Bogusivity

America Strikes Back continues. Last night Stephen talked about the Vice President nominee, Paul Ryan. Especially about his speech. It was an important speech, a huge moment. You could tell that Stephen was just as proud as anyone because he complimented Paul Ryan for finally earning his Public Speaking Merit Badge and becoming an Eagle Scout. Only one, well maybe a few, well maybe more than a dozen, little teeny, itsy bitsy problems. Ryan said things that weren't exactly factual. Lots of news organizations called him out on that. (Here, here, here, here, and here.) By looking over the video tape of Paul Ryan's speech, Stephen was able to isolate when they said he was lying. It was when he started moving his lips.

Here's what one person, Sally Kohn of Fox News, said: "Ryan's speech was an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech."

So? said the Romney campaign's Neil Newhouse on August 28, 2012. "We're not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact-checkers." Others pointed out that this was a speech of big ideas, huge ideas. "Such as: lying is handy," noted Stephen. "Ryan stretching the truth is just another form of doping in that if you believe him, you're a dope.

A big treat for Stephen's fans was presidential candidate and Mormon Jon Huntsman as the guest. Luckily for us he did not answer all of Stephen's questions in Mandarin Chinese, even though he speaks it fluently. Perhaps some of the interview might have gone better if he had spoken Mandarin Chinese. Because. He said this. "I hate Super PACs." and then, even worse, he admitted that he knew that would be a hurtful statement because he said next, "I knew you were going to take offense at that, Stephen."

Stephen knew exactly what to do. He promoted his own Super PAC and told Jon Huntsman that, "We are building a better tomorrow," (pauses, looks at his audience, and they all chime in together) "TOMORROW."

One of the hard hitting questions that Stephen asked of Jon Huntsman was this, "How important do YOU think the facts are to a political campaign?

Awkward pause. Audience laughs.

To close out the interview, Stephen asked Jon Huntsman to say what his honest opinion of Mitt Romney is, but to say it in Mandarin Chinese.

Jon Huntsman said it, what he really thinks of Mitt Romney. But, since it was in Mandarin Chinese, I didn't quite catch it, so we will just have to assume that we know what was said about Mitt Romney.

I Will Be a Complete Jerk To Her

Last night was a lot of fun at the Republican National Convention and Stephen covered pretty much everything from the previous night because of all that, well, time delay and taping the show early and you know, technical stuff. Stephen talked about Mitt Romney. He talked about Reince Priebus. He talked about Dustin Hoffman. He talked about Ann Romney. There was hardly anyone he didn't talk about.

Ann Romney talked about "Love" and then Chris Christie told us to choose "Respect" over "Love." So, kind of a road bump there. And then Stephen told us what we can look forward to according to  Matt Rhoades, campaign manager for Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney wants to be just like Jim. James Polk that is. The possibilities are exciting especially when you consider that Romney and Ryan's positions are older than Polk's. (Stephen was playing a drinking game last night. He took a lot of sips, so not as much talking as usual for him.)

Stephen gave a shout-out to Libertarians last night, namely Rand Paul and Ron Paul who currently is in Orlando. He also reminded us that it would be the Vice Coronation of Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan. This just naturally led in to a talk about Ayn Rand. We got to see how Paul Ryan, a devoted fan of Ayn Rand, celebrated her 100th birthday. (Nice hat!) And this is what Paul Ryan said about Ayn Rand back on February 2, 2005:

"The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand. I grew up reading Ayn Rand and it taught me quite a bit about who I am and what my value systems are, and what by beliefs are. It's inspired me so much that it's required reading in my office for all my interns."

Stephen summed up Ayn Rand's message and said how it fits so well for the interns of Paul Ryan. "You should work for free and think exactly what your boss tells you to."

Fast forward to August 14 of this year. He agrees but disagrees with Ayn Rand, so that is perfectly clear.

Stephen's guest was Jennifer Burns. Stephen promised to be a complete jerk to her. They talked about her book Goddess of the Market and about Ayn Rand. I haven't read her book or Ayn Rand's books. But I also haven't read Paul Ryan's Republican Budget, so I am being fair to all of them - no favorites.

Isaac to Trump: You're Fired

First off, I want to say what great opening credits those are for this week's "Tampa 2012 - America Strikes Back." Someone should make a movie.

Two things are going on in the country now. The Republican National Convention in Tampa and Hurricane Isaac in the Gulf Coast. Because of one of these events, the other event had to change its course. And since it's pretty hard to make a hurricane change course, you have probably figured out that its the Republican Convention that changed course. Well, changed its schedule, so almost the same thing. As a result, Donald "The Donald" Trump did not get to give his speech. Here was about the only platform where Donald Trump would be able to share his views and he lost out on that chance. When will we ever get to hear him talk again? I just don't know.

