I wasn't going to write anything else until Stephen is back with the news of the day, but a few stories caught my eye. For sure I wasn't going to write anything more about this person, but the media just keeps finding new stuff to write about. Fine, it's about Michele Bachmann and also Jim Graves. Jim Graves almost beat her last time, so now that she has dropped out, it looks better for him, maybe. But now there's an even bigger twist. Jim Graves is not going to run. He figures no one could be as bad as she is, so anybody would be an improvement. However, Philip Bump (no relation to Colbert Bump) has another idea. Maybe she will jump back in at the last minute. He said in the last sentence, "You heard it here first." Therefore, I wanted to give him another platform to talk about this. If he does prove to have figured it all out, well, I think I will ask him for good numbers to choose for the Lottery. You didn't hear it first here at The Colbert Bump, but, you did hear it here.
But the second news item that caught my eye is for women only. So men, you can stop reading now.
It's about bras and I'm quite sure Stephen would definitely have this covered. Jockey thinks it can come up with a whole new bra sizing system. Wrong. The current bra sizing system is written in stone and is as old as the hills. No one can mess with that system.
As if that isn't bad enough, they have a "Fit Kit". And it only costs $19.95! To find out what your size is!! Sure, you get a $20 email coupon, but that just means you will have to buy one of their bras in order to get the $20 back!!! And really, ladies, what are you going to do if none of their bras fit you? They have only ten cup sizes. What if you are the eleventh size cup? You'll be left out in the cold. And you know what they say about cold.
The only way to know if a bra fits is to try it on. Just like shoes, you really need to try the article on to see if it fits you. If the shoe fits, please wear it on your foot. And if the... oh, never mind.
Men, you can start reading this blog again.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Enough is Enough
I've been watching the news tonight. Still lots of stuff about Congresswoman Michele Bachmann deciding not to run again in 2014. At least not for her current seat in Congress. She told everybody in a video. See previous post. And I thought to myself, if only Stephen was not on vacation, he could get her on the show tonight. But that won't work because she is in Russia. Wait a minute. What if .... Stephen was on vacation in Russia and saw Michele Bachmann in Russia and he could interview her there? It's possible. They could both be in the same Russian place at the same Russian time.
But back to the issue at hand. She said she had spent enough time in Congress, in that specific district. And I thought, why not look back on what she's accomplished, since when her term is up she will have spent eight years working in Congress. Eight years is surely enough time to accomplish a lot of stuff.
I figured I would have to do a lot of research to find everything she did in the last three terms plus this one so far. Lucky break for me. Someone already did that research and posted it online at Huffington Post. There's some video of her, then a neat chart of her Complete Legislative History, and then some photos of her waving. The neat chart is from govtrack.us. Charts are great because you can see everything in one neat little diagram.
Unfortunately, this chart doesn't have much substance. I guess I will have to do more research on her accomplishments and put it in another post at a later date. Check back here on June 31. I should have more information by then.
But back to the issue at hand. She said she had spent enough time in Congress, in that specific district. And I thought, why not look back on what she's accomplished, since when her term is up she will have spent eight years working in Congress. Eight years is surely enough time to accomplish a lot of stuff.
I figured I would have to do a lot of research to find everything she did in the last three terms plus this one so far. Lucky break for me. Someone already did that research and posted it online at Huffington Post. There's some video of her, then a neat chart of her Complete Legislative History, and then some photos of her waving. The neat chart is from govtrack.us. Charts are great because you can see everything in one neat little diagram.
Unfortunately, this chart doesn't have much substance. I guess I will have to do more research on her accomplishments and put it in another post at a later date. Check back here on June 31. I should have more information by then.
And I Quote Her, "Thank God"
Without fail when Stephen goes on vacation, something big happens. Or, is it because he goes on vacation that something big happens? Perhaps there are some in the political world or entertainment world or sports world that just wait until he is not on the TV machine to make their bold announcements, mistakenly thinking that no one will notice and report on it.
So, is it possible that's what happened this week? Michele Bachmann has had enough of being on the Government payroll. She is going to quit after this term runs out. Knowing how people would respond to this news, she made a video where she sadly announced her plans. You can watch the whole thing here over at Vanity Fair.
I can't know how this will affect Stephen. He never got the chance to have her on his Better Know a District segment. And now the chances of that ever happening look pretty slim. Maybe she will come on the The Colbert Report and be interviewed after she writes a new book. Heaven knows she could use the Colbert Bump to sell a few copies of her first book. That will change once she agrees to spend a little TV time with Stephen. Her books will fly off the shelves after she talks with him.
In the video over at Vanity Fair, she said that eight years is enough time to spend in Congress. No, wait a minute. She said "... eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a Representative for a specific Congressional District." What does she mean when she says the word "specific?" Is she thinking of running in a different district? You do know she doesn't actually live in the District she represents, right? Is she going to run in the District in which she lives?
She goes on to say none of those scandals that you have been reading about influenced her decision to not run again. And the narrow margin by which she won (or the huge margin by which she won, depending on how you spin it) had no bearing on her decision either.
She says some more stuff, stuff we've heard before, so you can ignore that part of the video.
As for her future plans. Well she tells us near the end of the video that basically all deals are on the table. She will do anything if it will help save our wonderful nation for future generations.
So there you have it. Michele Bachmann is giving up on Congress, but still willing to save the world. Maybe there's a future in Hollywood for her. Surely someone can come up with another superhero?
So, is it possible that's what happened this week? Michele Bachmann has had enough of being on the Government payroll. She is going to quit after this term runs out. Knowing how people would respond to this news, she made a video where she sadly announced her plans. You can watch the whole thing here over at Vanity Fair.
I can't know how this will affect Stephen. He never got the chance to have her on his Better Know a District segment. And now the chances of that ever happening look pretty slim. Maybe she will come on the The Colbert Report and be interviewed after she writes a new book. Heaven knows she could use the Colbert Bump to sell a few copies of her first book. That will change once she agrees to spend a little TV time with Stephen. Her books will fly off the shelves after she talks with him.
In the video over at Vanity Fair, she said that eight years is enough time to spend in Congress. No, wait a minute. She said "... eight years is also long enough for an individual to serve as a Representative for a specific Congressional District." What does she mean when she says the word "specific?" Is she thinking of running in a different district? You do know she doesn't actually live in the District she represents, right? Is she going to run in the District in which she lives?
She goes on to say none of those scandals that you have been reading about influenced her decision to not run again. And the narrow margin by which she won (or the huge margin by which she won, depending on how you spin it) had no bearing on her decision either.
She says some more stuff, stuff we've heard before, so you can ignore that part of the video.
As for her future plans. Well she tells us near the end of the video that basically all deals are on the table. She will do anything if it will help save our wonderful nation for future generations.
So there you have it. Michele Bachmann is giving up on Congress, but still willing to save the world. Maybe there's a future in Hollywood for her. Surely someone can come up with another superhero?
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Yemen, Lemon , Lemon Lime, 7 and 7, 7 Eleven, 9/11
Stephen reviewed the AUMF and indicated there are pros and cons. He also demonstrated that age old truism of Six Degrees of Separation. Senator Lindsey Graham thought the AUMF should be modified somewhat and so Stephen did so, crossing out unnecessary verbiage. The shorter and easier to understand version merely states, "Be it resolved ...That the President is authorized to use all force." Now that I understand.
Andrew Bacevich, Professor of International Relations at Boston University, showed up to help Stephen understand war and declaring war. Stephen declared that vigilance is necessary.
