Gooooooaaaaaaaaal

You did it! You uploaded photos of your face and $100,000 has been raised over at the Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation. So far 20,042 photos have been uploaded. The money will be donated to Donors Choose.

Well done Colbertians!

Sorry Technical Difficulties

Stephen has his Super PAC and that's great. He has been displaying the names of his donors across the bottom of the TV screen and we appreciate that.

But something was missing for Stephen. He wanted secrecy. So, friend of the show Trevor Potter showed up again with all the paperwork complete so that Stephen could get his very own 501(c)(4).

Stephen is the sole director of the corporation and therefore he had the power to elect himself president, secretary and treasurer. And he did so.

He can take in money and no one need know who it came from. Why, in 2011, Karl Rove's American Crossroads took in 90% of its money from just three billionaires!

So, Stephen can take in unlimited money and no one will know where it came from. And in a really sweet deal, he can take that transparent money from his Super PAC and give it to this 501(c)(4). So while the Super PAC is all out in the open, the 501(c)(4) can hide away in the shadows.

He can donate money to political causes or candidates as long as that's not his main objective. Oh, yeah, it's about education, yep, that's what the purpose of his 501(c)(4) is all about.

To get him started, Kevin Kline was on to host The Donating Game.

And now for something completely different:

Stephen had as his guest Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. Since he is a billionaire, Stephen asked him what he would like to donate money for but wouldn't want anyone to know he was doing it. Unfortunately, just as Mark was answering, the screen went to a "Sorry, Technical Difficulties" graphic. So, we'll never know.

Oops Jew

It's Rosh Hashanah time again and you know what that means. That's right, it's time for the Atone Phone. And this year it was John Lithgow that called Stephen at 1-888-oops-jew. However, it was a mistake. John was actually calling 1-888-nors-lez.

Stephen mentioned some well-known celebrities tonight. Apparently they like to swim, but only the thin people actually went in the water. I didn't really get that part of the show.

But the really interesting part tonight was the interview. His guest was Ken Burns to talk about his upcoming three-part film about Prohibition. It premieres October 2, 3, and 4 at 8:00 p.m. on PBS (Check Local Listings)

The short discussion that Stephen and Ken had about Prohibition was very interesting. While most people say Prohibition didn't work, it had the support of nearly everyone when it started. It solved some problems, but it created new problems. There were many loopholes. It was strict to the point of being ridiculous in some instances. And lots of people drank anyway, including women.

From the PBS website comes this sentence that is applicable for today if you think about what's going on now: "But the enshrining of a faith-driven moral code in the Constitution paradoxically caused millions of Americans to rethink their definition of morality." Hmmm. I would think that along with history of Prohibition and commentary about it, we might expect to see parallels to today's political climate discussed. As Ken Burns quoted from Ecclesiastes 1:9, "There is nothing new under the sun."

Keep Those Faces Coming

More than halfway there in less than 24 hours! So far, $54,110 of the $100,000 has been donated and 10,822 user photos have been uploaded for the Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation. The money will go to Donors Choose.

If you want to see "Your Face Here" go to Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation and upload a photo of your face. Do it for the kids.

Oops, update. In the few minutes it took me to write the first two paragraphs, the numbers have now increased to $54,530 and 10,906.

So, keep those faces coming!

404-478-6372

This call was a recording from, if I remember correctly, Jennifer from ESG Research Group. It may have been ESC, but I'm pretty sure she said ESG. They just wanted me to take a short survey, and I think she may have said 30 seconds, and then I would win a 2-day Bahama Cruise. (All I would have to do was pay some fee and gratuities. No way of knowing how much that would cost!) And the survey, it was about debt or our country's debt. Not sure because she talked too fast and of course since it was a recording, I couldn't ask her to repeat anything. I should press "1" to continue or "9" to decline and be removed from their list.

Of course this is something you should decline. Too good to be true? You betcha! For one thing, you might have to fly to the Bahamas in order to get on the cruise ship. (Years ago on the old Magnum P.I. show, Magnum won the grand prize. He won a free flight to and from Hawaii.)

And the cruise ship, well it could be a 30 foot fishing boat. And it could be that you get to go on the cruise but you don't actually get a cabin or room or bed to sleep in. That might be one of the fees that you have to pay. Do you get to go on the cruise, but you have to wash dishes if you want to eat? Is someone really going to give away wonderful vacation opportunities to a bunch of people just for saying "Yes" or "No" or "Agree" or "Disagree" on some phone survey?

Caller ID is so nice. If you get a call from this number, ignore it. It's most likely way too good to be true.

Faces Uploaded

Incredible. In two hours since Stephen first talked about uploading your face, more than 20% of the goal has been reached!

Did I mention you can see the numbers change each time you go to the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation website. (Or hit refresh.) They have 10 days to reach their goal and they already have $21,400 of the $100,000. And they need 20,000 faces uploaded and have 4,280 already.