Other speakers have canceled in order to go back to their states and be there for the hurricane: Governors Rick Scott of Florida, Robert Bentley of Alabama and Phil Bryant of Mississippi. That's okay, there are plenty of other people at the Convention. Chris Christie will give the keynote speech, Paul Ryan will accept the Vice Presidential nomination and Marco Rubio is Hispanic. Time permitting, Mitt Romney will speak.

The most important thing happening at the Convention isn't happening in Tampa. It is happening online, on the Internet over at Colbert Nation. Stephen mentioned that Tampa is known for its strip bars and they are expecting to do a brisk business form delegates. Therefore security is tight. Everyone should have a security pass and so everyone should go here to get their Tampa 2012: America Strikes Back All-Access Pass. Even if you choose not to get one, you should at least go look at the choices on the form. You will find out a lot about yourself just by the choices you make.

You will need to fill in the usual things, your name, your sexuality, your most urgent lower taxes priority, your home state, your summer home state, your ski home state and your tax haven country. Also you will be asked to vote for your favorite Repetitive Republican.

You may remember that Todd Akin made waves last week with his statements that reflected his knowledge of how the female body works. Stephen tried to clear up all the confusion with his Hoo-Ha Lady Zone 5000. He was able to lay it all out for us to show the workings of the female reproductive system, including the dragon that guards the entrance. Good. Now we know. If you need any more info, just stop by any strip joint.

Stephen also talked briefly about Rep. Steve King, Congressman from Iowa, (not to be confused with Stephen King who talks about and writes about scary stuff). Rep. King defended Akin and Stephen shared videos of Rep. King being so fair and balanced that he will say one thing and then say the opposite. I think he's supporting both sides of an issue. Stephen Colbert just thinks Rep. King can't hear what comes out of his mouth.

The guest was Andrew Sullivan, political conservative and Editor of The Dish over at The Daily Beast. He claims to be a conservative. Yet he supports Barack Obama for President, even more so than he did when Barack Obama first ran in 2008. But that's just because the other party has gotten nutsier than they were the last time around. This was indeed an interesting discussion by two conservatives, talking about the upcoming presidential election.

I'm pretty sure we will hear more in the coming days about this election. It's just a feeling I have.

Freedom of Speech - Pete Seeger

Freedom of Speech seems to be important to a lot of people nowadays. You hear a lot about it. Which is good I suppose. If people weren't talking about freedom of speech, that would actually probably really mean that there was none!

A while back, Pete Seeger was on The Colbert Report. I was touched that these two great men, Stephen Colbert a conservative, and Pete Seeger a liberal, could sit down and talk together and get along so well. They actually have a lot in common. And I said I would post something else about Pete Seeger. So here it is.

There's a great video to watch. I hope it doesn't disappear after I tell you about it. (UPDATE: It has now disappeared. You can look for yourself, but it's gone. I hope they have it on PBS again.)  It is a PBS special about Pete Seeger - "Pete Seeger - The Power of Song (2007) by PBS American Masters."

It is long, so grab a bag of popcorn and watch it and learn and enjoy. We get to see his humble abode, maybe not as humble as when he first built it with his own hands. There's a neat weather vane that looks like a sailboat. We see later in the video that it is not just some random piece of metal art sculpture. It is a tribute to great accomplishments. We see a wall with his many instruments displayed. We get to watch him cutting wood for the fire just like he told Stephen.

Many musicians are featured talking about Pete Seeger. There's a neat story by Arlo Guthrie, a cute little trick. We find out how quickly fame can come and how quickly it can fade. If you don't have time to read history of the last 100 years, this is a great way to find out what was happening from the people who were making it happen.

Johnny Cash talks with Pete Seeger on his show. Tommy Smothers talks about the time when Pete Seeger was on his show - "The Smothers Brothers." Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Bruce Springsteen. Mary Travers and many more musicians are featured sharing their stories of Pete Seeger.

Freedom of Speech is better when you sing it. It's more powerful and accomplishes much more.

Go watch that video. It will change your life.

Out-of-Studio Experiences

As I expected, it is repeats this week. Mark Shriver, Woody Harrelson, The Flaming Lips and fun. are on tap for this week. I know this not because I'm some "The Colbert Report" insider, but because I check out Colbert Nation on a regular basis. You can go there, scroll down a bit and see Upcoming Guests. While the repeats may be a disappointment to some people, the obvious explanation is right under the photo of "fun. (Repeat)." It says "Out-of-Studio Experiences." Occasionally, Stephen needs to leave the studio to cover the big stories. Remember when he went to Vancouver? Remember all the coverage of Curiosity landing on Mars? Well, Stephen has to go cover the story, no matter where that leads him. I'm not sure where he is now, but I do know that Jon Stewart is heading to Tampa Bay so I expect Stephen Colbert will probably hop on a plane or a bus or a motorcycle and make his way there also.