The last time Congress declared war was World War II. Since then, there have been a lot of work-arounds. After just a few more statements, Stephen was able to turn the tables on Andrew Bacevich. He then admitted defeat, telling Stephen, "You win." Stephen laughed and said, "You're my favorite kind of guest!"
It's been a while since we had any religion on the show, so I was glad to hear Stephen talking about the new Pope. Unfortunately the Pope has upset Stephen because he seems to be going easy on atheists. Stephen reminded us all of what it says in John 3:16: "Membership has its privileges." Stephen has put in a lot of time in the church, on his knees and is really upset by all this. He turned to a talking Buddhist stapler for advice only to find out that the stapler cares nothing about Stephen's concerns and worries.
C.J. Chivers joined Stephen over by the fireplace for the interview. He is the author of the book, "The Gun." As Foreign Correspondent for The New York Times, he is spending time on the ground in Syria. He told Stephen that the Syrians would like to see more involvement by the Americans. While Stephen assumed that C.J. Chivers most likely would stay at the Damascus Hyatt, actually, he brings a sleeping bag and travels with the Syrian rebels and observes and reports back.
In closing, as I suspected, Stephen will be off for the next week. When he comes back, he will be "thin as a rail and brown as a berry." I have no idea what that means, but I am anxious to see Stephen when he comes back.
Andrew Bacevich, Professor of International Relations at Boston University, showed up to help Stephen understand war and declaring war. Stephen declared that vigilance is necessary.
The last time Congress declared war was World War II. Since then, there have been a lot of work-arounds. After just a few more statements, Stephen was able to turn the tables on Andrew Bacevich. He then admitted defeat, telling Stephen, "You win." Stephen laughed and said, "You're my favorite kind of guest!"
It's been a while since we had any religion on the show, so I was glad to hear Stephen talking about the new Pope. Unfortunately the Pope has upset Stephen because he seems to be going easy on atheists. Stephen reminded us all of what it says in John 3:16: "Membership has its privileges." Stephen has put in a lot of time in the church, on his knees and is really upset by all this. He turned to a talking Buddhist stapler for advice only to find out that the stapler cares nothing about Stephen's concerns and worries.
C.J. Chivers joined Stephen over by the fireplace for the interview. He is the author of the book, "The Gun." As Foreign Correspondent for The New York Times, he is spending time on the ground in Syria. He told Stephen that the Syrians would like to see more involvement by the Americans. While Stephen assumed that C.J. Chivers most likely would stay at the Damascus Hyatt, actually, he brings a sleeping bag and travels with the Syrian rebels and observes and reports back.
In closing, as I suspected, Stephen will be off for the next week. When he comes back, he will be "thin as a rail and brown as a berry." I have no idea what that means, but I am anxious to see Stephen when he comes back.
The National
Here's a quick and short summary of last night's show.
* MC Tangerine Dream wants someone to go to jail over the IRS hullabaloo. (I'm assuming he doesn't care who it is, just pick someone and haul them away.)
* Lois Lerner took the Fifth. I thought there were only three bases that a player could take, and then of course Home Plate. Oh, the Fifth Amendment. That's different. Never mind.
* The boys from Kentucky, Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, want industrial hemp legalized. Here's a quote from Rand Paul: "I'm fascinated by the paper thing ... one acre of hemp is equal to two acres of trees. Trees take 15 years and hemp one season. Somebody said the Declaration of Independence is on hemp paper. I don't know if that's true or not. I've heard it though."
- May 14, 2013
* The "Rich" are hiring disabled people for the going price of $130 per hour or $1000 per day at Walt Disney World. To pretend to be one of their family members. In order to go the the front of the line! So they can cheat everyone else who dutifully waits their turn in line. Stephen called them the Resourceful Rich Set.
* Stephen briefly interviewed Matt Berninger from The National and then we got to hear music. Lucky you. If you did not watch them on The Colbert Report, you can go over to Colbert Nation, and in addition to catching last night's show online, you can hear a bonus song.
* MC Tangerine Dream wants someone to go to jail over the IRS hullabaloo. (I'm assuming he doesn't care who it is, just pick someone and haul them away.)
* Lois Lerner took the Fifth. I thought there were only three bases that a player could take, and then of course Home Plate. Oh, the Fifth Amendment. That's different. Never mind.
* The boys from Kentucky, Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, want industrial hemp legalized. Here's a quote from Rand Paul: "I'm fascinated by the paper thing ... one acre of hemp is equal to two acres of trees. Trees take 15 years and hemp one season. Somebody said the Declaration of Independence is on hemp paper. I don't know if that's true or not. I've heard it though."
- May 14, 2013
* The "Rich" are hiring disabled people for the going price of $130 per hour or $1000 per day at Walt Disney World. To pretend to be one of their family members. In order to go the the front of the line! So they can cheat everyone else who dutifully waits their turn in line. Stephen called them the Resourceful Rich Set.
* Stephen briefly interviewed Matt Berninger from The National and then we got to hear music. Lucky you. If you did not watch them on The Colbert Report, you can go over to Colbert Nation, and in addition to catching last night's show online, you can hear a bonus song.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Do You Want Fries With That?
Stephen briefly mentioned the Irish Potato Famine in the first news story of tonight's show. He should have talked about it more. It's really important. The pathogen that caused the potato crops to fail has been identified. It's Phytophthora Infestans Herb-1 strain. Although the famine was 170 years ago, the research has potential for today's crops. That's good news. Also, if you aren't familiar with the Irish Potato Famine, you can get a good sense of what it meant over at Wikipedia's article about the Great Famine. I must admit, when I first heard about it when I was a young lass in school, about the potato crop being ruined in Ireland back then, I did not realize all the implications. I figured if there weren't potatoes, then eat something else. The problem with that is that for many of the people in Ireland at the time, potatoes was what they ate. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. That was it. So, if no potatoes, then no food at all. The Great Famine meant that a lot of people died. It also meant that a lot of people left Ireland for other places, including the United States. To this day, Ireland's population remains lower than what it was before the Famine. So, go to those links and read up a bit. If for no other reason than that those people are Stephen's people.
But, back to the show. I'm pretty sure Stephen should have gotten into the Guiness Book by his excellent reciting of a whole list of pills with long, complicated names. The pills are to help with such things as your heart and blood pressure. Luckily, Prescott Pharmaceuticals has a better product. It's the Vacsa-Towel. Just take it out of the jar, apply it to the front lawn, lay down in the treatment rectangle and soak up the sun's rays. You see, there's new research that shows the sun can help lower your blood pressure. Of course, then there's the problem of trying to choose between high blood pressure or skin cancer.
Jeff Duncan is trying to curb the Census Bureau. He thinks they are too snoopy. Of course on the other hand, we do rely on lots of information gathered by the Census Bureau. Stephen had some quotes for Jeff Duncan from May 1. "Right now the Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the government shows up at their door and threatens them with a fine. Americans are fed up with these mandatory census surveys and they're asking us to stop the harassment." Also, "As a former small business owner, I recognize that some economic data gathering is beneficial. However, it should be voluntary, industry driven and not mandated by the government under penalty of law."
