Win" an Election
First, choose your side.
Second, tell the other side to vote when it is too late.
Third, tell the other side the wrong place to send absentee ballots.
Fourth, claim it was all an honest mistake.
Stephen even made up a catchy poem to help the people in Wisconsin remember the wrong information that is being sent to voters in Democratic districts:
~ ~ ~ On August 11 make your selection
~ ~ ~ That's just two days after the actual election.
For the record, people in Wisconsin should vote on August 9, not on August 11.
I could write it all down, but here's the information everyone needs to know at Huffington Post.
Really, go read it at Huffington Post. You can find out information about such things as Voter Fraud, Americans for Prosperity, the Koch brothers, and typos.
Then watch the show at Colbert Nation if you did not see it tonight. He tells all about the snafu in Wisconsin. Plus you can see him model a certain article of clothing. You wouldn't want to miss that would you?
The Stupidest Thing Anyone Ever Did
Stephen Colbert got control of MLB twitter feed for 24 hours starting at midnight on August 5. Bad idea MLB. You should have known better. If you are interested, it's
twitter@mlb
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What were they thinking?
Tonight's guest was Anthony Bourdain. He likes to cook and he likes to eat, but not just anything. It needs to be good food.
Second, tell the other side to vote when it is too late.
Third, tell the other side the wrong place to send absentee ballots.
Fourth, claim it was all an honest mistake.
Stephen even made up a catchy poem to help the people in Wisconsin remember the wrong information that is being sent to voters in Democratic districts:
~ ~ ~ On August 11 make your selection
~ ~ ~ That's just two days after the actual election.
For the record, people in Wisconsin should vote on August 9, not on August 11.
I could write it all down, but here's the information everyone needs to know at Huffington Post.
Really, go read it at Huffington Post. You can find out information about such things as Voter Fraud, Americans for Prosperity, the Koch brothers, and typos.
Then watch the show at Colbert Nation if you did not see it tonight. He tells all about the snafu in Wisconsin. Plus you can see him model a certain article of clothing. You wouldn't want to miss that would you?
The Stupidest Thing Anyone Ever Did
Stephen Colbert got control of MLB twitter feed for 24 hours starting at midnight on August 5. Bad idea MLB. You should have known better. If you are interested, it's
twitter@mlb
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What were they thinking?
Tonight's guest was Anthony Bourdain. He likes to cook and he likes to eat, but not just anything. It needs to be good food.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
No Dice, No Money
No Fun!
After talking about Super Heroes, the North Dakota Territory, and Sharia Weather, Stephen got right down to the #1 Threat to America.
The game of Monopoly.
That's right. Hasbro is shortening and simplifying many of its popular games. Why? I don't know why, but I suppose it's some lame excuse such as people are too busy now or kids demand more bells and whistles on their games.
So new Monopoly has a Control Tower in the middle of the board. There's no dice, no cash and no chance of having fun. And for sure no chance of learning. I admit it. I like the educational potential of the old Monopoly.
Supposedly the kids today can't do math. Well, if they played Monopoly, they would learn some basic addition facts. After a while, they would learn that when they roll a three and a four, it always ends up being seven. And if they get six and six - doubles - they get to go 12 spaces! They also learn to count money and to make change when paying rent. And when they buy houses and hotels, they are learning to multiply and add larger numbers. And of course, there is some reading involved, not a lot granted, but more reading than in Candyland or even Chess.
(Now, I'm not saying that Idiocracy is in our future if we give up the old Monopoly, but sometimes the old ways are the best and we should pay attention when Stephen warns us about the #1 Threat.)
After a nice impression of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, Stephen discussed Health and Human Services. And of course, Stephen is always right. He did show a video clip of FOX News Contributor and Spray Tan Victim Sandy Rios. And I will admit, she was just as sure that she was 100% right as Stephen is. (Of course, the difference being that Stephen IS always right.)
Among other comical ideas, she had this to say: "Now we're gonna cover birth control, breast pumps, ah, counseling for abuse. Are we gonna do pedicures and manicures as well?"
You see, that's what I mean. She obviously has been playing the New Monopoly rather than the Old Monopoly. To equate the health care benefits of birth control to the health care benefits of pedicures is not exactly a logical comparison. The educational aspects of Monopoly were probably left behind as she went for the non-thinking version of the game. She should not pass Go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robert K. Wittman was on the show tonight to talk about his book, "Priceless." He is an investigator in art crime. I hope you were able to watch the show tonight. If not, you should buy the book or at least look at his picture on the front of the book. Unfortunately, you can't see his face. But get to recognize him from the back. Then, if you are ever in an art museum and just about ready to steal a famous painting and you see him, STOP. Don't steal the painting. You'll get caught. He's watching you.
After talking about Super Heroes, the North Dakota Territory, and Sharia Weather, Stephen got right down to the #1 Threat to America.
The game of Monopoly.
That's right. Hasbro is shortening and simplifying many of its popular games. Why? I don't know why, but I suppose it's some lame excuse such as people are too busy now or kids demand more bells and whistles on their games.
So new Monopoly has a Control Tower in the middle of the board. There's no dice, no cash and no chance of having fun. And for sure no chance of learning. I admit it. I like the educational potential of the old Monopoly.
Supposedly the kids today can't do math. Well, if they played Monopoly, they would learn some basic addition facts. After a while, they would learn that when they roll a three and a four, it always ends up being seven. And if they get six and six - doubles - they get to go 12 spaces! They also learn to count money and to make change when paying rent. And when they buy houses and hotels, they are learning to multiply and add larger numbers. And of course, there is some reading involved, not a lot granted, but more reading than in Candyland or even Chess.