It makes me wonder if they will have met their goal by the next time we see The Colbert Report.

Upload Your Face

Rick Parry of Perry fame did not do well in his recent GOP debate. He was trying to show that Romney has had evolving opinions over the years, but all Parry did was come out looking like a fool. Stephen was reminded of someone else and showed us the clip of George W. Bush flubbing the famous "Fool Me Once" quote. It most certainly does not look very professional for someone like Rick Parry or George W. Bush to flub up when speaking. Too bad that Stephen tripped over his tongue when he was telling us all about it.

Melinda Gates was the guest tonight. She and her husband Bill Gates do have a foundation, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and it's worth looking at even if all you do is wait to see the photo of Melinda with Stephen. But you should read a little bit about what they are doing while you are there.

There is also the Stephen and Melinda Gates Foundation and you should go look at that too. It's to help children in two ways. One way is to eradicate polio and malaria in Africa and the second is to improve education in the United States.

Melinda spent most of the time talking about education. She said that having an effective teacher at the head of the classroom is the single most important thing to do for education. Here's how to spot a great teacher.

1. Manages class well
2. Gets students to think critically
3. Explains the lesson again if some students need to hear about it again.

Stephen asked if the plan in Wisconsin to de-certify teachers and cut their benefits helps kids in any way. While neither one came out and said it was a poor idea, I got the idea that Stephen and Melinda both thought it did not help kids.

And here's how we all can help. Go to
www.stephenandmelindagatesfoundation.org
and upload your photo. If 20,000 people submit their photo, they will donate $100,000 to DonorsChoose.org. And here's something I did not know. Stephen is on the Board of DonorsChoose!

So, go upload your face.

Postal Service Rallies Today

Today is the day for the rallies at Post Offices all across the nation. Some have concluded and some are just about to start. Will Stephen talk about it tonight? Will he remind us that we can buy actual postage stamps with his smiling face on it? Will the Colbert Bump help the Postal Service? Tune in later to find out what happens.

You can read my recent posting about the Postal Service here.

Learn more about saving our Postal Service here.

Radiohead

Well, a real treat tonight. I sure hope you got to watch. If not, go see it over at Colbert Nation.

I won't even begin to try to tell you all about it. For one thing, I don't like reading what other people think of art or music. I like to enjoy it and don't want someone else's opinion clouding my enjoyment. You either watched and enjoyed or you didn't. I do think Stephen was left almost speechless by their performance, which is quite an accomplishment. Stephen is not often speechless.

In between performances by the band, Stephen did a little bit of interviewing, asking such thought provoking questions as, "Why British?" and "Why against corporations?" and "Why do you care so much?" (The answer to that last question is that they have children and want them to have a better planet to live on.)

So, go over to Colbert Nation and see Radiohead. You can also find out who is winning, Bono or Radiohead, at least according to Thom Yorke.

It Is Enough That It Be "Truthy"

I read a really excellent column by Leonard Pitts Jr. Of The Miami Herald recently. It is about Steven Miles and Arthur Caplan offering $11,000 to charity if someone can prove a link between vaccinations for human papillomavirus and intellectual disability.

This comes after Michele Bachmann said in interviews "She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She said her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine."