My take on it is that Jeff Duncan should read up a bit on the Census and what it means to this country. For example, some, but not all people get a longer form to fill out for the Census. Questions might seem ridiculous, for example how long it takes you to drive to work, But that information is used to help develop policies and plans for roads and transportation. Here's a link to the Census for Jeff Duncan and anyone else who wants to learn more. United States Census. You would be amazed at what you can learn. It's just one way we can plan for our future. If you want to know why all those questions are asked, go to this link and then click near the bottom of page to watch the video about "How Do We Know About Our Nation." It's short, only about five minutes. By the way, it was our Founding Fathers who came up with the idea of a Census every 10 years.
And really, really. Just take a minute and think. What good is it to know how many people are living in the United States if you don't have any other information about them? How many people are old or young? Should we build more nursing homes or should we build more schools? What state do people live in? You do know that is how we decide how many Congressional Representatives each state gets, right???
By the way, right now, as I am updating this post, there are 315,899,055 people in the United States. Remember that number for the quiz later on.
Harvard Rhodes Scholar Noah Feldman was on to talk with Stephen about his new book, " Cool War - The Future of Global Competition."
The United States and China have an interesting relationship. They are both a bit leery of the other but also need what the other country can provide. Stephen says China is Capitalist Curious. I think the Cool War is not actually all that cool.
But, back to the show. I'm pretty sure Stephen should have gotten into the Guiness Book by his excellent reciting of a whole list of pills with long, complicated names. The pills are to help with such things as your heart and blood pressure. Luckily, Prescott Pharmaceuticals has a better product. It's the Vacsa-Towel. Just take it out of the jar, apply it to the front lawn, lay down in the treatment rectangle and soak up the sun's rays. You see, there's new research that shows the sun can help lower your blood pressure. Of course, then there's the problem of trying to choose between high blood pressure or skin cancer.
Jeff Duncan is trying to curb the Census Bureau. He thinks they are too snoopy. Of course on the other hand, we do rely on lots of information gathered by the Census Bureau. Stephen had some quotes for Jeff Duncan from May 1. "Right now the Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the government shows up at their door and threatens them with a fine. Americans are fed up with these mandatory census surveys and they're asking us to stop the harassment." Also, "As a former small business owner, I recognize that some economic data gathering is beneficial. However, it should be voluntary, industry driven and not mandated by the government under penalty of law."
My take on it is that Jeff Duncan should read up a bit on the Census and what it means to this country. For example, some, but not all people get a longer form to fill out for the Census. Questions might seem ridiculous, for example how long it takes you to drive to work, But that information is used to help develop policies and plans for roads and transportation. Here's a link to the Census for Jeff Duncan and anyone else who wants to learn more. United States Census. You would be amazed at what you can learn. It's just one way we can plan for our future. If you want to know why all those questions are asked, go to this link and then click near the bottom of page to watch the video about "How Do We Know About Our Nation." It's short, only about five minutes. By the way, it was our Founding Fathers who came up with the idea of a Census every 10 years.
And really, really. Just take a minute and think. What good is it to know how many people are living in the United States if you don't have any other information about them? How many people are old or young? Should we build more nursing homes or should we build more schools? What state do people live in? You do know that is how we decide how many Congressional Representatives each state gets, right???
By the way, right now, as I am updating this post, there are 315,899,055 people in the United States. Remember that number for the quiz later on.
Harvard Rhodes Scholar Noah Feldman was on to talk with Stephen about his new book, " Cool War - The Future of Global Competition."
The United States and China have an interesting relationship. They are both a bit leery of the other but also need what the other country can provide. Stephen says China is Capitalist Curious. I think the Cool War is not actually all that cool.
Let's Swirl Up Some Journalism
Stephen has a new addition to his set. It's a Scandal Booth. Stephen hopped in to select the first scandal. And.... the first scandal to be scrutinized was Benghazi. In a recent poll, 41% of Republicans think it will be the biggest political scandal in US history. That number was 10% for Democrats and 20% for Independents.
(For those deficient in math, please realize that those numbers are not saying 61% of people think it is the biggest scandal. Don't make me get out my calculator. Don't make me do it. Fine. I'm getting my calculator. If you think that 61% think it is a scandal, then, using those same calculations, at least 229% of people do Not think it's a scandal.)
Next poll. Where is Benghazi? Among Republicans who believe it's the biggest scandal in US history, 10% think Benghazi is in Egypt, 9% think Benghazi is in Iran, 6% think Benghazi is in Cuba and 1% think Benghazi is in North Korea. Those numbers can legitimately be added and it tells us that 26% of Republicans who think Benghazi will be the biggest US scandal don't have any idea where Benghazi actually is located.
We got a hint at who one of Stephen's future interview guests will be. Jonathan Karl. He is someone who quotes quotes but not verbatim and not actually factually. Tuesday night (tonight) Stephen will have an exclusive interview with Jonathan Karl to discuss the Benghazi emails. Stephen shared the confirmation email with us.
"I would love to appear on The Colbert Report. My Name is Jonathan Karl.
P.S. My lower body is mostly raccoon."
To quote Stephen about that email: "Is that email real? Yes. Did I write it myself? Perhaps."
But Stephen also had other technology to confirm the content of that email so I'm convinced.
What a treat - another trip into the Scandal Booth. "Jimmy, let's swirl up some journalism" This time the scandal turns out to be IRS. By the way, for tax purposes, that Scandal Booth is Stephen's home office. You may have heard that some groups, especially tea drinking groups, have found themselves under scrutiny by the IRS. Funny thing is - there was no need for any of this to happen. The groups filed with the IRS but they didn't even have to do that! Friend of the show and Stephen's personal lawyer, Trevor Potter of the firm Caplin & Drysdale, was there, in the Scandal Booth, with briefcase in hand. He came out of that Scandal Booth and explained it all for us.
You may remember that Stephen has a Super PAC. His tax exempt status was never granted because he never filed for tax exempt status. He doesn't have to file. Wow! All those tea groups that filed for tax exempt status had no legal requirement to file with the IRS but they did anyway? You can form a 501 (c) (4) without asking to form one.
I'm quoting Stephen here: "These Tea Party anti big government organizations didn't have to ask big government for permission, but they did anyway?"
I'm quoting Trevor Potter here: "Right."
I'm quoting Stephen here: "What a bunch of pussies."
Now the IRS is under scrutiny for putting others under scrutiny and this is Stephen's big opportunity. He now wants to apply. The IRS would be under pressure to approve applications going forward.
Trevor Potter just happens to have a 1024 with him and Stephen is ready with a nickname, a "Doing Business As" name. Stephen chose the following name in order to put just a little bit more pressure on the IRS.
--- Making America a Better Tea Party Patriot 9/12 Place to Constitution America Tea Party Nominally Social Welfare Conservative Political Action Tea Party Secret Money Liberty I Dare You to Deny This Application of America Tea Party ---
It's a good thing.
The guest last night was David Sassoon of Inside Climate News. They had a discussion that was quite a bit of back and forth, give and take. Stephen prevailed when he said to the guest, "See this air between us. That's climate. Nothing happening." David Sassoon talked about the Dilbit Disaster and the two men sort of agreed that you "don't eat fish from Kalamazoo."
Stephen reminded us all that if we ignore the environment, it will just go away.
(For those deficient in math, please realize that those numbers are not saying 61% of people think it is the biggest scandal. Don't make me get out my calculator. Don't make me do it. Fine. I'm getting my calculator. If you think that 61% think it is a scandal, then, using those same calculations, at least 229% of people do Not think it's a scandal.)
