Iowa Swabian Hall

One thing we learned about Stephen last night is that he is not afraid of the media. In fact, he even invited media scrutiny about him. Now let's hope the media does its job.

Unfortunately for America, Bill O'Reilly has flip-flopped on the issue of marriage equality.That's okay, in fact, I applaud him for being able to pay attention to the issues and thus realize that the tide is turning and then get in step with the rest of America. What is disturbing to Stephen is not so much this current opinion of Papa Bear's. It's that Papa Bear is not able to gracefully allow other people to go through the same soul-searching and come to the same conclusion that he did by flip-flopping.

You of course know that TV cannot survive just on its own merits. There needs to be monetary support, typically in the form of sponsors and therefore commercials. One of last night's sponsors of The Colbert Report was Cadillac. Typically when Stephen mentions that a sponsor is a sponsor, he tries to work that sponsor into the show. I found myself being elated, then deflated, then excited, then disappointed for various reasons. About all he did was mention the name Cadillac. Surely I'm not the only person that expected Stephen to say to the audience members, "You get a new Cadillac and you get a new Cadillac. Everybody gets a new Cadillac." Nope. He just told the audience members to go buy one. Sigh.

For those of you out there that "Like" things and people, it is possible to learn a whole lot about your personality from those "Facebook Likes." It is possible to predict with up to 95% accuracy things such as your age, your religion, your political views, etc. Scientists set up an app and did testing and compared it to "Likes." They found out that homosexual males liked Kathy Griffin, Adam Lambert and Wicked The Musical. Okay, now here's the really important thing. Researchers found that High IQ corresponds to liking Mozart, Science, and The Colbert Report. (!) Therefore, if you like Stephen's show, you are smart. (And I can only assume if you are reading this that you like Stephen's show and therefore you are certainly smart. Congratulations.) The study also reveals that these people like Curly Fries. (Stephen threw in a quick reference to the sponsor by saying, "Curly Fries are the Cadillac of Fries.")

Sometimes you just can't avoid controversy. Case in point: Tennessee's State Capitol. Currently there are some renovations being done and some are concerned that there is a new sink that is a Muslim foot bath. This threw some people into a panic. Bill Ketron one of those worried individuals. He demanded answers and he got answers. That sink is a Mop Sink. Stephen demonstrated why we might still need to be worried. But what bothers me is that Bill Ketron doesn't even know what a mop sink is. I'm not a janitor and I know what it is. I can only conclude that he has never in his life mopped a floor.

Last night's interview was one of the more unusual interviews. (Wow, even while I just wrote that I realized than many of the interviews end up being one of the more unusual interviews. Oh, well.) The interview was conducted in "The Cadillac Interview Part of My Studio" but not before Stephen ran out of the studio, took a Cadillac for a spin on the streets, actually street, of New York and then ran in again. The guest was Carl Edgar Blake II, Iowa Pig Farmer. He was dressed appropriately in that he had on coveralls and a John Deere green t-shirt. He was a robust man. But he wasn't always a pig farmer. Originally, he was a computer nerd. He wrote code. But then that work dried up.

His claim to fame is that he created a super pig. That's right, the Iowa Swabian Hall. Carl Edgar Blake is winning all kinds of praise with his work of creating this master race of pigs. Stephen had a beef with his pork because he is literally breeding Commie pigs. Carl then gave the technical explanation and reason for his work. He also explained some of his complaints which Stephen dismissed as a marinade. (You say potato, I say potato.)

This is all very interesting, but then the show ramped up into Super Cute Status when two of the cutest little pigs were brought out for the two men to hold. So cute, so very cute. Stephen held Hamlet and Carl held Little Smoky.

Last night was the only time I can remember that after Stephen said "Good Night," the audience said, "Awwww." Baby pigs are so cute.

I Have a Smart Phone, Am I a Doctor?

I love puzzles, all of 'em, any of 'em that, um, have, have been in front of me over all these years. Puzzles such as crosswords, trivia quizzes, cryptograms, word search, etc. And so does Stephen obviously. He started out the show with the solution to a Jumble: "Crisp Bee Urine." I checked it out and he is right. I need to start doing more Jumbles. But on to more important matters.

