Jason Chaffetz and His Zen SleepOver

Sometimes when I tune it to watch The Colbert Report, I turn the Television Box on a little bit early. Last night I saw the tail end of Jon Stewart and his Daily Show. Sometimes Stewart has a segment called Moment of Zen. Jason Chaffetz, Republican Representative from Utah, was featured as he spoke to Fox. I think Jason Chaffetz must have had a "SleepOver" or something like that recently because he was quoted as saying that he was so scared to death that he would have to sit next to Representative Weiner.

That would be Anthony Weiner, Congressman for New York's 9th District - the Fighting Ninth. (Note to self: find out who Anthony Weiner's roommate was in Soho.)

Then Jason Chaffetz said something about morning and people eating oatmeal and people hurling. Well, that's just typical Chatty Catty talk that goes on at Sleepovers, not always very polite and usually shows that the speaker is a sore loser. But anyway, if he is scared to death, he should contact Stephen Colbert. Prescott Pharmaceuticals surely would have something to help Jason Chaffetz with his fear phobia, which I'm assuming would be SleepOverPhobia.

Moving on.

Stephen had a blurb for the book, "O - A Presidential Novel" by the author....hmmm.... No author. Apparently it is written by an anonymous person. Speculation is that it could be Joe Klein, Robert Gibbs, or Rahm Emanuel. (Joe Klein wrote "Primary Colors", Robert Gibbs is White House Press Secretary, and Rahm Emanuel is the future mayor of Chicago.)

On the Today Show, publisher Jonathan Karp speculated that it could be (drum roll) Stephen Colbert. (If you go to the Today Show link, ignore the parts about Mark Salter.) Obviously Colbert is a talented _______ (fill in the blank), and could easily have written yet another book. But I don't think so. Here's why. When talking about Stephen Colbert, Jonathan Karp pronounced his name "call bear" rather than "coal bear". I don't think the publisher would have gotten that wrong if he actually knew the real Stephen Colbert.

Stephen doesn't remember writing it.

(OMG. That book just got The Colbert Bump! Wow, I didn't see that coming.)

The beauty of an anonymous author is that everyone can then claim credit. So, if none of you are going to claim to be the author, then I will. I wrote the book!

Stephen debuted three inventions last night. The Toaster with Wheels, the Manhandler (a single bladed razor with 5 handles) and the Fork Phone (Phork Phone? Fork Fone?). That did not go well for him, but he is recovering.