Next poll. Where is Benghazi? Among Republicans who believe it's the biggest scandal in US history, 10% think Benghazi is in Egypt, 9% think Benghazi is in Iran, 6% think Benghazi is in Cuba and 1% think Benghazi is in North Korea. Those numbers can legitimately be added and it tells us that 26% of Republicans who think Benghazi will be the biggest US scandal don't have any idea where Benghazi actually is located.
We got a hint at who one of Stephen's future interview guests will be. Jonathan Karl. He is someone who quotes quotes but not verbatim and not actually factually. Tuesday night (tonight) Stephen will have an exclusive interview with Jonathan Karl to discuss the Benghazi emails. Stephen shared the confirmation email with us.
"I would love to appear on The Colbert Report. My Name is Jonathan Karl.
P.S. My lower body is mostly raccoon."
To quote Stephen about that email: "Is that email real? Yes. Did I write it myself? Perhaps."
But Stephen also had other technology to confirm the content of that email so I'm convinced.
What a treat - another trip into the Scandal Booth. "Jimmy, let's swirl up some journalism" This time the scandal turns out to be IRS. By the way, for tax purposes, that Scandal Booth is Stephen's home office. You may have heard that some groups, especially tea drinking groups, have found themselves under scrutiny by the IRS. Funny thing is - there was no need for any of this to happen. The groups filed with the IRS but they didn't even have to do that! Friend of the show and Stephen's personal lawyer, Trevor Potter of the firm Caplin & Drysdale, was there, in the Scandal Booth, with briefcase in hand. He came out of that Scandal Booth and explained it all for us.
You may remember that Stephen has a Super PAC. His tax exempt status was never granted because he never filed for tax exempt status. He doesn't have to file. Wow! All those tea groups that filed for tax exempt status had no legal requirement to file with the IRS but they did anyway? You can form a 501 (c) (4) without asking to form one.
I'm quoting Stephen here: "These Tea Party anti big government organizations didn't have to ask big government for permission, but they did anyway?"
I'm quoting Trevor Potter here: "Right."
I'm quoting Stephen here: "What a bunch of pussies."
Now the IRS is under scrutiny for putting others under scrutiny and this is Stephen's big opportunity. He now wants to apply. The IRS would be under pressure to approve applications going forward.
Trevor Potter just happens to have a 1024 with him and Stephen is ready with a nickname, a "Doing Business As" name. Stephen chose the following name in order to put just a little bit more pressure on the IRS.
--- Making America a Better Tea Party Patriot 9/12 Place to Constitution America Tea Party Nominally Social Welfare Conservative Political Action Tea Party Secret Money Liberty I Dare You to Deny This Application of America Tea Party ---
It's a good thing.
The guest last night was David Sassoon of Inside Climate News. They had a discussion that was quite a bit of back and forth, give and take. Stephen prevailed when he said to the guest, "See this air between us. That's climate. Nothing happening." David Sassoon talked about the Dilbit Disaster and the two men sort of agreed that you "don't eat fish from Kalamazoo."
Stephen reminded us all that if we ignore the environment, it will just go away.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Aspersions on His Asparagus
In Food News, Eric Holder was grilled and peppered by the Judiciary Committee. A certain talking cantaloupe, no wait, it was Louie Gohmert,was complaining about Aspersions on his Asparagus. The nerve of some people... wait, what does that mean? Stephen thought there needs to be more hearings scheduled. "The more I digest this, the worse it smells." Aspersions... Asparagus...In Energy News, eagles are being killed by wind turbines. Stephen is upset by this because people aren't upset about this. For example, if you mess with big oil, you know, have an oil spill and kill thousands of birds and other wild life, people will be upset. But break big wind an d people just laugh at you.
In Plastic News, did you know that you can buy one of those cheap MakerBots, make a head statue (bust) of Stephen Colbert and use it as a gun? No, you can't - just pulling your leg. But you can download instructions from the internet about making your own plastic gun.
And lastly, in Skeletal Biology Lab News, it turns out that humans are very good at sweating and that makes us superior to other life forms. Stephen is superior because he is wearing toe shoes. (Personally, I think it looks like you are wearing monkey feet, but whatever.)
Dr. Daniel Lieberman was Stephen's guest last Thursday. He is an actual Professor of Biological Sciences at Harvard University. He taught us to run barefoot, in that he said try running barefoot. It's harder to push yourself over your limit when running barefoot, because your feet will tell you to take it easy. Your feet hurt, so you stop running. This strategy works well for Stephen. Exercise hurts him, so he doesn't do it.
An amazing testament to how humans are superior really caught Stephen's attention. Turns out that having large butts (unlike some of the other primates) means you are less likely to fall on your face. Your gluteus maximus acts as a counter balance and this saves face a lot. Luckily for me, I rarely fall on my face!
There are many other ways that humans are superior. For example, because we have evolved, the necessity for underwear became apparent and sure enough, someone invented underwear. Lucky for all of us!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Kinky Boots
Bugs - It's what's for dinner. The United Nations is saying that bugs are a good food source and beside that, "Minilivestock offer livelihood opportunities for both urban and rural people." Stephen pointed out that if you are a New Yorker with bed bugs, you are a Rancher.
Stephen enjoyed a beer - Milwaukee's Best and that immediately brought him to Better Know a District. Coincidentally, that district includes Milwaukee. That is of course where Laverne and Shirley live.
Congresswoman Gwen Moore represents the Fourth District in Wisconsin. She is openly black and was aware of this since she was a little girl. Stephen and Gwen Moore discussed chocolate, vanilla and mint. Stephen asked questions and then immediately started playing the blame game. Somehow, Lucky Charms got mentioned. Congresswoman Gwen Moore and Stephen agreed, but on what, I'm not quite sure. Did I miss something, or did the two of them get married during the segment?
Eventually Congresswoman Gwen Moore did thank Stephen. But then they started talking about Governor Scott Walker. "Great Governor or Greatest Governor?" How does a person answer a question like that? She used the bus to answer. Governor Walker has thrown elderly under the bus, children under the bus, women under the bus and so Stephen put her down as classifying Governor Walker as Great. Congresswoman Gwen Moore just shook her head. They did, however, agree to ride a Harley Davidson together and that was OK until it wasn't OK.
Stephen's guest tonight was Cyndi Lauper. She brought her Kinky Boots. That is the name of her original Broadway show as well as the stage prop that she brought with her. The two of them, Cyndi and Stephen, are mutual fans (of each other). Words of Wisdom from Cyndi Lauper: "There's boots that are made for walking and then there's boots that you don't walk much in."
Stephen enjoyed a beer - Milwaukee's Best and that immediately brought him to Better Know a District. Coincidentally, that district includes Milwaukee. That is of course where Laverne and Shirley live.
Congresswoman Gwen Moore represents the Fourth District in Wisconsin. She is openly black and was aware of this since she was a little girl. Stephen and Gwen Moore discussed chocolate, vanilla and mint. Stephen asked questions and then immediately started playing the blame game. Somehow, Lucky Charms got mentioned. Congresswoman Gwen Moore and Stephen agreed, but on what, I'm not quite sure. Did I miss something, or did the two of them get married during the segment?
Eventually Congresswoman Gwen Moore did thank Stephen. But then they started talking about Governor Scott Walker. "Great Governor or Greatest Governor?" How does a person answer a question like that? She used the bus to answer. Governor Walker has thrown elderly under the bus, children under the bus, women under the bus and so Stephen put her down as classifying Governor Walker as Great. Congresswoman Gwen Moore just shook her head. They did, however, agree to ride a Harley Davidson together and that was OK until it wasn't OK.