Republican leaders, under the guidance of Reince Priebus, created the Growth & Opportunity Project to study why they lost the last election. It has also been called an autopsy, even by Reince Priebus. It's nearly 100 pages long, so I won't type all of it here. Just go here if you want to read it. Part of the report includes bringing in some Republican celebrities. And perhaps the most important part for the GOP to win back American voters is to, well I'll quote the report here: "Republican leaders should participate in and actively prepare for interviews with The Daily Show, The Colbert Report..."

Well, we can look forward to some interesting interviews coming up soon, starting with, maybe, Reince Priebus on The Colbert Report.

Big news this week is that the Supreme Court is hearing two cases involving Marriage Equality. Stephen clued us in on a recent poll that shows "... 58 percent of Americans [think] it should be legal for gay and lesbian couples to get married ..."

This brought Stephen to another installment of The Word. Narcicitizenship. We learned that Senator Rob Portman of Ohio has announced his support of same-sex marriage after learning his son was gay. That won't change what Saxby Chambliss thinks: "I'm not gay, so I'm not going to marry one."

Stephen Colbert is Watching Your Kids. That's a good thing. He scours the news stories and finds out what you need to be appalled by. Up in Vancouver, Canada there is an exhibit, "Tattoos & Scrimshaw - the Art of the Sailor." Some of the tattoos might be considered a little bit naughty, so this is why Stephen has alerted us to this exhibit. Consider that these sailors spent months at sea with nothing to do but work hard and make this art form. So, what can you expect?

Do you ever wish you could see inside your friend's ear or know what your heartbeat is? Well, you have a smart phone, right? Stephen's guest last night was Dr. Eric Topol, Director of Scripps Translational Science Institute talking about his latest book, "The Creative Destruction of Medicine - How the Digital Revolution Will Create Better Health Care."

We got to see that Stephen's heart is perfect. We got to see what Dick Tracy would have worn on his wrist if he had wanted to know what his heart rate and oxygen saturation was. Modern devices can easily monitor a patient without the need to be in the doctor's office. The devices can even detect in advance if a patient will be having a heart attack in the future. Best part of the interview was that we got to see inside Stephen's head and see his ear drum. Glad to say, his ear is getting better. Stephen highlighted one use for the Smart Phone that I'm pretty sure we are not going to be seeing in the future. (You put your Smart Phone where?????)

A Pile of Lunch Meat Chose the White Bread

Stephen is back from vacationing in the Cayman Islands with his money and was sad that he didn't get to cover the crowning of  a new Pope. (Note: Pope Francis was not crowned and seems unlikely to want riches of that sort.) Actually, Stephen wanted to cover the naming of a new Pope. It is as important as the Superbowl but without so many "Thank-you Jesus thanks prayers." Stephen did has some coverage about the new Pope and showed Fox News with the safe analysis of the smoke. "It's gray." Can't go wrong with that.

Stephen told us about a book based on a movie based on the Bible. It was very confusing. It seems like it will be a big ratings winner and isn't that what the Bible is all about?

The really big news that everyone is talking about is the renaming of the Conference Room over at The Campaign Legal Center. The president is Trevor Potter. That name should be familiar to you. If not, read more here and also here. Or you can just read posts here about Trevor Potter. Anyway, the Conference Room was renamed in honor of Ham Rove. I would just love to have my next committee meeting in "THE HAM ROVE MEMORIAL CONFERENCE ROOM." It is such a fitting tribute to Ham Rove and also to Karl Rove who was the mentor for Ham Rove. Now admittedly there could be some confusion for a small minority of people about the difference between the mentor and the mentee. So, before you enjoy your Easter dinner, first ask, "Did you ever put anti-gay marriage legislation in swing states to tip the scales in the 2004 Presidential Election?" If it answers Yes or if it answers anything at all, best not to eat that Ham. It could be Karl Rove.

Stephen extended an invitation for Karl Rove to join him this Sunday for an Easter Feast.