Any why? you might ask. Go ahead, ask. Because the GOP is going there for the RNC. That's right, the Grand Old Party is going to the Republican National Convention. Everyone will be there, including about 15,000 credentialed media. That most certainly should include Stephen Colbert. What would a political convention be like without him? (Bor-ing)

So watch repeats this week in anticipation of the greatest conservative in the country wowing us next week with his coverage of all things Republican. I can hardly wait.

17th Amendment

I know you are expecting more concert news and I do have that, but also a little bit about the 17th Amendment later on.

Thursday night was the last concert in the StePhest Colbchella 012 Rocktaugustfest. But as usual, before the music there must be some politics. So, to keep it short, Mitt Romney likes policy. Paul Ryan reads policy. Some, and by some I mean of course Tea Partiers, want to repeal the 17th Amendment. That's the one that gives voters the right and the power to vote for their Senator. The Tea Party had better be careful. There's a whole group of people who are loyal to the United States and are exceedingly loyal to the Constitution. They would most likely object to the whole concept of messing with the Constitution. That would be the Tea Party. They don't like people messing with the Constitution. But wouldn't repealing part of the Constitution violate not messing with the Constitution? Is the Tea Party messing with the Tea Party? I have a headache. I need a nice hot cup of Earl Grey.

Luckily there was music and luckily before the music there was an interview. Good. Something to take my mind off politics. Flaming Lips was the musical talent, but Stephen could not interview all of them, so it was just Wayne Coyne. Yes, Wayne Coyne and Stephen Colbert in a space capsule.Just a typical day at the office. Wayne Coyne worked at Long John Silver for about 13 years as a fry cook. He also worked with Yoko Ono. Stephen reminded everyone of her reputation for breaking up bands. She was on the Daily Show briefly according to Stephen and is the reason that Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell left the Daily Show.

There was music of course and bonus music over at Colbert Nation. And then Stephen walking around, so to speak, in the famous plastic bubble that Wayne Coyne uses for transportation. I am still waiting for the day when cars are replaced in favor of the more efficient and cleaner bubbles.

One other thing to note. This past week, Stephen has been in uniforms of various kinds. Everyone, I am sure, would agree that indeed the uniforms are working for him. He looks very naval and self-assured. I can almost imagine him in a movie with Johnny Depp. Maybe something about pirates?

More Fun Than a Kamikaze Attack

Stephen started out with a refreshing Pepsi, of course, and then handed the show off to Stephen up on the bridge. Summer is ending soon and as the season leaves, so do the summer interns. We got to see them on stage for a send-off from Stephen, all 4 guys and all 9 gals. He also welcomed a new batch of interns who are extremely athletic and also helpful.

I'm happy to report that tonight Stephen finally took us on a tour of the USS Intrepid. First as a guide was Jessica Williamson, ship historian and curator. Stephen was under the mistaken impression that the USS Intrepid would actually submerge and he wondered what happened to all the airplanes on deck when that happened. Jessica corrected him, explaining to him that an aircraft carrier never submerges. That would be submarines. Stephen suggested that they agree to disagree. So, the belief that an aircraft carrier goes under water has the same validity as the belief that an aircraft carrier just carries aircraft. Okay, got it.

We found out many fascinating facts from Jessica Williamson, including that the StePhest Colbchella 012 Rocktaugustfest is more fun than a kamikaze attack. We saw two models of the ship, including one made out of a quarter million Lego bricks. We then were joined by USS Intrepid veteran Merino Deleo (and I hope I spelled his name correctly). Stephen was excited to be shown around more of the ship by a veteran and even passed all the tests with flying colors. We were treated with a musical number about New York. Seems somewhat familiar, but can't quite place it.

By now we should not be surprised that Stephen would interview the guest somewhere that is a little bit off the beaten track. He interviewed Santigold in a helicopter, a small 2-person helicopter. We saw that Santigold indeed can be very wide-eyed. The two of them compared their own differing musical styles. Quite interesting. Although Stephen didn't specify exactly how he finds inspiration to sing, I think we can agree that Santigold is more mainstream than Stephen is. She agreed to sing and Stephen agreed to leave the helicopter, the very small helicopter. Santigold sang The Keepers from her album Master of My Make-Believe.

A word of wisdom from Stephen: "If it's too loud, you're too old."