Stephen's guest tonight was Cyndi Lauper. She brought her Kinky Boots. That is the name of her original Broadway show as well as the stage prop that she brought with her. The two of them, Cyndi and Stephen, are mutual fans (of each other). Words of Wisdom from Cyndi Lauper: "There's boots that are made for walking and then there's boots that you don't walk much in."
Good Source of Beta Carotene
Luckily for us and especially for new member of Congress, there will be yet another chance to vote to repeal Obamacare. This will be the 37th time. (I think the 37th time means a gift of Alabaster.)It just makes sense that each time there is a new Congress, everyone gets to vote on every bill that ever passed. Just because someone wasn't alive during Prohibition should not mean that they can't vote for or against it. And thus another attempt to repeal the law. Stephen showed us an amendment to be voted on.
I'm sorry to report that Stephen is not in Maxim's 2013 Hot 100. Last year he was #69 in the list of Hottest Women. Stephen is upset. I don't blame him. It is probably age discrimination as Stephen suggested. Nothing left for him to do but eat ice cream. The really really really embarrassing part of this debacle is that this year's #69 is Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend. How can anyone recover from that kind of embarrassment and disappointment. And just after he celebrated a birthday. What a slap in the face!
Stephen's guest was Dan Brown. His new book is "Inferno." (That's it... one word in the title. One. Word. !) And by all reports it is Hot. I don't think this book would qualify for a Reading Rainbow spot, just a feeling I have. Stephen as usual always comes out best when he interviews people. Stephen brought up puzzles which Dan Brown is fond of, specifically Dan Brown. In a segment that Stephen should call Anagram Time but doesn't, he told us and Dan Brown that the author's name is an anagram for "Brand Now" and also "Brand Down." Chew on that for a while!
I'm sorry to report that Stephen is not in Maxim's 2013 Hot 100. Last year he was #69 in the list of Hottest Women. Stephen is upset. I don't blame him. It is probably age discrimination as Stephen suggested. Nothing left for him to do but eat ice cream. The really really really embarrassing part of this debacle is that this year's #69 is Manti Te'o's Fake Girlfriend. How can anyone recover from that kind of embarrassment and disappointment. And just after he celebrated a birthday. What a slap in the face!
Stephen's guest was Dan Brown. His new book is "Inferno." (That's it... one word in the title. One. Word. !) And by all reports it is Hot. I don't think this book would qualify for a Reading Rainbow spot, just a feeling I have. Stephen as usual always comes out best when he interviews people. Stephen brought up puzzles which Dan Brown is fond of, specifically Dan Brown. In a segment that Stephen should call Anagram Time but doesn't, he told us and Dan Brown that the author's name is an anagram for "Brand Now" and also "Brand Down." Chew on that for a while!
Impossible Odds
First of all, I learned too late that I was not at Stephen Colbert's birthday party. I should have been suspicious when "Stephen" was shorter than I thought, older than I thought and would not take that mask off no matter what. Next year I will be a lot more careful about going to a birthday party for a big-name celebrity in a small name fast food restaurant. In my defense, there was a birthday tree there and it had a photo of Stephen at the top.
I really should have stayed home and got caught up with my posts. Oh, well...
There's the lame stream media out there and then there's Stephen and Fox News. I have come to realize that Stephen is always fair in anything he reports. Sometimes though I wonder about Fox News. Lately, in the past month or so, it seems that nothing President Obama does is what Fox News thinks the President should be doing. One idea would be for Fox to send to the President a daily agenda and talking points. Do this. Say this. That should keep everyone happy.
Stephen reported on the protests at the United States Embassy in Cairo and all the hoopla that goes with the neverending reporting by everyone about it. Four Americans were killed. Our thoughts are still with the families.But one woman, Ms. Rice, is being blamed. Ms. Rice was not completely accurate about something that happened in the Middle East. (Photos of Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Ms. Rice appear on the set). Yikes, that's confusing. There is more than one Ms. Rice. I better clear that up. Susan Rice was the one who said that the attacks were "...spontaneously inspired by the protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo..." whereas Condoleezza Rice was the one who said, "Bin Laden determined to strike with in the U. S." I always get those two women mixed up. I'm glad Stephen had photos of everyone on the show
I'll hurry up on the rest of the show. I am so behind. There's a firestorm so Stephen got out some champagne and now the IRS is mad at him. And everyone is happy in France, bears are getting high on fumes. That's about what he said.
There were two guests on the show, Jessica Buchanan and her husband Erik Landemalm. Jessica was kidnapped by Somalian land pirates in 2011, held for $45 million ransom and rescued after 93 days by Navy SEAL Team Six. And thus the book, "Impossible Odds - the Kidnapping of Jessica Buchanan and Her Dramatic Rescue by SEAL Team Six." The title says it all, but go buy the book anyway.
I really should have stayed home and got caught up with my posts. Oh, well...
There's the lame stream media out there and then there's Stephen and Fox News. I have come to realize that Stephen is always fair in anything he reports. Sometimes though I wonder about Fox News. Lately, in the past month or so, it seems that nothing President Obama does is what Fox News thinks the President should be doing. One idea would be for Fox to send to the President a daily agenda and talking points. Do this. Say this. That should keep everyone happy.
Stephen reported on the protests at the United States Embassy in Cairo and all the hoopla that goes with the neverending reporting by everyone about it. Four Americans were killed. Our thoughts are still with the families.But one woman, Ms. Rice, is being blamed. Ms. Rice was not completely accurate about something that happened in the Middle East. (Photos of Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Ms. Rice appear on the set). Yikes, that's confusing. There is more than one Ms. Rice. I better clear that up. Susan Rice was the one who said that the attacks were "...spontaneously inspired by the protests at the U.S. Embassy in Cairo..." whereas Condoleezza Rice was the one who said, "Bin Laden determined to strike with in the U. S." I always get those two women mixed up. I'm glad Stephen had photos of everyone on the show
I'll hurry up on the rest of the show. I am so behind. There's a firestorm so Stephen got out some champagne and now the IRS is mad at him. And everyone is happy in France, bears are getting high on fumes. That's about what he said.
There were two guests on the show, Jessica Buchanan and her husband Erik Landemalm. Jessica was kidnapped by Somalian land pirates in 2011, held for $45 million ransom and rescued after 93 days by Navy SEAL Team Six. And thus the book, "Impossible Odds - the Kidnapping of Jessica Buchanan and Her Dramatic Rescue by SEAL Team Six." The title says it all, but go buy the book anyway.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Butterfly in the Sky
I often say that The Colbert Report is the best show ever. Well, I was reminded last week that there are also other best shows ever.
Thursday's show brought a very refined Stephen out onto a lovely, redecorated set. I am going to love this new set of his. It was about time for a fresh look. Stephen shared with us the book "The Great Gatsby" for his Colbert Book Club. The book, which Stephen definitely did read, is a classic and there is a movie out now that is decent. In the first of many people who showed up on the show, we got to meet Carey Mulligan who is actually in the movie version of "The Great Gatsby" and, like Stephen, did read the book. Go take a look at her Wikipedia page. It is quite interesting. She is married to Marcus Mumford and that name sounds so familiar to me for some reason. I wish I could remember why. Also, she has a lot of Nominations and Wins for all sorts of films and TV shows. I would think Stephen would be somewhat uncomfortable sharing the stage with such talent, but he was enthralled with her.