Stephen's guest last night was Junot Diaz. He has a very impressive set of credentials, but Stephen, being a humble man, was not impressed. Among other things, he teaches Writing at MIT. And he is on the Board of Freedom University. Freedom University is dedicated to teaching undocumented immigrants. Junot Diaz had an interesting comparison. Think about Superman. He arrived here from Krypton through no plans of his own and yet we accepted him. Think about all the positive things Superman accomplished here! Right. So it just makes sense to me that we should be doing more to help these other immigrants achieve all that they can. Stephen raised many pertinent questions which Junot Diaz answered well and yet not to Stephen's liking. They discussed the Eternal Question of what language is spoken on Krypton. I must admit that I do not know the answer to that question.

As important as this University seems to be to Junot Diaz and as committed as he seems to be to the University, he admitted that there is no official sweatshirt for the school. Stephen was ready to help him out. He brought out a sweatshirt, a nice grey hoodie, with red letters that say "Freedom University - Established 2011" on it. Junot Diaz was overwhelmed with joy. "This is great!" Actually, it just had the initials for Freedom University on it, but you get the idea.

Colbert Wins

I wonder if Stephen knows this. Elizabeth Colbert Busch won the Democratic Primary in South Carolina. On the Republican side, not quite so clear. Mark Sanford got the most votes, but that wasn't enough to call him the winner. There will have to be yet another primary to find out who will be the candidate to go against Elizabeth Colbert Busch.

Obviously, voters in South Carolina turned out at the polls. When the General Election comes up, all the voters should vote for Elizabeth Colbert Busch. Just imagine what "Better Know a District" would be like with Stephen Colbert interviewing Congresswoman Elizabeth Colbert Busch. I'm already imagining it right now and let me tell you, it is wonderful!

Vote Colbert

Ah, yes, the political season is over for most of us, but in South Carolina, there is a big election coming up.

You do remember that Stephen's sister is running, right??? Yes, Elizabeth Colbert Busch is running for Congress.

There's all sorts of connections that can be made about that. Governor Nikki Haley could have appointed Stephen Colbert to the open seat in the United States Senate back a while ago, but instead she appointed Tim Scott. That left his seat open in Congress.

Now, Stephen's sister Elizabeth Colbert Busch is running for that seat against a long list of people. It would be very interesting if, even though Governor Nikki Haley was not willing to appoint a Colbert, the people of South Carolina appointed a Colbert by voting for Elizabeth.

You can do a little bit of reading about some of the people involved by reading here about Nikki Haley, and just a little bit about one of the other candidates, Mark Sanford. Of course there is lots more information about this candidate out there, for example his Appalachian Trail escapade. It coined a new euphemism for, well you remember, right? You can also find out who he asked to head his campaign here at HuffPo.

And then go visit Colbert Busch for Congress. We already know who got to be Pope, so this is the next event that everyone will be watching.

We Have a New Pope

At 8:12 p.m. (Vatican Time) the curtains parted, the doors to the balcony opened, the announcement was made.

And the new Pope is....

Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires. He has taken the name Pope Francisco or Francis I.

At 8:23 p.m. Vatican Time, he appeared on the balcony. He greeted the crowd, said a prayer for Pope Emeritus Benedict. There was a silent prayer for the new Pope and then a prayer for the world. At 8:34 Vatican time he left the balcony after wishing the crowd a restful night.

I can't even imagine what he must be thinking and feeling right now.

Obviously, more details in the days ahead.

New Pope Chosen

I just got done writing that you probably would not hear it here first, and already I'm reporting that a new Pope was just chosen.

New Pope chosen in Vatican City.

More details later.

Chimney Cam

Pope Watch. Gull Cam. (Yes there was a seagull on top of the chimney for a while.) Everyone has a catchy name to signify the election of a new Pope.

Whenever the new Pope is elected, you will hear it here. Probably not first, but eventually I will report on it.