Go read the column by Pitts now. I'll wait while you do.

~~~~~~~~~ la la la la la~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<+> ^:)#xxxxxxxxxxx...................stephenstephenstephen

Okay, did you read it? Pitts makes some very good points. And did you notice that he also mentions Stephen Colbert? That definitely caught my attention. He also wrote about Jon Kyl. You may remember I wrote about Jon Kyl here and here when Kyl's office excused his bogusivity comments because what he (Kyl) said "was not intended to be a factual statement."

So, $11,000 is up for grabs (for a charity), so do your research and claim that money. Wait a minute, wait just a minute! A link between vaccinations for human papillomavirus and intellectual disability..............

Can anyone tell me if Michele Bachmann had the HPV vaccination?

Radiohead in 24 hours

Only about 24 hours until Radiohead is on the first and possibly only hour-long The Colbert Report. Radiohead was just on Saturday Night live last night, so some of you should have seen them there if you were home and watching SNL.

I would tell you what I think the show will be like, but really, I have no clue. Other than I think it will be worth staying up late for. Tune in late tomorrow for highlights.

Always Faithful, Never Audible

Stephen had a wag of his finger for the Marines tonight. Apparently the Marines have a new set of guidelines. They have guidelines that they follow, that's the term, isn't it? I seem to remember movies where someone is always yelling, "That's a Guideline!"

Anyway, audible farting is not allowed in Afghanistan anymore. Seems like a good idea, but how do you enforce that? It never worked for elementary school. Only seemed to make it worse when the rules were read aloud about farting. So, bad news for Marines.

But, on the other hand, some good news for the little kids. Homeland Security will no longer make kids 12 years old and younger take off their shoes when going through security. That will speed up check-in at airports. Plus no worries about shoes getting left behind.

Tonight's guest was Jeremy Ben-Ami of J Street. You can read about J Street at Wikipedia. I must admit that I found it interesting reading about the Meaning of Name of J Street. It has to do with the alphabetical grid layout of D.C. streets and the fact that many lobbyist organizations are on K Street. Of course, there's a lot more about politics and lobbying and Israel that is probably more interesting really than what the name means.

Anyway, this is another lobby for Israel. I won't pretend to know everything about the situation over there. That's Stephen's job.

Fossil Fool

Well, yes, Stephen did announce that the Radioheads, actually Radiohead, will be on an hour-long The Colbert Report on September 26. Already my head is spinning just thinking about it. That's right, as if the StePhest Colbchella Thirst-icane wasn't great enough, Radiohead will be in the studio talking and singing on Monday. So don't be late.

Stephen explained the financial situation in Greece and all of Europe. But to make it clear and explain it better, he had Chrystia Freeland, Global Editor-at-Large for Reuters, on the show to provide, dare I say it, even better answers than what Stephen could provide for this shaky financial situation. She does a good job of informing Stephen, and thus all of us, about Euros which I have come to find out are different that gyros.

Stephen seemed to be on a roll tonight with experts in one field or another. His interview guest was Daniel Yergin who brought his book, "The Quest - Energy, Security and the Remaking of the Modern World." Although Stephen is well versed in so many areas, it was good for him to listen to someone else talk about the subject of energy. Stephen thinks we could eventually run out of wind and he also thinks we need to drill for sun in order to make use of solar energy. I think he might be just a little bit wrong about both of those beliefs. Luckily, Stephen is open-minded.

Radiohead

Radiohead.

September 26.

The Colbert Report.

One Hour.

(Dr. Pepper.)

Develops Charm and Charisma

First of all, I was so proud of Stephen. He was able to talk about the Emmys this past weekend without getting emotional. He even showed off his Emmys, although they are from previous years and not as special as a new one. But still, good for him for being a good sport about it.

In a segment some would call "It's math," Stephen showed graphs and statistics which were just great. Pie charts are my favorite, especially this time of year. Republicans have been talking about class warfare lately - you know, how the poor are ganging up on the rich and making life so difficult for the rich. I imagine that also means some of the rich will have to do without maids to change the bedding, just like the poor have to do without beds. But anyway, Stephen showed us the telling numbers.

In 1995, the effective tax rate for millionaires was at 30.4%. In 2009 it was 22.4%.

In 1995, unemployment rate was 5.6% and in 2009, when the taxes for the rich were lower, unemployment went up to 9.3%.

So, taxes high and unemployment low. But taxes low and unemployment high. Okay, now I have to figure out how keeping taxes low for millionaires will help the unemployed. It was a puzzler for Stephen too, so I might not be able to figure it out.

Michele Bachmann was featured in a very short video clip where she suggested that everyone pay income tax, even if they are very poor. She suggested a dollar. A Dollar? She's joking, right? Because a person who paid a dollar in income tax would probably cost at least $10 to keep track of. So that idea would cost the government money rather than bringing in any money. What is in the water she drinks?

Jeffrey Kluger was the guest tonight. His book, "The Sibling Effect - What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us." It's about brothers and sisters. Stephen knows a lot about that subject as he is the youngest of 11 children. We found out that often the youngest, in order to compete in the family, develops Charm and Charisma.