You would think the excitement ends there, but no. Yet another famous person was on the show. LeVar Burton, another one of my favorite people. He had the ultimate book club of all time, "Reading Rainbow." But you don't have to take my word for it. Anyway, LeVar was able to help Stephen and Carey understand how important the book "The Great Gatsby" was. (Special thanks to James Franco for his help with Carey's lines.)
So, I am not sure what I should do or say now. Is The Colbert Report the best show ever? Or is it Reading Rainbow? Just when I thought I could decide, I was reminded of yet another best show ever, Star Trek. It's more than I can deal with to try to decide which is best.
Next up as a guest was Jennifer Egan, yet another person with links to literature and awards. So she and Stephen had a lot in common. As most book club fans, she had a "glass" of Chardonnay. They had a lovely discussion of the book and of Gatsby. Everything worked out well for all the characters for the most part. Maybe not everything, but well, a few things. Sort of. Maybe not so good.
And then the regular guest Baz Luhrmann who directed the current film version of The Great Gatsby was interviewed by Stephen. I guess what first got Baz Luhrmann interested in Gatsby was when he read the Australian translation of the book when he was younger. Well, maybe books on tape would be more accurate. Anyway, the book was a favorite of his even though he slept through it. The film, it turns out, is a favorite of Stephen's even though he slept through the movie. But all's well that ends well, and everyone should either read the book or go to the movie or both.
Thursday's show brought a very refined Stephen out onto a lovely, redecorated set. I am going to love this new set of his. It was about time for a fresh look. Stephen shared with us the book "The Great Gatsby" for his Colbert Book Club. The book, which Stephen definitely did read, is a classic and there is a movie out now that is decent. In the first of many people who showed up on the show, we got to meet Carey Mulligan who is actually in the movie version of "The Great Gatsby" and, like Stephen, did read the book. Go take a look at her Wikipedia page. It is quite interesting. She is married to Marcus Mumford and that name sounds so familiar to me for some reason. I wish I could remember why. Also, she has a lot of Nominations and Wins for all sorts of films and TV shows. I would think Stephen would be somewhat uncomfortable sharing the stage with such talent, but he was enthralled with her.
You would think the excitement ends there, but no. Yet another famous person was on the show. LeVar Burton, another one of my favorite people. He had the ultimate book club of all time, "Reading Rainbow." But you don't have to take my word for it. Anyway, LeVar was able to help Stephen and Carey understand how important the book "The Great Gatsby" was. (Special thanks to James Franco for his help with Carey's lines.)
So, I am not sure what I should do or say now. Is The Colbert Report the best show ever? Or is it Reading Rainbow? Just when I thought I could decide, I was reminded of yet another best show ever, Star Trek. It's more than I can deal with to try to decide which is best.
Next up as a guest was Jennifer Egan, yet another person with links to literature and awards. So she and Stephen had a lot in common. As most book club fans, she had a "glass" of Chardonnay. They had a lovely discussion of the book and of Gatsby. Everything worked out well for all the characters for the most part. Maybe not everything, but well, a few things. Sort of. Maybe not so good.
And then the regular guest Baz Luhrmann who directed the current film version of The Great Gatsby was interviewed by Stephen. I guess what first got Baz Luhrmann interested in Gatsby was when he read the Australian translation of the book when he was younger. Well, maybe books on tape would be more accurate. Anyway, the book was a favorite of his even though he slept through it. The film, it turns out, is a favorite of Stephen's even though he slept through the movie. But all's well that ends well, and everyone should either read the book or go to the movie or both.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Happy Birthday Stephen
Whoa!
I started celebrating Stephen's birthday this weekend and figured it was finally time to settle down a bit. The cake was delicious. The dancers were energetic to say the least and the movie we watched was incredibly funny. Great party Stephen. And again, Happy Birthday to You!
I started celebrating Stephen's birthday this weekend and figured it was finally time to settle down a bit. The cake was delicious. The dancers were energetic to say the least and the movie we watched was incredibly funny. Great party Stephen. And again, Happy Birthday to You!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
All Night Long (All Night, All Night) All Night Long
I'm back after having spent time out of the country, I mean, hiking along a famous trail. No, just kidding. But I will have to decide whether to go back and look at the episodes I missed, watch them and then give my take on what happened, or just throw in the towel and move on. Time will tell, probably in a few days.
Moving on.
Stephen is angry and I don't blame him. As a result he is turning his back on South Carolina. This is because Mark Sanford beat up, I mean won the Congressional seat in South Carolina meaning that Elizabeth Colbert Busch lost. (You're still a winner to me, Lulu.) You may remember that Stephen is from South Carolina. No more. He's now from North Carolina. Wait, no, he's changed his mind again and he is from South Carolina because he loves it so much.
Why or why did his sister lose the race? What is wrong with the political landscape? There were a whole lot of things said or implied about his sister that were as far from truthiness as Pluto is from the sun. (Oh stop it blogger. Don't underline truthiness and try to tell me it's not a word. Can't you see I'm just as angry as Stephen is?)
The analysis continued with Stephen admitting that the First Congressional District of South Carolina (the Fighting First) is solidly Republican and lots of times, people just vote the way they always have without paying attention to the candidates. However, partisanship is hurting all of us. Congress can't decide if they are gridlocked or deadlocked. Some people are blaming the Republican Party because it's kind of splintered, or in a rift as Stephen said. Here's some proof. The GOP controlled House took two days to pass legislation that helped save helium. The Democrats would have been fine with just a unanimous voice vote.
Pause here for some commentary from Stephen about a voice vote about helium and also a suggestion for the next Representative from South Carolina. Just think balloons, helium balloons and you'll understand.
I thought I understood what partisanship was, but Stephen made me realize how really crazy it is. And how absolutely funny it sounds.
If anyone is hip, it is Stephen Colbert. And he should know. But enough about that. Diapers. (Insert you own quirky pun here, mine were all too gross to use.) Apparently some parents have decided against using diapers. It will help save the environment by not having all those discarded disposables. It won't use endless amounts of water washing cloth diapers. Forget about annoying diaper rash. I can see no down sides to this plan. The plus side is parents will be able to figure out when the kid is going to go and hold them over the sink of toilet. Okay, I can think of one down side and that one think is now sitting in the bottom of the sink at that public restroom at _____ . (Please.... fill in the blank here and not with some favorite store or place that I frequently go to for books, groceries or fast food.)
This seemingly perfect system actually does have a down side. It's called the crib, in that the baby is going to be there all night long and of course you're not going to wait all night ready to hold the baby over the sink or toilet. Do I need to tell you that Stephen has the solution? Do I need to tell you that it's Kiddie Litter?
I'm going to go out here on a limb and say that there may be a few people who can see disadvantages to hordes of babies roaming the street with no diapers. Parents who are thinking this is a good idea, listen to some advice, please. "It stinks." There, I said it. You may think this is a loving thing to do to your wonderful child, but you are not really doing anyone a favor. You are going to have to clean up a lot of messes when neither baby or parent communicated or understood about the need now for a toilet. You are going to clean up that mess, right? Even if you are able to never show disappointment at accidents, you can't stop other people from being astounded. Read some books on child development, and not just by one author. Read a diverse group of authors about a diverse range of theories of how to raise a happy healthy child. Don't fall for the latest craze. Listen to that lady on the bus that tells you to put a diaper on that baby. She is obviously smarter than you.