Here's one article, and I'm sure there are hundreds more, about what's happening over in Vatican City. Scroll through all seven photos at the top of the article. In the first one, I see that although the Cardinals seem to dress alike, there are subtle differences. Some outfits have more lace to them, some have a bit more of an ivory color rather than white. The red seems to all be exactly like in the robes so that makes me wonder if there is a huge bolt of red fabric in Rome that only is used for Cardinal gear. It would just look wrong to have a photo of all the Cardinals and some of the robes are sort of maroon while others tend to be a bit red-orange. Luckily that problem is taken care of. Whew.

In photo number five you can see the vestments in Small, Medium and Large. It also looks like there are seven, maybe eight different sizes of shoes to pick from.

What would it be like to be sitting there voting on the next Pope and wondering, "Will it be me?" And what about that thing where any Catholic male can be chosen. What if they pick someone who is currently in, say, New York, or maybe South Carolina? The white smoke would come out the chimney, the bells would start ringing and then we would have to wait for that person to get an airplane ticket, pack a suitcase, probably submit a resignation at work, and high tail it over to Rome to appear on that balcony.

While part of me thinks that Stephen Colbert would make a wonderful Pope, if he was elected, I would hope that he would still broadcast The Colbert Report live from the Vatican.

Born Again Virgin

Rand Paul has been in the news for filibustering. While some may think this indicates a talent for talking for hours, it actually is more important from the standpoint of being able to do things like drive a truck for long distances between truck stops. But you hardly ever hear anyone getting credit for that.

It seems like Stephen has a drone in his studio always watching him. It is a mutual admiration society between Stephen and the drone, though, as Stephen expressed his love for the pretty drone watching over him. Yes, Stephen love drone.

North Koreans watch The Colbert Report on their one TV set. We even got to see some actual footage from North Korean TV. In addition, we got to see some sweet Stephen TV. You may remember North Korea, or the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, as they (North Koreans) officially call their country. Interestingly enough. North Koreans also watch basketball and they recently had a treat when they were able to watch it with Dennis Rodman.

Stephen the C. will be taking a two-week break and we found out that he is bored with news. What really excites him is people staring at each other for long minutes while looking at a rose. In fact, that is how he chose the guest for last Thursday was by giving a rose to one of two guest candidates. John Sexton won out. Sadly, for all involved, Dougie St. James had to go home. I was really looking to hearing about the book, "Awakening the Birdhouse Within." I have read most of Dougie St. James other books, so this would have been a real treat.

So, John Sexton was the guest. He is the president of NYU. Stephen talked with him about Sexton's book, "Baseball as a Road to God - Seeing Beyond the Game." Stephen brought up the great truth that Baseball seems endless. Good point. Also, and this could be helpful to many people, Stephen says about some of John Sexton's comments, "I get to say something is true and then go I can't explain it. I'm right though." That should almost be on a fortune cookie, or maybe in tomorrow's horoscope. One other comment Stephen made would not work on a fortune cookie quite as well. "Okay, one of the things that I don't know is what you just said." Honest and humble admission by Stephen.

So anyway, Stephen is off for two weeks and they are picking a new Pope in Rome. I wonder.....

And I'm Right

Have you ever wondered how they name all those storms? Have you ever wanted to find out if your name could be a storm name? And who gets to name storms anyway? Well for hurricanes, you can look here for the list of names. If a storm is too bad, that name is retired. Otherwise, the names are recycled every six years.

But now, even snowstorms are being named by the Weather Channel. I don't know who said they can do that, although I guess if you try something and it catches on, that probably just encourages you to keep doing it. More importantly, where does the Weather Channel come up with names such as the Snowquester? As usual, Stephen had the answer of exactly how they determine these storm names. In what I personally hope comes next is for someone to name each day's weather so we can remember that day by memorizing the weather name that goes with it. Since it is the month of March and it was windy and blew my hair around and I saw a large rabbit, I'm naming today's weather "March Hare." Stephen had other really great weather names.