"This is a very good book!" exclaimed Stephen. (Did I mention he was the youngest? Oh, yeah, I did.)

Talk Like a Pirate Day

It's September 19. "Argh." International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I hope you all have been talking like a pirate today. (And just as a refresher, argh is pronounced arrrrrrrrr -- the "gh" is silent.)

The adventurous among you have dressed in your finest pirate attire and are attending a party tonight. The meek are merely saying "argh" occasionally. But that's okay. However you choose to celebrate the adventurous spirit is fine.

And you can talk about anything today. Talk about the weather. Argh. Talk about politics. Argh. Just whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not talk about the E-M-M-Y-S!

ARGH.

Save America's Postal Service

The locations for the rallies are now available for most congressional Districts over at Save America's Postal Service. There's still a few that have TBD which I'm pretty sure means To Be Determined.

It sure seems to me like Congress would be in favor of keeping the Post Office going strong. I mean, have you ever gotten campaign literature from your House Representative or Senator? How would they get all those brochures and postcards to your house or apartment without the Postal Service?

King of Magic

Pop Quiz for you. Which one of the following people did not appear on the show tonight?

A) Representative Louie Gohmert
B) Jimmy Fallon
C) Anderson Cooper
D) David Copperfield

If you guessed Rush Limbaugh, you didn't even look at the choices. Sheesh.

The answer is A) Representative Louis Gohmert. Although Stephen did talk about Louie Gohmert, he was not technically on the show. If the name seems familiar but you can't remember why, go back and read about him at Manatee of the Airwaves.

But as for who really showed up tonight... well, Stephen's BFF, I mean, Best Friend for Six Months, Jimmy Fallon was there to chat about the good times in the last six months. And then the truth hit both of them. Six months is up. They are no longer Best Friends. Nothing left for them but to be --- gasp --- Eternal Enemies for Six Months. However it's not as bad as it seems. Both of these superstars are up for an Emmy in the same category and yet Jimmy Fallon is man enough to say that he hopes Stephen wins and Stephen is man enough to say "Yeah."

Next, and I totally did not see this coming, Anderson Cooper was there on the show. Not on the show, but in the audience that was on the show. Okay, it was just a short walk-on bit where he didn't actually walk on, but he was there and he did talk and he didn't laugh so that almost qualifies as being a guest.

And then, almost as if by magic, David Copperfield dazzled us with his ability to sit and talk with Stephen. We can all agree that Stephen is remarkable, talented, with has many awards. But even Stephen acknowledged that David Copperfield is amazing and remarkable and impressive. And Stephen is not the only one who thinks so. Check out Wikipedia about David Copperfield. And look at this latest news to see who is the first-ever King of Magic.

It was a typical interview for Stephen and David Copperfield. And that made me extremely happy. I was worried that Copperfield would make Stephen disappear and not bring him back. It would have made future episodes of The Colbert Report very boring. Anyway, David Copperfield wrote the foreword for the book, "Brainworks the Mind-Bending Science of How You See, What You Think and Who You Are," written by Michael S. Sweeney and printed by National Geographic. It sounds intriguing and I think I might go out and buy it.

If magic is of interest to you, go to Colbert Nation and watch tonight's show online if you did not see it on the TV machine. You can see Stephen make a coin disappear. Yes, he makes an actual coin actually disappear!

Then, in what can only be described as a mix of magic, mind control and psychic abilities, Stephen predicted what card I would be thinking of. Hint: It's the Ace of Hearts.

Stephen Colbert Bids a Fond Farewell

Stephen talked about Clipgate tonight. Fox News is complaining about the metal clip that holds the pages of Obama's Jobs Plan. That's right. The clip is not good enough for them.

Of course, if it had been a plastic spiral binder, they would have complained that it was not recyclable.

If it had been stapled, it would have been too hard to fold the pages over.

If it had been in a three-ring binder, it would have been too bulky.

If it had been bound into a book, it would have cost too much.

If it had been in electronic form, it would have been a plot too keep people without computer skills from reading it.

Oh Fox News, have you nothing better to do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephen had lots to discuss tonight. For example the Post Office. The survival of the Post Office depends on swift Congressional action. At which point Stephen bid them a fond farewell. Ah, but he had Phil Rubio, author of "There's Always Work at the Post Office," on to talk about the Postal Service. The Post Office does a whole lot more than just deliver a birthday card to your Grandmother. For example, Phil Rubio told us that there are 2 million addresses added each year and 45 million address changes. Who will do that if the Post Office doesn't? (It's not as if updating addresses makes a lot of profit for anyone.)

Stephen had a suggestion. Instead of being a public-private hybrid that is controlled by Congress but gets no taxpayer money, the Post Office should be like Halliburton. They get lots of taxpayer money and no one controls them.

But there is something you can do. (Do it for Ben Franklin, if for no other reason.) Wait two more days, then go over to Save America's Postal Service and find out about the rallies that will be held on September 27 in all 50 states (even if there is rain, or snow, or sleet). The locations for each state should be posted in 2 days, so you can check then.