Julia Child and Fritillary Butterfly

Take a break in your busy day and try to figure out what Julia Child and a Fritillary Butterfly have in common. Give up? Okay, it's a little bit far fetched. It's Search Engines! Today over at bing.com you can watch a Fritillary Butterfly flapping its wings. Just watch for a few seconds. Now, don't you feel calmer and more relaxed? And over at Google.com the google doodle is honoring Julia Child who would have been 100 years old today. Splurge on a delicious meal at a French restaurant tonight in her honor.

I can almost imagine what the interview might have been like if Stephen Colbert would have had Julia Child on as a guest. First there would have been the comparison of Emmys won. And I would bet there would have been a cooking competition that would have involved eggs dropping, oil splattering, and lots of whipped cream. Just use your imagination! Bon appétit!

Confusing and Disorienting, But Smooth

It's day two of the StePhest Colbchella 012 Rocktaugustfest and tonight's guest was Grizzly Bear. Stephen started out on stage waving a large American Flag and only gave it up in order to enjoy a cold, refreshing Pepsi. Thank- you Corporate Sponsor! "I cannot believe how much money we got from them," Stephen told us. Obviously, it must be a lot. I don't think battleships come cheap.

Friend of the show, Stephen Colbert was again up on the bridge of the USS Intrepid and Stephen waved to Stephen who waved back. Up on the bridge, in the exact replica of the studio, Stephen got right into politics. No doubt you've heard that Mitt Romney has chosen Paul Ryan as his running mate. Stephen wondered why and offered some ideas. Big question on his mind was if they are ready for the international stage. GOP pinata Tim Pawlenty suggested that they are ready. Mitt Romney has traveled to other countries a lot. If that doesn't count as foreign relations, I don't know what does.

More stuff, but I just have to get right to the interview and music. Stephen ran through the ship, slowly, and had to fight off a group of camera hogs blocking the stairwell. Luckily there was a fire extinguisher handy and that really got them moving. Stephen did make his way to a Life Boat where the four members of Grizzly Bear were sitting calmly, quietly, waiting for Stephen. Only after Stephen hopped on board did the life boat begin to rock dangerously during the whole interview. He apologized, as if that would help.

Anyway, Grizzly Bear, what kind of music do they play? According to the tastiest member, Ed Droste, their music is like the life boat, confusing and disorienting, but smooth. Yes it is and has a jazzy quality. The guys got a very harmonious Colbert Bump for the Grizzly Bear and we were treated to a song. And good news -- more songs are over at Colbert Nation. Enjoy!

Note: I apologize for having the wrong link to Grizzly Bear at the beginning of the post. That goes to the actual bear type of Grizzly Bear, so not who Stephen would have on his show. Again, apologies and I hope no one was offended or scared.

Four More Pegs Before We Sink

Well, now I just feel foolish. I had assumed the USS Intrepid would be on The Colbert Report. Apparently, The Colbert Report was on the USS Intrepid. I really misunderstood that whole situation. I will have to pay closer attention to what Stephen says from now on.

So, Stephen dressed up in his finest Admiral uniform for the Stephest Colbchella '012 Rocktaugustfest aboard the USS Intrepid on the Hudson River in New York and enjoyed a refreshing sip from his excited bottle of Pepsi. His second in command was there, Grandmaster Flash and what looked like a deck full of eager young fans. Wouldn't you just know it. As soon as the fun started, Jon Stewart interrupted so that he and Stephen could continue with their game of Battleship. Jon scored a hit on Stephen which is a little bit disconcerting if you are on the actual battleship at the time.

Surprising to me and maybe everyone else was the fact that Stephen at the helm waved up at Stephen on the bridge. How can he be in two places at once? And yet, there he was, up on the bridge, which was made up to be an exact replica of The Colbert Report studio.

Mitt Romney made an important announcement on Saturday morning. It looked like he was on the USS Intrepid, but, probably just another boat. Anyway, he announced that Paul Ryan would be the next president of the United States. This was a great relief to Stephen. He could relax knowing all the hoopla about Mitt Romney for President was just that, hoopla. Drat. It was a mistake by Romney. He meant to announce that Paul Ryan would be the next Vice President of the United States. Oh, well. At least it was a bold choice of another white, Christian, male candidate.

The guest tonight was Fun. I know what you are thinking, every guest is fun. But tonight, it was Fun. not fun! Either you know or you don't. Stephen ran all through the ship to get to them. Eventually he caught up to the three guys on a bunk bed. Tired by all his running, Stephen reclined in the bottom bunk and conducted the interview from there.