Nation, Stephen announced proudly that he is a big fan of  the Civil Rights movement. In fact, he even attended the historic 1963 March on Washington while still in his mother's womb. That is one of the reasons he is so interested in the challenge to the Voting Rights Act being considered by the Supreme Court. Shelby County in Alabama is complaining that they shouldn't have to follow that law anymore because it singles out states that historically tried to block the voting rights of some people. Also, things are great now according to Bert Rein on February 27 of this year. "The problem to which the Voting Rights Act was addressed is solved." Stephen celebrated with black and white balloons. If that doesn't motivate the Supreme Court, I don't know what will.

Do you need proof? Well, four weeks ago, Mississippi made slavery illegal!

Who are these people in our Supreme Court and what are they thinking about this issue? Well, take Justice Antonin Scalia --- please. (I couldn't resist that Henny Youngman humor. Sorry.) This is what Antonin Scalia had to say on February 27 of this year:

"I am fairly confident it will be reenacted in perpetuity unless, unless a court can say it does not comport with the Constitution ... It's a concern that this is not the kind of a question you can leave to Congress ... Even the name of it is wonderful. The Voting rights Act. Who is going to vote against that in the future?"

Stephen pointed out that luckily Justice Antonin Scalia is presently on the Supreme Court.


Via satellite last night was Julian Bond, one of the founders of the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), Chairman Emeritus of the NAACP, and Civil Rights pioneer. Julian Bond and Stephen questioned whether or not racism still exists. Stephen thinks it is over with - remember his black and white balloons. Julian Bond thinks it is still with us, even saying that there are many people who are angry at Barack Obama for being president while black.

Stephen brought up some areas of agreement between Justice Clarence Thomas and Julian bond, namely they both have roots in Georgia. Yet, they had different life experiences and have different views on many topics. Justice Thomas thinks one way and Julian Bond thinks another way and Julian Bond is right.

We had what might be called a commercial break or else what Stephen called Thought For Food. We learned that Lunchables are Able to be Lunch and that the Nacho Industrial Complex has discovered the "bliss point."I won't go into the technical jargon as Stephen does, but basically it means you keep eating junk food because it tastes good, but you just can't seem to get enough to fill you up. To help us understand, Stephen had a visual demonstration.


Stephen's guest last night was Brendan O'Connell, painter of WalMarts. (My cousin used to paint WalMarts. I think the walls were usually white, so kind of boring work.) Anyway, he has painted jars of Jif on the shelf, the front of the store where the cashiers are, a woman (his wife) looking at what appears to be snack foods such as Nachos, and another product placement shot. Interestingly enough, I'm pretty sure I could afford to buy the Jif, but not the painting of the Jif.

Also, a quick note for aspiring painters. As many times as he would go to WalMart and photograph what he would then go home and paint, WalMart would ask him to stop doing that. That is why I paint trees. They never complain.

I Know This, I Know This, I Know This, Don't Tell Me

In political and international news, Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela, has died. In seemingly unrelated news, Jon Stewart will be taking some time off from The Daily Show. Stephen has learned that Jon Stewart will be running the country of Venezuela during his time off this summer.

More political news involves Barack Obama's upcoming visit to Israel this spring. Stephen pointed out that George W. Bush was a better friend of Israel. In 2007, Bush gave a whopping $2.3 Billion in foreign aid to Israel. Obama only plans on giving a paltry $3.1 Billion in aid to Israel. While in Israel, Obama will be awarded the Presidential Medal of Distinction. President Obama will be meeting with Prime Minister Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu while in Israel which may be a little bit awkward since Netanyahu seemed to be a supporter of, ... Whatshisname (Matz Latke?, Bris Schmaltzy?, Putz Schmuckney?) in the last election in November.

To learn more about Israel, Stephen welcomed Michael Oren, Israeli Ambassador to the United States, on the show. It was very helpful because we did get a brief update on what is happening in Israel and the region around Israel. At one point, Stephen remarked that Oren is just like Captain Kirk. "I work in space, I'm from Iowa." (Kirk was born in Riverside Iowa on March 22, 2228.)