If we do lose our Postal Service, I'm going to be asking one of you to deliver my Grandma's birthday card directly to her house. I'll even give you 44 cents to take it there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stephen also talked about Presidential Hopeful, and mom to 28 children, Michele Bachmann. During the recent GOP debate it came out that she is strongly pro-choice as long as that choice is cervical cancer. You see, she really went after Rick Parry for signing an executive order that young girls would have to get a vaccination to guard against cervical cancer.

So I did some Googling. (I admit it, I Google.) Michele Bachmann also seems to be against anti-bullying which would thus make her pro-bullying.

So, getting cervical cancer and being bullied are okay with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moving right along on this busy night. Michael Moore stopped over. It was a great chance for a liberal and a conservative to sit down and talk. Michael Moore has a new book out, "Here Comes Trouble." (No, it's not about Stephen!)

When Stephen asked if there was something that made Michael Moore so outspoken, Moore told Stephen a story from high school. It was graduation night and the principal was checking to make sure everyone looked right. The boys were supposed to be wearing ties. Well, the kid next to Michael Moore in line had one of those string ties on. Long story short, the principal pulled that kid out of line and sent him out of school. He did not get to walk in the graduation ceremony. Michael Moore kept quiet, not wanting to also get kicked out of graduation. But after that he vowed never to stay silent when he should be speaking out.

Climate Reality Project

http://climaterealityproject.org/the-event/

More about that link in a little bit. Tonight's show was, of course, good. You should really go over to Colbert Nation and watch the full episode online. I can't do it justice unless I would just print a full transcript of the program. But that won't do it justice either because you wouldn't see facial expressions and all the graphics and video footage on the show.

So here's just a little bit about tonight's show. Stephen apparently agrees with me that Tim Pawlenty is pinning his hopes on being Mitt Romney's running mate. Stephen even showed the two of them walking together somewhere and yes, Pawlenty looks like he's just been invited to the prom.

Paul Krugman was on for a short interview and Stephen had to remind him that children might be watching the show. And when it started to get a little bit politically incorrect (at least in Stephen's imagination), Krugman said "Steve Jobs is Esther Williams."

Bobby Jindal has endorsed Rick Parry, which makes perfect sense because big old Texas is right next to little old Louisiana and we all know Rick Parry has 234 notches on his belt.

Poor Ron Paul, waiting for some kind of endorsement, finally got one and Stephen showed the video of that endorsement.

And then the special guest for the night was Al Gore. They talked about global warming. And although Stephen thinks there's no proof, Gore stated that 97% to 98% of the scientists around the world working in all the various fields related to climate agree that yes it is a problem and we should be fixing it.

Also, if you watch online, you can hear Stephen ask "Al Gore", after a comment Al Gore made about Stephen, "What the heck are you talking about, sir?"

And so the link to Climate Reality Project. Visit soon and watch.

Note: Stephen did not actually say heck.

Miracle Whip Endorses Mayonnaise

Former Presidential Hopeful and Friend of the Show Tim Pawlenty is now endorsing Mitt Romney.

"There's one candidate in this race who's unmatched in his skills and experience and talent when it comes to turning around this economy and growing jobs and that's Mitt Romney and I'm proud and I'm excited to endorse him for president of the United States," said Pawlenty.

"This is huge for Romney," Colbert tells us because they (Romney and Pawlenty) used to be bitter rivals.

And it means a new gig for Pawlenty, as he has become the national co-chair for Romney's campaign. (Balloons should fall from the ceiling now, but I don't have any balloons, so use your imagination!)

Oh, yeah, someone's running for Vice President!

But the big story tonight is that it is Too Hot to Fish. That's right, in Athens, Georgia it is too hot to fish. Pulitzer contender Wayne Ford did the research, checked the sources and scooped everyone else to find out that it is too hot to fish. We can all sleep a lot better tonight knowing this.

Diane Sawyer was the guest tonight. She has a special on abc News on Tuesday, September 13, "Jacqueline Kennedy in her own words." It should be quite interesting. Jacqueline Kennedy is "historically accurate" when talking about various well known people of the day. That's another way of saying she said exactly what she thought of the people.

It reminds me of Pawlenty back in the day when he was criticizing Romney. So, how's that working out for him? Oh, yeah. Quite well actually.

9/11

I feel that I should at least say something today. I don't need to try to duplicate what everyone else is saying. There are plenty of reminders all around.

But I would just say this. The great tragedy that was so horrific brought us all together. We should learn from that and look out for our neighbors, friends and family. We should be better people. We should try to help others.

Tea Party

I remember when I was young, very young, the girls in the neighborhood would get together about this time of year when it was starting to get cooler, and have a "tea party" that included many of our dolls and teddy bears. Times have changed and so has the typical tea party that you hear people talking about.