Sometimes interview questions are boring, but not so with Fun. Stephen asked great questions. And then he asked more questions. After a quick commercial break, more fun with Fun. They performed "Some Nights" for the whole shipload of fans.

For bonus songs go to Colbert Nation. Some lucky fans were in the right place at the right time and got to see just what a T Mobile "good-night" looks like.

StePhest Colbchella '012 Rocktaugustfest -1

Tonight is the night. I am so excited. Tonight Stephen will have as a guest the USS Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum. And there will be music, lots of music. I wish I had more details, but soon the lucky audience members at The Colbert Report Studio will be in for a musical feast, or musical Phest. I can't wait.

Always a Bridesmaid

Poor Tim Pawlenty, always a bridesmaid, never a bride. How could Stephen's pick for Vice President not be the pick of Mitt Romney? I cried all night. I Googled Paul Ryan and found this about the new Vice President candidate. Surely Tim Pawlenty would have been a better choice. He's got a better score over at PoltiFact that Paul Ryan does. Why, almost half of what Pawlenty has said recently, almost Half, of the statements are true or mostly true.

I'm going to have to buy me some Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream and just sit and console myself. Was it something Timmy said? Was it that whole Shooting Sparks comment? Did that scare Romney away from choosing Pawlenty? We'll probably never know.

You're Gonna Make It After All

Stephen started out honoring Michele Bachmann for her unrelenting search for people who are different from her. See more about that in previous post about John McCain.

Speaking of Minnesota, Stephen is getting caught up with Better Know a District. The 67th Installment was the Fighting 5th District in Minnesota, the area that includes Minneapolis. There you can find the Hennepin Avenue Bridge crossing the Mississippi (and the Ippississim), the Walker Art Center, the Spoon Bridge, and the home of Prince. We got to see some typical winter wear for Minnesota cold winters. And Stephen sat down, in a room, with three term Congressman Keith Ellison.

Keith Ellison is a Muslim, in fact, he is the first Muslim elected to Congress. Stephen called him the very first secret Muslim. Congressman Ellison told him he is not a secret Muslim, at which point Stephen said he is the first openly secret Muslim in Congress. He then asked the Congressman to say to his friends, "Stephen's cool." Keith complied and said, "Steve's cool."

The discussion turned to Michele Bachmann and her recent hunt for the aforementioned people who are different than her. "How much infiltration is there?" asked Stephen. "None," replied Congressman Ellison. But then, apparently, Stephen caught him in some sort of weird logic trap. And I only say weird because in college I learned that when something is illogical, you can not use it to prove something logically. But I digress.

"Are you a Muslim?"
"Yes sir."
"Do you have siblings?
"Yes sir."
"So you are literally a Muslim brother."
"I guess."
"I just caught you."

Stephen went on to say that a little witch hunt never hurt anyone, however, the Congressman disagreed. "It hurts a lot of people." He believes it is better to be fair.

So, who is Congressman Keith Ellison supporting for president? He was asked three times and answered each time, "Obama." Stephen tried a different tactic to get him to change his mind. What about if Mitt Romney called Keith Ellison and asked him to be the Vice President candidate? To make it easier for the viewers, Stephen had the two of them act out the phone call between Mitt Romney and Keith Ellison. Stephen played the part of Mitt, and Keith played the part of Keith. Even so, Keith turned Mitt down. That did not seem to register with Stephen/Mitt who seemed to think that the answer had been yes. Truthiness, perhaps?

Anyway, Minneapolis is also home to Mary Tyler Moore. There was a great sing-along of the theme song from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And then, to conclude the interview, Stephen convinced Keith Ellison to toss a hat up in the air. 

It is not easy being interviewed for the Better Know a District segment, but Congressman Ellison did a fairly decent job answering Stephen's questions. I imagine we can be looking for Congresswoman Michele Bachmann to show up soon on the show. Stephen must have so many questions he would like to ask her. I can hardly wait.

Who's honoring him now? Or as Stephen would say, who's honoring me now? Apparently, well he's not really being honored, more like mentioned. But, psychologists in Canada and New Zealand have found truth in truthiness. And, people are more likely to say something was true if there was a decorative picture to go along with a statement. Stephen believed the research. After all, there was a picture of him. He was uncomfortable that science was used to prove this. He would have preferred that truthinessiness proved the truth about truthiness.

Stephen's guest was Woody Harrelson. He has written and directed the off-Broadway play, "Bullet for Adolf." Lest you think he just came on the show to promote this, let me reassure you. He didn't. He just shamelessly sucked up to Stephen and then casually unbuttoned his shirt a bit where we notice  what looks like a huge tattoo for "Bullet for Adolf." Stephen assumed this was the sequel to "The Sound of Music," but no, it is not anything like that show. Stephen doesn't often get gifts from the guests, but Woody Harrelson was kind enough to give him a T-shirt. And it just happened to be a "Bullet For Adolph" shirt. What's the chances of that happening, right?