This is turning out to be Queasy Week on the The Colbert Report. Dennis Tito wants to send a couple on a round trip mission to Mars. It will be just like a Carnival Cruise. Except for one thing. Radiation will be a bit of a problem, but there is a solution. As I said, Queasy. But it also presents opportunity. The lucky couple will be able to redecorate while in the space capsule and that will solve other problems, namely radiation and stuff that can't be recycled and therefore will need to be reused or re-purposed as people call it now.

Stephen's guest last night was friend of the show and actor, director, author, poet and model James Franco. More important than any of those was his interview with Stephen. And it was delightful. James Franco is the lead character in "Oz the Great and Powerful." I'm pretty sure this is not going to be as tame as the movie, "The Wizard of Oz." In the 2013 movie, we find out what happened before Dorothy came to Oz. Interestingly enough, in the description of Oscar Diggs over at imdb for "Oz the Great and Powerful," we find that Oscar Diggs must decide if he will be a good man or a great man. Who do we know that always asks whether someone or something is good or great? Yep, it's Stephen.

But back to the interview. In real life, James Franco also had a voyage of discovery, trying out many venues and exploring his inner self. And just like the scarecrow, he wanted a brain. Then, almost like Dorothy, he discovered what he really wanted out of life and that he had it all along.

In discussing the witches in the movie, Stephen brought up that ever popular game, "Marry, Hit That, or Throw a Pail of Water on Her." Lot of soul-searching is needed for that game. It prompted Stephen to ask of James Franco, "Do you want a Good Witch or a Wicked Witch?" I got the impression they were straying from actual discussion of the movie at times. Eventually, though, the discussion moved on to Home Construction with Stephen coming up with ideas of ideal places for where a house could be "placed."

Up next for James Franco is "Of Mice and Men." There is a character in that play that has not yet been cast. The obvious choice, at least for the audience, is Stephen. James Franco and Stephen Colbert ended the show with a Tolkien Showdown. Stephen's grasp of Trivia is amazing and the show ended with Stephen yelling, "How Dare You! How Dare You!"

Tide Goes In, Tide Goes Out

Monday's show left me a little bit queasy for many reasons. Maybe queasy is not the right word, but there were segments that were a bit off the beaten track.  First of all was the part about scientists and creatures from the sea and the police. If you go over to Colbert Nation to watch it or if you have it on TiVo or something similar and have not watched it yet, I can help out. When it gets to the part about the police not closing the case because there was not case in the first place and then you hear the quote about "They gave me liquor," you might want to shut your eyes for a bit. Stop watching until after you hear the audience say "EEEEWWWWWW." Then you should watch again when it's about the creature from the sea. That part is good.

More about guns. In Texas , Representative Dan Flynn wants to decrease the number of hours needed for gun safety class from ten hours to four hours. The reason for this is because it can waste a whole Saturday for people that want a gun. And another guy, Kyle Coplen, has a unique idea. He wants to give guns to people in high crime areas. Both these ideas are indeed that, ideas. I expect there will be more news about this in future reports from Stephen.

The guest last night was Kirk Bloodsworth and I loved his tie. But no, he's not some sort of fashion designer who makes really neat silk ties or something like that. It's just that his tie was so appropriate. He spent eight years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. It was DNA that proved his innocence and prevented him from being executed. So yes, he likes DNA. The witness ID in his case said that the perpetrator was 6'5", had curly blond hair and was skinny. When the real guy was caught, he was actually 5'6" and weighed 160 pounds.  I don't know that much about actual investigations of crimes, but it seems that about half the crime shows on TV base their story on having an eyewitness that breaks the case, and the other half base their story on how wrong the eyewitness was completely wrong about the crime that was committed.

But back to the guest. Kirk Bloodsworth has a goal of getting rid of the death penalty in the 33 states that still have it. There's a website, Innocence Project, and there are Faces of Exoneration that you can see. It has the names and brief statements about people who were in prison and were exonerated and released. It was an interesting interview and brought up issues that should be of concern for all of us.

