Global Bacon Shortage

Who's talking about the upcoming bacon shortage? Who isn't??? But personally, I don't see what the problem is. Right now bacon comes in lengths from about seven inches to ten inches. But for a BLT, that's too long, so I end up cutting or breaking the bacon strips into two pieces and then overlapping them a bit on the toast. If we had this bacon shortage, the pieces would be about five to six inches long, much better fit on the toast to make that BLT. And for bacon and eggs, still a good deal. When I have a fried egg, the bacon always sticks out past the egg and the plate looks unbalanced. So, I am going on record for saying that I would like the bacon strips to be shorter. You can still eat just as much bacon by eating eight or nine pieces instead of the usual six or seven. So, don't worry about the coming Aporkalypse. Not going to be a problem. One thing that would be bad would be if everyone got all upset, went to the grocery store to stock up on bacon, and in doing so created a scenario in which there was not enough bacon to go around. Now that would be a problem. Forget about the whether bacon strips are short or long, We should be worried about not having enough bacon.

Speaking of Louie Gohmert, the Ottoman Empire. That's right, Louie Gohmert is sounding the alarm about the soon-to-be-in-place Ottoman Empire. When I was growing up, that's all we heard about on the news. Stephen told us it collapsed in 1922, but can we be sure. All I can say is, it's good that Louie Gohmert is watching out for us.

We all know that Stephen is a man of faith. And it is obvious every day that he is one of those faithful people who believe in living his faith, not just mouthing it. Because of a recent campaign of prayer, Stephen treated us to his prayer cap, his prayer hands, (Jesus #1) and a nice prayer on the show. That should make things better.

Jim Holt, for some reason, was the guest on The Colbert Report. I wonder why. Stephen had lots of questions for him, lots. He took off the kid gloves, if you know what I mean. Some of the questions from the interview also came from the interviewee, not the interviewer. I present some of the questions. Luckily, there will not be a test, so don't worry.

"Why does the world exist?" "Why does 'Why Does the World Exist' exist?" That was a better question and it was from Stephen. "When was the last time you created everything?" If you want answers, you can buy Jim Holt's book, "Why Does the World Exist? - An Existential Detective Story." I don't know if it will have the answers you want, but since it is a detective story, it should have at least some answers.