Sure this may be a tried and true practice that is centuries old and done in many cultures. But is your day care mom going to be able to do this with the four kids she is taking care of? I mean, no one can hold four kids over the toilet at the same time if they are all on the same schedule. What this turns out to be is toilet training Mom to be ready to hold baby over the toilet a lot. If that is all you have to do each day, this may just work. If you have other things to do, such as cleaning, cooking, driving the dog to the vet, then this may not be the path you want to take. Here's something I found with a little bit more info about what really is involved.
Here's something that is kind of nice. Stephen had a doctor on the show - Dr. Richard Besser - Chief Health and Medical Editor for ABC News. He had good advice for all of us, maybe not for Stephen who is such a perfect specimen, but for the average Joe. Diet to help lose weight, exercise to build a strong heart. So, do both regardless of the advice Stephen is trying to give us. Now we see the benefit of having experts on for the guest portion of the show. Stephen found out from Dr. Richard Besser, that, for example, supplements that claim to improve parts of your day to day life don't have to be approved by the FDA. Dr. Besser is not a big fan of everyone taking multi-vitamins, pregnant women, yes, but as Stephen was quick to point out, he (Stephen) is not a pregnant woman! Yearly check-ups? Also not a fan of that. He says it is better to be in tune with your body so you know when something is wrong and then can go to the doctor. Stephen brought up several good points. Good for you, Stephen.
And here I go out in a limb again. It goes without saying that a doctor would be in tune with his body and know when something was wrong. But the average Joe does not know, perhaps, what is normal an what is not normal. Stephen had an example. A doctor would most likely know the range of normal for blood pressure, weight, hearing, and a whole bunch of other health conditions. Some people just don't know what makes a body tick. Here's an example. Surely you've heard the joke with the punchline, "You want me to put that large pill where?
Next, Stephen wanted to talk about doctors on TV. (I wonder where this is headed because I think Dr. Richard Besser is a doctor on TV, or at least he was while he was on The Colbert Report, right? (Zing!) They had some nice chit chat about doctors on TV. Should we trust them? Should we believe them? Ah... Dr. Richard Besser told Stephen that some doctors on TV may be just trying to sell you something. "I assume you are giving this book away." (Double Zing!) Oh, yeah. Stephen just scored a free copy of the book "Tell Me The Truth, Doctor."
Now if only they would have had time to talk about diapers. sigh...
Moving on.
Stephen is angry and I don't blame him. As a result he is turning his back on South Carolina. This is because Mark Sanford beat up, I mean won the Congressional seat in South Carolina meaning that Elizabeth Colbert Busch lost. (You're still a winner to me, Lulu.) You may remember that Stephen is from South Carolina. No more. He's now from North Carolina. Wait, no, he's changed his mind again and he is from South Carolina because he loves it so much.
Why or why did his sister lose the race? What is wrong with the political landscape? There were a whole lot of things said or implied about his sister that were as far from truthiness as Pluto is from the sun. (Oh stop it blogger. Don't underline truthiness and try to tell me it's not a word. Can't you see I'm just as angry as Stephen is?)
The analysis continued with Stephen admitting that the First Congressional District of South Carolina (the Fighting First) is solidly Republican and lots of times, people just vote the way they always have without paying attention to the candidates. However, partisanship is hurting all of us. Congress can't decide if they are gridlocked or deadlocked. Some people are blaming the Republican Party because it's kind of splintered, or in a rift as Stephen said. Here's some proof. The GOP controlled House took two days to pass legislation that helped save helium. The Democrats would have been fine with just a unanimous voice vote.
Pause here for some commentary from Stephen about a voice vote about helium and also a suggestion for the next Representative from South Carolina. Just think balloons, helium balloons and you'll understand.
I thought I understood what partisanship was, but Stephen made me realize how really crazy it is. And how absolutely funny it sounds.
If anyone is hip, it is Stephen Colbert. And he should know. But enough about that. Diapers. (Insert you own quirky pun here, mine were all too gross to use.) Apparently some parents have decided against using diapers. It will help save the environment by not having all those discarded disposables. It won't use endless amounts of water washing cloth diapers. Forget about annoying diaper rash. I can see no down sides to this plan. The plus side is parents will be able to figure out when the kid is going to go and hold them over the sink of toilet. Okay, I can think of one down side and that one think is now sitting in the bottom of the sink at that public restroom at _____ . (Please.... fill in the blank here and not with some favorite store or place that I frequently go to for books, groceries or fast food.)
This seemingly perfect system actually does have a down side. It's called the crib, in that the baby is going to be there all night long and of course you're not going to wait all night ready to hold the baby over the sink or toilet. Do I need to tell you that Stephen has the solution? Do I need to tell you that it's Kiddie Litter?
I'm going to go out here on a limb and say that there may be a few people who can see disadvantages to hordes of babies roaming the street with no diapers. Parents who are thinking this is a good idea, listen to some advice, please. "It stinks." There, I said it. You may think this is a loving thing to do to your wonderful child, but you are not really doing anyone a favor. You are going to have to clean up a lot of messes when neither baby or parent communicated or understood about the need now for a toilet. You are going to clean up that mess, right? Even if you are able to never show disappointment at accidents, you can't stop other people from being astounded. Read some books on child development, and not just by one author. Read a diverse group of authors about a diverse range of theories of how to raise a happy healthy child. Don't fall for the latest craze. Listen to that lady on the bus that tells you to put a diaper on that baby. She is obviously smarter than you.
Sure this may be a tried and true practice that is centuries old and done in many cultures. But is your day care mom going to be able to do this with the four kids she is taking care of? I mean, no one can hold four kids over the toilet at the same time if they are all on the same schedule. What this turns out to be is toilet training Mom to be ready to hold baby over the toilet a lot. If that is all you have to do each day, this may just work. If you have other things to do, such as cleaning, cooking, driving the dog to the vet, then this may not be the path you want to take. Here's something I found with a little bit more info about what really is involved.
Here's something that is kind of nice. Stephen had a doctor on the show - Dr. Richard Besser - Chief Health and Medical Editor for ABC News. He had good advice for all of us, maybe not for Stephen who is such a perfect specimen, but for the average Joe. Diet to help lose weight, exercise to build a strong heart. So, do both regardless of the advice Stephen is trying to give us. Now we see the benefit of having experts on for the guest portion of the show. Stephen found out from Dr. Richard Besser, that, for example, supplements that claim to improve parts of your day to day life don't have to be approved by the FDA. Dr. Besser is not a big fan of everyone taking multi-vitamins, pregnant women, yes, but as Stephen was quick to point out, he (Stephen) is not a pregnant woman! Yearly check-ups? Also not a fan of that. He says it is better to be in tune with your body so you know when something is wrong and then can go to the doctor. Stephen brought up several good points. Good for you, Stephen.
And here I go out in a limb again. It goes without saying that a doctor would be in tune with his body and know when something was wrong. But the average Joe does not know, perhaps, what is normal an what is not normal. Stephen had an example. A doctor would most likely know the range of normal for blood pressure, weight, hearing, and a whole bunch of other health conditions. Some people just don't know what makes a body tick. Here's an example. Surely you've heard the joke with the punchline, "You want me to put that large pill where?
Next, Stephen wanted to talk about doctors on TV. (I wonder where this is headed because I think Dr. Richard Besser is a doctor on TV, or at least he was while he was on The Colbert Report, right? (Zing!) They had some nice chit chat about doctors on TV. Should we trust them? Should we believe them? Ah... Dr. Richard Besser told Stephen that some doctors on TV may be just trying to sell you something. "I assume you are giving this book away." (Double Zing!) Oh, yeah. Stephen just scored a free copy of the book "Tell Me The Truth, Doctor."