Pope Goes the Weasel

At a time when there is no Pope we are finding out that our sweaters are possessed by demons. This couldn't come at a worse time. Pat Robertson gave us the warning but Stephen had a Consumer Alert. If you look at the labels on your clothes you will probably find the occult symbols plus instructions so that you can cast out Lucifer, always wash in cold, tumble dry low. Stephen then blessed all our clothes.

The artist formerly known as the Pope has resigned. He had times of great joy during his time as Pope but also times when he thought the Lord was sleeping. That's right. Sleeping. Of course this is not true and Stephen told us why.

As for the next Pope, we don't know who it will be. Therefore, three Pope outfits are made, in sizes small, medium and large. I imagine once the new Pope is known for sure, the tailors will be able to get those robes to fit just right. In the meantime, vendors who sell Pope merchandise are trying to move out that old merchandise before a new Pope is named. You can't blame them for trying to cash in with all those mementos and memorabilia. Stephen had examples. And he assured us that the carpet matches the shoes. I won't go into details. He also quoted scripture: "Look for the souvenir stalls in the temple, just past the moneychangers. You can't miss it!" Matthew 21:13

The Sequester is making the news all the time. Lots of bad stuff is happening. People's lives will be affected. Why is this happening? Why can't it get fixed? Perhaps Stephen had the answer with a simple explanation. The senators and representatives still get their salary regardless of what they get accomplished or not accomplished. Where do I sign up? He explained it like this. Congress thinks that it's like a loan shark that says if you don't pay up, I'm gonna break your neighbor's legs. Stephen had a solution that involved a monkey, food source and a locked door.

Jon Favreau was the guest on Thursday night. He has been working with Barack Obama since he was 23 years old - just a youngster. Favreau is much older now - he's 31. He is the former speech writer for Obama and also John Kerry. It was interesting to hear how the speech writing process works. I imagine it can be different for different people, that just makes sense. Barack Obama would talk with Jon Favreau, say all the things that were important while Favreau would type all of it. Then, he would go to work polishing it.

If you go to the Google machine to find out more, be aware that there is a Hollywood actor with the same name. Interesting, because it seems that is where this Jon Favreau is heading off to soon.

My Name is Jay

First of all, where can I buy that shirt? Stephen has renamed Jay the Intern. Is that even legal? I guess so because he did it. Jay now gets "health coverage". That's cool. And refreshing. Now Stephen needs to start marketing the shirt Jay was wearing. I would buy one. So now Jay the Intern is Halls Mentho-lyptus With Triple Soothing Action Presents Jay the Intern. Let the Cool in Jay, let the cool in.

Something that I just thought of: If for some reason Stephen was unable to do the show, could Jay fill in for him? It is a possibility, a possibility that I think the audience would truly enjoy. That intern has talent and potential in the world of broadcast news!

A new development in our Justice System involves a spinning red light and also a mysterious spinning red light. It has something to do with Gitmo and with the Cenral Inellieence Aency and I'm not saying another thing, especially out loud. Neal Katyal of Georgetown Law School was on to discuss with Stephen and they seemed to come up with the notion that this was a flaw.

John Kerry is busy visiting the world, but not Easter Island, his homeland. I can completely understand that. This has got to be the busiest time of the year on Easter Island. Jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, and fake grass all have to be made and distributed by the end of the month. This summer would be a better time to visit Easter Island. John Kerry is spreading the word around the world that Americans have the right to be stupid. That applies to each and every person in our nation. That includes John Kerry. It also includes Stephen but he never uses that right.

Paola Antonelli was Stephen's guest on Wednesday night. She is the Senior Curator, Department of Architeccture and Design for MoMA (The Museum of Modern Art). She discussed physics if you can believe that and we learned about the past, the present, the future, the moment, and being modern. It was confusing. We also learned that Stephen's coffee mug is "design" but poor design. Also discussed was iPad, which needs to come in many more sizes. She said the idea was to make everything disappear. Well then, what would they have over at the Museum of Modern Art? Oh, yeah, I know, all this stuff. We got to see some really neat designed art including bee-designed vase, a rolling land mine destroyer, and an earthquake-proof student desk.

Note to Stephen: Take the wrapper off before you eat it.