Quick Get In The Car

There has been a lot of food in the news lately and not always in a food sort of way. (Chicken comes to mind!) Here's more food related stuff. Papa John's Pizza may end up costing us up to 14 cents more because of the improvements in health care as a result of the Affordable Care Act, you know, Obamacare.

And then there's pills that have potato batteries built into them and your skin patch sends a message to your smart phone and then every one of your friends know your pills are working. (I wonder if I got that right. It sounds a bit confusing now that I read it back. hmph.)

Stephen has better products made by Prescott Pharmaceuticals. For example, you can get Facelift Bungee for $25, but for a mere $24, you can get something just as good from Prescott. It's the Vacsa Strap - a prescription strength adhesive celluloid ribbon, undetectable at a range of 50 meters or more. Stephen demonstrated it. For sure he looked different, whether or not he looked younger is a not as certain. One thing I know for sure though, I really wanted to see him take that thing off! Unfortunately, he did it during the commercial break, so only the studio audience got to see.

More food again. Cheerios, that tasty oat cereal made by General Mills. (Ooh, there' recipes at their website. Yum.) It seems they are welcoming and inclusive of folks. This got Michael Leisner mad. He only wants to be accepting of some people, not all people, so his bright idea was to set some Cheerios on fire in front of General Mills in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Good idea. After all, what could possibly go wrong? Here's some info about the video and the man.

And here's the video, at least for now.

As a side note, when I looked at this page with the Michael Leisner video, up in the top left hand corner was a photo of Tim Pawlenty and this link to another story: T-Paw's Wikipedia on lockdown thanks to Colbert. Well, what did Stephen expect? Oh, right, he did expect that.

Liza Mundy was the guest on the show. Her latest book (half of which seems to be on the front cover) is "The Richer Sex, How the New Majority of Female Breadwinners Is Transforming Sex, Love and Family." You can read about the book over at New York Times. Both Liza and Stephen had interesting questions and interesting observations. We will have to wait until the future gets here to decide if this is a good thing.

Hardware Stuff

(Note: I just updated We Mars'd It, so be sure to read the next post also.)

In his continuing Stephen Colbefrajilympic Expealacoverage '012, Stephen saluted the Olympic spirit and paid tribute to our patriotic team members. Stand proud, team members, stand proud.

And on to politics. We got to follow along in that reporter(s) followed along while Mitt Romney did some everyday, normal Joe, run of the mill shopping errands. He went to the Hardware store and bought hardware stuff. He went to the grocery store and bought, well probably grocery stuff. This of course naturally leads to a discussion of possible Vice President picks. The way to know who it will be is Wikipedia. Just see which candidate had the most updates on Wikipedia and that will be the VP pick. We know this is true because back when John McCain went all mavericky and picked Sarah Palin, her Wikipedia page had been updated about 68 times the previous day.

Can you guess what comes next? Of course. Stephen encouraged everyone to update the Wikipedia page of their favorite candidate for Mitt Romney's running mate. He demonstrated with the Wikipedia page of friend of the show Tim "T Paw" Pawlenty of Minnesota. The updates were quite interesting, however, I looked at the Wikipedia page for Tim Pawlenty and I did not see the changes. Either Wikipedia already scrubbed the updates that Stephen did, or Stephen did not press the correct Wiki Wiki button after he made the changes. But anyway, go update your favorite potential candidate, whether it be Chris Christie, Paul Ryan, Marc Rubio, Rob Portman, or Rafalca. I guess, in a way, members of the Colbert Nation just might be the ones to pick Mitt Romney's running mate. I can hardly wait!

Animal rights issues are important to almost everyone, but not to Congressman Steve King of Iowa. We got to hear examples of Congressman Steve King talking about what dogs should and should not do.

We also got to hear Congressman King talk about this possible scenario: A sexual predator impregnates a 13 year-old girl, picks her up at the playground of her middle school, hauls her across state line to have an abortion and brings her back to the swing set. According to him, that's not against the law in the United States of America.

Luckily, Stephen Colbert has people off stage who talk to him during the show. "What? What? I'm being told that all of that is against the law." Stephen then explained situations that illustrate his understanding of what Congressman Steve King said. Stephen has such a way with words.

Stephen's guest was Mark A. Shriver, who talked about his dad Sargent Shriver, and the book he wrote about his dad. "A Good Man, Rediscovering My Father, Sargent Shriver" is the book. Sargent Shriver had quite the resume. Peace Corps, Head Start, Job Corp, VISTA, and Legal Services.