While I was reading about David Vetter in the link in yesterday's post, this was on the same page and so I also clicked on this article about the Tea Party (Capital "T", Capital "P".)

As they say, put that in your cup of tea and drink it. (I don't know why they say that, I personally think a little bit of sugar or honey would be better.)

Chilean Model

Here's a quick wrap-up of the GOP debates from last night, courtesy of Stephen Colbert.

Herman Cain believes in the Chilean Model for fixing Social Security. Stephen appreciates Chilean Models.

Ron Paul says that getting rid of the minimum wage would help the poor. I suppose maybe if they earned less money they would have more money??? No, that doesn't make sense, because if you earn less money you have less money.

Rick Parry was the winner according to Stephen. He knows about science and how badly that worked out for Galileo. (Because Galileo claimed that the Earth revolved around the Sun and not vice versa, the Catholic Church basically found him guilty of heresy.) And he has the best record as far as death row inmates. While Rick Parry has been Governor, 234 inmates have been executed. (I wonder which of the ten commandments that falls under.)

Also, Rick Parry is so popular because he sure seems to be in favor of getting rid of Social Security. It's about time we stop sending grandma and grandpa an average of $1,177 of month just because they are old and paid in to Social Security when they were working.

Barack Obama gave a speech to the Joint Session of Congress. Without listening to the speech, Mitch McConnell already knew what the President would say and already knew that he doesn't agree with it. That would make him a psychic.

Does anyone know if Mitch McConnell likes peanut butter? I suppose it's common knowledge that he doesn't. Yeah, we can probably say Mitch McConnell doesn't like peanut butter.

But anyway, the President was to talk about the number one issue facing the nation - Jobs. There are a lot of people out of work. They don't have a job. (I wonder if that could mean that people who do have jobs are not so secure and perhaps are very careful about what they do so that they don't lose their jobs. One thing that would make a boss unhappy with an employee would be if that employee doesn't show up for work.)

Sadly, David Vitter (R-LA) will not be able to listen to the President talk about jobs because David Vitter will be skipping work to have a football party. On the one hand, there's watching a football game. On the other hand, there's going to work. But I think David Vitter's plan was actually in tribute to all the unemployed people. He was showing solidarity with them by not being at his job. And that has got to help all the people who are unemployed. It won't help them get a job, but it will help them to feel good for a day knowing that David Vitter isn't on the job. Okay, I'm not explaining this well enough to show how important it is for David Vitter to put pleasure before obligation. I'll do some more thinking and try to come up with reasons why David Vitter is doing the right thing.

But what a treat for Colbertians tonight. A broadcast legend interviewed Tom Brokaw. And I noticed something very interesting tonight with the interview. It was different. Stephen did a lot more listening than he usually does and let the guest do most of the talking. It was very unusual!

I Was a Drum Major

First off, let me say that I sincerely hope Cinnabon accepts Stephen's apology.

That being said, Stephen discussed the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial in Washington D.C.

Stephen mentioned that he was in Washington D.C. for the March on Washington back in August of 1963. Some might wonder how that is possible since he wasn't even born until about 8 1/2 months after the March. Well, his mother was there, and so by the mathematical principle of association, so was he.

I have not seen the Memorial yet, but hope to see it next time I am in Washington D.C. But sadly there is controversy. One of the quotes is actually not what Dr. King said. The quote that is chiseled there says, "I was a drum major for justice, peace, and righteousness."

Many people would agree with that. He is remembered for exactly those things. But what he actually said was this, "If you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. Say that I was a drum major for peace. I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter."

It seems like not a day goes by that some prominent politician, actor, or business leader is demanding that some news source issue a correction about an incorrect quote. People who make speeches spend a lot of time working on the speech to get every word just the way they want it so that it says exactly what they mean.

So, while it may not seem like it's worth making a fuss over, you would surely think that if all that time and money was going to be spent making the Memorial, that it would be done correctly. What I get out of the original quotation is that he knew he had played an important part in the history of this nation, but he hoped people would remember the work that was done and not focus on the man. What the quote on the Memorial seems to suggest is that he was boasting. That's my take on it.

The quote should be corrected on the Memorial. Restore Truthiness.

Moving On.

TV Good. As you may remember, the Colbert Super PAC ran an ad in Iowa suggesting that voters in Ames write in Rick Parry's name. That's Parry with an "A". Well many people did write in Parry's name, but the Iowa GOP will not release the results to say whether or not all the names were spelled Parry. Stephen's good friends over at WOI tried to find out, but the short and long answer was the same - NO. The Iowa GOP would not release the results. So, again, Truthiness loses.

Stephen's guest tonight was Robin Wright. They talked about the political situation in the Middle East. She said that the people there had made such a difference in a short time for making dramatic changes in the politics and governments. After some more discussion, she said that debt could actually be our biggest enemy. Stephen suggested invading VISA.