Now if only they would have had time to talk about diapers. sigh...
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
I Have No Idea Who Casey Kasem Is
This is upsetting. The FDA says that people (and by people I mean female people) as young as 15 years old can now get the Morning After Pill (Plan B) at their pharmacy without a prescription. Of course this is upsetting to Stephen and also to so many conservative men in their sixties. Surely these conservative men in their sixties know what is best for the reproductive health for people (and by people I mean female people) who are 15 years old (or 25 or 35 or 45). "Manny" worries that soon we will have to give the pill out to babies. Stephen reminded us that it has probably already begun. Have you ever seen a pregnant baby???
Stephen talked guns and gun control. Which brings us to tonight's word: N.R.A.-vana. And it also brought a bit of nostalgia as Stephen talked about his first show when he coined the word truthiness. Truthiness is that natural human desire to ignore facts, and to go with what you feel in your gut. Stephen had a quote for us from Kevin Williamson from April 18, 2013. "... it should be noted that being shot in the head by a lunatic does not give one any special grace to pronounce upon public-policy questions ..." Stephen noted the medical problem that Kevin Williamson suffers from.
Another quote that Stephen shared with us is from Bob Davis on April 12 of this year from the radio gig he does with former Republican gubernatorial candidate, Tom Emmer. That would be "Davis & Emmer in the Morning." Bob Davis said, "I'm sorry that you suffered a tragedy but you know what? Deal with it and don't force me to lose my liberty which is a greater tragedy that your loss." Surely we don't want to make Bob Davis have to fill out some form at a gun show. ("Top That, Westboro Baptist!") Stephen continued with the continuation of what Bob Davis said. "I'm sick and tired of seeing these victims trotted out, given rides on Air Force One, hauled into the Senate well and everyone is just afraid, they're terrified of these victims. I would stand in front of them and tell them "Go to Hell."
A Sandy Hook resident offered to fly Bob Davis to Newtown to actually tell them to go you-know-where, but he has not responded to that offer of a free plane ride.
There has been no reply from Bob Davis. And that's the Word.
Stephen's guest tonight was plural. So it was guests and they were Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. Stephen is a fan and yet he has a beef with them. They released their album independently. This is bad for corporations and isn't that really what music is all about?
Why would anyone do that? Well, they get to do it their way and they get more money. Can't argue with that logic.
Stephen talked about the older days of Rock and Roll and mentioned Casey Kasem. (Who?) They talked about celebrity status and the need for wearing wigs, baseball caps, and sunglasses when going to the local plant store to buy some mulch.
Of course here was a performance of Same Love from The Heist. Also there to sing with them was Mary Lambert. And of course it was great. And of course there is a bonus song (not yet, but soon) over at Colbert Nation. Of course.
Stephen talked guns and gun control. Which brings us to tonight's word: N.R.A.-vana. And it also brought a bit of nostalgia as Stephen talked about his first show when he coined the word truthiness. Truthiness is that natural human desire to ignore facts, and to go with what you feel in your gut. Stephen had a quote for us from Kevin Williamson from April 18, 2013. "... it should be noted that being shot in the head by a lunatic does not give one any special grace to pronounce upon public-policy questions ..." Stephen noted the medical problem that Kevin Williamson suffers from.
Another quote that Stephen shared with us is from Bob Davis on April 12 of this year from the radio gig he does with former Republican gubernatorial candidate, Tom Emmer. That would be "Davis & Emmer in the Morning." Bob Davis said, "I'm sorry that you suffered a tragedy but you know what? Deal with it and don't force me to lose my liberty which is a greater tragedy that your loss." Surely we don't want to make Bob Davis have to fill out some form at a gun show. ("Top That, Westboro Baptist!") Stephen continued with the continuation of what Bob Davis said. "I'm sick and tired of seeing these victims trotted out, given rides on Air Force One, hauled into the Senate well and everyone is just afraid, they're terrified of these victims. I would stand in front of them and tell them "Go to Hell."
A Sandy Hook resident offered to fly Bob Davis to Newtown to actually tell them to go you-know-where, but he has not responded to that offer of a free plane ride.
There has been no reply from Bob Davis. And that's the Word.
Stephen's guest tonight was plural. So it was guests and they were Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. Stephen is a fan and yet he has a beef with them. They released their album independently. This is bad for corporations and isn't that really what music is all about?
Why would anyone do that? Well, they get to do it their way and they get more money. Can't argue with that logic.
Stephen talked about the older days of Rock and Roll and mentioned Casey Kasem. (Who?) They talked about celebrity status and the need for wearing wigs, baseball caps, and sunglasses when going to the local plant store to buy some mulch.
Of course here was a performance of Same Love from The Heist. Also there to sing with them was Mary Lambert. And of course it was great. And of course there is a bonus song (not yet, but soon) over at Colbert Nation. Of course.
Which One of You is the Cute One?
The Army is saying no thanks. The Army is saying no tanks. But Congress is saying yes to tanks in that they are built in Ohio and the two congressmen from that part of Ohio ( Senator Rob Portman and Congressman Jim Jordan) say keep those tanks rolling.
Stephen says illegal immigration and health care costs are causing some of our budget problems. And so The Word for last night was Medical Leave. Funny story, Iowa deported two Mexicans who were in a car accident in a rural part of Iowa and then sent them down to Mexico on a private jet while they were comatose. There have also been cases of hospitals putting patients with mental illnesses on a Greyhound bus and sending them to some other state. Problems solved.
Thought for Food and wouldn't you know it now I'm hungry! Salsa is selling more product than ketchup! Hummus is becoming more and more popular here. Budweiser now has Buddy Cups. You can bump cups with fellow drunks and get new Facebook friends. Finally something useful.
Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy created an app that lets you share photos but only for 10 seconds. Snapchat can be good but as Stephen pointed out, why would anyone want a photo of this (Stephen's face) to disappear? Ah, Stephen is the exception. Of course you wouldn't want his photo to disappear. Stephen asked the probing question and then even more probing questions. In addition to the probing questions, he asked if they are making a profit or if that disappears after 10 seconds too. Well of course they hope to monetize this app. To prove that Snapchat works, the guys took a self-portrait, sent it to Stephen and indeed it was there and then it was gone.
Stephen says illegal immigration and health care costs are causing some of our budget problems. And so The Word for last night was Medical Leave. Funny story, Iowa deported two Mexicans who were in a car accident in a rural part of Iowa and then sent them down to Mexico on a private jet while they were comatose. There have also been cases of hospitals putting patients with mental illnesses on a Greyhound bus and sending them to some other state. Problems solved.
Thought for Food and wouldn't you know it now I'm hungry! Salsa is selling more product than ketchup! Hummus is becoming more and more popular here. Budweiser now has Buddy Cups. You can bump cups with fellow drunks and get new Facebook friends. Finally something useful.
Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy created an app that lets you share photos but only for 10 seconds. Snapchat can be good but as Stephen pointed out, why would anyone want a photo of this (Stephen's face) to disappear? Ah, Stephen is the exception. Of course you wouldn't want his photo to disappear. Stephen asked the probing question and then even more probing questions. In addition to the probing questions, he asked if they are making a profit or if that disappears after 10 seconds too. Well of course they hope to monetize this app. To prove that Snapchat works, the guys took a self-portrait, sent it to Stephen and indeed it was there and then it was gone.
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