With Pete Seeger on Monday, and Sargent Shriver's son Mark on, it is starting to seem like Liberal Week over at the Colbert Report. But, since Stephen is a Conservative, that just shows that he is fair and willing to listen to both sides.

We Mars'd It

Curiosity touched down SUCCESSFULLY on Mars. Now everyone is curious. Is there life on Mars? Apparently there did seem to be some sort of feline life, but the Rover landed on top of it. Curiosity killed the cat. But citizens, are there any citizens on Mars? That's the real question. Perhaps this will answer that question. And for lots more information and pictures, yes pictures, head over to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

Dan Cathy's confession ran AFOWL of supporters of the LGBT community. Of course, part of the media circus is because of the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day suggested and promoted by Walking Fried Food Museum Mike Huckabee. Stephen noted that while it may have been the best day in history for the fast food restaurant, it was the worst day in history for the chickens. It's time to put this story about Chick-fil-A to bed, but Stephen just had to get in one last jab with his "ran AFOWL" comment. I have never seen Mr. Colbert look smirkier. Cluck, cluck, Stephen. Cluck cluck.

Pete Seeger was the guest. He is a living legend and having him on the show was even better than having Paul Bunyan or Johnny Appleseed show up. Pete Seeger is still going strong. He lives in the country. He heats his home with wood and therefore spends some of his time splitting logs. This impressed Stephen immensely, who, at age 48, claims you can stick him with a fork because he is done.

Stephen was able to put the responsibility for gay marriage smack dab on the shoulders of Pete Seeger by the simple method of basically making it up. Starting with the folk revival that Pete Seeger was instrumental (pun) in, Stephen went on to Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Woodstock, Sexual Revolution, Bill Clinton, and therefore gay marriage.

I found this great article over at Huffington Post by Peter Dreier about Pete Seeger. Lots more stuff than we learned from Stephen's interview. There's even the lyrics to the song "Quite Early Morning" at the end of Dreier's post.

Watch in the future for another post about Pete Seeger. There's more to the story of Pete Seeger than one post can do justice to.

Pete Seeger

Music and politics unite in a lifetime of achievement. This has got to be one of Stephen's best guests yet. Stephen always has the best musicians in the world on his show. He often has politicians on his show.

Now he will interview Pete Seeger. There's not many people who know more about anything than Stephen Colbert and yet I'm willing to bet he will learn something tonight.

Will Pete Seeger sing something for us tonight? Oh, I bet he will. Will Stephen sing along. Oh, I hope he will. This is going to be one great show tonight. I just hope Curiosity doesn't do something to knock out my TV machine.

Go read about Pete Seeger here at his website. Or go read about Pete Seeger at Wikipedia.

As for me, I'm getting my banjo out of the closet and my harmonica out of the top dresser drawer.

People Chant My Name

On February 22, 2012, 2 people came to an agreement. If Stephen Colbert would support the DISCLOSE Act, then Nancy Pelosi would encourage Democrats to come on Stephens "Better Know A District" segment. Stephen has supported DISCLOSE and therefore Stephen was honored to do a segment with Missouri Congressman Russ Carnahan. He currently represents the 3rd District of Missouri which will become the 1st District in next election. I'm assuming that it got moved up to 1st place as a result of getting The Colbert Bump.

The two men talked about St. Louis, beer, corn, marriage and other important issues. Congressman Carnahan was able to keep up with Stephen and not be outshone. Kudos to him. (There's a reason why some members of Congress are afraid to be interviewed by Stephen Colbert, but Russ Carnahan is one of the brave members.

Stephen had a short segment about food. He complained about the FDA sitting around inspecting his meat. He complained about Meatless Mondays. And then he complained about people eating carrots, potatoes and watermelon. Well, people have different opinions on all of this. Hopefully some good can come out of all of this and by that I mean, when is Stephen going to write a cookbook?

Stephen's guest was Chris Hayes and while he did get dressed up for the interview, he did not look as fabulous as Stephen. Chris Hayes is host for Up with Chris Hayes, Editor At Large for The Nation, and wrote the book, Twilight of the Elites, America After Meritocracy. Stephen said that the future is bright, he has an iPad and that people chant his name. Chris Hayes doesn't wear a tie. But, there is a great song just waiting to be written by Woody Guthrie inside the verbosity of the book. Stephen suggested we all go out and buy it and read it. He thinks there might be vampires in it.

Fiscal Cliff

I know what you're thinking. Curiosity has landed on Mars and fell off the Fiscal Cliff. No, you're jumping ahead to tonight's guest and getting that confused with what Congress is doing.