Her book is Rock the Casbah - Rage and Rebellion Across the Islamic World. As Stephen would say, "Go buy it."

From That One to John Cleese in Four Clicks

So, I had a short YouTube clip of John McCain in previous post saying "That One" about Barack Obama. And then I clicked on another YouTube Video. Then another one. And before I knew it, I was way off topic. But I did come across this video about John Cleese that is amusing. If you like John Cleese, you will enjoy this video. If you don't like John Cleese of Monty Python fame, then you probably won't like this video.

YouTube video of John Cleese at home.

I Thought About Shooting Sparks Out My Butt

Tim Pawlenty was on The Colbert Report tonight. (Now I understand why Jon Stewart falls asleep when he's talking about Pawlenty.) He seemed more ill at ease than most guests on the show. And I think his comment about sparks was a little bit, well, creepy, at least for someone who wanted to run for president. It might not be out of character for Charlie Sheen though. (Concentrate. Don't imagine what Pawlenty would look like. Darn, I don't have the will-power like Stephen does to block that image of sparks and Pawlenty from my imagination.)

In the Ames Straw Poll, which is such a tiny, teeny tiny, number of people who vote, Tim Pawlenty came in third. Ron Paul came in second and nobody is talking about him. Rick Parry, who wasn't even on the ballot, came in sixth and everyone is talking about him. So, the Ames Straw Poll shouldn't be construed to mean that much. But people apparently like to start making predictions already, based on not very much information.

So, now here I go making a prediction based on not very much information. (Oh, don't worry, I do this all the time. I'm usually wrong.) I think part of the reason Tim Pawlenty dropped out was so that he didn't have to criticize any of the other candidates any more. Now, when someone is finally chosen to run for President, Pawlenty is hoping that they will think of him for the running mate. He was supposed to be picked instead of Sarah Palin back when John McCain was running against Obama (That One). Word is Pawlenty was just sitting around by his phone waiting and waiting for McCain to call him. So, he probably figures the second time is the charm.

The most important part of the show was unfortunately, just after the show, so we did not get to see it. Stephen was just putting on the very special Prescott Orthopedics Placebo-cizers toning shoes. And this even after the American Council on Exercise claims that the claim that toning shoes help tone your body has no validity. The toning shoes do not offer any benefits.

So, I would have loved to have watched Stephen walking in those shoes. The left shoe had a 6-inch stiletto heel and the right shoe had a patented cinderblock glued to the bottom of it. Oh, yes, it would have been interesting to watch Stephen walk about in those shoes. I'm sure all the audience members got to see him walk. And I would bet that he did a fairly decent job of walking in the rather unique shoes.

Loud and Clear, Sir. Unofficially, Loud and Clear

Tonight's rerun was from August 17. Stephen gave us the sad news that Salvatore Purpura had moved on and was now with the Parry camp. You can read more about it at the posting on August 17 about Salvatore Purpura.
Stephen, quoting himself, had this to say about Salvatore Purpura:

"We're not surprised. Sal is the best in the business. That's why we went with him. We're happy for Sal and we are even happier that Governor Parry has sent the clear signal of which Super PAC he trusts to receive all that unlimited money waiting to pour in on his behalf. Loud and clear, Sir. Unofficially, loud and clear."

I noticed that Stephen did remember to spell that as Parry with an A. Always consistent, sir, always consistent.

But in what could have been a mark against Stephen, he reported on Rick Santorum's speech in Iowa Falls where Santorum cleverly compares a napkin to a paper towel. His finding? They are different. His conclusion? Proof that gay marriage is wrong.

Says Santorum, "I can call this napkin a paper towel, but it is a napkin. Why? Because it is ... what it is!"

Stephen agrees. "If you give paper napkins and paper towels equal status, you undermine the sanctity of the thing you use to pick up dog vomit."

And then it happened. Stephen almost lost it. He almost did an "Anderson Cooper." Yep, folks, he started to laugh on air while reporting the news. Luckily for him and for the viewing audience, he had that roll of paper towels to hide behind and shield his grin until he could regain his composure.

That ... was ... close.

Stephen reminded us that no one can just redefine words to mean whatever we might want them to mean. Just like santorum means only "the former Senator from Pennsylvania." Yep, words have meanings. Always been that way. Always will.

And here Stephen took a little poetic license to make a plug for Brawny Paper Towels.

Tonight's guest was Jeff Bridges. I don't know why, but I kept thinking about SCUBA gear. Anyway, Jeff did a nice job singing. It's true that talented people tend to be multi-talented.

Colbert on Vacation - Day Fifteen

Summer is winding down. The kids are either in school already or are just putting those last supplies in their backpacks to get ready for the first day of school. Tomorrow is Labor Day. Yes, it's time for Stephen to head back home. Tennessee most likely was a lot of fun and excitement for him, but he's probably ready for just some low-key type of activity.

Luckily, he's in the perfect spot for that. He should head over to Springer Mountain and then head back to New York via the Appalachian Trail. That's right, he can hike the Appalachian Trail. Did you know that two-thirds of the U.S. population is within a day's drive of the A.T.? Not surprising since the eastern part of the United States is more heavily populated than the western half of the United States.

