I'm Just Me

If anyone is a uniter, it's Stephen Colbert. Last night he found a way to unify the whole nation, even before the show started, with the help of Celine Dion. (You can skip the ad after a few seconds.)

Sometimes Stephen has great news, funny news, happy news, but sometimes he has scary news. Apparently we now have to be scared of the zombie apocalypse. It is truly terrifying news that will have us all terrified as we think of the potential for terror. The CDC recently released a statement to reassure us that there are no zombies. But I think they are forgetting these documented facts about The Zombies.

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger. These segments are always so fascinating that I forget which part gets the tip and which part gets the wag. Stephen talked about a Japanese invention called diet goggles. If you wear them while eating, it makes the food look larger, and therefore, you probably wouldn't eat so much of it. In tests and studies, they have found out that the goggles work sort of okay for round objects such as Oreos, but not so well for bananas and other irregularly shaped foods. Next, the global economy. You just have to give Stephen a hand for keeping on top of important issues. It turns out that frozen assets are one of our best exports and as a bonus, it provides steady employment for our young men. In honor of this global economy, Stephen announced new product lines for his Formula 401.

Stephen's guest was a teacher, someone who completed his foursome of very important people. Jill Biden, the 2nd Lady of the USA, was on to talk about her new children's book, "Don't Forget, God Bless Our Troops." Stephen sought and got a clarification from her. It's not, "Don't Forget God, Bless Our Troops," it's "Don't Forget, God Bless Our Troops." Of course Stephen would catch the subtle differences that moving a comma could make.

This would have been a great opportunity for Stephen to mention his latest book, "I'm a Pole And So Can You," so he did mention his book.

Jill Biden also teaches at a Community College and talked briefly about the virtues of the students. They are often working a job, raising a family, and still taking the time to attend college. Just like the people at my favorite Community College.