First things first. Contraception. August 1 was a day to celebrate, ... or not, depending on who you are. After taking quite a few birth control pills (Stephen is one of the hottest women in the world), Stephen suggested a simpler plan for ladies is just to think of Mitch McConnell. I guess what Stephen is suggesting is something similar to a cold shower.

I was not paying close enough attention to the segment on the Economy, so I may have gotten stuff mixed up. I think what Stephen said is that some guy named Grover Norquist will push chickens off the Fiscal Cliff if anyone tries to shave him. Like I said, I might have that wrong. Perhaps a better explanation can be found here from Ezra Klein. It kind of worries me that Stephen was willing to so easily make some sacrifices last night. I think He Who Must Not Be Shaved has way too much power.

With the Olympics going on still, we got to see another segment of the Stephen Colbefrajilympic Expealacoverage '012. Gymnastics was the sport du jour. I was disappointed not to see good photos and video of what happened. What I did see was a bunch of letters and envelopes. Something about Olympic lawyers and "cease and desist" showing of footage of the games. Darn. Luckily, Stephen was able to accurately portray women's gymnastic without any worry about legal sanctions.Such form. Such speed. And she stuck the landing!

Speaking of landing, Curiosity! That's right, Curiosity is heading to Mars. You can watch live at 10:31 PDT. (11:31 in Mountain Time, 12:31 Central, 1:31 New York Time if I have my time zones correct.) More information over here at Wikipedia.

Oh, yeah, the guest. Well, NASA astronaut John Grunsfeld showed up to talk a little bit with Stephen about getting to Mars. Pretty exciting stuff! Planetary travel and all. You can go to the main NASA website page and spend hours looking at Earth, the Solar System (my personal favorite set of planets), the Universe and more. Be sure to go there soon and see if you don't recognize a certain Image of the Day person. If he's not there, try the "View Image Gallery" button and look for someone with the initials S.C.

I Piaffed It

First of all, Stephen compared the question asked of Mitt Romney about whether or not London is ready to do the Olympics with that question that Hank Williams Jr used to ask us, "Are you ready for some football?" And of course references to Mitt Romney's staff asking for a kiss from the press.

But enough of world affairs and presidential elections, on to the really important stuff.

Dressage.

Oh, wait, back to some presidential stuff. There will be no announcement about Mitt Romney's choice for a Vice President running mate until after Rafalca competes. This can only mean one thing according to Stephen. Mitt Romney has chosen Rafalca as his running mate. It's an obvious choice as Stephen compares Rafalca with Sarah Palin. You may remember Sarah Palin from four years ago. She was John McCain's running mate. Anyway, Stephen reminded us that both Sarah Palin and Rafalca are female. Both do not read newspapers. And both have completed the same number of terms as governor. I don't know what more proof anyone would need to see what is so apparent to Stephen. Let's hope that Rafalca gets to ride inside Air Force One and not have to be strapped on top of the plane.

Dressage.

"Money is not something that defines dressage. It's something you can do with a normal budget." This is according to Jan Ebeling who will be riding Rafalca. Absolutely. You know that it is true because even the Romneys can afford it with their normal budget.

Dressage.

Not only is it affordable for nearly everyone, it is also very easy to do. Stephen proved that the sport can be mastered with only 20 minutes of instruction. He cracked a whip and said "That brings back some memories." He asked about the likelihood of the horse, Conchita, kicking his skull off his shoulders. "The likelihood ... is about zero," claimed Michael Barisone. Those odds were not reassuring to Stephen who then asked if he should be wearing a cup. Then the unexpected happened which caused Stephen to piaffe a little bit. Not to worry. Stephen and Conchita are both fine. After just a little bit more coaxing and training from Michael Barisone, Stephen, sitting proudly on Conchita, performed a perfect Piaffe. He won the coveted prize. Stephen was so pumped he performed his own version of a Piaffe without benefit of a horse, so to speak. The two men celebrated with champagne.

The only thing missing from all this horseplay, in my opinion, was that Michael Barisone should have gotten the gold for, how to say this politely, putting up with Stephen.

Last year was the StePhest Colbchella '011. This year will be the StePhest Colbchella '012 Rocktaugustfest and you can get all the details over at Colbert Nation. Block out August 10 on your calendar!

Jeff Koons was indeed the guest last night. Why does he do what he does? "I like art." Perhaps more important than his balloon dogs is his support for Studio in a School. Go look at the website if you didn't look at it yesterday. Can you ever imagine a teacher saying it is time for art and the students all groan and say ,"Do we have to have art now?" That won't happen! Yeah, art is important.

So, there you have it. Art, music and dressage all in one show. Great job Stephen.