Some of the places he will see as he heads north on the Appalachian Trail are Dicks Creek Gap, Wayah Bald, Clingmans Dome, Charlies Bunion, Roan High Knob, The Priest, Snickers Gap, Harpers Ferry NHP, and High Point. Probably at High Point, he should head back over to the Studio.

Stephen should walk quickly in order to get home in time. I expect he has a large picnic planned for Monday so that will take some planning. Plus he will need to get the grill ready for the burgers and chicken and hot dogs. Potato Salad would be good for the picnic too. And baked beans, simmering in a crock pot would be really nice. I'd recommend chocolate chip cookies for dessert.

By Tuesday he should be all rested and ready to do a new The Colbert Report. I can hardly wait!

* Photo not actually of Appalachian Trail.

Colbert on Vacation - Day Fourteen

Hey Y'all. Head on over to Tennessee. The Nashville National Folk Festival is going on right now. That alone should keep Stephen busy the whole time he's in Tennessee. Of course there's lots else to do in Tennessee. Do you think you would have to go to France to buy some wine? No, there are Wineries (and Distilleries and Microbreweries) in Tennessee that he could visit. And if Stephen gets hungry for good food, well, Tennessee is the Barbecue Capitol, so yummy yummy!

Perhaps Stephen is interested in the darker side of Tennessee. Well, he's in luck. There are plenty of caves for Stephen to explore. Or to see the prettier side of Tennessee, there's all sorts of gardens, forests and natural areas to enjoy while there.

But now that I think of it, his vacation is winding down. Has he bought any souvenirs for all of the Colbertians that are expecting a a memento of his travels? Not to worry, plenty of shops of all kinds for him to spend his hard earned money on clothes, antiques, arts and crafts, books, jewelry and more.

Anything else Stephen needs to know to have a great time in Tennessee he can find at the Tennessee Vacation website.

Colbert on Vacation - Day Thirteen

Oklahoma ! Oklahoma ! Oklahoma !

I can just see Steve Martin in the movie "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" running around shouting that. That got me to thinking that Oklahoma is a great place for Stephen to visit. The Oklahoma tourist website looks pretty cool. I think first on the agenda should be Route 66. After driving around on that for a while, he should go to Will Rogers Memorial Museum.

One thing he should be sure to see while he is in Oklahoma City is The Gold Dome Building. Stephen seems to like gold, so this should be a treasure for him.

There are 39 different Indian tribes located in Oklahoma. Stephen should visit some of the Native American Museums and Centers while he is in Oklahoma. If he can't decide which places to visit, he could look at some of these museums.

Then, if Stephen wants a souvenir from Oklahoma, he could stop in at the Oklahoma City Museum of Art and buy a piece of Dale Chihuly glass. While not always in stock, when they are, you can snatch one up for between$4,000 and $8,000. At that price, why not buy a matching pair?

We Will Transform American Politics

Tonight's rerun was from August 16. You can see my post from then - Brilliant Not Manipulative to see more of what was on tonight. We heard terms such as:

estate tax = death tax
health care reform = government takeover of health care
energy exploration = oil drilling
climate change = global warming

It's amazing what you can do if you just change the words or even letters a bit.

Here's what Stephen got out of obamacare:

O Bam A Car, E!!!

In preparation for the astronauts, he played a clip of NASA's Greatest Moments which included Kirk and Spock, James Bond, Miss Piggy, Michael Jackson doing the Moon Walk, the Jetsons, Tang and the space bar on a computer keyboard.

It will be interesting in the weeks ahead to see how Dr. Frank Luntz helps Stephen learn to be a better communicator.

Colbert on Vacation - Day Twelve

What could be more natural after visiting Area 51 than a quick stop in Roswell, New Mexico, to stop and chat with all the folks there. Rumor has it they are very welcoming to any and all tourists.

The first thing Stephen will want to do is get an idea of the layout of the land. For that he should go to Google maps and look at the satellite image. I did this and was a little surprised when I zoomed in to the 1 mile view. Kind of strange. There are all sorts of shapes, mostly southeast of town, that are visible from space. Circles... rectangles... squares... and even some shapes that look like Pac Man! Could this be some sort of message to Visitors????

I know that Stephen is a patron of the arts. Just look at the portraits that hang in the studio! So one place he should be sure to visit while he is in Roswell is the Roswell Museum and Art Center. He could become a member and always get in to the museum for free. Since I just mentioned that he is a patron of the arts, perhaps that would be the membership level he should consider.

Then, if he is still hungry for art, he could head over to the Anderson Museum of Contemporary Art. Perhaps he could even take part in the Roswell Artist-in-Residence Program. I have seen him draw Snoopy and let me tell you, he can draw Snoopy. So, I figure that makes him an artist.

Or, if Stephen is interested in nature, he can visit the Bitter Lake National Wildlife Refuge. There's a lot of dragonflies in the area and there even is the 10th Annual Dragonfly Festival coming up on September 10 for people who are interested in these unusual flying creatures.

And finally, Roswell visitors can head out to the Spring River Zoo and get back in touch with planet Earth and all the native plants and animals. It's open year round and admission is free. Plus there is an antique wooden horse carousel, one of only about 100 in the country.

Visitors are always welcome in Roswell.