(Now, I'm not saying that Idiocracy is in our future if we give up the old Monopoly, but sometimes the old ways are the best and we should pay attention when Stephen warns us about the #1 Threat.)
After a nice impression of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, Stephen discussed Health and Human Services. And of course, Stephen is always right. He did show a video clip of FOX News Contributor and Spray Tan Victim Sandy Rios. And I will admit, she was just as sure that she was 100% right as Stephen is. (Of course, the difference being that Stephen IS always right.)
Among other comical ideas, she had this to say: "Now we're gonna cover birth control, breast pumps, ah, counseling for abuse. Are we gonna do pedicures and manicures as well?"
You see, that's what I mean. She obviously has been playing the New Monopoly rather than the Old Monopoly. To equate the health care benefits of birth control to the health care benefits of pedicures is not exactly a logical comparison. The educational aspects of Monopoly were probably left behind as she went for the non-thinking version of the game. She should not pass Go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Robert K. Wittman was on the show tonight to talk about his book, "Priceless." He is an investigator in art crime. I hope you were able to watch the show tonight. If not, you should buy the book or at least look at his picture on the front of the book. Unfortunately, you can't see his face. But get to recognize him from the back. Then, if you are ever in an art museum and just about ready to steal a famous painting and you see him, STOP. Don't steal the painting. You'll get caught. He's watching you.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Good as Gold, Maybe Even Better
While Glenn Beck may have made money by promoting the purchase of gold on his show, and then having an ad by a gold company on his show, Stephen planned ahead way back when.
He has cornered the market on baby teeth. Of course, the market has fallen a bit, but so has everything, so not really a surprise. Blame it on the Tooth Fairy if you will, but there are other factors in the high stakes market of lost teeth.
And this seems to be a good opportunity to remind people to tell Stephen what they stand for. You can do that in 106 words or less over at ColbertSuperPac.electricpulp.com.
Just tell Stephen what's important to you, what your guiding principles are, or how you would solve all the world's problems.
Al Hunt was the guest tonight. He is Executive Editor of Bloomberg News. They discussed the debt ceiling. Important, yes, but I would have thought they would discuss the falling price for baby teeth. Although... maybe the two are linked.
He has cornered the market on baby teeth. Of course, the market has fallen a bit, but so has everything, so not really a surprise. Blame it on the Tooth Fairy if you will, but there are other factors in the high stakes market of lost teeth.
And this seems to be a good opportunity to remind people to tell Stephen what they stand for. You can do that in 106 words or less over at ColbertSuperPac.electricpulp.com.
Just tell Stephen what's important to you, what your guiding principles are, or how you would solve all the world's problems.
Al Hunt was the guest tonight. He is Executive Editor of Bloomberg News. They discussed the debt ceiling. Important, yes, but I would have thought they would discuss the falling price for baby teeth. Although... maybe the two are linked.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Holy Smoke Satan Sandwich Recipe
In honor of Congress, I have created this Holy Smoke Satan Sandwich recipe. Soon it should be available in the Congressional Cafeteria, at least I hope so.
Holy Smoke Satan Sandwich Recipe
5 onions, diced
1 pound hot and spicy ground pork
1 pound lean ground beef
1 Tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 Tablespoon Tabasco sauce
1 teaspoon Liquid Smoke
1/2 cup hot ketchup
1/2 cup hot barbecue sauce
1 can Vegetable soup (or soup of your choice)
Shredded Pepper Cheese for garnish
Hamburger Buns or Ciabatta Bread
In a large frying pan, saute onions, then add both meats and brown completely. Add the red pepper flakes, Tabasco sauce, Liquid Smoke, ketchup, barbecue sauce and soup. Simmer for 20 minutes. Butter the hamburger buns or Ciabatta bread and grill on frying pan for few seconds until browned. Spoon meat mixture onto buns or bread, sprinkle with Pepper Cheese and enjoy.
In keeping with Washington D.C. traditions, this recipe has not been tested.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonight, Stephen's guest was Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com and author of the book, "Delivering Happiness" which is different than delivering shoes and yet I somehow think it might just be the same thing. Both Stephen and Tony agreed that tonight's interview was a happy interview. I have this impression that working at Zappos might be fun and I get that impression from Tony Hsieh because he says at Zappos, they look for fun-loving people to hire.
Holy Smoke Satan Sandwich Recipe
5 onions, diced
1 pound hot and spicy ground pork
1 pound lean ground beef
1 Tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 Tablespoon Tabasco sauce
1 teaspoon Liquid Smoke
1/2 cup hot ketchup
1/2 cup hot barbecue sauce
1 can Vegetable soup (or soup of your choice)
Shredded Pepper Cheese for garnish
Hamburger Buns or Ciabatta Bread
In a large frying pan, saute onions, then add both meats and brown completely. Add the red pepper flakes, Tabasco sauce, Liquid Smoke, ketchup, barbecue sauce and soup. Simmer for 20 minutes. Butter the hamburger buns or Ciabatta bread and grill on frying pan for few seconds until browned. Spoon meat mixture onto buns or bread, sprinkle with Pepper Cheese and enjoy.
In keeping with Washington D.C. traditions, this recipe has not been tested.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonight, Stephen's guest was Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com and author of the book, "Delivering Happiness" which is different than delivering shoes and yet I somehow think it might just be the same thing. Both Stephen and Tony agreed that tonight's interview was a happy interview. I have this impression that working at Zappos might be fun and I get that impression from Tony Hsieh because he says at Zappos, they look for fun-loving people to hire.
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